Private Tales Read between the lines

[Zana]

Zana made soft complaining noises when she was rolled from her warm spot but she settled quickly against the heat of him, curling up there like a cat in a pool of warm sunshine. His words however made her sigh and after a while longer of his assaulting kisses she finally managed to keep her eyes open for longer than a few seconds. She slid off of him and sat up with a yawn. Her hair was a wild tumble and her eyes were still half stuck shut with sleep so she rubbed at them.

"M'kay, go before you're late," another yawn. "I'll amuse myself," she groped for the chain about her neck and then carefully undid the locks first on one and then on the other manacle. They dropped to the sheets with a muted thump and then Zana rubbed at her wrists as the cool air hit them.

The icy wall came down in a rush that made her hiss as though she had been drenched in cold water. Her fingers flexed and the purple energy flickered over them then vanished when she curled it into a fist.

 

[Talus]

The tingle of that odd energy flickered over his skin, his lips tightening for just a brief moment as he tried not to let out a small almost childish giggle.

"That always tickles." He said softly as his fingers softly dragged over her skin. He offered her another few kisses, before then softly rolling to the side to deposit her back into the bed. He pulled himself up, taking the manacles and gently setting them on the table side.

Within no time he pulled on his uniform and strapped the half-plate to his chest, watching Zana as she sprawled comfortably in the bed.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Talus said as he leaned over her, kissing Zana's forehead. "Enjoy yourself. Don't make a mess."

Talus teased with a smirk.

 

[Zana]

Zana stuck her tongue out before curling back up into her warm spot in the bed in the vain hope that she might be able to get another hour or two of sleep before the visions started again. At least, she had hoped. As soon as Talus opened the front door the large wolf bundled in past, fresh with excitement about having had his first full night outside. There was a muffled shout from inside as the wolf presumably jumped on Zana followed by soft giggles as he proceeded to try and wriggle under the covers with her.

Part of her wondered if he did it because he knew Talus was going away for a few hours.

Despite the cold wet nose and paws she did manage another hour of sleep once Talus left before the visions started again and she pulled herself out of bed to grab a coffee and some food. For the rest of the morning she pulled on her training gear and went for a brisk run through the forests, took a swim in the cold stream to wash, then returned to groom and fuss Zandor. When she was done with all of that she curled up on the porch with her book and Grey's head in her lap.

 

[Talus]

Talus appeared back in the clearing in the waining hours of the day. The sun was creeping low in the sky, though it would still be a few hours before it set. A smile touched his lips as he spotted Zana still sitting on the bench, a sense of joy floating through the bond.

"Hello there." Talus said as he began to ascend the steps of the porch.

The day had gone on longer than he'd expected. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

He told her softly, already beginning to pull at the straps of his armor so that he could strip himself of the heavy mail. If he was going to be home he wanted to be comfortable. Especially when Zana was here. That meant not traipsing around in his armor for more than half the night.

 

[Zana]

"Hey," Zana barely glanced up from the page. From the way she was gripping the edges of the paper back she was clearly at an interesting point and she finished finally as he removed the last bits of his armour. Setting the book aside and wiping away a tear she shifted herself along the bench to allow him some space to sit down. A smile lit up her face as she drew him down.

"It's fine, I've been entertaining myself just fine. I wasn't quite expecting the book to get so sad but it's good. What did Blackforge want? Are you hungry? Thirsty?" she hopped up suddenly, seeming to realise what the time actually was now her nose was out of the book. Grey gave a muffled growl for disturbing him.

 

[Talus]

The thought of food immediately made his mouth water and stomach grumble. He looked down at his tummy as it practically roared in answer to Zana, some color staining his cheeks as he looked at her with a small shrug.

"Food I think..." He reached up and rubbed the back of his head.

All that he'd eaten that day was an apple on his way out the door. Lips thinned for a seconds as he placed a kiss on her cheek, dropping the rest of his armor onto the ground and settling it against the outer wall of the cabin.

"Two things actually." He said with a frown. "First he's going to send some of the Black Guard to me."

