Private Tales Take the risk or lose the chance

[Varys]

Maybe he should have been surprised, should have been taken aback when she did what she did. He'd worried for a moment when the tears started streaming slowly down her cheeks and the breath audibly left her body, that he'd misread her. Perhaps her fears lie elsewhere, and his assumptions had left him looking the fool once again.

It wasn't so. There was no way that Varys could have understood the feelings that suddenly bloomed deep within Charlotte Beaufort. For he had hit upon the very thing she feared most: Being viewed as a victim, Being treated differently because of her past. Who would see her as anything but a poor little princess, who had been abused and tossed aside? She was damaged goods, surely.

Varys had never felt sorry for her. Sympathetic, yes. It would be inhuman not to be, but he did not take her under his wing, did not whisk her away from her home because he felt she needed it. He stayed staunchly by her side because he wished to. He needed no other reason.

It was the same reason he did not stiffen, falter, or hesitate when she pressed her lips softly against his. There wasn't the faintest moment of thought before he slid his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around her once more and leaning into her kiss. A soft, almost breathless sigh seeped from what little gap between his lips there was, and he felt every wrong in his world melt away in the span of a second. His hands slowly trailed up and down her back, comforting and affectionate as he pulled his face from her, only by a mere inch.

His voice was a whisper.

"Do you understand now...?"

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

What are you doing?! A tiny voice in the back of her mind screamed at her when she first pressed her lips to his. In the space of a single human heart beat her mind whirled with the thousand possibilities of this kiss from his rejection and her humiliation, to something purer, brighter. She clung to the latter thoughts. Everything he said, it couldn't result in rejection could it? When he thought her lovely, broken bits and all, he couldn't mean not like that. Right? The panic swelled like a cresting wave, then vanished as he sunk into the kiss.

It was not the fiery kiss of a passion that would fade with the break of day. It was not the feverish kiss of desperation that led to heartbreak. It was soft, tender, and that small bud inside of her began to bloom in the light of what she felt in that kiss. Her toes curled as his fingers stroked up her spine and made a thousand butterflies take flight within her stomach. When he drew back she did so to but only so far as to lean her forehead against his. In the delightful haze of warm feelings his words made little to no sense. What had they been talking about before? Or did he mean the kiss? Had he been trying to tell her this for a while? Gods...

"No," Lottie admitted with a breathless laugh and closed her eyes, allowing herself to sink back into the warm cloud she felt as though she were floating on. Whether he meant the magics he had been describing before, or their kiss the answer was the same. "But I'm really looking forward to learning what it all means with you."

 

[Varys]

"No,"

Were it anybody but Lottie, that word would have sent him into despair so treacherously deep compared to the unmatched high he was on right now, the feeling of his body floating amongst dreamlike clouds an addicting sensation so powerful that even his insecurities could not twist the meaning of her words. Instead of dreading those two letters, they brought a soft smile to his lips, even before she clarified what she meant.

"But I'm really looking forward to learning what it all means with you."

One of the hands that had traveled her spine now rose to the back of her head, his fingertips travelling carelessly through her hair. His amber gaze still burned into hers, searching for safety, for solace. He had no such feelings within himself, but... "When you're with me..." Varys muttered, his voice trailing as though he wasn't sure how to phrase himself. "Everything just makes more sense."

Throughout his 'second' life, everything he did was tied to his past. The places he went held memories of before, some of the people remembered him, hated him. The journey he'd made was one of redemption and self-discovery, seeking answers about who he'd been.

But there was one person, one single memory that he'd made that had nothing to do with what he'd done, or what he'd become. That person was the woman in his arms now, who had, without knowing it, stolen his heart years ago under the stars at a lake outside of her home city.

"So whatever it is, we can figure it out. As long as you're here, I know I can."

He leaned forward slowly, sliding his eyes shut as he pressed his own kiss to her lips. This one was bolder, more definitive than the spur-of-the-moment kiss she'd given him. Any doubts she had about his feelings towards what she'd done would be dispelled, his palm resting on the back of her head, his other hand trailing down her back to hold her by her waist.

