Private Tales Girl Fight Tonight!

[Gwendolyn Vollmund]

I had... I had no idea what to expect... She began, testing her voice to see if some of her usual eloquence had returned... there was no eloquence, but she didnt tremble so she forged ahead.

I thought it was just an outting with a friend... I... I dont even know why I left like I did... I dont know why I started crying...
She lowered her cup to the table and touched her fingers to her lips, her eyes looking nowhere in particular.
She kissed me... I feel so naive that I didnt notice that she had feelings for me... I thought everything was so innocent... I was so wrong!
She felt tears welling up again.

The island elf sat silently allowing her to speak.

Nodding to show he was paying attention. These mainlanders..He almost laughed. Almost.

Not from any mirth at her heart ache but in the idea of being in love with someone so clearly, and yet feeling such shame because of a characteristic..

This was not a flaw..Just a different way of viewing life. The island elves had found themselves to be far more open than their new found allies.

Many things thought common being found to be strange or outright taboo. Leaning more feminine in his looks Kez had seen and even received some of this strange, misguided vitriol first hand.

Often after being underestimated and dealing some much needed comeuppance in the practice arena. Before Dianna would enter and quickly take him down a peg with a wry comment and a few well placed moves. Picking up his often helping slightly battered body to his feet.

Giving his shoulder a kind squeeze and offering a few pointers and encouragement before ruffling his hair in a way she know annoyed him, and shoving him on his way to make room for the next opponent dumb enough to think he could take the skilled soldier.

This kind of behavior had led to rumors of course. Dianna was not unkind, but her cold, professional, exterior was usually only broken when her younger sister Melina entered her conversation.

However Kez, had always felt, it was a platonic kind of playfulness, not flirtatious. Much like she had with her younger sister.

It was an honor to be respected by her in such a way and one he didn’t hold lightly.

He thought over his next words carefully. Aware of the importance of them. “You seem as if you were surprised, but not uninterested..This woman..She cares for you and you for her. I see no reason why you should feel any guilt.” He shrugged.

Well aware that his island opinions would run on the jagged rocks of her own personal beliefs, but that was for her to decided, not his to force upon her.

“We are soldiers. Our time in one place..or even our time here as people are always in question. Never assured. Not that I don’t do my best to help tilt the odds in our favor..” he said with a chuckle and a small grin gesturing to the healers cross on his uniform.

“But..If you feel the same..Even if nothing comes of it. You owe yourself closure when you think you can manage. The sooner the better. This kind of thing..It eats at your heart in a way no healer can mend…” He said calmly. Taking her hand and giving it a small squeeze.

“I do not say this to have you rush out to find them. But think about how you feel. Remove everything else from your mind and simply think of the moment. When it was simply you and her.. then you will know what to do.” He said simply.

Allowing his words to sink in as he drew away his hand and sipped his tea.

Providing simple silent company..

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

“Yes..” The demon would say after a moment.

The question had pulled her from her thoughts like her leg was being hauled out from under her by a a full grown kraken.

But her ingrained obedience forced the truth from her effortlessly. Regardless of her thoughts on it being shared.

“The night I let your mother leave and did not accompany her.” She said her ingrained desire to obey leaving her and allowing the weight of her words to sink into her with a delayed effect.

“I’m sorry ma’am.” Placing a hand to her mouth she would apologize softly. Not meeting the young woman’s gaze.

Charity frowned deeply at Cleo's words. Of course that would be Cleo's answer. But she knew that the demon lived in constant regret for failing her mistress in such a way. Charity also wished that she had been there to defend her mother. If Gwendolyn had more support, maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they had.

"That wasn't your fault Cleo." Charity spoke quietly. "Mother was with Daddy. Nobody would blame you for thinking that there was no way things could go wrong, and that there was no chance of Mother being in danger. Daddy is the strongest person we know, and we both know Mother isn't far behind. With both of them together, they should've been nigh on invincible! But.. They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time..." Charity could feel tears coming on, and swiftly distracted herself with another cinnamon roll.

"Well you see, the reason I asked was because... Umm.. Ah..." Charity stammered, struggling to find the words to describe what had happened, while simultaneously fighting the urge to repress the memory once again. "... Something happened while I was with Dianna last night."

Charity didn't bother explaining who Dianna was to the demon. Cleo already knew. She and the other sisters had always kept a close eye on the chaotic rogue at all times. Whether that was for her own well-being, or just to keep track of a useful asset, Charity couldn't say. All she knew was that someone somewhere was keeping tabs on her.