Zana would know of the Black Guards. They were an elite force, all of whom wore enchanted armor that made them monsters on the battlefield. There were only a hundred of them, but most were rumored to be almost as good as some Dreadlords. Albeit far less versatile.

"Second. He wants you for a mission." That had been somewhat surprising for Talus, though once he'd explained it made sense.

 

[Zana]

Zana was still in the low slung stretchy training trousers that gathered in at the ankle but were otherwise left and tight vest that she had gone running in earlier. Her feet were bare and they made barely a whisper as she wandered back inside the cabin and listened to Talus as he spoke. The first comment made her frown; teaching the Guard was one thing but the Black Guard? With the armours they wore and proper training they could easily kill a Dreadlord. The thought made her uncomfortable.

But his second comment made her whip round with both brows raised.

"He wants a mission with me?" the surprise melted away into a frown as she opened the oven door. The smell of freshly made pie wafted into the room. Zana had cooked it earlier then put it on a low temperature to keep it warm until he had got home. She took it out and set it on the table along with a couple of plates full of veg.

"Why...?" she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear as she plated up some pie and veg for him and then some for herself.

 

[Talus]

The smell of food nearly brought Talus to his knees. ”How have I ever gotten so lucky as to have you.”

For a second he very nearly forgot to give her the details that she had asked, blinking for a few seconds before he looked up at her.

”He watched you train for a bit.” When they had been at the fort apparently. ”There’s a...situation in the east, the Kingdom of Kislyth.”

Zana would of course know it, though one could hardly call it a ‘Kingdom’. Kislyth was a single city about a third the size of Vel Anir, and two hundred years ago they had been famous for using an entire army of undead for conquering neighboring nations. A coalition of Anirian and Allirian forces had scoured their armies, though it had been a tough fight.

”Apparently there’s rumors a new Arch-Lord has taken over.” He frowned a brief moment at the title, then continued.

”The Houses won’t let the Guard act though.” Blackforge hadn’t given him a reason for that. ”So he plans to go with a small team in three weeks times. Longer than he would like, but also the only way the Houses won't discover.”

He looked up at Zana. ”He figured that it’d be better to have the Dreadlord that can flatten entire armies.”

A small smile touched his lips, and then he hungrily looked at the pie. Like a puppy asking for permission.

 

[Zana]

Zana had slowed to a stop when Talus had begun talking about the mission until she was holding the plate with the serving spoon half way to the plate with a steaming pile of vegetables on it. There was a look on her face that suggested she wasn't looking at the here and now but rather something far from this place and time. After a while she shook her head and, noticing the look on his face, set the plate down in front of him and sat down herself.

"Well, I will go wherever my Commander tells me I'm needed," a ghost of a smile played across her face as she looked up at him through her lashes before returning her attention to the food in front of her. As Talus was that Commanding officer when it came to the Guards she was practically agreeing to it then and there. "It would be interesting to fight alongside Blackforge," Zana added after she had taken a mouthful of food.

Her eyebrow raised in amusement as she watched him devour his food with his usual decorum.

 

[Talus]

"Will you now?" He mused for a few seconds before he dipped his head low and began to eat his food at his usual pace.

Hunger ate at him worse than any plague could have, and it seemed that within seconds of Zana filling his plate every little crumb was gone. Even as he spoke he idly rubbed a finger over the ceramic, licking his finger for some of the sauce.

"We'll have to test that." Talus offered her a smirk. "Blackforge is...a force."

A small frown creased his lips for a moment. "He has a way of doing things. If you go...be careful."

The man had a way of making things...tumble.

 

[Zana]

It was an almost automatic thing to fill his plate up with seconds now. Zana had quickly learnt to make at least four helpings of anything she made now; three for him and one for herself. Not that she minded nor complained about it for that matter. She loved nothing more than caring for him in this way and seeing how it made him feel. Loved. Cherished. Zana wanted him to feel those things always but when she cooked for him she saw it the most.

