Private Tales Take the risk or lose the chance

[Varys]

The Elf's eyes followed her as she trotted over to the mirror to model herself in Varys' old coat. Truth be told, she did look rather nice in it. Blue was a nice color on her, even if he doubted the thing would stay blue for too long, with all the trouble she would probably end up putting it through. Crossing his arms over his chest, Varys hummed thoughtfully. "I'll be damned, actually looks pretty damned good on you." Guess she'd take it after all. Worked for him, he wasn't going to use it, and he'd rather it not gather dust in the closet.

Varys helped himself to another pastry before finishing his coffee. Most of his stuff was packed into the wagon already, what wasn't was in the closet, and he'd bagged it up while waiting for her return. "I hope so. We won't be turning back this way for some time, Lottie." He set his cup aside and stood up, pulling the clean white shirt he'd set aside from himself the previous night, casting a glance at her as she went to the bathroom to change. Good, he'd been worried about that, she couldn't exactly wear his shirts out on the road.

As the door closed behind her, Varys took one final look around the room, taking in a deep breath as he brushes some hair from his face. It was time to go, no more reason to stay here. He was leaving with a new purpose though, one he hadn't had before. The time had come for him to take his own apprentice. Admittedly, the thought made him a little nervous. Was he even ready for this? It felt like only months ago he'd finished his own training, and already he had a pupil?

No, he couldn't think like that. Lottie wouldn't say it outright, but Varys knew she was counting on him right now. Closing his eyes and letting the breath that he'd been holding go, he turns to the bathroom door. "When you're done, grab your stuff and meet me behind the inn. I'm going to go get the wagon ready!" He called, swinging the door open and headed down the stairs and out of the inn. The streets hadn't gotten too busy just yet, he'd noticed. That was good. Maybe they'd get out without any trouble.

Walking around behind the building where he'd parked the wagon, a smile crossed his lips as he found it just as he'd left it. The large wagon-cart was starting to show it's age, the bright scarlet and yellow paintjob was beginning to fade, and there were a few holes forming in the roof, but it was home to Varys. Unlatching the back with a click and swinging it open, Varys slides his belongings inside with the few remaining fireworks, jars of strange colorful material, and several boxes and chests of random goods.

He left the gate open, walking around to the two horses that would be pulling it. A pang of sadness ran through his heart, his lips twitching at the sight of something other than his dear companion hitched to the wagon.

No, better not to think about that. He wasn't alone anymore, technically...

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror with her hands braced on the basin bowl beneath it. It was a face she knew, of course, but it was a face tied to Oban and the past. This was the future. The start of leaving behind a chip that had weighed down her shoulders since she was 15 years of age and the Prince had come into her life. Her fingers tightened on the porceline just thinking of it. The comments on her dress - the first thing she had changed once free - her make up - the second thing she had gotten rid of - and her hair. Slowly she raised her hands to the curls which fell to her shoulders. Her own vanity had kept her from changing it but now she wanted to leave behind everything that reminded her of this place. She grabbed a fistful of her hair, took out her slim blade and began to hack.

As she emerged into the alleyway Varys had told her to meet him she glanced once more back at the stairs from down which she had just came. Up there she had also left her whip and her lips tugged at the thought of how the innkeepers might react upon discovering it. Her pack, slung over one shoulder, was full of the things she had pinched that morning from sleeping traders so there was no need to stop at her once home either. A clean break. That's what she had decided she needed. With her hair now cut to brush against her chin she felt like she had finally managed that.

Lottie tugged down the peaked cap she had stolen to hide her face on their way out of town and ambled over to where Varys stood petting the horses. Anyone glancing her way might have mistaken her for a boy in her cream breeches, bucket boots and Varys' tailored fancy coat. When she had last seen the cart it had pulled itself and seemed to have a mind of its own. She glanced at it warily but the horses seemed unfussed and she patted one as it lowered its soft nose to her shoulder to sniff for any snacks.

"So where's our first stop?" she asked with a lopsided smile, glancing up at him from beneath the shadow of her hat.

 

[Varys]

Varys tore himself away from his memories; they were only going to bring him down, and right now he needed his focus, to remember his task at hand. Still, Lottie was taking her time getting down here. He'd finished loading the wagon 5 minutes ago, even set up the second sleeping mat he'd bought just in case to be rolled out. They would have enough food for a few weeks of travel, and by then they'd already be stopping at another city, probably wouldn't even take that long.

It would be nice to have somebody to talk to on especially long stretches. His time with his Master had been one where there was never a quiet or dull moment, and once he'd broken off on his own he found he missed the companionship. This was only compounded by his nature as a Speaker. Varys had been warned of this by his master, what could happen to somebody with his power if he sank too deeply into the voices of the world. When they were all that he could hear, it was damn near maddening.