Magic could wait. Tonight, there was this. And he was content to sit like this, letting his feelings be known, for as long as she allowed him.

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie hadn't felt this way since...

Ever.

The word was damning. Oh, she had laid with other men to wash the memories of not having control from her mind but she had always left when the stars were still high above. She'd never allowed herself to be held or given something that could have been called love. She'd always believed herself too spoilt, too broken, to be deserving of that. Varys made her believe she was and, more importantly, that she wanted that finally for herself. Happiness.

As his lips pressed against hers again she found her toes curling once more and the butterflies inside her stomach took flight all over again. The world could have ended in that moment and she would have been content. Perhaps even the happiest she had ever been in her short and troubled existence. Her lips moved with his and her fingers shyly began to explore the planes of his chest through his shirt. She felt young and awkward, like a teenager instead of a grown woman who knew her own mind, but there was a sweetness to that. To the way they explored one another timidly so as not to break this wonderful new thing between them and with an undertone of excitement too that came with all things new.

Lottie wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, kissing and learning one another as though they had not known each other until their lips had touched. Eventually she pulled back by a fraction, grazing her nose against his as she did, before murmuring.

"We really should sleep."

 

[Varys]

Sleeping was the last thing on his mind. How could he relax when there was something so incredible in front of him? So unexplored and untested? The way she tightened, her entire body seeming to curl into his every time their lips touched, every time his fingers brushed so lightly a place he'd ever explored before, it drove him mad...

But she pulled away, his nose pressed lightly to his as she spoke in a low mumble, a drowsy reminder of reality.. Varys smiled, his lips nearly numb from the paces she'd put them through over what could have easily been minutes to an hour. "Must we, really?" She was right, of course. It was a bit early to be losing themselves in such a manner. The last thing the elf wanted to do was move too quickly, lest he push her away.

A tiny laugh huffed from his lips, and he shifted beneath her, his arms locking around her waist as he stood with her still in his embrace. "Fine, but you're wearing pants tonight Ms. Beaufort." Not that he minded her tradition of sleeping half-nude, but he certainly didn't need any extra temptation with the mood he was in.

Varys laid back on the bed, bringing Lottie down with him before releasing his grip so she could move about as she pleased, but not before raising his head up for one more taste of her lips, a dazed, and admittedly exhausted, expression on his face.

"I'll try this one more time.."

His eyes remained on her as she slid from atop him and nestled into his chest, his arms coming around to hold her close as she settled into his embrace for the night. There was one thing that he needed to let out, something that he felt much more sure about now than he had a few nights earlier.

"I love you, Charlotte."

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie offered not a word of protest as she was scooped up off his lap and hid her face in the crook of his neck to muffle her laughter at his half-joking request. She was still trying to fathom the depth of her happiness at simply... being. It was as though a lake had suddenly appeared and she knew not how far wide it was nor how deep, and yet she floated on its surface content for the first time in her life.

As he eased them onto the bed and claimed her lips once more in a soft and lazy kiss, she trailed her fingers to caress his jaw. There was an eagerness within her to do more despite the tiredness, but Varys was not a man she wanted to get up from and never see again when the sun rose. This was different and as such she needed to be kind to herself and take her time. There were wounds that would come open on this journey but Lottie was finally willing to confront them. With him.

Sliding to his side she rested her head on his chest and draped one leg over his, her fingers splaying over his chest and tracing odd, meaningless lines to lull herself to sleep.

I love you, Charlotte.

Her heart squeezed and she looked up to meet his gaze. What she saw there threatened to undo her all over again. Leaning up she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth then his cheek, to the shell of his ear where she whispered.

"I love you too, Varys," Lottie pulled back and rested her head once more against his chest. Then, with a yawn, she said. "Thank you for waiting for me."

When was the last time she had slept so well?

Sunlight caressed her face in the late hours of the next morning. The gauzy curtains they had forgotten to draw last night fluttered on the breeze coming through the window carrying with it the muted sounds of the city and the scents of the morning meal. When she had lived in the forest that combination alone would have been enough to make her day, but this morning it was the warmth of the man against her back that made her smile. She pressed a delicate kiss to the inside of the forearm draped across her, all the way down to his wrist. Lottie debated slipping from the bed to go and find breakfast but instead she shifted carefully on the bed to face the elf. Maybe they could go out for breakfast... take a walk... Then her eyes snagged on the salt in the corner.

