Fable - Ask Shenanigans

[Urchin]

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever ya say, kid. I'm a real saint, I am. "Aven't done anythin' bad in me whole life. Swears to gawd."

The boy smirked at the woman's perfect mimicry of his accent. Good to know the lady had a sense of humor. A sense of humor was something he could work with. "Oh, I believes ya. Proper angel fallen from the sky what lost it's wings," he joked. He liked this lady. He could tell that already.

"Do I look stupid? We both know that's not true. You're actually pretty skilled for a brat. Just happened to steal from the wrong person. Ya gotta learn to pick your marks with more care."

Uh oh. Looked like his helpless hungry orphan act was starting to fall flat. He'd have to change tactics. Luckily, soon after, the woman said something that completely changed the situation.

"I'm no lady. Just a low-down, no-good, dirty, rotten sneak thief like you."

"Really?" the boy asked, before breathing a massive sigh of relief. "Ah, thank fuck! I can drop the act." And with that the boy hurried after her, trotting at her heels to keep up, smirking happily when she ruffled his hair. "Guessing I couldn't pull the wall over yer eyes, huh? What ya think? Were I layin' it on too thick? Works with the ladies sometimes, but maybe I should try ta turn it down a bit. Act more like a scared puppy, ya know? Been working on the fake tears, but can never seem ta start 'em up when I needs 'em. Maybe I should start carryin' a little packet o' pepper in my pocket. Then I can rub some in my eyes whenever I need ta turn on the waterworks."

"Alright, brat. Here's what's gonna happen. I'm going to create a distraction, and you're going to lift something from one of these stalls. If you can prove to me that you know what you're doing, I'll buy ya anything you want. Deal?"

His eyes lit up at the idea. A free distraction so he could snatch up all the shiny goods he could lay his eyes on, and a free meal out of it too? "Deal!" he declared happily. Now his eyes scanned the market stalls, searching for a potential victim. "Hmm, stay clear o' that one," Urchin whispered as he pointed to a vase and pottery merchant, run by a chubby lady sitting on a stall, fondly petting a tiny dog that was sitting in her lap. "That little pup looks cute, but he's actually a mean little shit. Any one tries to still summin' from 'er, he'll start barkin' up a storm an' take a snap at yer ankles while he's at it." Next he pointed out a jeweler on the street opposite. "An' that guy's notorious fer sellin' fake jewels at stupidly 'igh prices. No pint tryin' ta stel nuthin' from 'im. Will probably just be cut glass an' lead." Steal, there were plenty more victims to choose from. One man was selling some really finely carved instruments... But then Urchin doubted he's manage to sneak away with one of them tucked under his shirt. He needed something small. Something he could slip into his pocket. "There," he suggested to Charity, pointing to a little bric a brac stall, that sold all kinds of exotic little treasures. Tiny wooden statues and china dolls and little trinket boxes that played music when you opened them. "Bet I could get summin' nice from there. I'll swipe it just fer you," he offered. This lady had been really nice to him, and he wanted to get her a little present. Not to say he wouldn't grab something for himself while he was there.

 

[Crasius Ardmoire]

"So what's missing then, love? What's keeping you from being "your own man?""

Crasius' expression returns to one of sullen contemplation as he takes time to figure how best to explain his feelings. True; he has his morals, his duties, his beliefs on what and what does not constitute a "righteous man". However there's still a burning sense in the very back of his mind that something is missing from his identity, something important. "I suspect, the same thing that was missing from my master. This city, Alliria, I love it more than anything don't get me wrong. However it's too small for me — I'm bigger than this place, there's a whole world out there to disappear into. That's what's missing from me; this uniform and title isn't me, it's just some small part paraded as the whole...a synecdoche." The unresolved matter of his childhood wanderlust hampers the young knight's mood, until he remembers he probably shouldn't burden his new acquaintance with all his brooding musings.

"Absolutely appalling! You know, I'm not sure a nice, proper young lady like me should be talking to you. You're a bad influence,"

Luckily Honey had given him reasonable cause to change the subject, Crasius playfully chuckling as she jokingly shoves against his armored shoulder. "Now you see why I don't have any kids. In fact I'm glad I never had any younger siblings, they'd have gone rotten just from being around me! Fear not though — something tells me a proper lady such as yourself, has the mercy to see past my unbecoming upbringing." Crasius shoots her a coy wink, taking off a few more chunks of his flavored ice as the heat exhaustion finally starts to wear off.

