Varys placed his hands under him to sit up, fingers digging into the thin mat laid on the wooden plank floor. He'd been sent somewhere, deep within the mind. Of course, Varys figured it would have been
Lottie's mind that he would be finding his way out of, but...
He knew this little ramshackle house.
The cluttered one-room home, with
plants, and animal skins hanging from the ceiling, notes scribbled on parchment and pasted all over the walls, books covering the floor, and the old man sleeping face down on the sole desk at the center of it all. This was where he'd lived. That was him.
Another version of him, anyways.
Varys didn't remember everything that had happened. It was all still so cloudy and fragmented. He knew the truth, though. That he'd been a
monster, seeking to break the
laws of magic in order to live forever, who'd preyed on the helpless to extend his own miserable, hateful existence.
And he'd succeeded, but no magic that skirted the laws set forth by the universe came without a cost. A cost that had left the reborn mage without his memories, without his knowledge or emotions. He ran, lived in the filthy alleyways of Fal'Addas's slums, and stole money from the foolish until a chance to leave and discover the truth about who he was found him.
When he finally found those answers, Varys hated himself. What he'd done, and who he'd been were disgusting. His entire life had been a fabrication.
He was an abomination.
Varys didn't know when he'd started screaming, his hands clasped on the sides of his head as his legs clumsily scrambled to bring him up to his feet, stumbling like a newborn fawn towards the door to the shack and pressing against it hopelessly as it refused to open.
This was an illusion, he tried to remind himself as the splintered wood of the door pressed against his cheek. The intensity of the magic had lured Varys into a trance and trapped him within his own thoughts.
The hell he was in right now was just the guilt that he refused to let go of.
Lottie needed him, though. There was no time to dry the tears that burned his cheeks or to dwell on the resentment in his mind. Varys shifted to lean his back against the door, staring down at the visage of the wrinkled old elf laying in front of him.
There was only one way out, and it lay with the knife on his hip. San'Seya drew it slowly, rose it above his head, and closed his eyes tightly as he plunged the blade downwards.
And when he opened his eyes again, he'd woken up. Still in the illusion, but no longer in the trance. This place was different, the hallway he lay in was lined with banners and expensive pottery. It reminded him of some of the castles he'd seen in
Oban.
A muffled scream caused his remaining ear to perk up.
Oh no...
Lottie Beaufort