Completed A Head Full of Dreams

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Her feet carried her to the infirmary as if there was no other path for her to take. Everleigh was briskly marching through the halls, every footfall seeming to slam against the wooden floor with such vigor that one would have though the purple proctor to be much larger than she truly was. Her long braid swayed behind her like a scorpion tail in the wind.

She opened the infirmary door, reminding herself not to slam it against the wall and stepped inside, eyes quickly scanning the room. There were two nurses. Nurse Ingrid who was busy and then a new nurse, clearly to replace the bitch Jenna, who was dabbing at Miklan’s cheek. Miklan was sitting up on his cot, skinny pale legs dangling off the side.

“Mik— initiate.” Everleigh said, stomping over. The new nurse, Anne, shrank away. Most fourth levels did, even if the healers hadn’t yet realized that their magic actually trumped everything Everleigh was. Not that she was going to tell them. Miklan looked up at Everleigh with big blue eyes and looked away, huffing. He had a black eye, scratches on his cheek, and a bloody nose. His knees were cut up just as much as the palm of his tiny hands were. “Are you okay?” She asked first.

Miklan shrugged. He was fine, she could see that, and there had been no need to ask the question. Yet the worry wouldn’t abide just yet. Everleigh moved closer to Miklan, glancing over her shoulder, expecting to see Proctor Salak entering any moment. He had also been informed of the fight that Miklan had got in.

“Do they look worse than you?” Everleigh asked Miklan in her hushed tone. This caused the young boy to grin and he nodded his head, a hand going to swipe at his nose in a gesture that was utterly Zael.

“Of course.” He said.

“Good boy.” Everleigh grinned back.

Salak

 

[Salak]

*Tack, tack, tack!*
Salak's arrival was heralded by the sound of his cane. He had not been to the infirmary for years and its doors looked just awful then as they did now.
Behind him an initiate named Teklis followed, barely ten if that and nursing his black eye and burst lip.
Salak shouldered open the door, a needlessly dramatic entrance that was assisted by his robes and hood. Then marched his way over to Everliegh, who could always be counted on to stand out, where he set the Initiates Miklan and Teklis with hard looks.
"Get yourself cleaned up Initiate Teklis. I'll speak with you later."
He then gestured to Anne to take him.
"Please, Anne if you would be so kind."

He then turned to Miklan and with deep angered disappointment spoke.
"Brawling, Initiate Miklan."
He ignored Everliegh for now. Too furious with this breach of decorum. Too frightened by what nightmares had been narrowly avoided. Teklis was gifted with manipulation of the wind and had not yet learned to harness that destructive power but Miklan was another thing. Unknown, inexperienced. If he wanted to avoid another incident like the one Everliegh described in the courtyard then Miklan needed to know when and where to apply himself and with restraint. Something Salak himself had experience with.
"Explain yourself."

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Just as she suspected, Salak was right on time. Begrudgingly, Everleigh stepped aside, putting space between her and Miklan with one large backward step. Miklan gave a look at Teklis, blonde brows lowering over his eyes to make him appear much meaner than he truly was. Anne ushered the other initiate to a different cot, most likely bringing him along to the group that, as Miklan had boasted, looked worse off than him.

Everleigh tried not to look too proud about that fact as she peeked over to see the curtain pulled, and yes, two of the boys most definitely did look worse.

“I didn’t do nothin’ wrong.” Miklan said, looking at Salak. “They’re bullies. They just didn’t think I’d hit ‘em back. Well, I did.”

