Private Tales Lost It To Trying

[Odessa]

Odessa looked over at him as he nudged her, quietly chuckling at the statement he used to begin his speech. "For better or for worse... is this a wedding?" Another laughed followed before she would address the points, refusing to draw any attention to the shade of pink that began to creep across her cheeks and nose. "I am glad you have not had the pleasure of meeting Leander. He'd probably kill you for yesterday. Even if it was my fault."

A training exercise in restraint, they could call it if anyone ever found out. One they both failed.

"I don't have friends." Odessa stated bluntly. Honestly. Though not always a choice that she had made. "If that is what you are trying to do, I regret to inform you that it would all be in vain." Her hands bumped into his and, against her better judgment, she grabbed onto his- only to pull him out of the way of some busy local doing business. "I don't plan on killing myself, if that's what worries you. I'll live as long as I can, but I've made a lot of poor choices and deals that I cannot fulfil." She did not continue, but she did let go of his hand to open the door to a nearby inn.

 

[Rhidian]

For one that was unfeeling, her touch had left him feeling something. It was brief connection, something he was eager to get a hold of again, but alas, they were now before an inn, entering.

"Who knew you were such a busy deal maker." He mused, nudging her towards a free table that looked as if it was just wiped down. Good. He hated the feel of his leather jacket sticking to a table. It may have been in the corner, but it seemed the inn was bustling with patrons and noise for him to truly care. He had Odessa to himself, enough time before them for him to truly get to know her.

Perhaps he should have done that before bedding her...

 

[Odessa]

"Ha ha." The familiar sarcastic tone returned to Odessa, already sifting through her pockets for the coin needed to buy them a room with two beds in the inn. It seemed that Rhidian had other plans. Plans that Odessa would follow along with for the time being. If he was hungry, they would eat. Secretly, she was grateful that he was hungry. Odessa did not get hunger pains or any sensation related to food. She relied on others to remind her of when it was time to eat. With the lack of friends...it explained her slender frame quite well.

Sitting down at the table, she added one final bit to her previous thought. "Sometimes you panic and accept one hand while the other is wrapped around your neck." She drew a hand up to the pale scar across her neck. A reminder of the deal she made with Lothar all those months ago. A scar that for whatever reason never seemed to heal.

A woman stopped by their table, breaking the silence that settled after Odessa and asked them what they'd like to eat. She ordered stew. A safe bet at most inns.

Again, that silence filled the air for a while, Odessa tapping her fingers at the edge of the table and looking all around. "So..." She focused her vision back on Rhidian. "...what was life like back home?"

 

[Rhidian]

"Just the roast beef and veggies, please." He gave the specials board a nod, and smiled at the server before she assured them their order will be ready in due time.

No matter how Odessa would frame the question, his answer remained the same. "Mum, Dad, sister worked with the Guard, I did too but training and patrol finished early. I made dinner most nights..." It really was boring, a routine, but unlike something he experienced in the Academy.

"I don't think I can return to home, at least as I used to be. The idea of being a Dreadlord is tempting, but still, it has it's own confines. I suppose that is the curse of living in Vel Anir." A military future would always find it's way to him, as if Kress willed it so.

 

[Odessa]

She refused to believe he lived such a boring life. Work, work, and more work. A child with a routine? Where was the time to play with siblings? Sword fighting with those little wooden training swords. Shooting arrows at sacks full of hay. Even with her total lack of feeling, Odessa still managed to have some pretty decent times with her wild imagination and Leander's need for constant attention. Hell, sometimes they even played rescue the prince(ss). Leander was always the damsel in distress.

"What a sad life." She remarked aloud, not realizing how rude it may have come across. "Why would you want to go home anyway? It sounds dreadfully boring if I'm being honest." Her arms crossed her chest. She wondered for a moment if she might return home...if she were not to die in the coming years as planned. Her sister, Oraya, would probably still be living there- unmarried thanks to Odessa and Leander. Oraya liked her well enough. Always forced her to eat and never stopped trying to find things to make her happy. Odessa liked her as well.

Her father would be the issue. If he didn't find a way to marry her off to the first prick who offered, he would probably send her to be useful in Elbion or some other place where her presence wasn't a bother. Somewhere far, far away. Ignored for eternity. She still loved him...and hated him all the same.

