Fable - Ask Monsters In A Cage

[Matias Vaquero]

"This is fucking awful." Mattias corrected Felice almost as soon as she said 'it could have been worse'.

The weight of his transformed body was entirely too much. Mattias had thought he'd felt heavy as a Frost Giant, but now it were as though he were carrying yet another human being on his...well not shoulders, more like gut.

Was this how Uncle Ridune had felt?

He'd been almost as large as the transformed version of Matias, but at least that man had the pleasure of eating a thousand meals to get into this state. "Kress end me."

Mattias said, rubbing at his face and finding that it felt foreign and strange. His head shook and with another curse he began to stalk forward.

"Let's get this over with!" He bellowed, probably a bit too loudly.

 

[Harlowe]

Harlowe's grumbling was akin to a rockslide as she hurried on little legs to keep up with the waddling Matias and the long strides of Felice. She had often thought what it might be like to be another of the hellspawn monsters that made up the regiment but she had never contemplated something so small. It was pointless!

"HEY! Watch it!" she shouted as a passer-by nearly trampled her underfoot. The man - who had been paying more attention to the sticky-fingered child sitting on his shoulders - practically jumped out of his skin.

"O-oh sorry..." he stuttered but the few seconds it had taken to pause and yell had nearly left her a yard behind the others and she sprinted to catch up, beard blowing behind her. Eventually they got to the bank. They got a curious glance from the guard but that was it as they walked in.

Without a plan.

"Pretend you want to open an account or something..." she murmured to Matias.

 

[Felice]

The walk to the bank was interesting. Felice was accustomed to the occasional lingering eye or stare but she found that multiple people were gawking at her in an entirely different way. Like they were afraid of her, intimidated by her. Maybe being a big brawny orc had a few benefits?

She was obviously faster than her two friends, made evident by how often she had to slow her pace so they could keep up. That in itself was a fun game as well though as it allowed her to part the crowd before them with her gigantic arms and scary face.

Once they reached the bank she felt the need to chime in as well, "yeah, we're like, totally you're bodyguards."

A large orcish eye glanced down at Harlowe and Felice rubbed at her scalp. "Ok, I'm your bodyguard and Harlowe is your um..." what were dwarves good at? Making tea? They were just so small and everything else was well out of reach for those grubby little limbs.

"She's your financial advisor."

That sounded really good. Almost like it'd be a real thing. Mattias was a very progressive noble who hired a hulking orc as a bodyguard and a diminutive dwarf as his financial advisor. Surely no one would be even the least bit suspicious.

 

[Matias Vaquero]

Mattias tried not to laugh, or cry, as both Harlowe and Felice whispered in his ears. A part of him couldn’t help but wonder if a ROBBERY should have been planned out more, if maybe they should have spent a week figuring out something with a bit more detail…

But they didn’t have a week.

They barely had a day. This really was the best that they could do, no matter how fucking stupid that might seem. ”Fine fine. Stay behind me and look…I dont know.”

The newly rotund Mattias said as he cleared his impossible girthed throat and began to stride forward. He did his best to pull his shoulders back and present himself as a man who thought people owed him something.

He tried to copy the way his Uncle had walked. The Duke had always had a certain air about him. As the group came closer to one of the desks Mattias began to call out. His voice boomed, blubbering through the hall and catching the attention of anyone within thirty feet as he practically shouted.

”Excuse me! Excuse me!” He called. ”I have been standing here for FIFTEEN MINUTES and no one has aided me what so ever!”

The Frost Giant shouted. ”Does this bank not want my OODLES of money?! Is that it?!”

He called out, incredulously.

 

[Harlowe]

Harlowe pulled her beard up to cover her small, reddening and embarrassed face.

Very quickly a tall, lanky fellow with a beak-like nose practically glided across the floor towards Mattias and his little gang. He had the kind of oily smile that made you want to have a hot shower and he cast watery eyes over them all in a clearly judgement way. Harlowe could almost imagine the questions beginning with, how quickly can I make you go away so you get that thing out of my bank?

