Private Tales Scorched Earth

[Raigryn Vayd]

He liked to surprise her, but it was difficult when the landscape around the town was so empty. It was relatively flat and dusty.

We will follow the river upwards. If we can. A surprise for us both.

That was true, even if he was not convinced that it would be a very spectacular one. He wished he had something up his sleeve to surprise her with.

You can lead if socks wants to. Normally the pony was content to follow Dusty on a trail but he suspected the pony had some energy to burn off.

 

[Fife]

Fine by her. Fife turned her pony ahead of them, his little legs doing their best to speed up into a trot, but Fife kept him to a walk in the village. Or, rather, as much of a trot as she could manage to keep him. He might have been a plump, lackadaisical thing, but he seemed as eager for an outing as his rider.

As soon as they were beyond the last of the tents, Fife clicked to him and loosened the reins to trot along as fast as he liked. It wasn't fast, per se, because he was still a squat little thing. But for him it was spirited.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

Raigryn laughed as they left the town and Socks broke into a trot. There was little in the area to focus his attention on. Fife being ahead led to mild regret. Idemni clothing was form fitting and made to move with the warrior. He could see exactly how much definition she had added to her frame.

She is your student, your charge, he insisted to himself. It wasn't her appearance that tugged at him. In his younger years he had chased women with bright red hair, with curves to die for. It was her nature. Her private mischievous smile when she had managed to drop a subtle tease.

As they left the rocks and turned after North upriver he caught sight of a few idemni scouts in the distance. He pressed Dusty's flanks and the horse dutiful sped up to bring him alongside Fife.

"Let's not go too close to the water," he called. It was well watched by scouts he couldn't see. If anyone wanted to destroy the town, its single water source was a good place to start. They were a paranoid people and he was partly to blame for that.

 

[Fife]

Socks happily moved between a trot and a light lope, and Fife was amused enough to let him. She didn't let him get too far ahead of the others, however. It was a nice day, bright and warm and dry -- so incredibly different from the cool damp days she was accustomed to in Elbion.

For once, Fife had caught sight of the scouts as well. She had once more slowed Socks and looked up to Raigryn when he caught up. Whatever had prompted his caution, Fife wasn't sure, but she nodded in agreement all the same. She generally steered clear of it when she was alone anyway, since she didn't know how to swim. It would have been her kind of luck to drown in the desert.

Now that they had caught up, her pony seemed much more content to keep to the horse's side. She was content with silence for a little while, looking out over the ruddy landscape. While it might not have been the most captivating they'd traveled through, there was a certain charm to it.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

It was a comfortable silence, rising side be side. The stream had to vanish into the rocks somewhere before emerging within Indretar. He wondered if the caves where Maellarn controlled the shadows provided access to the water before it flowed out into daylight again.

"It is a slender thread to which they cling," he observed, pointing to the stream. It was not a wide, gushing river. "Such a thin lifeline."

 

[Fife]

Raigryn, as usual, was less content with the quiet at a point. Fife's mouth twitched in humor only momentarily, however. She arched a brow and looked from him to the river, then back again. Someone was feeling philosophical today. While she often found his poetic manner of speaking endearing, it was (or as she assumed it to be) an indicator of a great deal of forethought on the matter beforehand.

She knew that the Idemni's current existence was twofold at his hand, both in the circumstances that had reduced them to their small numbers and the guidance that had brought them back together to this single community. She also knew he would have rather been vilified where he instead found respect. Fife found the pressure of deciding things only for the two of them overwhelming; she struggled to fathom the weight of his past.

While she didn't want today to steer too close to the dark corners they didn't like looking at, she also didn't want to dismiss his remarks.

I don't think they would like an easier life, she offered. Fife signed with the reins looped in her pinky. They have pride in hard work.

She couldn't see the Idemni living anywhere else. This landscape was harsh and unforgiving, but they still made their way here without complaint. Rather, Fife felt as though they were thriving on it, a lifestyle that further embodied the work ethic of their people.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

Raigryn smiled. He held his comment back for a few seconds longer, but could not keep it down.