"We took a walk around the city once she was off duty, and we decided to have an impromptu picnic. After buying the food we needed, I showed her a small park overlooking the harbor. We ate and were sitting there watching the sunset together, when all these weird feelings started bubbling up inside me."

"It wasn't lust" Charity continued. "It was more like..." she floundered for words again, finally throwing up her hands with a sigh. "Let's just say it was new, something I had never felt for another woman before. I felt like I was really close to her. Like emotionally I mean." Charity paused and sipped her tea.

"A-Anyway... I wanted to share that feeling with Dianna, and got the bright idea to kiss her. So I did, and of course she was surprised and ran off crying. And now I can't stop thinking about how I messed things up like I always do, and can't think about anything but Dianna!" Charity's voice had gradually been rising in volume until she was nearly shouting. She slammed her teacup down with a frustrated grunt, sending a crack speeding up the side.

"I don't get it!" Charity continued angrily, her voice returning to a normal volume as she ripped a large chunk off her roll and stuffed it into her mouth. "With other women, I can let it go if things don't work out or they reject me. That's fine. It happens every day. But with Dianna... I just can't let her go. And her rejecting me so strongly hurt way more than it had any right to, and I don't know why!"

"Look..." Charity grumbled with a sigh and scratched the back of her head, "What I'm trying to say is that I don't know what to do to fix this and I need your help. Kinda doubt a simple apology would even begin to repair the damage I've done. I know that what I did hurt her, and I really need to make this right. I don't want to lose my best friend."

She sat silently for a moment, watching the teacup slowly repair itself. Charity knew that she had dumped a lot of feelings and information onto Cleo all at once, but she didn't really have anybody else to confide in. Charity sighed once more and looked at the demon. "What would you do if it were you Cleo?"

 

[Dianna Calcutte]

The island elf sat silently allowing her to speak.

Nodding to show he was paying attention. These mainlanders..He almost laughed. Almost.

Not from any mirth at her heart ache but in the idea of being in love with someone so clearly, and yet feeling such shame because of a characteristic..

This was not a flaw..Just a different way of viewing life. The island elves had found themselves to be far more open than their new found allies.

Many things thought common being found to be strange or outright taboo. Leaning more feminine in his looks Kez had seen and even received some of this strange, misguided vitriol first hand.

Often after being underestimated and dealing some much needed comeuppance in the practice arena. Before Dianna would enter and quickly take him down a peg with a wry comment and a few well placed moves. Picking up his often helping slightly battered body to his feet.

Giving his shoulder a kind squeeze and offering a few pointers and encouragement before ruffling his hair in a way she know annoyed him, and shoving him on his way to make room for the next opponent dumb enough to think he could take the skilled soldier.

This kind of behavior had led to rumors of course. Dianna was not unkind, but her cold, professional, exterior was usually only broken when her younger sister Melina entered her conversation.

However Kez, had always felt, it was a platonic kind of playfulness, not flirtatious. Much like she had with her younger sister.

It was an honor to be respected by her in such a way and one he didn’t hold lightly.

He thought over his next words carefully. Aware of the importance of them. “You seem as if you were surprised, but not uninterested..This woman..She cares for you and you for her. I see no reason why you should feel any guilt.” He shrugged.

Well aware that his island opinions would run on the jagged rocks of her own personal beliefs, but that was for her to decided, not his to force upon her.

“We are soldiers. Our time in one place..or even our time here as people are always in question. Never assured. Not that I don’t do my best to help tilt the odds in our favor..” he said with a chuckle and a small grin gesturing to the healers cross on his uniform.

“But..If you feel the same..Even if nothing comes of it. You owe yourself closure when you think you can manage. The sooner the better. This kind of thing..It eats at your heart in a way no healer can mend…” He said calmly. Taking her hand and giving it a small squeeze.

“I do not say this to have you rush out to find them. But think about how you feel. Remove everything else from your mind and simply think of the moment. When it was simply you and her.. then you will know what to do.” He said simply.

Allowing his words to sink in as he drew away his hand and sipped his tea.

Providing simple silent company..

She took it all in... 'not uninterested'? What did that even mean? Just because she wasn't outright disgusted or even really angry about it didn't mean that she would actually want to kiss a girl... Outside of family of course... Just because it wasn't the worst experience in her life didn't mean that she didn't mind it at all... Right?