"I'm always careful," she protested stubbornly despite the faded bruises that still echoed to a few days ago on her face. Her fingers absentmindedly brushed over them. "Most of the time," the ambush had snuck up on her so quickly because her mind had been distracted by memories of torture at the hands of the very same man Ashur had asked her to protect. It was a lesson she would learn from.

"I will be careful," her hand brushed over his where it rested on the table before returning to her meal. "Is it him you're meeting again tomorrow?"

 

[Talus]

His thumb slowly played over the back of her palm as she reached out to him, a smile touching his lips as he ate a tad slower this time.

Talus wasn't worried about Blackforge hurting Zana, the man would protect her with his life. The problem came with circumstances he caused. Kislyth could go up in flames if things went wrong, and Talus did not want Zana in the middle of that.

Not if he could help it. "No he's headed East on that weird owl of his."

Talus said with a slight frown.

"Tomorrow I'll be headed into the city." A breath filled his lungs. "Going to meet with Bellatrill, the forgemaster."

Zana would recognize the name of the Dreadlord. Bella was a fourth level Dreadlord, thought to be as weak as anyone could be but famed for her abilities in enchantment. It was said she could take any Dreadlord's magic and forge it into something else.

 

[Zana]

Zana's lips twitched somewhat at the comment of the owl. They were going to look a very odd pair; Blackforge with his owl, Zana with her wolf that was definitely not an ordinary breed. As he spoke of his plans tomorrow however the thoughts vanished and she felt her curiosity pique. Bella was a talented forger but Talus' sword and armour were of an incredibly high quality and she couldn't quite imagine what it was he would want to talk to her about. Unless..

"You think she would fight," Zana's words were blunter than she intended. Perhaps it was because she was nervous about letting more people - especially Dreadlords - in on their secret rebellion. Or it might have just been the fact he was having to do it without her that upset her somewhat.

 

[Talus]

Talus shook his head. "No...maybe...I don't know."

That was not his intent tomorrow, at least not fully. That was an approach that would have to wait. He would want to ask that question of others when things were further along.

"I'm not going to ask her." He explained, feeling the sudden tension in the bond. He wanted to explain what was happening before she made any assumption. "Not without...seeing how you do it first. Not without us together."

Talus thought that Zana would be far more diplomatic than he could ever be, and after all this was her initiative. "Tomorrow is just asking her if she'd consider making weapons for the Knights."

The Anirian Knights had long since used enchanted weapons, some of the few people outside of Dreadlords who were allowed such a privilege. What few people knew however was the supply of those weapons was...well almost non-existent.

"The Guard doesn't have the same resources as the Houses, and things are...dwindling." He looked up at Zana with a frown.

 

[Zana]

Zana chased a slice of carrot around on her plate as he spoke. His explanation did little to ease her tension for although he was not asking Bella to join their ranks, he was still asking her to take part in a way. Weapons like that were most effective against other magic users and from their meeting the day before it seemed likely many of those weapons would be used against Dreadlords one day. Zana was still wrestling with the whole idea of it. There had been plenty of moments where she had debated telling Talus she was out, that she couldn't do this any longer.

"Luana would give you money if your Generals stopped being so stubborn about it," she frowned and looked up at him. Ashur had offered more than just one of his best Dreadlords when he had extended an olive branch. He was keen to throw money at them at an alarm rate should they have need of it.

 

[Talus]

"Money means influence." Talus did not really want to have this discussion, but he knew sooner or later it would have to happen.

Zana knew everything he was going to say, knew to her core why it was like this. The woman he loved was not stupid, far from it. She was smarter than he was in almost every way, but Luana had gotten to her before he ever had.

"It's something they can hold over our head." Before Zana could say something in rebuke Talus spoke up. "Virak offers us money. Sirl. Even Weiroon."

He had been present at that last meeting. It had been surprisingly...gross. The Lord of House Weiroon had hit on Ilyana multiple times. It had been like watching someone be lecherous with your own mother. "Do you really think it's done out of the goodness of their heart?"

Talus challenged, putting down his fork.

 

[Zana]

Zana's cheeks were flushed with anger.

