Private Tales The Starling and the Bear

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus’ gaze dropped as Isla’s question hung between them, her gentle touch grounding him even as his thoughts swirled. He exhaled slowly, his fingers absently tracing small circles against her side. “...Me, I guess,” he said finally, his voice soft but weighted. “This life. Carrying our child.”

His eyes lifted to hers, vulnerable and searching. “You wanting to hide it so badly... I can’t help but feel like maybe it’s too much. That I’ve asked too much of you. I know it’s a lot—being here, being with me, everything that comes with it.” He hesitated, his throat tightening as he fought to say the words that had gnawed at him. “I don’t want you to feel... trapped.”

The last word lingered in the air, laden with his own unspoken fears. Lynus looked away briefly, as though afraid to see the answer written on her face, before forcing himself to meet her gaze again. “Am I selfish?” he asked quietly. “Bringing you into this life? Giving you so much to carry when you’ve already endured so much?”

 

[Isla]

“Lynus…” Isla reached out to cup his jaw in her hands, guiding him up to look at her. “Don’t think such foolish things.” She tried to smile, but there was an uncertainty she could not shake from her facial expressions. She held his gaze for a few seconds longer before releasing his jaw and grabbing his hand to guide over her stomach.

She sighed quietly and finally spoke. “You are not selfish. And no, I do not regret any of…this.” She gestured around them. “I certainly do not feel trapped. In fact, I think I have never felt more free, Lynus. Its strange, not having my life so structured and regimented in order to keep me perfect enough to exchange for money.” The smile on her face shifted into sadness.

“Maybe I am the selfish one for wishing to keep it private for a while longer,” she thought aloud. “Gossip spreads like wildfire around here. Part of me is bracing for rumors to spiral the moment we do share the news. I’m sure it looks poorly on me, given my former occupation…showing up here and pregnant so soon after I left the brothel.” She rested her hand over his. “Then again, with how much your father hates me, I’m sure questions of legitimacy were inevitable regardless of how long it has been since I was working.”

Her laugh was cold and quiet as she shook her head. “I wouldn’t even blame you if you questioned it.” Though, she was certain there were no other possibilities. The Lady had increased her concentration of the tea after Nathaniel had left. It was a pleasant surprise to find out that it hadn’t made her completely barren in the end. But Isla had also recalled her own creations after she had left. Ingredients were swapped and adjusted, but maybe not as potent. And of course, she’d found a small vial she had completely forgotten to take one night. The father of her child was not a question to Isla.

“But that isn’t the only reason I am asking for time, Lynus.” She leaned her head on him. “I am scared.” She admitted quietly. “I am very, very scared of this all. I am terrified of how it will affect you. I feel so horrible to put you. Back in that position so soon after Selena passed away with your first child. And I am scared it will end how my first pregnancy ended.” She pulled her hand away to swipe a tear off of her cheek. “It is early and so much can go wrong if anything I’ve read in the library is true. Did you know that losing one child increases the chance of it happening again?” She sniffled quietly. “I am scared I will lose the thing I’ve wanted for so long and you will never forgive me. I know I am to blame because of my past, but I don’t know if I can handle an entire keep of people blaming me as well.”

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus frowned deeply as he took Isla’s hands in his own, his thumbs brushing over her knuckles. “I never doubted it for one moment,” he said quickly, his voice steady and filled with conviction. “Not you, not our child. You’re my wife, Isla. Nothing—nothing you’ve been through changes that. I don't give a fuck about gossip.” he frowned, though, he knew she did care.

His jaw tightened as she continued, speaking of her fears, her past, and the suffocating judgment she felt closing in. The mention of Selena hit him like a blow to the chest, but not for the reasons she might think. He shook his head firmly, his voice softening. “Selena… what happened with her—it was out of my hands, Isla. I could never blame her, and I’d never blame you if anything... I know you’re scared. I am too. But what happened before doesn’t mean it will happen again, for either of us. Perhaps, we both deserve some peace and happiness."

He released one of her hands to reach up and gently wipe away the tears streaking her cheeks. “Your past doesn’t make you unworthy of that. Of happiness. Of a family. You’re stronger than anyone gives you credit for, and you don’t have to carry this weight alone anymore.”

His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close as he let out a soft sigh, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You don’t have to stay here if it’s making you feel like this. We can leave. We’ll go far away—just the two of us. Somewhere warm, by the sea.”

Lynus pulled back enough to look into her eyes, his expression resolute but kind. “We’ll leave in the morning, we can stay away for as long as you like, at least until we know everything is okay."

