Private Tales Take up the tainted mantle

[Zana]

Another surprise. Zana had expected him to snatch his hand away when she had touched it; Virak didn't strike her as a house that were touchy feely about their emotions or caring about one another. Then he took the extra step and actually brushed a thumb across her own hand. Maybe... maybe he had just needed someone to show him some affection and that was the reasoning behind his anger and hate. The Academy tried to stifle all such things from their Dreadlords but a lot of them had someone to help keep that shred of humanity. Zana's had been Sloan.

"Liking someone? Yes, that is pretty normal," she squeezed his hand with a smile. "Do you not have... a friend... someone who you actually like?" there was no sarcasm or hint of negativity in her voice. If anything she sounded a little worried he didn't have someone to keep him a little sane amongst all the killing. He was given a chance to think over his answer when the barkeep arrived and she released his hand so that the man could set the plates of food down for them. Including two slices of apple pie.

"I don't know how you knew Miss, but she had just taken it out the oven when I asked!"

"Oh, I just know that smell anywhere," Zana lifted one shoulder in a half shrug before the man took his leave and went back to the bar. She watched him go for a moment, let her eyes drift around the room before returning to Ademar and her food.

 

[Ademar Acero]

Maybe once in his life he liked someone, found a girl in the Academy attractive and harbored some sort of feelings. Emotions that the Academy would beat out of the Apprentices, and they would manipulate them to turn it into a toxic emotion of hatred. A painful memory, he recalled, when Ademar was fond of a girl in his class, but then could recall beating her. He forgot why; maybe because of betrayal set up by the Proctors?

It’s why he was somewhat distanced from others. There were more factors to list down.

He didn’t answer Zana’s question, but was relieved she didn’t reject his small actions. Caused him to dissuade some of his nervousness which he was thankful for. While he didn’t answer, he gave a face that wanted to but was hurt to say anything. He enjoyed the touch her hand before the barkeep arrived with their food. Warm and inviting. Everything looked so appealing, but Ademar’s stomach protested against it. All his emotions made him feel ill which killed somewhat of his appetite.

“Apple pie is your favorite?” A question to move away from Zana’s own, picking up a fork and began to pick at his food before his eyes were on Zana. He found more interest in her than his meal. Even the mug of ale didn’t have much appeal.

 

[Zana]

Zana had just put a forkful of food in her mouth when he asked his question and she gave him a small shake of the head as she finished off her mouthful. She had noted he hadn't answered her question in regards to friends but she decided instead to let it slide. It wasn't exactly a thing that was encouraged amongst the Dreadlords and she had a feeling Virak was probably the least accepting of personal relationships.

"No... Chocolate and raspberry cake is my favourite," she gave him a crooked smile before pushing the food around on her plate a little. "Apple pie is good though. My sweet tooth is my biggest flaw," she gave a dramatic sigh and patted her stomach sympathetically. "I'll just do an extra training session when we get back. Do you like desserts?" her eyes drifted to his plate. It was quite different from what she had been expecting, which was meat with a single carrot there for garnish rather than heapings of veg and only a little meat.

 

[Ademar Acero]

He’d remember her preference for sweets. Why would he want to do that, a part of his mind asked itself. Everything about him felt strange just from Zana’s attitude that was being kind with a bit of sass here and there. He tried to suppress whatever internal conflict he had with his food, taking a forkful of vegetables which he preferred over his small portion of meat.

“I barely eat desserts, it’s discouraged for me to have them,” a lesson imprinted on him since the Academy. For enjoying them he was punished traumatically, leaving a bad taste on him.

He sighed deeply, looking at Zana with a calm look before speaking, “Why are you being nice to me? It doesn’t make sense...”

He wanted to continue saying why he felt emotions towards her, but stopped in his tracks. Felt a bit shy to get that far.

 

[Zana]

Zana's smile faltered a little when he explained how his sweet tooth had been discouraged. She could definitely understand it when it came to his magic and its relation to his strength and peak physical fitness. Hers had been the opposite. Her visions had left her weak and sometimes even in the medic bay for days - or one time even weeks - at a time. The sugary desserts had been the only thing she had been able to keep down during those occasions and they had also brought her back to strength quicker. At least strong enough to have another vision when it was needed. It had been a horrible whiplash of pain and reward.