Oh right, magic lesson.

That had to be more fun when she could sneak a kiss from him when he was being serious, right?

The mischievous thought made her grin and she softly pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, content to wait in his arms and listen to the sounds of his peaceful sleep.

 

[Varys]

It was incredible, how a few words that he'd longed to hear so badly led him to a sleep so peaceful that not even the sun beating down on his brow was enough to stir him. The feelings that had been shared between Varys and Lottie, the bond that had formed between them made the Elf feel more safe and at home in the bed of an inn then he'd ever felt... anywhere.

She knew what and who he was, and still she adored him. It was safety, security, and he loved her all the more for it.

Peaceful, dreamless sleep carried him through the night, his white hair spread on the pillow beneath his head like a silver crown, his chest rising and falling steadily with his breath, the sun made his flesh seem to glow in the morning light. but the catalyst for that restful night was also what eventually woke him up; The sensation of her lips against his jaw, as light as a feather, drew a soft sound from his throat as slowly he roused to consciousness.

"Mmh... Morning, love..." He mumbled, turning onto his side to face her as his eyes barely slid open, a tired smile growing slowly on his face as he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against her own, continuing to mutter against her kiss. "Could get used to waking up like this..." His arms had come around to embrace her again, and he held her for a few minutes more. Every bit as much as she, he wished to prolong this.

But there was work to be done.

Letting his arms slide away from her, Varys sat up and swung his legs from the bed, raising his arms high above in a yawning stretch.

"Tell you what, let's knock out some training, --and I mean some real training--, and we'll give ourselves a reward afterwards, eh?" Varys looked at her from over his shoulder, a mischievous smirk punctuating his words as he stood and walked over to the salt jars. "We can go as hard as we like, and not have to worry about losing control."

Grinning coyly to himself, he placed the jars into his satchel, adding with a teasing tone. "In terms of magic, I mean."

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie rolled into the warm spot of the bed Varys vacated with a deep sigh; she didn't want to leave this bed - this room. After just a few short hours she felt like an addict already suffering withdrawal symptoms from their latest high. The thought of learning magic when this was a possibility instead...

Are you really going to throw away your dreams again for a boy?

She swallowed at the thought. No, she couldn't allow herself to fall that way again. What the Prince had done was unforgivable, yes, but she had been the stupid girl who had believed being a Princess would be a romantic fairytale. She had been charmed, taken in, had been made to fall. Had lost her self in the process to be what he wanted her to be. She would never be that naive girl again.

She had to remember her dreams.

Lottie forced herself off the bed and began to change from what she had slept in into clean clothing.

"How is salt going to stop me from turning the world into something out of the Fae Wylds?"

 

[Varys]

While Varys admittedly would have loved to keep the conversation going as she changed her clothes, the preparations for their training today were precise, and he couldn't afford any miscalculations. The three piles of salt looked to be correct; each had turned a deep blue over the course of the previous day, just as had been demonstrated to him several years prior.

Still, to be sure, the elf quickly pointed a finger at one and muttered a quick, rushed and sloppy incantation that should have backfired on him and left his eyebrows as absent as his ear. Instead, the salt began to crackle, before a small pop sounded and a line of smoke emerged from the pile. Perfect.

"Salt is very resistant to most things magical." Varys explained, picking up two of the jars and moving them carefully to the small table by the door. "It's easy to lose control focusing on, say, an enemy. But if you mess up while practicing on specially treated salt..." He turned his head towards her and nodded towards the lightly smoking jar, now almost completely back to normal. "...It puts that energy out like water on a fire, and the most damage you can do is a broken jar and spilled salt, in the worst case."

Salt being magic-resistant wasn't well known, and even to those aware not often put into practice, as there were far more foolproof ways to defend against the arcane with protection spells and runes than slathering everything with salt. Usually meant less work too, but for practicing it couldn't be beat. Moving to collect the third and final bowl, he scoops it up and turns around to hand it to Lottie for her to carry.