Salak

 

[Salak]

Salak felt very tired but reacted quickly.
"Address a Proctor with respect when he is speaking to you Initiate"
His right cheek began to feel warm. His indignation at the lads hasty words needed to be seen, even though he cared little for it. The Nurses had ears and heard more than they let on.
"I do not care that they deserved it. Many in this world escape punishment for far worse crimes. Brawling is for Soldiers and Slaves boy. You are neither. An Initiate of this Academy MUST be better than that."
He gave a rough sigh and looked at Everleigh. Trying to not let the softness he felt show too much.
"Do you mean to take charge of his punishment?"
He knew it would be hard for Everleigh to do it but he thought that perhaps she would rather it be her than him though he suspected that she would go easy on Miklan, it was after all his first transgression.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“No,” Everleigh said. “I don’t.” Miklan looked from Salak to Everleigh. The boy wasn’t quite sure which proctor he’d rather had. Sure, he liked Proctor Ebersol enough, even if he didn’t like to address as such. But, while being at the Academy here, he had heard little things. Things that hadn’t bothered him at first because she had helped save his family’s ranch. But there were things said that had infiltrated his mind and made him hesitant in simple things: touching her, breathing in the air around her too long, and anything else that could possibly kill him just by being around her.

Proctor Salak on the other hand? He had heard less bad things. But he did look rather funny. Almost like he was too old to be a proctor. And wasn’t he just like Proctor Ebersol except nicer? Could being around him too long also harm him?

“I was bein’ better.” Miklan said under his breath and looked at Proctor Salak with as much grit as he could muster. “You gotta be there for your friends. I ain’t apologizin’ to them. I’ll take my punishment with a smile, Proctor Salak.”

Everleigh looked at Salak.

“Country boys are just built different. Punishing him won’t damper his spirit.” Was her excuse.

Salak

 

[Salak]

Salak almost rounded on Miklan, almost asked him where his friend was now? Why had they not come to him while he was hurt? Told him that they were no friend at all.
But he didn't. Instead he took a deep breath and tried again.
With his green eyes unwavering he looked right at Everleigh "So be it Initiate."
Salak closed the divider to give them some privacy then rolled up his sleeve and drew to the surface of his skin a droplet distilled of the Pollu pullo plant 's pollen from the Falwood. Weeping Heart was the venom from this particular flower and it caused great and uncontrollable sadness in the victim. Looking at Everleigh he added.
"We shall see. Present your hand Initiate."
He loathed to do this but perhaps both of them could learn something. Everleigh that he was not going to harm the lad and Miklan that there are other ways to attack an opponent than fighting.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Whenever something dangerous was being used, anything that could be considered poison or venom or toxic, there was inherent knowing. Something in her gut that first told her if she had had it or not, and then her mind seemed to turn on after her gut’s intuition.

Weeping Heart poison, oh, of course she knew what it did. Miklan was grabbed in a split second, Everleigh putting herself between him and Salak. Her eyes narrowed into violet slits, brows angled low, nose scrunched up and her mouth twisted into a horrifying grimace.

“How. Dare. You.” Everleigh hissed, seething with such wrath that couldn’t possibly fit in her body. She kept Miklan behind her, every muscle tense. She had already accounted the reach Salak held with his cane, already considered it to be a trick weapon. She knew how to turn so when he went for her torso, knew how to block when he went for her face.

It would be a question on not just who was faster but who could attack while also evading. Everleigh fully believed she would win this fight.

“Children should never be sad.” A belief so pivotal to her core she was willing to die for it. “How dare you do to him what they did to us.” Not once did she raise her voice, an eerie softness to it despite her spitting her words at Salak like they were knives.

Salak

 

[Salak]

Surprised, Salak took a step back. It was as if he had woken up and found himself there. Yet he remembered himself and his actions.
Quickly he lowered his hand and absorbed the Weeping Heart back into himself, where it was safe.
"Of, course. You're right Everliegh. Forgive me. We must find a more elegant solution to this."
A broken half hearted smile tried to crawl across his face but he was shaken. He had not used his abilities to poison anyone as punishment since he arrived. Oh he threatened, certainly, but never once did he actually do it. Now he was ready to go for it so willingly. The thought chilled him as his face now pained him. Like a growing root digging into his cheekbone. Ignoring it was proving difficult.
"Miklan, and the other Initiates, must be punished. You know this. So what do you suggest?"
Keep it moving, keep composed.
He could deal with his own issues later.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Everleigh still kept Miklan behind her, even when the Weeping Heart seeped back into his skin. Miklan fidgeted behind her, still bewildered by such speed and strength Everleigh actually had. He didn’t know why he thought her to be some stationary being, perhaps very smart but that was it. Yet she had lifted him before he could even blink and had her behind him before he realized what exactly was happening.

