Private Tales Legends are not born, they are Made

[Fraeya]

Maybe it was the physical changes to her body. Everything that had happened recently. Finding out about Lexi and Cassian. Feeling like she'd lost them as soon as she'd found them. The events that Lorcan's forced dance at the ball had set into motion. Her own choices that had brought her here.

The feeling like she'd never truly belong anywhere.

As the leylines spit them out on the western edge, she spun around - eyes on Lorcan. Attention on Lorcan. Fists clenched at her sides. Fury sparking in her gaze. Here she was again, at his mercy. Just like that day in court - at the ball.

And she hated it. Always at their mercy. And now she was one of them.

And if she told the truth now, what? He'd go back on his promise. He'd leave her here and never look back. Just like he'd never looked back after the events of the ball. A sharp inhale through her nose, a silent shake of her head at Maeve as she suddenly just wanted to sit down and cry out the ocean lodged in her throat. She turned quickly from them both, eyes pinching closed.

 

[Lorcán]

"N--" The leylines took them and he growled irritably as they spit them back out again. His wings ruffled and he huffed his mop of black hair back out of his darkening eyes. "No." he continued firmly, his gaze set on Fraeya as she insisted on looking at him that way.

He'd known it had been a fucking bad idea bringing her here. Endora was his haven, where he could leave that side of him behind and get away from Midir and all the pain that came with being around him. He glanced out toward the illusion of razor sharp rocks and raging seas, his fist clenched as he wanted so badly to rescind his agreement to take her there for fear she'd taint it with her grudges.

Lorcan squeezed at the back of his neck as tendrils of dark shadows swirled around his form. He'd forgotten all about Maeve's window to his emotions, but as much as there was anger and fear, there was no small amount of shame and regret.

"I will apologise to you now, Fraeya - and I will explain myself. After that it is your choice whether you choose to forgive my past indiscretions, but let it be done with. Firstly, you should be aware that you don't know me, whether you believe that you do or not. Barely anyone in this court fucking does - they presume to know me, based on who I am and who my father is, based on orders that I carried out. Those who do know me have chosen to live here." he pointed out to sea.

"Yes, I behaved horribly and I apologise that I dragged you into it, I was perpetually drunk and felt like causing a scene - and I fucking hated that you were allowed to swan around in my court when Anja wasn't. Yes, I meant to draw my father's attention to you, I meant to cause rift between him and Delune if I could, because I didn't - fucking - care. I didn't care about him, or you, or myself.. When you've had four hundred years of pain at his hand, when he's beaten and belittled you, almost killed you, when he's taken everything you love and turned it to fucking ash. Then you can say you understand me, but you never will, because luckily, you're not me."

"I shouldn't have played games with you. I was bitter, and you didn't deserve it. I shouldn't have done a lot of things, but I did." he frowned. "But I am fucking trying to piece together the life that I want for myself and those that I love - and I will absolutely not allow anyone to fuck that up. Come to Endora, see for yourself, let me try to make up for whatever suffering I've caused you - but don't let this be another of my mistakes." he huffed.

 

[Fraeya]

“You’re worried I’ll be another one of your mistakes?” Voice ripped through her throat as raw tears freely spilled down her cheeks as she spun around. “Maybe I don’t know you, Lorcan, but don’t claim to know me. I wasn’t swanning around, I was just trying to survive. I was taken as a babe and raised by cruel fae until Delun came along.”

“Do you understand what that meant? No food for days. Forced into debt upon debt upon debt and bargains upon bargains just to fucking live. Given sharp objects as toys to play with just for their amusement. Given impossible tasks to complete with painful consequences when I failed. Left to wander the shores of kelpie homes when I was barely five years old! Once, a fae broke my arm and leg for their own amusement because they wanted to see if the stories were true about how weak humans were. I was seven!”

The endless salty sea continued to pour down her face. Her eyes were two broken windows and her throat kept swallowing shattered glass. She’d never cried before. Not like this. And never in front of any fae. Because prey weren’t allowed to show weakness in front of predators. She’d learned that before she could walk.

