Private Tales The Starling and the Bear

[Isla]

The Lady stared at Isla with a burning threat in her eyes, but Isla only offered a sheepish grin as she was ushered across the room.

The breath had been knocked out of Isla as she passed the threshold of the brothel and stepped, for the first time into the streets, a free woman. The thought of that alone brought tears to her eyes that she wiped away with her free hand and Lynus' jacket sleeve. "Wow..." She whispered, shutting her eyes for a moment as he dragged her along, taking in the fresh scent of night hitting her nose. She hadn't realized how much she missed it- the breeze, the crisp air, the scent of whatever had been cooking in shops and taverns.

The scents and sounds hit her with the memories she had from childhood from late night walks with her mother and father through the streets when the weather was nice and they chose not to take a carriage. She could feel her mother's hands slide over her eyes as a woman called from a window or as guards tried to break up a fight in the street. She could feel her father squeeze her hand in the way Lynus did, just before he would point out some boring landmark and tell her the memories he had walking through the streets as a child.

Gods, for a moment, she wished he had not gone insane and drank himself to death. She missed him.

"Oo-" She slammed into Lynus before he maneuvered the both of them and had her pressed against the wall with his face hovering over hers. It was fortunate, that her ears caught the clicking of the guardsmen's boots on the stony walkway before she was in their sight. If she hadn't she may have shoved Lynus off and kicked him between his legs. This was not going to be their first kiss.

But she had heard them, and the look in Lynus' eyes told her to play the part. And so she would. Through the slit in her dress, she lifted a leg so that her bare skin shone in the flicker of the street lamps as she wrapped it around his own leg, pulling him closer to her. Look the part. She stiffened as the guard spoke, her skin burning from humiliation that she should have been used to.

Click. Click. Click.

She held onto him until the shoes had faded. "I see the look in your eye." She whispered, still hovering close to his face. "Don't be stupid." Was all she said before dropping her arm and leg and continuing along in their walk. After some time, she spoke again.

"Where are we going?"

 

[Lynus Anireth]

His lips twitched as Isla understood what his intentions were, and were not. Feeling her leg wrap around his, he swallowed - his gaze dropping for the briefest of moments to glimpse the bare skin of her thigh around his, before their bodies were flush against one another. Fuck. His pulse struck a staccato in her chest, his skin warming. He'd put it down to anger, but that was only half true.

A quiet breath shuddered free as he listened to the men leave, and as she commented on the look in his eye he frowned, about to defend his innocence when he realised what look she had been referring to. "No.." he huffed, glancing after the guards. "Not tonight, anyway.." he muttered, and took her hand once more.

He felt like a fucking teenager, running around the streets with a beautiful woman, but he couldn't deny the enjoyment in it.

"It's not far." he answered and looked down at her with a smirk. "When I was a child, I ran away from home.. once or twice." he laughed under his breath at the understatement. "Bess found me the first time, I was lost. She owns a cosy little inn, and she makes the best damned stew you've ever tasted." he mused. "So every time I ran away, I ran here. She let me stay for a while, gave me supper, and sent me home."

He told her more as they walked, the streets quiet enough for him to be a little more at ease. Soon enough, they came to a quaint little inn, blooming flowers potted outside, the windows glowing with warm firelight, and a sign creaking above the door.

The Prince's Crown.

"Here we are." he smiled fondly, and ushered her inside. It was quiet, thankfully, one man sat dozing in an armchair by the fire, and a jolly, plump little woman was dusting, looking to the door as the bell above it announced their arrival.

"AH! My boy!!!" the woman bellowed, throwing down her duster and throwing her arms wide open as she rushed to him to gather him into the tightest hug. The man by the fire had about shit his pants and was cursing like a sailor to have his snoozing interrupted.

"Hello, Bess." he laughed and hugged her back with a look to Isla to be prepared.

"Where have you been?! It's been, what, two Summers since I've seen your handsome face!" she stepped back, taking said face in her hands and slapping his cheek. "Good to see you haven't lost your good looks! Hah!" she grinned, and drew her attention to Isla, her smile only widening.

"Ah and who is this stunning young lady?" she asked, looking Isla over and nudging at Lynus' ribs. "Sheeee's a pretty one. My my. Well, he doesn't normally bring lady friends to visit old Bess." she chuckled. "I suppose you'll be staying the night?" her brows rose.

"A couple of nights, perhaps. And please tell me there's stew."

 

[Isla]

Isla only managed to roll her eyes at his quiet utterance, but she kept her opinions to herself. He couldn't break the nose of every man in the god-damned city...even if she did find it strangely endearing. It had been far too long since someone pretended to care about her. Isla had forgotten just how good it felt. Genuine or not.

"You ran away?" Isla chuckled, slowing their pace to blend in with the pace she expected people typically walked with, and as an excuse to enjoy his story. "Was that before or after nearly burning down your mother's kitchen?"

