Private Tales Honour Is Dead

[Lachlan Irwin]

He didn't want to see her.

Ashamed of what he had done had now come to bite him in the arse as he now was being punished by his Nana.

"You will not end up like him." She said with murderous intent.

It had only been a few days since news reached Lachlan after graduation that his father has passed. Had drank himself to ruin and fell into the canals of Vel Redynne. Lachlan had already thought he died years back after he stopped contacting his only son, or so it was believed but Lach knew his father probably fathered more bastards than just him. But Lachlan survived against all odds and his Nana knew he would be different. He had the family magic, was worthy of keeping the family afloat...

Until he did become like his father. Flirting and sleeping with any girl, until one girl was before him.

Heidi. Kress, she was a beauty he could not fathom, and yet she existed. He fell hard, had wanted to be better for her... but it wasn't always smooth sailing. She was rocky waters, and Lachlan was a seasoned sailor but was unprepared for her seas. It exhilarated him, but then when things were turning for the better, he had to leave for the Academy. They kept in touch, but it was not enough. She had been the only good in his life and without her present, he fell back into the trap of following the footsteps of his father.

And then he ruined that Urahil girl. Had bragged about it, and word reached his Nana. After a week of travelling to meet Felix Urahil, Dawn Irwin came away with a marriage arrangement between Odessa and Lachlan, and now after knowing for two weeks, he had to be dressed and preened to perfection for they were to attend a ball put on by a merchant family known for their extravagant soirees.

Lachlan waited outside for the Urahil carriage, dressed in the emerald green and black embroidery on his vest. He had ditched his dinner jacket ages ago, the evening too warm for it, but still, the tall blonde Third Level Dreadlord looked handsome and perfect, his Nana was sure he would behave this night.

 

[Odessa]

A letter.

It started with a fucking letter.

A letter sent by Felix, showing that he truly did not even have the decency to speak to her in person to let her know that she was to wed Lachlan Irwin. A man she, for lack of better words, hated. An incompetent brute with no brain in his fucking skull who seemed more keen on pushing every wrong button than doing anything productive with his life.

Making it all even worse was her brother, Leander, who supported this arrangement. Another coward, just like Felix, who was too afraid to tell her to her face. Completely content on selling her off to the highest bidder. And for reasons no one had even explained to her.

Her anger was palpable, and both men knew to steer clear of her as returned to the estate after graduation. Hostile was an understatement. Odessa was more than ready to rip their heads off of their pathetic bodies. Leander could certainly nullify her magic, but she was still a trained killer and had there not been a lock on the outside of her door the two of them may have had to take shifts in their sleeping schedules to ensure they both survive each night.

Even Oraya, her sister, and Perrine, her cousin, were not clear of her wrath. The two of them had neither supported nor opposed the marriage it seemed. Perfectly neutral. Still an act of betrayal, which Odessa had made quite clear in her refusal to speak to a single person under the roof. Every meal, every meeting- Odessa had refused to attend for weeks. The girl was no more than skin and bones despite servants leaving food for her. Untouched. It didn’t matter to her. She couldn’t feel the hunger pains nor the weakness of her body.

She only saw red.

They thought she might be coming around when she spoke to servants and requested some alone time in the gardens. However, they would be on high alert shortly after when she seemingly disappeared, running off with one of the family’s horses. Pissed off and with a plan, she had to speak to Rhidian. One last time to explain her story. Beg him to help her- save her from a life she did not want. He’d all but become a literal ghost when the pair read that letter together. As though she had been unfaithful to whatever had become of the two of them and this wedding, Lachlan, was something she desired.

Hours on horseback during a summer thunderstorm, Odessa arrived on a familiar doorstep just after midnight. Eyes burning with an icy blue death behind them and tears cascading down her cheeks, she pounded on the door. Over and over. Torches were lit inside- he was there- but he refused to answer her pleas. A coward just like Felix. Just like Leander.

A coward that let her screams and cries blend into the night like a haunting melody of the love they once had for each other. The love she still had for him. And as the family guards pulled her away, splinters under her nails as she gripped the door and blood coating her knees as they scraped against the cobblestone, she promised him one thing.

She would be back for him.