Her trip down memory lane was stopped short by his question. Her eyebrow raised.

"Because I don't believe being mean to someone makes them work better with you and because I think we've all be treated bad enough in our pasts," her eyes lowered and she chased a carrot around her plate idly. It had been something she had been contemplating for a while now, since she had had this second soul added to her own. It was like her conscious had grown two-fold and now she cared and thought more than she had ever done in the past. "I can be shitty with you again if you prefer," there was a mischievous glint to her eye when she looked up at him again.

 

[Ademar Acero]

That mischievous look in her eye was something he couldn’t describe, but it did cause his cheeks to blush a little and look away for a brief moment before returning his gaze back to her still some blush in his cheeks. “I...I don’t think that suits you and I...like you like this.”

“And I don’t think you’d do a good job being shitty,” he didn’t understand why his heart was racing in a frenzy.

He finally forked at the apple pie, hoping that would help his situation. Ademar really didn’t know what to do. A normal person would flirt back, but he didn’t know anything about that.

“What...what do you like?” a vague question, a question he never asks to anyone.

 

[Zana]

Who would have thought the man who had arrived to meet her at the gate telling her to fuck off and that she was beneath his attentions would be sat opposite her stammering and blushing like a young boy? Zana suppressed a smile as she dug her fork into a little bit of apple pie, pushed it through the dollop of whipped cream, before putting it in her mouth. Her eyes closed briefly as the flavoured rolled across her tongue. God that was good pie.

"Please come and tell the men I train that," her laugh was soft and husky. Zana had a high standard when it came to fighting and she could be a harsh taskmaster to ensure people met that. Her gaze flicked up from her plate to him as he asked her what she liked and a smile danced across her lips. "Well... I like horses and riding, I like to bake, I like my dog... I like to swim," she shrugged a little. "I'm still learning what I like I guess, it's only recently people have really asked me what I ... think about things, what I like doing. I guess it is probably the same with you right? You're younger than me though, you have more time to learn these things for yourself."

 

[Ademar Acero]

He didn't really explored much what he liked. He only enjoyed the thrill of combat and killing. Outside of that? Drinking and training. He didn't own a dog nor bothered with baking. Zana seemed to be more social and extroverted than him. Something he envied a little back in the recess of his mind.

"I like killing," he said and thought if that was an appropriate way to continue his dialogue. Everything she had said was opposite of killing and any cruelty. He only enjoyed it to feel relief and vent out his turmoil of emotions that brewed within him. Whatever else he liked Zana wouldn't be impressed. The lad stopped in his words, trying to think of something else to rebound and have a much more pleasant conversation.

His eyes glanced around and caught sight of a couple a few tables away in the tavern. They weren't peasants, more like bounty hunters or some sort of occupation that involved fighting by judging their apparel. He saw the man hooking his arm around his partner's waist and scooted towards her. Ademar was merely observing, noticing the man plant a quick kiss on the woman's cheek. His eyes looked away and found themselves on Zana again. He did...like her, but this was foreign territory and didn't understand what to do. She belonged to a House that he abhorred and were unofficial enemies to the Viraks, but that somehow didn't influence what he thought of her.

He looked down on his mug of ale, noticed that it wasn't halfway empty. Ademar usually finished the first rounds within a minute or two and went on to order more rounds, but not tonight.

"I think I'm full of myself," and ate a final bite of the apple pie, "the pie was good, I suppose. I uh, think I'm going to go to the room unless there's something else to do."

Something else to do like what? What else was there to do? He only said that to be around Zana more.

 

[Zana]

Zana glanced up when he listened his only like as killing. She said nothing in answer to it, simply watched him as he seemed to think through what he had said to her. Zana had been like that once. Perhaps not to the extent Ademar enjoyed it but she had been a Dreadlord dedicated to the cause and the sword. Then she had made a deal with a man who had ripped the soul from one of his fellows and something had... changed. She had begun to think outside of herself and begun to care. About herself and about others. She had changed. Zana wondered if he would one day have that moment where he was no longer satisfied with the life Vel Anir had set them on all because of their gifts.

Her face fell a little when he berated himself though. Arrogance was a weakness for certainty but to hear the way he said it... it was like he was ashamed of it. She had seen him on the field, both on their journey here and Vel Istra. She could attest to the reasons why he was arrogant. It was just a matter of perception; changing it from something to lord over others to using to help others.