She enjoyed more of his stories, sharing very few of her own, as they walked. She found his infinitely more exciting than hers. As an only child for so long, her parents doted on her when convenient. She had only run away once and unlike Lynus, who spent his in an inn, she had the brilliant plan to live in a tree in her own garden. It took four and a half hours of her father threatening to cut it down before she gave up and rejoined her family. By the time she had finished that story, they had stopped in front of a door.

Here we are.

His smile was infectious. Especially when the older woman ran to greet him and that smile only seemed to grow. This was a different person than the one she had met weeks ago. Isla found herself smiling as well while she scanned the room. She couldn't glance at him or she worried her heart may burst with how adorable he looked, blushing while the woman hugged him.

Who is this stunning young lady?

Her eyes locked back onto the both of them when Bess began to address Lynus about her. "My name is Isla," She extended a hand to the woman. Her stomach grumbled when Lynus mentioned the nights they'd be staying and the food that she had been smelling. Gods, Isla realized that it had been ages since she had a proper meal. Her Lady, former Lady, kept all the girls on a strict diet. Only enough food to keep them pretty. Which Isla had figured meant nearly skin and bones. It was a miracle that she still managed to have some of her appetizing curves while other places were so bony.

She glanced between the two and asked, "I don't suppose you have a room with two beds, do you?" She gave a sheepish smile to the both of them. One that hoped would express that she was some prudish virgin girl who was waiting for marriage before she would lay beside her man and not that she was hesitant to share a bed with her nameless companion, even if she did already long to feel his arms wrapping her again.

 

[Lynus Anireth]

The woman scoffed at the sight of Isla's hand extending toward her, and instead opened her arms to pull her into the same, warm hug she'd greeted Lynus with. "Welcome, my dear! Isla. What a pretty name. Suits her eh?" she grinned at Lynus who rubbed at the back of his neck with a quiet laugh.

"Aye, it does."

Neither Lynus nor Bess gave any indication of judgement for Isla's request, Bess only threw her hands up in delight. "Yes yes of course! Only my best suite for m'boy and his lady friend." she gave a happy little wiggle and beckoned for them to follow her. There were a few small rooms along the hallway, and only one at the top of the stairs.

"Up there now, off you go and settle in. Renly will be up soon with your supper." she smiled broadly, looking between the two and shaking her head with a sigh, as though she was watching her own child grow up right before her eyes. Lynus squeezed at her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"You're the Bess.." he smirked, and led Isla up to their room.

The room was as quaint and cosy as he'd described it to be. The hearth had been lit, a single plush armchair and sheepskin rug sitting in front of it. A small table and two chairs sat before the window, an empty wooden bathtub in the corner and a few flickering candlesticks stuck into old wine bottles were dotted the room. Both feather beds had an array of cushions and soft blankets, and a small pile of books and fresh vase of wild flowers sat on the dresser.

Lynus sighed quietly. It was not the extravagance that he was used to, but somehow this place made him happier than most rooms in the keep ever had. "Home sweet." he smiled at her and closed the door behind them.

 

[Isla]

"I- OH!" She fought hard to flinch, to recoil from another stranger's touch. Only Lynus' bright smile helped her fight the terror that flashed across her own face. It was an effort to force her body to relax and accept the crushing embrace from Bess. She could not hide the hint of pink on her cheeks when they...when he agreed with the compliment. "Thank you."

Thank god. Isla released the air she'd been holding in her lungs when she was released. Thank god for that and thank god this woman had a room with two beds, even while her tone implied that they would not need both. Isla could ignore that because for the first time in so many years, she was grateful for a strangers existence. For two strangers existences.

She followed along beside Lynus, subconsciously reaching out to grip his hand in excitement. For food, for a roof over her head, for her freedom from that hell-hole she'd been living in. Isla owed him the world and more.

"Its lovely," She stepped through the door and passed by Lynus as she explored the room. While he thought it lacked the extravagance he was accustomed to, Isla felt the opposite. It was so very different from her room in the brothel. While her room was barren, aside from essentials, this place was full of things that clearly had been well loved. The window here was bright and offered a view of the surrounding city. The one from her old room had bars, as though she were some sort of prisoner. Isla figured it was a method to keep her, not from escaping, but rather throwing herself from it to the streets below. Not that she'd ever had the chance to try.

She had never been brave enough anyway.

"It certainly feels like a home." She walked towards the empty tub, running her fingers along it before she moved towards the window again.

She placed her bag on the little table, clinking metals as the bag settled. "I should find a pawn shop tomorrow. Get rid of all of this so I can repay you for the nights here. At least half of it." And so she could rid herself of the gifts from Nathaniel.

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus' gaze dropped to the hand she squeezed, feeling her excitement in it, and he huffed a quiet laugh. He smiled at her as he squeezed back, melting just a little at how ridiculously adorable she was.

He watched her wander around the little room, his gaze soft, hoping she liked it, and he nodded in agreement at her verdict. "Bess always makes it feel like a home."

He pulled out both chairs at the table and sat casually in one of them, a brow quirking quizzically at the jangling bag she'd brought. "Pawn, huh?... Well, there's no need to be getting rid of anything sentimental. Besides, I stole you away; it's only right that I pick up the cost. Bess knows I'm good for it," he shrugged. "You won't be needing to pay me anything."