For Felix. For Leander. For fucking Lachlan. And Rhidian.

Odessa would be no man’s peace.

---

She kept the ring on, letting herself feel the pains in her torn flesh as her wounds slowly began to heal. She did not bother to clean the blood and dirt from under her nails, pulling her hands away as she was dolled up by maids for an event she did not want to attend. The first of many, she supposed, with Lachlan by her side.

Eventually, she was ushered off into a carriage. Her dress was deep navy. She was decorated in gold jewelry that did not compliment her ashen skin. A platinum ring occupied the space on her finger where an engagement ring would be. This, however, was no such ring. It was the one Rhidian had made for her in order for her to feel. She liked how badly everything hurt. It was a distraction that kept her occupied while she rode off in her family carriage.

The carriage came to a halt and the door was opened to reveal him. She did not say a word, she only let her eyes lazily scan him before she turned her attention to her nails. The driver sighed and all but pried the Urahil girl out of the carriage and placed her beside Lachlan before bidding his own farewell.

Odessa stared straight ahead. She wondered if Leander and his fiancée hated each other as much as she hated hers.

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

He had to stifle his sigh. Showing his impatience, his unwillingness to be present here would only cause her to drag her feet some more, and he had liked being ignorant of her snobbish countenance.

She did not look at him, but there were eyes on them. Lachlan rounded before her, offering her the most polite smile before bowing before her. His blonde curls fell out of place, but that would be corrected as he ran a hand through it. "Shall we get this evening over with?"

They had to speak. He did not care if she grunted, shrugged, said one word, or even sigh and take his offered arm, he merely wanted to get inside and play happy couple for an hour before having to excuse himself for the rest of the evening. He could do that, as he never was part of this society, and lacked some of the etiquette his future bride's cousin had tried to instil in the Initiates.

 

[Odessa]

Her scowl, for once, was notably absent but it seemed that any emotion was also gone. Her expression had been willed into something cold and unreadable, absent, and aloof the moment he extended an arm to her. Stepping closer to him, he could see that her eyes were red rimmed. She had been crying. He could see how broken she looked up close. He could see the colors that had been painted onto her face with makeup to hide her lack of color. She did not hide that she was willingly starving herself and refusing to let the wounds on her body heal thanks to that ring on her finger. She supposed she should have thanked Rhidian for a way out before he disappeared.

Lachlan seemed more eager to play the happy couple, but Odessa saw no point. No one could save her from this even if she begged them on her hands and knees. As much as she hated to acknowledge it, plenty of the nobility did not marry for love and lived shockingly unhappy and lonely lives.

She looked at his offered arm and, after a moment of contemplation, accepted it. Still, she refused to say a word to him. She hadn't even noticed that she hadn't spoken to him once since their mission. There was nothing worth speaking of with him.

She would, however, not turn down a drink or two with the other nobles if they offered. A benefit of her ring was that it allowed her to feel the effects of alcohol. Something she found herself enjoying more these days.

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

He could not help a light scoff.

Right. She always seemed a little righteous, didn't she? He thought to himself.

She had taken his arm with no complaint, and to his benefit, Lachlan gave her a smile and led them forward.

The ballroom was large, but only to his expectations. It was nowhere near enough to be grand, but oh boy were merchants free with their money. Every expense was not made cheap, and all the details reflected gold and the glimmer of diamonds. Delicate and delectable food were being passed out on trays, and the chalices holding wine were all made from crystal.

Lachlan did not know this crowd. His years at the Academy were one thing to get acquainted with his peers, but beyond that, he didn't think he would have to remember names or faces after graduation. He had returned to Vel Odren, operating as a Dreadlord in the reserves and hoped to make things right with Heidi, but now here he was.

Soon, he would be tied to a world that often spent time in rooms like this. Odessa was to be made an Irwin, but that did not mean they would be exempt from the obligations of a Urahil.

"Would you like to eat, Odessa?" Saying her name felt wrong.

 

[Odessa]

The entered the ballroom and the tension was palpable between the pair. Odessa kept her gaze firmly locked ahead, lips pressed into a thin line when faking a smile grew too tiresome. The lights glittered over the guests, dressed in elegant attire that she she knew her sister would have loved to see. Soft music in the background did nothing to ease the wall she had placed between them.