"Sure, if you want," she set the spoon down having finished her own food. "I might go for a walk," her eyes glanced to the door. "I struggle to sleep," she shrugged by way of explanation. It was late and she had confessed she was tired already but she would rather stay awake than suffer the pain of visions.

 

[Ademar Acero]

"A walk sounds good...I'd like that," with a calm, confident tone. The hulking Dreadlord stood up from his chair, immediately towering everyone in the tavern. Even sitting down he was at least two inches taller than everyone. The patrons all made glancing looks at Ademar, probably forgetting how tall he was and admiring his physique. No doubt he resembled to those folklore of some hero able to conquer dangerous, supernatural enemies that can even rival a deity.

The pair of Dreadlords walked past the patrons with Ademar being careful in his steps to not disturb others so invested in their drinks and meals. He could be an arrogant prick to commoners, but not during a meal; unless they warranted something that annoyed him.

Walking out of the doors he looked above to see a dark knight with the only light offered was the moon and the stars, and the lit torches outside of the tavern. Where they are was something like a pit stop. Smaller than village, but still has a population no less than fifty. An ideal location to serve merchants, caravans, and the weary traveler. The trees and other plant life served as the borders along with palisade to defend themselves with small platoon of soldiers.

"Why do you struggle to sleep? Insomia?" he walked at her pace, his head looking down to catch her eyes. His eyes then glanced at her hand, wondering if he should even dare to hold it with his. Afraid and shy he only brushed the back of Zana's hand with his own. Almost accidental.

 

[Zana]

Zana followed after him as he stood and led the way out of the tavern, giving a small smile to the barkeep as they passed him. The night air was cool on her warm skin and for a moment she stopped on the doorstep of the inn and simply took a deep breath. Her arms came up over her head as if she were stretched and then dropped back down to her sides. She loved the night. She loved the way the moonlight chose to only pick out the odd things here and there as if it were a picky lover. She loved the quiet, the smell, the comfort of the soft embrace of darkness. Her step was light and full of energy as she started off on their walk. She never knew where she was going but she had seen a small fishing pond when they had ridden into town and thought that a turn about the waters edge was a good place to start.

"Dreams," Zana sighed softly. She could feel his gaze searching for hers and for a brief moment she gifted him with the full force of her light green eyes that were at such odds with her darker skin. Her lips lifted in a slight smile before the smile and her eyes dropped to her feet. It was an uncomfortable topic. "They are a side effect of my gifts and can be painful, I just try to avoid them as much as I can," then his fingers lightly brushed the back of her hand. Unexpected. Was that intentional? An accident? He had made it clear his feelings for her house though his opinion on her seemed to be changing. She chose to act as though she hadn't even noticed it - the last thing she wanted was to damage the growing peace between them by misreading something.

 

[Ademar Acero]

She seemed more human than him. He rarely appreciated the gifts life offered to their mortal souls, gifts most people took for granted. The only things he did enjoy was the alcohol, food, and the fight. Only reason was that it gave him some peace from other thoughts in his head, although he didn’t know that. There were plenty of things he did not know of, yet was arrogant to know it all.

Maybe that’s why Zana grew on him. Her personality and humanity, all combined with her looks. And not just grow im Ademar, but develop feelings for her. Feelings that were hard to suppress even if he wanted to.

The Dreadlord bit inside of his cheek when Zana didn’t react to his subtle gesture. He really didn’t know how to converse with a woman in such manners. He was direct and straightforward, but even then some part of him told him that wasn’t the way to go. It seemed simple in theory, but in practice it wasn’t. With all his aggression he wasn’t far out gone as he seemed to be.

“What kind of dreams? Have you ever tried drinking alcohol? It helps with going to sleep,” yes, being drunk was the equivalent of dozing off for Ademar. It’s happened before with him getting drunk. “But you might have some puke coming out of your mouth, I don’t know why.”

“Where are we going?”