"Luana are nothing like them," he had listed some of the worst houses and lumped her own in with them. Sure, Luana might not have been perfect but Elise Virak had destroyed a whole city and gone without punishment. Weiroon were proud about their corruption and seemed to wear it on their sleeve and Sirl - whilst not the worst he had listed - were still far more opportunistic than her House.

"They want the people to like them - the Guard are the people. It's not like they are going to demand oaths of loyalty like Virak. What's wrong with accepting their money?" so it might win Luana popularity but was that really a bad thing? Zana couldn't see the negatives to it.

 

[Talus]

Talus kept his voice even, level. "Zana..."

His jaw set for a moment as he considered how to say it. He had never really been good with words, and try as he might things sometimes just...didn't come out the way that he wanted them to. A breath filled his lungs and he closed his eyes.

"It's all..." He breathed. "It's all the same shit."

This would not end well. "Virak. Urahil. Hell even Pirian."

The 'Good' House. The one that cared for the people.

"And yes, Luana." His eyes opened and he looked at her, fighting hard to keep himself calm and his tone level. "They're all the same. They pretend. They give alms to the poor. They say they lift us up."

Lips thinned. "But they'll still put you in a box."

Fingers tightened on the table.

"They'll still send broken slaves to kill me in the night. They'll still try to put a collar around the kids in the Academy." His voice caught for a second, eyes closing as he continued. "They want people to like them so they can stay in power. So they don't wake up."

His eyes opened, meeting hers. "It's all the same shit. They're up there. We're down here, and none of them want that to change."

Talus bit his lip. "You know that."

 

[Zana]

Zana's ears were ringing with a white static noise as her anger and hurt rose into a painful symphony. She didn't agree with him. Couldn't agree with him. Luana had done more for her than she could ever express to him and though he didn't understand why she went willingly into that torture chamber, it didn't lessen Zana's conviction it was for her own good. Before them her visions had been a mess and left her weak and tired for days. They had helped her hone them, lessen the discomfort of those she couldn't control and call up visions when they were needed. She had saved lives. She had helped Luana save lives.

"It's not the same. They want power, yes, but everyone does - the Guard do, you do, I do," her jaw clenched. "You just think if the Guard or 'the people' have the power they'll do things differently. But what if they don't? You heard them in there they would kill every Dreadlord if it meant their freedom. Is that fair? Is that right?"

It was why she had taken it off the table and shouldered it herself. It wasn't right for them to put Dreadlords down like bad dogs, they wouldn't understand it. They would understand betrayal though and at least she could send them to a more peaceful plain of existence without them feeling lost, confused and afraid. She could give them their honour in their last few moments of life.

"Luana want to give the Guard money, money that they could use and need and all they want from it is a good bit of publicity. Why is that wrong?"

 

[Talus]

Talus took in a deep breath. His fingers tightened on the table top into fists, lips thinning for a few moments as he closed his eyes and played his words over and over again in her head.

It was like she hadn't heard a single thing he'd said.

He knew why it was. He knew why she couldn't hear him. Talus wanted to be angry, he wanted to let it tinge his voice and radiate through him like he felt from her. Yet he remembered his own resolve. He remembered the words that he had taken upon himself.

What he had told himself he would do.

Shoulder more of the burden.

Without a single word Talus pushed his chair back, standing with a sudden snap. Zana would feel nothing through the bond. Not a hint of intent, not a single bit of what he was about to do. Then he took three simple steps, three quick steps.

His arms wrapped around her, one hand slowly folding into her hair while the other pulled her body towards himself. His breath left him, and then she would feel a tidal wave of love flow through the bond. "I understand why you feel the way you do."

Talus said softly, still fighting the urge to go against her point.

"I do not agree with it, and I won't." He said simply. "But I understand why you feel that way."

It was the only thing he could offer her in that moment, his thumb slowly dragging over her skin. "I love you, I trust you, and I hope you feel the same for me."

Slowly he squatted down so that he was eye level with her, his arms still half enveloping her body.

"I know this is something that we'll have to talk about. I know it won't go away." His knuckles brushed softly over her cheek. "But not tonight. Not when everything else is so hard. Not when we only have a week."