"Well, who doesn't?"

To this, he simply shrugged; "I don't need to tell you about all the guards with sticks shoved so far up their asses, you could use them like a polearm. Many of my peers abhor to take the shifts I do, something about "rounding up whores and orphans" being a waste of city resources. Some are just content to let people like you...or rather, people like us rot. Despite this of course; being where the fun is."

 

[Honey]

"I suspect, the same thing that was missing from my master. This city, Alliria, I love it more than anything don't get me wrong. However it's too small for me — I'm bigger than this place, there's a whole world out there to disappear into. That's what's missing from me; this uniform and title isn't me, it's just some small part paraded as the whole...a synecdoche."

Honey listened intently, screwing up her paper cone into a little ball which she was about to throw away into the gutter... But then thought better of it. Probably best not to litter in front of an officer of the law. "I know exactly what you mean," she confessed. "I come from a family of travelers. Born on the road I was. Don't even have a home town to call my own. Oh, but it was wonderful. We saw so many beautiful places. You know, there's countries in the far west where it's never cold and the sun shines all year round? And huge market towns up north where all the goods are enchanted and magical! Charms that you can hang over your bed to give you any dream you want. Candles that when you burn them, they give of a faint aroma of the owner's favorite scent. But the best part was always the animals. We traveled to the Isles of Sheketh once, and they had the most beautiful birds you could imagine in every color under the sun. Bright red and green and blue! And over in Amol-Kalit, they have these enormous tusked creatures bigger than anything you've ever seen. More than twice the size of a horse or a cow. Big as a house, even! My father offered to let me ride one once when I was a little girl. But I was so terrified that I kicked and screamed and cried and wouldn't let him take me anywhere near it. Such a waste. I really wish I'd taken him up on his offer now. What en experience that would've been." She smiled as she reminisced about happier times, before they all disappeared. "But you're still young, and with a steady career. A few years of saving some coin, you should be able to travel anywhere in the known world. In fact, strapping young fella like you could probably get himself a job on a trading vessel. Go out and see the world. Find whatever it is you're looking for."

"Now you see why I don't have any kids. In fact I'm glad I never had any younger siblings, they'd have gone rotten just from being around me! Fear not though — something tells me a proper lady such as yourself, has the mercy to see past my unbecoming upbringing."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I'm very strict," she teased. clearly lying. Honey was probably the biggest pushover in the city. Far too soft for her own good. That's what Zilvra told her anyway. She really needed to grow her own backbone one day.

"I don't need to tell you about all the guards with sticks shoved so far up their asses, you could use them like a polearm. Many of my peers abhor to take the shifts I do, something about "rounding up whores and orphans" being a waste of city resources. Some are just content to let people like you...or rather, people like us rot. Despite this of course; being where the fun is."

Honey nodded knowingly at Crasius's statement. "Oh, I know exactly the type you're talking about. I've got to ask, how to you stand them? An easy going guy like you trapped in the middle of so many self-important militants. It must be an absolute nightmare. Though I'd have to agree about the "rounding up whores and orphans" being a complete waste of time. As long as there are men, there'll be whores. And when those men can't find the whores, well, that's when they go after the barmaids and serving girls. And then you have to clear the whores out of the cells to make room for the rapists, and the whole cycle just repeats itself again." Honey's words of wisdom for the day. Maybe she wasn't quite as dense as she came across after all.

"As for the orphans, best to leave the poor things alone. Better on the street than in whatever factory or baby farm they get shipped off to. Gods know they're as likely to die trapped under a machine or falling down a chimney as they are freezing under a bridge on a cold night." Poor things. She'd seen plenty of them in her time. Hard to miss in a city this big, where orphaned or abandoned children could be found frozen, starved or beaten to death in an alley every other night.

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

"There," he suggested to Charity, pointing to a little bric a brac stall, that sold all kinds of exotic little treasures. Tiny wooden statues and china dolls and little trinket boxes that played music when you opened them. "Bet I could get summin' nice from there. I'll swipe it just fer you," he offered.

"Whatever kid. This operation is on your head. If you royally fuck it up, I'm not savin' ya." Charity said, giving him a serious look. "I'm going to head over and I'll give you a signal when its time. After that you're on your own." Of course that wasn't true. She wouldn't let him get in too deep. If things did go south she would do her best to help him, but not to the extent of getting in trouble herself.