"I am dreadfully sorry Sir, is it an account you're looking to open today? Right this way Sir, right this way. Can I fetch you and your... men anything? Tea?"

 

[Felice]

Felice did precisely as Mattias asked. She stayed behind him and looked clueless.

While flexing her biceps.

These things were so cool, it made her feel like she was really cool. Like everyone in the bank was staring at her and thinking, "I wish I looked like that very muscular orc." Hopefully harionago's could increase their muscle mass because, wow, after this was all settled she was absolutely going to start a weight-lifting regiment.

"Oh my, tea sounds lovely," Felice said before catching her mistake and adding, "I mean, no, sorry bro, whatever the boss wants."

"Right. Well as I stated, it'll be right this way and I'll have Cordelia grab your men a few cups of tea."

The lanky gentleman whisked the trio into a maze of hallways, presumably towards one of the multitudes of vaults present in the bank. He didn't even bother to ask Harlowe or Felice how they preferred their tea, though.

 

[Matias Vaquero]

"AN ACCOUNT?!" Mattias asked incredulously.

It turned out that being a blowhard was actually very easy when it came down to it. He just did his best to do everything that he absolutely hated seeing when in a public place.

So he took in a deep breath, the gut around his waist choking him as he continued to shout. "What do I look like?! Some kind of Pauper come here to throw up some pennies?"

He ignored the exchange about tea entirely.

"I am a WEALTHY man good sir, and I need a Vault. A PROPER VAULT!" Mattias continued to shout, now having nearly everyone in the bank looking. "Or are you saying you're not up to the task!? Is one of the other august instituations in this lovely city up to the task instead?'

Mattias took in a loud gurgling breath. "Must be. Must be. I don't even SEE a vault in here!"

The great bulk of a man spat.

 

[Harlowe]

Harlowe wondered if dwarves were able to dig with their bare hands. Like some kind of living, breathing chisel. If they could then she might be able to literally burrow her way a hole into the earth and escape this nightmarish, humiliating, anxiety-inducing ordeal. She was so very glad, suddenly, that she were only 4ft tall for nobody really looked in her direction. Partly owing to the fact Mattia's outstandingly large stomach obscured her half from view.

"R-right this way my Lord, I must assure you we have the very best vaults, and the best security there is in this city. This bank has never once been robbed, your money will be in great hands I assure you," the tall weasel of a man ushered them - with a struggle - into a small chamber which when a lever was pulled lowered them down into the depths.

"Your astute fellow here will no doubt be able to confirm how good these tunnels are - dug by our very own local dwarves. Perhaps you know him, a Mr Stampfor?"

"Are ye sayin' all dwarves know each other?!" she snapped.

 

[Felice]

This was going so well. If something ever happened to the Regiment the trio should definitely get into running scams as they were clearly naturals at it.

"N-no, I'm sorry, I didn't intend to offend I just was making conversa-," the bank employee was immediately cut off by the gruff orcish voice of Felice.

"We don't take kindly to stereotypes," Felice crossed her massive arms and let loose a huff of frustration. "So unprofessional."

At this point the banking official's face had gone a beet-red color and through a series of stammers he finally collected his jaw up off the floor long enough to string together a reply. "One thousand apologies good sir, I did not mean to offend you or your compatriots. Our vaults are just up ahead though and I can assure you that there is no finer place in Arethil to store your valuables."

He turned towards Mattias just as they were outside a large steel door with a half dozen different knobs and wheels that Felice guessed served as a locking mechanism.

"This is our main vault," he began, "we only store our finest, most valuable, possessions here. Never once has so much as a clump of dust been stolen from our fine bank."

 

[Matias Vaquero]

As the Bank manager looked back towards the transformed trio for some sign of approval all of them simply stared. He glanced back towards the door, and then coughed slightly as he began to work through the dozen or so mechanisms.

“You see the door was designed by the finest artisans, secure. The combination is changed daily and only I and two others know it.”

As he spoke a multitude of clicks resounded, echoing out as the door began to pull open. Ancient hinges began to groan as he tugged at the vault door. Beyond lay dozens of lockboxes, all of them recessed into the walls. Some could be seen beyond, glittering gold and gems, documents of paper and other valuables.