“I had no one, beyond Delun. And for that, I am grateful. And I even found family recently but one of them looked at me with distrust and that was before this change. I don’t fit anywhere. I have no one. I thought being fae might change that.”

A sobbing, strangled laugh. A hand lifted to wipe away her tears, anger turning into grief. If Maeve hadn’t come along right then. If she hadn’t met her. They didn’t know what she’d been about to do. What she’d been seriously considering.

Another swipe at her face. “I’ve made my own mistakes, Lorcan. I don’t…blame you for everything. Maybe not even any of it. I’m just…drowning and trying to build my own life raft that ended up being made of concrete blocks. Now, I’m just trying to survive.”

This was the most broken and exposed she’d ever felt. Ever been. Ever slipped up and let someone see. And it was ironic that it was in front of the Prince of Autumn and someone she’d just met, who, quite possibly, had saved Fraeya’s life.

 

[Maeve]

Did they not see how similar they were? The snippets they shared in the heart wrenching moment made it obvious they believed themselves to be stood on opposite sides of a vast chasm. Neither could possibly understand the other. Yet, to Maeve, all she could see were two very hurt people. Two people who had felt lost in this world and who now, saw a small shimmering light they could strive towards. A purpose. A piece of hope.

A way to heal.

A part of her heart bruised with guilt but another was glad she had poked the sore. After all, sometimes the poison had to be cut away in order for the rest to heal.

Not letting go of Lorcan's hand she still stepped forward and gently cupped Fraeya's cheek, wiping away her tears with the smooth bud of her thumb.

"Endora isn't about survival, Fraeya, it's about living."

 

[Lorcán]

His dark, golden eyes widened slightly at her reaction, at the tears. His hand squeezed unintentionally at Maeve's, a muscle feathering in his jaw as he stared back at the hysterical female. The writhing shadow seeped slowly back under his skin as he listened to her, and the knowledge that he had only added to her suffering in his selfishness, solidified that extra layer of guilt.

For once he was stunned to silence, unsure of what to say for fear of making things worse. He didn't particularly enjoy being yelled at by vulnerable females, particularly not when there were tears involved. His muscles were rigid with tension as he felt Maeve move. She was so fucking gentle in a way he could never be, in a way that someone supposed to lead and rule couldn't ever be, but at least he wasn't his father.

The Prince drew a deep breath and let it tumble free with a roll of his shoulders, his face downcast and his eyes shifting awkwardly to Freya's face. "I'm sorry, Fraeya.." he rumbled quietly. He could see how her life in this realm, amongst his people had taken its toll. They'd both been victim to the cruelty of the Fae, it had taken its toll on him but at least he wasn't as fragile as a mortal.

They were both broken, the only difference was that he had his brothers, he had Maeve, and he had it not been for each of them dragging him out of whatever states he'd been in over the years, he'd likely not be stood where he was.

"If you can endure me carrying you for a minute or so... I'm sure you'll fit in just fine." he frowned, and offered his hand.

"Or.. I can always send one of my brothers.."

 

[Fraeya]

Fraeya flinched at Maeve's initial touch. A gentle touch more foreign than a genuine smile from the Erlking. She gulped, broken and vulnerable and managed to give Maeve a small nod. Hesitant hand lifted, fingers brushing over Maeve's for a second before she broke the contact and dropped her own hand, head turning about to look out across the water.

At what she saw as stormy and clouded skies and sharp rocks.

She really wanted to believe in Endora. Because if there was nothing else, she hoped she was dropped on those rocks. Another swallow and swipe at her eyes that wouldn't stop leaking years of carefully hidden and pushed down emotions. It was the sincerity in Lorcan's apology that tore her eyes away from darker thoughts and back to his face.

A glance at Maeve and back again to the Autumn Prince.

Beyond the feelings of moritication that should be plaguing her about both of them seeing her like this.

"I...I know you're strong but you can carry all three of us?" Balfour was there, too. She was already nervous about flying and...she swallowed. And his brothers?