Charity sauntered over to the stall where a very pretty elf girl with glasses was rearranging items and putting out new ones. "Hello dear," Charity said, trying her best to sound friendly and charming. "I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the music coming from that box was. You've just got to tell me where you were lucky enough to find such an exquisite item!"

The girl stared at her with a slightly shocked look on her face. After a brief second she composed her self and pushed her glasses back up her nose. "O-Oh! Yes! Of course! I-Its from a small shop in Elbion that puts the enchantment on it so it plays music." A small mischievous grin formed on Charity's face. "Oh... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you!" The girl blinked a couple times before answering. "I-Its alright. Really! I'm just not use to having a young woman like yourself stopping by. Mostly its just men who want to buy something for their wives or girlfriends, or they just want me go to dinner with them. You also wouldn't believe how many times a day I get asked to marry somebody as well! Its very distracting and makes it hard to run a business you know?"

Charity smiled playfully and leaned against the stall counter. "Oh I can imagine! A pretty elf like you must be neck deep in marriage proposals. Heck, if I wasn't so busy, I might consider asking you out to dinner myself!" She gave the girl a gentle boop on the nose and motioned with her other hand for the boy to get going. Well, let's see what you've got brat! Charity thought to herself.

"Anyway," Charity continued, "I'm after a gift for my mother. Would you mind showing me what else you've got?"

 

[Urchin]

"Whatever kid. This operation is on your head. If you royally fuck it up, I'm not savin' ya."

"Fair 'nough," Urchin agreed easily. The whole 'He who falls behind gets left behind' philosophy was one he'd grown up with his entire life and he didn't expect that unwritten rule to be bent for him by a stranger.

Seemingly browsing the nearby market stalls, he kept his eyes and ears open for anything that Charity said and did. And her distraction tactic was... Surprising. She was flirting? With a woman? Well, that was something he hadn't seen before. He's seen the witty and seductive charms that Zilvra's girls laid on their clients and he'd seen the drunken and usually embarrassing attempts of flirtation from rowdy tavern patrons to unfortunate bar maids. He'd never seen two women flirting before. Then again, he'd learned over years that there were men in the world who were only sexually interested in other men. He supposed there was no reason for the same thing not to be true of women... But what exactly did two women do when they were alone together? He'd have to ask one of the girls later.

Regardless, the plan seemed to be working a treat. The elven woman seemed to be engrossed in Charity's attention. Well, who wouldn't be? Charity was a really pretty young woman, with thick lips, big blue eyes and a lovely figure. Anyone would be lucky to her her attention, regardless of whatever equipment they had going on downstairs.

When Charity made her sign for him to get to work, he continued looking over the stalls, slowly making his way over to the bric a brac stall and feigned an interest in some of the items. While Charity continued to chat to the elven shop keeper, Urchin picked up an item and looked at the price tag. He put on a thoughtful little face, as if he were considering whether to buy the item or not, but eventually decided against it and set the item down.

He repeated this act a few more times. Feigning interest in an item, looking at the price tag and then setting it down again. Eventually, he found an item he actually liked the look of, and decided that this lovely trinket would be his prize. He looked at the price tag, considered the item for a couple of seconds and then set it back down on the table... At least, he set it down long enough that the shopkeeper would hear the little clink of the item against the wood. While the elven maiden was busy showing her wares to Charity, Urchin allowed his baggy shirt sleeve to slip down and cover the item. The he cupped his hand and casually picked it up. After this, he made sure to linger a little while longer to make sure that the elven woman wasn't suspicious. He looked at a few more things that he wasn't interested in before setting the last one down and moving on to browse another market stall.

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

"Thanks babe." Charity said winking at the girl. "I'm sure my mother will love this!" After handing the girl a small handful of coins, she walked away humming the song she had heard from the box.

Charity drifted between stalls until she ended up standing next to the boy. "C'mon. We have to get going. Mother will worry if we're gone too long." Gently taking ahold of his hand she led him out of the crowded market.

"That was pretty slick kid." Charity said approvingly. "Alright, lets see what ya got!"

 

[Crasius Ardmoire]

"But you're still young, and with a steady career. A few years of saving some coin, you should be able to travel anywhere in the known world. In fact, strapping young fella like you could probably get himself a job on a trading vessel. Go out and see the world. Find whatever it is you're looking for."

