Fable - Ask The Fractures

[Evangeline]

Proctor D'Amour inhaled deeply, steeling herself as the air rushed into her lungs. A dossier had been laid before her just two days prior. Mars Pallatrix, her senior, her peer, had wordlessly laid it before her with a look that stretched beyond his usual stern stoicism. The file had a simple name across its front: Ostia Anir. At first she didn't understand why Mars had left the dossier with her. Some project, a campaign, that House Banick had been working on it seemed, the clearing of elven settlements and the construction of a canal. It seemed rather unremarkable initially; expansionism and conquest were still part and parcel for the burgeoning Republic of Vel Anir, after all.

Then Evangeline saw the names. Four of them, each followed by a classification of status, and with each line the proctor's heart sank further.

Alistair Krixus - Dishonorably dismissed.
Kalix Schafer - Dishonorably dismissed.
Kristen Pirian - Dishonorably dismissed.

...

Rafael Maier - Killed in action.
​

At the time, Evangeline had raised a hand to cover her mouth. With each page of the report she found herself pulled through shock, anger, remorse. The seeds House Banick had sown were tribulation, and the initiates--her students--had reaped disaster. Mars had silently given her the task of debriefing these three that remained, and discerning what truth she could muster from them. She was certain that Walter would have exaggerated in his version of the report to some degree, but this was...damning.

Proctor D'Amour exhaled sharply as she looked up from the dossier and at the students that sat across her desk in the confines of her office. Alistair. Kalix. Kristen, of her very own House. Evangeline swallowed dryly, as prepared as she could be for what would likely be one of the most difficult discussions of her life.
"I need you all to help me understand exactly what has happened," The words finally fell from the proctor's lips, stern, callous, professional. That was what she had to be right now. It was likely that their futures would hinge upon the words exchanged in this office, this very day.

 

[Kristen Pirian]

Never before had Kristen felt so uncomfortable being in Evangeline's presence.

But these were extraordinary circumstances, were they not? No longer was she but a child or blossoming woman in the care of her mother and father. No longer was Evangeline even to be Eva to her (no matter how often Kristen slipped and still said as much) but rather Proctor D'Amour. And whether or not Kristen was still truly the Darling Daughter of House Pirian, she was most certainly now a Dreadlord Initiate.

An Initiate who had failed in her most recent mission, who now was sat before the desk of Proctor D'Amour (not Eva), and who had to answer for what happened.

Perhaps this was the beginning of what Alistair feared; all that he spoke of during the boat ride home. Raf was dead, not by enemy action, and such a thing could not pass by in silence under the Academy's new direction. Further still, the Maier family was wealthy enough indeed to press the Academy for a restitution of some manner.

Kristen sat in-between Alistair and Kalix. No doubt a very deliberate decision.

"Proctor D'Amour..." Kristen started. She had resolved to tell the plain truth of the matter, to lean neither into favoring Alistair's side nor Kalix's, to be impartial. A simple resolution. Yet the weight of the circumstances made it difficult to do what should have been an easy task.

Instead, what she found herself saying was, "...Lord Banick was right to dismiss us."

Evangeline Kalix Alistair Krixus

 

[Alistair Krixus]

Alistair sat in his seat silently with perfect posture. He had moved to sit as far away from Kalix as possible and he had not so much as looked to the other initiate since they had entered the room. His face was a mask like t usually was. This time it was easy.

After all, what could he say? He had not read Banick's report, but it probably explained everything enough. There was not much left to say. A childish squabble between Dreadlords that had been trained to lay armies down at their feet were turned on each other and proceeded to lay waste to themselves and some of the surrounding soldiers caught in the act.

That was the truth, yet it was also the only thing that Alistair did not want to say out loud. As soon as he did, then he would not be able to take it back. Those words would likely seal his future.

He glanced at Kristen as she spoke. She said the one thing that was easy to say. Hell, a random farmer would have had reason to try and dismiss them after seeing them fighting like children.

"Was the report not satisfactory, ma'am?"

Alistair did not want to be the first to speak. He was more or less waiting for the bomb to go off, waiting for Kalix to start talking.

Kristen Pirian Kalix

 

[Kalix]

Kalix was leaning back in his chair, glowering at Proctor D’Amour. He wasn’t sure what was worse. It could have been Proctor Novgorodoff or Proctor Palahniuk, maybe even Proctor Pallatrix. But it seemed, much to Kalix’s disdain, that it was the Pirian Proctor, the one who was nicer than the others but also… well, the one who would be the most upset that after the revolution this had occurred. She supported the revolution, the new teachings of the academy.