 

[Zana]

"Ah, drink also affects it quite badly," Zana's cheeks heated. She was an incredible lightweight - Flor had once joked that she could probably get drunk off of the smell of a weak ale let alone anything stronger. She had to say she didn't entirely disagree. She had once snuck in a bottle of wine into the academy when she was still an apprentice and one sip had sent her visions propelling her back into the past. It had led to several awkward heartfelt conversations about past traumas. It was definitely safer for everyone if she stayed away from the stuff. "It's why I carry round the flavourings for water - it can get quite dull when everyone else is drinking and you're stuck on some murky well water," she glanced up at him with a smile. It was quite amusing he didn't seem to entirely understand why alcohol made someone sick but then she supposed given his size and abilities he probably didn't notice how much he was drinking.

"There was a fishing lake in town I thought a few laps and I might be able to get a few hours sleep," she sighed and rubbed at her eyes a little. Zana was tired now in all honesty but she needed exhaustion in order to get dreamless sleep. "So, what's is like in Virak? Do you all go out for drinks when you're off duty and stuff?"

 

[Ademar Acero]

That explained why she drank water at the tavern instead of alcohol. The dreams. He understood, he assumed the dreams were just nightmares of her past. Sometimes that happened to him at some nights, it wasn’t as bad in his younger years. The lad caught her smile, the same signature smile he enjoyed to see. He smiled back at her, although it was a toothless smile.

Zana seemed tired and he could feel some exhaustion, although if needed he could go on for more hours without sleep. But now they had this time to enjoy...a fishing lake. Why did they call it a fishing lake?

“House Virak is...competitive, but that just encourages me to push myself. It’s truly where the strong belong, I can’t tolerate weakness from anyone,” he explained to her, connecting eye contact with her for quick seconds. “You’re strong, stronger than some in Virak,” he blushed a little before answer her next question. “Sometimes though I mostly train and hone my skills,” which explained why his ignorance of normal things.

“And you? What about Luana? I don’t understand why you’re a Third Level, you...you’re more than that,” and yes, more blushing from the hulking Dreadlord. Did her House not value her skills and prowess?

 

[Zana]

Zana liked to train but recently she had been learning the merits of other things too. Baking, riding for the sake of riding, reading, swimming... She was enjoying it. Enjoying life more than she ever had before. All it had taken was to meet a strange mage from the North who had given her another soul to make her see things in a whole new light and make her realise she hadn't been living until now. Merely existing.

"You're kind to say I am strong - considering you told me to fuck off when we first me," she laughed at the memory. Of his stern face. She felt a little guilty now for being so sarcastic to him but it seemed to have worked in drawing out his true self rather than the angry front. She thought on his comment for a while longer, how best to answer it without giving anything away. Zana bit the inside of her cheek.

"Luana are encouraged to do things in the community - to be seen helping people," not that they always did. "It is why I like them as a House. Power doesn't really interest me nor does getting stronger. I know I'm good at what I do and that's enough for me. I want to help people," she put her hands in her pocket. "I guess that might make me weak in your eyes, huh?"

 

[Ademar Acero]

Her comment was meant as a sarcastic joke that would’ve made him laugh, but it only made him feel bad. He forced a “hmph” as a small laugh to disguise his immediate emotions as to not make her feel embarrassed and awful for saying that. “I’m...I’m so-,” always having a hard time in apologizing to others bad mannerisms from the culture of the Academy, a barrier he wished to tackle. “I’m sorry,” he had to say it swiftly without taking in a moment, with a voice somewhat stern. It felt good to be able to get that off of his chest. “I’m sorry for saying those things. I was...wrong.” Ademar hardly admitted his mistakes and took responsibility for them. This was his first time he genuinely corrected himself for something wrong he did.

The lad listened to her words, immediately internally disagreeing with her views.

“You’re not weak,” he said immediately after she finished, his emotions influencing him to make sure she didn’t feel that way. “But fuck the people,” and there he might’ve ruined the mood and atmosphere between them. “We don’t owe them anything. We’re warriors, and we’ve come a long way without their help. Why do they deserve our help?” Ironically his purpose was to safeguard the future of Vel Anir and its subjects, so technically he was doing a service to them. Was that not enough?

“When was the last time some citizen did something nice for you?”

For him? Never had some citizen did anything for him.

 

[Zana]

Zana gently brushed her hand against his arm after he apologised and gave it a slight squeeze.

