Fable - Ask Shedding Skin

[Davi]

Davi's head was still spinning with the revelation that he did not pick up on the shift in Ralene's tone or the change in her face. He was so out of sorts he almost sprung across the room when the monk returned.

"Thanks," he said stiffly but had to force himself to then reach out and take the book from his hand. And fae? He supposed that was what was meant by fair folk. An elf or a fae... he could handle that possibility... couldn't he? His family hadn't even been a part of the Anirian Empire when he had been born. There was nothing wrong with what was in his blood. Nothing.

His hands tightened on the book.

Without another word he inclined his head to the monk and then ducked out the door behind him, heading for the open air.

 

[Samantha Black]

Ralene watched this exchange and the gamut of emotions surging through Davi's expression with silent curiosity. Davi was still a bit of an unknown to him in many ways. Quiet, introverted, bit of a hermit, and definitely anti-social. She could understand the why, given their history together, but the why was really only surface deep. The cogs were furiously turning in that head of his and for a few moments she believed that was what turned his hair curly.

Then he left in such a hurry it almost made her wonder if he was turning tail and running for good. Almost.

For all she did and did not know of Davi, she knew him not to be a quitter. So clearly whatever this elf was saying to him was getting under his skin bad. It triggered in her that same innate reaction as before when Rolan had let his mouth run away with him and when the elf turned back to his work she was right there, standing over him with a stare of ice that could have frozen the heart of Tyr.

Rolan startled and tripped backwards past a chair, landing on his rump in a heap. Ralene closed the distance immediately and leaned down over him.

"We're not going back to how it was," she said to him with a level tone, furrowed brow, and tight jaw, "and you're not dragging us there with you."

"I..." Rolan frowned deeply and leaned away from her, "I'm not sure I know what you mean. I'm telling you he's not human - he can't be with-"

"I don't give a fuck what he is or isn't and neither should you," Ralene stabbed the elf's chest with a pointed finger, "we're not going back to how it was."


She left Rolan there on the floor rubbing at his sternum fretfully. Collecting her books and scroll, Ralene set out to follow the path she thought Davi had taken. He wasn't like to go hiding in a building he was unfamiliar with, especially not with the possibility of running into a stranger and having to explain himself. It was likely he'd run back the way they'd come, so that is where she went.

 

[Davi]

The roan gently bent his head down to mouth at Davi's hair.

Ralene was right in assuming he had not run nor hidden in a place he did not know. His thoughts had been too jumbled to really consciously think of where he wanted to go other than away from those eyes, those too-familiar eyes. His feet had carried him here to the warm comforting scent of the stables and his horse. It had been a refuge at the Academy and it seemed that old trick would not die with his new life.

Tenderly he reached up and stroked the geldings soft nose and then shut his eyes. There was a shift of weight behind him and soon he felt the horse's warmth against his back.

You have a way with animals I've only ever seen with... never mind.

Fair folk? Proctor Petrocles had been the only one to show him a semblance of kindness. The librarian had often looked at Davi like one might at a stray cat. But he had known, Davi was sure of it.

Did it matter?

That question kept coming back to him as his thoughts circled helplessly within his mind. Did it matter what it was? He wanted to tell himself no, he wanted to be relieved he knew what it was that he could do so he might learn and become stronger. A better Dreadlord. That's all he'd ever wanted to do; prove everyone else wrong by becoming good. But now he couldn't prove them wrong because... they were right. No matter how hard he tried there was no changing his blood. He would never be a true Dreadlord.

 

[Samantha Black]

She didn't have his nose, of course, or his animal instincts, but Ralene had spent the last few years learning to listen to her gut. Usually it wasn't wrong, except in the cases when she was very hungry or emotionally charged. Right now she was neither. If anything, Davi's seeming loss of control over his own emotions was giving her the mental clarity to keep things calm and level.

By the time she reached the main road of town Ral and decided she knew where she would look for him first, but that she wasn't going to hurry and do it. Time alone was often time well spent for her when she needed to think things through. Being labeled a fae was as good enough an impetus for thinking as she could gather. She went back to the Inn instead to sit a while with their host and eat.

Later that evening her footsteps announced her arrival to the stable. Ral wouldn't admit it, but the relief she felt as seeing his boots sticking out through the opening to his horse's stall was a weight off her chest. She really hadn't wanted to go searching for him through the night.