"You are becoming a very good empath," he observed. "And it was very kind of you to steer the conversation that way. We are going to run out of secrets from one another."

There was a glimmer of embarrassment at the front of his mind before he buried it down. Hopefully by the time her powers of observation and Empathy had reached that point he would be admitting to a past feeling that had faded with time.

Fife had a point. The idemni were also now more centrally focused. They had been spread out before with almost no governance. A culture of mercenaries with a strict hierarchy. Raigryn couldn't bring himself to feel glad for what he had been a part of. He never would.

 

[Fife]

Heat burned in her cheeks, and not from the sun. Acknowledging or complimenting her in any regard, academic or otherwise, generally drew the brush of scarlet across her cheeks. Fife doubted she would grow accustomed to the feeling any time soon, if at all. She didn't want him to dwell on his dark feelings any more than she wanted to. Theirs were different shadows, but shadows nonetheless.

She scoffed at talk of secrets, however, a small hiss through her teeth. I only recently learned to speak, and I know very little about you, she signed with a wide grin. I am certain we have not exhausted our secrets.

Fife, for one, had a decade of memory she had not been able to tell anyone about, for better or worse. There were a number of regrets that still hung over her head like the feet of men on the gallows.

And she knew next to nothing about him, only the most obvious facts he had been forthcoming about and one very heavy regret from his past. One of those she only knew because someone other than him had told her. If he had three decades on her in age, there was surely plenty to surprise her with. For all she knew, he could have a family out in the world -- parents and siblings and all that.

But she realized that that was a pretty heavy statement, like she might be accusing him of still being a stranger. So she hooked her knee over the gullet of the saddle and turned toward with brows high and grin all trouble.

I was made to rob graves when I was young, she told him. Not a story she was proud of, but there was very little in her past to be proud of. Might as well start with an interesting one. I was very small. Less digging and less breaking. Less obvious to guards and took less time. Older kids gave me bread for the work.

Fife shuddered and made a face of disgust, making it clear how she had felt about crawling around in coffins.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

Raigryn didn't want to just offer her pity. He wanted to offer the opportunity to find a better life for herself. Did that make him a good person? When a thief without any empathy would have been tossed back out on the street? It was hard to tell. The scales of his life were not easy to set into motion.

It hurt to think of what had happened to her, to recall the sharp pain and a hand between her shoulder blades. Another grim task in digging up corpses riddled with maggots.

"I suppose a corpse was less likely to drag you off to the guards." Raigryn sighed and shook his head.

"I am have more years of secrets held down," he admitted. "Though I don't think I have many secrets as much as history I haven't described in detail. I suppose then you can ask away now that you can." Until the next retcon

"As a start I was very spoiled as a child. An only child. I think that is why I always assumed it was my place to make decisions which meant that I did not always think them through."

 

[Fife]

He never seemed as amused by the small glimpses of her past as she was. Fife had learned a long time ago that laughing at herself and her stumbles and mishaps was easier than grappling them head-on. Laughing had always come easier than crying.

The idea that she could just ask him felt... unreal somehow. She knew she could, but it wasn't that easy. Was it? Surely he didn't expect her to ask these things outright? Not knowing each other was mutual; she hadn't asked and neither had he. On her part, Fife just didn't know if it was appropriate or welcome to pry. It wasn't like she conversed often. She had just assumed they would talk about it at some unknown milestone of being friends.

But Raigryn met her revelation with one of his own. So there were no mystery siblings out in the world. Fife found it hard to picture him as he described himself in the past: spoiled and pretentious. It was impossible for her to imagine him as anything other than her grouchy, silver-haired scholar with kind eyes and a penchant for gossip.

However, the mention of parents made her interest perk up. Perhaps because she didn't know the first thing about her own, it was a nagging curiosity about others.

You have parents? Almost immediately after asking she realized that of course he did. Everyone had parents, even her. She hastily continued with red in her cheeks. Where did you live?

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

"I had parents," he replied. There was no sadness in his voice, no cloud of Misery around him.

