Completed Licking Love Off of Knives

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“You think I’m bossy, don’t you?” Everleigh said with a grin, coming to Erland’s side and linking her arm with his once he had finished dressing. She didn’t say anything about him dressing warmer. He was older than her.

Besides, men always seemed to run warmer than women.

The dreadlord looked up at Erland, imploring him to answer her double-edged question. Regardless of his answer, she’d prompt him silently to start leading them to the garden. She wanted that fresh air, hoping the chill could put calm her head.

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

The garden was well looked after. The dense plant life was there not because the owner was a keen gardener. A long look would reveal deliberate lines that sectioned off the small space into private areas.

The reason for that was made clear by the soft sounds coming from the veranda to their right. Erland turned left, towards a small bench next to a trellis.

"You may be bossy, if you want," he replied. His smile matched his deliberate evasion of the question.

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Ah. So that was why they could head out to the garden without Erland rejecting the idea outright. It was used for reasons that could only be found in a brothel. Everleigh followed after Erland, sitting down beside him on the bench.

There was a good amount of space between them. Everleigh had her hands in her lap and she was staring up at the night sky. The moons could be seen, the stars were twinkling. Blue light fell on them but various lanterns holding thick wax candles decorated certain points of the garden.

Everleigh busied herself with glancing at the trellis.

“That’s not what I was asking.” She said. “I know I can be bossy if I want to.” Everleigh tilted her head before looking back at Erland. “I was asking if you think I am bossy. You could answer me honestly.” She grinned suddenly, eyes dark with sardonic humor. “You can’t hurt my feelings, I’m a dreadlord, I have none. If you ask some citizens, I don’t even have a heart or a soul.”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

I had a soul, Erland thought, but then a Dreadlord locked it away.

He decided that it was not the right moment to express every word that formed in his head.

Erland turned to look at Everleigh. He clearly had not realised it was a joke until he saw her smile.

"A little bossy," he agreed. "You fight, even when you are pinned and do not want to fight."

Why do you want to know what I think?

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“Old habits die hard,” Everleigh laughed, her cheeks tinging with red. When Erland put it that way, how could she not shy away from the reminder that she always ended up being a spoiled brat? One would have thought her attitude better suited a noble than a dreadlord who came from a commoner family of butchers.

It was quiet between them. Everleigh let the silence linger, bringing her gaze upward.

“Do you know the constellations?”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

It was a word that they almost had in common. Erland leaned back, tilting his gaze towards the sky. He wondered if they had learned the word from his people.

"Of course," he said firmly.

"How do you think I got here?" he asked with a wry smile. There was still a little pride in what he had once been.

Erland leaned into her, lifting his arm and pointing to a tight cluster of stars.

"Kalidah challenged Hrath, the god of frost. Hrath froze him, hit him so hard with great hammer. All the pieces of Kalidah sent into sky."

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Everleigh felt the heat in her cheeks. It was still strange to have him get so close to her so casually. Despite what they did behind the closed door of Erland’s room, this was far different. A sort of intimacy that she hadn’t quite felt before. Her gimlet eyes glanced towards the Nordenfiir, realizing how close their faces were.

Quickly she looked towards the trellis and the hanging clematis before bringing her gaze up to the starry sky.

“What was Kalidah?” She asked, interested in this little story. “A mortal? Another god?” She raised up her hand, connecting five bright stars together with her fingertip, following along after Erland.

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

He could feel the confusion in her glance, without even turning to look back at her. It was surprising to meet a girl so confused by physical intimacy, yet willing to pay for his services.

Erland supposed to her position left her isolated from the world and the people of these lands.

"A man. We have many stories of Kalidah. A...lesson. Do not fight gods. Or..."

A sweep of his hand indicated the tight smattering of stars that remained of his frozen body.

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Everleigh scoffed, if only because the Anirian in her had to rear its demented head every now and then.

“Or turn into a pretty night sky for everyone to admire and become a legend that long surpasses your lifespan?” There was a upward pull of her lips. “Sounds like a good time to me: fighting a god. Kalidah won in the long run.” Confidence radiated from her, and it was that confidence that gave her the push to lean into Erland. Her ears and fingertips were cold but Everleigh wouldn’t complain. The smile lingered.

“I don’t know the whole story, but I like Kalidah. Even if he lost.” The thought of fighting a god reminded her of Zael. “I’d bet everything on him even if I knew the outcome.”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

"Humph," he went.

It was a way to go out. Challenging a god and ending up having every shattered piece of you launched into the blanket of the sky.

"I would bet on Hrath," Erland added with a smile.

"But I know stories of what Hrath did."

She was cold in places, but Erland still found even the night air in this part of the world to be warm. His skin was a furnace, there was no icy wind to wick the heat away.

"You know any?" he asked. Erland hadn't even considered that the constellations had different names in every part of the world.

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“It doesn’t matter what Hrath did,” Everleigh said, leaning further into Erland. She pressed her cold ear into his warm shoulder. “Gods weren’t made to rule, they were made to be challenged.” She was quiet, thinking. “I know a few.” A lie hidden behind a half-truth.