Sidereal was only by a violent reputation. Raphael was a shadowed face where her ears could still hear the shrilling screams of those left with him in the darkness. A part of her still wasn't convinced living was worth it. That Endora was real. So what did it matter anymore?

Eyes flickered to the ground wondering if she could stay there and curl up into a ball until the seasons claimed her.

 

[Lorcán]

His wings were strong enough, but her discomfort was more than obvious. He dropped his hand with a sigh and nodded.. "You're right.." he cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the ground as fell quiet.

The expression on his face shifted, as though there was a conversation going on in his mind, because there was. A three-way conversation between he and his brothers to be precise.His brows dipped, his eyes rolled, his lips twitched and he huffed to himself as he squeezed at the back of his neck with a quiet laugh only to offer the two females a sheepish look..

"Raph will be here in a moment.."

 

[Maeve]

"Come on Balfour," Maeve patted her chest and held out her arms. The Cù Sìth was the size of a small sledge dog at only a few weeks old and most certainly didn't fit into her arms, but he leapt up anyway trusting her to catch him. She nuzzled her nose into the thick ruff of his fur and laughed when he licked her cheek. As the rough tongue continued to assault her she glanced over at Fraeya's nervous expression.

"Raph is a sweetheart, don't let him fool you. Honestly, when I was still recovering he--"

 

[Raphael]

A throat cleared from behind Maeve, causing the redhead to turn abruptly. The fact Balfour didn't so much as growl in his direction was enough sign there was no threat but she still went beetroot.

"I believe that was a private moment, My Lady," he quirked a brow which made the redhead go a deeper shade of scarlet and crack a smile. Neatly he folded his wings close to his back and turned his amber eyes instead to Fraeya. Lorcan had briefly mentioned she had changed and that his father was the reason behind it, but she still looked the same as the last time he had seen her. Albeit, a bit more beaten.

"Please don't throw up, that's all I ask," he jested in a solemn tone and stepped forward to pick her up.

 

[Fraeya]

Eyes tore from the ground at the sudden new voice. How had he...he'd just appeared. The ocean coming from her eyes was slowing. But she was still red-faced and sniffling more than if she had a cold. A fluid step back against the rocky-shore, her heel nearly hitting water as Raph approached. A nervous twitch of her fingers to smooth blonde-hair behind a pointed ear tip. One finger trembling as it lingered along the still-foreign shape.

"Wait," she pleaded, unable to relate to his humor or even recognize it.

Eyes darted over his shoulder and wings to Maeve. The carefree expression on her face. Even Balfour wasn't nervous. How much Lorcan was trying. His sincerity. Back to the ground at her feet.

And if Fraeya was still truly struggling with trying to find reasons to keep on breathing, what did it matter if she let this spymaster carry her up into one of her greatest fears? If she fell, at least it would be a quick end.

And maybe a part too big to admit, still hoped she would fall.

"Okay," she said despondently. And if he picked her up, she would make no move to hang onto him.

 

[Lorcán]

Lorcan ruffled his fingers through the pup's mess of fur atop his head as Maeve spoke, his brows rising as she described Raph as.... "A sweetheart?" the autumn Prince snorted as he turned to his brother with a grin of amusement.

"Hello, sweetie.." he winked and patted the puca hard on the shoulder. He turned to Fraeya with a light nod. "Fraeya is our guest, and welcome to stay on the island for as long as she likes. I'm sure you'll make her flight there as comfortable as possible.." he dipped his chin, and moved to sweep Maeve into his arms along with the Cù Sìth..

"Shall we?" he asked, his large, raven wings sprouting from thick shadow and lifting them into the air in a single beat.

 

[Raphael]

Raphael shot his brother a look that could flay the flesh from bone if that had been his gift. Fortunately for the Autumn Prince it was one of the few skills when it came to the infliction of pain that the shadowy puca did not possess, nor would he ever truly use them on him. Raphael loved few in this world but Lorcan ranked high amongst the pitifully low number of people he cared for.