Lottie's presence would be more than welcome. Almost the exact moment that the thought of her crossed his mind once more, he heard her pipe up from beside him. Finally, he thought. Turning towards the voice, Varys' eyes widened a bit, his entire body turning with his head. "I... You were busy, huh?" His lips curled into a smile. She'd cut her hair, much shorter than it had been previously. "Symbolic, isn't it? I let mine grow when I left. It had been short all my life until I decided to leave..."

"You look good." He trails off, stepping aside to allow her to approach the horses. Truly, Charlotte Beaufort looked like a completely different woman. This wasn't the woman that the city of Oban had known, this was the one who no longer would be bound to Oban. This woman was free. The steed beneath her hand seemed to huff in satisfaction, and Varys patted her shoulder, moving around her to climb up into the driver's seat. "A bit more proper than just my shirt and nothing else. Get in the back, or up here with me if you prefer." He waits for her, then cracks the reins, getting them off to a slow start. "We're headed south to a small trading town right on the edge of Falwood, from there we can choose to go further south or break off to Alliria."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie gave a husky laugh at the gentle jibe at her earlier attire.

"I didn't hear you complaining about my state of dress," she raised both brows as she clambered up onto the carriage beside him, scooting along the fur-covered wooden bench and settling her sack between her legs. A quick whip and a jerk and they were off trundling through the streets of Oban. Her fingers curled into her thighs as she watched the only world she had ever known begin to disappear behind them. Varys had been right when he had said her new choice of attire and gear was symbolic and she was proud to find no sadness in her heart as the gates drew closer.

There was only excitement.

Bending to rummage through her sack she produced the map she had snuck back out from Varys' things earlier on. Not all her habits were going to be left behind.

"Where's that?" she asked eagerly, smoothing the parchment out and scanning for the words 'Fal-Wood.'

 

[Varys]

If Varys hadn't so quickly turned towards the road ahead of them to hide his face from her, the slight red tinge in his cheeks would have been far too obvious for his own liking. "Well, I suppose not. Maybe I'm just not keen on you being ogled by everybody else." He would admit. It may have been out of line for him to so openly express that slight bit of territorialism, but Lottie was his apprentice. Nobody needed to be staring at her backside.

Whether that included him or not was still up in the air.

Either way, they were off. Moving through the slowly busying streets of Oban for what would be the last time for the foreseeable future. Lottie was handling it better than Varys had when he'd left home; the Elf had been in tears, cradling his last possession in his arms as though it were a baby. He'd left behind everything he'd known that day, just as Lottie was doing now. It caused a sense of pride to swell up inside of him, even as faces young and old turned to look at the oddly painted cart as it made it's way out of the city at last.

"Falwood is south of here, a continent full of lush forests and beautiful scenery." Varys looked over at her as the wheels of the wagon slid from the stone roads to the dirt path leading out of the city gates. "The city at it's heart, Fal'Addas, is the biggest Elven city in all of Arethil. It's also where I grew up." A small nudge of his elbow against her follows. "I told you a lot about the city that night we met, remember?"

They'd entered the expanse of woods that rested outside the city walls now, not far from where they'd been accosted by thieves the last time they'd ridden this wagon together. Not much had changed in the years since then, except for the both of them. "So tell me, Lottie. What is it you think you'd like to do? The world is yours to take now, in a place like Arethil you can become whatever you set your mind too with enough gumption. My job is to help you get there."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Once they were beyond the city walls Lottie visible relaxed. She pushed the cap she had been wearing low to obscure her eyes off entirely and let the wind play with the shortened strands of her hair. She'd also stopped sitting hunched over with her eyes focused studiously on the map. Now there was a keen light to her eyes as she glanced around the familiar woods, looking for any sign of trouble they might be offered. The cart didn't look like the usual kind of mark the bandits and highwaymen went for, but when trade had been slow they could become desperate. Or sometimes they were just stupid.

She laughed and elbowed her friend back at the gentle teasing.

"I remember," how could she forget the city he had painted for her with its towering, elegant spires and the way magic had been incorporated into everyday life? It had sounded like something out of a fairytale and so at odds to the human-centric city she knew. She would like to see this 'forest' which apparently put the Widows Woods to shame in size.

"I want to learn to control my magic more," Lottie said firmly, nodding to herself as she spoke. Her jaw was set with determination. "I want to show them Oban women can be strong," and not go insane like that Queen so many Ages ago. "And I'd like to see if I can find anything out about where my sisters went to. I think Wren went down river so maybe she stopped in Alliria..."

 

[Varys]

The Elf beside her nodded along as she spoke, reaching under the seat of the wagon as his eyes seemed locked on the clouds overhead, pulling out a long stick of some sort, seemingly carved from a tree and still covered in bark. "Learning to control the powers you have is a good first step. Unlocking what you're capable of is essential to finding who you truly are." Varys muses as he raises the stick high in the air, his ears perking up as though he were trying to hear something. "Rain coming tonight, hopefully we can make it past the cloud cover or we'll have to sleep with the cover on tonight." He'd always preferred to watch the stars as he'd dozed.

