Private Tales Brothels and Broken Things

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi wished she could share his excitement but it felt as though she had been given a task she was set up to fail. It was a feeling she couldn't shake, not whilst her mind was still grappling with the fact it was even happening. The hand on her stomach was what finally made her open her eyes to look at him and his smile twisted her heart into more knots. Her partner with his huge, huge heart with not enough people to fill it all would be the best father to their child. If she failed in everything else, at least she had made sure they had him. The proclamation of love made her take a deep, shaky breathe. Get it together.

"I'm not very good at that..." she joked weakly, a wobbly smile lifting her lips. It was an understatement they had joked about before. "But... you can pass me my tea before I throw up again."

 

[Cassian]

Cassian's dimples returned, deeper than ever as he let out a husky laugh of pure relief. "I know.." he answered gently, reaching for her tea to set it into her hands. He sighed deeply, squeezing at her thigh and shaking his head slowly as he tried to wrap his head around this. He was trying not to get himself too excited, aware of how afraid she was and reluctant to give her any further reason to fear disappointing him.

Still, he couldn't wait to talk to her about it. He couldn't wait to tell everyone. To tell Kain and Alec and the others, to tell Fraeya that she'd be an aunt. He swallowed all of it for now, there would be time, but right now he wanted her to feel better.

"Give me a half hour." he told her and stood, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead, though he got quickly carried away and peppered a few more on her cheeks and lips before dragging himself away and going back along the hallway.

He returned as promised, after a half hour. "Come on." he smirked, reaching to take her hands and tugging her close to him to walk her to the bathroom. A warm bath had been drawn, the scent of the lavender bath salts filling the room that flickered with the light of a few dozen candles.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi watched him go with the cup cradled in her hands and shook her head when he was out of sight. He practically vibrated with his excitement and she had played enough games of poker to know he would be next to useless at keeping this information quiet for long. She maybe had a week or two to come to terms with the shock and formulate a plan before the rest of the world knew. Yet even though she knew she had to strategize she couldn't formulate the energy or will power to do it. Her head spun still. So she sat and drunk her tea and then lay down to close her eyes for just a few minutes.

When Cassian returned to take her to her surprise she raised a brow but went without protest. He couldn't have created a nursery in half an hour could he? The thought threatened to undo the wonders the tea was doing on her stomach. Instead what she saw made her smile and her eyes pool with tears.

"I'm glad our child has you as a father, Cassian," she said softly, turning to him to place a hand over his heart. "You have so much love to give."

 

[Cassian]

Well fuck.

His chest ached after what she'd said and he glanced down at her hand there with a quiet laugh under his breath. He hadn't felt flustered in quite some time, but he wasn't quite sure what to say to that. He'd been broken, considered himself worthless, had no family and not a single person to trust. How suddenly his life had completely changed because of her. How could he not want to love her with everything he had?

He breathed deeply and cupped her face in both hands, drawing her into a soft, lingering kiss before drawing back to smile at her. "And they'll be one lucky kid with you as a mother." he rumbled quietly. "You're not goin' through a single second of this alone. Alright? We can do this." he assured her..

"Get in. Relax." he jerked a chin toward the bath with a smirk.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Doubt clouded her eyes like a heavy thunderstorm but she didn't argue with him. Arguing wouldn't change the decision they had made. They both wanted this child even if it was terrifying and it was a truth she was going to have to keep holding onto to stop her from getting thrown adrift in this storm. She slowly peeled herself out of her robes and lowered herself into the bath. After days on the road her muscles welcomed the hot water and the soothing scents of the candles he had lit. She let out a quiet sigh and let her head drop back, her eyes shut.

"This is nice," she murmured as she begun to let her body relax. Lexi opened her good eye to glance over at him. "Are you coming in?" her lips curled invitingly.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian sighed deeply at her question and scratched at his stubbled cheek as he walked around the bath, watching her with a solemn shake of his head. "You know, lass. Sometimes I think all you want me for is my body..." he said with a tone of hurt and disappointment, but he couldn't hold his grin back for long and his cheeks dimpled.

He knelt down next to the tub and lifted the soap, lathering it between his hands and taking her arm to massage it into her skin, his thumbs firm on her muscles. "You know how excited you get when I join you.." he purred.. "You need to relax." he pursed his lips and frowned, nodding as seriously as he could, but his eyes creased with a smile.

It was the best day of his life, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for feeling so excited when she was so frightened. The least he could do was try to help her relax.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

The banter was expected, welcome even because it was normal, but instead of joining her like he usually would he bent and tended to her instead. Lexi's mouth almost fell open as she stared at him gently lathering her arm up in soap. When had the word relax ever not gone hand in hand with sex when she was concerned? Sex was relaxing, especially with him, especially when she didn't have to think about her strength or being different because he loved her whole.

She sunk glumly further into the water.

"Nobody warned me being pregnant meant no more bath time fun."