She pointed out a particular constellation that looked like a upside down triangle with a foot. “We call that The Hunter. But if you go to the Empire they call it The Enforcer. Their names for the constellations are different than ours. That one there is one of my favorites,” she said, pointing at another constellation that held both the beauty of a triangle and ethereal curve of a circle. “The scorpion.” Everleigh looked at Erland with a cheeky grin.

“I like to braid my hair because I’ve been told it looks like a scorpion tail.” She said. “The kaliti term for it is The Poet though, which is sorta lame.”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

Erland found that he did not like that they had different names for the stars. The stars were the stars.

When he had sailed to the Southlands, to only thing he had wanted to take from their culture were their valuables.

"If you did not have poets and singers, who would tell the stories of gods and those who fight them?" he asked.

He glanced at Everleigh and then looked back to the stars.

"Hmm, what is a scorpion?"

He was still certain that the region of Stars in question was part of a warship.

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“I guess there’s a need for poets and singers,” she relented, further pushing herself into the heat that radiated off of him. “I think there’s too many of them prancing around nowadays.” Her eyes were on Erland now, admiring how the moon glow outlined his face with a pale blue. His blonde hair seemed closer to silver than gold in this moment.

“They’re bugs, you’ll find them in places that are warmer. They don’t like the cold.” Just like her. Everleigh held up a hand, eyes glowing a soft hue of lilac and lavender. She pinched the pad of her thumb between her teeth, ignoring the pain and cut through the skin. The blood was used to make a glaucous figure of the scorpion.

There were details in its pinchers and the curve of it’s tail, even the joints in its six legs could be seen. Her memory was impeccable and every detail of the creature was shown.

“Some have eight legs, some don’t even have a tail. They’re not that big, and this one, Deathstalker, is really this small. Could easily kill a big man like yourself.”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

Erland did not get much time to see poets and dancers and artists prancing around. He worked late, slept in late and he had few freedoms.

He tried to keep some memories deep down. They evoked a deep sense of regret.

Erland thought of sitting around a fire in the middle of the town hall. The smoke gathered around the ceiling, the stale beer drying in the straw scattered around the floor. Laughter and stories.

His melancholy was interrupted by the sight of blood magic. Erland leaned away from the sight of the crimson scorpion.

"You want hair...like that?" he asked.

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“What?” The scorpion dissipated into a harmless lavender mist. Everleigh turned her body towards Erland, confusion in her eyes. Sometimes things got lost when they spoke to each other, but Everleigh always found it easier to look into Erland’s eyes to help decipher his words.

The issue was, her hair was a sore spot. Purple, she fucking hated it. She looked like a slimy purple newt or stupid frog. Her unusual features made others hesitant to approach her and it was all the worst in a place like Vel Anir. How many times had she lamented over her appearance only to realize there was nothing she could do? The Academy damaged her and it was irreversible and the worst part was everyone could see the damage whether she wanted them to or not.

“My hair used to be black.” Everleigh said quietly. “My eyes used to be gray.” And her hands used to be clean and unblemished by the blood of the thousands that died from her toxins. “And now I’m….” Suddenly, the emotions were shoved back.

“You know what I do want?” Everleigh got up, if only so she could swing herself over and to straddle Erland’s lap. “Another round. Let’s do it here. I promise to be quiet.”

---

Another visit, this time when Everleigh entered the room, she seemed pensive like when she had first came to the brothel. She sat down at the usual chair, which she was beginning to believe was her chair, and started the processing of undoing her braid.

“I came last night. You were busy. A regular of yours?”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

"Yes," Erland replied.

If Everleigh had started to study his expressions to understand him, she would find an entire story on his face now. He was not supposed to talk about clients to other clients.

The wife of the one of the local viscount was a regular. However, he was only called upon when both her husband and first lover were out of town.

She was wealthy enough that he was taken to her estate rather than her visiting here. Erland surmised that a third of her wealth went on the estate, a third on lavishing gifts upon her lovers and whoring and a third on food. Erland was slightly sore. He was also embarrassed from how she liked to dress him.

The grimace passed quickly. He meandered behind Everleigh, passing a fingertip across her shoulders.

"I am sorry. Make it up to you."

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“Why are you apologizing?” Everleigh asked, her gaze that had busied itself at looking at nothing in particular centered on Erland, catching the last moments of his grimace. Her brows furrowed together. “And why would you need to make it up to me?” She made no movement to undress, didn’t even start unlacing her boots.

“I’m not upset. Just curious.”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

He must have missed a nuance of the language, he thought to himself. Perhaps it was a game, but she did not seem amused.

"If you could not stay in town another day you would not have seen me," Erland said.

He smiled faintly, not that she could see the gesture, as he probed for her response. If she was not playing a game, then she either enjoyed these encounters less than she seemed to or was still trying to convince herself that she did not.