"Thank you, for apologising. Not many Dreadlords would," another gifted smile before she let her hand slid back into her pocket as they kept walking. It wasn't exactly a big town so it didn't take them much longer to walk down the shallow hill and through the main street to the lake. With the moon high in the sky it turned the fishing pond into a silver penny that rippled every now and then as a fish broke the surface to eat an insect. A gentle breeze blew through the tall reeds that rimmed the edge and rustled the leaves on the lone willow tree which bent like an old crone stooping for water.

Zana hopped from one rock to another as they took a narrow dirt track down to the small footpath that ran around the edge of the lake. The reeds were so tall they brushed against her shoulder. She broke one off and played it through her fingers as she thought on his words.

"The whole reason we have Dreadlords is to look after the people," a frown knitted her brows together. "To keep humans safe from other races. Why wouldn't we help them?" her voice was a mix of disbelief and confusion. If they weren't doing this for the people then who were they doing it for? She couldn't grasp her purpose without it. "As for when the last time a person helped me, I don't know, but -" she held up a hand before he could seize on the fact he was right. "I know the last time a person thanked me for helping them - when you're more powerful it's about using that gift for... good," that she believed wholeheartedly.

 

[Ademar Acero]

The touch of her hand on his arm made him breathe profoundly. A shame her touch wouldn’t be forever; a touch his heart wished he could stop time and enjoy it eternally.

But that would be selfish of him, no?

She thanked him on his apology, separating him from most Dreadlords that probably treated her poorly. He wished not to be like most Dreadlords, but only in terms of strength and power. For mannerisms and behavior? He never really considered that. Ademar had always been arrogant and awful towards others and didn’t change that until this mission. Would this be temporary for being with Zana? Or would this make an imprint on his life?

A night like this was one he never had the chance to come across and appreciate. The full moon showered them and its reflection could be seen from the lake. A white coin with its perfect reflection disturbed when a fish leaped out.

He listened to Zana’s words, she admitting no one had ever done anything nice for her out of the kindness of their heart. Her tone wasn’t certain if her words actually held merit, but at the end it is what she believed in. Maybe it was something they were forced to believe in without knowing it. What did Ademar believe in? Spending time with a Zana made him question his own person, but not his beliefs. She was probably the closest thing that has ever done anything kind for him, not in terms of giving a gift but showing compassion towards him.

Ademar didn’t dare to continue that dialogue, knowing he didn’t have anything reasonable to counter except his own beliefs that were polar opposite. So far he believed his own powers were for his to take advantage of. Why should he help someone that wasn’t important to him.

“It’s nice,” he commented on the scenery, reaching down to pick up some rocks. He slowed down in his steps and threw the first one in the lake which made it skip across the water. And then another one. “You know how to skip rocks, Zana? I can show you, I can throw them across the lake. I think you can as well,” attempting at a compliment about her strength.

 

[Zana]

It was probably a wise thing not to continue that line of conversation; she suspected their opinions varied differently and she was enjoying not having her companion for the mission glowering at her at all times. So she let it slide as he turned instead to the scenery around them and canted her head to the side in curiosity.

"I don't think I've ever tried with just my arm," Zana had seen small children playing the game around the stream and sometimes she enjoyed making one of their stones go a little few hops further than the others to get them excited, but she hadn't tried throwing one herself. Curious, she bent and picked up a flat stone and turned it in her hand. She could see in her mind how the children had done it and attempted to copy it.

The rock flew far that was for certain but it went splashing down into the waves with a heavy plop. Heat coloured her cheeks.

"Too hard?"

 

[Ademar Acero]

“I didn’t get it the first time either,” he chuckled at her attempt, remembering he did a similar mistake when introduced to skipping rocks, “but you do get it around the second or third time. It also depends on the rock you’re using.” He reached down and grabbed two flat stones. One would be for him and the other for Zana.

“Watch you grab it with your thumb and index finger and then flick it as you throw on its flat side. Like this,” he showed her how he was grabbing it stone and then did the motions before throwing it truly.

“I can show you,” and offered the stone to Zana, calmly taking her hand with his own. It was a bit hard to not act nervous and anxious with his actions, his hand shaking a bit and his breath being rapid. He could sweat right now if he could. For something so simple he acted so bizarre.

“I can guide you in the motions if you’d like.”

Perhaps a man, someone normal, would be confident and not ask in advanced. For him it seemed out of place without knowing how she would feel. A sign he still had manners.