“I can handle—“

“Shut up.” Everleigh’s grip on him tightened and Miklan couldn’t understand how such a small palm and slender fingers could inflict such strength on him like his own father’s bear paw of a hand could. Everleigh’s heart was beating in her chest, faster and faster as she insisted that Salak was lying.

He had lied to her about protecting Miklan while she was away. Did he know she had lied to him? Did he know she planned on using the mission to Asturias as her way out? It was impossible. There was no record, not even a concrete one in her own mind. She had been extra careful the past six weeks, or was it two months now? She shook her head, anxiety needling away at her nerves, gooseflesh on her neck.

All the eyes and all the mouths and all the hands, Kress, she felt them now, just looking and talking and hurting.

“You’re hurtin’ me.” Everleigh let go of Miklan then, not realizing how she had twisted his arm. Everleigh turned her back to Salak, even if rhyme and reason screamed at her not to. Miklan’s face was pale, his large blue eyes confused. She hoisted him back onto the infirmary cot with both hands, trying to be gentle.

“I don’t see why Initiate Kresselring should be punished.” Everleigh said with a sigh plagued by restless thoughts. “His bloody nose should be enough.” She glanced at Salak’s cane before looking at the other proctor.

Salak

 

[Salak]

Salak gave a grave sigh.
She was right of course, Miklan did nothing wrong, not really. He broke the rules though.
"Because..."
He stopped himself and looked at the lad then gave a look to Everleigh that held more sadness than he wanted it to show.
*Because I'm here to weed out sedition. Because I've had my eye on you for weeks. Because I'm afraid that if I don't do this someone else will notice an err in protocol and look into you, look into the boy. Suspect what I do or worse, confirm what I suspect of you?*
More than all that he wanted to tell her to take the boy and go. Leave as soon as she could. If he suspected then others could also. She was not as subtle as she thought herself to be and though he had no PROOF of it he believed it. Sure as the sun will rise Everleigh Ebersol was a traitor to the Academy, to the Dreadlords and Vel Anir itself.
So why did he not want to believe it?
"... it doesn't matter. Initiate, if anyone asks I gave you a beating for this, do you understand?"
He dragged a seat over to Everleigh, she looked exhausted.
"Sit."
Was he going to tell her? He didn't know. He knew only that this hurt was something he wanted to help with.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Something in Salak’s eyes made Evie relax. It had to be because she hated looking at him when it felt like she was looking into a mirror. They both had such uncool persistence in matters they could not speak about. They both held their tongues as if they spoke freely and cursed the world, they knew every vile, venomous word to fall from their suffering lips would come true.

They each shared the same dolorous tale of atrocity, sharing the same expectations because of who they were and what their magic was.

“We have to punish him.” Everleigh relented, shoulders sagging.

“Why?”

“Miklan,” Everleigh began, refusing to sit. She hated sitting, hated being still. It was in her nature to constantly be moving forward, even if she didn’t know what she was moving towards. The only time being still had felt right was when she had been in his arms. She looked away, even if the white divider wouldn’t allow her to see it, she looked towards the bed that Zael had been. In their own little handmade heaven of promises and confessions and adoring physicality.

“You don’t think it’s right. Then why do you have to?” She looked back at Miklan. There was genuine curiosity but greater than that was the acute awareness of self reflected back at her. Miklan couldn’t understand why she would do something when she didn’t agree with it. Of course he didn’t, he was still a child, and this was something only adults ever dealt with, doing the wrong thing because it was right for someone else.