Such relationships were all about pleasure. That's what she had been taught since she first witnessed two men kiss each other from the window their family carriage.
Scenes of debauchery and hedonism came to mind when the subject came up. Nothing proper or high status ladies or lords would be caught engaging in publicly.

She let him take her hand and allowed him to reassure her with his presence. Sure, his presence wasn't THAT assuring, his slight and elvish frame with feminine features didn't make her feel any safer. She could likely serve as the more masculine role between the two of them if someone had to compare.
That's why she never really saw him in a romantic way, but his role and features seemed to fit him nicely into the category of confidante.

But... Removing everything from her mind and just thinking about the moment? Just her feelings?
As a Knight Paladin, feelings had no room in her decision making. She'd be packed off back home faster than she could blink if she let her emotions get in the way of making the right call when it counted... And wasn't this one of the times when it counted?

"If I let myself think about that moment I'm afraid I'll lose myself... Isn't this too important? The girl kissed me and I think she thought that we were building a romantic relationship. Isn't this the time to have a clear head, instead of daydreaming? I can't have her thinking that I was playing with her emotions."

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

Some Days Later​

Charity nervously wandered the small square in front of the Mardanian embassy. She had been there for a while browsing the stalls and trying to ignore her real reason for being there. But try as she might, Charity couldn't stop herself from stealing glances towards the embassy and mentally practicing what she would say to Dianna. She grumbled under her breath. It felt as if it was taking an eternity for Dianna to appear. The sooner Charity could get this over with, the sooner Dianna could move on and Charity could run and hide. She'd just count herself lucky if Dianna didn't immediately turn and walk the other direction.

Oh! There she was! "Hey! Dianna! Over here!" Charity's face automatically lit up with joy as she called out to the woman, but her expression crumbled just as quickly into a mix of sadness and shame as she remembered the reason why she was there. The hand that had been waving excitedly in greeting, slowed and dropped to her side. Charity knew she had no right to act so friendly towards Dianna after what she had done. She held back the beginning of tears of frustration at her own stupidity and roughly shoved her hands into her pockets.

Charity approached Dianna, coming to a stop a few paces away. How she would've loved to run up and hug her and bombard her with tales of what had happened since they had last met, but she couldn't. She knew she couldn't. And it was her own damn fault.

Her fists bunched angrily in her pockets as she took a step forward. Charity's mouth opened as if she were going to speak, but then firmly shut as she quickly turned her head to the side. Charity watched the people milling about in the square for a moment, before reluctantly turning her attention back to Dianna. She had to apologize, and there was no getting out of it. Dianna deserved at least that much.

"Umm... I-... So..." Charity sighed heavily. "Look... Can we talk?" Her gaze slid away from Dianna's face down to her scuffed boots, and then back to Dianna. It was almost too painful to look at her now, but Charity forced herself to make eye contact. "It'll only take a minute, I promise. We could sit by the fountain..." she suggested. With that many people around, Dianna could hopefully trust her to not try and pull anything.

 

[Dianna Calcutte]

The military is a well oiled machine, and thus it didn't allow for much leeway in the realm of time off. Her duties still had to be performed, and that was fine with Dianna, it allowed her to throw herself into her work and distract herself from her thoughts.

She continued to show up for work and stand guard while she tried to ignore the storm of thoughts that swirled about in her mind.

Charity nervously wandered the small square in front of the Mardanian embassy. She had been there for a while browsing the stalls and trying to ignore her real reason for being there. But try as she might, Charity couldn't stop herself from stealing glances towards the embassy and mentally practicing what she would say to Dianna. She grumbled under her breath. It felt as if it was taking an eternity for Dianna to appear. The sooner Charity could get this over with, the sooner Dianna could move on and Charity could run and hide. She'd just count herself lucky if Dianna didn't immediately turn and walk the other direction.

It has been a few days and she hadn't seen Charity at all in that time. Her conversation with Kez often replayed in her head as she tried to make sense of everything that has happened and that was happening now.

At the end of her shift she removed her armor and exited the embassy.

Oh! There she was! "Hey! Dianna! Over here!" Charity's face automatically lit up with joy as she called out to the woman, but her expression crumbled just as quickly into a mix of sadness and shame as she remembered the reason why she was there. The hand that had been waving excitedly in greeting, slowed and dropped to her side. Charity knew she had no right to act so friendly towards Dianna after what she had done. She held back the beginning of tears of frustration at her own stupidity and roughly shoved her hands into her pockets.