Despondently, Crasius casts his gaze down in contemplation after Honey's lengthy sentiment — he can't really deny the rationale behind her advice, no matter how badly he wants to ruin his life and just run away into the great beyond. Although, he does note the lady's expression carries a similar longing for travel to his own. He can't help but chuckle at her story, softly brushing a lengthy lock of hair from his vision; "Sounds like you've done a lot of living, for someone so young and vibrant. Can't say whether or not I'll be able to stand anchoring myself here for a few more years though; not without going crazy. Still, a pretty face like yours will make working the beat all the more bearable." The guard shortly finishes his flavored ice after his brief spiel.

"Oh, I know exactly the type you're talking about. I've got to ask, how to you stand them? An easy going guy like you trapped in the middle of so many self-important militants. It must be an absolute nightmare."

Now this makes Crasius frown a but. "Y-Yeah..." He'd mutter, tangling a steel-clad finger through his hair as he looks to Honey, almost apologetically. "Sorry if you've ever had a poor experience with my fellow guard. I know they like to tout themselves as paragons of everything good and lawful, but too often they ignore the former in favor of the latter. I mean — I can hardly walk through the barracks without someone mocking me either for my upbringing or the fact I've been stationed near the slums. If it were up to me; I'd reserve the jail for the rapists alone, they at least deserve to rot in a cell."

"As for the orphans, best to leave the poor things alone. Better on the street than in whatever factory or baby farm they get shipped off to. Gods know they're as likely to die trapped under a machine or falling down a chimney as they are freezing under a bridge on a cold night."

Falling silent, the knight gives his head a solemn nod. "As a guard...you have many duties. More often that includes cleaning up bodies from reported unfortunate accidents. It never gets any easier, seeing the things I see. Kids shouldn't be running the streets unsure of when their next meal will be; it's tragic how many people slip through the cracks, but in a city this big it's inevitable."

 

[Urchin]

Suddenly, in the middle of his browsing act, Charity took him by the hand and started leading him away. He trotted after her with a self satisfied little smirk on his face.

"That was pretty slick kid." Charity said approvingly.

The boy gave a little blush, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, "Ah, it were nuthin'," he assured her. "I got all sorts o' tricks like that up my sleeve." Still, it was always flattering to receive a compliment, especially from an expert in the arts of theft and deception like Charity seemed to be. Despite only meeting the girl a few short minutes ago, Urchin desperately wanted to impress the lady and establish himself as a competent thief in her eyes. (Especially since he'd so thoroughly embarrassed himself in his initial attempt to pick her pockets.)

"Alright, lets see what ya got!"

"Here ya go," he said, withdrawing a rather charming little trinket from up his sleeve. "Got it just fer you. Ain't sure what it is but it's real pretty. Girls like pretty stuff, right? Looks like summin' you'd find under the sea. An' look, it even got little fishes swimmin' around inside. Cute, ain't they?" he asked as he passed the bauble over to Charity.

It was a paperweight. Perhaps not the most useful item, but certainly lovely to look at. The glass sphere had the likeness of a coral reef expertly crafted and somehow contained inside. Along with that, two little glass fishes had somehow been enchanted to swim around inside the glass as if they were real living creatures. It was a very simple kind of spell. Nothing extravagant. Both fish had a set path that they were to follow and once they'd swam their loop full circle, they simply repeated the pattern again to give off the illusion of live fish. The materials themselves were practically worthless, but the expert craftsmanship added with the enchanted fish made this a rather expensive little gift. Plus, it doubled as an extremely low maintenance pet that would live forever and you never had to feed.

 

[Honey]

"Sounds like you've done a lot of living, for someone so young and vibrant. Can't say whether or not I'll be able to stand anchoring myself here for a few more years though; not without going crazy. Still, a pretty face like yours will make working the beat all the more bearable."

"Well, I certainly hope to see more of you," she said sweetly. "Shallows can be a nasty place at times, so it's always nice to see a friendly face. Besides, it's good to know that there's at least one guard out there who's looking out for the little people."

"Sorry if you've ever had a poor experience with my fellow guard. I know they like to tout themselves as paragons of everything good and lawful, but too often they ignore the former in favor of the latter. I mean — I can hardly walk through the barracks without someone mocking me either for my upbringing or the fact I've been stationed near the slums. If it were up to me; I'd reserve the jail for the rapists alone, they at least deserve to rot in a cell."

