Dangerous thoughts could get her killed. Yet that was all Zana could seem to think about.
What do you want?
A question nobody had ever asked the Dreadlord. Why would anybody care? Dreadlords were there to serve the people of Vel Anir, to protect humanity and fight so they might be able to lead free lives. Sure, she was aware, it wasn't strictly true because of the Houses but then that was why Luana existed. To help the people. They really cared. Didn't... they? The last few days had thrown all of her assumptions out the window and began to crack at the years of indoctrination the Academy had carefully built by breaking her very soul. She had come home from the mission feeling more lost than she had ever felt before. Even after the death of her father, the mute news of her mothers passing. Zana had felt lost and alone then but nothing akin to this. At least then she had had the Academy to throw herself into but when she began questioning that too?
It had all got too much. She just wanted the thoughts to stop.
The only thing that got her out of this kind of funk was baking - a secret she would admit to nobody - and going for a ride. It was probably a strange thought for many that someone who had just got back off the road would want to get back in the saddle again so soon. But it was the only way Zana could stop thinking.
Gone was the armour and any mark of what she was. Zana wanted... yes... she wanted to feel... normal today. Quietly she stepped into the stables reserved for the Dreadlords and made her way along the stands to her mount who put his head over and whinnied in welcome. A steward rushed forward to prepare the mount but she put out a hand.
"I... would like to do this," Zana said the words slowly. They felt odd but she seized the shovel from him and stepped into the stall. It didn't take long before she was working up a bit of a sweat, but the repetitive work was helping to clear her mind as she focused on the manual job.
What do you want?
A question nobody had ever asked the Dreadlord. Why would anybody care? Dreadlords were there to serve the people of Vel Anir, to protect humanity and fight so they might be able to lead free lives. Sure, she was aware, it wasn't strictly true because of the Houses but then that was why Luana existed. To help the people. They really cared. Didn't... they? The last few days had thrown all of her assumptions out the window and began to crack at the years of indoctrination the Academy had carefully built by breaking her very soul. She had come home from the mission feeling more lost than she had ever felt before. Even after the death of her father, the mute news of her mothers passing. Zana had felt lost and alone then but nothing akin to this. At least then she had had the Academy to throw herself into but when she began questioning that too?
It had all got too much. She just wanted the thoughts to stop.
The only thing that got her out of this kind of funk was baking - a secret she would admit to nobody - and going for a ride. It was probably a strange thought for many that someone who had just got back off the road would want to get back in the saddle again so soon. But it was the only way Zana could stop thinking.
Gone was the armour and any mark of what she was. Zana wanted... yes... she wanted to feel... normal today. Quietly she stepped into the stables reserved for the Dreadlords and made her way along the stands to her mount who put his head over and whinnied in welcome. A steward rushed forward to prepare the mount but she put out a hand.
"I... would like to do this," Zana said the words slowly. They felt odd but she seized the shovel from him and stepped into the stall. It didn't take long before she was working up a bit of a sweat, but the repetitive work was helping to clear her mind as she focused on the manual job.