The Manager opened the door, leaving only a set of steel bars in the way. He smiled and began to speak.

“Of course I can’t let you inside the vault without a deposit bu-“

”That won’t be necessary.” Matias said as they stepped forward. The Banker frowned in confusion, half moving to turn towards him before the Frost Giant reached out and grabbed his head. With a sudden and sickening wrench he twisted the man’s head to the side, a crack echoing out in the vault as the banker crumpled to the floor like a ragdoll

”Fucking finally.” The Jotunn said as he stepped over the newly made corpse, hands wrapping around the bars. ”Felice, eat him.”

Matias said as he reached out and grabbed the steel bars. There was a jolt, and suddenly the air temperature dropped. Before long the metal began to groan slightly, and then suddenly it snapped as the Frost Giant tore it free. ”Lets get the gold and get out of here.”

 

[Harlowe]

Harlowe hadn't even wondered if her powers might still be available to her as a dwarf. Out of curiosity she picked up some of the broken metal and bent it with ease into the shape of a pretzel. How curious. The thought of her going into a blood rage whilst looking like this was a humorous thought though; what would she do, drain their ankles?

Tottering after Mattias as quickly as her legs would allow her to she hurried into the room and began pulling lock boxes out of their positions on the wall - at least, those she could reach.

"How much money do we need again? Shit, did someone bring a bag?" She had had a bag but it was now bigger than her.

 

[Felice]

Eat him? Wow. This was one of the kindest gestures that Mattias had ever offered.

She saw Mattias' freezing abilities go to work and Harlowe's strength was demonstrated as she bent the metal from the vault. With minimal effort Felice flexed the same familiar muscles she'd been using since her first death and the dreads atop her orcish head began to move like serpents. The curled around the limp body of the banker before her jaw unhinged and she began to consume him.

"Thanks. I actually was getting kind of hungry." Her confession was ended by a loud raucous burp as strands of dreaded hair began to warp around towards the various lockboxes and priceless heirlooms within the vault.

They wrapped around and grabbed hold of them all the tall, muscular, orc began to look more like a Christmas tree with a dozen limbs grasping at shiny objects.

This was actually going to work. They were really going to pull this heist off without a hitch.

And then, turning the corner and into the vault, appeared a young intern. With a face as innocent as a lamb he was clearly a mixed breed. If Felice had to guess some kind of half-human and half-kivren hybrid that was almost baffling to behold. He was one of the most beautiful people she'd ever seen in her life and he couldn't have been more than eighteen or nineteen years of age. Likely just here to learn the trade. "I've brought the tea you requested, I wasn't sure what kind so I-" his words died on his tongue.

His mouth gaped open as he saw the three bandits with plunder weighing them down. He was frozen in place and Felice felt a sinking feeling in her gut.

 

[Matias Vaquero]

WHY.

WHY COULDN'T ANYTHING EVER BE EASY.

The question screamed through Mattias head as he heard the sound of the boy's tongue. His fat head tipping up towards the sky as though some sort of god might offer him solace in that moment.

No prayer was answered of course, and just as the boy turned to flee the Frost Giant raised his palm. The air seemed to chill, frost forming on the cool marble walls. Then suddenly a scream echoed out as the boys entire body began to freeze solid. His vocal cords stilling as they turned to naught but ice. "FUCK!"

Mattias swore.

"Someone will have heard that." The Jotunn said as he rushed into the vault and began to grab anything, and everything, he possibly could. "Grab everything, and then...shit."

Fuck it. "We kill everyone."

No witnesses meant no one talking. Right?

 

[Harlowe]

"We can't kill everyone, it'll take too much time," Harlowe rebuked in her gravelly voice, stroking the long locks of her beard as she thought through their options. If Mattias hadn't acted so quickly she might have been able to reach the boy and dispose of him in a more quiet fashion. But they were where they were. In the shit end. As usual.

Gods the beard stroking was very calming though.

"Let's go out the back, there's tunnels that go right under the city he said. It can't be that hard to find out way out somewhere else far from here."