"It's nearly twenty years since I lost them. By then I had already finished my training and was abroad. I didn't know for six months. It wasn't long after that when I started honing my talent on the battlefield and joined the campaign heading west."

Raigryn had turned introspective, his hushed tone slightly undermined by his voice bouncing to the pace of the horse. It felt like such a lifetime ago. The clear demarcation between that world and this would be glossed over next. The other side of that barrier had been etched into stone outside Indretar. One of the few places his deeds would be displayed now.

"After making my name came it losing its value. Empathy was slowly slipping from favour and then it was dropped. I have been mostly alone for nearly eight years now."

Now came the tinge of Misery around him.

 

[Fife]

Listening, Fife was reminded of why she was so hesitant to ask questions. Had. He didn't seem sad about it, or perhaps had moved past it enough in twenty years to be able to speak plainly about it. Six months' delay in finding out about the passing of one's own parents was something that even Fife expected to be ugly.

As clearly as he had begun speaking, she wasn't expecting the note of Misery at the end. It shouldn't have surprised her, because it was a normal emotion and it was a given that he would feel it same as everyone else. Still, to feel any of his emotions that he hadn't intended for her to feel was rare.

This particular Misery made her chest twinge and her hands, resting on her bent knee, curl tighter around the reins. Fife might not have known what it was like to lose family or reputation, but she knew loneliness. Gods, did she know that. The moment it registered, it seemed to echo inside of her like a bell until she didn't know if it was her own feeling answering or his.

Still half-turned in the saddle, she steered Socks close enough to gently tap her boot against his.

"Were", she spelled with a soft smile. You were alone.

She couldn't meet his eye long with that one, however. Her gaze dipped to her hands where they came to rest on her knee.

Fife liked to think that he liked her enough for that to be a comfort. He said things so often that made her chest tight, adding to her uncertainties while also comforting her. Maybe he only meant for it to be until she was trained enough to safely turn her back into the wild, so to speak, but when he talked about the future it was with words like "our" and "we". He said things like "forever" that made it hard to breathe -- as if someone might want her in their life as more than a charity case or convenient tool.

She wanted so badly the believe that any of this was real or lasting, but even after a year she still expected it to slip through her fingers. She was still the same foolish girl who put too much faith in temporary kindness.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

A shard of joy was sunlight breaking through the clouds. There was no time to separate such feelings. For all his exercises he knew they bled into one another. What started as two distinct colours, a vivid beauty in their contrast, slowly merged into something new.

Raigryn let his eyes fall to look down at his hands as well. He should have looked back at her, but he was overwhelmed and did not even attempt to hide those feelings from Fife. Without her being able to fully communicate to him he had not even thought about how opaque his life was to her. He had selfishly enjoyed bringing the mystery and living through her eyes.

"As long as..." he started to say, but he had to swallow his words and take a deep, involuntary breath. There had been so little joy in his own life to so long. No companionship. He was wary of leaning on Fife for support, on taking anything in return.

Especially with how he had been feeling recently. Raigryn regathered himself, aware that his beginning sounded like an ultimatum. He turned in the saddle to face her, eyes glistening despite the tight smile he wore.

"As long as you want to, you can stay with me for as long as you want Fife." He made the idemni sign for promise.

 

[Fife]

In the very face of the two-sided coin of clinging to anything that made her feel human and mistrusting doubt in everyone and everything, she felt... Joy. It was difficult to hide her surprise when she looked at him.

Raigryn was a mystery, a force in her life she didn't understand any more than a storm that swept over the land. He was emotionally aloof, distant because of the privacy of his mind and feelings. Fife could feel the emotions of others, even the Idemni for all their attempts at subduing them. But not him. Never Raigryn.

So to feel his Misery and the answering Joy to her remark was uncharacteristic. Seeing him struggle with a response was captivating, but did not match the idea of him shs had constructed. The simple outward and emotional honesty was jarring. Fife was unused to this -- to seeing him vulnerable and tripped up over the simple reminder that she was here. She thought of him as controlled and collected, strong in his solitude.

But that loneliness still echoed, and the bright streak of surprise and happiness that he didn't hide from her made her stomach flip.