Everleigh didn’t have a answer for Miklan. She felt too much like a failure to him, to Zael even if he wouldn’t know, and when she looked at Salak… yes, she was failing him, too, wasn’t she?

“Pick a number from one to ten.” She said to Miklan.

“Five.” He hadn’t thought hard much about it, just said the one number he knew to be in the middle. In the middle was better, right?

“Fine. You’re going to write a five-page apology letter to the Academy for disrupting class and wasting both mine and Proctor Salak’s time. Pay attention, I’m only going to say this one. Every fifth letter has to be in a different color, every fifth word has to be… what’s your favorite color, Initiate?”

“B-blue….”

“Every fifth word has to be written in blue, and you have five days to complete this.” Miklan’s mouth hung open. He would have rather had Salak beat him with his cane compared to this.

“But how am I supposed to make them different colors?”

“I dunno, figure it out yourself. But if it’s not done just know I will personally make you suffer for five days straight if you do not complete it to my instructions? Got it?” Miklan nodded his head, still in shock, desperately trying to remember everything Everleigh had said and already forgetting that he had forgotten something. “Now out, you’re fine, you don’t need any healing. Hurry it up before I give you something else to do.” He’d have to suffer through the discomfort of a broken nose for that was only a passive punishment. Miklan didn’t need any more threats, he was already off the cot and marching himself out of the infirmary as fast as he could.

Only when the infirmary door was quietly shut did Everleigh sit down.

“Little pictures have big ears.” She warned him. There were still other initiates and the nurses in here.

Salak

 

[Salak]

"And long memories."
Salak added in understanding as he too took a step over to Everleigh and with some effort knelt down to look at her.
"Like us. They don't forget anything."
It was painful having to speak in such clouded terms, to lack every trace of honesty unless it was cruel.
He remembered their first meeting months ago and the seed of his suspicion she left in him during her outburst, their mutual outbursts revealed much.
"Everleigh..."
His heart grew heavy with confession as he pondered how many times had he almost revealed his suspicions.
"... not here."
He shook his head in short sharp motions.
"Do you know of the old tower? The one above the girls dormitory?"
His voice was thick with conspiracy but he was certain if there was one place NOBODY but the dead listened then this was it. He would prefer more time to ask Miss Grey for permission but the need was great. He would have to trust her understanding.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Her face said: obviously not here. A simple nod said: of course she knew of the old tower above the girls dormitory. Getting off of the chair and out of the infirmary said: I know the way like the back of my hand.

Not once did she speak to Salak, even out in the hall. She felt a numbness take over. Paranoia had always been her best friend, comforting her when loneliness couldn’t.

Her stomach was hollow, chest tight. Everleigh’s face, blank and unflappable, gait confident and steps silent. All the way to the old tower she didn’t look at Salak. The showdown would happen soon enough.

Salak

 

[Salak]

Next to Everleigh, Salak looked like a twisted thing.
His limping walk, the shroud of his robe concealing the pallid and marked flesh of his form.
Against the powerful elegance of her visage he was little more than a monster.
He walked a step behind her.
Silent but for the sound of his cane on the stone floor.
*Tack, tack tack,*
He had no tricks, no preparations. Yet his mind was clear as a summers day. This was what he was there for. His purpose at the Academy and now, he would fulfill it. One way or another.
They got to the tower and silently entered.
Without stopping Salak closed the door behind them and stood facing it as Everleigh no doubt prepared herself in whatever ways she felt best.
She knew. Sure as he did she knew what was about to happen here and Salak also knew that neither of them wanted it. Forces, powerful and uncaring forces compelled them both now.
For all their talk of freedom they had chained themselves to this fate and perhaps worst of all was the sickening comfort that the thought brought to him.
He was still facing the door only inches away from it, as if he was examining the old wood when he broke their silence. It was hard, as if the quiet was burying them both and to break it he had to scream but he didn't. His voice was calm and without judgement.