"Perhaps you can treat me some other time." he mused with a soft smile.


He settled back in his chair, feeling a sense of calm wash over him. It was a rare feeling, one he seldom experienced anymore, but watching Isla in this cozy room, seeing her explore and marvel at the small comforts, made him feel like he had done something right for once.

A soft knock on the door interrupted them, and a wiry young man, Renly, stepped in with a tray carrying two steaming bowls of stew, a basket of fresh bread, and a bottle of wine with two cups. "Evenin' ser, madam.." Renly greeted as he shuffled to set the tray on the table.

"Thank you, Renly." Lynus nodded, and reached to take the wine and fill both cups.

As the door closed behind Renly, Lynus sighed deeply. This simple act of sharing a meal with Isla, in a place that felt like home, was a soothing balm to his weary soul.

 

[Isla]

"She does." Isla smiled, sitting down in the other chair. "Its been far too long since I've felt anything like a home," She admitted, fiddling with the strap of her bag. "I didn't realize how much I had missed it. For a while, after leaving home, I felt so lost. Then I was just bitter. It took years to come to terms with everything." She supposed she never felt okay in all that time.

She blushed at the suggestion she treat him some other way, but she was sure it was all innocent. He had never intended to meet her that first day. And even now, he had yet to hold her in a way that made her wish to put her mind elsewhere. "Ha, ha." She rolled her eyes when their food was brought in.

She thanked Renly and waited for him to leave before she could continue her thought.

"I thought you meant to take me from a life of bedding strangers." She chuckled at her own dark humor as she opened the wine, filling each cup. "Believe me, none of this is sentimental. I'd like to never think of it again. At least let sell it so that I might buy a few new outfits." Isla had yet to remove Lynus' jacket.

And she would not until the last candle had been blown out and she could hide under the blankets of her bed. "I worry the clothing I do have might be grounds for my arrest." She took a spoonful of the soup, "Mmmm." She moaned at the taste of real food before she continued.

"I don't suppose Bess has a robe I could borrow for the night..." She prayed the woman had anything she could use to sleep in.

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus choked on his wine as she spoke of bedding strangers, his head shaking while his fist thumped against his chest. He looked at her with a flash of panic in his eyes. "That's..." he coughed, cheeks flushing with colour that had nothing to do with choking. "Not what I meant." He assured, his embarrassment evident. "I meant dinner, maybe, one day." He added sheepishly and swallowed.

He composed himself, looking at her with every bit of sincerity he could muster. "From now on..." he said firmly, "you do what you want, when you want to."

The confusion at her mention of clothes possibly being grounds for arrest flashed across his face briefly before he cleared his throat and nodded. Ah.. "I'll ask her... If not, you can have my shirt back." He smirked, finding the sight of her in his jacket just as endearing.

Lynus settled into his meal, savoring every bite of the hearty stew. He ripped off pieces of bread, dipping them into the rich gravy with pure joy. He watched Isla with a gentle smile as she seemed to savour it too.

"There's a clothiers across the street. I'm sure they'll sort you out with some clothes tomorrow." He said, lifting his wine. "But for tonight, let's just enjoy this. No worries, no plans, no bedding strangers... Just, a little fucking peace and quiet.." He raised his cup to her in a toast, his eyes shining with a rare contentment.

 

[Isla]

You do what you want, when you want to.

Isla was unsure what to make of this. It had been far too long since she had been given free reign to do whatever she pleased and even then, Isla had only been a child before her freedom had been stripped away. But he said he'd stolen her. She was his for the time being and she had no intention to just up and leave without reason to do so. She hoped the feeling was mutual and this was not his attempt to put her back on some sort of track. She hoped he was not feeding her and housing her just to let her go in the middle of the street to find her own way back into normal society.

The food was fantastic. Even for someone who'd been given the finest foods and drinks in her youth, there was something about the food here that her own chefs could not compete with. Something about the entire place that was so much more inviting than the manor she grew up in. A home where she had a wing to herself, where she was lucky if her mother heard her crying from night terrors. A home where she never did. Though, Isla could not hold it against her forever. There had always been some maid around the corner to console her and treat her more like a child than they did.

She raised her cup, echoing him as she did so. "Peace and quiet. Gods how I have missed them." She clinked her cup against his and took a small sip. She would not get drunk tonight. She wanted to remember this place. She wanted to remember his face in the candlelight, the way he looked so different to the day she had met him. He looked. . .less miserable. Yes, that was it.

She figured she must have looked less miserable as well, grinning ear to ear as she scarfed her food down like a half-wild animal. She couldn't help it. She needed this, all of it or she may very well have let herself rot away in that horrible room back in the brothel.

There had been little conversation while she stuffed her face but after they'd each finished a bowl, Isla sat leaning back against her chair where she stared at Lynus for too long. She was studying him. "You need a name." She stated, leaning forward so the front legs of the chair hit the ground again. But Isla was not asking for the name he'd been given by his parents. She should trust him, but there was still uncertainty. He could, and may leave her to fend for herself as soon as it became convenient.

