Private Tales Have you heard there's a rumour in Alliria?

[Gawyn]

If there was ever a moment...

His friends voice, tied to a memory long ago, floated at the back of his mind making him want to smile. He was as nervous now as he had been back then, when Tobias had convinced him to have his first kiss. He was so sure Thea wouldn't pull away or spurn him but the little worm of doubt still niggled there. Still made him hesitate. He couldn't - wouldn't - lose her with some foolish notion he had gotten into his head.

Reluctantly, he let his hand drop from her cheek to brush down her arm instead. He seemed incapable of not touching her now he had started.

"Shall we go get that cake before Ilyena eats it all?"

 

[Althea]

Gods she wished he'd kissed her then. She glanced at his lips with the sudden notion of making the move herself, but her worm of doubt was more of a python coiling its way around her chest and making it damned hard to breathe. She was nowhere near as sure that he wouldn't pull away, not after feeling the doubt for herself. Not to mention her crushing lack of confidence in herself and the cold thought that drifted across her mind once again..

What would he want with me?

A breath trembled out as he dropped his hand from her cheek, a fresh bloom of goosebumps following in the wake of his hand as it brushed her arm. Her glassy eyes warmed as he mentioned Ilyena and she nodded with a quiet laugh.

"Yes I think we should..." she smiled, her hand snaking through the crook of his arm as she turned to walk beside him.

 

[Gawyn]

The sounds of children playing and the low murmur of adult voices enjoying a reprieve grew louder and louder as they made their way down the corridor. Gawyn led the way back to the large living area Thea had met Aodhan and Ilyena in but this time, rather than a large almost empty feeling white room, it was filled with colour. Balloons all different shades of the rainbow were on the ceiling causing coloured dots to dance across the floor. Tables had been brought in and were piled high with all kinds of treats and drinks. The large glass doors had been thrown upon onto the gardens beyond connecting the outside with the in and large mached animals ranging from lions to elephants were randomly dotted around the area.

Children were rare amongst the Avariel but Ilyena was not the only small one to be running about. In total there were five ranging from the ages of two to ten.

Gawyn snuck them both a slice of cake and passed one over to her.

"I actually baked this myself," he grinned with pride.

 

[Althea]

Thea had never seen anything quite like this before. Nor had she expected to see as many children. She beamed and chuckled quietly as she watched then run around after one another. As an empath, children were often a comfort to be around, and their joy and excitement was so pure it could blot out even the most negative of emotions around them, and it sent a warm tingle shuddering across her shoulders.

She took the cake and her brows rose in genuine surprise at Gawyn's revelation. "I.. didn't have you pinned as a baker, General.." she grinned at him. She didn't really have him pinned as a lot of things, and yet he continued to surprise her. He was more sensitive than most males in his position would be. How he was when she'd been in the infirmary, how he was with Ilyena, how he'd saved those birds and, well now she could only imagine him in a frilly apron and covered in flour..

She blurted out a laugh at the thought and shook her head before taking a small bite. Thea adored sweet things, and a taste of something sweet was most often followed by an involuntary groan of approval, just as his cake was... "Full of surprises.." she muffled with a sigh, and took another bite, caring not even a little that there was already frosting on her nose.

 

[Gawyn]

Gawyn allowed himself the smile of pride to hear her make those noises over something he had made. It stirred a desire within him to coax other noises from her, with his hands, his lips... He slammed the lid to that emotion shut when he noticed Aodhan glanced over at him with raised eyebrows and he quietly cursed to himself. There were times he forgot Thea was like his friend and he sent a silent prayer to the Goddess that she hadn't sensed that tiny flicker of something deeper.

Clearing his throat he picked up a napkin and with tender care not to touch her skin wiped the frosting from her nose.

"What's your favourite flavour? Perhaps I can be persuaded to make another for your birthday..."

 

[Althea]

Luckily, she had learned how to keep her senses restrained, and she'd already made the mistake of interfering into Gawyn's emotions. There was little she could do to avoid the warmth and tingling excitement that radiated from the hyperactive avariel children surrounding them, but nobody had to be an empath to sense that.

She was enjoying the cake when she heard Gawyn curse, however, and she looked up at him with a 'hm?' in question.

"Oh.." she laughed under her breath and licked the crumbs from her lips as he took care of the frosting.. "Thank you." she smirked coolly in attempt to pretend she wasn't dying of shame.

"Hm, my favourite flavour is sweet.." she shrugged. "But I don't celebrate birthdays, so feel free just to make it a monthly type thing.." she grinned and licked the last of the frosting from her fingertips, trying not to meet his gaze as she did so.