Pulling the stick back down and muttering something as he tucked it away once more. Varys spoke from experience about learning one's power. It had changed his life forever, and he could only hope it would also change hers for the better. Handing the reins over to Lottie, the young man turned to slide into the back of the wagon. "If she went to Alliria even to pass through, finding anybody who saw her would be a chore. That's a very big place, and not everybody is going to be happy to answer questions..." The rustling sound of things colliding with the sides of the wagon interrupt his speech, as does his own soft swear of frustration.

"Part of me thinks it will take more than one deviant to prove to Oban that their way of thought is incorrect." He begins, returning to the seat beside her with a mortar and pestle in his hands. "But if that one deviant is somebody with the blood of a royal in their veins that changes things."

It wasn't long before they were far from Oban, into the lands that Lottie had never known. The hotter climate of the Aberresai region was beginning to surround them, though Varys was sure to skate the edge of the savannah on their journey south. He'd seen enough of the vast expanse of desolate land to last his entire lifetime. "We're coming up on a break in the road, Lottie." Varys nodded to a crossroads up ahead, seemingly intentionally adorned with trees and flowers. Just beyond it the sounds of life came from several small buildings that surrounded the road to Alliria in what seemed a small village aimed at capitalizing on the high traffic of this road. "If we're going to head to Alliria first, I can try and get us there without stopping, but if we're headed to Falwood, this is a good place to rest for the night. I can start with your lessons in the morning. Up to you."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie watched as Varys rummaged around, her attention torn between his words, what the hell it was he was doing, and the scenery that went rushing past as they lurched further South. It created quite the storm of emotions that coupled with the rumbling of the motion almost made her feel sick. Now the doubt was beginning to set in. Had she done the right thing leaving? Could she complete any of the tasks she had just set out to do? They had all seemed quite simple small things but now, she realised, they were mountains. Each and every one.

She hadn't realised she had slipped so far into her own thoughts until Varys announced they were coming up to a break in the road and she jerked as though someone had sprayed cold water on her face. Her first thought was annoyance at herself for missing all the sights for the last 10 leagues.

"I think my arse needs a break," she admitted with a laugh and added silently and my brain. "And... I would like a lesson..." she bit her bottom lip. She'd never had one in magic before. Everything she had learnt had been trial and error - a lot more error than not. Once the small village came into view Lottie pulled the horses down from their frisky trot to a sedate walk and then a halt outside what appeared to be a tavern of some kind. Other wagons not too dissimilar were lined up on the grassy bank. She hopped down and winced at the wooden feel of her legs, but walked round to the horses to begin unhitching them from their yoke.

"How... big is Alliria exactly?" Was there any point in trying to find Wren?

 

[Varys]

There wasn't a thought paid to how his routine with the long stick would have looked to somebody who didn't understand what he was doing. A big part of Speaking was dealing with the fact that you looked insane whenever you were doing it. Varys had grown used to the stares and whispers that came with a power like his. Still, the elf would tell Lottie should she ever ask.

Lottie took the liberty of pulling them into a larger building of the small settlement. Light shone through the windows, with ramshackle walls and smoke billowing from a spout in the roof that seemed to welcome them in with open arms. Varys chuckled as she griped about her soreness. "You get used to that, although there's nothing stopping you from riding in the back. Plenty of space back there." She had a mat for her own use, he'd seen to that.

"But I'm glad you want to stop. If I'm being honest, I could kill for some food. Grab the black sack in the back for me, would you? I'm going to go get a room." Varys slid off of the wagon and onto the dirt, retrieving a small pouch from the pocket of his jacket as he patted the horse nearest to him. "We're gonna start with your focus tomorrow. Can't cast a spell if you go zombie on me like you did on the ride here." A chuckle of amusement follows him as he disappears into the building.

The building was indeed a tavern, a small one that didn't seem to have a whole lot of business at the moment but a tavern nonetheless. There was a small bar against the back wall, and only two tables in the middle of the room. After speaking to the pale, slender elf at the counter, he paid for the only room they had, tucked in behind the bar.

When Lottie would meet him inside, she would find the room was small, but far from uncomfortable. A fire raged in the fireplace beside a chaise, with another bed tucked against the opposite wall, much smaller than the one they'd had in Oban. There were a couple of empty shelves, a sink, and a tub shoved haphazardly in the room beside it.

"Cramped, but we're only here for a night." He turns to address her as she enters, folding his jacket. "Suppose we'll skip the bath unless we're looking to give each other a show. Ah, set the bag over by the chaise, I'm going to make us something to eat while I tell you about Alliria."

The bag contained jars of food, seemingly preserved with little to no evidence of aging. Varys had an odd manner of cooking, to be sure, holding things to the fireplace and speaking softly to the flames as they licked at the food like hungry dogs. Before long though, they each had a perfectly seared piece of beef, with some long odd-looking vegetables on the side.