Many of them knew her (or rather the Urahil features that defined her), but not Lachlan, and were quick to extend congratulations to the happy couple. She nodded in acknowledgement, sometimes offering a quiet thank you, but she did not continue any conversation beyond that.

Would you like to eat, Odessa?

She didn't respond, didn't even turn her head at the sound of his voice. Her hands clenched tightly, knuckles turning even more while than usual as she stared straight ahead. That was one of the last things he said to her before they parted ways the first time- him arguing that she had to eat because he didn't trust her not to pass out during a fight. Anger and resentment churned in her stomach as memories from that night loomed over her like a suffocating shadow.

He sounded like he might speak again, but she cut him off.

"No." Her voice was sharp, her icy eyes burning as she finally turned to look at him. "I'm going to get a drink." She began to walk away, intent to reach the refreshments so that she might drown herself in drink instead of the bitterness she felt in his presence.

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

Well fuck.

He didn't want to be in this situation but was putting on a brave face and making the best of it. He was still to hear from Heidi about this engagement of his, but she had been rather quiet as of late. This only would complicate things for them, but he was willing to do his duty and pay the price for even fucking Odessa in the first place.

But she could not help herself.

He watched her walk away, eyes spearing into her back until he took in a deep breath in and followed her.

"Odessa." He tried to hide the grimace at using her name. "I am trying here. The least we can do is be cordial until I can figure out how to get out of this. Really... it's your family that could put an end to this since the Urahils will not lose anything by breaking the engagement." His family had a lot to lose, but they were able to get back on their feet with little resilience.

And all he could expect was her being a bitch in response, just like she had been at the Academy.

But once, once he had seen her not be a bitch to him as she kneeled before him.

 

[Odessa]

Odessa flinched, her body stiffening for a moment before she was able to force a heavy sigh and release the tension that filled her any time he said her name. It somehow filled her with more dread than all of the times he simply called her 'Urahil'. The version of him that did not try to pretend, to hide his disdain for the girl. The version of him that was more than delighted to use her and toss her aside like everyone else.

She picked up a flute of champagne and sipped, visibly recoiling at the way it felt on her tongue.

"Trying what?" She cursed herself for giving in so easily, wasting her precious time and hoarse voice to talk to him. But there were people at the drink table, eyeing the two. A woman uttered a congratulations that Odessa wanted to hurt her for.

She turned her attention back to Lachlan and looked up at him. Up close, he could see how broken she looked hidden behind dark kohl painted around her eyes. But like her family, he probably didn't care. He probably preferred this mask as well. "My opinion means as much to my family as a donkey's." She set the empty glass down and picked up a second. "You could have said no at any time, but you must be well aware that I do not have such a luxury."

The second glass was going down easier, thank Kress.

"I still haven't a clue why anyone would arrange such an absurd marriage between two people who hate one another. Is my family giving yours money? In exchange for what? Getting rid of the girl they don't favor? The girl who was meant to remain alone?" She spilled more words than she had wished to, quoting Lachlan from the night they spent together at the manor. It felt like a relief when she was no longer holding onto them.

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

Trying.

He was trying to not embarrass her in front of all these people by leaving. By not showing up.

Her words were venom, seeping into him and triggering something inside him. She was right. He could not stand her, even as guilty as he felt for treating her like he did, Lachlan could not bring himself to be happy standing there and watched her drink.

Insolent little bitch.

"Alright. Take me to see your brother and I can have a wee little chat with him." His face betrayed nothing, and if he had to say those words in order not to hear her annoying complaints again, he'd say it all again. "Let us settle this now, and then you can suffer the gossip and scrutiny as the rumour continues to spread."

Marriage was the only way to keep the Urahils in good light.

 

[Odessa]

"You've said nothing to him in all this time," She hissed, her voice barely more than a whisper. Her words were only meant for his ears. "You have had all this time and now you're willing to try to stop this sham of a marriage?" Her heart filled with anger and helplessness, but she knew deep down that Lachlan's words meant little more than her own when it came to Felix. Still, she had wished for something. Some sign that he had fought this- even if only to help himself out.