 

[Felice]

Oh, what a shame, that poor kid really was a looker.

"T-tunnels?" Her large orcish body trembled slightly at that thought. "With like, bats and darkness and mazes?"

Felice didn't like any of those things. The idea of being trapped under the tunnels of this ancient bank was a terrifying prospect. She'd probably wither away slowly and she'd have to sleep with bats flying around doing whatever it was that bats did.

"Dwarf is right though," she finally said after swallowing the lump in her throat. They couldn't use real names, it was too dangerous. And as much as Felice hated to admit it the option to simply kill everyone and walk out the front door wouldn't work. It'd take much longer than an hour.

It didn't matter if there were witnesses though, they'd be out of these bodies and she didn't much care if the bank's assassins pursued a fat noble, a dwarf, and an orc.

 

[Matias Vaquero]

Mattias half stopped holding a large golden statue of a shapely woman, his head turning at Felice. "Bats?"

The Frost Giant echoed.

"You just ate a man and you're worried about bats?" Mattias repeated, not entirely sure if he was understanding things correctly. He let out a long sigh, but nodded his agreement with Harlowe's plan. It would probably be less messy than murdering everyone in the area.

Tossing the statuette into one of the bags they had brought, he picked up another handful of coins and what appeared to be some diamonds. All of it was quickly loaded, and then slung over his shoulder with a clatter which indicated more weight than several goats put together.

"Let's just go." The Jotunn complained. "I hate this city."

 

[Harlowe]

If she had been her natural height Harlowe would have been able to carry a lot more. But despite her vertical challenges she stuffed as much in the way of gems and jewellery as she could into her many pockets. The result was that every time she walked she sounded like a money box being thrown down a flight of stairs. There wouldn't be much in the way of stealth until the potion wore off but then again... they had a Felice. Felice was never stealthy no matter what form she took.

Following what she assumed was dwarven intuition she set off down the tunnels in a seemingly random direction.

"I hate these dratted short legs!" she muttered, arms pumping, as she tried to propel herself quickly down the hallway.

 

[Felice]

Felice grabbed as many of the sacks of gold and trinkets she could muster, even using her black dreads to grab at as much as she could reliably carry. "Bats are creepy," she grunted in a boisterous tone. "Like rats but they fly and they sleep upside down."

Terrible, terrible, creatures.

They rushed down the hallway, towards the tunnels that ran underneath the banks while Felice silently hoped the tunnels were shorter than she imagined them to be. To Harlowe's complaint an orcish eyebrow was raised. "Do you want me to carry you?"

 

[Matias Vaquero]

”You’re ridiculous.” The Jotunn disguised as an overly pudgy human man said with a shake of his head. The hairs of his mustache seeming to bristle for a moment before they all set off.

The misfit trio rushed down the halls, trundling left and right until finally Harlowe found the entrance ways to the tunnels.

A heavy marble doorway stood in their way, it’s outside decorated with two ravens facing one another. As they came upon it Matias frowned ever so slightly, finding something vaguely familiar within the image. His head shook and he motioned for the Vampire to move to the side with him.

”One…two…three.” The Frost Giant said, strain entering his voice as they pushed the massive stone doorway to the side.

Almost as soon as the stone shoved to the side, dozens of bright red eyes turned their way. All of them hanging just a few inches from the ceiling. None of them moving, but simply staring at the trio now standing at the entrance of the dark Tunnels. “Huh, guess there are bats.”

Mattias said calmly.

 

[Harlowe]

Harlowe shot Felice a look of pure outrage. This was far different to her picking them up to get them out of danger, she would not sit on the orcs shoulders like a... like a child!

"No, thank you," she grumbled in a voice that sounded like a rockslide, glad that it disguised her irritation. Felice meant well, Harlowe knew that, she was just... special. When Matias called for help she shrugged and lent her strength to pushing open the large marble door.

"I hate bats," she muttered when rows of red beady eyes looked their way. Not because she was afraid of them of course, there was little to be scared of when you were a vampire aside from the light of the sun, but ever since her transformation the blasted things had taken a peculiar like to her. She had a hard time getting rid of them whenever they found her.