She felt the tug of curiosity and caught the sour scent of scrutiny as a group nearby spoke about her, drawing her gaze toward them and seeing them studying her. She couldn't hear what they were saying, nor could she tell, either way she offered a small smile and looked up at Gawyn, trying to hide her discomfort.

"I'm keeping you from your other guests.. I promise not to get into any trouble or loot your home if you leave me alone." she mused with a playful twist of her lips before urging him to go mingle with a wave of her hand..

 

[Gawyn]

Why didn't she celebrate birthdays, he wondered curiously as he watched her finish off the slice of cake. Sweet was not a hard flavour to make but he found the enigma a challenge. Gawyn was no professional baker and what he could do had been learnt from the trial and error of many a child's birthday but he found that he would quite enjoy learning new recipes to discover her ultimate favourite flavour.

"Hm?" He'd been plotting his first attempt when she pointed out the others in the room looking their way. As soon as his eyes met with any of those fixating on Thea they quickly looked away or scattered entirely, feigning the need to get food or be outside. "We don't get many new people here, they're just curious who you are," he tried to reassure her, his double wings brushing across her back in a comforting manner.

"But I best go do the rounds and thank people for Ilyena's gifts, I'll be right back."

 

[Althea]

"I know.." she nodded, but it had never been an easy thing to forget how her own people had looked at her once before, and hiding away had always felt like a far better option. His wings against her caused her cheeks to burn, and she was quite certain she was subject to the bitter spike of jealousy here and there. The memory of that touch would linger even after he'd left her side, and likely far longer still..

Thea wandered, offering shy smiles to those who caught her pale gaze, and she paused at the 'adult' refreshment table, her hand hovering over a cup of wine before she thought better and lifted a cup of fruit juice from the children's table instead. She found herself a seat in the corner in which to sip it. It was difficult to shut everything down when she felt vulnerable, and being in a room full of people took far more mental energy than she had at the moment to quiet it completely. It was like noise, but wasn't. It was feelings, as though they were her own, but weren't, and at times it was difficult to separate them from those that belonged to her.

There was a small spike of panic she was certain was her own and she stood, stepping out of the door and into one of the hallways where the noise, at least, was thinner. She wandered until she found the foot of the stairs and sat with a smile as she picked up a pretty, winged doll, no doubt of Ilyena's.

"Hello... Don't like parties much either, hm?... Mh-hm, thought as much." she nodded sagely, stroking her fingertips over the doll's wings..

 

[Gawyn]

"I don't particularly," Aodhan replied solemnly. "But, children's ones I mind less."

The avariel with wings that appeared to be made of crushed diamonds was today sporting streaks of pink and purple paint which matched the higgledy-piggledy assortment of hearts and stars that had been painted onto half of his face. Surprisingly, it suited the sharp lines of his profile which often made him look like a beautiful statue carved from marble. It made him more... human.

With a careful sweep of his wings he sat down, folding them in at tightly to his back as possible for an Avariel.

"The emotions are a lot easier to handle here."

 

[Althea]

Thea failed miserably at not flinching in fright at Aodhan's voice, her head whipping to the avariel as she drew in a sharp breath and let it out in a breath of a laugh. Of course he found her talking to dolls, and of course her cheeks heated furiously that he'd have absolutely no problem in reading her current embarrassment.

Her lips twisted in wry amusement as she took in the painted sight of him.. "I can tell." she answered. He certainly was far less intimidating this way, but no less beautiful. Her gaze swept across his wings as they tucked in, and she shifted as he sat down..

"Hm.." she gave a stiff nod and dropped her gaze. "I find my own to be much too loud and complex at the moment to handle much more.." she admitted with a dry chuckle. "It is.. an adjustment, to be amongst my own kind again." she frowned, unsure why she had decided it appropriate to open those thoughts to him here, now.

"I'm sorry... I, wanted to be here for Ilyena. I just needed a few minutes to breathe.. And, to talk to dolls, apparently." she smiled and shook her head.

 

[Gawyn]

"You don't need to explain it to me Thea," Aodhan said and turned to her with a small smile. His eyes looked like tiny diamonds catching the light refracting subtle shades of blue, green, pinks and purples. "From what Gawyn has told me, I've got a few centuries on you when it comes to the tortures of empathy," he glanced back out over the crowd gathered. Like her, he didn't seem to focus on the adults but rather the children, a similar sense of peace settling over him.

"Ilyena likes your company very much, it would be... wonderful if you were to visit some more to see her. Not many adults have the patience for children. Even Gawyn struggles at time with his other duties."

 

[Althea]

Thea flushed foolishly and nodded.. "Of course.." she frowned, focusing her attention back on the doll in her hands.