"It's how I started out." He smiles, reaching with his other hand to brush the hair from her face. "And I'll be there to catch you if you fall, Okay?"

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie tugged the fresh shirt over her head.

She had never heard of salt being used to defend against magic before. Ghosts, yes, but magic? It showed just how badly the Kingdom of Delradia hid all knowledge of what they considered a dangerous art. She came to stand a little closer to him so she could watch his demonstration and her eyes grew wide with shock and wonder. Of course, she had no idea how strong the spell Varys had uttered was, but she could feel the weight of it by the way it made the hairs on her arms rise. It was certainly far more comforting to know she had a safety line to stop her from going beyond as she had the last two times, but doubt still gnawed at her. Her magic was nothing like Varys' - would it work the same?

Lottie looked up at the man who had never led her wrong so far and took a deep breath.

"Okay," she wound her fingers through his and gave his hand a squeeze. "It's still probably best we leave the city a little ways," she didn't want to put any innocent lives in danger. Varys' was enough to weigh on her conscious.

That was how they found themselves an hour later finding a secluded spot within the forest a little way from the city. They could still make out the buildings from here but it was enough of a distance Lottie felt content her magic might not infringe on life there. Finding a spot she crackled her knuckles in a nervous habit.

"So what should I do? Sit? Stand?"

 

[Varys]

Truthfully, the idea of salt as a magic deterrent had been foreign to Varys as well. He too had thought of it only as a means to repel the occult. However, his study had shown much more use for the fairly common mineral. Of course, using magic of any kind on a pile of something meant to resist it didn't seem like it would give any indication as to whether said magic was successful or not, but that's where the blue-colored chemical the elf had introduced came into play.

The small field a short distance from the city would make for a fine spot. Varys had parked the wagon and placed the salt jars on the opened tailgate of the vehicle, a smell not unlike seawater wafting into the air as he waved a hand to Lottie's question. "Whichever you think will better allow you to focus, we're starting very simple, square one stuff." Opening the center jar, he pushed the other two back so that Lottie would see which she was meant to focus on. The simplest things like positioning could make large differences for beginners, and while his newfound love was powerful, she was a novice in controlling that potential.

Such a simplistic, yet safe stand-in for a target would make practice less stressful, and hopefully yield more results.

Sit or stand, he directed her to position herself about 10 feet away from the wagon and wiped the sweat from the morning sun from his brow with the collar of his shirt as he quickly padded across the dew-damp grass to position himself behind her. "Now, this one should be somewhat trivial. You've already shown proficiency in altering things, after all..." Varys placed his hands on her shoulders as he looked over them. "The salt is blue, and you are going to turn it red."

One would imagine with all the alteration she'd accomplished a few days ago, turning the campsite into something out of a vivid fever dream, the task would be simple. However, commanding the great power she had, condensing it into something so simple... would be a major first step for her.

"When you do this, don't think about the salt itself turning red. Focus on the open jar, as hard as you can, and recall the reddest things you can imagine. Apples, fire, rubies..."

His grip tightened slightly.

"Don't worry about anything happening. I'm right here.

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie chose to stand owing more to the fact she didn't think she could keep herself still if she sat. She followed his direction to where to position herself and crossed her arms over her in a tight hug as she stared, unbelieving, at the salt until Varys was ready.

"From blue... to red?" her tone said she agreed with the 'trivial' nature of his request. She had created whole new worlds with her magic and he wanted her to turn salt from blue... to red? Lottie couldn't hide her disappointment. Despite her fear perhaps she had wished he would ask her to create something a bit more exciting. Like a pegasus! Her fingers itched to make what her mind wanted to; it would be so easy.... No. Blue to red. Blue to red.

She took a deep breathe and nodded. Things that were red. Rubies...

No matter what Lottie conjured in her mind the salt did not change. Rubies, the red earth of their northern vineyards, her mothers lipstick, even the memory blood did not do it. She held that magic inside of her and willed it upon the salt but unlike when she created a passing fancy, wrestling with it over something like this was like wrestling a pig. After twenty minutes of failure she bent over panting.

