Private Tales Brothels and Broken Things

[Cassian]

Cassian stood with his head bowed as he listened to Lexi speak. Listening to her, knowing the heartbreak she felt, was hard enough. He wasn't sure he could bear to watch her suffer through what he understood was her duty. Death always hit him hard. As a gypsy, death was feared, as a soldier, it was expected, as a human, it never got easier.

His eyes were glassy with tears unshed as he looked up, exchanging glances with Kain and Alec with a short nod. Cassian patted him on the shoulder with a tight squeeze, and the three along with a few others lit their torches and stepped forward to start lighting the pyres. Cassian did so with a quiet, gypsy prayer on his lips, watching as the fire caught and illuminated the sombre faces of the gathered crowd with warm light.

He stepped back to Lexi's side to silently take her hand.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi hooked her little finger round his behind their backs but otherwise made no outward sign of affection or thanks for the silent and strong comfort his mere presence provided. It was in that manner that she watched the pyres burn.

In drips and drabs people begun to leave. Some paid their own respects to those they knew by throwing flowers onto the flames or cherished items. Groups comforted those who broke down in tears and some merely decided they had paid their respects long enough and turned away with low murmurs of chatter. In the end all that was left was Alec, Kain, Cassian and Lexi. It felt almost right in a way. She gave Cassian's hand a proper squeeze then finally stepped away, down the wooden steps from the dais to where Alec stood. The lad had been keeping a straight face but she could see the wobble in his lip, the tears welling. She reached him just in time for him to turn and wrap his arms around her, and promptly burst into great wreaking sobs.

She stroked his hair and glanced at Kain and Cassian over his head.

"We ride in an hour."

 

[Cassian]

He'd been staring at the flames in silence so deeply in thought that he barely noticed time pass or others come and go. He blinked when he felt Lexi's hand squeeze his own, and watched her go to Alec. He felt something in his chest crack at the sight and his brow furrowed, a hand raking down his face before he nodded to Lexi and turned, patting Kain on the back and walking with him back in silence to get themselves prepared.

Cassian washed the dried tears from his face and packed what they needed, and when the hour had passed he'd saddled the horses and was ready to go.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

"Alec you're not in any state to come," Lexi was saying as they rounded the corner to the stables. Kain walked a little ahead and gave Cassian a wide eyed aggravated look before ducking past to see to his own horse: clearly this argument had been going on for the last hour.

"I'm perfectly fine and I'm a part of your unit, you can't go without me," Alec retorted with a calm tone that betrayed how thin his temper was. Lexi ignored him and went to her horse. The white stallion had begrudgingly come to accept Cassian but most others couldn't handle the fiery steed. He nuzzled Lexi like a tame gelding.

"Some of the others are coming," Kain said gently and Alec clenched his jaw.

"Lexi you can't do this to me -- YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"

 

[Cassian]

Cassian exchanged a cautious glance with Kain and let out a sigh as he felt the tension build. He’d planned on staying out of it until Alec’s voice raised and his brow knit into a frown.

“Hey!” He barked at the lad and took a few steps to grip a firm hold of his shoulder. “You’re angry, we all are, but you especially and I’ve been there, I get it. But you’re also a soldier an’ whether you disagree with her or not she is your commander an’ you’ll lower your tone.” His tone was stern but his voice was quiet in attempt to invoke a little calm understanding.

Cassian of course had never been more of a hypocrite considering he’d lost control after Remy was killed and had subsequently beat his own father and commander to near death…

He turned to Lexi, going to her side and dropping his tone a little lower again. “Lass I know you’re worried about him, but if you don’t give him this chance he’ll resent you for it for the rest of his life. It’ll eat away at him an’ I know where that leads..” he warned as gently as he could, giving the white stallion a pat on the neck and turning to quietly mount his own horse.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Alec shook as Cassian clamped a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at the older man with a wild concoction of fear, anger and grief. He looked like a man about to do something reckless with or without a hand to hold his. Some tiny piece of him still remained in control however as he managed to nod his head jerkily as Cassian's words and take a deep shuddering breath.