"Nothing too bad," she assured Crasius. Oh, she'd had some nasty run ins with the law in her time, but nothing compared to what she'd heard from some of her friends. Honey always went quietly and acted respectful, which played nicely to the guards egos. To some of her less diplomatic friends who wriggled and cussed and put up a fight... Well, things didn't always end so well for them. In this city, sagging a guard was considered a greater crime than whatever the criminal was initially arrested for. "Can't see how anyone could complain about your upbringing though. You're as fine a gentleman as the city's ever seen. Though, I suppose there are always those who think they're better than others because they have a rich daddy to keep them out of trouble. I've certainly met a few of those in my time."

She grinned when Crasius suggested reserving the jails for the rapists alone. What a lovely world that would be. "Well, save some room for the murderers and child beaters, but yes, that would be nice, wouldn't it. If only the rest of your kind was as diligent as you the streets would be a safer place to walk at night."

Falling silent, the knight gives his head a solemn nod. "As a guard...you have many duties. More often that includes cleaning up bodies from reported unfortunate accidents. It never gets any easier, seeing the things I see. Kids shouldn't be running the streets unsure of when their next meal will be; it's tragic how many people slip through the cracks, but in a city this big it's inevitable."

"Really? You have to deal with that?" she asked sympathetically. "Well, yes, I suppose that would be part of your job, wouldn't it? Damn, that must be hard. The things you must see in this hell hole. I wonder how many murders you get in a city like this. What with all the gang wars and vampire killings and just the regular sickos who think it's a form of entertainment. Your job must be hell."

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

Charity's eyes lit up and glittered as the boy handed her the object. "Its so beautiful!" she breathed moving the object slowly around in her hands. "Uh... I-I mean its alright for you first attempt. Ya got some potential there brat. Keep this up and one day you might be half the thief I am!" Charity laughed slapping Urchin on the back.

"Here, I got you something too." Charity fished around in her pockets and produced a small, intricately carved stone knight figurine. She had stolen it from the next stall over from the elf girl. Charity couldn't bring herself to steal from the beautiful elf, she didn't know what it was, but she just couldn't do it.

Charity passed the figurine over to the boy. "Well... You did much better than I expected you would. Guess I should hold up my end of the deal. We can eat wherever you'd like. I'll follow you!"

 

[Urchin]

Urchin absolutely beamed with pride, hearing Charity whisper under he breath the the present was beautiful. Yes! He'd successfully managed to impress her. Just hearing that she liked his present completely healed his wounded pride from having gotten so easily caught before.

"Uh... I-I mean its alright for you first attempt. Ya got some potential there brat. Keep this up and one day you might be half the thief I am!" Charity laughed slapping Urchin on the back.

"I sure 'opes so!" Urchin said enthusiastically. "So 'ow long ya been in the business then? My Ma' used ta say I 'ad my 'and in the cookie jar since before I could walk an' talk. Been makin' my bread an' butter from it since I were about elven. Been savin' up a few coppers 'ere an' there so that one day I can get outta this shit stain of a city. After that... Well, I ain't really sure what I'll do ta be honest. Ain't really any good at anythin' else. Maybe I'll be a bard or summin'. Everyone likes a bard, right?" Not much of a plan, but at least the boy was optimistic.

"Here, I got you something too." Charity fished around in her pockets and produced a small, intricately carved stone knight figurine.

"Oh, wow!" the lad squeaked in excitement as he reached out and took the little stone knight, turning it over in his hands. "Thanks fer this Miss Lady, it's a real swell present. I'll keep it on me as a good luck charm," he told her, contentedly slipping the little figurine into his pocket. "Oh, an' I dun go by 'Brat'," he told her, though with the amount of people who called him that, it might as well have been his name. "Folks 'round 'ere call me Urchin. 'Ow 'bout you?"

"Well... You did much better than I expected you would. Guess I should hold up my end of the deal. We can eat wherever you'd like. I'll follow you!"

