Private Tales Whispers of Deceit

[Ysobel]

Ysobel half-agreed with the things Perrine had been saying until her last offer. Had the familiar voice of her other half not made itself known, she would have declined it all. She was lonely and had a lot of feelings all the time that she couldn't quite work out. But despite her claims of misery, she was happy with him and wouldn't trade him for a life anywhere else. She wouldn't want to have a permanent tie to anyone else.

"Gaage-?!" Her head snapped towards the voice and she left him say what he needed to share before watching him leave through their front door. She stood once more and turned to Perri. "I'm sorry, Perri. Thank you for everything, but I'm afraid you should probably head back to the Academy before it gets late."

She didn't wait for a response before following through the door, barefoot and still in her pajamas.

"Gaage wait! I don't know what you heard, but you got it all wrong!" She shouted after him, chasing after into the trees that surrounded the cabin. Some, not all. But in Ysobel's defense, she had assumed it was a mutual agreement that they had screwed up by being so careless. It sounded bad, but she had not meant it so negatively.

"Slow down!"

 

[Perrine Urahil]

The Dreadlord training instilled in her had Perrine whirling around, palming the first dagger at her hip as a new voice joined them in the room. Ah, Gaage Eberwhit. It certainly put many things into place, and Perrine now understood one of the last letters Ysobel had sent.

Before she arrived at the Academy, Perrine only heard through old gossip about the previous Initiates. She even remembered Gaage during her brief time at the Academy as Initiate, but pulled into duty due to her skill as a Healer.

As Ysobel gave her farewell, her blonde brows furrowed together. And miss the show?

Taking a box of the pralines, Perrine's fashionable boots clicked against the flooring as she then leaned in the doorway that was their front door. She popped a peppermint praline into her mouth, slowly chewing on it and watched the lovers. Emotional confrontations were a guilty pleasure, a situation she rarely found herself in but watching the Twins argue was one of her favourite past times.

Gaage Eberwhit Ysobel

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Gaage wasn't particularly hard to catch up to, even for a pregnant woman. He'd only made it past the fence when Ysobel came yelling after him. There was a large part of him that wanted to move faster, to escape into the trees where he could be alone, temper his anger and decide on what he needed to do next. He knew what he'd heard, and it didn't sound like there was much room for argument.

But still, something stopped him. Despite his rage, he loved Ysobel. He cherished every moment they spent together, and it was the idea that she might not feel the same way that infuriated him so. Against the wishes of his body, Eberwhit turned to face his half-dressed pursuer. He owed her this much, to hear some sort of explanation.

Because underneath the fury in his sunken amber eyes, he didn't want to believe what his ears had heard.

"What is there to get wrong?" Gaage snapped, raising his arms in frustration, "You said it yourself, that you've wasted an entire decade of your life in being here. That you're miserable, that you've lost your family!" It wasn't as though he was paraphrasing her, either. Those were more or less her exact words to the Proctor she'd so brazenly brought to their house. Pressing his palms to his chest, he continued. "I don't care about this fucking rebellion anymore, Yoh! I don't care about Gilram! All that I want is to be your family! I want to raise this kid with you, keep you happy and safe. You know why? Because those family members you lost? I lost them too. You think I don't miss some of those people every day? You know how often I curse myself for leaving Zael high and dry? It's every minute."

Gaage's words poured out faster than he could think of them, but eventually, he reached the end of his breath and dropped his arms to his sides, a look of both desperation and defeat plastered on his unshaven face.

"Delaney left me in the middle of the night. No goodbye, no reason given. When I come home to somebody giving you that same offer... Can you blame me for getting upset?"

Ysobel Perrine Urahil

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel planted her feet in the ground, standing just before Gaage as he turned around to shout at her. She hadn't expected him to blow up, but then again she wasn't sure what all he heard until he began his yelling. Her arms crossed over her chest, squeezing herself tighter with each word she tried to shield herself against. Eyes locked onto the grass below, Ysobel was unable to bring herself to even look into his eyes.

He hadn't misheard her, no. But he had misinterpreted what she meant.