There was a hopeful pause. "Okay?"

 

[Zana]

Anger gave way to frustration as he wrapped his arm around her and slid fingers through her hair because whilst he said he could understand, Zana couldn't. She didn't. Not a single word.

Zana would have preferred his anger to ... to this.

It made her feel like a child or a broken animal. Like he had the magical secret on how to start fire whilst she sat cold and hungry in the rain. Her eyes briefly squeezed shut as he pulled her into his chest but when he crouched down in front of her she turned her face away and studied the wall instead. She wanted to give him what he asked. Of course she loved him and trusted him, he would feel that unquestionably through the bond the moment he even said it, but...

But it was hard to reconcile her love for her House with her love for him. It felt like the two would forever be at war with one another and Zana's heart at the battleground.

"Okay," despite her words her tone was flat. Resigned. "I'm not really hungry, I'm going to just go for a walk," Zana pushed her own chair back and stood up, breaking out of his hold.

 

[Talus]

Talus let out a sigh, fingers tightening for a few moments as she slipped from his hands.

He wanted to scream, rage, smash his own table into tiny little bits. He couldn't keep the flicker of those emotions from the bond, he couldn't keep a small trace of it from falling towards her. Talus was only human. Despite everything they had done to him, despite all the years of torture.

Seeing Zana this way, seeing the pain and understanding where it came from made him angry. He knew to his core that she loved him, yet he also knew that other side of her, the side that they had taken and twisted beyond herself.

It was almost like she had no choice, like she couldn't grasp it.

To him his words had made complete sense, his argument had been well defined and anyone else in the world might have seen his point. For Zana they had simply been wrong.

He wanted to be the bigger person. He wanted to offer understanding, to accept her as she slowly came around, but it was hard. Harder still as she turned around and began to walk away, harder even as she passed through the doorway.

"Why." Talus said it almost meekly, the word so quiet that Zana might miss it. "I can understand Sloan. I can understand her, but...why."

The words were a whisper, breaking as he spoke. "They put you in a box."

Her, the woman he loved with all his heart. The one who unbeknownst to them, was already carrying his child.

 

[Zana]

Zana felt more than heard the first question. It made her stop at the doorway, fingers coming up to grasp at it as if he had delivered her a lash across the back. She should have let it go, he should have let her go. They could have continued their pleasant evening and not instead felt like this. For his emotions seemed to mirror her own. It felt like they were on opposite sides of a lake with the boat drifting somewhere in the middle and neither quite knowing how to reach the other. To make them see. To understand.

"Because it helped me," she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I couldn't control them at all when I was little. I knew nothing. The pain worked and focused things. It made it easier. And they help people - Luana help people. I've seen it," the famines they had adverted, the droughts that they had been able to mitigate against. Because of her. Because of Luana.

She looked at him with an uncomprehending look.

"They're not monsters, Talus. None of us are monsters. Why wouldn't I love a House that pulled me up from... from nothing? They've given me a home, a life, a purpose. Luana was all I had for twenty years before I met you."

 

[Talus]

Talus stared at her for a few moments, lips thinning, fingers tightening into fists.

Her words echoed in his ears.

He'd never really thought about the Houses...the nobility as anything besides monsters. They, along with the Proctors, were the boogeymen that were to be feared and hated. None of them were good, none of them wanted to help. None of them were genuine.

Zana's words though, the conviction she spoke them with made him hesitate. Was she right or was it her programming? Was it the indoctrination she had gone through or had his own prejudices overtaken him just as it had the Generals.

He remembered Ilyana's words, about how all of them were to die originally, and then he thought of the Houses.

There were thousands of nobles, more than just the Seven that ruled, more than just a few hundred. Were they all bad?

Talus' lips thinned, and he felt doubt creep into his soul.

He would never once, not for a second, believe that putting Zana in a box had been a good thing. He would never think that causing her any amount of hurt was right. Whoever had made that choice would pay for that. Whoever had put her in that box would have to die.

But could he really kill them all for it?