"Is there a name you like?"

 

[Lynus Anireth]

He watched her eat with a mix of amusement and satisfaction. The way she devoured the food, as if starved not just for sustenance but for something deeper, made him appreciate the moment even more, as though she was rediscovering her freedom and simple pleasures such as a meal cooked with care. For a while, they ate in comfortable silence, though he found it difficult to focus on his meal whilst she clearly enjoyed her so much.

When she leaned back and stared at him, he met her gaze, curious about what she was thinking. Her next words surprised him, but he understood, and he considered her question, swirling a piece of bread around the bottom of his bowl.

"A name I like.." He mused aloud, his brow furrowing. "Obviously it has to be manly and strong.." he bobbed his head, as though that went without saying. "Like, Cain or Thor or.. Bear." he puffed his chest, and snorted.

"I don't know.. I already have a name. You pick one, what do I look like I should be named?.." he smirked at her as he took another small sip of his wine. He had no interest in getting himself drunk either.

 

[Isla]

"Uh huh..." Isla rolled her eyes, laughing at the suggestion it must be manly and strong. But she did like one suggestion, not for the same reason that he suggested. "I wouldn't pick a big, strong, and manly name for you." Her eyes were bright with amusement. "Even if you are a mercenary."

She, too, sipped at her wine. "Bear. I like Bear." She grinned. "It suits you. Strong and manly, sure. You can tell yourself that every time I call for you." Her shoulders shook while she tried to fight off more laughter. "But in my head, I'm calling you a big teddy bear." Maybe he wouldn't find it as amusing as she did, but there was something so comforting in the way they held one another back in her old working-room. Something in him that did remind her of how safe she felt in her youth when she had plush animals in her bed and not strange men.

He had provided her the warmth and solace she needed...

And something in his eyes, when she stared for long enough, seemed to wrap her in a cozy blanket of affection and protection.

"You cannot get upset. You chose the name!" She crossed her arms over her chest and cackled. "Bear!"

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Fuck, her laughter was music to his ears. He grinned with a challenging quirk of his brow.

Lynus was the one who was laughing next, a genuine warmth spreading across his features at her suggestion. His suggestion, but different, very different. "It sounds far less ferocious when you say it." he mused. "Bear it is." he agreed with a chuckle, finding unexpected fondness in his new moniker. If he could be any sort of comfort to her, then he'd happily take it.

"And what about you? It's only fair that you have a new name too." he smirks, crossing his arms and leaning on the table, his gaze soft as he takes her in. "Starling." he suggested, a songbird, of course, but a symbol of grace, resilience and adaptability. All things he admired about her.

"What do you think?" he asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

 

[Isla]

"Of course it does! I'm not very ferocious, am I?" She feigned a look of shock as she laughed, but the shock did indeed feel real to her. It started as a hesitant laugh, as if she had forgotten what it felt like to experience joy. But the hesitance subsided and melted with his own to feel like the best release in the world. Her deep navy eyes no longer looked so dull, burdened by the shadows of her past. The way the candles lit her face, she looked younger. Dark circles didn't seem so dark. And when she threw her head back to cackle, she lost all semblance of the traumatized girl he'd stolen from the Lady.

If only for a moment, she let herself feel it all.

She wiped the tear streaming down her rosy cheek while he spoke. "A new name for me? But you already know my name!" She let him speak, though and quieted her giggling as the name hung in the air. Starling.

She searched his face for any hint of mockery or pity and found nothing but sincerity and admiration in his eyes after gifting her a name with such a heavy meaning. One that Isla personally found it hard to believe applied to her. Her initial reaction was that of surprise. Maybe confusion as well. No one, for ten grueling years, had considered her anything but a commodity or a victim.

Starling.

The name felt foreign. Much too grand for someone who had spent years so powerless, and so unwilling to try. Too grand for a girl who chose to block out the world and accept her fate instead of fighting back. A girl who had been turned bitter and mean, who intentionally hurt the one person willing to save her.

Her eyes glistened with tears when she looked back up at him, realizing that he saw something different in her- something she struggled to recognize in herself. He did not define her by her past, she realized. Her smile broadened. She nodded, accepting the nickname. Accepting that she could redefine it all and embrace herself as someone who could be resilient, adaptable, and free.

"Starling it is." Through tears she picked up her cup, toasting to the pair of them. "To the starling finding her freedom and the bear finding his strength." It was unbelievably corny, but she loved it.

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus watched her laughter blossom, a sweet, beautiful sound that filled the room and seemed to wash away the shadows of her past. A burden momentarily lifted. It was all he'd hoped for in bringing her here, and it was a sight he knew he'd cherish forever.

As she wiped the tear from her rosy cheek, her laughter subsiding, he couldn't help but smile. "You're more ferocious than you think." he said quietly, the sincerity in his voice unmistakable.