He expected this to go very much the way his talk with Kristen did. His anger, his fault. That’s what everyone else seemed to be saying, as if the Academy hadn’t fostered his anger and might with zeal at the destruction he could lay to the enemies of Vel Anir.

Regardless, Kalix wanted this debriefing over as soon as possible. His arm was being thawed out and soon enough he’d get to visit Marcella and have it reattached. Perhaps even get a elixir or two from Novgorodoff that would help with the physical therapy he would have to undergo for a while.

Evangeline spoke. Kristen spoke. The bitch spoke.

Kalix kept silent, his lips a tight, thin line. He didn’t huff or sigh or even roll his eyes. And he waited. The accusations, the blame— whatever it was, to be tossed onto him. The only thing he did was bring his only hand up to brush back his dark hair over his shoulder, hunkering down further into his seat.

Evangeline Kristen Pirian Alistair Krixus

 

[Evangeline]

Shame was written on the faces of the students before the proctor. Well...two of their faces. Kristen fidgeted as though she were a child again, being made to perform in front of nobles of the other houses. Kalix's scowl tried to speak of anger, but betrayed some degree of guilt, of remorse. Alistair, however...the boy simply bore apathy upon his mien. That, and his question, made Evangeline's jaw set, and she drug a fingernail across the surface of her desk.

"If it were satisfactory, you three would not be sitting in front of me right now." She retorted sternly, her icy gaze boring into Alistair briefly before falling on Kristen. "You have no idea how serious this is. This incident goes far beyond the scope of standard disciplinary action."

The worst was that these young warriors--these children--did not understand how the consequences of the canal incident would ripple...and Evangeline felt sick with herself for tracing that line of thought to begin with. She steadied herself. Now was not the time. She'd talk to Kristen privately when this was all said and done.

"Right or not in his decision, Lord Banick wrote the report. What he's written is...particularly damning. What's worse is that, somehow, the report has leaked." The back of Evangeline's hand struck the dossier as she gestured to it before she leaned onto the desk and steepled her fingers, leaning forward. "There are prominent nobles calling for you all removed from service entirely--dishonored and stripped of your status as initiates."

The proctor's cold, sharp eyes regarded each of the students in turn. They needed to know the weight of what now befell them. They had to.
"One of your compeers is dead, and the three of you are being held responsible for it. That death alone should be enough to make all of you far more concerned. But unless you all want to find yourselves in a military prison before you've even graduated, I suggest you start explaining why Walter Banick claims you murdered a fellow initiate in cold blood and directly contributed to the so-called 'indefinite delay' of his canal project."

 

[Kristen Pirian]

Kristen was plainly aghast at what Proctor D'Amour had to say. The embarrassment! The shame! The entire reason Kristen was even here in the Academy, that she did not just live a normal life keeping her magic sheltered, was to become a Dreadlord in this new age of Vel Anir's history and show by example what the title could now mean. A lofty aspiration, and her pursuit thereof most certainly hindered by this incident.

And Lord Walter Banick! Father had some choice words concerning him, words which Kristen thought to be uncharitable upon her brief interactions with him during most of the Canal campaign, but now it would seem father's estimation of the man was wise indeed. Indefinite delay! What was Lord Banick playing at with this clear exaggeration?

Yet the claim of murder was a tricky one, for the facts were stark: Raf was dead. Kristen did not believe it to be murder but an accident, an inadvertent slaying, but how to communicate that? How, when the discerning line between the two so thin, given all of the circumstances?

"Proctor D'Amour, a fight occurred in Elyr'Morath," Kristen said tentatively. She was still trying to figure out her approach, but her tongue proceeded. "It was a fight between Initiate Schafer and Initiate Krixus."

A glance over to Kalix. Firm.

A glance over to Alistair. Apologetic.

Evangeline Kalix Alistair Krixus

 

[Alistair Krixus]

The Proctor's gaze was enough to make Alistair's own cast downward, although, that was likely where his eyes were moving to anyways. The words stung, but they were supposed to sting. This was a punishment. His words may have been misunderstood or maybe he was just in the wrong. Either way, it was still his fault.

