Private Tales Never A Dull Moment

A private roleplay only for those invited by the first writer

Kazar

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The journey towards Maraan was taking an obnoxiously long time. He was hired as a mercenary accompanying a trading caravan moving from one of the smaller Amol Kalit cities to Maraan. The chief merchant was a large and very needy woman that needed to stop to relieve her bladder every hour or so. Kaz was greatly regretting taking up the job, but the promise of coin was too great to ignore.

The sun was beating down on them as they crossed the barren lands leading towards the merchant city. There were boulders and canyons around them, but there was no green. Every now and then there was a brush of wind, but it always carried heat and seared the skin.

Kaz walked alongside the caravan, armed with his sword and multiple daggers on his person. The lower hemisphere of his face was concealed with a cloak that trailed behind him halfway down his back. His job was to keep an eye out for anyone attempting to rob the caravan and he mostly kept to himself.

They were stopped yet again as the merchant now wanted to stretch her legs and wander around. The part giant sighed and leaned against a cart, crossing his arms as he stared off in the distance.

Within moments, he heard a shrill cry and whipped around to look. One of the traders was lying dead nearby with an arrow protruding from his chest.

“Fuck,” Kaz grumbled, “Get on the other side of the wagons!” He shouted to the merchants that began to panic and scream.
 
The sun, the sand, the hot air, and, of course, the oasis were the reason many foreigners came to the Amol-Khalit. For others, it was the hum of magic, the thrill of finding hidden cities, and the pulse pounding excitement of discovering magical artifacts. Tess had come in search of what the locals called hajar altahn, or Mill Stones in basic Common. The stones were mysterious and enchanted, able to amplify or dampen botanical magic, or as Tess tended to refer to the niche arcana, 'Botania'. She'd set out for the badlands, even procured a local map of the region (which she was pretty sure was fake once she made it out into the desert), and roamed about with her dowsing rods attempting to find a hidden stone. Unfortunately, she'd not found a Mill Stone, but she had found a number of small trinkets naturally imbued from their proximity to ley lines, a broken sword lodged in a pile of rocks she found, a camel that bit her before running away, and a silver ring on a stick that she sincerely hoped wasn't a finger poking out of a crack in the stone.

And she found bandits. Lots and lots of bandits.

Which brought her mind to the present as she ran full tilt from said bandits. She spotted a convoy of, what she hoped wasn't more bandits, and bee lined it for potential safety. As arrows hissed and sank into the ground around her, she dodged a crevice in the dirt and hoped that the presence of an armed group of travelers was enough to dissuade the bandits from chasing her.

Unfortunately, before she could reach the convoy, she found what had to be the only root within ten miles, tripped over said root, and began to flip head over rear down the scree leading to the convoy and road. The upside was she kept a good hold of her hat and satchel bag despite careening down the slope end over end.

The downside was she'd hit a rock fairly solidly in the first five seconds and landed unconscious in a heap of rocks with a sound vaguely reminiscent of a sack of tubers dropped on the floor.

Kaz Dorvin
 
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“No, I will not go rescue your knitting supplies.”

“You, lower your fucking head or I’ll lob it off myself.”


Kaz felt increasingly hopeless with this group of absolute idiots. They took their time finding cover and half of them were sobbing helplessly while pretending to be invisible. The problematic ringleader merchant that had his money was nowhere to be seen. Well, if she had to empty her bladder, he was sure at least that was done by now.

The part giant unceremoniously stepped over yet another body of someone that saw fit to run in circles in panic before getting an arrow to the face. Kaz went around the wagon and called upon the magic he knew to focus on the earth before him. He haphazardly caused the land to rise up to act as a makeshift barrier from the incoming projectiles. He knew he would hold his own in close quarter combat, but he needed to draw the bandits closer.

It was then that he spotted a projectile hurtling towards them at top speed. Kaz’s jaw tightened as he turned his attention to it before he realized… what the hell? Eyes narrowed in a mixture of confusion and irritation, but he quickly looked back towards the bandits.

“Hey!” A little old lady shrieked from somewhere behind him, “Hey! Hey! That’s a poor little lass over there!”