"Gaage..." She let him finish before speaking up. "I didn't mean it...like that..." She held her breath for a moment, begging her eyes not to tear up. She had already been an emotional disaster for way too long. She'd been doing better. Sort of.

Not really.

She didn't move any closer when he finally threw his arms to his side.

"I love you, but-" it was always but. "You don't understand how I feel. You didn't hear me accept any offer for a reason. I would never leave you, but I miss the people I've known since I was a child. I lost my first family. Losing my second has been hard. I don't want to lose my third chance."

One tear fell...and then the next...

"Perrine told me...Caeso is dead. Did you even know him? He was my friend. And Lumen? I don't even know where she's gone. She was like a sister to me. Soleil? Gone. Not that you care, but I just found out all of this. Forgive me if I'm upset about not only abandoning my family, but hearing that they're dead or missing. You've had time to come to terms with the death of your friends. I haven't."

She finally looked up. "I am miserable, Gaage. But you would be too. I am sick all the time. I'm alone all the time. I'm not miserable because I'm with you. I'm miserable because I'm not with you and I'm so scared that something will happen to you one day and I won't be there to save you."

 

[Perrine Urahil]

As much as Perrine wanted to say something witty and aloof, she could not help but look at the two runaways.

And the love they spoke for each other.

It humbled the Urahil, who no longer leaned her tall frame against the entrance way. In all her time healing, teaching, and being at the whim of Felix, her cousin... Perrine had nothing. There was no one to fall into the arms of at the end of a tiring day, or someone to think of.

She was not needed. For the first time, it made her deflate a little. Shoulders falling as she turned back into the home and gathered her medical bags. Ugh. Was she moping now? Perri was so unused to such a feeling, only registering exhaustion in recent times, not... loneliness.

"Fuck." She sighed, shouldering her bags and making her way back out the door.

"Well I might as well make my way back to the Academy. Keep yourself hydrated, Ysobel. Eat enrichment foods too. Good luck on the delivery." She called out, securing her things to the paint supplies still hanging with the saddle of her horse. It was risky coming here, but now that she knew what company was kept here, the risk turned fatal. If any word got out of her involvement here, even if it was to tend to Ysobel, there were repercussions she was not willing to be subjected to.

Gaage Eberwhit Ysobel

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Gaage kept his head lowered and his eyes closed. It was the only way he was able to keep his bubbling emotions in check, and stop them from boiling over and making more of a scene than he already had. Despite his internal struggle, he was listening to what Ysobel said. He understood her pain, and there was more than a little guilt as she rattled off the people she'd lost or fallen out with since leaving the Academy. Hearing about the Dieumut kid was a shocker, even to him. Gaage had only seen him a few times, but he'd pegged the boy as being one of the stalwarts of the next class.

Just what the hell was happening back at that city, anyway? He'd imagined that life would just... go on without he and the others who'd left, but... was that a fantasy? Were things just as fucked there as they were here? Eventually, Gaage slid his eyes open, much of the rage that had filled them gone. He saw now where their disconnect had been, where they'd failed to communicate.

And, try as he might, he couldn't stay too angry with her for long.

"I'm not... as strong as you think I am, Yoh." His lips finally moved, and his head tilted up to face her again. "I haven't come to terms with shit. I beat myself up over what happened over and over again, wondering what I should have done differently. I miss my friends too. Everleigh, Niamh, Henk... Hell, I even miss that creepy ass skull-face girl. Fennec, or whatever."

Gaage takes a few steps forward, closing the distance between them. He reaches out and grasps her hands in his own, bringing them up to his face and pressing his lips gently to her knuckles. "I understand being miserable, missing home. Because I feel the same way. You don't have to write letters to people to get it out of your system, though... You can talk to me about this shit. I... I want you to feel like you can talk to me about it, okay? I'm not expecting sunshine and rainbows, and I'm not expecting you to do anything that I wouldn't do. Just don't shut me out of your feelings. Please."


There was more he had to say, but his head turned at Perrine's announcement of her departure. Quickly, he turned to face the Urahil woman, calling back to her.

"I'd rather you stay just a minute, actually! Wanna have a word with you, Urahil!"

In the event she aimed to deny his invitation, he added.