"My apologies, Proctor D'Amour. I did not wish to come across as disrespectful. I simply do not wish to also come across as making excuses."

Alistair cast a glance at Kristen after she spoke, and then for the first time looked to Kalix if only for a moment.

"In the childish fight, Initiates Pirian and Maier attempted to stop the fight. The fight only escalated before wild use of powers harmed several people...and killed Rafael."

During his explanation, he forced himself to look back up and meet the Proctor's eyes as he considered it disrespectful not to look at her while he spoke. However, as soon as he finished, his eyes once again looked to the ground.

It was easy to see that the situation was difficult for Alistair to handle in his usually calm and precise demeanor. After all, they were here because of his mistakes. Potentially other mistakes as well, but to Alistair, he was placing much of the blame on himself.

Kalix Evangeline Kristen Pirian

 

[Kalix]

The report was leaked? Kalix’s eyes widen, and if Proctor D’Amour wanted a reaction from the initiates, she was most definitely getting one from Kalix. How many nobles wanted Kalix to lose his status as an initiate, as a future dreadlord? Did Lysander know? What was in the report exactly, what had Banick written? Lies? Truth? A mixture of both?

His heart began beating harder in his chest. His fears on the way back to the Academy slowly becoming reality, and if this were the reality then it would cost him his dream: to be an undefeatable duo with Lysander, to never let a single soldier of Vel Anir fear for their life when they went into battle because Kalix and Lysander would be there to push away or crush their foes.

Yet, at the same time, Kalix couldn’t help but blame his brother for this outcome. Initiates went missing all the time in the past, and if you were weak then no one batted an eye. Lysander had thought this new Vel Anir was better, for Kalix’s sake he had said, but look at where it was getting him now?

He noticed the firm glance from Kristen, looking over then to see how the edge of her lips softened when she turned to Alistair. He saw Alistair looking at him.

His stomach churned and he looked down at his lap, translucent hair pricking up on the back of his neck and his forearms. He knew what was coming, those looks those two were giving him. Someone would have to take the fall, right? Kalix could already imagine their next set of words:“wild use of powers” that shithead, say my name! Kalix wanted to roar at Alistair’s face.

The nobles would side together. Kalix couldn’t help but think the only one willing to be on his side would have been Raf. The dead guy. Raf knew it was an accident, right? After he was the one that had tried to stop Kalix and Kalix decided he would… Would Raf still be on his side if he knew what Kalix thought?

He stopped thinking. Breathing in deeply and letting the breath out slowly until there was none left. When he looked up, he wiped the beads of sweat that had been building up on his brow.

“That’s not the shit she cares about.” Kalix spoke finally, not looking at Kristen or Alistair. Only at Proctor D’Amour. “Everyone knows we fought. Everyone knows Raf and KP— Kristen was in the middle, trying to pull me back from Alistair. I…” Kalix paused, suddenly looking around the room, at a loss for words. He had never been eloquent in the first place, but now it seemed his tongue didn’t know how to move the way it usually did.

What would Lysander do? His brother always knew how to speak well, clear and concise. Hadn’t it been Lysander that warned him to never let his emotions run haywire? Wasn’t that why Lys is who is he is now? And Raf? Raf was always calm, no matter what, mimicking Kalix’s powers shouldn’t have been too hard if he was calm, right? What would Raf do?

For Lys. For Raf. If Kalix was going down, shouldn’t he do right by them at least?

“I don’t know what I did, but I did it. I…” the initiate swallowed hard. “I killed Raf.”

Evangeline Kristen Pirian Alistair Krixus

 

[Evangeline]

The proctor held herself rigid, unflinching. How quick they each were to devolve into fear, resentment, and anger, each in turn. Evangeline had forced the trio to sit closely next to each other, but there was a clear divide between them. How far could she drive the wedge? How deep did the cuts go?

She blinked at her students, waiting for each of them to finish.
"Childish indeed, and yet despite being trained and disciplined warriors, both you and Initiate Schafer chose to engage in it." She chided them, voice stern. "I don't think I need to accentuate the degree of shame this brings, not just upon yourselves, but to this academy. To your proctors. To all of your Dreadlord brothers and sisters."

This was something the Academy had wrongly never focused on: comradery. To many proctors, competition was the only thing that mattered. Individual strength was the only truth. How truly did these initiates believe that? Kristen likely thought differently, but the other two? Kalix especially...