Despite the dark thoughts stirring in her head, she smiled. "I visit home quite often. Father enjoys wasting our time and money on ridiculous family meetings." She shook her head, stifling a little laugh at the memory of the last one. "He has the servants prepare feasts for an army, but there are only ever four or five of us. My sister, brother, father, and Perrine. He is usually well intoxicated before Leander and I even arrive. I don't think he knows we bet on how long it will take for him to ruin the night. Now that I think about it...I think I actually still owe Perri a few gold." She waved the server over once more, this time ordering two pints of whatever they sold the most of. Vixen's velvet, she'd called it. "I can tolerate two days, maybe three with them if Perri is there. Which means, I will probably also find myself unable to return home one day. " Two glasses were placed in front of them and Odessa nudged one his way before raising hers to tap against his.

 

[Rhidian]

"If I went home, it's to show my family how far I have come." He answered in a small voice, glad drinks were on their way.

He sampled it, nodding his head at the mead they were given. It would do alright with his meal at least.

"The Proctor... you glad she is at the Academy now?" From the way Odessa had spoken of the older Dreadlord and Proctor, he thought she had regarded lowly of her instead of somewhat depending on her presence to bear the time spent with her own father. He said nothing else on it, but shrugged.

"I, for one, am glad she knows not to pressure me on results. It's helped me learn my magic too. Other Proctors seem to want to see me obliterate myself and weaponise it... but your cousin introduced me to many other Dreadlords who help. Even Silas has become a great help."

 

[Odessa]

The shift in Rhidian's volume was not lost on Odessa. She raised a brow and lowered it before speaking. "I think they would be proud of you. You are not dead." As if that were a great feat in itself.

"Glad? I would not say that." She pondered his question for a moment while she took a large gulp of the beverage. "I do not wish for anyone to be stuck here when they are infinitely useful elsewhere." Her answer was vague, referring to the fact that Perrine, while a great asset for the injured, was little more than a tool for socialization. Just like she was in their family. Her powers did not have any effect on Odessa so she only used her as someone to talk to when there was quite literally no one else.

"I love her, yes. Just as I love my brothers and sister." She added. "But I don't know if her heart is in serving this place or if she's just using it as. . ." She paused again, sipping and thinking. "A distraction, maybe. I think she would much rather have the life of Oraya, my older sister. She's a beautiful socialite. Sometimes chaperones the events here like Perri. Oraya has a line of rich suitors lining up at our manor's doorstep and although not a single one has resulted in marriage (once again thanks to Leander and Odessa), Oraya has at least had the opportunity to try to find love."

She finished her drink far too fast and beckoned for another.

"Perri is a hopeless romantic, not a dreadlord."

 

[Rhidian]

Perrine definitely sounded like his sister.

"I was thinking on the ride here... that you and Proctor Urahil have similar attributes with magic. Her body heals almost on instinct, making you both unable to be harmed. You can inflict pain." A phantom feeling rose at his thigh, where Odessa had cut a pin prick with a dagger on him the previous day. "So can she..." The Proctor had confided in him early on she had another side to just healing, that she too can hurt someone but chose the path of healing. She had told him how before the Revolution, those with her magic were great healers, but it got them nowhere in the Academy. They were picked off as weak, but Proctor Urahil survived by failing many hearts in order to survive. The safety of the Urahil name meant nothing when she wasn't born of the mainline, like Odessa.

"I don't know her well enough to understand her romantic endeavours, or even want to know... but I can agree with you that being a Dreadlord is no longer a passion of hers. If she was to teach us healing magic, then fuck, I reckon there'd be sparks of life in her." Rhidian, and many other Initiates that fell under her tutelage outside of classes, got to learn many things about fucking up a body without magic.

"My sister actually wanted to attend Elbion, learn magic there to help with her healing... but we could never afford sending her there."

 

[Odessa]

She paused her sip as he spoke, revealing some information that not even Odessa had known about her cousin. Whether she simply had never cared enough to pay attention or if it were a recent development, she was not sure. She set the glass down. "I'd suggest she keep such talents to herself if she knew what was good for her." A look of quiet contemplation passed across her face. "She would not fare well in my shoes. I have made it this far by not having so many...feelings. The academy would eat her alive."

She did agree with his second thought. "I think she might actually like that." Too bad she was too timid to ask for such a position. She resumed drinking. Rhidian would feel the warmth of Odessa's drink hit his stomach.

"Why doesn't she take private lessons from Perrine?" Her question was open and honest. "Or if it means that much to you, tell me what the cost would be to send her. I would love to drain the useless accounts my father has set up for me. I'll have no need for it."

 

[Rhidian]

Rhid ran a hand through his curls, right to the nape of his neck where he let his hand stay for a moment in contemplation. "That would be up to my sister. I cannot make that decision for him, or truly know what it is she wants in life right now." It would be unfair of him to dictate her life when he was gone and detached from her besides the few letters he recieves from his family.