With a heavy sigh, she stepped under the crossguard of the stall door and let herself in, carefully balancing a bowl with his dinner in one hand while clutching a canteen of water in the other.

"Thought I'd find you here," she said as she moved to take a seat against the wall beside him with a grunt, then passed him the bowl without bothering to ask if he was hungry, "eat."

 

[Davi]

Davi considered leaving when he caught Ralene's scent. He didn't want to talk nor be told his worries were frivolous. The rational part of him was already saying those things but they did little to help. But the idea of leaving twisted his stomach in knots and so he stayed put and waited for her to appear.

"Thanks," he took the offered bowl but instead of tucking in he set it to the side. The gelding instantly put his nose in it then recoiled upon finding that not only was it not something he would like to eat, but hot too. Davi rolled his eyes. "idiot."

He found, to his surprise, he was content to sit in silence with Ralene by his side. Tension didn't creep into his shoulders as it so often did around people and the urge to make an excuse and leave didn't come either. So he sat and merely enjoyed that small mercy as he closed his eyes.

 

[Samantha Black]

Lucky enough for Davi, Ral didn't feel much like talking and the word frivolous wasn't a common one of her personal lexicon. Silence didn't bother her where conversation wasn't warranted. She'd come to check on him, the horses, and make herself available should such a need for speaking arise. Wasn't expecting it to - in fact she'd brought one of her traveling books with her to get some reading in before the light of day was totally lost.

The pair sat in quiet for a while with only the sounds of the barn and the errant turning page to disturb them. When Ral found herself squinting through the faint glow of the lantern hung above she decided that was enough for the night.

"I'm turning in," she said as she folded the book shut and slowly moved to stand, "on a bed, in the Inn, while I can." They'd be on the road for several days more before reaching Vel Castere. It would be bedrolls and camping the rest of the way. While neither of them were likely to complain, Ralene wasn't about to turn down a better option when she had one. For free.

"Davi," Ral added and clamped a hand onto his shoulder firmly for good measure, "eat something. We leave first light."

 

[Davi]

Davi cracked open an eye as her hand came down upon his shoulder. Truth be told he had begun to slip into a state of sleep himself, his mind having driven itself in circles until it was too tired to think anymore. Shifting he found one foot was almost completely numb and he wriggled his toes within his boots to try and get some feeling back before attempting to stand. The mention of food won her a grunt of acknowledgement but he made no move for the now cold bowl and instead rolled to his feet. The roan only huffed but quickly returned to his soft snoring.

"A bed sounds good," he admitted and walked with her back across the now dark courtyard. His mind was oddly calm. He had not accepted what this knowledge made him but it no longer tore at him. He knew and that, for tonight, was enough. "Thank you," he said once they were back within the inn - words he had been saying too often when it came to Ralene. He dug his hands into his pockets and turned towards his own room.

"Goodnight, Ral."

 

[Samantha Black]

She was actually a bit surprised he'd opt for the bed. Ral had assumed he'd stay nestled in the hay with his horse. Either way, seemed a bit like progress. Now if only the idiot would eat. Pressing the issue for a third time didn't feel right, but she'd make damn sure he had breakfast before they got back on their journey. No one had given a damn about the state of him - a half-starved scarecrow compared to herself - at the Academy, but Holstag wouldn't stand for a Knight under his command being in such a state.

Davi would have to get used to being treated like a goddamn person.