He cupped her face, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. You’re not alone in this, Isla. You never will be—not as long as I’m breathing.”

 

[Isla]

Isla was quiet for a while, only letting her uneven breaths fill the air. Laying out her fears made her feel so foolish. Perhaps they were far-fetched and dramatic possibilities, but they plagued her mind day and night for weeks now. “Somewhere warm, by the sea.” She sighed into his neck. “Just for a little while, okay?” She mumbled, turning her attention solely towards Lynus. “You need to relax, too. Pick anywhere that will make you feel more relaxed and we will leave tomorrow. Anywhere you want. Surprise me with the place that makes you feel the happiest.”

She looked up at him, her smile failing once again while she contemplated ruining whatever peace he had tried to make. She had a question. A simple question, but a question that might very well send him back to the liquor cabinet. But Isla couldn’t hold it any longer, letting uncertainty and tragedy hang over her.

“Can I ask you something?” Her voice was quiet, her gaze monitoring his every subtle movement. His response didn’t matter to her, for she immediately followed it up with, “What happened to Selena? How…how did they…die?” The moment the words left her mouth, she regretted them, her grip on his arm tightening as if she worried he might let go and leave her right there. “Was it sickness? Were there physicians there? Was Mabel there? Or Dr. Nightingale? Was someone at fault for what happened or was it just…nature?” Her words increased to a frantic pace. “Maybe we could hire one of the dreadlord healers. They’re known for being able to bring people back from death’s door in battle, right? Why not during childbirth in case something goes wrong?” She took a gasping breath at the end of it all and stared up at him, waiting for a response to any part of her barrage of questions.

 

[Lynus Anireth]

Lynus’ eyes closed briefly at the onslaught of questions, his chest tightening as the memories began to resurface. He took a deep breath before meeting her gaze. He knew she had to ask, that her worry and curiosity could not be avoided, but it didn’t make it any easier to relive.

“Isla…” His voice cracked slightly, but he steadied himself, his eyes softening with a sadness that had never fully left him. “No.. Nobody was to blame… though I blamed myself for long enough.”

He took her hand, threading his fingers with hers as he spoke of what had happened. "Selena was adamant that she wanted no magic near our child. She didn’t trust healers at all, she especially didn't trust Dreadlords. She said… if mundane healers couldn’t save her, then it wasn’t meant to be..”

Lynus let out a quiet sigh, his throat tightening as the old pain clawed at him. "She made that choice when she thought our son would live. We were told..She believed at least one of them would survive, she chose our son."

His gaze dropped. “I should have fought her on it. I should’ve ignored her wishes.” He clenched his jaw, the guilt washing over him again, like it always did when he thought of that night. “Her wrath would’ve been far easier to deal with.”

He let the silence settle between them for a moment, fighting the grief that threatened to overtake him. Finally, he looked back at her, his expression quiet but serious.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, or to our child. I'll have the entire fucking Dreadlord army on standby if need be."

 

[Isla]

“You’re still blaming yourself. I want to hear every story of her, but I won’t tolerate you thinking anything is or was your fault, Bear.” Isla squeezed his hand gently, her heart breaking with every morsel of information Lynus offered on his late wife and child. A terrible pang of guilt wracked her upon realizing she had been relieved in some way, that it was not a fault of Lynus, nor of anyone except one woman’s unrelenting stubbornness. Though, if Lynus and Arryn had made anything abundantly clear, it was that they thought Isla was also stubborn.

Isla was also, to some degree, reasonable. Though, it was more her fears that made her so. But knowing that Lynus would let her have her way with this was one less tick on her long list of fears. “An army?” She mused, pulling him into a tight embrace. They remained like that for several minutes, silently. “How about one Dreadlord. One who isn’t trying to steal my husband, that is.” She chuckled.

“I’m sure Mabel will be more than capable of every possibility, but I really appreciate you letting me have this. If only to ease some of my newfound anxieties.” She whispered quietly before releasing him.

Isla stood abruptly and clasped her hands together, ignoring the few tears that still left tracks as they ran down her face. “Alright, my dear. Enough of the panicking. We’ve many more months for that.” She tried to reassure them both as she began pacing. “Why don’t we leave today instead? The sun is barely up and now that my plans for training with Arryn are a no-go, my schedule has freed up for the foreseeable future.” She pulled him up by his arms, directing him towards his closet.

“You pack and I will go secure us a carriage. Pick out a few dresses for me, if we are staying until I look like a whale, then I’ll just buy clothes while we are there.” She scurried out the door with a final push and remained there for a while, quietly leaning against the hardwood door as she let the tears silently flow from her eyes.