Private Tales Whispers of Deceit

[Ysobel]

Caught in a whirlwind of new emotions and a newfound loneliness every time her better half was sent out on a mission for Gilram, Ysobel found herself seeking advice from a person she trusted. The Urahil twins’ older cousin, Perrine- a proctor whom she looked up to as an older sister. A proctor she trusted would keep her secrets and hopefully provide some sort of reassurance as she navigated her new life.

Proctor Perrine,

I hope this letter finds you well. I know this probably seems strange, receiving an anonymous letter in the middle of the night. (That is, if the courier followed instructions…) And I’m sure writing you is not the wisest of decisions. However, I have found myself in a situation that I did not expect to face so early in my life and I have valued your guidance more than you can imagine.

I’m not sure where to begin to be honest.

I have recently discovered that I am pregnant and to be quite honest, this new experience and everything I am experiencing is so unbearably overwhelming. I do not know why this happened to me or how I can even navigate this terrifying journey without my own mother's advice. I am struggling to know everything I should be doing.

I am not asking you to solve everything for me, but rather for advice and perspective. I trust you to be honest with me, after all you have been like an older sister to me since you joined as a proctor. I need sisterly advice that I can no longer seek from the one I am now nothing more than dead to. I am forever sorry for disappointing you and the others, but I am so lonely and I have no one else to talk to right now.

The courier will return upon nightfall tomorrow just beyond the willow tree to the south of the academy if you shall choose to write me back. And please, destroy any evidence of our conversations.

Gratefully,
-(The letter Y was smudged badly and could have easily been mistaken for an L, O, Z, or even an N)

Perrine Urahil

 

[Perrine Urahil]

The letter was a touching one, to play on her heartstrings by calling her a big sister. Perrine was an only child subjected to growing up with her cousins and in turn, attempting to be a sibling to them before eventually being pulled away to go on her way to becoming a Dreadlord.

"What does that even say?" She pondered, squinting to try and make out the letter used to sign off. "E?"

She read the letter back once more, this time paying attention to the words and what it asked of her. Advice? Not just a medical one... but something an older sister would advise. Perrine was not sure where to start! This Initiate, she could only assume, was going to great lengths to keep anonymous, not even remembering what the courier had looked like when they found her office and handed her the letter. They were long gone now, she expected.

Perrine was always better at putting her thoughts to canvas, a paintbrush in hand... but what would a painting do for her? So instead, she sat down at her desk and dipped her quill into the inkwell and blotted it on the edge of the glass. She poised it, ready to start her response.


To the Secret,

To carry life within you is a great blessing, but also one of the hardest things you will face. I do not want to press on what your situation is and whether you have support, but I will ask you to heed my caution when I say that you will need a healthy line to pull you out of any depressive episodes. To write to me is one way, and I thank you for trusting in me.

But first, before I can give the sisterly advice, I have to insist you are eating well! Do not be surprised by the little basket I intend on your trusted courier to deliver. A few little salves and herbs to help you... I will leave their care instructions for you to refer to.

Now... as for my advice...

My own mother, if she were still around and more motherly than I remember her to be, would say that it is your time to be selfish. If the father of the child is in the picture, you must put your foot down and demand there be some consideration on your part. If you are on your own... then I hate to suggest that you do reach out to me to meet. The offer still stands, whether you come to me, or I come to you.

Not only must you stand up for yourself, you must also listen to your body. I will take it that you have no clue the first bit of information on what is happening to your body, but fret not. I have a book from the Dreadlord Healers that I have no use for. Actually... I will rip out the pages necessary for you than subject you to very graphic illustrations of things not to do with pregnancy...


I await your next letter,

Perrine



Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Thank you.

Thank you for replying. Thank you for your gift. And thank you for your…choice of illustrations. I assure you, I was not planning on doing most of those things. Perhaps even after the child is born. I shudder to even think about them still. Of course, I am trying my best to eat well. It has been hard. My favorite foods make me feel worse than that summer when the food had gone rancid in the dining hall. Ha ha. That was probably the last time I’d been as sick as I get now. I’d stolen one of the plant pots from the hall and used it to throw up. I remember how angry the other proctors were. They’d punished me for weeks.