Turning back to Fraeya he nearly flinched at the sight of her fear. The shadowy creature loomed over her, its long needle-point talons stroking through her hair. It turned its eyeless face towards him and opened its maw into a mocking smile that made his insides turn cold. Forcing himself not to look on it he turned his eyes instead to Fraeya's and gently touched her arm.

"I won't drop you," he promised with sincerity and something more. For whilst Raphael was known to be able to increase a mans fear tenfold, the little known fact about him was that he could also reduce it with his magicks. Sweeping her into his arms he waited a moment for her to assure herself of how strong and steady, how unlikely it was that she would fall whilst he held her, his felt before taking them into the air after Lorcan.

 

[Maeve]

Maeve wondered if she would ever get tired of the feeling of flying.

Once she had been like Fraeya. Her greatest fear had been that Lorcan would drop her out of spite or to get some sick pleasure out of seeing her so scared. But that had been a fear of a fae she had not known, whom she had run from before she had given herself the chance to know. She still cursed herself for losing even those precious years despite the eternity which stretched ahead of them.

She sighed once they were over the narrow sea that separated the island from the rest of the Autumn Court and slipped through the misty veil. Endora winked into existence. Colourful trees in their permanent state of pink bloom decorated hillsides and riversides. Waterfalls with pretty rainbows dancing over their surfaces created impressive backdrops to small hamlets beginning to take shape on the outer edges of the island. Then, at the heart of the island like a pearl nestled in an oyster rose the main city.

 

[Fraeya]

Another slight flinch as Raphael touched her arm. But she didn't resist as he picked her up. She didn't hang on either. The floodgate of emotions she'd finally released had left her on a turbulent sea with no buoy. She felt weightless, overwhelmed, lost, and dragged under.

Eyes closed and remained closed as they took off. Her newly-minted sensitive ears picking up the sound balfour made. The small chatter between Maeve and Lorcán. And the loud and close heartbeat of the spymaster. And even when she felt the shift in mists on her skin. The shift in the very air itself, she still didn't open her eyes.

And it wasn't because of fear. It was weariness. And a hole she'd been trying not to fall into for a long time that had finally claimed her. And she assumed this place would be no better. She'd be seen as an outcast. Something that didn't belong. Something that shouldn't exist.

And even as she felt the shift of wings and a landing, she'd make a request to Raphael and the party at large.

"Is there a place I can go and rest for awhile?"

Eyes still closed, she just wanted some time alone in a place where she felt safe enough to close the door and turn out the lights and finally say goodbye to who she used to be. Funny to mourn becoming the thing she'd always loved and hated.

 

[Lorcán]

Lorcan's cheeks dimpled as the smile he tried to contain broke across his face. He would never tire of the sight of it, their home, nor the comfort of the female he currently cradled in his arms as he carried her there.

The sweet aroma of fruits and flora greeted them as they alighted on the courtyard of the Orchard, the home Lorcan now shared with Maeve. He set down his quarry delicately and pressed a firm kiss to her head before releasing her from his hold and turning to Fraeya with a dip of his chin.

"Maeve can show you to our guest quarters.. You'll have all the privacy you want there, and whatever you need can be brought to you." he offered a tight smile and arched a brow at Maeve. She was the only one that Fraeya had felt comfortable with, so he felt it only prudent that she be the one to show her..

"You're safe here." he added as he turned back to the blonde.. "I promise that."

His wings ruffled and dissipated into black smoke as he walked to Raph, a hand slapping down on his shoulder as he gave a brotherly squeeze. "In the meantime, we have much to discuss." he murmured.

 

[Maeve]

Balfour leapt from her arms a few seconds before Lorcan landed making Maeve's heart skip a beat in a moment of panic. When her mate let her go she knelt to check the pup all over but all he did was jump to put his paws on her shoulders and lick her face.

"Don't do that again," she murmured against his fur and glanced up when Fraeya and Raphael came to land a few moments after. She had been about to rush into her spiel about the gardens of which she was so proud when the other girl screwed her eyes shut. She cast a questioning glance to Raphael who merely shook his head; no she was not sick from flying.