Fife was already watching him when he turned with a smile and a promise. A promise. His eyes shone and he appeared so... delicate. He wasn't the resolute fortress she imagined him to be. She felt guilty that she had misjudged him so severely, that she still didn't trust him.

She didn't know how to answer his promise. It stole the very air from her lungs and they found no sustenance from the breath they drew to replenish it. Fife wanted to share his honesty, but the feelings that answered were unbridled and strange. There was an equally bright flare of giddy joy. That, at least she recognized. Beside it was a quiet note of loneliness, soft and afraid of the promise he was making. Promises were dangerous things.

And somehow summoned between those two was the reaching. Unexpectedly blue in her mind, it was possessive and demanding. It knew what it wanted, and it was warm hands and tight arms. She tried to pull just that feeling back, mostly unsuccessfully because it was so inherently part of the other two. She did not want him getting the wrong idea about that raw, unfiltered blue. He was an Empath, and Desire was Desire.

She had to answer his words with something, however. Drawing a deep breath, she flashed a smile back.

As long as you want me to stay, I will stay.

For a long time now, this had been a question she had been too afraid to ask for fear of knowing its answer. When had it become a question of how long would his goodness last from the original question: when did she take her leave? At what point had she wanted to stay more?

Fife looked away first, but there was warmth and honesty in her expanding smile. They had been showing their cards too much lately. Moments like these were becoming far too common between them. She didn't mind. He was proving that she had misjudged him or, at the very least, misunderstood the man always standing behind his barriers.

But she thought she knew now how she could finally repay him for all that he had done for her.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

Raigryn knew that he should have told Fife right away that she didn't have to stay on his behalf. He should have immediately told her that she could leave whenever she saw an opportunity to find her own fulfilling life and that he would respect it.

He spent so much time trying to do what was right for others that he rarely stopped and considered what he wanted. Raigryn promised himself that he would find the time to make that point another day. She was young and he was old. In the end her path would have to take her beyond him, but if she wanted to lock it to his right now then he could accept that gladly.

Fife knew her own mind. That much he had come to learn about her. She wasn't so intimidated that she didn't tease him when she had the chance. His qualms could tick along to be picked up another day for a closer look.

That full spectrum of emotions radiating from Fife reinforced his own. Any kind of relationship between powerful empaths was a special thing when there was trust, as well as understanding between them. Emotion wasn't though. If you were willing to open up you had to be ready to talk too.

"Then stay because you want to, because I want you to," he replied. He slowed up Dusty, knowing they would have to return for more of the Silent Way soon.

 

[Fife]

Because I want you to. Fife drew a slow, deep breath, feeling the heat in her cheeks even as her smile widened. The answer to a question she had been afraid to ask, but better than she would have dared allow herself to dream it. She didn't have to make up her mind on things today, or any time soon. She had, for the first time in her life, the leisure of feeling ready and the freedom to decide for herself.

But this was all very serious, and she wanted to chase away the remainder of that sadness still lingering about his eyes. As Raigryn slowed Dusty, Fife brought Socks around him, unfolding her leg and swinging it back to the proper side of the saddle.

Then you are stuck with me, old man, she signed with a self-satisfied smile. She clicked Socks into a little trot to cut a tight turn behind Dusty and round back in front of him again. Can you keep up with me?

She was starting to feel peckish and was in a playful mood. If they hurried back, they could have a light lunch in the stables while she brushed the horses before going to see Maellarn. Socks, for one, had the spunk to run for a bit, and she knew Dusty would have no issue keeping up to the pony's much smaller strides.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

"I am been riding since before..."

But Fife had already set off without entertaining his bloviation. Raigryn barked out a laugh and very casually set Dusty off in pursuit.

He knew this was deliberate, he knew she was trying to lighten the mood. More and more her personality had been set free, no longer crushed by the oppressive world she had survived.

Raigryn called 'cheat' but it was lost to the wind. He gave Fife fifty paces and held his distance and looked for the closest he could be before eatind that lead up.