Lexi wasn't much better off though instead of wearing her emotions as clearly on her face as Alec did, her face was the pinnacle of icy calm. What betrayed her was the rough way she tightened the girth on her saddles and checked her saddlebags. When Cassian spoke she paused though she didn't spare him a glance, instead studying the studwork on her saddle like she'd never seen it before. Oh yeah, definitely angry. His words made sense though and she closed her eyes to take a steady breath before mounting up.

"Fine, Alec you can come," she most certainly didn't sound happy about it and the boy flinched at her tone. "Get your stuff and get mounted up. I'm not waiting and we leave in five minutes," he stared and then snapped off a salute and set off at a run, brushing past the others coming up with their packs. The slim and dark Aelanora was the total opposite to the pale and stocky Louise but both were formidable fighters.

"Cassian," Aelanora purred with a small grin. "It's good to see she hasn't skinned you yet," Louise laughed and threw her bags over her horse.

"Lexi would never skin such a good hide."

 

[Cassian]

Cassian clenched his jaw in effort to keep from speaking any more. Lexi was pissed off, and he'd no doubt stepped out of line by offering his advice, but he knew she'd regret it if she made Alec stay behind. If she wanted to be angry at him, he'd deal with it.

He turned to look at the two females as his name was spoken, giving an awkward smile as they flirted and rubbing the tension from the back of his neck. "Honestly, right now I ent so sure.." he laughed nervously under his breath.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Aelenora swung up onto her horse - a chestnut mare with long white socks - and settled her signature trident across her back in a comfortable position. She reigned her horse in closer to Cassian to let the horse walk a few paces and adjust more than anything but she took the opportunity to lean over and whisper theatrically.

"From what I hear she much prefers your hide where it is as a form of stress relief," Kain snorted from the other side of Lexi and quickly covered it with a cough but Louise was not so tactful. Seated on a white and brown spotted pony that was carrying a little too much weight she almost fell out of her saddle with her laughter. Lexi's lips twitched and she glanced over at the other two women, the tension visibly leaving her. Normality. That is what she had needed.

"Perhaps you should take him for another spin in the training ring," Aelenora's eyes gleamed at the suggestion. "I know Tryst was asking recently too." The half giant had taken a particular love to Cassian and his ability to keep up when it came to the tavern.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian's face burned. He shot a glare at Kain but wouldn't dare looking at any of the women that way. In all honesty, the intimidated the shit out of him and he always seemed to react like a shy child at their compliments.

He swallowed at the suggestion, rubbing at the back of his neck as he gave a hesitant nod.. "Eh, aye.. I ent taken a beating in a while outside the bedr..." he stopped and cleared his throat, a hand running down his face.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

An audible gasp left both woman's lips. Kain was looking anywhere but Lexi and Lexi's eyes were so wide they nearly took up her entire face. It was the perfect moment for Alec to return.

"I'm read... What did I miss?" he frowned, glancing between all five supposed 'adults' who were already on their horses. Aelenora and Louise fell about laughing whilst Lexi turned a distinct shade of pink and Kain cleared his throat loudly and commented on that the lad better hurry up and get on his horse. It was with Alec begging to be let in on the joke, riding between Louise and Alenora, and Lexi studiously not looking at Kain as they rode, that they left the city behind them and started on their quest.

It almost felt like old times.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian didn't dare look in Lexi's direction, but as he took up the rear, his lips twisted at the sound of laughter ahead of him. The last thing Peter would have wanted was everything to fall apart, everyone grieving and wrought with anger and sadness. Cass glanced to the skies with a quiet sigh and shook his head as he began a quiet gypsy song for the ride.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

The Yêu Tinh Market was the largest of the Black Markets which took place on the Taagi Baara Steppes but it was quite a way from Evora which lay to the far south. It would take the group a good few days of riding before they reached it and then who only knew how long it would take to find the blasted Goblin Alchemist who had made the demon trap. That was if he was even there.