Sure enough, even in her disguise, it was only a second before one landed on her shoulder.

 

[Felice]

Felice stood by, balance bags of gold in both of her hands and carrying far heavier valuable objects with her orcish hair. Tip-toeing back-and-forth as the door creaked open only to reveal rows and rows of what appeared to be thousands of beady little eyes.

Bat eyes.

Then one of the foul things actually landed on Harlowe's shoulder. Another took flight moving from one hanging stalactite to another.

"I think, um, I think maybe I'll try the front door and uh, we can meet up," there was simply no way Felice was going to descend that staircase. No chance she was going to brave a cavern filled with fucking bats. They'd be lucky if they even survived a cave full of bats, the creatures were carriers of all sorts of vile diseases.

There was definitely a good chance that one of those diseases effected monsters. Definitely, one-hundred percent chance.

But as Felice's knees wobbled in fear she attempted to take a step back, only for her leg to give out and fly forward. In an instant the large orcish figure was sliding feet first down the narrow staircase and into the abyss. All while screaming out obscenities in her newfound boisterous orc voice.

 

[Matias Vaquero]

"Well that solves that problem." Mattias noted as Felice's knee suddenly buckled and she went sliding down the narrow staircase.

The obscenities and curses she shouted echoed out, launching into the hallway and likely reaching as far back as the vault. By now it was obvious that any semblance of stealth was out the way. Most of the city probably knew something was going on. "After you."

He motioned to Harlowe.

Waiting for the Vampire to take a step into the staircase before he shifted his own weight and shot a slight sliver of ice over the ground.

As soon as the slight sheen had taken hold upon the marbled floor he reached up. Fingers grasped the heavy marble, and with a tug that would have torn a regular man in half pulled the door to the runnels back into place.

Casting them into darkness with only the sounds of Felice's screams for company.

Oh, and bat wings.

 

[Harlowe]

Due to her short nature Harlowe didn't so much as walk down the stairs, rather that she hopped down each one puffing and panting with the effort it took to hurl her little body downwards. After the initial trip over her long white beard she had to pause to wind it about her neck like a scarf before continuing which made her sweat something fierce. She wondered how much of their hour they had left for she so desperately missed her long legs.

"Get off, fucking things," Harlowe muttered, swatting as two more of the bats tried to land on her shoulders and one on her head. "I'm not one of you!" she shouted causing all five bats perched on her to scatter, shrieking, then settled back down upon her shoulders.

Harlowe gave a defeated sigh.

"This way, I can smell the air."

 

[Felice]

The string of profanity continued until Felice finally managed to slow her gargantuan orcish frame. Or, the end of the staircase abruptly stopped her frenzied descent into the caverns of the bank they'd just robbed.

She stood and rubbed at her rump with a groan. Maybe once the effects of the concoction wore off she wouldn't feel any of the pain she did now? That'd be great because otherwise Felice was going to wake up in the morning with basically every muscle in her body feeling sore.

"What in the holy name," she rubbed a green wrist against her eye lids to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

At the base of the staircase wasn't a singular path but instead there were five paths. With strange writing, she assumed dwarvish, written above each hallway. "So, uh, Harlowe, can you read any of this?"

She was pretty sure the answer was no but it was worth a shot.

 

[Matias Vaquero]

Matias followed along behind Harlowe, his own eyes about as useless as could be. The Darkness was no friend to Frost Giants, and in that moment he wished for a torch or even a candle. Each step was more careful than the last, and he had to rely on the voices of his companions to find his way.

Eventually his foot came down onto solid floor, and a bare soft glow illuminate the fork in the road ahead of them.

A frown touched the Frost Giant's face, lips thinning as he slowly spun around to look at each of the five doors in turn. Eyes then flickered up towards the symbols, his eyes narrowing as he tried to make out the odd runic symbols.

Turning to Felice, a wide grin touching his lips. "Yeah, Harlowe."

Matias snickered.

"Can you?" He very much doubted that the potions also granted ones ability to speak languages.