He saw the surprise and confusion in her eyes as she considered the name he'd given her, the way she searched his face as though he might be being cruel. But there was no sign of mockery, only admiration and a deep-seated belief in her potential, his unwavering gaze insistent on her worthiness. He saw a woman who had endured unimaginable hardship yet still had the capacity for joy, for hope, for a future unshackled by her past. She had already broken free of her cage.

'To the starling finding her freedom and the bear finding his strength.'

Lynus's smile broadened as he lifted his cup, meeting her toast with a determined nod. "To the starling and the bear." he echoed, clinking his cup against hers. "May we both find what we seek and more." He took a sip, his eyes never leaving hers. Yes, he saw her, and she was more bright and more beautiful to him than she realised.

Lynus set down his empty cup and leaned back into a stretch, the hearty meal and wine leaving him pleasantly sated. The toll of sleepless nights weighed on him, and he stifled a yawn with the back of his wrist.

"Here," he said, standing up and beginning to unbutton his shirt. He smirked as he handed it to her. "To sleep in." He kicked off his boots, his movements heavy with the weariness he could no longer hide, and he wandered over to the nearest bed and flopped onto it with a contented sigh, his body sinking into the cushions and soft mattress.

His eyes closed, a small smile lingering on his lips, feeling a sense of peace he hadn't known in a long time. For the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to relax, trusting in the safety of their little refuge.

 

[Isla]

She felt a warmth overcome her while the sound of their cups clinking hung in the air. It wasn't the alcohol, no. But she could not place the feeling. She wondered if it was her exhaustion, too, beckoning her to bed. Yes, that must be it.

She yawned, a few stray tears falling from her sleepy eyes were wiped away quickly with her hand. "Thank you," She accepted his shirt, but refused to look anywhere below his jaw after he stripped down. "For everything. The food, for Bess, thank you." She rubbed at her eyes and stood from the table. Her movement was slower, more deliberate, but less coordinated, as she stumbled over to whichever area of the room seemed darkest and blew out a few candles on the way.

She hoped Lynus' eyes would remain closed as he lay so that he might not witness Isla as she removed his jacket and her own less-than-holy choice of clothing. For a reason that she could not put into words, she did not want him to see her in a way that so many had. But, as she walked back over, dragging her dress along the floor and ditching it on a chair, she wanted to be wrapped in his arms again. But she could not bring herself to disturb his peace.

She rubbed her eyes and yawned once more before collapsing on the bed beside his. Her body relaxed as the mattress warped around her body, the weight of the day- their actions- finally pressing down on her.

She was free. Free.

As he breathing grew deeper, more rhythmic, she couldn't fight the smile on her own face. Each exhale seemed to exchange tension for weariness as the world blurred around her and the irresistible pull of sleep lulled her into her gentle surrender. "Goodnight, Bear."

 

[Lynus Anireth]

"You're welcome." he replied softly, his voice laced with genuine affection. "For everything."

He listened to her stumble around in the darkness, respecting her need for privacy by keeping his eyes closed and pretending to drift off as she changed. The quiet rustling of her dress being discarded and the soft padding of her feet as she walked back to the bed were the only sounds breaking the stillness.

Lynus opened his eyes slightly, watching her settle into the bed beside his. She looked peaceful, and he couldn't help but smile before his eyes closed again.

"Goodnight, Starling," he whispered, his voice barely audible but filled with warmth.

Sleep claimed him fast and pulled him deep.

He found himself standing in a vast meadow, bathed in golden sunlight. In the distance, a majestic tree stood tall, its flowering branches reaching for the sky. Underneath its canopy, Isla danced freely amidst the falling petals, her laughter ringing out like music on the breeze. She wore a flowing white dress, and her joy was palpable.

Lynus smiled as he moved to join her, feeling the pull of her happiness. But as he stepped forward, he found heavy chains wrapped around his ankles and wrists, binding him to the ground. Panic surged through him as he struggled against the iron bonds, his eyes locked on Isla's radiant figure.

Isla, unaware of his plight, continued to dance, her movements graceful and free. Birds flew around her, their songs mingling with her laughter. The meadow seemed to come alive with color and light, whilst thick shadow fell over him.

Lynus tried to call out, but no sound escaped his lips. The chains tightened, and he fell to his knees, unable to reach her. He could only watch her, and despite his captivity, a sense of peace washed over him. He smiled despite it all as Isla spread her arms and embraced the world, her spirit unchained and soaring.

He noticed a dark movement at the edges of the meadow. Wolves, sleek and menacing, began to close in, circling around Isla though she seemed blissfully unaware of their presence. Their eyes glowed with a predatory hunger, growling and snarling as they approached her.

Lynus' heart pounded in his chest. He struggled desperately against the chains, his muscles straining as he tried to call out a warning, but his voice remained silent. The more he fought, the tighter the chains became, and more wolves appeared, emerging from the shadows.

The wolves formed a tight circle around Isla, their growls growing louder and more aggressive. Lynus' panic intensified. He pulled with all his might, his wrists and ankles bleeding against the unyielding iron. Just as the wolves lunged toward Isla, everything seemed to slow down. Lynus' silent scream tore through him as he strained against the chains.

In a sudden, violent motion, all the wolves pounced at once.