Kaz’s gaze never shifted away from forward, “So? She’s not paying me. Keep your head down.”

He was perfectly content with leaving the lump of a woman on the ground as he focused on the bandits.

“HOW DARE YOU JUST LEAVE A POOR WOMAN OUT THERE!” Another woman joined in with the old lady, both of them now shrieking at the former soldier. It took every ounce of willpower not to turn and shut them up. He exhaled to calm himself before he rushed towards the useless lump on the ground.

He had applied the armored second skin with his geomancy to ward off against arrows. Kaz leaned down and easily tossed the small woman over his shoulder, even taking care to grab her stupid hat (he could already tell the woman would fuss if he didn’t).

Kaz rushed back and plopped the woman down next to the granny that was screeching about her. The Imperial glared at the older woman, “Find a way to wake her,” He stated firmly, “Nobody gets to take a nap right now.”

With that, he drew out his blade to engage the bandits that were coming in close.

Tess
 
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"FUGGINGUZZLEGANG- oh, wait," Tess had shot up and awake. Her dazed mind now absolutely certain she was not, yet again, in the clutches of the Guzzle Gang, a band of beer and ale thieving dwarves with a penchant for murdering their victims by slitting throats or drowning them in beer. That had been a harrowing, and headache inducing, two days before she'd managed to escape not one, but two attempted beer drownings.

Unfortunately, she had two problems. First and foremost, her vision was fuzzy yet again and another splitting headache told her she had another concussion. Second, the bandits were now attacking the convoy which was being defended by a big, muscular man who seemed to be shrugging off arrows.

Literally.

Tess watched as a feathered shaft shattered as it hit the man's broad back and frowned. Either the guy had some serious abilities, very thick skin, or she was hallucinating. In her experience, any one of those options was highly likely. Especially the last one.

Tess grabbed her hat, crammed it onto her head (which she immediately regretted), and dashed off to Tall Broad and Bulky while ignoring the cries of whoever it was that had started to try and protest her moving so soon. She successfully managed to do two things, neither of which was extremely helpful to anyone. First, she couldn't really see too well as double and triple vision and concussions often go hand in hand. Second, she ran face first into Mr Totally-a-Protein-Shake-Not-Steroids' thigh which sent her landing on her tush in the dirt.

She had just enough time to realize Mr Muscles was definitely packing some magical enhancements because the gout of blood from her nose, broken when impacting the large man, felt like she'd hit a solid brick wall. She also had just enough time to realize an arrow buzzed through the air and pinned her leg to the ground by her thigh, immediately sending the limb bleeding fairly steadily.

"Well, shit," came her only reply. The downside was she was now doubly injured. The upside was her concussed brain wasn't accurately registering the pain of an arrow impalement yet.

Kazar
 
Kazar worked quickly to face off against the bandits that all rushed towards him. Realizing that arrows were useless, they drew their swords and engaged him. It was then that it became quite obvious that Kazar was no ordinary mercenary. The way he wielded his blade with practiced precision and discipline betrayed his military origins.

He was only vaguely aware of something colliding against him, his blade sweeping horizontally right over where the woman’s head had been to parry against an attack. Kazar slammed his fist into the face of another bandit, cracking through the nose and cheekbone in one sweep. He only had moments left with his second skin and he had no intentions of wasting it.

Granny merchant, of course, was shrilly screaming in the background, deeply concerned for the young lass that rushed into the fray for no particular reason.

Kazar yanked his blade out of a dead man and glanced over to spot the woman again, now awake and with an arrow in her leg, “What are you doing?” He growled at her before the distraction cost him. Having given up on grazing him, one of the bandits slammed the hilt of his blade against the side of his head which he hadn’t armored up. The head was generally a smaller target and would unnecessarily tax him when the torso was more likely to catch arrows.

Kazar grunted in pain and took a few stumbling steps back as his vision blurred for a moment. He would need just a second to get back into the fight, but even a second was an eternity in combat.

Tess
 
"I'b helbingg!" Tess exclaimed through a bloody, broken nose. The pain in her leg from the arrow was beginning to hit and so was the blood loss. Sure, the human body had plenty and the arrow hadn't nicked an artery, but Tess was, after all, fairly smol and possessed the normal amount of blood for someone of her size, which was in turn a smol amount.