"Course, I guess I could send a letter to the Academy asking for you to come back, but then they'd know you'd been here in the first place."

A clear-cut offer. Stay and chat, and Gaage wouldn't snitch on her.

Ysobel

Perrine Urahil

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel was frustrated. Frustrated with him. Frustrated with her. Frustrated with everything. She brought one hand up, pressing her fingers firmly between her eyebrows to relieve pressure of the headache coming on. Try as she might, she still could not bring herself to fully forgive him for his part in graduation. She could never know if he was to blame for anyone's death or disappearance afterward, but she still felt the effects of him leaving. The fear that he may one day disappear again, abandoning her and now their child in a world of uncertainty.

"Some of them were still there when I left." She interjected quietly. "They don't all look quite there, but they are safe."

He continued speaking while she listened. Her eyes shifted from Gaage to Perrine and back, down towards the hands he placed his lips on. "I'm not writing to get things out of my system..." She paused. Technically she was writing Zinnia to get the guilt out of her system. But Gaage didn't need to know about that one. "Gaage, I know you are trying to help, but...I don't know...do you feel prepared for any of this? Because I do not. I don't even know where to start with all of this but I figured Perrine would be a good place. She's a medic and I know she would never tell a soul she was here. I trust her, and so should you."

She gave him the time he needed to talk before he addressed Perrine. A brow raised at his request. What business did he have with Perri? She could only wonder. The second half, his threat, only made her more curious as she reached over to lock her fingers in his own, squeezing hard as if to say she disapproved of whatever he was trying.

 

[Perrine Urahil]

"I'd rather you stay just a minute, actually! Wanna have a word with you, Urahil!"

Perrine frowned, deeply. It was obvious what House she was born to, was it not? Easy to remember her as a Urahil than to remember her name, but she was the daughter of the spare. Cannon fodder if need be.

"Course, I guess I could send a letter to the Academy asking for you to come back, but then they'd know you'd been here in the first place."

Now her eyes narrowed, staring at Eberwhit. She briefly recognised him from her short Academy days, but nothing more.

"You could do that, if you would like. I think I would get in less trouble if I was to promise to lead interested parties to a known deserter." She countered, arms crossing as she rounded from her horse to stand feet away from the young couple. Where she had treated Ysobel like an old friend, a sister even, Perrine regarded Eberwhit with caution. There were stark memories of him from their time as Initiates, and even tidbits heard during her service as a Dreadlord Healer.

"Well then. Let us hear what you have to say." A blonde brow quirked as she stared at the red headed male, standing her ground despite it not being familiar to her.

Gaage Eberwhit Ysobel

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Gaage winced at the sudden grip of iron clamping down on his hand. Ysobel was giving him that look... the one that told him he'd better be damned careful of what he said next if he didn't want a couple hundred volts shooting up his arm. Not that he'd let that stop him before. "Relax." He smiled at her. "It's called a bluff. I just wanted her to stick around for a minute."

He didn't have anything to gain from ratting the Urahil out. Hell, it probably stood to cost him more than anything else. Just as she'd said, the Republic would fixate more on the 'wanted criminals' than they would the well-meaning proctor trying to talk them down.

Regardless of his anger over her presence and his worries over Ysobel, one thing had been made perfectly clear to Eberwhit, and that was that Yoh trusted this lady. Ysobel was a lot of things, but Gaage didn't consider her to be too trusting of strangers. If this Urahil's presence helped at all to alleviate some of the stress that the mother of his child was dealing with, he owed her at least some modicum of respect.

"And honestly, Yoh? I'm terrified. I feel like I'm flying blind. But I am prepared. I'm ready to tackle this headfirst because I know I've got you with me."

It was when Perrine stood before them again, arms crossed and face twisted with indignance at his threat that he extended his hand to her.

"I want to thank you. For being there for Yoh when I wasn't."

Ysobel Perrine Urahil

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel scowled and stomped on Gaage's foot. "You could have just asked Perri to stick around, you know. She is far beyond threats. And, I happen to like her. I'd like to hope the feeling is mutual and I would like to keep it that way." She whisper-yelled at him. She looked toward Perrine, an apologetic look plastered across her face. "Let us not lead anyone to anyone else. Please."