"If I were to list the largest cities in all of Arethil, Alliria might just be at the top. It's a spectacle of a place, the kind of thing you don't really understand or comprehend until you've been there in person. If you can think of something, you can find it there. If you have the money, nobody will tell you no."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie's cheeks heated at his parting words and she tugged down the peak of her cap to hide her beetroot face from the other stablehands and serving lads milling around. She didn't have a witty retort but she still muttered something incoherent under her breath to make herself feel better.

As it turned out, whilst there was only limited room at the inn, they also charged weary travellers a sum to camp on the large expanse of land they had out the back. As a part of that cost people could stable their horses and get a hot meal. Lottie had to admire the keen business sense that had led to the owners to think of the little side hustle but it did mean that the stables were a hectic place. It took a lot of shouting and cajoling to find the two cart horses a space but eventually she managed to find her way to the room Varys had procured them.

"As long as you don't mind the smell," Lottie grimaced and tugged a bit of hay from her hair after flinging her cap to one side and crashing onto the chaise lounge. As Varys rummaged through the bag and begun setting about the dinner she kicked off her riding boots and stretched her feet toward the fire.

"I guess it would be hard to find someone in a city that size," she admitted glumly when Varys was done explaining the sheer size of the place. It sounded like a rabbit warren for people and Wren was difficult to find at the best of times. She sighed and ran a hand through her cropped hair. "It's not a high priority, she's looked after herself this long but if we end up passing through... I'd like to at least... try a bit. Maybe I'll get lucky," they'd always joked they could sense one another nearby.

 

[Varys]

Lottie really didn't have anything to be ashamed of. It was an overwhelming thing, to leave one's lifelong home. She could be forgiven for being a bit scatterbrained. Didn't mean Varys wasn't going to tease her for it. It was worth it for the expression on her face. The elf had an inkling her focus may not take long to harness, not when she was already capable of doing what she'd displayed to him earlier.

The thing about prodigies is that they're much better when they don't know how good they are.

Varys was glad they'd procured the indoor room at the small inn. It cost less to stay outside, and the wagon did have bedrolls and food, but on a brisk and chilly night like this one, they'd be shivering and cold. This was much better, sat on the edge of the bed with a warm meal in his lap. He took small bites, savoring every bit of the meat and veg.

"We'll more than likely end up in Alliria at one point or another anyway. I have a contact there who points me in the direction of the nearest payday, plus we should probably set about buying you some of your own equipment, some new outfits too." He could tell she was a little bit disheartened about Wren. Who would blame her? She was finally breaking her chains, and her sister wasn't here to be a part of it. Varys couldn't even imagine.

His eyes flick over to the bath. Maybe it would do her some good. She would need to be relaxed in the morning.

"Tell you what, Lottie. I should probably go lock up the wagon, maybe have a bit of fresh air." His eyes flicked back to her. The wagon was already locked, but she probably didn't know that. "How about you take a bath and unwind. I'll take my time and let you relax." He finished the last of his vegetables, setting the plate aside as he flashed her a smile.

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie ate like a woman who didn't know when her next meal would be. She'd always been a bottomless pit as a child but it had stayed when her sisters had taken her off to live in the forest on nothing but Wren's cooking. That had been when she had begun to appreciate good food. Varys dish might have been simple but it was a far cry from what she had eaten for the past year. It was even harder to cook for yourself day in and day out. Most of her diet had been dried meats and cheese.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" Lottie raised both brows and licked her spoon. She'd brought with her another couple of shirts and breeches and a large overcoat for when the weather got colder. If she had known there would be an occasion for something more fancy she might have pinched a dress or two whilst she was still in Oban. It occurred to her then that maybe it would be a good thing to get some pieces of clothing that weren't distinctly Oban in style. Her brows knitted into a frown at the thought. There was so much that she had simply never thought of before.

Those thoughts were dispelled when Varys piped up about leaving and her eyes flickered to the bath.

"You're very kind, but I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you out of the room though," she frowned. He had paid after all. Perhaps this town they were going to would trade her some coin for some of the things she had stolen so she could help towards her keep. "At least let me wash up," she hopped to her feet to take his plate and put it with her own.

 

[Varys]

Varys pursed his lips as his protege refused his offer of privacy, nodding slightly as she insisted on cleaning the dishware. It was good that she liked the meal, as she'd find life on the road rarely offered an opportunity for well-crafted cuisine. Holding out his plate for her to collect, his lips curled into a smile once she passed out of sight to scrub both of their dishes clean. "Nothing is wrong with your outfit, but once you start earning your own money, you'll want some clothes that have only ever been yours."

Turning slightly to watch her, his eyes found that old blue jacket she wore, the one that had been his. "People talk about power, about ability... Identity is often left out of that conversation. True power comes when you're fully aware of who you are, what you stand for." When he'd worn that jacket, he hadn't a clue what his purpose was, or how to get there. Softly, he drummed his thin fingers along his knee, the sound of running water from the faucet putting him at ease.