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“I shouldn’t be here now.” Everleigh agreed, knowing full well that there was no true reason for her to be here other than seeing him. “If I was a good dreadlord I’d be in Vel Anir right now.” She had considered it, leaving the moment she realized that she wouldn’t be able to lay with Erland.

Somehow she had gone to a inn and gotten herself a room to lay in bed alone. It was just as suffocating as the room she had in the Academy. A mixture of unbearable loneliness and solipsistic pleasure from her own body and sudden shame weltered inside her mind.

All she had wanted, she realized, was to be held. Like Zael had held her in the Blackwood. Only he could hold her like that, she was certain of it.

Everleigh got off the chair, turning to look at Erland. There was a moment of pause, short lived as Everleigh launched herself at Erland. She buried her face in his chest and arms were wrapped around him, keeping him in place.

“I wanted to see you so I stayed.” It was easy to stay. It would have been much harder to leave. Just like it would have been hard to leave with Zael, now it was hard to leave without the chance of playing pretend. Fickle and contrarian, there were times when even Everleigh exhausted herself. “I’m—“ so lonely— “a bad—“ person— “dreadlord. Aren’t I?”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

He braced and accepted her embrace. A warm and solid wall that she could bury herself into.

Those who came to see him were not always at their happiest. Sweating and exhausted, they normally spilled their secrets over a pillow. A broken relationship or unrequited love. There were still plenty of regulars who were simply bored and had coin to spare.

"I do not know what a good Dreadlord is," Erland said plainly. He wrapped his arms around Everleigh.

"I am glad you stayed."

Erland only offered a narrow range of comforts. One of them was just listening, but he knew Everleigh would not talk for long.

"Stay there a while."

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“A good Dreadlord doesn’t do this.” Everleigh muttered, rancor seeping out when she should have kept it inside. But what did it matter if she vented to a whore? It’s not like this conversation would remain private when she went back to Vel Anir, Marianne would search every crevice of her mind. It was what she deserved for loving a rogue.

It was worth it. Still, even months later, it was worth it and always would be. For him she would endure. Erland helped with enduring, with her cravings of being wanted and touched. Even if it was transactional she could play pretend.

“I….” Everleigh trailed off. What was there for her to say? She didn’t let go of Erland. “I don’t know why I’m really here. I don’t know if I really want to sleep with you tonight. But I want to stay the entire night here. Isn’t that weird?”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

"No."

The reply was firm, but also sympathetic.

He had many clients who simply sat and talked. Many simply complained of their lives perhaps because their partners no longer wished to listen in an evening.

A heavy hand - that could have easily slid up into the nape of her neck and initiated something more heated - caressed her smooth hair down the back of her head.

She felt much smaller and fragile in his grip all of a sudden.

A small voice at the back of his head asked him if a Dreadlord might murder a confidant who had seen this side of them.

"They can bring you wine. Or food. Be comfortable and warm."

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

“I don’t want food. Or wine.” Everleigh said, sullen and petulant, clearly pouting although Erland wouldn’t be able to see it with her still hiding her face into his chest. She didn’t release her grip from around Erland, taking the time she needed to get her face, and attitude, back in order. When she pulled away from him, there was a stiff indifference etched into her features.

“Could you hold me though, like this? Throughout the night?” Everleigh lowered her gaze. It was embarrassing to ask such a thing, to nearly admit to the void of loneliness that was growing every day inside her. “Please?”

Erland Karr

 

[Erland Karr]

He almost told her the truth: that she could have whatever she wanted because her coin bought that.

That was not what she would have wanted to hear.

"You do not need to say please," he told her. Erland placed a gentle kiss to her temple, just at the line of her hair.

He did not understand the life of a Dreadlord or the pressures she had had endured to become one.

Erland took a hand step back - towards the furs - and offered his hand. He stood before her with no judgement on his face. A wall of a man, his features, accent and colourings were foreign. He did not need to understand to offer a modicum of comfort.

"Come," he said with a small nod.

 

[Everleigh Ebersol]

Everleigh felt the top of her ears become red. The small kiss to her temple was just that: a small, meaningless kiss. She hadn’t been kissed like that since she was a kid. Those comforting kisses from her father and mother when she was young that she could clearly remember and could count.

She remembered how they would so easily scoop her up in their arms, holding her close to their chest to then kiss her face and tickle her. She remembered laughing so much her ribs and cheeks hurt, delirious from the affection and love of her parents. She couldn’t know then but she had taken it for granted.

It didn’t matter what she did at the Academy to impress the adults around her. Doing well was just her doing her duty. She had gone from being born to parents that welcomed her and asked for nothing to then being forced to give her body and mind to a repeated dolorous tale of atrocity. What a horrible exchange the world gave her.

Everleigh took his hand and followed after him, kicking off her boots in the process, having only one thing to turn to now. Downcast eyes that were stuck at Erland’s feet traveled up to his eyes.

With her hands that only knew how to kill, she tugged Erland down towards her and onto the bed to lay beside her. Quiet, all Everleigh could think was how awful it was for her to force him into performing just like she had to.

Erland Karr