Ralene looked after him with a raised brow at the gratitude and watched him shuffle off in her own silence. When she reached her own room she did not even bother to remove her travel gear. About four seconds after laying back on her bed she was out for the night.

~~~

"Markim mentioned a sickness came through the city," Ralene said to Jules the next morning over an exceptionally early pot of coffee.

"Oh, yeh, rough one that," Jules nodded. The old woman busied herself stoking the fire in the stove, "tore through the whole city like a flame through a parched wheat field. Lost a lotta folks."

"Know what it was?"

"Grief Fever, said the Doctor, come over from 'Liria with a trade caravan. Vel Draza was closed up, Monks wouldn't let nobody in or out till it passed. Most everyone got sick ... fever, sour mess. The bad ones though..." Jules shook her head and pressed a palm to her temple as she thought back, "went real pale like sandstone and clung to death for days a'fore passin. Weren't no remedy."

"Not even a Healer?"

"Not had a Healer in Draza since thirty years I'd say, but even the herbs from the Monks didn't do much. Might've helped a few. Mostly they just kept the dying ones quiet and comfortable."

"But you pulled through."

"Well," Jules coughed into a laugh, "I'm fit as a fiddle I am, weren't no fever gonna take me. Go fetch us some eggs from the chicken hutch and I'll start fixin' yous brek."

 

[Davi]

Davi looked a dishevelled mess when he appeared as though summoned by the scents of eggs and bacon drifting through the inn. He ran a hand through unruly curls and with his other rubbed sleep from his eyes. He'd been unable to fall asleep for some hours even with the soft comfort of a bed and had begun reading the small book that had upturned his whole life view. He wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep but he'd woken with the book on his face the indent of which was still visible on his stubbled cheek.

"Mornin'," he grunted and grabbed the pot of coffee to pour himself a large mugful as he eased himself into the chair opposite Ralene. "Did I hear that right? They don't have a healer here?"

 

[Samantha Black]

"Aye," said Ral, already loaded up with a plate of sausage, eggs, cheese, and some weird vegetable Jules pushed at her. Ral wasn't picky, food was food and she needed it to sustain her build and her magic. When she finally looked up to Davi it was followed promptly by a quick look-over and raised brow.

"No healer. Not uncommon for the outlying territories not to have them from what I've seen. Not as though many of them make it through the Academy alive..." there were a few that learned to walk both sides of the blade. She could only presently think of the younger Marcella from the lower class, though Ralene wondered if perhaps now the Revolution might put more focus on such things.

Healers were rather useful, after all, and Vel Anir sorely lacked in them.

"We've the Monks," Jules said as she began putting a plate together for the boy without even asking, "knowledgeable sort but not Healers, no."

The plate settled down in front of the boy, filled just as she would have for any of the Knights sitting at her table, "Got fresh milk and hot coffee, or bit o' both if ye like."

Ral watched Davi closely, waiting to see that he'd actually dig in.

 

[Davi]

The sight of food made his stomach curdle.

In the Academy growing up Davi had been as ruthless on himself as the Proctors had been. The way it had manifested in the small child was by not eating. If he was not worth anything, he did not deserve to eat had been the simplistic thinking of an eight year old struggling to understand the new world he found himself in. The punishment had grown worse as the years progressed and in his mid teens he had gone days sometimes without eating until he was hurled to the healers. After that the Proctors had kept an eye on him but food still tasted like ash whenever he was distressed or upset.

Like now.

"In my home town we had Wisdom's," he focused on sipping his coffee. "They were trained in medicines, surgery, that type of thing. Each Wisdom looked after a certain area."

 

[Samantha Black]

"Aye," Jules nodded, "a good medic worth their weight in gold. But the Guard likes to send them to the fronts."

"If only we had more Healers for the front..." Ralene remarked ironically.

Jules gave a choked sort of laugh, "Perhaps that will change. We can only hope for better."

Ralene didn't find hope to be particularly useful, but she wasn't about to voice that opinion aloud. It was the people who pushed the effort for change that made hope count.

"That noble I helped save from Wissburg ... Sirl," Ral's brow pinched in thought, "she had big plans for Vel Anir's medical crisis. You want to put hope in anything that might actually happen, put it in her."

"A Sirl, doing something for the greater good?" Jules snorted, "And my chicken lays golden eggs. ... what's wrong with your plate laddie?" the old women looked at Davi, "You've not touched a bite."

 

[Davi]

Davi's thoughts had drifted off as the two women discussed healers. His mind returned instead to the pages he had read the night before on the art of learning different forms. Studying them had been the only way he had come across, but some with this gift could do it entirely based on imagination and create something new. How did he focus his mind like...