Although the father is in the picture, sometimes I do feel very much so as though I am on my own. I know if I asked he would come but he has missions he must attend to and I cannot stand between him and what is expected of him. I wouldn’t wish for him to be punished on my behalf. And so I spend quite a bit of time alone.

I would love to take you up on your offer. I trust you to keep my secrets. But I cannot expose myself at this time. I cannot stand to see the disappointment on the faces of those I consider my family. My siblings. My friends. I would hate for them to see me as I am. I might as well be dead. For now…

On the other hand, I wouldn’t wish you to put yourself in harm’s way to visit me. Oh dear. That made it sound like I am in danger or an ocean away. Not to worry, I am in good hands and I am closer than you might think.

I hate to ask, but could you send more of those peppermint things. The ones with the chocolate.

-Y (Once again, her signature had smudged as she sealed the letter. This time looking like a Y, G, or O.) A string of whitish-blonde hair stuck to the ink.

Ysobel handed off the letter to the courier who in a rather amusing poof transformed into some sort of bird as he left with the letter in tow.

Perrine Urahil

 

[Perrine Urahil]

The response was quick, and soon Perrine found herself back behind her desk and repeating the same actions in order to write her own reply.

No need to thank me!
Peppermint pralines just happen to be my favourite too! Consider each letter I write to you to be accompanied with them until you write back that you are completely sick of them!

As for being a disappointment, believe me when I say that those that view you in such a way have no idea the burden it is to be you, but only you are strong enough to march on. You know of my family, do you not? They surely do wish that I could rise to Third Rank, but alas, no matter how gifted I am with healing, I will always remain at Fourth Rank.

I also believe that we make our own families, and if the father of your child is called away on missions a lot, then we cannot impede on the duty to Vel Anir. May I ask how many months along you are? I would like you to update me on your condition when you can.

As a Proctor, it is my duty to ensure the health and wellbeing of all Initiates. Coming to me office is not out of the norm, should you wish to do so. Otherwise, the Academy cannot blame me for taking on a mission during my time teaching, as I am still an active member in the ranks. You asked of complete secrecy from me and I shall honour it.

Only if you need me,
Perrine


Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

A few weeks would pass before the next letter arrived.

Perrine,

Your family is proud of you. Believe you me, Leander would be an absolute wreck without you nearby. He will never admit it though. He is a softy underneath all of that ego.

Ysobel found herself chuckling at her memories. The very short time she spent with Leander had been an interesting one for sure.

Certainly, I’d never involve myself in his duty to Vel Anir. Never. That is why, as of now, I leave him to his work. Though I cannot lie in that I would be heartbroken if I found myself alone for the birth. I don’t quite know what I would do. I don’t suppose you have any advice in your books for that. Perhaps a threat will suffice for now.

As for months…I would say over three but no more than four. I’m embarrassed to say I have lost track of time. I get so bored that the days seem to blur into one very long, very boring day. Suppose I should figure that one out.

As always, please burn any evidence that I have written to you,
-Y

Perrine Urahil

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Perrine drummed her fingers against her desk as she stared at the letter to her left. It was almost excruciating to feel frustrated when she only had one suspicion to the identity, but even then, the time was not now to play detective.
She had been asked for advice... and it was a tough call for her role as healer to just sit on the sidelines and not be reassured.


E? O? Today it looks like a Y.
I do not doubt that Leander needs me, as I need him too. Same goes with Odessa. I took this position as Proctor to keep an eye on them because... what if something were to happen to them? After Amoux... it makes you keep the ones you love close by. The family is all I have... and I thought of you last week. To be lucky to have a partner in the picture... and start a new family.

There are always options that are under the radar for girls in your position. Initiates getting pregnant is not new, and there are ways to ensure you and the child are properly taken care of.