"It takes a few weeks, maybe a month to reach Hetren by horse. Maybe one day we will be lucky in being paired for a mission out that way..." Fuck, he would love to see his family again after so long. This had been the longest he had gone without seeing them, and this talk had only driven the homesickness deeper in him.

"Careful there," He chuckled, watching her drink, "you're basically going to get me drunk before the meal gets here."

 

[Odessa]

"No harm in asking." Odessa pushed a little further, sipped some more. "You seem to be able to sway Perrine into sending you on pointless missions to enjoy yourself already. I'm sure if you told her you wanted to go somewhere she would send you off in a heartbeat." She had never been one to push her cousin for missions of pleasure or leisure, but Perrine always took care of the twins and knew when to send either on a trip to decompress. Such as this current mission aimed to work on Rhidian's 'powers'.

Her cheeks flushed involuntarily when he called her out. "Sorry. I forgot." Soft laughter followed as she set the cup down. The effects of alcohol were much less on her than on others, often taking far longer to act on her body and although she didn't feel the heat of alcohol hitting her empty stomach, she certainly felt the effects. Losing a little coordination. Feeling numb, more in a mental sense rather than physical. Dull. Relaxed.

"After we eat, I'll get us a room to stay in for the night. Then we can wander if you'd like." She glanced out the window towards the front of the building. Snow had begun to fall in big fluffy clumps. "I don't know the village well, but I'm sure we can get spices and ingredients for whatever you plan to make. Oh! I think there is a jeweler and a library here as well. If you don't mind, of course.." She paused. Hiccupped. "And if you're not too drunk."

 

[Rhidian]

Rhidian slowed his own drinking, barely taking sips seeing as Odessa had been drinking without thought. He'd rather not be inebriated any further than the lightweight Dess seemed to be. He shrugged, flashing her a smile.

"No, of course not. We have all day, might as well fill it with exploring the town. Suppose they have a market or store selling goods. They might have spices..." He could only hope they were ones that he had back in Vel Hetren. Some spices grown in Aniria could not compare to those that come from Alliria way or the Empire. Even the Cortosi have a good flavour profile.

An idea brewed in his mind, keeping him quiet for a few moments before he started to piece it together with his voice. "What if... we visit the jeweler. I, uh, brought a book of runes with me to practice more before my next training session with Krixus. There are the nullifying runes in there... we could get you a ring or cuff made? Maybe a silversmith knows runes and can do that for you?" If not, Rhidian was good at carving with his magic...

 

[Odessa]

"I'm sure they'll have more than they've ever used at the Academy." She mused. "Though I couldn't tell you if that is a good thing or a bad thing, I suppose." She giggled quietly to herself once more. There was a slight sway as she tried to sit still. Though she never quite experienced alcohol how the other initiates did, she could still sense that little loss of control. A little dip of her toes into normalcy. She liked it.

She hadn't noticed his brief silence until he started speaking again. Her brow raised, but her expression was pleasant. Happy, even. Perhaps even a little bit confused. "A nullifying ring?" She liked the idea of browsing jewelry, but creating from it was not her forte. "I suppose we could try. But what would I need it for? Is this a part of your training?"

 

[Rhidian]

"Well..." His brows furrowed, trying to figure a way to explain his idea. "I was thinking what if you got to experience feeling today? We are away from the Academy, from your family... all that cannot overwhelm you while you experience what it is like. We can go to the library, pick out a book..." And allow her to feel it all.

"I'll be here for you as long as you need... but I thought it might be cool if I succeed with the runes." And he would cherish the moments of watching her experience the flavours of whatever meal he would cook for her should anyone allow him full use of their kitchen.

 

[Odessa]

"Eh?" Her brow raised, but the look of irritation that was seemingly etched permanently onto her face was nowhere to be found. "What do you mean, Rhidian? I don't...I don't know how...if... that could work." The idea made her stomach turn. She wondered what would happen if it were possible, if she really were to have a set of working nerves in her body like everyone else. If it really were just as simple as a rune that could allow her to feel as everyone else did. The feelings she gave to other people- she could possibly feel them.

Her cheeks turned pink again, the alcohol or her excitement mixed with her nervousness as her thoughts raced.

"Okay..." She agreed. Hesitant, but not a no. If it were possible, Odessa would try it. She reached over and grabbed his hand. Staring for a moment at the patterns on his palm- calluses and tiny scars from growing up human. A hand she might soon be able to feel. "Let's do it." Her grin was absolutely feline with her excitement as she dropped the hand and shoveled food in her mouth the moment it was delivered.

 

[Rhidian]

Odessa was...

Odd.