She didn't feel faint or as if she was about to pass out, but she was feeling a tad cold which was arguably worse considering they were, after all, in Amol-Khalit. She spotted Protein Shake take a blow to the head and decided now was probably the worst time to act, which meant it was go time.

Tess forced air out her nose until the wads of blood blocking them blew out, clearing her sinuses. Sure, it started the flow of blood again, but it was important to clear the airway so she wouldn't mess up an incantation or Word of Power.

Muttering under her breath and tasting straight iron, she held one hand up and suddenly shoved the other outward in a pushing motion. Suddenly, the bandits nearby shot backwards, hit with an invisible force. They landed on rears, heads, and rolled across the ground with the strength of the little mage's magic. Tess then swung both hands up over her head sharply, palms up in a wave motion with another word of power. The dust and sand around swirled up and around, blinding those around and hiding her and Mr Muscle from view for a moment.

"See? I helb!" she shouted, the blood in her nose clotting once more as she started to shiver from the cold.

Kazar
 
Kazar had someone rushing at him but watched them instead get tossed back by an invisible force. He whipped his head to look at the lump on the ground, a crimson waterfall pouring from her nose as she blabbered some incoherent words. She looked as if she were desperately close to taking another nap, and Kazar simply couldn’t afford that.

Being hidden from view and the bandits temporarily being knocked out granted him the opening he needed. Kazar quickly picked up the bow and arrows off a dead bandit, nocking and firing a few in rapid succession. This dropped the blind bandits and several of the ones that were knocked back.

Kazar didn’t wait to see what remained as he rushed back towards the caravan. He initially ran straight past the woman on the ground, heard granny screeching, and then ran right back.

With a less than pleased look on his face, he extended a hand to help her up. He knew right away that her standing up would be a process and he simply didn’t have the time. Kazar swept her right off her feet, carrying her back over to the caravan bridal style while he glared ahead of himself the entire time.

“You led them here,” He stated flatly under his breath so only she could hear. Nonetheless, she had helped in the scuffle and he was a man of somewhat honor.

He set her back down by granny. Kazar tore off a part of his cloak. He took his blade’s sheath and held the leather strap towards her face, “Bite down,” Kazar said nothing else before he yanked the arrow out of her leg. He took a flask from his hip and poured alcohol on the wound before using the bit of his cloak to tightly wrap up the wound. He looked thoroughly irritated the entire time, not even bothering to make eye contact with the insufferable woman that made this day that much worse.

Tess
 
Protein Shake dispatched a number of bandits before abandoning her as he fell back to the caravan. Tess was used to that, people tended to grow tired of her personality (thought she wasn't sure why, exactly), though for her this was a new speed record. She hadn't even said more than maybe a handful of words to the guy, though to be fair a bandit attack wasn't the best place for a meet and greet.

Then he was back and, not caring that her leg was technically pinned to the ground with a rather sharp, pointy object, yanked her up and into his arms. She figured that kind of move would have been romantic if not for the fact she literally knew him for all of maybe thirty seconds, but she never really coalesced the thought as the pain from the arrow being tugged around when Protein Shake lifted her up caused her to black out.

Fortunately, she couldn't have been out longer than a second because she came to still in his arms as he carried her back to the caravan. Unfortunately, he was clearly Not Happy with her from his muttered accusation.

"No, dey chased be heer!" she responded, her nose clogged with blood again as she fought to ignore the worst of the pain in her leg. "I juss ran and heer I amb!"

Next thing she knew he'd put her down, people were clambering all around, and suddenly there was leather in her mouth.

"Bide down? Wh-YEEAAAAARGHHH!!"

She wasn't sure which hurt more: the alcohol suddenly dumped on the wound or the fact that Protein Shake's battlefield medical skills would make a goblin healer concerned. Now they were putting pressure and putting on tight bandages and who knew what else.

"Bag! Lemme ged by bag! I'mb fine, I juss need by bag, dambit!"