Upon hearing her name she looked around. When she spotted Charity waving at her from across the street her heart leapt into her throat and she froze in place, feeling like a doe caught in a farmers garden for the briefest moment.
But she recovered quickly and plastered a smile on her face in recognition... Which soon faded as she saw Charity's dejected posture.

Charity approached Dianna, coming to a stop a few paces away. How she would've loved to run up and hug her and bombard her with tales of what had happened since they had last met, but she couldn't. She knew she couldn't. And it was her own damn fault.

Her fists bunched angrily in her pockets as she took a step forward. Charity's mouth opened as if she were going to speak, but then firmly shut as she quickly turned her head to the side. Charity watched the people milling about in the square for a moment, before reluctantly turning her attention back to Dianna. She had to apologize, and there was no getting out of it. Dianna deserved at least that much.

When Charity started walking towards her Dianna did the same, stopping when she did, unsure of what was going to come next.
Dianna had been thinking of what she would say if she ran into Charity again, how she would act... She wanted to apologize, she wanted to explain the swirling thoughts and feelings that clogged her head...

She saw Charity open her mouth but stop, Dianna could see that she was struggling to find the words, Dianna struggled too but Charity found the words first.

"Umm... I-... So..." Charity sighed heavily. "Look... Can we talk?" Her gaze slid away from Dianna's face down to her scuffed boots, and then back to Dianna. It was almost too painful to look at her now, but Charity forced herself to make eye contact. "It'll only take a minute, I promise. We could sit by the fountain..." she suggested. With that many people around, Dianna could hopefully trust her to not try and pull anything.

Dianna nodded, her tongue finally freed.
"Yes, the fountain is fine. let's talk."

Dianna led the way, turning away from Charity while she tried desperately to think of what she wanted to say before she had to confront Charity's face again.

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

Dianna nodded, her tongue finally freed.
"Yes, the fountain is fine. let's talk."

Dianna led the way, turning away from Charity while she tried desperately to think of what she wanted to say before she had to confront Charity's face again.

Charity followed a step behind Dianna, her own thoughts and emotions roiling like a stormy sea. Now that she was back to talk with Dianna, strange feelings rose in her. On one hand she felt giddy, like a schoolgirl seeing her crush for the first time in days. Charity could feel her heart racing with excitement just having Dianna close once again. A faint happy smile cracked her lips suddenly but disappeared just as quickly.

On the other hand, there was a part of her screaming so insistently that it nearly drowned out all other thoughts. A voice urging her to get out of there. Telling her that what was done, was done. There was no good reason to be there. There was nothing she could say or do to undo the damage she had caused, and she was better off running and hiding until nobody remembered her mistakes.

And Charity couldn't deny that there was some truth in what it said. She did have an awful habit of just making things worse. What was she even hoping to accomplish?

Charity was pulled from her thoughts as she almost bumped into Dianna as they reached the fountain. She watched and waited nervously as Dianna sat, before taking a seat herself, leaving a fair amount of space between them.

She sat wordlessly for what felt like any eternity, watching the crowds go by, staring at the clouds, looking down at her boots, looking everywhere but at Dianna. Charity allowed herself to enjoy the familiarity of Dianna's company, a warmth growing inside her. She relaxed slightly, back in the presence of the one person she felt totally safe and comfortable around.

But at the same time, being this close to Dianna was extraordinarily painful. It was as if a jagged blade was plunged into her chest and was ever so slowly twisting further and further into her heart. The one thing she wanted the most desperately at that moment seemed so far out of reach.

Charity took a deep breath and slowly released it before turning to face Dianna. "So, Dianna..." she began uncertainly. "I um... I just wanted to apologize for kissing you out of the blue the other day." Charity paused to take another nervous breath. "I acted on my own desires without thinking about how you would feel about it, or even asking if you minded. It must've been quite the shock. I do have feelings for you, but I know that forcing them on you like that wasn't the right way to go about things." She paused again, continuing with a defeated sigh. "I hope you can forgive me and my stupidity."

Charity turned away from Dianna and hugged her knees to her chest, anxiously awaiting Dianna's response. Truth be told, she wouldn't be at all surprised if Dianna ripped her apart for being so inconsiderate and selfish.