"When you enter the field you represent all of us. You are meant to be Vel Anir's finest. Yet according to what I've read and heard so far, you allowed a petty squabble to result in the death of one of your brothers." Evangeline continued to chastise the group. "Where did this squabble get you? Any of you? What do you have to show for this disaster you've wrought?"

Now she had a point to make. The proctor raised her volume little by little, maintaining her composure but exuding authority with her near bellow.
"Kristen," She addressed her by her first name, forgoing the formalities thrust upon her by her position. "I expected much from you--you're the daughter of a Great House. You will be thrust into leadership in time. Have you grown to be a better leader by allowing this conflict to occur among your allies?" Those piercing eyes bore into the girl before shifting aside.

"Alistair, did you gain some boon from stoking the fires of this 'childish fight?' Do you stand taller for having engaged in that squabble?"

Her eyes fell to the last of the three, the boy's anger and uncertainty palpable.

"And Kalix. What has your rage and pride granted you? You have taken the life of your friend, Rafael? Are you stronger for it? For executing him?" She dug again and again.

"What. Have any of you. Gained?"​

 

[Kristen Pirian]

Kristen's eyes dropped beneath the withering assault of Proctor D'Amour's—

(of Eva's)

—steady gaze.

And she answered simply. Quietly.

"Naught but shame."

Evangeline Alistair Krixus Kalix

 

[Alistair Krixus]

Well, what the hell was he supposed to say to that?

Any attempt at defense or even just admission would like to draw the proctor's ire once again. It was smartest to just stay silent. He cast his gaze to his feet as he bowed his head.

Not to say he did not have things he wished to say, more out of confusion. It might be one of the few things he and Kalix might agree on. The stark change in the Academy's philosophy often left him confused about the correct direction to take.

He had stood his ground against Kalix because he had been taught not to show fear, or to allow oneself to be looked down upon. However, now it was fine to be walked over as long as the mission was accomplished. The worst part was that Alistair even understood the reasoning behind it all, but in the spur of the moment, it was hard to ignore years of training and teaching that had been engraved into them.

Her adding to their shame and misery would not actually do much. At least, not to Kristen or himself. He never knew exactly what Kalix was thinking, but the others regretted the outcome of this mission about as much as humanly possible.

Kristen Pirian Evangeline Kalix

 

[Kalix]

Kalix was quiet for a moment.

“Raf wasn’t my friend. We don’t have friends here.” He muttered, rather indignant, even he knew that. “Not that I’m sayin’ it makes it better. I didn’t want to kill him.” Kalix scratched the back of his neck, beginning to bounce his knee anxiously. “Which I guess means… I lost things instead of gained things? And… I’m about to lose a lot more.” Kalix wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be trying to answer the questions posed at him, but one thing he did know was that when a proctor asked you a question, you answered it.

Or at least attempted to do so. The issue was that Kalix had never been the brightest when it came to answering questions, and he felt like he had been set down to take a test that he hadn’t ever studied before. The only answers he could pull were from the ones deep within him, but would that be enough?

Evangeline Kristen Pirian Alistair Krixus

 

[Evangeline]

Evangeline let herself lower within her seat somewhat, gaze softening as she assessed her students. They weren't fools. Mostly. They were young adults who'd gotten themselves into a bad situation. Kristen, in particular, seemed to understand the breadth of this blunder. Their understanding of wrongdoing, unfortunately, would not be satisfactory. Thankfully, this was not the old Vel Anir, nor was it the old Academy.

"Friend or not, you all must be closer than simply coworkers or peers. As I said, you are all united in your role as future Dreadlords. You are brothers and sisters. And it seems that each of you understand that you have gained nothing of worth from the death of Initiate Maier. All Vel Anir is weaker for having lost one of our own." Evangeline concluded before beginning to thumb through a stack of papers. It was time to discuss consequences.

"Over the coming months, each of you will be assigned to a set of remedial courses under the supervision of myself and my aides. Your recreational time will be heavily restricted and monitored, and you should expect a significant portion of it to be occupied with additional physical and mental conditioning sessions with me. *If* you manage to meet my very high expectations, you will be allowed to graduate without being held back, though a probationary period will follow you into your apprenticeships." Proctor D'Amour explained the situation thoroughly to the trio. To the unwitting, this would all sound rather lax and meagre for the level of severity Evangeline placed on the infraction in question. To those that had paid any modicum of attention to talk regarding Proctor D'Amour's teaching methods, they would realize that the coming months would be hell.