"In your lesson, the one that failed so spectacularly, you wrote of a Princess who loved an Advisor to her father the King. Yet in the notes I read there was no end to that story. The Princess had to choose between her Loves and her Loyalties. I often wonder what she chose in the end. Did she more love a man or her country?"

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“That was the question at the heart of the riddle.” Everleigh said. The initiates had gotten it all wrong, not looking any deeper into it. She supposed it was hard to think critically when it was so early in the morning and when the Academy had never fostered initiates to understand subtext.

And why would future dreadlords ever need to analyze a story or a riddle? Broken bones and blood was a universal language.

It has been nearly a year since Death Lotto. She was closer to twenty-one than nineteen now. How she thought then and how she thought now was like night and day.

“I guess it depends on what you believe she chooses her master to be. Who would you rather give your freedom to? A man or a country?”

Salak

 

[Salak]

Salak knew his own answer. It was what it had always been and for the same reason it always was. His hand braced him against the door something about its sturdy nature after all these years helped him to speak.
"No man can ever equal a nation no matter who he is or what he believes in. I would choose my country."
His bones felt heavy, like he was made of sand bags.
"But I don't think that's the real end of the story. I think the Princess chose the man she loved in the end."
At last he turned to face Everleigh his face distorted in shame, disgust, betrayal and sorrow as they each pulled at his features for control. In truth he had never looked more hideous and his eyes had never held such painful anger.
"Didn't she, Everleigh?"

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Everleigh smiled a beautiful smile, the sort that showed off her undeniable flirtatious beauty. A devil hiding behind the face of an angel.

A vile smile for a vile girl. At least in the eyes of Salak.

“There’s a third choice.” Everleigh said. “Maybe she chooses to be uncontrollable.”

Salak

 

[Salak]

Salak snarled back at her.
"But she doesn't does she? She made her choice when she raised her left hand. Maybe she regrets it but it was made nonetheless."
He stood up straight and stared down Everleigh's grin.
"So tell me how it ends."
Between them the air almost crackled with tension.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable force? Salak and Everleigh stared at each other, eyes so expressive that words didn’t need to be spoken. Their posture, the pause between them, all of this spoke leagues more than their words ever could convey. Everleigh inhaled deeply. She was drooling. Even her body knew a fight was about to start but neither poison nor venom would hurt the man before.

“You’re right.” Everleigh said but she wasn’t relenting. She kept smiling, perhaps even more just to see it reflected back to her in Salak’s eyes. “And you’re wrong. Emotionally I wanted to leave. Intellectually I knew I had to stay. As always, I enjoy punishing myself.” She stepped forward towards the man. He stood tall now but Everleigh had always liked bringing down those who were bigger than her.

“But I refuse to stay here and stagnant. Not because the Academy only sought to benefit from my body in what it could provide or what I can do. Not because a man’s face would light up when seeing me despite me doing nothing to deserve it. But because I refuse to offer my free will to others another second. I’d rather die!” And if she was risking her own life, she’d take any who oppose her down with her. As many as she could drag down to the depths of hell. Even Salak despite having once considering him an ally.

Salak

 

[Salak]

So she meant to leave truly.
Salak's face softened but didn't slack. He was still determined to see this out but he wasn't the cold creature he presented himself as.
He knew how hard it was to be what they are. Not just poison workers or Dreadlords but people who have spent their lives giving themselves to others.
For her it was to... he didn't know, some rebel lover? An elf disruption cell? Some darker secret only she knew?
For him it was perhaps less defined. A grim hope that Vel Anir could be better, even if he was beginning to understand that he might not be part of that better future.
"So you're running away! Giving up? Damnit Everleigh, I thought you believed in a better Vel Anir. A better life for them!"
With his hand he gestured to the Academy below and the scores of Initiates therein.
As soon as he said it he knew it was only a half truth. He was beginning to identify this feeling. It was the one he had not felt since he saw Trelain jump from the window and try to kill himself.
Abandonment. He was beginning to realise that if Everleigh left he would be alone here.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“I wanted to believe in a better Vel Anir.” How dare he judge her so after showing her his true colors. “One day I’m going to have children. I don’t want them to live in a world like this. I don’t want them living in a world where for punishment in standing up for what they believe in they get such deep uncontrollable sadness that it breaks them.” Everleigh threw back at Salak, refusing to back down.