Lexi set a hard pace of riding once they were clear of the city walls. When they weren't galloping they were on their feet walking the horses to rest both their steeds and their own limbs. Hours in a saddle was never easy even for seasoned riders. It was only when the sun was beginning to sink towards the horizon that she reluctantly agreed to make camp and conceded riding in the dark was a prone way for a horse to break a leg.

She collapsed onto her roll mat with a sigh once the camp had been made.

"I forgot what it was like being in your band," Louise grumbled and gingerly sat down with a wince.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian was aching all over, and after tending the horses he flopped down onto his own bedroll as far from Aelenora and Louise as he could whilst still keeping close to the fire. He opened a skin of wine and took a swig of it before passing it around. It wasn't much, but it was enough to take the edge off the chill that was descending.

"I'm sure ol' blue balls will happily help you work those knots out." Cassian replied to Louise with a smirk and a jerk of his chin toward Kain.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi choked on her wine.

Alec managed a bit more dignity and snickered into the bowl of food Aelenora had just handed him, but the two women raised brows and whipped their head in Kain's direction.

"Surely not?" The slim trident wielder asked incredulously.

"How long has it been Kain?"

Kain was a colour at odds with his nickname and he snatched his own bowl of food from the cook for the evening.

"Never any of you mind, I'm quite fine thank you."

The whole fire erupted into laughter.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian's eyes creased at the corners as he laughed to himself, watching Lexi choke on her wine and even Alec struggled to keep a straight face. He shot Kain an apologetic look and shrugged as the laughter around them spread, warming him far more than the fire did.

Peter's absence was palpable, but he knew the lad would have laughed too. He reached out a hand to give Alec a pat on his shin and sighed, folding his arms under his head to watch the falling leaves above them.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

The other three continued to tease Kain. Alec more watched than teased but the girls were savage with their words and Kain grew to a shade of red that shouldn't have been possible in a human. Lexi paid them no mind and she crawled over to join Cassian by his side. The night was still young but after the little sleep they had had the night before and the long day of grieving and anger she was exhausted. Despite that desire to sleep she had noticed how quiet he had been all day as he stood strong for her and - more importantly - Alec.

"How are you doing?" she murmured in a low tone as she settled against his chest and laid her warm robe over them both like a blanket.

 

[Cassian]

He glanced down at her as she rested against his chest, his arm curling around her as he drew in a deep breath and let it tumble back out. His little brother was gone. As much as he hated the silence that seemed to grow in Peter's place, he hated that his was not one of the voices he heard around the little camp, that he'd never hear it teasing him or Kain again. He hated that he knew exactly how Alec was feeling right now and could do nothing to stop it just as he could do nothing to save Peter from dying at all. He hated feeling so fucking helpless.

"I'm alrigh' lass." he murmured into her hair as he pressed a kiss to her head and squeezed at her shoulder. "You get some rest." he rumbled quietly and closed his eyes, though his mind was far from sleeping.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

A frown puckered her brow and she half sat, propping herself up on her elbow so she could look down at him.

"Please don't lie to me," that she couldn't stand. Even if he thought it for her own good her trust was so fleeting and fragile when it came to lovers that she couldn't handle it. Not from him. Not after Rose. Her hand cupped his cheek and she smoothed her thumb over his skin as her eyes flickered between his; or rather, one flickered and the smoky mist that coated the other seemed to swirl with her agitation.

"I have to be there for them as their Captain, but I want to be there for you as your partner, as you were for me last night," it was something more than she could ever offer the others, even Alec, in their grief.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian grumbled as she sat up, a slight wince at her words. "Mh.." he huffed, pressing her hand against his face and squeezing it.

"I just ent sure it's sunk in yet." he said quietly.. "Still half expect to hear him.." he frowned, glancing to where Alec lay. "Worried for the lad too. I know what he's goin through. It's bad enough for us, but its different for him.." he sighed, turning his head to press a kiss to his palm.