Lynus jolted awake, his heart racing and breath coming in gasps. The room was still dark, the only sound he could hear was his own ragged breathing as he struggled against the lingering dread the dream had left behind. He dragged a hand down his clammy face, turning to make sure she was still there, still safe.

 

[Isla]

Isla had not dreamed since the night she left her family. She had become a remarkably light sleeper since then, awoken by the slightest of movement and the quietest of noises. To her disappointment, tonight seemed to be no different.

As a child she had been plagued by night terrors. From the moment she could dream, she also could not. It was why her mother had her belongings moved so far away from her and her father's. She tried to console her for months, rocking Isla in her bed while she screamed that the woman who held her was a monster. She cried that she wanted her mother and would not settle until she had cried or screamed herself back into exhaustion. It hurt her mother more than Isla could ever know. She was only a child, no more than a toddler after all, when it began.

The nightmares infiltrated her life and Isla often woke up still exhausted, blurring the line between wakefulness and slumber. She began to fear the things around her.

The garden she spent her days playing in merged with her dreams into a withered, decaying wasteland. The great tree at the back, the one she had climbed over and over, seemed gnarled and twisted. The flowers she wove into flower crowns had wilted. The laughter of her parents turned into howling winds that threatened to sweep her off her feet if the skeletal hands below her did not wrap around her ankles and pull her down into the dying earth.

She would awaken from one nightmare and find herself back in her room. Isla would listen to the rain tap on her window and let it calm her down so that she might fall back asleep. She would wait. And wait. And wait. Looking back at her window, she would see that water had risen from the storm and covered half of her window. The glass would shatter and she would turn to the door as she heard a scream.

Water filled her room, rising from the floor below and pouring in through her window. Isla screamed and stood in the middle of her bed, waiting for someone to run in and save the tiny girl from the rising water. As the water breached the surface of her bed, she would look down and find the water was pitch black and thick like ink. And so, so warm. Like blood. When she finally noticed the faces of those she loved swirling around in the black waters, warm arms would always pull her out of it. "Issie! Come on," Sobbing, Isla grabbed onto her nursemaid as she pulled her from the terrors. "It was only a dream, Issie. You're alright..."

Lynus' ragged breathing woke her up long before he had awoken himself. Isla crept from her own bed towards his and sat on the edge, stroking his arm. "It's only a dream," She whispered over and over until he came to. "You're alright." She gave him a moment to wipe his face before she wrapped her arms tightly around his sweaty body. "You're okay, Bear. I'm here."

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus let a trembled breath spill free as her arms wrapped around him. “Did I wake you?..” he asked regretfully, shifting to allow her more room beside him.

His heart continued to hammer in his chest, the last image of the dream still fresh on his mind, the snarls still ringing in his ears.

An arm wrapped around Isla, holding her against him as the other reached to comb into her gossamer hair with another steadying huff. He dipped his chin to press a kiss atop her head. “Thank you.” he whispered into her hair, the words thick with gratitude.

It had been a while since anyone had comforted him.

"Go back to sleep.." he murmured softly, his voice barely above a whisper, but infused with a warmth and tenderness that belied the nightmares that had chased him. He held her a little tighter, finding solace in her closeness, as the rhythm of her breathing began to steady his own.

 

[Isla]

"Don't you worry about me," Isla's reassuring smile glowed softly in the moonlight as it poured into the room. She held onto him even after he wrapped his own arms around her and pulled her close, listening to his heartbeat thunder through his chest. His skin was the warmth to her own iciness and she cherished it, slowing her breaths to lull him into doing the same as her nursemaid once did to her. "I was already awake." It was a white lie, she supposed, but it would not harm him.

She nuzzled her head into his chest as he stroked her flaxen locks. "I will, but only after you are back asleep, alright?" She felt him squeeze her a little harder before his breath settled and he seemed to relax. She finally allowed her own body to relax when she sensed he had finally succumbed to his exhaustion once again. Before she joined him, she placed one gentle kiss in the center of his chest and leaned her forehead against the spot.

---

Isla woke slowly after the sun had risen sending hazy morning sunbeams through the windows to scatter over the floor and cast a soft glow throughout the room. Some time during her slumber, she had thrown one leg over Lynus' own legs, wrapping herself around him. She shifted a bit as she felt his warm body held tightly against hers. She smiled, nestling deeper into his arms and savored the steady rhythm in his chest. It was a far cry from the thundering panic she'd heard just a few hours ago.

With her free hand, she lazily traced patterns on his bare skin while she took in the smell of his cologne that lingered on the shirt she still wore. She felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her close and locking her in the position she had awoken in, her leg still locked around him. "Good morning," Her voice was still heavy with sleep as she tried to maneuver and bring her leg back to where it belonged. "Any more nightmares?"

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus stirred as the sunlight streamed through the window, gently rousing him from sleep. He was quickly aware of Isla's warm body wrapped around him, her leg draped over his own, felt her soft fingertips tracing lazy patterns on his chest, the soothing sensation giving him something to sigh quite happily about. As she shifted slightly, he instinctively tightened his arms around her, not wanting to let go of the comfort she brought.