But... I must admit I hate to think of the possibility of you being alone when the time comes. A number of things can go wrong... and I hope you all the best that nothing does.

I leave for a week's long mission in the morning. Dreadlord too wounded to make the trip back to Vel Anir so I must go to him.

Keep yourself safe,

Perrine


Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Sometime while Perrine was away, a letter found its way onto her desk where it would sit until she returned.

I do not wish for my child to know the cold embrace of the Dreadlords. Nor do I wish for the Dreadlords to know of his existence. It would be cruel to force the same fate I faced onto an innocent child simply because his parents were members of the academy.

On the other hand, I think I would like to arrange a meeting in the future to examine general health if you are still willing. I will send word when I know of the father's next mission away from home.

I am entrusting only you with this information. Do not make me regret it.

Ysobel

Perrine Urahil

 

[Perrine Urahil]

These letters seemed almost like clockwork, if that clock stopped and started on multiple occasions. Reading the latest correspondence that awaited her on the desk, Perrine almost stumbled at seeing the name signed off at the bottom.

YSOBEL

And here I thought you simply left the Academy. To have a baby?! The Academy can provide the Initiates with the required.... things to prevent such a thing.

I apologise, I had to get that out of my system. Truthfully, I am relieved you are doing well considering that if you truly are left alone, then I cannot help but think of what would happen if something were to go wrong. Forget my family name for a moment, but Ysobel, I would like to make this visit as soon as we can.

If the baby's father has something to say, I will gladly respond to him with my fist before swearing my secrecy.

Your safety is the utmost importance to me,

Perrine



Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel was a whole handful of new emotions, but something in this letter had her cackling. Perhaps it was the threat to her Dreadlord. In her frenzied state, she'd reveal more information than she should have about her whereabouts and circumstances. Though much of the details were lightly scribbled over, it was for the most part entirely legible.

Perrine,

In my defense, I had been in a state of confusion for quite some time- unsure if I would stay after a person I held so dearly was thought to be dead...and after the incident with Larkin. I had only found out on a mission, that he was not dead. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when I was sent to capture him. In the end, I could not...would not do it. He was no threat to the Dreadlords or Vel Anir...anyway...there were no plans to conceive a child and by the time I had figured it out, I had already decided to leave and start anew.

I will approve your visit if you can promise not to punch the child's father in the event that your paths cross. Promise, and I will include a map in my next letter.

Ysobel

Perrine Urahil

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Alright,

I suppose I will behave myself, but anything untoward, then I will act how I see fit. Doctor's orders.

By your words, I could hazard a guess as to who it is you speak of. And fret not with Larkin. Despite my arrival here at the Academy for almost half a year, Larkin's condition has seen great results with daily treatments with my magic. I believe they will send him out on light missions until it is proven he has improved. Any more shock to his body...

I will keep my opinions of the needs of Vel Anir to myself, and even when I do make the trip to see you. I always liked you, Ysobel, and I choose to be grateful you are well and undoubtedly cared for.

For the remainder of this month, I will not be on rotation for healing missions. I will be stuck teaching unwilling Initiates etiquette, but I will happily make the time and pretend I am going on a trip for my artistic muse. Leander and Odessa would be glad I will no longer be immortalising their worst moments to canvas.

Perrine

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel would realize the error of her ways upon receiving Perri's next letter. Ignoring that she had revealed both her name and the father of her child seemed like the best way to go about it. Her next letter would be short and simple.

What a relief that is. I feared that I left Larkin for dead after the accident. Perhaps I will no longer have nightmares of being a murderer.

The father will be gone for four days in the next week. You are free to visit the attached location then if you choose so. I will be waiting. Not much else to do, I suppose.

Y

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Dearest Storm Cloud

Perrine tried to contain her grin at the code name she decided to use.

Is there any requests you would like me to pack for my journey to see you? Anything you miss, or want?