One more stressful situation and she was sure she'd pull out every hair on her head.

Terrified and flying blind. Ysobel couldn't have said it better herself. She only wish she had contact with her former classmate, Kor, so that she could ask how he did it. There had to be some trick to make everything okay again, but Ysobel did not know braille and would never find out.

"You don't have to leave, Perri. We have room if you would like to spend a night. It's the least I can do to thank you for coming all the way out here for something so simple."

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Perri cut her gaze between Ysobel and Gaage, narrowing her eyes in thought.

"You both need to work on your hosting manners." She finally decided to note. With a sigh she relaxed her form, shaking her hair to fall from her shoulders and to cascade down her back. "Then one night I shall stay. Thank you, Ysobel."

The Dreadlord Healer then looked to regard Gaage, tilting her head. "And will you continue to not be here? I cannot readily leave to come here when she writes to me next." They were in a such a remote area, with no friends or allies nearby to keep an eye one the lonely young woman. "And what is your plan then?"

Gaage Eberwhit Ysobel

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

"You both need to work on your hosting manners."

Gaage didn't make any attempt to hold back the snort of laughter that came to him. "You ain't the first to tell me, and I doubt you'll be the last. Thanks for the reminder though." He wasn't ever going to be a people person, unless the person's name was Ysobel or Zael. Maybe Chasmine, too, if they ever crossed paths again. "But I think I'm doing marvelously, considering I never invited you." Eberwhit adds with a cheeky wink.

He had no objection to Perrine staying, however, and kept his fingers interlocked with Ysobel's, walking back toward the house with her so that perhaps they could have a drink, some decent food, and unwind in the hopes of forgetting the stresses his untimely arrival had dredged up.

Before they could reach the door, Urahil turned back to them once more. She accosted him with a question that she really had no place in asking, something he'd planned on speaking with Yoh about and not this relative stranger.

But... She had helped out. In her own way.

"Actually..." Gaage shrugged. "I planned on retiring once the baby comes. My child is more important to me than the silly little spat between Anir and the dogs they couldn't control. I don't have any desire to be involved in it any longer." Moving again, Eberwhit gently tugs his love with him towards the house, walking past Perrine.

"Now, if you've any more questions, you can ask them after I've had a drink."

Perrine Urahil Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

"I'm sorry." Ysobel apologized, though it appeared to be open to the both of them. Her eyes locked on the ground, fingers intertwined with Gaage's as he led them back towards the their home. It seemed, for now, that everything in her life had some unintended consequence and the only common factor was her. With each thing that brought her some hint of security or pleasure, there were many more that weighed her down. Perhaps that was just the beauty of the autonomy she now had far beyond the walls of the academy.

Something he said piqued her interest, but Ysobel would save her questions. Retiring had never been in her plans. Even now, she yearned to do something, anything. But whatever minimal risk to her life seemed far too much for Gaage. Still, whichever side she was now associated with Ysobel would dedicate herself to. She was born to be a weapon- Anirian or dog. She would never be able to integrate into the normal society. Gaage too, if you asked her.

It was a miracle the gods allowed them to have a child. If they even existed. Hell, more often than not she was questioning that very idea.

Still, she followed his lead and beckoned Perrine to follow along. With a firm look in Gaage's direction, she added "Perrine, feel free to a drink as well." She may no longer have been allowed to participate, but perhaps the two of them relaxing would help Ysobel to relax as well. "It was an open invitation. Perhaps we can enjoy some of the snacks Perrine brought along, too." She faked a bright smile. Of course forcing company on Gaage after work would bring joy to everyone involved. Of course.

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Maybe one day, she could teach at least one of them proper hosting manners.

She knew Ysobel would learn quicker than Gaage.

"Retiring... from following in Gilram's shadow?" Perrine did not speak until they were under the roof of the home the two exiles lived in. "Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that would not go down peacefully."

She had wanted to press with more questions, whether or not there were others that were defecting, or retiring, whatever they wished to call the fact they no longer wished to follow an Archon that was once their saving grace.

Instead, Perrine kicked up a floorboard where she hid some of the treats she had gotten Ysobel. "I decided to hide them somewhere. Hoping it would slow her down some instead of eating it all in one go. Boredom can do many odd things to a person."