"Hm?" he blinked up from where he had been staring at his hand to the older woman and recoiled back just an inch at seeing the stern look on her face. She reminded him of his own grandmother. Or at least, the impression he still had of her. "Nothing," he quickly glanced down at his plate. "I'm just not that hungry. All that soup last night," he lied and slid out of his chair.

"I'll get the horses ready, perhaps we can catch up with the General."

 

[Samantha Black]

"Davi," it was Ralene's turn to scowl, "your horse ate half that soup and you left the rest behind when we went to bed."

Lying. A good way to get on her bad side. Dark brows furrowed over a piercing stare of frigid blue. Unfortunately for her, concern looked a whole lot like aggression. She'd yet to hone those nuances.

"We're not leaving until you eat."

 

[Davi]

A muscle feathered in his jaw.

"I'm not hungry," his tone was too crisp, too pleasant, too lacking in emotion. The type of tone that foretold an anger brewing in the depths.

"Do you want to reach your General or not?"

 

[Samantha Black]

"We're not in the academy anymore, Davi, we'll reach him when we reach him," Ralene answered, voice steady as she recognized purposeful defiance before her, "after you eat."

 

[Davi]

The resulting silence was uncomfortable enough that Jules wisely realised she had indeed not finished the laundry and shuffled out. Davi heard her shut the door behind herself but he didn't take his eyes off of Ralene, nor did he move to sit down. Instead, when the silence grew as taught as a piece of string, he turned and strode from the room.

 

[Samantha Black]

There were a lot of emotions fighting for supremacy inside her in that moment, prime of which was her innate response of anger. A lifetime spent enforcing her top-dog status over the other Initiates was a hard one to kick and one that her Captain had spent a lot of years grinding down. It still came in clutch as her first response, but Ralene swallowed it down, hard, to let something else take over.

What reared up in its wake surprised even her: deep concern.

She knew it was important not to let him get out of her sight this time so her body was quick to follow. Measured movements and strides took her after him, knowing he could beat her in swiftness but likely couldn't outrun her for long if it came down to it. Ralene was fully charged - Davi hadn't eaten a full meal since the last one they'd had at the Academy. That bread and cheese from their night under the stars wouldn't take him far, especially not if he opted to shift.

Part of her wanted to simply rush at him, grab him, and drag him back. The part that thought there might be a chance of berating some sense into him. It wasn't a big part and it didn't shout as loud as the part that insisted on a more cautious approach.

Keep on his heels, but don't chase. Not yet. Make sure it was really worth it. In the end - if he truly wanted to run away and renig on his decision to join her, that was his choice to make. They all had that choice now, thanks to the revolution. They could turn tail and run, join the exiles or disappear into the world never to be seen or heard from again. The thought impressed a frown onto her face.

Ral would never admit it aloud, but she'd grown a fondness for the wolf. A protectiveness she couldn't quite place. Didn't want to see him go because if he did ... she couldn't watch his back the way she thought he needed.

"Have you got my back?" she said after him once he exited the inn and stepped off onto the street. Ral pulled to a stop at the edge of the porch, "Have you got my back, Davi?!"

 

[Davi]

Ralenes presence in his shadow was like a bur beneath his fur. He ran from the conversation not from her but his growing guilt told him he knew how it would look from her perspective. Did he really harbour this loyalty and trust to her for simply saving his life? He dismissed the callous thiught as soon as it entered his mind. No, Davi felt this way because she was the first one who had thought him worthy of it in return.

He froze as she called out and his shoulders bunched up as though fending off a physical blow. The conversation would come whether he chose to leave or not and he found the latter an abhorrence.

"Of course I do," he replied in that icy, dangerously calm tone he had used in the dining hall and turned back to face her, his eyes echoing that cold fury. "How could you even ask me that? Over a bowl of food?"

 

[Samantha Black]

"Because you can't take care of others if you don't first take care of yourself."

It was as simple as that. If Davi couldn't understand that foundation of strength and was willing to let himself waste over ... what? She did not even know and that was her own failing to deal with. His anger didn't find a mirror in her own eyes, but a steely regard of someone who had already been well-adjusted to knowing exactly what looking out for others meant. Ral had that opportunity to learn in her time away from the Academy under Holstag's mentoring, Davi hadn't. He'd have to learn all the same lessons she had and he'd have to learn them fast.

"How can I count on you if you won't even eat? We're a team now, Davi. You, me, and everyone else in the squadron. We look out for each other."