A soft click of the elf's tongue and he stood up from the bed, shifting his shoulders back to slide off his jacket. "I've changed my mind, Lottie. First lesson right now. It's not a test of focus, though. It will be a test of identity." Lottie knew who she was, to some extent. She had ideals and morals independent of anybody else. But Lottie was without her sisters. The people she'd been surrounded by her entire life were gone, and now she had to stand on her own. She had to blossom, evolve into something more.

Hanging up his jacket and reaching behind him to pull his long white locks free, a yawn of contentment leaves his throat before the slim-figured mage turns and readies the bed. They at least didn't have to worry about the awkwardness of sleeping in the same bed. They'd gotten past that hurdle remarkably early, hadn't they? He supposed it was due to their already established friendship.

It was funny...

When they'd reunited at that party in Oban, he'd definitely been making passes at her, but... Given the situation now, he almost felt it his duty to keep on the straight and narrow. This wasn't the time to distract her, not when things were changing so fast. As he lay in the bed still clothed, he crosses his arms underneath his head and looks over to her as she completes her task.

"You are Charlotte Beaufort, a woman who ran away from a prince to live the life of a pauper. You chose to be oppressed rather than go against your beliefs for a life of luxury, and your sisters went with you. Aside from your sisters, nobody has ever looked your way for anything besides your magic, your bloodline." Part of the story she had told him, and part of it he inferred.

Varys allows his eyes to trail back to the ceiling, before sliding them shut completely. Listening to his words, that was a part of this trial. Answering the question that would be provided at the end of his speech would be the determining factor in her completion. He didn't expect an answer though. Not this first time.

"In your eyes, I've seen everything from the most child-like wonderment to the bitterest of resentment. Now, you set off to write your own story, to decide your own fate just like you did before. When you return to the arms of your sisters, strong, wise, and independent. When all of Oban has seen that you are strong. What happens then?"

He rolls over to his side, facing her again with eyes still shut. "It's going to feel empty at the end. Like a hole that can't be filled. You have to know what comes next. What will you stand for, Lottie?"

Undoubtedly, there would be a moment of silence. Such a question couldn't be answered so swiftly. Smiling just a tad, Varys would finally open his eyes again. "I'm sorry. It's early to be throwing that kinda shit at you. I just want you to think about it. I want you to be ready when the time comes. Now come lie down, tomorrow is a big day."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

He tipped her world upside down then expected her to want to sleep?

Lottie had been halfway through the dishes when Varys had announced with enough force to make her jump like a startled cat that he was about to start her first lesson. She turned to him wide-eyed with her elbows deep in soapy water. What he thought she would be able to do whilst she was cleaning up she didn't know and she gave a vexed whining noise glancing between his back as he turned to put his jacket away and the dishes. In the end she resolved to keep on washing and listen until she had to do something. If it was a lesson about concentration doing a repetitive chore might actually help her. She hadn't been expecting a lecture on who she was.

As he went on her motions slowly came to a stop and eventually all she could do was put her hands on the rim of the bucket and brace herself as her head swam.

What will you stand for?

Was everything she had said to him already not enough? Or did he think she was parroting another's dream? Wren's dream? Was that a bad thing? Could it not be her dream too? Was it not worth standing for? Did he think she was so small that she couldn't change what she sought to change?

"I..." she looked down at the almost clear water that was now close to chilly. "I think I need some air," she whispered and wiped her hands hurriedly on a tea towel before heading for the door. Lottie didn't stop until she was outside the inn and then she broke into a run, dashing to the edge of town and the comfort of the very small crop of trees they had passed on their way in. It was nothing compared to the forest she had lived in but it was enough to already make her feel less at sea in this strange world. Slowly, with her back against the rough bark, she slid down to sit on her hunches and put her head between her knees. At the moment all Charlotte Beaufort thought she could stand for was a determination not to throw up from fear.

 

[Varys]

Varys didn't take any pleasure in doing that to her, making her wonder about those kind of things. He'd known damn well what his words could do to her, and how intense the emotions they could evoke may be. He knew all of this because he'd been through it himself, he'd felt the pressure that he saw fall on her now as she moved to grip the edges of the sink. It hurt. It felt as though the air tightened around your throat, leaving you barely able to breathe.

It may have seemed cruel to impart this unpleasant wisdom upon her now, so early in her journey, but Varys had learned the dangers of having such a realization at a critical moment; He himself had broken down when his friends and loved one's had needed him most, shutting down when he should have been acting to save them. No, it was better this way, that he ripped off that proverbial bandage now. He had faith in Lottie's ability to overcome his words, however. The elf only hoped she didn't take the whole thing too personally.

Stretching out, he lay there and waited for her to return. Thirty minutes, an hour, maybe two hours passed. A frown began to spread across his face as he sat up in bed. Had he pushed her too hard too quickly? His fingers dug into the sheets in frustration at the thought. This was as new to Lottie as it was to Varys; he'd never taught anybody before. What if... what if he'd said too much? "Damn..." He muttered to himself as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed to stand up and retrieve his jacket.