Perrine

 

[Ysobel]

Storm Cloud? Something in Perrine's letter, or maybe it was the HoRmOnEs, had Ysobel tearing up while reading it. There would be a few splotches where her tears mixed with the ink.

She spent an embarrassingly long time pondering Perrine's question, only to reply with two words.

Peppermint Pralines!

 

[Perrine Urahil]

It was a fine morning qhwn Perrine had made her way on a white horse. She was the picture of Urahil excellence, but she needed to give the imagery that she was going to the Falwood to paint and reacquaint herself with normalcy before returning to teaching etiquette.

Did the Academy also not care aboit the Initiates not caring about the class Perri, too, did not care for?

No one batted an eye when she said she would be gone for most of the week.

It took an overnight trip to make it to where Ysobel had mapped out for her. She tied her horse somewhere nearby, starting to unpack the things she had brought with her. The Peppermint Pralines were in perfect condition, and Perrine smiled to herself.

This whole thing was a risk, but Perrine could not go on thinking that Ysobel would be right on her own.


Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

As the day neared, Ysobel's nerves were getting the better of her. Gaage had been a wonderful help, but there was only so much he could do to reassure Ysobel that their child wasn't going to come out with two heads or kill her in the process. Without the regular access to healers at the Academy, she'd be left with only letters from Perri to help guide her. Even then, that took time. Time Ysobel wasn't sure she had to waste.

Gaage had left before the sun rose, giving her just enough time to clean the place up before she would hear the familiar sound of a horse's hooves approaching their home. When they stopped, Ysobel peeked through the peephole, relieved it was Perrine. And she was alone.

She didn't give the older Dreadlord time to catch her breath before swinging the door open and beckoning her into the cabin. She was still dressed in one of Gaage's tops that she had slept in and a simple pair of pants that she could still fit in. "Perrine! Hurry in, please! Come! Come!"

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Perrine did not waste another moment.

With her things either hanging from her arms and tucked between arm and waist, she trudged over to where Ysobel held the door open for her. "Quaint place." Not helpful. Perrine went deeper into the home, something she had not expected to really find out here, and set down her things. Before she stood up to her full height, she picked up the large box of pralines.

"As promised. I went a little overboard, naturally, and you should of seen the sales clerk's face when I placed the order." Perrine smiled. It was the lengths she would of gone to for her cousins, the ones she liked anyhow. When the moment was over, Perri looked over Ysobel with worried eyes.

"Right. You look healthy... besides the shadows under your eyes. You must sleep as much as you can." She started, turning to scoop up another box. "I really had no idea what else to bring along with me, but some cosmetics I thought you might like. There is even some baby gifts too..."

 

[Ysobel]

Quaint place.

Ysobel smiled awkwardly, wondering how to respond to such a…comment…compliment? She figured it was not the latter. The place was still quite obviously not finished. Still, the chairs could be a bit wobbly and the table put one at risk for quite the splinter if they chose to run their hands across the top of it. There was still no attempt made by either Ysobel or Gaage to fashion some sort of bassinet for the baby. But she figured there was time. Lots and lots and lots of time before then.

Something in her told her that it was not a bright idea, bringing a proctor all the way out into the middle of nowhere. Into the safe space they had for themselves in a place untouched by the Dreadlords.

At the same time, she felt relieved. She felt better with the aid of someone she looked up to.

“Oh my…” Ysobel grinned, still standing in the doorway as Perrine unloaded her boxes. She wasn’t sure how she would explain the sudden appearance of packaged treats while he was away. She would simply have to consume them all before then, she figured. And that was a simple enough task for her now.

“Thank you Perri. You really didn’t need to do all of this for me. One box would have been fine,” She ignored the comment about the darkness that had become a permanent addition to her eyes. It was hard to get good sleep when she spent so many hours of the day and night worrying.

She grabbed one of the boxes and opened it, taking one for herself and offering some to Perri as she sat on one of the kitchen chairs. “How is everyone at the Academy doing? The twins? Lumen? Caeso? Zinnia? Are they all well?”