Kazar
 
Was this woman seriously sitting here judging his first aid skills? The glare he gave her burned hotter than the sun beating down on them. Nevertheless, he wordlessly grabbed her bag from Granny’s hands and tossed it unceremoniously at the woman. What a waste of liquor from his flask.

Kazar stepped away from the woman and looked around, “Everyone back on the wagons!” Everyone was terrified and people were sobbing uncontrollably, but he had little patience for it. The Imperial barked orders till everyone was back in place. He even managed to find the head merchant cowering under one of the wagons, definitely having emptied her bladder in all her fine clothes. She was given no chance to change, Kazar’s patience having run out. Sobbing, she walked over and plopped herself next to the man urging the camels along.

After a lot of yelling and complaining, the caravan was finally underway. As before, Kazar didn’t ride on it, walking alongside with his blade at his hip. He ensured he walked near where the woman was just in case she suddenly turned on them.

“We are going to Maraan,” Granny said next to the woman, “What’s your name, dearie?” She reached over with her shawl to help wipe some of the blood off the woman. After that, she opened up a box of homemade fruit snacks for her to take.

Kazar glanced over briefly at this, rolled his eyes, and looked forward again as his long strides took him alongside them.

Tess
 
Tess scrabbled for her bag, ripping open the flap and immediately digging around inside. She somehow disappeared up to her shoulders into the bag despite its modest size, muttering quietly to herself as she searched. After a moment, she popped back up, a pair of flasks in one hand and a tiny ball of clay between two fingers in the other. She opened one flask, tossed the ball in, and then shook the thing until the clay disappeared, turning the fluid from clear to muddy brown. She then downed the whole thing in one go with a grimace, coughing and gagging after swallowing, though somehow keeping the concoction down which, if anyone asked her (and no one did), was an achievement in itself.

She then popped the cork off the second flask and, removing the bandages which set the wound in her leg bleeding again, dumped the blue fluid onto her leg. As the liquid hit blood and flesh, it sizzled with a quiet frying nose akin to fresh bacon on a skillet. Disconcerting as it was, the fluid numbed her leg, stopped the bleeding, and she immediately felt much better, though not quite as good as she would with a tankard of six of decent ale to go with everything.

Now medically stabilized despite Protein Shake's best efforts, Tess could turn her attention on to other things. Namely, removing the blood from her face and clothes and allowing herself to be placed on a wagon. Now properly stabilized and riding in comfort (two things that usually never happened at the same time, now that she thought on it a moment), she turned her mind to the most important thing at the moment: the offered snacks. Sure, the old lady was creepy, overbearing, and had a screech any banshee would be ill with jealousy to possess, but Tess could forgive that and the prying questions with the proper amount of leverage. In this case, dried fruit.

"'m Tess," she said through a mouthful of apricots. Or at least she thought they were apricots. She quietly hoped they were plums as, despite her love of plums, they didn't agree with her whatsoever and no magical remedy so far had cured her when she'd eaten plums, though if she were honest, she hadn't much tried outside the one time the potion turned her hair green and she woke up five weeks later in a tree a few thousand miles away. "'ho's Tall Dark and Grumpy?"

Kazar
 
The merchants sitting near Tess watched with eyes as big as saucers as she pulled out random flasks and oddities. Granny gave one of her high pitched shrieks as Tess’s skin sizzled from her efforts, earning yet another glare from Kazar. Nevertheless, she was very thrilled that the young woman was okay and she gave her a grin with about four teeth.

“Oh you are such a beauty,” She said after Tess had cleared up her face a bit, “What were you doing out here all alone?” Granny offered more snacks, now something that looked like candies that had been sitting around for as long as she had been alive.

Granny followed Tess’s glance towards the man walking alongside the caravan, “Oh he hasn’t told us his name, dearie, but he’s here to protect us. We call him Barnabus after my lost grandson,” She nodded emphatically, "Doesn't he look like a Barnabus?"

Kazar pointedly ignored the conversation, keeping his pace and gaze focused ahead.

At some point, a person brought out a lute and began to strum. He sang a song, but it was horribly off key. It was intended to be a dirge to the fallen, but the tone deaf singing made it near impossible to take it seriously.