Her chest tightened as he spoke of Ilyena, and a little more as he mentioned Gawyn.. "Gawyn said the same..I enjoy her company too.. You both clearly love her very much.." she smiled, though her gaze was full of sorrowful memory as she thought of her own parents.

"I'd be happy to spend more time with her, if she'd like that... I think she helps me, too." she admitted, her smile softening.

 

[Gawyn]

Aodhan smiled and turned his gaze back to watching the children play.

"I see her mother and father whenever I look at her, especially when she does something so very naughty. It makes it hard to keep any sense of discipline in this house," he laughed to himself. "It keeps their memory alive, and as much as it brings me sadness at times I cannot help but be happy around her," he sighed. "A child has such simple emotions. Joy, love, excitement. Gawyn believes much of the reason I don't leave this place is because of how people stare, but it's the emotions too. The weight of them at times. Worry, stress, jealousy, anger..." he shook his head.

"I do not know how you manage in that hospital, Thea."

 

[Althea]

"Hm.. She has that affect on me too. I'd forgotten what true joy felt like, and how addictive a thing it can be.." Thea answered quietly. "And at least they stare at you because you're something wonderful, and not because you lack something. It's not as easy for me to hide here..."

She smiled sadly as he commented on her work in the hospital, her shoulders rolling in a shrug.. "It was always what I did back home.. Yes I can feel their emotions but I can also ease their pain and passing, if it's their time.. As difficult as it can be, it's worth every moment of pain to know that I can make them comfortable." she sighed, thinking of her brother in his final moments and wishing she had the power to forget such things..

 

[Gawyn]

Aodhan's wings rustled but whereas another might give her touch to comfort her in that moment, the Avariel made of stardust merely offered a sympathetic smile.

"It's a commendable thing what you're doing, Althea. But you should not punish yourself for not being able to help everyone. People like us... it is easy to give. But sometimes we need to remember it's okay to take too."

"Thea!" Ilyena came running over with two other children in tow. "Do you wanna come play Princesses?"

 

[Althea]

Thea's expression paused as she stared at him.. She had taken much, but she had paid so much more. It had been so easy to convince herself that she was worthless and deserved nothing. Her crimes had been great, her punishments had been too, and the cutting of her wings had been only the beginning. For years her talents had been exploited for all of the wrong reasons, and it was nice to put them to better use again, it was nice to feel like she was needed whilst having her own freewill..

It was nice to feel a lot of things...

She had been about to say more when Ilyena's voice jolted her from her thoughts and she turned to see the small stampede of children running straight at her. Her smile was instant and bright, and she gasped..

"Me?" she glanced at Aodhan and back to the children. "I would love to, but you three will have to teach me how to be a princess." she chuckled and held out her hand for Ilyena to take.

"Thank you, Aodhan.." she smiled softly, letting the children abduct her..

 

[Gawyn]

It was a few hours before Gawyn was able to extract himself from the other guests and seek out the woman whose eyes and smile he had not been able to push from his mind the entire time they had been apart. He was aware these feeling for Thea were growing stronger and that he was reaching the edge of oblivion where he would soon no longer be able to turn back. But he found himself unable to - unwilling to - turn away from the feelings she stirred in him. He wanted to bask in it a little longer, get a little closer, even if he knew he would be burnt for getting too close.

He found her finally in the garden and leant against a tree to watch.

Ilyena had conjured a makeshift dress out of silk bedsheets for Thea and placed a crown of flowers on her head. The other girls gathered had similar outfits on and they all sat having tea discussing their respective kingdoms.

"So we are all agreed, Princess Rainbow will host the spring ball and Princess Buttercup will help the bunnies settle in their own meadow home," Ilyena proclaimed and everyone seemed to nod. She took a pretend sip of her cup. "Then I call this meeting to an end. We must now say the Princess promise, that we will stay friends forever and protect our kingdoms at all costs."

 

[Althea]

"We promise to stay friends forever, and protect our kingdoms at all costs.." they all repeated in unison and joined pinkies in the centre of the little tea table.

"And.. Long may we reign." Thea added with a warm smile, and the children repeated before their pinkies were released.

"Thank you for the tea, Princess." Thea stood and curtsied, fixing the floral crown on her head.. "I must attend to palace business.." she flashed a smile and turned, pausing as she caught sight of Gawyn watching from nearby.. She laughed under her breath and wandered over, clearing her throat..

"Well? What do you think?" she asked with a twirl in her bedsheet dress.. "Oh. And you must address me as Princess Buttercup now." she grinned up at him, the floral crown falling over her eyes.

 

[Gawyn]

Gawyn took his time in letting his eyes run over her from head to toe as she twirled and a smile tugged at his lips.