"The salt's blocking all my magic now!" she accused angrily. "I can feel it, it just won't.."

 

[Varys]

Varys took note of Lottie's hesitance. She was hungry for more, to show her abilities beyond something she considered mundane and pointless. For twenty minutes she tried and failed to cause any noticeable effect on the salt, though if Varys had to guess, she'd squandered any chance after only ten, when her frustration became apparent.

Frustration.

He shook his head, patting her shoulder and stepping around in front of her to inspect the salt. "No, it's not blocking your magic, I think it's... something else." Varys murmured as he grabbed a handful of the salt and felt it in his palm. It was warm against his skin but not to the point of scalding him. Some part of Lottie's energy was making it into the compound, but not nearly as much as what should have been there.

"Frustration..." He mumbled, letting the sand slip through his fingers and back into the jar. Of course, he was once again thinking of how he'd learned and not how she would learn. Lottie's magic had always been tied to her emotions, for as long as he'd known her. Perhaps Varys could stifle his creativity to accomplish the mundane, but Lottie was not him. She didn't truly want the salt to turn red, so obviously, she couldn't.

A sly smile grew on his lips as he turned back to Lottie, walking back to his spot behind her. "You're right. Fuck this salt." He chuckled. "Do something better to it. Something you think would be more exciting."

If his suspicions were correct, this attempt should be much more interesting. His hands rested atop her shoulders, his chest pressing to her back as he peered over her, on the edge of his seat, If he'd been sitting in one.

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie had been hoping he would have finished that sentence with 'fuck it, let's go get some food' or 'fuck it, let's go buy you some more books or a pretty dress'. Not continue with the lesson. Clearly she was no good at magic unless it was some chaotic thing! What use would she be to him, or the people of Delradia?! She clenched her hands into tight fists as the word failure parroted itself over and over in her mind.

"I'm tired," she knew she sounded whiny but she hoped the pleading eyes would work on him as it had done on her sisters. It did not. Varys came to stand behind her with those comforting, confident hands on her shoulders again. She could feel him willing her to succeed and that made it all the worse that she couldn't. Focus! She chided herself and took a deep, calming breath. He was right, maybe it was the turning it red thing. Maybe she couldn't do red - she'd never liked red. She much preferred the colour green - the colour of the forest or fresh spring grass. Green brought with it the smells of spring and life and-

The salt turned green.

 

[Varys]

She did it!

The heavy doubt that weighed on his chest since they'd gotten here finally seemed to relent as Lottie gave it one final effort, concentrating on the jar of salt and focusing on the new freedom he'd given her to try and make something, anything happen to it. This time, there was no prolonged wait or frustrating blockage; at her very whim, the cerulean-tinted salt turned a bright emerald.

"That's it! Just like that Lot!"

Varys shouted, elated both at her success and the fact he wasn't the awful teacher he'd been beginning to believe himself to be. He could do this! He could teach her to control the immense power she had inside of her, even if it wasn't the same as his! The elf quickly scooped Lottie up in his arms, grinning ear to... the other side of his face. "I told you that you could do it!" He beamed, leaning in and pressing his lips briefly against her own. "That was great! We're finally on the right track."

Gently setting Lottie down, he quickly moved to the salt to inspect it. Aside from the adjusted color, it was totally unblemished. Not only had she changed the color, but she'd done it flawlessly. He was nearly glowing with pride as he tucked the jars away and turned back to her.

"I've figured it out, love. It's all to do with your desires." He propped himself up on the wagon and began to count things off on his fingers. "Back in Oban, you wanted to show me something beautiful. You summoned those glowing butterflies, remember? Then, on the road, you wanted something to happen so badly, even though you didn't have a clear goal, that all hell broke loose." Tilting his head as if to bring attention to his missing ear, he continued. "The other day, you wanted to save me, so you conjured up an illusion so powerful it tore apart an entire group of mercenaries."

Finally, he gestured to the green salt. "And just now, you wanted the salt to turn green. So it did. You can control your magic, Lottie. You just have to truly want the result you are aiming for." Hopping off of the wagon, he walked back to her, wondering just where they could take this new revelation.