She was told to smile politely. She was never asked to be content, but she was instructed to accept what they had done. But no one had said a thing to her. Rumors? She had no knowledge of rumors and gossip pertaining to her. She was the unwanted Urahil, Lachlan made that clear enough. She had always been a disappointment that no one spoke about.

She looked up at him. Her eyes, like shards of ice burning with her inner fire, lingered on his hazel. "What rumors?" She demanded, still in a hushed tone. "What the fuck did you do, Irwin?"

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

"I have had three days, Odessa." Lachlan's jaw stiffened. "I had other things to tend to that required my attention than crying over being engaged to you."

Heidi deserved to hear it from him. To grieve with him about his future, and how difficult it was that it all stemmed from a mistake he made back in the Academy.

"Rumours about how the Urahil daughter could not keep her legs closed." He looked at her, no amusement in his eyes. "Boys talk, Urahil. And when your boy Rhidian heard, he was eager to fight over what I did. Word got back to your brother from a close source, one he trusts."

That was all his Nana had been told when the letter came for her. He thought her crazy when she told him she would offer him to marry the youngest Urahil daughter to compensate any of these rumours. "Felix wants us to say we have been together since the Academy to save your reputation, and say that the Vaughn boy was jealous and made up that he slept with you. He also sent some men to beat him a little." That part he knew only because the Urahil heir had asked of Nana to pick her most trusted men to do so.

Lachlan snatched the next drink Odessa meant to take for herself, lifting it to his lips. "I rather keep my life than to disagree with your brother, truly. Not all of us can come back from the dead."

 

[Odessa]

Rumors about how the Urahil daughter could not keep her legs closed. Boys talk, Urahil....

Odessa's stomach twisted violently, each word hurting her worse than any weapon ever had. The room, so full of life, suddenly felt stifling, the air thick and suffocating. Whatever remnant of color still lurked on her skin drained at the mention of Rhidian's fate.

It made sense suddenly- why he had not spoken to her once since the letter arrived. Why even as she begged on her hands and knees, knowing he was just behind the door, he ignored her and let her humiliate herself.

Her face shifted, turning to little more than a blank slate. A mask to hide her inner turmoil, betraying her only if Lachlan looked into her watering eyes or the tremor in her lips. She became acutely aware of their surroundings- the music shifted to a waltz as some moved to dance. Others, lingered by the table as the eavesdropped on the hushed conversation.

Odessa dropped her hand, which had been outstretched since he took her drink, and balled her fists at her sides until her nails dug into her skin and the pain could anchor her to the moment.

Boys talk...

"No. You talked." She whispered, replacing the drink he took from her, if only to avoid looking in his direction. "You were the only person who knew. I hadn't told a soul."

She wanted to kill him. She wanted to shatter that stupid glass and shove the shards into his eyes. She wanted to grab the blade strapped to her thigh and stick it in his throat, to shove him onto the table and put that blade in his chest over and over until there was nothing left of him.

But she couldn't bring herself to do any of it.

Without another word, Odessa turned away and walked towards the door. She weaved in and out of groups of people even though she was sure he wouldn't follow her. She would not cry in front of them, in front of him. Her footsteps echoed in the empty corridors as she searched for a door to the gardens.

She had been here before, she remembered the massive maze of rosebushes and how easily one could get lost in them. So she chose to go there until she was sure she was alone. And she cried, finally cried the loud gasping sobs that had been pushing to come out for days as she picked the roses from the bush and let the thorns pierce her fingers and spill blood down her palms.

 

[Catherine Urahil]

The boy had began to move after her cousin, but within two steps, Catherine came into view and stopped Lachlan in his tracks.

"Allow me." She smiled. That smile was one she learned from Felix, the cousin that had watched out for her as if she were his sister and not a distant cousin. Her ability to turn invisible had been coveted, and Catherine had been granted to grow up knowing they both could work to the future of the Urahils.

Power came from information, and information came from being unseen.

She had followed Odessa with a calmness, having met her cousin once, briefly, at a family dinner.

"You know Felix would never have you killed, Odessa." She began, almost a coo. "You still have value, no matter how discounted you make yourself be."