"I think you look beautiful, Princess Buttercup," he murmured and uncoiled himself from where he had been leaning to step forward and adjust the floral crown. What are you doing? Screamed a part of his mind once the words were out, but there was nothing that Gawyn could do to take them back now and he found, on a deeper level, he didn't want to take them back. It was vitally important to him she knew how sincerely he thought what he said was true.

 

[Althea]

Thea didn't feel beautiful. Perhaps before, with her wings of pale grey and white and without the scars she wore and the stains on her soul.. the blood on her hands. She wished she'd met him before, when she had less self loathing than she did now.

Her pale grey eyes searched his face as he fixed the flowers on her head, the smile she had worn slowly slipping into something more curious. She wanted to open her senses, find out if he truly believed that, or if he was simply humouring her now that she was Princess Buttercup. But she didn't, because she dreaded what she might find.

When she realised that she was still staring she let out a soft huff of laughter and turned to look over her shoulder at the three children, now holding hands and spinning as fast as they could with high pitched screams of joy that she didn't need to hear to feel.

"Thank you for inviting me.." she said as she turned back to look up at him. "I... Needed this." she nodded and her lips twisted as she looked down at her princess 'gown'. "To be the beautiful Princess Buttercup for the day." she chuckled quietly.

 

[Gawyn]

Gawyn let his hands fall when she turned away to look at the children. Usually, he would have also turned his gaze to Ilyena to watch her joy and see how at home she had come to be in his and Aodhan's care. Instead he continued to watch Thea and the way she truly relaxed when watching them, seeing their happiness. Aodhan had once told him children were like a balm to his empathatic gift, perhaps it was the same with her.

"You're welcome any time, Thea," he made sure to use her name so that she would know he meant it. "Ilyena loves your company, and I'm sure she will have need to speak to Princess Buttercup in the lead up to this... party. Should I be worried of how rambunctious it might get?" he raised a brow with a slow smile.

 

[Althea]

Why did her name sound far more beautiful than it was when he said it?

He'd said it many times but she felt the weight behind it this time and she smiled with a light nod. The soft smile twisted into one far more mischievous as his brow rose, and she mirrored it with her own.

"I can't say I know what you're implying, General. I.. Princess Buttercup, I mean, am a model member of this society and would never give a man of your station any cause to worry.." she told him matter-of-factly, though a laugh quickly tumbled forth and she looked down with a gentle shake of her head, knowing how ridiculously false that statement was..

"I should go change out of my pretty princess dress and get to work... Perhaps, I could come by again in a few days?" she asked as she lifted the flowery crown from her head..

 

[Gawyn]

Gawyn took the flowers with a smile.

"I would like that," he murmured softly then caught himself staring at her and cleared his throat. He was grateful the stubble on his cheeks hid most of the blush. "Ilyena and Aodhan would too. Why don't you come for dinner, on Friday?" he half asked, half suggested, both with equal amounts of hope. He almost winced to hear such hope. Even to his own ears he sounded like a love-struck puppy who would be happy for any scrap of affection a pretty woman would brush from her table in his direction.

He put the crown of flowers on his own head.

"You can collect your crown then."

 

[Althea]

I would like that..

There was something about the shy way in which he murmured it that made her want to kiss him, right then, right there. Her lips seemed to tingle with the very thought and she bit down on the lower one to keep it in check whilst he added that Aodhan and Ilyena would also enjoy her company.. Right.

"I can do that.." she accepted his invitation without hesitation this time, her gaze fixing on his for a little longer than she'd meant it to. Thea grinned, reaching up to adjust his crown, careful not to brush her hand against his skin as she did so.

"Beautiful." she smirked, but Gods, he was. "I'll see you Friday, then.." she nodded, forcing herself to step back and trying not to stumble over her skirts as she wandered off through the party, her mind and heart racing..

 

[Gawyn]

It took everything in his power not to stride after her, gather her up in his arms, and kiss that smirk from her lips.

Suddenly, a napkin was pressed to his chest.

"For the drool," Aodhan said in his quiet murmur, though his eyes sparkled with amusement. Gawyn's face flushed but he took it anyway, hoping those who glanced in his direction believed he had been caught with cake around his mouth and not with his emotions so clearly written on his face.

"Don't worry, I don't think anyone else noticed, though how young Thea could not feel those emotions..." he shook his head chuckling. "She must be trying very hard to give you your privacy, my friend."

"Was it that obvious?" Gawyn groaned, wishing that the ground beneath his feet might open up and swallow him whole. Aodhan merely laughed and clapped him on the back, which made the general only wish he was a geomancer more.