 

[Zana]

Zana watched him throw his stone. It bounced an impressive seven times before sinking into the waters and she almost bounced with the excitement of doing the same. What a simple childish pleasure. She took the rock he offered and then let him arrange her fingers on the stone, puzzling over the way his hand shook. Pale green eyes glanced up at him, searching his face for some sign that he was unwell or too tired to complete their walk, before falling to the stone once more.

She attempted to throw it like he had demonstrated and managed one bounce before it went plummeting beneath the waves. The force sent ripples dancing outwards, disturbing the mirror like surface of the pond. She gave a frustrated curse, blowing a stray curl off of her face, and then picked up another rock and held out her hand towards him.

"Please," she was responding to his offer to guide her in the motions. She had been throwing it like one would a spear and she couldn't figure out how this needed to be different.

 

[Ademar Acero]

This throw was much better than the last one as she managed to get one bounce off of it. A sign of progress. Zana’s recent throw did cause her to utter a curse, frustrated that she didn’t get that many bounces off of it. It was something he could understand, though he was worse when not getting things the first or second time. Perfection and pinnacle performance was what he always strived for.

Ademar was, honestly, hoping she would get it the first time because his heart skipped a beat or two when she accepted his offer of giving guidance. He couldn’t decline.

“Oh, uhm...yeah, sure. I can show you,” he said immediately and took the stone from her hand.

“Allow me,” one hand taking Zana’s and the other with the stone, his fingers maneuvering around to make sure she held it correctly in her fingers. “You wanna tilt the stone a bit up before throwing it, and you want to flick your wrist when throwing it,” his hand then gently guiding hers in doing the motions, back and forth. He was a bit breathless to keep this much physical contact with her.

“Third time is the charm, right? You’ll get it this time, I’m betting on it,” and gave a smile towards her.

 

[Zana]

Zana let her limbs go limp so he could manoeuvre them into the right position for throwing the stone, listening carefully to his instructions as he tilted the stone slightly in her hand. A soft hum escaped her lips as it seemed to click in her mind and then she threw it.

This time it hopped a good five times before sinking beneath the water and she gave a small squeal of excitement, reaching down already for the next couple of stones as she became determined to beat her score.

"What's the most number of bounces you've ever done?" She skimmed another one, six hops and then a plop.

 

[Ademar Acero]

“I lost count. Probably more than ten,” skipping rocks was something he’d like to do before. A way to test his strength and form; a way to push his limits. Once he got to an average range with his performance it stopped being anything fun to him. Though Zana enjoying herself with the new skill made him find that lost passion for skipping rocks.

The gift of giving did bring something back to the sender.

She acted like a child discovering something new. Part of him envied her as she knew more than him.

“Maybe you can show me something.” Like what? The only thing he cared about was combat and fighting, never has he ever made interest in doing something new that didn’t require fighting.

The lad twiddled his thumbs, contemplating on what to do or say next around Zana. There were many things he’d like to do, but he repressed himself emotionally. It felt nice to have those emotions, although sometimes he wished to be a void of it. It wasn’t his first time harboring such immediate emotions for someone else, but he remembered it led to betrayal. A traumatic experience for him.

“Zana, you look...” and he stopped in his tracks, indecisive to say the next word. She probably could figure out what it was he was trying to say. A sigh of defeat came from his nostrils; all the strength he had and he couldn’t complete that sentence. Pathetic. “We should head back. Tomorrow we’ll be where we’ll need to be.”

 

[Zana]

She looked...

Tired? That she could believe. She definitely felt it and could sense the shadows under her eyes but she wasn't yet at the point she would sleep if she went to bed. Instead her eyes cast around her for something to gift him with like he had her.

What did she know that she could teach him? Zana briefly touched her hair and thought about teaching him how to braid; that was a skill she was particularly proud of for it was practical as well as fun to do, but it wasn't something he would be able to use. Everything she knew was programmed for war not simple acts of pleasure like this. Except...

"In a moment. Let me show you something. My father... when I was little taught me how to make a whistle out reeds like this," she plucked two of them and then took out a small knife. If wasn't hard to carve five crude holes into the length of it and when she put it between her lips it gave a pleasant little tune. She passed the other reed and blade to Ademar.

"Just make five little holes down the side like so, yes, then that's your whistle! Try it," she blew again on her own, this time covering one of the holes to give it a different note.