It took some time to find her, but eventually, he spotted his troubled protege resting at the edge of the trees with her face tucked away and hidden. Varys' face fell a bit, he'd definitely gone too hard on her too quickly. Without a word, he turned and sat down across from her, crossing his legs. "I'm sorry, Lottie." He murmured over the sound of crickets and night birds. "That was insensitive of me. I shouldn't have piled that onto you like that."

At this point they were already going to get a late start tomorrow, so what was the point in rushing to bed? Still, she would need her rest. "Come on, you need rest. Forget about waking up early, you've earned some extra sleep." He reached out, placing a hand on her knee. "Forgive me."

It hurt to see her like this, more than Varys expected. Though he was to be teaching her, he also genuinely cared for her, for her emotions. What he'd done had been reckless, he would have to be mindful of his tongue.

"I had this same revelation myself at the worst moment. I thought maybe it better we get it out of the way, but... I fear I was mistaken."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie didn't realise how long she'd been sitting underneath that tree with her forehead resting on her knees. She'd wrapped herself in a tiny pocket in the middle of the hurricane of her thoughts to escape it. Self preservation at its finest. But in doing so she had also shut out the world around her. Anyone could have walked up to her, robbed her if their fingers were light enough. Even the cold didn't touch her. At least, not until Vary's touched her knee. With a jerk she looked up and the cold of the early winter night hit her suddenly. It had gone deep into her bones and made them stiff but she was more horrified to feel she had been crying silent tears whilst she sat there. With trembling hands numb from her hours of sitting in one position she scrubbed at her cheeks and looked up at him. The pale green of her eyes rippled with yet more unshed tears but she blinked them back as best she could.

"You probably think I'm a really stupid child," she said with a bitter choked up laugh. Some tears fell no matter what she did and she looked away in shame. Lottie liked to project an image of herself to people. A Lottie who was strong and carefree, who enjoyed robbing from the rich to give to the poor and who wanted to overthrow the Evil Prince. She had wanted to laugh at herself several times over the last few hours when she had been running over what her dream was.

"The truth is, Varys, I never thought of a life beyond because I don't think I'll have one," that had been the most harrowing part of her self reflection. Lottie had come to the realisation she had always expected to die in her fight and never see it fulfilled.

 

[Varys]

Lottie jolted when it dawned on her that she was no longer alone out in the cold, but pulling her out from the swirling eddy of her own thoughts was for her own good; Nothing worthwhile would come of such self-doubting so early on in their journey. The elf had jumped the gun, and he more than recognized that now.

His punishment was to see the girl he'd grown so fond of look up at him with tear-stained cheeks and glassy eyes of his own making. The sense of failure that ripped through Varys was crippling, and his hand drew back as he felt his features crinkle into a frown of shame.

"If I thought you were stupid or a child, I wouldn't feel the way I do about you, Lottie." Varys began, realizing his words could be taken ambiguously, he began to elaborate, but he was cut off by Lottie's admission, her belief in her own lack of a future. It left him speechless for a moment, and

Of course, how could Varys have been blind to that? He'd been the same way. When he was sleeping in alleyways, making ends meet by scamming tourists out of their money, he figured he'd be dead before his 20th birthday --young for a human, incredibly young for an elf. If you'd have told him that he'd be here, trying to work his way through teaching another person how to control magic, well he'd probably call you some colorful names, to say the least.

"Well..." He sighed, sliding to seat himself beside her with a small thoughtful sound. Leaning back against the tree, Varys stretched out, his legs resting on the cold ground. "I didn't either, when I was in Fal'Addas. I kinda just assumed I'd go on until they caught me and locked me up. When that changed... I had the same dilemma you're having. I guess maybe I thought I was sparing you..." The elf reached into his pocket and pulled out an old-looking notebook, bound in leather. "I ended up fixating myself on a single goal, believing the answers would come if I could just accomplish that one thing. I learned though, that when you get tunnel vision, you miss some of the most important things in life, things that can be right in front of you."

Varys nudged her with his elbow. "It's your first night away from home, but you're already doing way better than I did. I call that a lesson passed."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie didn't shy away from Varys as he made himself comfortable on the cold ground beside her. Instead she quietly leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder as she pathetically sniffed some more. She hated crying and she hated it even more when it was in front of someone else. At least Varys understood though. They might have had very different starts in life but somehow they had ended up at the same point if a few years apart. It was comforting, in a way, to know someone who had been through what she found herself facing and had come out on the other side of it. His words were all sensible advice, that she knew, but it was still a hard thing to suddenly distance herself from a dream she had been having since she was 16 years old.

She did manage a weak laugh when he nudged her though and declared her first lesson a success. If this was a success she wasn't sure she ever wanted to fail one of his lessons.