"Really?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear. "Great, let's go!" he cheered as he started to head towards a nice little tavern known as the Elven Arrow, planning on taking full advantage of the girl's offer to buy him whatever he'd like. "Well, ya sure got the coin fer it, I saw that much, so let's get summin' nice. A proper slap up meal with meat an' potatoes an' gravy an' stuff. Maybe even a slice o' apple pie with custard... An' rum! Can we get some rum?" Being a mischievous little scamp of a teenager, Urchin would drink any form of alcohol he could get his hands on, but to him, the majority of alcohol tasted like he was downing straight piss. Rum was the only liquor he really liked. Strong and sweet and sugary.

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

"So 'ow long ya been in the business then? My Ma' used ta say I 'ad my 'and in the cookie jar since before I could walk an' talk. Been makin' my bread an' butter from it since I were about elven. Been savin' up a few coppers 'ere an' there so that one day I can get outta this shit stain of a city. After that... Well, I ain't really sure what I'll do ta be honest. Ain't really any good at anythin' else. Maybe I'll be a bard or summin'. Everyone likes a bard, right?" Not much of a plan, but at least the boy was optimistic.

How long had she been in the business?? How long HAD she been doing this for? "Same as you squirt. Its the earliest thing I can remember doing. Been making my living from it since I've been old enough to get my grubby little hands on things that didn't belong to me." Charity only half listened as the boy continued talking. "No matter where you go in the world, it's still the same old shit. Just a different pile." she mused. "But don't let that stop you I guess... Can't imagine it would be difficult for a bard to find work wherever they ended up."

"Thanks fer this Miss Lady, it's a real swell present. I'll keep it on me as a good luck charm," he told her, contentedly slipping the little figurine into his pocket. "Oh, an' I dun go by 'Brat'," he told her, though with the amount of people who called him that, it might as well have been his name. "Folks 'round 'ere call me Urchin. 'Ow 'bout you?"

"Sure thing. Its only fair since you got me something right?" Charity said with a grin. "Don't care what ya call yourself. You're still 'Brat' and 'Kid' to me. Besides, names aren't all that important. I doubt if we'll ever see each other again after today." She frowned with a twinge of annoyance. "And stop calling me 'Lady'. I'm not a fuckin' noble. You can call me Charity, okay?"

"Really?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear. "Great, let's go!" he cheered as he started to head towards a nice little tavern known as the Elven Arrow, planning on taking full advantage of the girl's offer to buy him whatever he'd like. "Well, ya sure got the coin fer it, I saw that much, so let's get summin' nice. A proper slap up meal with meat an' potatoes an' gravy an' stuff. Maybe even a slice o' apple pie with custard... An' rum! Can we get some rum?"

RUM?! Wasn't this kid like.... twelve or something? "We'll get you whatever ya want kid. Don't you worry." Charity said, giving him a light push towards the door of the tavern. Meat and potatoes and gravy does sound really good though. Charity's stomach began to rumble just thinking about it. She hadn't eaten anything yet today and the more she thought about it the hungrier she got.

The Elven Arrow. That's a fancy name for such an out of the way hole in the wall. Charity shrugged and followed Urchin inside to sit at the bar. She waved over the man behind the bar. "Hey. You. Two portions of meat and potatoes, your largest mug of ale, and..." Charity glanced over to the boy who was looking at her expectantly, and sighed. "And a small mug of rum for him." she said jerking her thumb towards Urchin. The bartender looked at the pair uncertainly. "Look. Its fine. Just get him his rum, and I'll throw in some extra coin, alright?" He nodded, still not fully convinced, but went to get the food anyway.

As they waited, Charity put her hand under her chin and leaned against the bar. "So anyway... ya live around these parts, kid?"

 

[Urchin]

"Same as you squirt. Its the earliest thing I can remember doing. Been making my living from it since I've been old enough to get my grubby little hands on things that didn't belong to me."

"Oh wow, so ya been in the game even longer than me then," he said approvingly. "No wonder ya caught on ta my game so quick, ya probably invented the whole clumsy drunk act. An' yer fast too! Real fast! I thought I were fast, but ya left me in the dirt back there. I mean, 'ow did ya manage ta climb up that pipe so quick? I thought I'd lost ya back in the alley, but ya some 'ow managed ta get all the way 'round an' on top o' that buildin' before I could even get ta the other side!" Clearly the lad was in awe of Charity's sneaky abilities. That said, he'd probably be even more impressed if he'd known how she really did it.