Kazar stepped a bit closer to the caravan as he walked. He was entirely keen on hearing this woman’s backstory as Granny probed her with questions. He needed to know if she were some sort of spy or problem. Her skills with magic had potential for disaster.

Tess
 
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"'m a mage," Tess responded, stuffing her face. Somewhere inside her skull, her brain notified her that she'd not eaten in at least four days, which is probably why the desiccated fruit treats were currently the most delicious things she'd ever tasted. Her lack of eating was less due to lack of supplies and more due to her one track mind searching for Mill Stones. "'m lookin' for magical items. A Mill Stone, mainly. Uh... I think people out here call 'em hajar altahn?"

Her skill with other languages was about the same as her talent with necromancy. Namely, she wielded it like a drunk, blind man did a two handed club made of solid iron in a dark pottery warehouse. Nothing but migraines, arrest warrants, and awkward questions ever came of the attempts.

As to the big man's name, she chewed thoughtfully as she looked him up and down. Protein Shake was a big man, but it wasn't his height that caught her attention. He used magic which, on its own wasn't a big deal all in all, but specifically earth magic, known in her trade (if she even had a trade, really) as geomancy. Skin hardening was difficult to do unless you were very practiced and specialized in using that particular spell or had an innate talent for that spectrum of magic. Toss in the overly broad shoulders, chiseled abs (the same ones that bruised her hip as he carried her around earlier), a face made of stone, and overall grumpiness and she could take a shot in the dark.

"... Yer a half-giant, ain'cha?"

Kazar
 
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“Ooooh!” Granny said excitedly, “Can you do fun tricks? Make rabbits pop out of a hat? Turn water to wine?” She giggled to herself as if she were the funniest thing ever. There was a curious look on her face as Tess kept talking, “What’s a mill stone, deary?”

If Kazar heard Tess’s question he gave no initial indication of it. He quietly walked alongside the caravan as Granny offered Tess a new box of food. These appeared to be smooshed sandwiches that were probably sat on at some point.

“What gave it away?” Kaz said with his voice dripping sarcasm after a while. He didn’t bother to turn and look at her. He was perfectly content with walking the entire way, generally used to marching long distances as part of a military unit.

"You ought to be paying me if I have to watch your ass too," He grumbled more to himself, though it would be audible for her.

Tess
 
"Er, they help mages with plant magic," Tess was used to the usual gamut of questions ranging from the tricks she could perform to what potions she could whip up to help someone's husband with their blood flow, though the old lady was definitely in her top ten list of most inquisitive questioners. Probably around number five or six right below the runny-nosed kid from Alliria who followed her around for four days asking if he could wear her hat a moment.

She paused answering Inquisitor Granny a moment and shifted her mind over to food and Protein Shake's question. The sarcasm was so thick Tess was almost tempted to see if she could use it to get the slightly-stale taste out of the sandwiches she dug into with muted glee. The dried fruit - definitely apricots as her gut had yet to rebel and rumble - was tasty and delicious, but far from totally filling and she devoured two sandwiches before biting into a third and answering.

"'s th' 'Eomanshy," she said through a mouthful of bread and what she distantly hoped was meat. She gulped down the bite, polishing off the sandwich, and reached for another. "You don't see that much. At least, not used like that. Most mages just use it to fling rocks at each other or build. Y'know, mundane stuff. Warrior mages using geomancy as armor? Kind of a giant trick. Half-giant, too. Nomad tribes out here learned it from them and sometimes you'll see 'em use it, but that kind of use is definitely Giant based. Toss in that your shoulder span is as wide as I am tall and that you could probably crack a walnut with your armpit and it ain't that hard to take a confident guess."

Suddenly, she realized here she was in a caravan that had rescued her, fed her, and, aside from Inquisitor Granny pestering her with questions, done so despite everyone here paying their way. The epiphany hit as Protein Shake muttered and sulked which meant the comment went entirely in one ear and out the other. Jolted into action by her brain suddenly shifting from a nice, easy low gear and into a reckless and (potentially) dangerous gallop, she ripped open her bag and shoved her arms and head in, her hands digging around as she muttered words of power under her breath.

Kazar