Gaage Eberwhit Ysobel

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Gaage's expression noticeably shifted at Perrine's assumption, his eyebrows raising in a blend of confusion and surprise. Gilram was a lot of things, but he wasn't a slave driver. It made him wonder how much they actually knew about the rouge Archon's operation back in Anir, and how much of their fight was blind guesswork. Gaage poured himself a glass of whiskey as he listened with piqued interest, and some clear water for Ysobel. He hadn't told her yet, but Gaage had been toying with the idea of buying some livestock to keep around for eggs, milk, and the like.

Gods, he missed eggs for breakfast.

"Okay. You're wrong." Gaage corrected her with a smirk as he placed Ysobel's glass of water in front of her, holding back the amused snicker that came with the grand reveal of Perrine's hidden stash of sweets and goodies. He'd have to remember that one. "Gilram doesn't want you if you aren't devoted to his cause. The way he sees it, if you don't believe in what you're doing, you won't do it well. He'd rather cut you loose than make a big deal out of it. It's one of the only things I agree with the guy on, if I'm being honest."

As Perrine brought over the snacks, Gaage shamelessly thumbed through them curiously, looking for anything that caught his fancy. A lot of the stuff she'd brought were things he hadn't been able to find since leaving Vel Anir, and to say he wasn't tempted to 'liberate' some of the snacks for himself would be a lie.

"But no... I was thinking maybe the whole 'risking my neck for a war I don't give a shit about' thing wouldn't mix well with fatherhood. 'Course, nothing's for certain. Just... a thought."


Perrine Urahil
Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel accepted the glass of water from Gaage, but quietly observed the conversation between Perri and Gaage before butting in. "So that's why you never let me join you." Her voice was aloof and although she looked hurt, she finally understood his reasoning when he would decline her offers to come along and help. She had begged to join Gaage only so that she could remain near him and feel useful. She had no allegiance to anyone other than him and herself. She still had no idea who or what Gilram even was. How could she be devoted to something that may not even be real?

Her face reddened at Perri's comment. "Are you trying to say that I'm getting fat?" Her eyes were wide, flipping between the blonde and Gaage as he observed the various foods. "You can have some too, you know. I really only wanted the chocolate things. I wasn't going to hoard them all for myself." She huffed before Gaage could continue.

And though she was still concerned over what may happen if he left his new employer, she could selfishly agree with his reasoning. She wanted him here. With her. With them. "Is there really a war?" Her mouth was full of the praline that had been in her hand a moment ago as she spoke. "I didn't realize things were truly that bad. I guess I do not really understand anything that is happening at all between us and..." She trailed off and swallowed. There was no us. She was not a part of anything.

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Doing her best to smile to Ysobel, she felt it better unsaid that a body carrying a child would go through all sorts of changes. She was still young, and perhaps until it started to happen will she reach out to Perrine for clarification.

"Well... Gilram aside, I am glad to hear you wish to be closer and more present to support Ysobel. There will be days she will need assistance, and I cannot be here as often as I would like to be as a Healer. Before I return to Vel Anir, I will give you instruction on what to expect." Truly, it was the way Gaage smirked and told her she was wrong that reminded her of her dearest cousin Felix, and there were only certain times she wished to engage in a discussion with him.

Telling the Rogue he reminded her of a Urahil seemed like it was best not to share.

"There is always a war going on. By how many frontlines I am stationed to visit, begin to lose count of the hours or days." This was her first few days in what seemed like a year, not two months, where she could settle down. Her lessons at the Academy were at a revision point, and she doubted the Initiates used that block of study to go over etiquette. The Guard and Dreadlords by extension, deemed that Perrine be given adequate time to rest before being sent out on active duty again.

All she would like to do in the time she was free was to paint. Ever since her appointment at the Academy, it sapped all creativity from her.

"The Guard have an active patrol going on by the Cortosi border. I am sent there often, delayed by other outposts requiring my healing before I can make it to the West in time." Tired and exhausted, she would return to the Academy and be expected to teach, the Initiates ignorant of the fact she was an active Dreadlord when her absence was celebrated.