"What's that?" she asked and nodded at the leather bound journal on his lap.

 

[Varys]

The mage's body noticeably tensed as Lottie rested her head on his shoulder, her weight pressing gently against his side as she fought back the last bastions of her sadness. With a moment's passing, however, he relaxed, reaching an arm around the young woman and holding her against him. Varys had made the same observation as she; the obstacles she faced now were nearly a parallel to the ones that he had needed to overcome when he had started his own journey. He knew he wouldn't have made it through that time of trial without the wisdom and care of his master, and now she needed that same counsel from him.

"This was the only thing I took with me out of Falwood when I left. This notebook and that coat you took a liking to." Varys rested the small book on his lap and flipped it open. The pages were covered in thick black markings; letters in an old elven language, as well as drawings and sketches. "This was my father's journal, where he recorded all of his notes and experiments." Varys still wasn't sure how he would tell Lottie about what he truly was, or if he even would. It was a complicated story, and he'd no idea how she would take it.

Flipping quickly over to a page in the latter half of the notebook, he stopped at the word 'Varys' written in common, circled several times. "This is where my name came from... I didn't have one when he died, he never bothered to give me one. I ended up taking the only thing I could understand from this book..." Varys closes it once more, moving his head to lean against Lottie's. "I had nothing when I set out. I didn't even like my master at first, it was more of a means to get out of Falwood. In time though, I learned that caring about somebody, having a family... it's everything. 'S one of the reasons it's been so hard for me lately, with them gone. But we have each other. You're not doing this alone. You're gonna make it."

A hand reached over, resting on top of her own. "I promise."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie twined her fingers with his and gently squeezed.

"I'm sorry," she said earnestly. Though sorry for what she didn't say. She supposed in a way she meant for it all; that she had run off and not come back, that he had lost the closest thing he had had to family, that his father hadn't even bothered to give him a name. She would take the hurt away if she could for she knew how badly even a scar could fester and weep when one thought it healed. She sat quietly with him some more as they both sifted through their thoughts and then, with a slight shake of herself, she rolled to her feet and tugged him with her.

"Let's go, we have an early start," she didn't want to waste any more time and certainly not in a town where you could see all there was to see on a short ten minute stroll. Despite the bravado of wanting to get on with things an forget her tiny breakdown, Lottie didn't let go of his hand the whole way home.

Dawn brought with it a new day and despite their late bedtime Lottie was up with the sun. Getting by on little sleep was something she was used to and she had slept much better on the lumpy but soft mattress than she often did on the forest floor. She had the map out when she nudged Varys awake and passed him a coffee absentmindedly.

"So we're... here," she pointed on the map, bright eyed and bushy tailed. "And we're going... here?" she pointed to the edge of the Falwoods.

 

[Varys]

There was nothing for her to apologize for, not really, but both of them knew the deeper meaning behind the two words. The pain she felt now was shared between them, and it was a burden they would bear together. Her fingers entwined tightly with his own, and Varys' smile grew as he looked down at where her head rested against him. "We share the weight now."

With all the energy she'd displayed prior to the first 'lesson', she sprang to her feet and grasped his hand, pulling him up eagerly. As much as the elf had been enjoying the moment between them, she was very right. There was much to do if they were to see their goal to the end, regardless of what came afterward. This time though, it was with a smile on his face and her hand in his that they returned to the warmth of their room and rested for the coming trials. The first of many hurdles had been cleared, but not without difficulty.

There was one thing that Varys' apprentice had mastered long before he had, it seemed, and that was waking up in the morning. While Lottie was bouncing with energy in the early morning light, the half-naked elf sprawled out on the bed didn't move an inch until she began to prod and poke at him. "Mmmh... Just a little longer..." He mumbled, rolling onto his side before groggily rising to sit on the edge of the mattress. He reaches out for the coffee without looking, bringing it blindly to his lips and taking a sip.

After half the cup and a moment of rubbing his eyes, he groans and looks towards the map she had unfolded. "Yeah, more or less. I know it's a long trip, but it'll give us plenty of time to practice." He yawned, rising to his feet and tying his hair. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Breakfast first, and once we get the wagon ready and on the move it's time for a lesson."

Breakfast was provided by the tavern, a small serving of meat and bread. It wasn't luxurious, but it was what Varys had expected from a small place like this. In no time Varys was closing up the wagon and climbing into the front seat again, looking much better now that he'd had a meal. "Alright, I've already seen enough of this place to last a lifetime." The mage sighed dramatically. "Time to go home..."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie had her hat back on as she clambered up beside the elf into the wagon; it was much easier to pose as a boy now her hair was so short and she was beginning to find she liked that. There were less lingering looks, less attention. Until they were further from the Kingdom of Dalradia she would play it safe; who knew how many people travelled these roads who might know her face? Despite the always present threat of discovery which still lingered over her like the guillotine waiting to drop, she young woman was in high spirits as she took the reins and set them off before Varys could change his mind. Her style of driving was much more suited to a highway getaway than it was a sedate pace and the wagon lurched forward in a jerky motion. Lottie shot her friend a grin of apology.