"Of course, yes I'll show you," she stepped forward to take the other woman's arm in hers, casting a worried glance to the two men, before leading Fraeya off to the west.

"I understand, it's a lot to take in," Maeve spoke softly when they were together. "But you really are safe here, and if you need me I'm only a few doors down," a fae opened the door to the guest suite with a small bow.

 

[Raphael]

"Good day, Lady Fraeya, Princess," he murmured as the two women passed and watched them go for half a second, pondering over what he had felt when he had carried the young girl here. Then, shaking himself, he turned back to Lorcan with a wary smile.

"If you went to see your father, I'm not sure I want to know."

 

[Fraeya]

Green eyes like a Summerfield after an afternoon rain storm cracked open as she was setback to her feet. A cautious glance around. but she was too deep in her thoughts too distant to see the place as it was. Beautiful. And to rest assured in Lorcan’s promise. And to hear the title that the spy master used in front of her name. Something that no other Faye had called her before.

Fraeya was grateful when Maeve took her arm. Otherwise she probably wouldn’t have been able to move from the spot. Weariness on her shoulders like a crushing weight. Numbed footsteps moved her forward a cautious glance to the fae that open the door for them. Hesitant to see if she would be met with a look of disgust and distrust.

But the fae only bowed with respect. Fraeya assumed it was because she was with this new friend. It would only be a matter of time before she was met with the same glances as she found on the mainland of the Autumn Court. She didn't let go of Maeve's arm as she paused on the threshold of the guestroom. She knew she should show her thanks to Maeve. Should've relayed her gratitude to Lorcan. Even to Raphael. She should've done a lot of things.

But with the brave face she'd mustered since the transformation. Since being dropped into the pack by Delun. Since struggling to find her way and survive with the others. She had no energy left.

Except to gently squeeze Maeve's hand in her own as she unwrapped her arm from the redhead's A step into the room before she closed the door gently behind her and let herself believe that for once in all her years, she was truly safe. Enrobing the room against the offending, cheery light outside, she crawled into the bed, caccooning herself in more darkness beneath the quilts. A quiet, sobbing laugh at how soft everything was before she cried some more until she finally drifted off to sleep.

She stayed like that for the next three days. Refusing any food. Not answering any knocks on the door. However, some kind soul left a water glass that was always filled on the bedside table. It wasn't until the fourth day that her door was barged open, curtains flung open to let light back into the musty room.

 

[Maeve]

"Princess, maybe we should--"

"Nope!"

BOOM went the doors as they flew open and Maeve glided into the room making straight for the glass doors Fraeya had all but bolted the curtains to. Shoving the heavy drapes aside light spilled into the room onto the rumpled heap Maeve presumed was Fraeya underneath the covers. For good measure she also opened the glass doors to let in some air to the stuffy room.

"If I leave her to mope any longer Ravenna, she'll become a part of the bed. Besides, Lorcan is doing boring maintenance on the other side of the island and I am bored," with her final word she flopped down onto the large bed and began to slowly peel back the sheets.

"Come on Fraeya, what do you say? Shopping? This amazing little chocolatier just moved in and opened up his shop...." she sing-song bribed.

 

[Fraeya]

A groan left her lips. Eyes squinted at the sudden onslaught of offensive light. A part of her hoped they'd just forget about her and let her meet her end in this very soft bed. A wince. And Maeve's voice seemed extra loud since she hadn't really heard another soul for the past few days.

"Ravenna," her voice croaked out. "I thought I could count on you," a mutter with no bite behind the words. Fraeya tried to wrestle the sheets back from Maeve. "But I'm tired," she intoned. And she looked like a mess. And she was still worried about what this place was really like. And getting out of bed meant she'd have to face others.

 

[Maeve]

"Don't blame Ravenna," Maeve clicked her tongue when she noted how the puca female ducked her head and blushed. "It was all my doing. And, if I can go shopping a few days after being tortured in the Summer Court dungeon, you can most certainly can," before the other woman could utter some kind of come back Maeve all but dragged the girl by the ankles out of the blanket fort she had made for herself.