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Perrine knew the boxes and treats would be hard to hide if her discretion had been implied for this visit. The Proctor began to move about the room and test the floorboards, looking utterly foolish, but she grew up with hiding things.

"One box would be ravaged before I am to return to the Academy." She snorted delicately, kneeling to loosen the floorboard that ran under the dining table just as Ysobel had taken a seat at the table and asked about the Initiates Perri taught. One name made her pause, realising how much time had passed since she had been in contact with the Academy. Perrine began to stash some of the things she had brought.

"Odessa is well. Comes to my office most evenings for tea and talking about everyone or the family. Leander... last I saw him he said something about Lumen and then spoke about smooching. I stopped listening at that point." She did not have whisky or gin for that conversation. "Zinnia, she is a sweet one. Her friendship with Initiate Pirian has paid off as she seems to effortlessly pass my classes." Perrine smile despite the name that remained.

She got to her feet and stood, hands going to remove the cloak she wore to fend off the falling snow that morning. She crossed back to the front door, where board of hooks was fixed to the wall. Perrine hung her cloak, and promptly watched the entire thing come off the wall and clatter at her feet.

Quaint.

"Caeso..." Perrine dealt with death differently to others. She had to. As a healer, there were some wounds one could not heal in time.

The Proctor wandered back to table and took the seat in front of Ysobel. She plucked a praline from the box and toyed with it for a moment.

"He was killed. They believed it to be by the elves, but the investigation stopped. His father had moved from Vel Anir... so no one felt pursuing it weeks after Caeso was hung outside the Elven Quarter."

"They investigated so aggressively in the beginning. They started with the Quinnick girl, as she was the last to see him and his date at the dance. Alice..." Perrine could not recall the family she hailed from, but it was not of great import now. "Alice passed by her own doing, but Quinnick insisted that was unlike her. There was so much that did not make sense with the case. I read every report, and Ysobel... oh, I am sorry." The Proctor reached a hand, the one that placed the praline to the side. "I am sorry you had to hear of it like this. I did not know him personally, but I imagine it terrible to lose a friend." Perrine lost many in her time, but she soon got over that.

"If you wished to send letters to any of your friends at the Academy, I strongly suggest you do."

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel watched the proctor rummage around for hiding spaces, nodding idly as she spoke of the classmates. None of the whereabouts of her classmates were particularly shocking or unusual until the conversation turned to Caeso. The color visibly drained from her face as Perrine's words replayed in her head.

He was killed.

"I..." She tried to speak, blinking over and over as the world seemed to become a haze around her.

He couldn't be gone. He was strong and brave and.... "N-no!" It was not possible. She refused to believe it was possible for him to be captured, let alone killed by elves. All the more reason for Ysobel to hold onto the grudge she harbored against all elves.

She held onto the table as she shot up from her chair, but the sudden movements proved too much for the panicking blonde for no sooner than she reached out to grasp the table for support, she would find herself lying on the wooden floor and watching the world fade back into view.

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Perrine could see Ysobel's eye roll back into her head as she stood, and quicker than she thought herself capable of moving, was out of her seat and pushing her way towards the younger girl. She had the table in her way, and that extra obstacle costed her.

She threw herself to her knees beside her, hands instantly on her cheeks as she watched with her eyes and felt with her magic. Perri willed the girl's lungs to work, to feed the air to the brain to help her gain consciousness. As if she had forgotten the delicate condition, Perri then placed a hand gently at Ysobel's stomach, listening.

"You are alright. The babe too." Although her brows did not let up in their deep furrow. "Are you drinking enough water, Ysobel? I can feel how dehydrated you are." Finally, she sighed and gently guided the fainter back to her seat. Perrine kneeled beside her until she was sure Ysobel was functioning properly once more.