 

[Odessa]

Odessa grasped another rose by the stem, barely flinching as the thorns pricked her skin. It was welcome, the sharp sting. A welcome distraction, a small relief from the turmoil brewing inside her. Her pale fingers were stained with her blood, and she continued to press harder.

She needed to feel something other than the pain in her chest, the crushing weight of everything. She needed something to ground her when everything else was falling into pieces. Gods, she much preferred to feel pain than to slice at her numb flesh.

A voice broke through her haze of pain and she barely turned to look at the girl speaking to her. A cousin of hers. She recalled the name Catherine but even if she hadn't, there was no mistaking a Urahil.

Another Urahil who did not protest when her brother forced her into this sham of an engagement. Another Urahil that Odessa would never forgive.

"Did he send you here to watch me?" She questioned, her voice broken and hoarse. "To make sure I didn't make a fool out of him when Lachlan told me why I am being forced into this horrible arrangement? What do you want? What does he want?" Odessa dropped the rose.

 

[Catherine Urahil]

Perhaps dangerous, Catherine snorted delicately. An art perfected over the years of grooming herself to be an advantageous match for the future. Dressed just as elegantly a Urahil was expected to be, she wandered a little ways to the left and stared out to the gardens with critical appraising of the imagery of flowers in bloom and fruit trees and greenery.

"Yes, he did." Her voice was matter-of-fact, quick to confirm the accusatory tone her cousin regarded her with. "Because the Irwins are a family that have connections all over Vel Anir and Cortos. Richer than they appear, but no, not noble standing. The idea that you and him are already... familiar with one another makes this an advantageous match to secure their favour. And with your dowry, it should certainly placate your husband-to-be."

And which family would refuse the Urahils?

"You need to make this work in order to get the attention of Felix. Play nicely, and perhaps you can get out of this yourself." Cat turned to stare blankly at the younger woman. "Stop relying on others to fight for you, Odessa."

 

[Odessa]

"So that's what this is all about...money? Does my greedy bastard of a brother not have enough anymore?" Odessa should have been more careful to select her words. Gods knew Felix could hear everything, even when he was nowhere to be seen...all because of his little Catherine. "I was 'familiar' with Rhidian, Catherine. My brothers complained endlessly that I had no suitors. But Rhidian and I..."

She felt the tears coming back. Tipping her head back to stare at the sky, she forced them to stop before they began. "I loved him. He was first. I chose Rhidian. And Felix hurt him because Lachlan was loud and obnoxious and had money." She didn't want Felix's attention. She wanted to run away with Rhidian and leave the Urahil name.

Odessa took a heavy breath and released it. "How can I get out of a marriage?" There was no use being vulnerable in front of Felix's prized possession. "I'm so lost."

 

[Catherine Urahil]

"Well, you could kill your betrothed. Deny Felix his opportunity to grow his power over Vel Anir, or... you could play the game and be a good wife, until one day you can take all the land and title from your husband." Cat inspected her nails as she spoke. There was a certain lack of emotion of empathy in her voice, as if she truly did not care which direction her cousin would take with this predicament.

"Or you could do as you are expected and once you provide him with heirs, you can hope that he is the type of husband to leave you be and focus on his sons. Train them up for their futures." Cat dropped her hand to smooth her dress. It was dark gold, plain but the cut and shape of it was sharp which matched the Spy perfectly with her blunt cut of blonde hair grazing her shoulders. "Three Urahil weddings this season. Felix has plans for us all."

And Catherine was part of this plan too. She was here as a debutante, catching the eyes of whomever wished to snag themselves a Urahil for prize.

 

[Odessa]

"Provide him with heirs? Sons?" Odessa nearly spat at her cousin, stopping herself only when she remembered that Felix coveted her more than any other Urahil and she could spin their discussion any way she wanted. It was a power game and it seemed every Urahil longed for it in some capacity. All except Odessa, who wished more than anything that she had not been unfortunate enough to bleed the same blood as them.

Rhidian had given her vulnerability. He'd given her the power of not having any power. And he'd been taken away.