"But first, you need a bath. You stink," she scrunched up her nose and guided the woman to the adjoining bathroom by the shoulders. Two smaller fae who looked as though their bodies were made from water paused in the act of filling the bath, then both bowed upon seeing Maeve and Fraeya enter the room.

"It is nearly ready Princess," one fae murmured.

"Thank you Clementine, I can take it from here," the two serving women curtseyed and then vanished into puddles on the floor which slowly vanished through the tiles on the floor. "Come on, get undressed. I'll do your hair."

 

[Fraeya]

She did stink.

But that didn't stop a grumble minus the bite from leaving her lips as she was practically dragged from the safety of her bed and to the bathroom. For a moment, the two fae in the bathroom reminded her of the fae that had served herself and Midir back at his winter home in Dawn. When she was still human.

A swallow.

"Wait," she turned to Maeve. If anyone could relate to torture, it was a girl who'd grown up as a human changeling in a court of fae. Certainly before she'd been placed under the care of Delun. And even then, things had never been safe.

"What happened to you...summer court dungeons?" A shiver went down her spine. Delun had always warned her away from Summer Court lands for good reason. Fraeya had, of course, gone there before. She'd tried to find a way to help the changelings trapped there but hadn't made as much progress as she'd wanted.

And Fraeya wasn't shy with her time among fae. Even though they'd been cruel about her body and how different it was with being human. So, she didn't hesitate as she began to undress in front of the redhead. "You know what's strange?" She said quietly, hands rubbing over the arm that had been broken. A few spots on her back that were all smooth. "The changing made all my scars disappear. Erased."

A huge part of her history. Lost and gone.

Sinking down into the deliciously warm waters of the tub, her eyes found Maeve's. And honestly, if the princess was actually able to untangle her hair, that was her true superpower.

 

[Maeve]

Maeve fetched a comb from the marble vanity and then returned to perch on the edge of the bath. Ravenna was still learning the sad truth her new Princess was no Lady but a warrior who much preferred the cut of trousers to a dress, especially those made of animal skin the type of which had been the custom back home. It was in such an outfit she was dressed down; wide legged trousers cinched in at the waist and a slashed top that left her midriff exposed and showed the inky spirals of the star constellations spread over every inch of her body.

With tender care she began to detangle Fraeya's mop.

"I was... tricked. By a group of people I was travelling with. They sold me to Summer who had somehow heard Lorcan was interested in me. They thought I knew things about the Autumn Court, about the Lists and the defences. I didn't know anything of course. I grew up on an island far away from the courts and their politics," she shook her head and gently separated one smooth bit of hair from the rest of the tangles then started on the next section.

"As for marks well... all of these appeared when I transformed, and now I have iron scars. I'm told they might take decades to fade because I'm... new."

 

[Fraeya]

It could've been Fraeya. Summer could've gotten their hands on her. Especially now with her magic being...thoughts trailed off as she found herself angered by what they'd done to Maeve. Even as much of a newfound friend as she was.

Green eyes flickered down to the bubbly-suds at the top of the water's surface.

"You gained marks for your transformation whereas mine were taken away," a quiet remark. A swish of her hand through the bubbles. "What about where you came from...would they still accept you for how you are now?"

Fraeya knew her brother and his lover never would. She was as estranged to them as when they'd first met. She hadn't been lying when she'd broken down a few days ago and made the claim of being alone.

 

[Maeve]

"No," Maeve said sadly and set aside another tangle freed lock. She had made good progress, with only half of Fraeya's unruly mane to go. She lathered the next piece in thick coconut oil and began to pick away at each knot. "The fae were Gods to my people, beings to be feared and worshipped. If I ever went home... my family wouldn't see their daughter. They would see another fae," and that made her stomach turn. They would flinch away from her touch, be unable to look her in the eye, and whisper quiet prayers to protect their home from her even as they obediently served.

"But just because that family is... gone that doesn't mean I'm without family now. I have Lorcan, Raphael, Sid, Ravenna," she smiled. "Family isn't always blood Fraeya."