"I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend, Ysobel... I never met him, but I always had heard of the Diemut boy. Those memories you have of him, do not forget them. Write them down if you want to. Capturing moments like that... is important. They never die, truly, that way." Learning to paint was a privilege given to her as a noble daughter, but the day she made her first friend at the Academy quickly became the reason she found reasons to commit things to canvas.

"I like to paint and keep a memory unforgotten, because over time you will forget... and one day you revisit that memory. That image... and all those emotions flood through you agan. I had a friend, Rosemarie. She was not from a Great House, nor a minor one. She had the ability to siphon magic and was the best in my class. She was everything they wanted in a Dreadlord, but the day she put her foot down and said not to mutilating the Initiate she was paired off with on the mat... they killed her, and made her an example. If they could do that to the best, imagine what they would have done to me, a shitty healer." Perrine never confided in the twins about Rosemarie.

She never told anyone of the beautiful face with no name in her room back at her family home. Why she was painted in the sunrise, and that she was smiling. Kress, Perri committed that smile to memory.

"I am so scared that one day, someone is going to die and I will break. I will lose myself. If anything were to happen to the twins..." Perhaps she would happily allow Felix to make her perish too. Her role was to watch them, to heal them. To put their lives before her own.

She was an expendable and trusted Urahil.

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

It was Ysobel's own fault that she had fainting spells. It wasn't the first and certainly wouldn't be the last time she held her breath in a moment of panic and only found herself breathing after her head hit the floor. But now, she had to try to be more careful. For her health, but more importantly for Gaage's child.

Same goes for the water she had not been drinking nearly enough of.

Once returned to her chair, she only stared blankly at the healer and listened to Perrine's tales of an old friend and her worries over the twins. She had no reassuring words for the healer. She was silent for far too long with only tears streaming down her face as she bit down on her lips to prevent herself from breaking into loud sobs.
After several minutes she broke the silence.

"At least...no matter how bad you fuck up, you can go back. You can see them all. Whatever is left of them." She wiped at her face with the back of her hand. "People die but a good healer is hard to come by. You can't save everyone and they cannot punish you for that." Her voice was nothing more than a whispered monotone as she spoke. "But I am just a girl born with the ability to harm others. Like most of the others in the Academy. I'm not even the only mage that can control the weather. I'm as good as dead if I ever set foot back in Anirian territory."

She looked the healer up and down. "Or if an Anirian were to find me out here...defenseless without Gaage."

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Perrine lifted a dark blonde brow. "An Anirian such as me?" But she smiled, knowing that despite the secrecy of this home, Perrine was the last person to sell out anyone. She got up and walked around the table, eyes sweeping the room once again before turning to look at Ysobel. "The name Urahil feels like a lie to me. I am not what everyone expects of the Great House, or truly fear Felix, my dearest cousin. I am loyal to myself and the twins. That is all the family I need, and onyl if you endanger their lives will I have to put up a fight."

Although not being a Proctor long, Perrine knew Ysobel the few times they were on the same missions together as Dreadlord and Initate. She knew to go to her first if her name appeared on her list for check ups at the medical centre, and other names she recognised from the twins' mentions. "All I am is a healer... but as a Dreadlord I am worth the lowest rank, but I can tell you I have been on more missions than I can count in the past month in between the classes I teach at the Academy." Classes that were now a joke when she realised taking on a second job would not free up any spare time for herself. The had not gone easy on her.

"I envy you." She admitted quietly. "You have an oasis here. Peace and no responsibility. I... hope you do not mind that I take some time while I am here to paint. I am too exhausted most days to get to it, but I came here for selfish reasons in addition to ensuring your health and the baby's."

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

"Yes, such as you." Ysobel knew it was a terrible idea to reach out and put herself in danger. If Gaage knew, he'd probably be livid at her stupidity. Death was a risk she was, again stupidly, willing to take during some of the worse days for her. She was always one to jump from one conclusion to the next without taking even a second to think. However, she knew Perrine wouldn't hurt her despite being no more than a traitor to Anirians. Arrest her, maybe. But she wouldn't harm a hair on Ysobel's head. "I know you are devoted to the twins. I know you are not the highest rank, but the Academy protects its own."