"So... What else do you want right now?"

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

"That's it! Just like that Lot!"

Varys' jubilation snapped her out of her pretty daydream. She hadn't been trying at all to work her magic. She had merely been thinking about the happiness the Widow Woods had brought her, so it took her by surprise when he suddenly swept her into his arms in excitement and spun her about with a mad grin. Shit, what had she done? How had she done it?

"I did?" she looked at the salt over her shoulder, bewildered, but when she looked back to Varys he was too busy driving the air out of her lungs with a harmless kiss for her to think of anything else. His excitement was infectious and soon she was grinning back even though she still had no clue what it was she had done. Lottie watched as he all but jogged to the piles of salt and then her own eyes widened to see it had turned green. The exact shade of green she had been thinking of; the colour of the woodland leaves on a spring day. Just after the rain...

Her stomach sunk.

"Varys, I-"

She stopped herself as he ploughed on with his explanation, her eyebrows knitting together in concentration as she tried to understand the implications of what he said. How on Arethil was she meant to control her desires?

"Right now?" Lottie tore her eyes away from the jar of traitorous green to Varys and his excitement. Her concerns faded just a little at the warmth of his smile. If he was confident this was manageable then it had to be. "I don't know, I guess I'm a little hungry, tired... Would have preferred staying in that bed to coming out here to turn salt green," she smirked.

 

[Varys]

Excited as he was, he'd somewhat lost sense of the lingering tension that had been in the air between them ever since last night. The sudden surge of emotion between the two of them, the unspoken desire of both of them to explore those uncharted feelings further... it hadn't left him last night, and he doubted it had passed out of her mind either.

Varys had been able to put it out of his mind to focus on her training, but it was obvious that she had already grown exhausted, and the time to address last night's cliffhanger was perhaps coming a bit faster than he'd anticipated. He felt a bit of heat come to his face as he chuckled, almost nervously.

"Yeah, well..." He turned to look back at the salt. She'd made good on the progress she'd aimed to make, but it was still midday, and there was more work to be done. On the other hand... he turned back to Lottie, with that playful little smirk on her face, practically daring him to take the bait. Funny how that mischief behind her eyes could take his mind off any thoughts of training...

Had she always been this devious?

"I suppose we could work on some... supplementary material from our room." He conceded, a smirk matching hers growing on his face as he nodded back to the wagon. "I can teach you some elven, you can try working your magic on some things from bed. The day is still young, after all... plenty of time to explore."

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

It was one thing to tease a man, another entirely to be teased back. Lottie was always reminded of a dual when flirting and how well a man did depended on her level of interest. Usually, she was a lot more coy and harder to entice - her sisters had even called her picky, but none of them had been Varys. A man who made her heart stutter with just a look in her direction. Heat crept into her cheeks and she attempted to hide it by fussing with her hair.

"I'd like that - Elves that is - i mean, Elven. Elven lessons sound good," Fuck. Did her voice sound shaky? "And now I know your salt works, maybe I can try another colour," or something else. Could she turn it into something else entirely? She had a hard time thinking of anything else she desired after Varys had bit back about the bed and the Saint knew she did not need to create that illusion by mistake. Her cheeks grew hotter with the mere thought of it. Was it hot out here? She felt as though she were drenched in sweat and her skin prickled with unseen fire.

"I... what's your favourite colour? Maybe I can try that." what's your favourite colour? Saint, Lottie, are you 16?

 

[Varys]

Just as quickly as she'd thrown him off balance with her flirtation, he'd found his footing and pushed back. Now she was the one stammering and blushing, not that the heat had ever left his face. For whatever reason, seeing her stumble over her words made him feel far less awkward.

This was a woman whom Varys had built up in his mind, setting such a high bar for himself that the thought of actually flirting with her was intimidating. But... Lottie was the same as him, he began to realize. A normal person, with problems and quirks of her own, maybe, but a woman nonetheless.

And she was a woman that he'd been thinking about for a long time.