Like a child Talus sat himself down in the middle of the room. His heart was racing, his head hurt, and he couldn't stand anymore. His legs simply gave up, and he lowered himself onto the ground with his legs half splayed.

Not a single noble had never offered him a kind word. Had ever offered him a smidge of help or even an ounce of praise. Yet here was the love of his life, defending them so ardently. Even if she was trained, even if they had a grip on her. A part of her had to be right. When was slaughtering a whole group of people ever the right decision?

"I can help you." The words were childish, petulant, and didn't help the argument in the least. Talus hadn't been there when she was young, hadn't been there to help, and only last night had he even discovered that he could touch her magic at all.

But it was the core of all this, wasn't it?

The truth of it all was that he didn't care about the Houses. He didn't care about the Guard, about Vel Anir. Not when she was put on the scale besides them. Not when the future he had seen was put before his eyes.

Compared to that, compared to their family...everything else could burn to the ground and he wouldn't blink. "I just..."

He took a breath.

"I just want us to be free." Who was he talking about? Vel Anir? The People? Dreadlords? No. "I know you're right in a way. I know that they're not all bad. I know that they're not all monsters."

Talus admitted quietly. "I know they all just want power. I know some would use it in the same way the Houses do."

He was speaking of the Guard now, echoing her point.

"But I don't." His arms crossed over his knees. "I just want to be free. I want to be free to see my daughter to grow up. I want to be free to grow old with you. I want to be free to have you bury me in the mountains and not in a mass grave."

His fingers tightened and his chest rose and fell a bit faster as he remembered the vision. "I want to be free with you, and they...they don't want that. None of them do."

He looked up at her.

Strangely enough, sitting there on the floor looking up at her, Talus did not feel weak.

"The Houses. The Guard. The People...Luana. All of them are a roadblock. All of them stand in our way." The Guard was his way to freedom in his mind. The only way. The Houses interfered with that, Luana...Luana with the thing he wanted even more; Zana. "So I hate them. I hate them because of what they did to you, because of what they're still doing to you. I hate them because it's easy, because it's unfair and I don't know what else to do."

He frowned for a brief moment. "You can love them. You can stand by them, and I even understand it...I think, but at the end of the day to me..."

Talus wrung his hands together. "They're just another reason we can't have her yet."

Their Daughter. What he was really fighting for now.

 

[Zana]

In two quick steps she was stood in front of him. Her knees hit the floor with a solid thump and she crawled onto his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled him close. Zana buried her face in the crook of his neck and simply breathed him in for a moment.

The bond was a great gift but in times like this she couldn't help but think that it was a little bit of a curse too. It was hard enough trying to figure out her own emotions let alone Talus' too. She knew... she knew deep down that what he said made sense but the rest of her mind couldn't turn itself around it properly. It just kept coming back to the fact she loved them. At least... as much as she had understood love before Talus.

"I want that too," she said in reference to the future that he spoke of. Perhaps not burying him under the mountainside but Zana had seen him die so many different ways she wouldn't dither over that part for now. "But... I can't... I don't know how or if I want to stop caring about them," her voice was weak. She couldn't even move from her position to look him in the eyes as she spoke. "They're all I've known for my whole life Talus. They raised me. I know... I know you don't understand or like what they've done to me but... but that's just life for me. It's as much as a chore as any other training is. It also doesn't negate all the good they've done for me. Can you imagine what another House would have done with my gifts?" her arms tightened slightly around him. Genuine fear crept through the bond. It was perhaps the first time she had ever felt that way whilst the bond had been in place and it was an icy cold feeling that travelled down to him. Not many things scared Zana but the thought of Virak getting a hold of her, or Weiroon or Urahil... Her whole body shook.

"That future," she pulled back the barest of inches so she could see his eyes as she spoke. One hand came up to cup his cheek. "That future is why I am betraying them Talus. I just... I just need you to be a little gentler with me when it comes to them. Every second I'm teaching those Guards... I can't help but think if they're going to be one of the people who kill one of my family and it's... it's hard. But I know it needs to happen. For you," tears clogged in her throat and choked her words. "For a better Vel'Anir. It just... doesn't make it any less painful."