She wondered what Lachlan had told him, what everyone had heard about her when he chose to brag and spread a lie that he hadn't even known was a lie until Rhidian had called him out. The thought of bearing his children made something in her gut twist. "I can't do that." She stated, twisting that ring on her finger that allowed her to bleed when she pricked her fingertips.

I can't do that.

Catherine would likely interpret her statement as 'I won't', but a moment of true vulnerability from Odessa was rare. So rare, that the truth in her statement would probably have been overlooked anyway. After all, Odessa had always been the most closed off of the family's main branch. Betraying Felix was a death sentence, but if siring heirs was her only opportunity to maybe have a chance at happiness, then Odessa was no better off.

She couldn't do it. It was not possible.

She was a weapon. Her body, a hostile vessel that always returns to the same state it was in. Isolde had known it. Perrine had probably realized it, too, since the pair of them seemed to share so many of the same powers. She could not bear children in her body that refused to adapt to change.

"Maybe it will be four Urahil weddings if you go back to the ball," Odessa not-so-subtly hinted that Catherine had overstayed her welcome, and that she wished to remain alone until this event was over and she could go back to her family's estate. Still, she offered a small smile that contrasted her icy, tear-filled eyes. "Go on, go mingle."

 

[Catherine Urahil]

Cat gave her a feline smile.

"And I should hope you join me, cousin, for I am here to keep watch on you as I am here to display myself and the Urahil prowess."

But the blonde woman sunk into the perfect curtsy. Turning away just as Lachlan rounded the corner.

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

Lachie turned his head to watch the other woman take her leave, but when he faced Odessa, his brows creased into a furrow. "Relative?"

He did not approach her. To do so without testing the waters was foolish. "Odessa, I wish to apologise." The blonde brute sighed, the front of his shirt flexing from the movement. "Start again, on better terms. More... understanding. I know... this isn't what you want, and it is not mine either. But until we figure a way out, we should do the courtesy to our families of being cordial, no?"

Lachlan held out a hand. It was hesitant, but that was his way of testing the waters. Allowing her to come to him on her own terms.

 

[Odessa]

She did not respond to Catherine, did not turn to watch her leave.

His voice made her flinch and only then did she look up from her bloodied palms, though her gaze was distant and focused where the other Urahil had scurried off to. She nodded, "my cousin." As if it weren't obvious from the shade of their hair or the near identical features they shared. "Catherine."

When he spoke again Odessa's eyes shifted over to him, carefully observing every move he made. The apology had not been expected. It sounded wrong coming from his mouth. She wondered if someone had forced him to say those words after she'd fled the ball. But every option that had been laid out for her led to nothing but her own failure. She would never have Rhidian back in her arms. She was a ruined woman now.

Anger and humiliation were emotions she'd never felt so strongly before.

"I don't know if I can just pretend that everything is fine." She admitted, her eyes drifting down to the extended hand and then behind him where she could still hear the music. "Everything has been taken from me because of my family. Because of you. I have no more choices of my own. I am listening if you have any ideas on how to get out of this, but if you have nothing, then the least you can do is try to not make this worse." And if he couldn't get them out of this, she hoped death was just a peaceful with the ring on her finger.

She extended a hand of her own, her bloodied palm meeting his. Her flesh stung at the contact, but she remained silent as she stood with his aid. Odessa paused, "I don't want to go back inside."

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

Lachlan sighed as he helped her up, standing before her and giving her a weak smile.

"I don't want this either, but I rather live than be murdered by your brother. At least you get to come back from it." There was too much to leave behind, and Lachie knew his family counted on him to make things right. The fact that he was lucky enough to be marrying into the Urahil family meant his Nana would be taken care of financially if business ever stopped operating.

"Right, we don't need to return so soon... perhaps we can go for a walk?" He tugged her along with him as he began to walk backwards, pulling her by the hand he did not let go of just yet. In order to ensure that she was following, that she was in this with him to figure out, he needed her at his side. "What if I were to give you freedoms if we marry? I was planning to go into the reserves so that I could get a feel for the family business, help my cousins and my Nana manage operations... what is it that you would like to do? You paint, don't you?"

Lachlan clicked his tongue. "Wait, no, that was the Proctor... but if you had interests, hobbies, I would be happy to see you have uninterrupted time doing so."