"Lottie..." He spoke in a low voice, not answering the fatuous question about his favorite color. He saw the way she was squirming, the red hue threatening to burn at her face as she thought about his words. Varys might not have been an adept teacher, but he'd dealt with women before. He had a pretty good idea of what was really on her mind.

Stepping forward, he leaned down to press his lips to the side of her face, his voice soft against her cheek as he slid an arm around her waist to pull her closer. "Let's go home." He mumbled, moving to kiss her other cheek now as he continued. "And pick up where we left off."

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

She was still cussing herself seven ways to Sunday as he pressed a kiss to her cheek, drawing her out of her spiralling panic and back to him. The next kiss had her eyes closing and she was nodding before really comprehending what it was Varys was saying. When her mind finally did catch up that blush came back in force.

"Okay," was all Lottie could manage to whisper before twining her fingers with his and letting him lead them back to the city.

The walk gave her time to think which was both a blessing and a curse. How could this feel as though it were moving too fast and yet not fast enough at the same time? She had known this man for years, had had these feelings too for months during their travels - perhaps even longer - just not admitted them to herself. There was little doubt in her mind what she wanted yet she hesitated. Fear whispered cruelly in her ear; what if you give yourself to him completely and he leaves?

The inn loomed before them suddenly and then, they were back in their room. It suddenly felt surprisingly small and she, even smaller.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about that favourite colour now?"

 

[Varys]

He realized there was far more meaning behind his words than perhaps he expected there to be. Yes, Varys considered himself now to be her lover, but there was a barrier to cross that they hadn't dared approach the night before. Not out of a lack of desire, but out of a mutual unsureness. Varys had grown to attached to his last foray into physical love, and it had taken its toll on him when the relationship ended. He also knew that Lottie had been treated as no woman should be. Such disgusting behavior would not leave a mind unscarred.

Varys knew what he wanted, but the idea of bringing that dark cloud back to the forefront of her mind was one he loathed.

Still, by the time they'd returned home, the tension in the air was too thick for them to simply ignore the topic any longer. Lottie shifted uncomfortably, and Varys felt his heartbeat far more prominently than he should have. Though the room was spacious, suddenly it felt as though certain aspects of it were more exaggerated than others. The chair he'd sat in when he'd slid onto his lap and kissed him. The bed where she'd been atop him before they'd fallen asleep.

"Lottie..."

Varys, bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes lingering on hers as she asked him the question, some attempt to break the iron-clad tension. He smiled, replying, "I'm growing quite fond of the green in your eyes. The way you've been looking at me all day is beginning to drive me mad." He chuckled, reaching out to rest his hands on the sides of her face, brushing the stray locks of hair from said gaze as his palms slid down to her arms.

"Listen... I'm not pressuring you into anything. I know... that you've been burned before. I don't wish to open old wounds." Varys stepped closer, his hands now moving from her arms to the dip of her waist. "But I feel as though you deserve love, and to be loved. I want to be the one who gives you that love..."

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie's heart beat like the thundering hooves of the Delradian cavalry as he stepped closer to her, boxing her in up against the door. He filled her entire vision and overwhelmed her senses with the tender touch of his hands through her choppy curls and against her skin. Down those hands slid igniting a trail of fire all down her skin. She was suddenly too hot and the urge to shirk off her jacket built. If there were not enough to leave her breathless his words brought her to her knees. It was as though he had read the secrets written on her soul and sought to banish them then brand her with these words instead.

She swallowed, her eyes darting between his as she sought for any sign, any shadow, that what he said was not true. That he might take what she gave and then cast her aside like some spoilt, broken doll. She found nothing but the most heart aching love mixed with a carnal passion she knew presented itself in the flush off her cheeks. So Lottie took the risk, before she lost the chance.

Surging up onto her toes Lottie took his lips and her hands wove their way up his arms to settle about his shoulders so her fingers could play in the silken tresses of his hair. Breathless she pulled back just once to gaze up into his eyes.

"I want that, too. I want you, Varys. Forever and always."