 

[Fife]

Her pony's get-up-and-go was no rival for either Dusty's longer legs and Socks' own plumpness. They led for a while, only because she'd given herself a headstart or out of the mercy of the pair in pursuit. But when Raigryn turned Dusty loose after them, he had no issue catching up.

Which was just as well. Indretar came up much quicker upon their return, and Fife drew up Socks to a hopping trot. She sat in the saddle again and gave Raigryn a wild, windswept grin. Eased up to a walk, the pony was puffing from the effort. She leaned forward to pat his neck as they made their way to the stables at a much easier pace.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

A surprisingly comfortable silence followed them to the stables. Brushing the horses and stabling them wasn't accompanied by much introspection for Raigryn. This was a sudden step that he could barely describe, but was glad of. It didn't need further analysis. There were just furtive glances and lopsided smiles. She made him feel real joy, not just a relative of the aspect.

Food was different. It was a time to practise before their lesson. It was a dish of root vegetables in a broth today. Possibly the least spicy food they had eaten.

This is better for you? He asked, trying to switch mental gears. It had been easier, even if he had failed in two attempts at a silence day now.

 

[Fife]

Raigryn didn't break the silence of the stable, and neither did she. It had been such a good day, her face caught in a perpetual grin as she brushed Socks. She occasionally glanced his way, her smile met by his. A simple exchange, and all that was necessary.

Lunch was, thankfully, something with less heat. She wiggled in excitement in her seat, this being one of her more favorite meals here. Raigryn signed, practicing before their lesson, and Fife watched his hands before looking up with a smile.

Much better, she agreed, simply repeating the sign for "improvement" for emphasis. She didn't even know what the dish was called, but Fife would eat anything these people put in front of her. Food was food, and she was far from a picky eater.

She chewed on both thought and food for a moment, then set down her spoon.

What is your favorite color? It wasn't the questions she wanted to ask, but it was one that would require him to use some creativity in his answer. A lesson before a lesson, so to speak. She still caught onto the Silent Way much quicker than he did, and she was a kinder tutor than Maellarn was.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

It is red. The red that... Raigryn paused with his hands held above the table in front of him. He knew the basic colours, but not her beyond that.

Think of... He signed, going to his temple and sweeping across his chest.

My cloak but dark, he replied. It was as close to describing a deep but vibrant scarlet as he was going to get.

You?

 

[Fife]

Of course Raigryn liked red. He had that old red coat; it made sense. And a dark red. Fife imagined something rich and dark. A good color. She rather thought every color was a good one, though.

But her favorite? She'd expected the question back, but she still had to purse her lips in thought.

I really like pink. Clouds when the sun goes down. It was a very specific pink, very hard to find anywhere else. Some flowers came close, though. Small roses in Elbion, she added. That might have explained why she was hoarding the rose-scented soap.

Grinning, she thought for another moment before posing another question.

What is your favorite food? A trickier question.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

With even simple words she managed to put his description to shame. He had grasped at a way of answering instead of just thinking into the sign language. Fife knew all too well that he could talk endlessly. He would talk into a silence for a long time if he thought anyone was listening.

I like pork that has been on an open fire, with lots of salt and... Raigryn paused, lacking a sign for herbs.

With lots of vegetables, he added instead. You still miss dwarven meat cooked in a shell?

Raigryn actually grinned at his terrible attempt at describing a pie.

 

[Fife]

He did better with the food. Unsurprising. It had often been his first remarks when entering a town or familiar establishment. She knew more about his food preferences without needing to ask.

He only grinned at shell, but Fife actually laughed.

A shell? she repeated. Then sighed. It worked, she supposed. They didn't have a word for pie after all.

Yes. The one with pork back, crying knot, and red tree jewels, she responded. They didn't have words for bacon, onions, or apples either.

You ask one, she prompted, still smiling.

// Raigryn Vayd //​

 

[Raigryn Vayd]

"Red...tree...jewels...ah," Raigryn muttered. She was much more creative than him, but he could always fall back to speach. She could not.

How has Aretta been as a teacher recently? He asked her. It took a few seconds to form the question together and by the time he had signed it he had a better question to ask.