"Can we do the lesson as we trundle?" she was eager to explore her magic further. It was one of the big reasons she had agreed to come away with him in the first place after all. Quickly followed by the desire for an adventure and to not be alone anymore. "I promise I won't daydream as much this time," she wouldn't let herself. She wanted to actually see this journey more than yesterdays and remember it too. Hopefully Varys wouldn't throw her any my philosophical questions that made her head and heart ache.

 

[Varys]

As groggy as he was, Varys had to commend his apprentice on the enthusiasm that seemed to pour endlessly from her. She was quick to bounce back, and if she approached her training with anywhere near the same level of veracity, she would be a formidable mage faster than the elf ever could have anticipated or expected of her. His eyes narrowed at her in amusement as she clambered up into the seat beside her in the disguise she'd put together. Of course, the short hair and his old coat helped, but Varys thought that Lottie was underestimating the figure she was beginning to sprout. Even in all her extra garb, she looked rather feminine.

Swift hands beat him to the reins of the wagon, a cocky little grin settling across Lottie's features as she whipped the horses with a mighty crack, sending them back down the path to the looming forests of Falwood at a blistering pace. Varys quickly gripped the wagon to brace himself as the thunderous sound of hooves nearly drowned out Lottie's question, and the San'Seya had to lean closer to her to make out what she said, pointed ear, perking up in attention. "You call this a trundle?!"

Varys balked and quickly swiped the reins back before pulling on them to slow their travel. The horses slowed to a slow trot, though they were far from the tiny little settlement they'd started in by that point, the path ahead and behind them clear save for grass, rocks, and sparse trees. A deep sigh left his lungs as he nudged his pupil with an elbow. "It's okay. I don't blame you for being out of it yesterday, or for wanting to get out of that place as fast as possible. If you're going to focus though, you'll need to clear your mind. If you have anything or anyone that you're thinking about, shake it off now." Normally he would use a campfire for this first exercise, but that wasn't something that was available to him right now. No, he would have to improvise a bit. Looking forward down the empty dirt road, the mage continues. "Close your eyes, keep your head empty. Then imagine a small fire, little more than embers settling in the pit of your stomach. Focus on that, count the ashes as they fall.

It had yet to be determined exactly what type of magic Lottie would be most proficient in, but the chances that she was a Speaker like him were minimal, to say the least. Some of the tricks that Varys used to learn might not work on her. Focus though, was universal. "You're going to reach out, and light those embers into a roaring flame. Will it with your mind, think of the long orange and red tongues lapping at the air, the heat beating off of your skin. Ignite your spirit."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

If Varys could see into her mind he might have questioned how Lottie latched onto any single thought and followed through with it. It was an over grown garden and she flittered from one topic to the next like a desperate hummingbird spoilt for choice of flowers. Being asked to focus was... not a skill in her wheelhouse. With a frown though she folded her legs under her with the aim to give it her best shot.

A flame... that's what he said right? Like a candle? No, a dying fire! He mentioned embers, it had to be a dying fire. Now would a normal camp fire work or did it have to be a big bonfire? I do love a big bonfire... Oh I'm going to miss Saints Day! Maybe I can convince Varys to go back for the holidays, he would love the bonfire too and all the illuminator firebangs. I know the best spot, we could just sit and watch without getting too close to the Capital... Shit. What was I doing again? Focusing, right. Focus! On a candle flame... no! Embers!

Lottie scrunched up her nose and her brow furrowed into a frown.

"I don't feel anything. Shouldn't I be feeling something?"

 

[Varys]

Varys was becoming increasingly aware of the energetic cacophony of thoughts that was Lottie's mind. The way she could shift between emotions could change the topic of a discussion so quickly was ridiculous. He couldn't blame his lovely friend, the stimulation of leaving home, of seeing so many new sights so quickly had to have her working overtime to process it all. He'd been just as overwhelmed...

Unfortunately, such an active mind made it hard to achieve the kind of focus needed for learning how to harness one's energy into magic. The elf could tell by the way her brow furrowed as she struggled to follow his instructions that merely telling her how to feel wouldn't be enough. This was her first foray into truly controlling herself, and it would be just as big a hurdle as she'd ever have.

"You're overthinking it. Don't worry about recreating what I told you." The horses slowed a bit as Varys pulled back on the reins and removed one hand, reaching over to place it gently on Lottie's shoulder. "Breathe. Don't try and paint a picture. Instead, look for that tingle you feel. Like what you felt when you made those butterflies for me. Remember that feeling, grasp and hold it. Don't let it escape you.

He smiles, remembering the display she'd put on him before. Lottie just needed to find that and pull it out of herself. "I know you can do it. When you have it, I want you to let it out. Don't be afraid of what will happen. I'm right here."

Lottie Beaufort