"Good morning.." he murmured, his voice still gritty with sleep. He opened his eyes to find her looking at him, her expression soft and caring. Her question made him pause, and he took a moment to fully wake up and gather his thoughts. A gentle smile curved his lips as he realised that the remainder of the night had passed without any more nightmares haunting him. "No more nightmares." he assured her quietly.

He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek for a moment. "You stayed with me." he said, a mixture of wonder and gratitude in his voice as he studied her face. The morning suited her. She was beautiful always, but there was something about the morning glow on her face that seemed to bring out a radiance in her, turning her hair to spun gold and warming to cool depths of her eyes.

Lynus relaxed into the moment, allowing himself to fully appreciate the warmth and solace she provided. "I hope you found some rest as well?" he asked lazily, his hand resting atop hers.

 

[Isla]

Isla let out a heavy breath, "Good. You scared me half to death with all your thrashing about last night." Now that he seemed a little more at ease, she felt she could be honest with him. "But its nothing I can't handle, believe me. I used to wake up like that every night as a child."

Her face seemed to glow, but there was a hint of sadness as she spoke. "Of course I stayed with you. I have a gift, you know. Sometimes I think I would have been a great mother if my child inherited my horrible nighttime terrors." She laughed, a different laugh to the joyous one she'd shared during their dinner. A different laugh than the one she let out in his chest when he pulled her close. "I spent years building up an arsenal of soothing techniques... but maybe it was so that one day I might have been able to comfort you." Fate, huh?

"I am surprised, but I did sleep well." She had given up trying to untangle their legs. He had not mentioned it, nor had he acknowledged it, and Isla was too comfortable to leave him so soon.

She felt it was too ironic to say aloud and the last thing she wished to wake up to was Bear laughing at how ridiculous she sounded. For what it was worth, it had been an eternity since she felt so safe. Finding that feeling in a man's arms was the last place she expected to find it. He had saved her while any other man had chosen to defile her. He probably thought she was unwell for how easy it was for her to agree to leave the brothel. But when she saw him the second time- the way he fought for both of them even when he couldn't look at her. . . He had become a beacon of hope.

Isla smiled into his chest, refusing to look him in the eye as her thoughts raced from one to the next. "You are insane. You know that?" She looked up only to assess the expression on his face before she continued rambling. "While you slept I wondered what possessed you to take someone so broken. Someone who cannot be fixed. But I think I figured it out." She flipped her hand to lace her fingers in his. "You did not want to fix me- even if I am damaged and irreparable."

Even if they were only acquaintances, destined to be nothing more than friends. She thought she might be okay with what she uncovered.

"I think that you are broken, too. So broken that you might never be fixed as well. But I think that our broken pieces line up into something that might be whole again."

 

[Lynus Anireth]

"Sorry.." he murmured with a sigh, hating that he'd disturbed even a moment of her peace. He listened to her, his gaze narrowing as he pondered for a moment on what terrors might have plagued her as a child. Children shouldn't have been afraid of anything.

His throat ached for her as she spoke of her gift, of being a mother and the child she'd lost. Something that he could understand.His smile wavered and he sighed. "Well, I am grateful. It's certainly a gift. I'm not so easily soothed." he huffed a quiet laugh, his fingers trailing slowly up and down her spine.

His smile returned, and he couldn't help but laugh at being called insane. "Not the worst thing I've been called, but go on.." he grinned, but the grin faded as she began to explain, and he let her finish before speaking again.

"I do not think you are irreparable. Nobody is.. Perhaps all we need is to be accepted with all our dents and flaws." Lynus was undoubtedly broken, though since meeting Isla he had experienced joy again, he'd felt a purpose, found someone who knew nothing about him and saw more than everyone else seemed to. He'd found peace and comfort without the need to drown himself in alcohol. She truly did have a gift, and he'd cherish it forever.

 

[Isla]

Isla shivered when his fingers grazed her spine. She was too ticklish for her own good. Maybe it was a suggestion that she stop talking and allow them to simply enjoy the blissful awakening.

"That's fine. You are free to think how you like," She said softly, ignoring her body's warning. "But I know myself and you've only just met me. There are still twenty seven years of me that you are missing and there are many, many parts that I have tried and failed to put back together." She looked up into his eyes, still gripping his hand. "I do agree with you, though. We should be accepted how we come, broken bits and all."

That familiar shameful look hinted at her expression. "But it is rare that someone accepts it. Believe me, I've been told that I'm damaged more times than I can count." She huffed, shaking her head and eyeing her bag full of gifted jewelry. "I thought I had that acceptance once, but now all I've got to show for it is a sack of useless shit."

She snorted, a little laughter to hide the creeping pain in her chest. "I hate to say that I thank the Lady, still, for beating the sense back into my head even if she could never heal the heart that had been broken." At least it kept her from pining after Nathaniel for too long after he had been barred from the establishment. She still had half a mind to track him down and beat him over the head with the bag of jewelry.