A smile bridged the proctor's mien.
"A fool discards a flawed blade. A wise smith puts it back to the coals, and refines it again, and again, and again." She recited the old proverb, just as she did with her own students as she ran them through endless drills. She was quite certain they were all sick of that phrase by now.

"Any questions before we move to the next portion of this debriefing, initiates?"

 

[Kristen Pirian]

The consequences of the fatal incident, of which her own weakness and hesitation played an appreciable role, kept on worsening.

But no complaint surfaced in Kristen's mind. She deserved everything that came of it. Because Raf was dead, and she hadn't the strength to do her part in stopping Alistair and Kalix, where if only she had then perhaps he would still be alive. There was no punishment that Proctor D'Amour could inflict upon her which was worse than the one Kristen's own failure inflicted upon Raf.

She accepted mentally what was to come in those punitive months. Even Proctor Magomo respected Evangeline's exacting methods.

Any questions...?

Kristen shook her head.

"No, Proctor D'Amour."

Evangeline

 

[Alistair Krixus]

That's what they were now, flawed blades. For some reason, that analogy stung Alistair more than he expected, maybe it was because he understood how truly disastrous a flawed blade could prove to be.

Alistair accepted the punishments without complaint. He had expected more, and he would just have to be thankful that they did not just execute them for incompetence like in the old days. The extra lessons might even prove to be useful, not just for their purpose of punishment.

The loss of recreational time was more of a loss to him than he expected it was to the other two since his recreational time tended to be his time of individual studying and experimentation with his crafting. He would still have time to work on basic projects assigned by the Academy, but he would need to pause some of his more personal projects.

"No, Proctor." Alistair bowed his head respectfully along with his response.

Evangeline Kristen Pirian Kalix

 

[Kalix]

“No.”

Evangeline Kristen Pirian Alistair Krixus

 

[Evangeline]

Simple answers and pregnant silence.
"Good. Then we'll begin on the morrow. Initiate Kalix, I believe that you and I are already scheduled for a field mission next week. I'll discuss the particulars of that with you later, and the details of each of your personal regimens privately."

The proctor sighed and allowed her posture to slacken somewhat. The guilt and shame was plain to see all over the three initiates, and the coming months would be especially difficult for them. For that reason, the disciplinary portion of the meeting had no need of dragging on.

"Moving along," Evangeline shimmied in her seat, taking stock of a new set of papers within the portfolio. Each one had a name, and in bold text across the top 'MENTAL RECORDS.' "Each of you must know that the purpose of this debriefing is not solely to be punitive. I am also here to assess each of your mental states."

This was something that would likely earn her some degree of backlash from any initiate in the school not named 'Kristen Pirian,' but it was a task that had long been neglected by a school that was dedicated to raising warriors. Even in the absence of literal abuse towards the students, Eva could only imagine the degree of damage that could be done to a human psyche over the course of the average Dreadlord mission. Evangeline refused to be responsible for another Ademar, or Ania, or Charon.

"I know what sort of treatment you all are used to around here, and I know this might sound particularly strange coming from a proctor, but...how are all of you feeling in the aftermath of what's happened?" Much of the authoritativeness in the proctor's tone had vanished now. She steepled her fingers, hoping that her students would not withdraw, or worse, lash out. "If there is anything distressing any of you, it's best to voice it now."

 

[Kristen Pirian]

If there were two immutable rules at the Academy, they were these: Proctors were always right, and Kristen Pirian's face could never hide how she felt.

Her eyes were practically screaming that she wanted to spill forth everything in her heart. Her tight frown was like a dam whose unenviable task it was to hold back an oceanic tide that it could not possibly withstand.

She absolutely wanted to talk.

But her eyes, like independent sentinels that assured her honesty, flicked to the left and to the right. To Alistair and to Kalix. This so quick that Kristen herself barely even recognized she had done it.

Back to Eva. "Proctor D'Amour, I...I do not feel comfortable speaking so in the present environment."

Evangeline Alistair Krixus Kalix

 

[Alistair Krixus]

If Kristen was the gaping hole in the line, where her thoughts threatened to overrun them, Alistair was the silent stone wall with no sign of weakening. He was sure Kalix was likely with him in agreement.