 

[Cassian]

Cassian laughed, his cheeks dimpling and the sound like deep, rolling thunder. He couldn't keep up with the pretence that he didn't intend on climbing into that bath with her, but it seemed for once, she had less self-restraint than he did. He stared at her silently, his eyes creased with the warmth of his smile. He wondered how long it would take him to get used to her saying that. She was pregnant. Carrying his child.

He sighed deeply and pinched at his own shoulder until it hurt, his brow furrowing at the nip. "Nope. Real." he told himself aloud before literally slithering his way over the edge of the tub, still clothed.

"Oh-no. I-seem-to-have-dropped-the-soap..." he rumbled with a grin, and slipped his hand under the water as the other curled around the back of her neck and drew her into a seductive kiss.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Nope. Real.

Lexi glanced over to him when he spoke with a frown of confusion but it didn't take long for her to realise what he was muttering about, not with that grin on his face. Her heart constricted again at the pure joy he was radiating and she felt a flash of jealousy she couldn't be enjoying it right alongside him. But all she could think of was that grin gone, and nothing but heartache in those eyes instead of joy. Her heart hurt even when he tried to make her laugh, make her forget the worries, with his adorable comedic show.

Her returning kiss was a furious, passionate thing filled with need for him, for his love. When she pulled back she ran her wet fingers into his hair.

"Please promise me you're not going to treat me like I might break..."

 

[Cassian]

That, he couldn't promise. He knew she wouldn't break, but their penchant for violence and destroying entire rooms in the throes of lust was likely going to need to stop. He'd be sure to please her in whatever ways he could, without the bruises. Concern flickered through his mind at that thought. There was no way she was going to stay off of the front line, at least not any time soon. Lexi knew her own body enough to know what her limits were and what she could handle, but she'd never carried a child, and it would make her far more fragile than she was used to.

He sighed deeply rather than answer, and dragged her into another kiss as he pushed the thoughts away and let his hands roam under the water. He hadn't thought it possible to love her any more than he already did, but each day proved that wrong, and today even more so. Today she became the mother of his child, and he was going to do everything in his power to treat her like the Queen she was.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Silence answered her question better than words could in a way. She should have been worried about what that meant - she was - but she also didn't want to think about it right then as selfishly as that sounded. Lexi just wanted to enjoy this moment as much as she could in her fragile state, wanted him to enjoy it even more so, this man who loved her so fiercely. When they parted panting though and with Cassian more than a little drenched she ran a hand through his wet hair and smiled.

"Do you mind if we don't tell people just yet? Whilst you were..." her lips twitched at the memory. "The doctor said I was only three months along... that's still early and I don't... I don't want to jynx anything."

 

[Cassian]

His chest rose and fell deeply as he dragged greedy breaths back into his aching lungs, his lips still peppering a trail of kisses from her mouth to her neck and along her collar bone until her fingers ran into his hair and he looked up at her, his gaze heavy-lidded and his smile lop-sided.

Her request sobered him up a little and his brow quirked. Three months? He hadn't thought about how far along she was, but in half a year they'd have a child, and Cassian felt his heart stumble. He smiled broadly as his hand captured her face to draw her in for a tender kiss.

"Of course, lass. I'll keep my mouth shut.." he promised. It was going to be difficult considering he wanted to yell about it in the streets. "You should tell your parents and brother soon, though." he huffed a laugh. He could only imagine how excited they'd both be, and he'd no doubt be subject to many a hard slaps on the back.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi grimaced at the thought. Her father and brother would be elated but her mother...?

She decided to distract herself with another kiss or two, dragging Cassian the rest of the way into the bath and all but laying on top of him. Water sloshed over the sides and a few candles hissed when doused but she barely paid it any mind. There were people who insisted on cleaning these rooms so at least they would have something to do tomorrow.

"We can think about that later," she brushed aside and ran her fingers over his cheek. "How are you? You hit your head pretty hard when you fell..." her lips twitched.

 

[Cassian]

Cass let out a low rumble, his arms sliding around her back as she settled atop him. The dimpling grin that he wore dwindled at her question however, and the skin under her fingertips heated. His throat cleared awkwardly and his huff was sharp. "I'm not sure what you're talkin' bout, lass.." he answered casually.

"You weren't feelin' too well yourself. Suppose your mind was playin' tricks.." he winked, and his lips twitched.

"I'm more than fine." he sighed. "How are you feelin'?" he asked with a quirk of a brow as he grazed his lips along her jaw and peppered a few slow kisses there.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

"Still scared shitless," Lexi admitted with a grimace before his kisses eased her expression into one of utter contentment. She trailed her fingers over his skin an absentminded fashion. "It doesn't feel like it's... happening. When I... imprisoned the gorgon in my own soul they ran so many tests because they thought I would die. I thought I was going to die. So for the past... ten? eleven? Years I have thought that children just were not on the table. I was young when it happened and it didn't interest me as an 18 year old so it never really... bothered me. It was just... Oh I can't do it, oh well. But now?"

Lexi took a deep breath and opened her eyes to glance up at him.

"It's a lot to process that I even can on top of realising I wanted it when I've been telling myself I didn't care," she sighed. "Did you always want to be a dad?"