Rhidian could still feel the lingering touch of her finger tracing the lines of his palm, even as it curled around the knife given to him by the bar maid as the food blew up steam into his face. The girl sat across from him dug into her lunch, and he supposed she needed to fill herself with energy... unless she couldn't tell the difference herself.

Instead of mulling over it and her agreement to his plan, Rhidian cut into his freshly roasted beef, blowing gently on it before biting into it. It wasn't the best, but it was a welcomed flavour at his tongue. "Fuck, a good hot meal." He praised, continuing into their silent consuming of their meals.

A meal ate and done, he followed Odessa to the barkeep and inquired about two rooms.

 

[Odessa]

"Indeed." She agreed, although nothing he said was anything she could sense. She just held on to that little morsel of nervousness...excitement while she shoveled her food into her mouth. Anything to keep her from looking too...much of any emotion. If it failed, she wouldn't want Rhidian to feel poorly about it. She knew it was a possibility. A likelihood, rather.

Her brow raised when Rhidian asked for two rooms and shook her head at the barkeep. She slammed coins down on the counter and ignored the protests. "One room with two beds. Not two rooms with one bed." She insisted and snatched the key from the man before Rhidian could try again. Not that she wanted a repeat of their previous night, but rather she wished for him nearby if something were to go wrong. Protection for either one of them, she supposed.

Soon after, she would drag him out the door and into the market. The ground had grown slick and icy, but she skated along like the movement was a second nature to her. She didn't look back at Rhidian to see if he struggled on the ice, but simply continued on until the jewelry store's entryway was behind her. "Hello!" She greeted an elderly man who paced around to show his latest collections to a woman who looked fabulously wealthy- as much as one could in a village outside the city. "See anything you fancy?" She asked, finding herself drawn to a sapphire that had been cut into the shape of a rectangle but with a softness to the edges before being set in a white gold band. And although she'd never quite cared too much about luxury, she would remind herself to purchase it. She could always find some excuse with her family to wear it to.

 

[Rhidian]

Rhidian shrugged at the innkeeper, following the determined girl out after she had taken their key. The town was small, something he had seen before the route towards Vel Anir grew unpopulated and bare.

He was not surprised Odessa led them to the jewellers, seen across the main square, and inside, filled with pieces much nicer than he expected of a place like this. "Fancy, alright..." He commented, not missing the ring Dess had been eyeing. Kress, would he ever afford something this nice for someone in the future?

"I'm thinking something with a larger band. Enough room for me to draw the runes at least." He broke away from her, looking at the bands on display. He wasn't here for fancy rocks, just something to get the job done.

 

[Odessa]

"Fancy, indeed." She chuckled, giving a nod to the jeweler that she would be taking that sapphire along with whatever Rhidian chose to be suitable for his engravings. "Have you already learned which runes you must draw to nullify magic?" She questioned him as she moved on to another piece- a gaudy ruby in a thick golden band. A gorgeous creation, but a gorgeous creation for someone else. It took ages for her to get through the collection of rare stones before she would rejoin Rhidian.

The bands display was dreadfully simple, all designed to be worn as simple wedding bands. A section on the left featured thinner, more dainty bands for females, and to the right were the wider bands for men's hands. "What about this one?" She picked up a heavy platinum band from the top center. It was likely the most expensive, but if Odessa was going to be stuck with a men's ring, it best be a nice one at the very least. "Or would a gold one be preferred? It is more malleable; it is probably far easier to carve runes into."

 

[Rhidian]

"Runes?" The jeweller wandered over to them both now, smiling. "Promise runes or...?"

"Uh, nullifying runes..." Rhidian chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh! Yes, tricky and detailed, but we can certainly do that. Our engraver is perfect at runes, and nullifying runes are quite popular... a little steep in price, of course." The jeweller informed them both, and Rhidian looked to Odessa who's expression had not changed.

"She says she's good for the money, so price I guess is alright. What are our options?" He was glad not to be the one doing the runes, even though he had packed the book he borrowed from the library with him, it was his writing that still needed work. A wrong stroke and it could be disastrous.

"Wonderful! And well, you can take your pick! The smaller the band, the less magic going into the runes. Some like to keep their magic a little hidden, a little more controlled per se. Is that what we are after here?"

 

[Odessa]

Odessa giggled, noticing the blush on Rhidian's cheeks when the jeweler mentioned promise runes. "In his dreams." She grinned, her comment quiet and directed at Rhidian.

Despite her time at the academy, she'd never quite cared for runes. Never found a use for them until now, she supposed. And it seemed there were very few people who actually knew how to do them properly. Had she asked her cousin for guidance, she would probably have leveled the entirety of Vel Anir on accident. It was a fortunate blessing that the jeweler had his own engraver of whom he'd trusted.