A soft smile broke through her blank expression. "Within reason."

She was no longer one of them and with that, she lost their protection. Ysobel hoped Perrine had the sense to cover her pretty blonde tracks while visiting the traitor's home.

No sooner after her smile first broke through would it disappear again. "Perrine, there is nothing here to envy. Do you see me? I am sick. I am exhausted. I am fat. I am miserable. And I have lost the people I considered my family." Had she the energy to stand from her chair, she would have continued the tirade while pacing around the kitchen. "You are more of a dreadlord than I will ever be now. A decade of my life is wasted, my childhood gone, my actual family dead. All of it for nothing because I was careless and I screwed up."

 

[Perrine Urahil]

Perrine did not pretend that what Ysobel spoke of what untrue, that she could return home at any time and make up a lie. Suspicions ran high with those that leave and come back, and that was something Perri could not offer protection from. She herself had her fair share of sitting in on interrogations, been there to heal the wounds but not the mind, a detrimental instrument to uncovering lies being held within.

Not everyone could have a steely resolve such as her cousin, Odessa.

"We want different things in the lives we were born into." Perrine leaned back against a wall, shrugging a shoulder. "You lost a life and family, and I selfishly wish for the same." To be born without the burden of the name Urahil. For so much in her life she felt the love and the abandonment it could cause. "We cannot fix what we have been forced into the decisions being made. I do what is asked of me, because I do it out of love for Leander and Odessa. You have a child inside you, Ysobel. Your decisions are not for yourself anymore..."

But there was a way Perri could help the girl. If she truly could not deal with this life, this loneliness....

"If you decide you need more than this new life... then you tell me and I will find a way. It will not be in Vel Anir, but I promise you, Ysobel. I can find a way for you." She had helped her own mother start new in another city, and her father still believed she left them both behind.

Ysobel

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Gaage had only been standing outside of the front door of the cabin for a few minutes, but those minutes had been enough. There were things that Ysobel wouldn't speak about with him, Her regrets, her worries, the pain that came with leaving and knowing you couldn't return. He wasn't sure whether it was because she didn't want him to feel guilty, or if perhaps she just didn't trust him completely.

Either way, what she spoke stung.

Did she resent him so? Would that be what she wished? For this stranger to whisk her away, to vanish from his life just like Delaney did? The question hung in the air, and Gaage's hand paused over the handle of the door, fear keeping his hand from turning it.

Slowly, he felt himself opening the door, heard his boots against the floor as he stepped inside to look at the pair of them talking.

Eberwhit wasn't even upset about the intruder. Sooner or later, somebody would have come across this place. He'd rather it be somebody that Yoh seemed to know than a total stranger, or worse, somebody looking to turn them in. This woman... she was Anirian. Based on the pair of names she'd just thrown out, she was an Urahil, no less.

The thick tension of silence built between them all for a moment, Gaage wearing an expression of both conflict and a bit of pain.

"I didn't realize that was how you felt about this. About me." He finally muttered, more to the air than to Ysobel directly. "This was... all some kind of mistake? A 'screwup'?" Sure, she hadn't directed that towards him, but one couldn't separate her situation from Gaage Eberwhit. They were irreversibly tied. Gaage nodded, looking towards the floor of the entryway for a moment as he dropped his bag on the ground. There was no rage in his voice, nor sadness.

Just... confusion. "I never forced this on you, did I? I didn't ask you to run away, didn't want you to 'ruin your life' for me." She'd come to him, insisted on running away and staying with him, and now she bemoaned how miserable she was. Complained that she had no family. Perhaps he'd been living in a fantasy, thinking that maybe he was in that category now, that they were starting their own family here.

"All of it for nothing." He echoed bitterly with a small nod. "I'm... I'm going to leave you two to talk, I think. It does seem I'm the problem here."

Taking in a sharp breath, Gaage turns and exits again.