Alistair had some thoughts, but when your entire life had involved being trained to bottle up those complaints, it was difficult to just voice those worries immediately. He could tell that Kristen felt it judging by her glance. He only offered a slight apology.

"Sorry, Kris. Don't be afraid to voice your thoughts."

Alistair and Kalix could be two pretty imposing figures when they were brooding, even if he did not do it on purpose. He looked at Kristen and then glanced at Kalix. It would probably put her at ease if someone else spoke.

He took in a deep breath and gathered his thoughts.

"I feel about as one would expect given the situation...Which isn't very good." He admitted.

Kristen Pirian Kalix Evangeline

 

[Kalix]

Ew, a field mission with the goodie-two-shoes Pirian proctor Evangeline D’Amour? Kalix somehow managed not to roll his eyes in exasperation at the notion of having to go on a mission with her. She’d just lecture him the whole time anyways, maybe even talk some bullshit about how he had anger issues. Whatever, better to be angry than to be a crybaby. But then that just reminded him of something else entirely as Evangeline asked her next question.

Again with all the feelings? Kalix’s face turned rather sullen. How was he feeling? Like shit. Duh. He didn’t have a arm right now. But he supposed that wasn’t what Evangeline wanted to know. So how was he feeling?

“Angry. I guess. I mean… I dunno know and I don’t really care.” He glanced over at Kristen. Maybe that question was for her, she was most definitely the most feeling person here in this room. “I’ll leave.” He said quietly, certain that Kristen was going to vent about how he was wrong in the first place.

Evangeline Kristen Pirian Alistair Krixus

 

[Evangeline]

The results of Evangeline's question earned her a fair bit of surprise. Oddly, it was Kristen that was reluctant to speak, and the two boys who were initially forthright. At least, that was what was conveyed verbally. Expressions told different stories. Especially Kristen's. It didn't take the discerning gaze of Evangeline to see the thoughts displayed on her countenance.

"In this regard I would not force any of you to speak, Kristen. And that goes for the two of you, as well. If any of you wish to confide in me privately, there will be plenty of time for that later." Eva's voice was calm and collected. There was some hint of understanding beneath it; not every mission went perfectly, and Evangeline's experiences were no exception. "Alistair is correct, however. I'd like each of you to take what the others are saying constructively. Consider this an opportunity for reconciliation."

The proctor's gaze fell on Alistair. She offered him a saddened smile.
"Regret is a perfectly normal feeling to have in the aftermath of what you've all been through. I would hazard to ask--what feels the worst about all of this to you, Alistair?"
He was one of the more difficult to read of the initiates, or most people that Eva had encountered in general. Such a stony facade for someone so young. It was a relief knowing that he wasn't as emotionless as he liked to let himself appear.

The proctor held a halting hand up to Kalix, meanwhile.
"I will dismiss you when we're finished here, Kalix." She warned him quite gently, the contrast between her authoritative tone from earlier quite stark. "You clearly have some idea, and you cared enough to start voicing it. You're angry. Why?"

Pulling all of this out and to the forefront was the key to not letting it happen again, that much Evangeline knew. She believed there was still bad blood here, and that wasn't going to magically disappear without a discussion.

 

[Kristen Pirian]

Kristen seemed to shrink into her chair. A small and gradual retreat, with her head hanging, her shoulders rising defensively. Her arms were pressed tightly to her sides, full hand and diminished wrist in her lap. Her left foot was slowly sliding atop her right.

Whatever anyone's conception of a Dreadlord happened to be, most certainly Kristen, in that moment, was not it.

But the last thing she wanted to do was say what she truly wanted to say in front of any Initiate. Any Initiate. Even Alistair. She touched upon it briefly to him aboard the return ship, but to express her fear and her guilt and her doubt to the fullest? No.

This was only safe to say to Eva. Not Proctor D'Amour. Eva.

And so Kristen sat in silence for now.

Evangeline Alistair Krixus Kalix

 

[Alistair Krixus]

Alistair readjusted himself uncomfortably in his share as he looked at the Proctor's sad smile. He hated things like that. He did not want anyone's pity. Pity was a sign that he was weak, or that he had messed up. It was exactly the case right now, but that did not mean he had to like it.

What did hate the most about all of this? What was he supposed to say? All of it. He could say that he hated the fact that this would likely haunt him for the rest of his life. Any chance for social mobility had been stomped out like a small flame to a boot.

