It appeared to land as sincere as he’d meant it, despite the gauze of well-mannered banter and teasing that’d remained carefully pulled over most words betwixt them. No laughter or quip sprouted to counter, allowing him time to digest just how awkward he must’ve been — the little squeeze of his hand could’ve meant anything, the pause pushing him to avert his look. Lest it be assumed he expected something.
Had he embarrassed her? There was a discomfort to receiving compliments, wasn’t there, the type he’d chosen the perfect moment to inflict upon her.
No way for a polite person to excuse themself, really. The dance caught a mechanical quality as the not seconds’ past sentences looped on over, a sinking feeling somewhere deep within. What had happened to the ever-sneering fluency and detachment, both of which had served well to keep a man sheltered from things as this.
And what sort of things were they. Even if she had not spoken then, reeling back his attention from where it had drifted, he doubted he’d had the courage to interrogate an answer out of himself. There needed be no such thing, for now. As he eyed her, an easy mischief replaced whatever blank introspection had befallen his face.
“ A titillating suggestion. “ He started, a shift upon him as he bettered his grip on both her and the next steps, accepting lead in all but words. Or perhaps he rather seized it, confidently as anyone practiced in it might. “ Perhaps I’ll see to granting the latter, once I’ve spun you around for good measure. “
As they meandered amongst other dancers, only the hem of her dress brushing against his shins, he hadn’t but to remark yet again that she danced well. He needn’t tell her to brace nor pace herself, but he made note to do so himself. He brought them to turn, sharper, one arm rising to send her to a couple steps’ distance, loose enough for her to occupy the space as she wished before he drew her back. It was closer still, how he’d preferred to lead, wherein one felt the entirety of their partner’s movements. Forfeit sense to sensation, pattern to intuition, mere atoms apart.
The thrill of it did away with both the budding ache in his shitty leg and the music that dampened to a mere discordant buzz, unimportant as he spun her again. Drapery snapped, some percussive instrument reaching into the fibers of his body in a steady beat, though he barely heard it. He’d not abide by it, caught by the recollection of old muscle memory that egged him on like in pursuit of something. Just pure physicality, attention narrowed to immediate vicinity, not too far past skin.
Though his smile had lost it’s breadth, he enjoyed the present no less than initially. Having promised suspense, he held her in it a moment longer, if only half for the principle of not being caught giving in too soon when he’d threatened to the contrary. Nay, suppose it was all too clearly indulgent, really, wanton satisfaction writ on every heel turn and ripple of expression. With them drawn so close, he couldn’t steal a glance at whatever she might’ve worn on her face, but neither did it matter as much as how she
felt. He’d nigh forgotten she’d come to him in a stumble, as she’d not faltered once since.
He’d worked up the anticipation, the lot of it in how his heart hitched when he adjusted his grip for the last time, the jolt of pain in his right knee a split-seconds’ reminder to which leg exactly he ought lean weight upon. Breath held, he tilted her against the arm that’d dutifully kept to her waist until now, other hand holding fast to hers. A light toss of his head saw that his hair fell past merely one shoulder, keeping it away from both of their faces as he peered down at her.
Now, it wasn’t exactly to the floor as she’d described and only as graceful as an aged man of his occupations was able, but he figured it would have to suffice. Despite the smug confidence in his smirk, his tone remained softer with self-awareness as he eased her upright again.
“ How was that, Syr Lóthlindor? “ Allowing a bit of distance, he held onto her hand ever so slightly, almost brazenly to his own mind once he caught himself at it. Or perhaps it was just a touch too honest, to linger.
Whichever, it felt like a ghost come haunting.
Farren Lóthlindor