 

[Odessa]

At least you get to come back from it.

"Mhm." Her smiled was pained, forced, at the mention of her eternal curse. Lachlan's warm, callused hand held the one which wore the ring which granted her a way out. A permanent end to her suffering. Even if it had to be at the hands of Felix, Odessa wasn't sure she cared all that much. "I'm not sure that is a positive thing..."

He didn't have to pull her so hard to ensure she wouldn't run off into the night, but she didn't say anything about it. Maybe she wasn't ready to let go yet. "A walk sounds nice. The gardens here are massive. Leander and I gave Oraya, my eldest sister, a heart attack any time father and Felix had been stupid enough to bring children along." She was giving him a morsel of honesty, giving it to herself as well. It seemed they both had plans for the reserves, though Odessa had planned to use her time with Rhidian.

Her chest ached at the plans that never would be. When she looked back, he'd been asking about hobbies. "Correct, Perrine is the one who enjoys painting." She corrected him, amusement lurking somewhere in the eyes with kohl smudged beneath them. "When we were younger, she used to add elf ears to paintings of Leander to make him cry."

Truthfully, Odessa was unsure of how to answer his question. She'd been at the academy since four years of age. That had been the closest thing she had to a hobby in childhood. Not that hobbies and interests seemed to matter all that much when she hadn't been able to feel or regulate any emotion until recently. She supposed hurting herself and getting drunk counted little more than training, so she chose the one thing that had brought her quite a bit of joy in the recent months. So she blurted it out and immediately regretted how stupid it sounded. "Eating."

It sounded even worse out loud than it did in her head. "I have recently discovered that I quite enjoy food. Though I don't suppose it counts as a hobby." Nor did her new interest show in her frame that seemed even more frail than when Lachlan and Odessa last spoke.

She searched to distract him from her abysmal lack of enjoyment in life with a question of her own. "Am I to have my own room when we are married?" She did not look to his eyes as she spoke, her gaze now focused on the bubbling little fountain they walked past.

 

[Lachlan Irwin]

Lachlan looked to Odessa with surprise. Gently, he released her hand and took to brushing his hand against the drooping palm frond in their way as they navigated the gardens some more, not at all in a rush to return to the party they both did not wish to attend. "Well... it could be a hobby if you make it one. Learning to cook, or even cake decorating..." He tried to be helpful, nice, pleasant, in order to make this work between them.

And this version of Odessa was one he had never seen this side of. If this was what she was like away from people, then perhaps this may... work.

"I think it is best." He answered, pausing at a turn and allowing her to turn into the path first before following closely. "I am happy to give you whatever comforts you need. The manor, I think, you will adore. It has a private beach, actually... but if you cannot swim, well, we will just have to teach you." To stay in her good graces, Lachlan wouldn't throw her into the deep end right away like all Irwins had been taught.

 

[Odessa]

She let her own hand fall to her side, mirroring the other, when he released her. Aching fingers hovered over the dagger strapped to her thigh. But she did not grip it, did not lunge to drive it into Lachlan's heart to finish what she wished she had months ago.

Instead, she responded quietly, contemplative. "I suppose..." She ended the thought there. Odessa did not ask him of his hobbies or interests, fearing it might allow her to hate him or this situation any less. He could speak if he wished, she would not stop him.

She twisted the ring on her finger, focusing her attention on anything else while they walked.

Thank the gods he agreed it best they have separate quarters. "I do hope your staff gossips less than ours." If he had any. The hint of humor in her voice died just as quickly as the words left her lips. If his staff kept to themselves, it was fine. But if any word got back to her brother, she would need an excuse. A problem for another day, she decided.

"You'd think I'd be a competent swimmer after being trained since the age of four..." She passed him, leading deeper into the overgrown maze. "I would rather not make a fool of myself. I am capable of enjoying the water from afar. I could not ask that of you, anyway." Honesty again. When he wasn't intoxicated or mocking her for what haunted her the most, he was almost easy to speak to.

"Do be careful, or I may be tempted to overstay my welcome. You've made the place seem almost enjoyable." Though anything was better than trapped within the cold stone home that her brother lorded over.