"Um, someone died."

That was the obvious answer, wasn't it? Raf was dead. If he said anything else, it would just make him seem sort of shallow in the given situation.

"What else is there?"

Evangeline Kalix Kristen Pirian

 

[Kalix]

Why was he angry? Kalix couldn’t quite put his finger on just one thing. So he started from the most recent thing: he had to participate in this meeting when he just wanted to be left alone. Then what else? He was angry at Banick for dismissing them, angry at Alistair for always being on his high horse, angry that he got stuck three rich kid initiates with shitty powers.

He frowned, remembering that night in Banick’s manor. All of them so comfortable in that opulent luxury. The pillows, the wallpaper, the perfectly polished wood floors that didn’t creak. A cook that made them whatever they wanted, maids that were around every corner, dusting this or fixing that. The fact that the next morning when they had woken up there were fresh flowers in the vases as if the flowers from the night before were dead— which, and for some reason he vividly remembered this, they were fine and vibrant and smelled like spring.

The paintings on the walls, all the little decorations on end tables or lamps that were intricately carved from one piece of wood. All of it had bombarded Kalix, reminded him that whoever had designed Walter Banlick’s home had an atrocious idea about wealth. All that little, breakable shit… and for what? To show off? To remind Kalix that he came from poverty?

But why would that make him angry?

Liliana was rich, she always had new clothes every season, never had to wait for hand-me-downs or new issued clothing from the Academy. And it’s not like Kalix was so broke he never had a few coins on him— after all, looting those you killed often produced a hefty bit of copper or even silver for one to indulge in. So why was he uncomfortable and everyone wasn’t, and why did that make him angry?

But Kalix was angry long before they got to Banick. He was angry long before he was even assigned that mission. Yes, he had been angry since the outcome of the revolution, since his most recent meeting with Lysander and hearing him spout all that nonsense. Equitability and equality and all that bullshit. Even before then he was angry with his brother, seeing how he acted, seeing him dare to make a bond with someone other than him and Perci.

Disgusting.

And he dared lecture Kalix about keeping emotions in checked?

Kalix huffed, shaking his head.

“I said I don’t know. And I mean it.” Was his final answer to proctor D’Amour.

Evangeline Kristen Pirian Alistair Krixus

 

[Evangeline]

Never had Evangeline seen Kristen withdraw so visibly. Her body language spoke volumes. Eva would catch the girl's gaze with a knowing look and a ghost of a smile. Their time to talk would come shortly.

Frustratingly enough, Alistair continued to wall himself off. That was not unexpected by any stretch of the imagination, but still earned a sigh from the proctor. There was some small relief to be taken in the fact that he regretted the death of a comrade; many Dreadlords of her age simply would not have cared at all.
"That depends on you, Alistair. On how much blame you choose to shoulder. How callous you choose to be to such a thing. On whether that death upsets you for the loss of a brother in arms, or because it makes you look bad." Her gaze narrowed momentarily on the Krixus boy. His status was no mystery to her, and she was no fool.

Evangeline simply wanted each of them to think outside of themselves. To question what was right, to challenge the old ways that had been pounded into many of the initiates at the Academy. For the noble children, this was likely never to be quite as much of an issue, in spite of Alistair's...solemnity.

For Kalix, however...there was much turmoil to be read on the boy's face.
"Then perhaps it's time you start thinking about it, Kalix," She chided him; he was already thinking about it, that much she knew. She could read it in how he tensed himself, and the focused glare he'd adopted. "You've got a record brimming with violent outbursts and your stellar combat record isn't going to help you pass a psych evaluation, and I'll remind you that I won't let you graduate if you don't. Expressing what's making you so angry is the first step in getting that anger under control."

She was stern, but still much more soft than she'd been in the previous arc of the conversation. She wasn't trying to come down on any of the three now, but to help them understand the unique positions they were now in. She glanced over Alistair and Kristen.

"That warning goes for each of you. Gone are the days of this Academy releasing unhinged, violent sociopaths upon the world for the sake of power. Strength is nothing without the discipline to use it properly. Expect more of these chats as your regimens progress."

Another tempered breath passed Eva's lips and she began to tuck the students' files away.
"Last chance for today, Alistair, Kalix. If you've nothing else to say regarding your emotional states, you're dismissed to your quarters."