 

[Cassian]

He sighed and nodded in understanding, his fingers tracing up and down her back as he held her, listening with a gentle frown as she spoke. His heart squeezed when she said that she wanted it, and he couldn't help the smile that curled at the corners of his lips.

His eyes narrowed at her question and he shook his head, lifting a hand to push her wet hair back around her ear. "No.. I had a really terrible father. My mother died bringin' my sister into the world and we never got to keep her, and then we lost Remi.." his brow furrowed. "Nothin' in my experience would have led me to want children. Even after I met you and I just knew that you were all I wanted, so it hadn't really crossed my mind because I didn't think it was on the table either. Now that it is, I want it more than anythin'... And I still can't believe how fuckin' lucky I got." he sighed deeply, studying her face.

"I'm scared too, lass. But i'm not my father and you're the strongest person I've ever met. We're gonna be fine."

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

She said nothing as he spoke and listened quietly instead, nodding every now and then. She had ended up being responsible for his fathers death and she didn't regret it, but she regretted the other losses he had suffered. If she could she would have undone it all, even if it would have never led him to her. She'd have been content knowing he was well and happy. Her fingers brushed over his cheek and then she laughed in a mildly hysteric manner at his assertion they would all be fine.

"I don't feel very strong right now... I thought you hated me when I..." she swallowed and lowered her eyes for a second before looking back up at him. "You might have to be the strong one this time."

 

[Cassian]

"Hated you?" Cassian's brow furrowed and his head shook, his fingers gripping gently at her chin to lift her gaze to his. "I'm sorry that I was angry. I was.." he huffed. "I should have handled it better, but fuck me Lexi I could never hate you. I've never loved anythin' more in my life." he told her firmly, ensuring she understood that.

"I'll be whatever you need me to be. But you have to promise me that you'll.. Be careful. You need to eat and rest, those things might need to come first for a while." his brow rose.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

The solid knot of fear that she might lose him forever like she had Rose begun to ease at his quiet and powerful assurance. She had gotten over Rose in the way of most youths; by drinking and throwing herself into her work instead of tackling her emotions head on. But with Cassian... She didn't think any of that would have worked. He'd left a mark on her soul as obvious as the Gorgon.

Which is why she wanted to give him that promise.

"How can I Cass? We could be at war soon. There could be more attacks..." she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her head at been a chaotic mess trying to figure out the threads of this plot since the fire had begun. The revelation had made it harder to think. "I've got to keep these people safe."

 

[Cassian]

"Lets not get ahead of ourselves. We can fix this thing before it gets to anything on the scale of a war." he sighed, his fingers kneading gently at her back. "We'll figure it out.. Though, I ent sure if you know this but.." he glanced around as thought afraid someone might overhear.

"We're not too bad at lookin' after ourselves too." he whispered against her cheek and punctuated it with a kiss.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi laughed softly and shook her head at this man she had found herself so helplessly in love with. He was impossible, her Cassian.

"You can't even look after a shirt," she teased and then begun to climb out of what was left of the bathwater. She wrapped herself in an overly fluffy towel he had left on the hot stones so that it would be warm and shook her head again at every thoughtful gesture he made.

"Thank you.... for doing all this."

 

[Cassian]

Cassian's face fell into a scowl as she mentioned his shirts. "That is my curse. Though I will note that you owe me a few shirts yourself.." he grumbled and sat up as she climbed out of the tub, a wolfish smirk on his lips.

"Well there was supposed to be some massage involved." he looked to the oils left unused at the side of the tub. "But you had other ideas.." he grinned and stood, stretching as the water rushed from his skin..

"Not that i'm complainin'...Though I suppose, there's always time." his brows waggled and he made a 'seductive' purring sound as he flaunted his herculean self with a hip wiggle.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi stared at him as he inched towards her and then with a very unfeminine snort doubled over into fits of hysterics. Cassian was a beautiful man, but none less so than when he was doing one of those god awful sexy dances. At least there were no silky scarfs in the vicinity this time. She was laughing so hard she had begun to feel sick again and so threw a towel at him in an effort to get him to stop so she could breathe.

"Maybe tomorrow," she conceded. If Cassian felt like he needed to provide and care for her in some way she could give him these small cherished moments. "I am pretty exhausted. It's been.... it's been a long day," she sighed. And tomorrow started the real work to figure out who was behind the attack.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian's eyes creased in a grin as he wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the tub. He walked to cup her face and sighed deeply. "I love hearing you laugh like that.." he smirked, and dipped to leave a kiss at the corner of her lips, and another on her forehead.

"It certainly has. Come on. Lets get some rest." he agreed with a rumble, and dropped his voice to a whisper against her hair.

“Ești totul pentru mine.”

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi didn't think she had ever felt so loved. She could feel his around her like a warm blanket that made her feel safe, loved... home. She leant into him as he wound himself about her and guided her towards the bedroom.

"I don't know that language," she said softly and tilted her head back to look up at him as they walked. Most of the languages she knew were ones that were dead, or widely spoken in the world today. "Are you going to teach our child secret languages?" she teased before letting him tumble her into the bed and tuck her in.