 

[Varys]

Nearly an entire day passed outside of their room, but the two of them barely perceived it. Captured in the throes of exploring one another, acting upon every hidden passion and desire they'd been holding inside of themselves for one another, the sun could have collapsed and burned it all to ash and they would have been none the wiser. In their bed was safety, a bastion of bliss and love in one another's embrace. Wounds hastily stitched over were re-opened and healed, leaving only painless scars behind, doubts that nagged and corrupted the mind were silenced and laid to rest.

Varys could have spent longer with her there, reveling in her, savoring every inch of her body and every word to pass her lips. Ultimately though, a looming foe would eventually arise, forcing its way into their haven and pulling them from passion with a tug most painful. It was an inevitable enemy, but one Varys had hoped would take much longer to seek them out. Its name was...

"Hungry..." The elf rolled off of the side of the bed with a whining groan. Whatever snacks they'd had stashed in their room had been hastily eaten in a bed to avoid going outside before they were ready, but the well had run dry, and Varys could no longer ignore the dull throbbing in his gut. "I give up, we have to get something to eat, Lot. I'm dying."

An exaggeration, but an accurate depiction of how he felt at the moment. Varys' feet padded against the bare floor of the room as he searched around for his clothes, strewn about who knows where. He hadn't worn the damned things in almost a full day and hell if he remembered where they'd ended up. Eventually, he reached for his bag and pulled out something older, a less-than-pristine white tunic to cover his chest. His trousers came next, and he found them haphazardly discarded underneath the bed, sans belt.

Oh right, that had come into play at one point. Where did that end up?

"How long you figure it's been?" He smirked over at his apprentice-turned-lover slyly. "I admit something was interfering with my perception of time..."

Lottie Beaufort

 

[Lottie Beaufort]

Lottie rolled onto her back so she could watch his little treasure hunt about the room but made no other movements to suggest she intended on leaving the rumpled bed. That light that had been burning in her eyes began to fade at the very thought of leaving this room. Apprehension crept in and wariness. No, she was not ready to return to face reality just yet. With reality came questions and anxieties she wasn't sure she was ready to face. Over the last day or so she had taken the first step but there were many more to go to wholly fix what was broken inside of her, and that wasn't even thinking about the enemies on their heels or the world they intended on changing. It all felt so daunting after the secluded bubble they had created for themselves.

Lottie began to chew her lip and she drew the sheets up around herself as the sudden feeling of being very small crept over her.

"At least a day and a half," she guessed, eyes wandering to the drawn curtains. They were sturdy things but did not block the light fully. She had vague memories of it being warmer at certain parts of their time together than others. Though of course that had been largely down to what they had been doing... She scrambled for that lazy arrogance she had worn like a suit of armour but found it gone. Heat blazed her cheeks instead.

"Do we really have to go?"

 

[Varys]

Varys had only gotten half-dressed when he saw the turmoil in Lottie's eyes; It was obvious in contrast to how she'd looked for nearly the last day and a half. His gaze slid over to the door leading out into the real world, and he too felt his chest fall a bit. Outside, there was no certainty, no guaranteed safety, and undying warmth. If this were all some incredible dream that the two of them had somehow shared, that door would be its ending, a brutal return to a harsh reality. The idea of ending such a dream was unbearable, even to Varys.

But this was not a dream.

Tightening his belt around his waist, he walked around to her side of the bed, lowering to a knee so that he could lean in and place a kiss upon her lips before she sank entirely into the confines of her sheet. A hand came up, holding it in place so that she could not pull it up any further, and a soft smile played at his lips as he rested his forehead against her own. "This doesn't end once we leave this room. I do not stop being yours in the face of reality, Charlotte." Even if he had wanted to maintain such a facade, he would find himself unable. Things had changed between them, and they could not be the same ever again.

"I understand..." He spoke quietly, raising his other hand to stroke at her cheek gently. "That it's frightening. I'm scared too, to go back out there when I could stay inside with you. But..." Though Varys knew she loved him so, he also knew that he was not enough. There was more she wanted, higher goals she wished to attain. She would not fly if she hid herself in the nest. "...We'll be going back out together. As a team. And if you thought I was stubborn about sticking with you before..." A cheeky grin grew on his face. "You should see what I'm willing to go through for somebody who's my lover, and not just my apprentice."

Lottie Beaufort