"If I'd lost you yesterday." he said, his eyes glistening as he swallowed. "I though' I had..."

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi bent to rest her forehead against his and closed her eyes in understanding. Sometimes there was a pain shared that was too hard to express with words. Peter had died in her arms and in a way it had been a blessing. It was easier to think of him as gone when she had taken away his breath.

"He has you, and I know that that matters to him a lot," Alec and Peter had both looked up to Cassian like an older brother who kept them from getting too badly punished by their Commander. Scamps had been what the three of them were but they had wormed their way into the heart of post for their actions.

"It is a risk of this work," Lexi sighed wishing she could promise him she would come home every time. "But I fight every time to come home to you. You make me fight harder to come home," and made her take less risks.

 

[Cassian]

He frowned at her and gave an uncertain nod. He'd been entirely hopeless for such a long time that it was new to him to be any sort of support to anyone else when he hadn't been able to support himself for years. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do.." he answered in a low rumble, his fingers stroking through her hair as he watched the swaying silhouettes of the branches above them.

When she spoke again though, he looked down at her, cherishing her very presence. His eyes creased in a warm smile, but there was still fear behind them. "I know you do. But I won't be at home, I'll be righ' there fightin' with you." he smirked, and his arms wrapped tightly around her with a deep sigh.

"I love you."

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi's warm smile mirrored his own and she bent her lips to graze across his.

"I love you too," those words seemed even more important to say in the wake of such tragedy. Peter had died with someone he loved and she knew that he bought him comfort. If either of them were to lose their lives on a campaign she wanted the last thing between them to have been those words so that they would know, in those final moments, that they had been loved.

"As for Alec... I don't think you need to do anything," she stroked her fingers through his hair and then down his face. "We'll bring them justice but Alec... I think he just needs to know you're his brother still. Remind him he didn't loose both of you that day."

 

[Cassian]

Cassian's eyes narrowed slightly in a smile, as they always did when she said those words to him. He'd never tire of hearing them, and every time he did he sighed and studied her face, as though he still couldn't believe his luck. He couldn't, that she wanted him, that she loved him back was a miracle in itself, but it gave him more to lose and a painful fear of losing it.

He let his eyes close as she ran her fingers into his hair, leaning into them as they stroked over his face. "Aye.." she breathed out, letting go of the tension he felt. "Aye of course, lass. I won' let him forget that. Perhaps when this is done I'll take a huntin' trip with him and ol' blue balls." he smiled and drew her into a lingering kiss.

"Get some rest." he smirked, though the throaty sound he made made it quite obvious that he might find the lack of privacy to be somewhat difficult to handle.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi nodded encouragingly at his suggestion; a boys hunting trip sounded exactly what Alec needed. She knew that he saw her as more than just a Commander, a friend as well, but she was always aware that no matter how far that stretched there was always some part of a man that kept him from fully relaxing around their superiors. With Cassian and Kain it was different and she cherished that on their behalf.

"Rest," she sighed reluctantly and settled back down against his chest, closing her eyes and running her fingers absentmindedly over his chest. Despite the insinuation she shared his disappointment in the lack of privacy Lexi was asleep within minutes of closing her eyes with the lull of his steady heartbeat to draw her under.

Kain crept over at some point a few minutes later and offered a blanket to the pair before going to find his own roll mat.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian watched her until she fell asleep, finding himself in absolute awe of how he came to find a woman so fierce and strong and so incredibly perfect laying on his chest. Whenever he felt it impossible that he could ever love her more than he did, she proved him wrong. He loved her more with every passing day of knowing her, of watching her face challenge after challenge, and he knew that he'd been one of them, and he'd forever be grateful that he had somehow managed to find a way into her heart.

His arms remained wrapped around her, his fingers tenderly stroking at her back until sleep claimed him too. The night was cold, but in their cocoon of tangled limbs they kept warm. In his dreams, his mother sang as she washed clothes in the river and Remi and Peter laughed by the fire.

"Ah. My boy has found his way home." the woman spoke fondly as she turned to smile at him.