Salak

 

[Salak]

"Don't you dare throw that at me. My sins are well known to me but I carry them. I don't run from them."
He wasn't budging, not from the spot or from his resolve.
He had to make her see that she was in greater danger than she knew, that whatever personal freedom she might gain, she could damn the entire Academy.
But he didn't see it yet. His scope was limited.
The Elf Village, wiped out.
The death of the Diemut Heir and his grizzly display at the elf quarter.
Miklan, who called Everliegh by an Elf name.
The riddle.
It could be coincidence unless... no, it was impossible.
His eyes met hers and he looked , pierced them with his own scrutiny. The kind he didn't think he'd need here and then he saw it, at least he thought he did.
Like a mirror shard hidden among broken glass.
His green eyes went wide with the knowledge.
"It cannot be... you... you are..."
He dared not say it, it couldn't be true.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“I’m what? Spit it out already!”

Salak

 

[Salak]

"You're a traitor."
It made more sense than he wanted to admit but it did make sense.
"The dead Proctor at your graduation. This riddle, Caeso Diemut, YOUR STUDENT, murdered on these grounds and strung up outside the elf quarter days after a report of an outlying village of elfs being destroyed."
A picture was forming in his mind, bigger and scarier than anything else he's imagined. She could not have done it alone.
Suddenly he checked the door, made sure it was shut tight.
"Who else? Who else is conspiring with you? D'Amour?"
She insisted they split up after he found the body of the boy, Joel, but still the attacker got away. Did Evangeline LET them escape? How deep did this go?
He needed answers, there was more, he was close, he could feel it.

Everleigh Ebersol

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Well, yes, she was a traitor. She had been well aware of the fact the moment her heart and mind didn’t agree on the same thing for once. Yet as Salak continued on, the fury drained from her face to leave behind nothing but confusion. She waited for Salak to say the truth, that Everleigh had planned on breaking Erland out from Vel Luin and helping him get back to his home, maybe seeing if any others from his raiding party were still alive and helping them to escape to. That she very much planned on keeping Miklan safe at any cost, whether it was at the Academy or elsewhere. Or that she wanted to pay one last visit to Marianne, to go to her home and take away her children and make her unable to make more.

Instead she was accused of killing Malaneaux— which she felt such indignity to be thrown at her face when Malaneaux was the traitor, not her!— her riddle (sure, all the initiates couldn’t understand it but that wasn’t her fault, was it?), and worse of all, somewhat implied to have participated in Caeso Diemut’s death. That hurt, she felt it in her heart.

Even if Caeso’s death meant her deepest secret was now only between her and Marianne once again, Everleigh hadn’t wanted him to die. What were her last words to him?

“But now? Shame has no power over you. You don’t need to tell everyone or anyone else if you don’t want to, but you’re free. What else is there to cage you?” She smiled a rare smile. “You’re going to graduate. You’re going to leave the Academy. You’re going to do whatever it is that nobles do with your planned, boring futures. Then maybe you can forgive yourself, or at least thirteen-year-old-you who was tricked. Just because Quinctus is not around to forgive you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t forgive the one who still cares years later.” Because that was what overcame shame, wasn’t it? Forgiveness. Or rather, Everleigh thought, the act of forgiving yourself when no one else could.

“I always knew I was smarter than you.” Everleigh scoffed. “No wonder why you’re the fourth level and I’m the third level despite being ten years you junior.” Didn’t mean her paranoia was already in motion, telling her her time at the Academy was up.

Salak