She gave the man a nod when Rhidian confirmed her payment.

"As potent as you can make it on the band." She picked a thicker one. Control was not the issue, she wanted it strong. "I want the nullification to be as strong as possible. No chance for anything to slip by. Is that possible?" She finished, and plucked the band off the display. A thicker one in a size that still sat comfortably on her slender finger. Perfect.

The jeweler nodded, "Of course he can." Taking the ring from Odessa along with the coin pouch she handed to him, a generous overpayment for what he was giving her.

 

[Rhidian]

The jeweller stepped away to organise their purchase, and came back to show them two seats they could use while waiting.

Rhidian gestured for Odessa to walk first, following behind her and sighing once he sat in a chair. "What are you thinking? Curious as to what will wait for you once you get to feel?"

It certainly would not be an easy feat to weather for the first time, and Rhidian already felt protective and anticipating this for her. She had no one else close enough to do this with her, and he could only wonder what the cousin Proctor would say if she knew. This indeed was not on the cards, but Rhidian was curious to see what it would look like for someone to experience for the first time, instead of himself feeling whatever it was Odessa should feel.

 

[Odessa]

Odessa followed Rhidian's gesture and sat where the jeweler pointed. "Curious? I think that may be an understatement." Her smile could not conceal her excitement, nor her nervousness. "I don't know how to feel!" She found herself chuckling at the statement, which was true in two ways. "I don't want to put it on here, though. I want to wait until we are back at the inn."

The nervousness surpassed the excitement as minutes grew longer and the reality was setting in. She wondered what it would be if things went poorly. If having the ability to feel was not all it was cracked up to be. What if she hated the sensations? What if she hurt Rhidian's feelings if it was horrible? What if it did nothing at all and she was truly and completely a lost cause?

She hadn't realized her silence, thoughts flooding her head for far too long. She had to wonder if Rhidian had tried to speak with her while she panicked in her own brain. But looking at his face, it seemed he was content in the silence the shared until the jeweler re-emerged with a box containing the inscribed ring. "Be careful." Was all he offered in his goodbye, a wary warning to the pair of them as he parted ways.

Odessa took the box, pinching it cautiously between her index finger and thumb. The skies already seemed to settle with the afternoon sun turning to an evening sky. Kress, had it taken that long for the runes? She wondered how long she'd been talking herself silly in her head. "Right..." She stared at the thing in her hand, like it were some horrible bug she was holding onto. "Shall we stop and pick up ingredients?" Stores would be closing soon, but Odessa was not ready.

She would never be ready, never be able to put that ring on her own shaking finger unless Rhidian was willing to force it on.

 

[Rhidian]

Rhidian shrugged, hand going to hover at her back to steer her out the shop. "I think that may be wise. Market place was near the inn at least." He grinned. It was clear she was unsure of the nullifier, but there was no rushing into this.

"Right, I think it'd be silly to ask if you prefer chicken, beef, or pork seeing as you said you don't really taste things..." But he would like her to actually try his cooking...

Oh well, at least he can show off preparing and cooking.

"We can keep it simple... maybe a hearty soup?"

 

[Odessa]

She tried to smile, but it was obvious that she was nervous. It was almost strange to see such a human emotion cross Odessa's face. At least one that wasn't some sort of variation on anger.

The nervousness seemed to temporarily subside when he shifted the conversation to her lack of taste. "A hearty soup sounds...nice?" She shrugged, an apologetic look on her face as her brows lifted and she chuckled. "You know I do feel a bit bad. You are offering me too much and I cannot repay you. I don't know runes that could gift you new experiences and I certainly cannot cook you a dish passed down by my family."

All she could give him was coin, but that did not feel good enough for what he could give her. She frowned, entering the marketplace.

Shopping had been...more involved than Odessa had thought. Rhidian took his time, explaining the ingredients he had placed in the basket- vegetables, meat, and a whole handful of various herbs. None of which made any difference to Odessa, she found, when he had her smell the freshness or taste a bit as he did to assess the flavor. Securing a place to prepare this all had been quite a bit easier than the shopping. A sack of coins and the owner had given them access to the old servants room in lieu of the room she had previously paid for.

This room, more of a flat, contained a small kitchen with an old wooden table and two chairs and a bedroom that was half the size of the one they had previously paid for. The groceries had been spread out and Rhidian was already preparing the meal while Odessa sat at the table, opening and closing the little box. She concluded that she would not be able to put it on. Something in her screamed not to.

She stared at it and looked over to Rhidian. "I don't think I can put it on. Not by myself."