She pulled her hand away and hooked her arms under his own, pulling his chest closer. "You see something salvageable in me, but when I look at you it is like looking into a mirror. Our pains, losses, struggles...they're so different from one another and yet we have both been shattered for a very long time. Maybe the name Bear suits you because you are strong enough to think there is fixing." And maybe you called me the Starling because I wished to be free from the burden of my pain. At any cost.

"Bear," The name made her grin like a madwoman and she was glad she had hidden her face once again. "I told you back at the brothel that I am afraid of feeling, but you make it so easy to be around. I haven't relaxed in god knows how long...and I want to trust you. More than anything I am desperate to trust you. But there is a voice in my head that still tells me I am repeating everything I have tried to overcome and I don't know how to shut it out. I don't know that I should even try."

There was an undeniable spark of possibility, she realized. A chance to try and open her heart again. But it would take a leap of faith. Perhaps with him by her side she could be courageous enough. Just maybe.

 

[Lynus Anireth]

His brow furrowed briefly at her reminder that he had only just met her. He'd known this Isla for two weeks, but in truth, they had both known of one another for many years. If her circumstances had been different, perhaps they'd have known one another much better. But she was right—he didn’t know her deeply, and she barely knew him at all. All he knew was that her company gave him solace, her presence, a sanctuary. She smiled at him, laughed with him, cared enough to console him. It was far more than he deserved.

The warmth of her body against his, the way she held him, and the look in her eyes as she spoke of acceptance only intensified the guilt gnawing at his conscience. How had he not told her by now? How could he? He swallowed, surprised to find an ache there as he dropped his gaze from hers, looking instead at their intertwined hands.

"Don’t ever thank her for anything," he said quietly.

He wrapped his arms around her as she pulled closer, breathing deeply and drawing in the comforting scent of lavender and vanilla.

Bear.

This time, the word felt like a punch to the throat. He felt less like a bear and more like one of those wolves he'd dreamt of. He may not have been using her as other men had, but he realized that he was perhaps using her in different ways—to help him heal, while only prolonging the inevitable disappointment she’d feel when she realized he’d lied to her. When she realised that he was not an easy man to keep company with and that his life was far more complicated than that of a simple mercenary. He couldn't drag her into that. She wanted freedom, had freedom, and he wouldn't take that from her.

He wanted to tell her that she could trust him. She could, in that he would never again harm her , nor would he ever treat her as others had. But lies hurt too, and his was a pretty fucking big one. His pulse raced in his chest as he felt a wave of panic and nausea, and he tried his best to push it down.

"It's only natural to have those warnings in your mind. Fear is a good thing; it means we aren't stupid," he frowned.

"Isla.." he said her name with such weight, but what he had been about to say wilted and died on his tongue, and he swallowed bitterly. Fucking coward.

"Just, know that whatever happens, I'm glad I found you. I'm glad I could give you at least a modicum of the comfort you give me. It’s real to me, and I..." He paused with a quiet sigh. "I’m deeply sorry for ever hurting you." Before, and when he ever found the courage to tell her the truth.

 

[Isla]

Don't ever thank her for anything.

It pained her to admit it, but she couldn't ignore his order. She had given her a life for a price and she promised to send back anything more to Isla's mother and the two little boys.

It hurt her more than she could ever share, not knowing a thing about them. They would be nearly ten years old now. She often wondered if they looked more like her father or her mother. She wondered if they were in school or if they now had hobbies. She wondered if they enjoyed the company of one another or if they preferred friends. She wondered if they even had friends. Isla's friends were the children she occasionally ran into while her parents schmoozed with the other nobles.

Other than that, she was painfully lonely. What a joy it would have been to have a built in best friend.

When she left, they were too little for things like climbing trees and playing games. There was so much she wished to know. Now she could only remember their names: Cyrus, the older one who was named after her father as his heir, and Oswald, the little nugget of a boy. Oh, how she would kill to pinch his chubby cheeks one more time.

Knowing that they were taken care of was why she thanked the Lady.

But Isla had thrown away the safety net given to those two little boys. She was the one who would be ruining their life when the money ceased. She would be the reason they went to bed hungry or without anything but the starry night sky over their little heads as they shivered, huddled with one another to keep warm. Her mother could go to hell, but Isla would find a way to make sure they were taken care of if she could track them down.

She looked up, sensing his heart skip a beat and his breathing shift.

"There is no need to apologize," She shook her head and pulled herself off of him so that she could sit at the edge of his bed. "It was a consequence of my own actions. I wanted to hurt you like I was hurting, but I think I hurt you in places that were far more lethal than anything I have experienced. I don't expect your forgiveness for the things I said, but just know that I am sorry for everything. For whatever a whore's word is worth to you."

Slowly, she stood and walked over to the window to look out on the street below. It was early, but already so busy. Isla tugged at the bottom of Lynus' shirt that she wore. She'd worn much less and yet she felt so bare in front of him as he peeled back each wall she had put up to protect her heart from being tampered with again. "We should probably head out soon. I can't imagine you'd tolerate me much longer if I keep stealing your clothing."