Varys closed the door behind him, and stood in the hallway for a moment, the expression on his face turning a shade more conflicted than it just had been. He should have told her, and already he was kicking himself over his silence. She deserved to know, about all of it. Especially now that Niv had become involved... If Varys didn't tell her, she was going to learn on her own eventually anyways now.
But he was scared.
What if she decided to leave? What if it was too much? He wouldn't be able to blame her, not when he could barely stomach it himself... The elf leaned back against the door slightly, letting out a long, withheld sigh from his lungs as he tried to clear those thoughts.
Get yourself together, man.
He heard his own voice, muttering the words into his ear as he finally slipped downstairs and left the inn, vanishing into the night-blanketed streets of Fal'Addas. It wasn't a long trip to his destination, but it did take him away, outside of the city that protected them and into the surrounding wilderness. The west exit of the city led out into the vast forests that covered much of
Falwood, and the dirt path the elf now travelled alone with only a bit of lantern light from an old rust covered lamp he'd left near the city exit years ago was one all too familiar to him.
It was quiet, like even nature itself was leaving him to stew in his own thoughts.
By the time he reached the clearing, he would have almost liked to be waylaid by bandits or animals. As it was, he had no excuse to delay his approach to the pile of moss-covered debris resting in the middle of the clearing.
Home sweet home.
Looking down at the stack of wood and stone rubble that had once been his home, he stroked his chin with a somber sigh. No, home wasn't the right word for it. This sorry pile of garbage had been a den of evils-- somewhere he'd been born, created life, and died.
Slowly, he lowers to his knees, reaching out to pull at some of the jagged, ripped planks and discarded stones. They looked to be a haphazard mess, but in reality, he'd placed them in such a way that removing the debris in a certain order revealed something hidden beneath, tucked neatly out of view.
A notebook, bound in dyed blue leather, seemingly unaffected by the weather. He slid his hand beneath a large scrap of floorboard and retrieved it, pulling it close to his chest almost immediately, as though it were a child.
Niv knew he was in town now, and he also knew about this place. Eventually, he'd come to look for Varys here. He couldn't be allowed to have this notebook. If there was even a chance he could find it...
He slid it into his jacket and stood, taking another long look at the rubble. A reminder of what he'd once had, and how he'd destroyed it so thoughtlessly. A renewed sense of determination bubbled in his chest, and for the first time since he left the inn, he took in a deep breath and truly cleared his head.
Tonight, he decided. He would tell her. If not everything, then something. She'd earned that from him.
The Inn was dark when he returned, and he could hear the snores of the innkeeper from his room in the back as clear as day. A smirk grew as he noticed the cleanliness of the bar though-- So Lot really was planning to win the old fart over.
He climbed the steps slowly, each footfall preparing him for... whatever conversation he was preparing to have. He'd been so determined just a while ago, but already the fear threatened to creep back into his heart the closer he came to the door.
Closing his eyes and holding his breath, he gripped the doorknob and returned.
"Hey, I'm back. Miss anything exciting?"