She felt her fists flexing as she churned through the countless things in her head she wanted to say and even yell.

"And we don't lie when something's wrong. We can't help each other if we don't know what they need..." her brows set over her gaze as she gave him a look over, "so look me in the eye, tell me the truth, and I'll drop it. Are you not hungry or is it something else?"

 

[Davi]

Davi's jaw worked as he struggled to think of the words, the right words, to say to the only person who had given him a chance. His instinct was to attack and hurt deep in order to free himself from having to say the truth - or worse - see the judgement in her eyes. You could trust me to know my limits! He wanted to hurl back at her but he didn’t, couldn't. The words would not come.

He looked away then half turned towards the stables with his arms folding over his chest.

"I can't," he croaked. "I can't eat. If I do I will throw it up. It's not..." Davi shut his eyes and tilted his face to the budding sunrise. "I've been like this for years. I don't remember not being like this."

 

[Samantha Black]

That was ... not an answer she'd expected and it jarred her enough to alleviate the strain of her jaw as she held her internal turmoil in check. The lines of her expression shifted, confusion evident as she eyed her fellow Dreadlord. Ralene could only remember having issues with food when sick - but he didn't look ill. Well ... he did, but not in a way she was familiar.

But couldn't be an illness? What would last like that for years? He hadn't thrown up the bread and cheese, had he? She'd been awake the entire time and she clearly remembered him sleeping through the night. Seen to it that he could.

"I- ... is it ... a physical issue? Do you need medicine ...or potions? I have some in my packs," general potions for the road; healing and mana potions, poison cure to name a few. Though she had some ginger - something Chasmine had given to her some time ago for some malady that she didn't want to let go to waste.

 

[Davi]

Davi believed he would have preferred to have had every nail torn from his fingers than try to explain this broken fragment of his psyche. He hated that it existed and ignored it as best as he could - or at least he had been until now.

"It can't be solved with medicine," the healers had not really cared until this past year but by then the damage had been done. He dug his fingers into his forearms to force himself to continue speaking before he lost his nerve. "It's... it's something in my head," the absurdity of hearing it out loud made him give a harsh bark of a laugh. "I suppose I should be thankful this was the only thing they fucked up. That... Proctor they got in to try and sort our heads out said I do it to punish myself," he shrugged, still unable to look her in the eye. "I don't know if it's really that anymore. All I know is that sometimes, even the thought of food makes me sick."

 

[Samantha Black]

The thought of food makes me sick.

This did not bode well for a future with the Knights and Ralene felt the deep fissure of dread strike at her core. Was she bringing Davi into a life he couldn't live up to because of this ... problem? If it was in his head, how did they fix it? She was not equipped to handle these kinds of problems.

Give her a battle map. A foe. A magic puzzle. A challenge of might or wit. Ralene could work those things out given enough time and room to do so. But empathy and feelings weren't two things she was particularly good at dealing with. So how did this work?

Captain Holstag would tell her to work with what she had. So what did she have?

She had Davi, willing to follow her and watch her back - and that was a solid start. To abandon him now wouldn't sit with her at all. Not after she'd dug the truth out of him and here he stood, struggling to give it to her. The point was that he had, so now she had to figure out how to help him. Her silence in thought was long and she had yet to look away from him even while he refused to meet her gaze.

"Okay," the word came along a deep sigh, "I'm sorry." Two words she'd spoken so rarely they could likely be counted with only one hand. She mentally urged him to look at her and see that she meant it with every fiber of her being.

"Now that I know ... I'll -" well, she wasn't exactly sure what she would do. She'd be aware of it, for certain. Her jaw clamped shut as she grew frustrated with herself and her lack of ability to communicate the maelstrom of thoughts in her head.

"We will figure it out," Ral settled on, nodding to herself, "I need you strong, Davi, so you can be there to watch all our backs. Tell me what you need from me."

 

[Davi]

This time Davi's laugh was choked with unshed tears. Sorry? For what, caring? Caring when nobody else had? It seemed absurd she should be the one apologising when he was the one with the problem. She all but said it when she reiterated he needed to be strong - something he couldn't be when he was still bone and wiry muscle. He needed to be more like Sable or Edric. Fuck, even Zael!

"I don't need anything, Ral. Just... just don't ... don't leave me behind. Please," his voiced cracked on the last word. "I know I can watch your backs. I know it here," he thumped his chest. "This problem doesn't define my worth."