"No matter where you go in the world, it's still the same old shit. Just a different pile." she mused

"Ain't so," Urchin objected. "There's way better piles o' shit than this one. 'Ell, there's places in the world where the folks is so rich that they dun gotta worry 'bout nobody stealin' nuthin' 'cos everybody else already got more gold than they know what ta do with." That and the fact that they had armed guards outside every door. Of course, the chances of Urchin ever making his way to a place like that were practically zero, unless he was lucky enough to end up as a head on a pike outside a rich King's castle one day.

"Don't care what ya call yourself. You're still 'Brat' and 'Kid' to me. Besides, names aren't all that important. I doubt if we'll ever see each other again after today." She frowned with a twinge of annoyance. "And stop calling me 'Lady'. I'm not a fuckin' noble. You can call me Charity, okay?"

Urchin shrugged off the fact that he would perpetually be known as 'brat' and 'kid' to his new friend. "Meh, I been called worse," especially by the local guards. They had a few choice names for him. Still, he was sad to hear the woman say that he doubted they'd ever see each other again after today. That was a damn shame. He never had anyone to talk to that was from the same walk of life as him. He really hoped he'd see her again. "Ah, I call all the girls 'lady'. Most of 'em like it. Makes 'em feel important an' stuff. Plus, pretty much every lass is a lady compared ta me... Charity, huh? That's real pretty," he complimented her.

"We'll get you whatever ya want kid. Don't you worry." Charity said, giving him a light push towards the door of the tavern.

Half pushed and half excitedly diving through the tavern doors, Urchin wove his way through the drunken patrons, faking a little stumble to scoop up a couple of coppers that had fallen off one of the tables where a group of passing sailors were gambling on a game of dice. He made his way towards the the bar where he found an empty seat, lifting himself up to sit on the irritatingly tall bar stool. When she ordered him the meal he'd asked for and the mug of rum to boot, the boy's face lit up like Winterfest had come early. This was a good day, that was for sure! Never before had stealing somebody's coin purse resulted in his victim buying him a meal.

"So anyway... ya live around these parts, kid?"

"Ah sure, born an' raised," he said proudly... As if living his whole life in this backwater slum was something to be proud of. "Ma' used ta work the classier side o' town but... Well, she ain't around no more." By 'classier side of town', he meant a relatively high paying brothel just outside the Shallows. And by 'not around no more' he meant dead of whatever disease she picked up working there. Still, that wasn't the best topic for polite conversation though. "I learned ta take care o' myself pretty quick though. Manage ta stay outta the worst trouble. Key is ta find 'igh up places ta sleep. The cutthroats an' vampires an' organ harvesters an' that, they always stick ta the ground, so if ya can find yerself a spot in the rafters, they'll walk right past ya an' wun even know yer there." Not that Charity needed that advise. By the look of her, she certainly had her life better put together than him. "'Ow 'bout you? Where ya from?"

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

"Oh wow, so ya been in the game even longer than me then," he said approvingly. "No wonder ya caught on ta my game so quick, ya probably invented the whole clumsy drunk act. An' yer fast too! Real fast! I thought I were fast, but ya left me in the dirt back there. I mean, 'ow did ya manage ta climb up that pipe so quick? I thought I'd lost ya back in the alley, but ya some 'ow managed ta get all the way 'round an' on top o' that buildin' before I could even get ta the other side!"

Charity raised her hands and wiggled her fingers like she was pretending to be a ghost. "I'm really two people. Ya never know where I'll be!" Charity said jokingly. "Nah. Really it was just some mild illusion magic I learned from my moth- I mean... A very kind lady who helped me get my life in order. Just made something that looked like me and had it chase you down.

"Ain't so," Urchin objected. "There's way better piles o' shit than this one. 'Ell, there's places in the world where the folks is so rich that they dun gotta worry 'bout nobody stealin' nuthin' 'cos everybody else already got more gold than they know what ta do with."

"Well that's where people like us come in. Its not very nice of them to keep all that gold to themselves, now is it?" Charity said with a wide grin. "If they don't want to share it themselves, then we'll share it for 'em!"

"Ah, I call all the girls 'lady'. Most of 'em like it. Makes 'em feel important an' stuff. Plus, pretty much every lass is a lady compared ta me... Charity, huh? That's real pretty," he complimented her.

Charity couldn't help but blush a little as Urchin complimented her. Compliments weren't something she had ever received a lot of in her life. Most of the time, if somebody had something to say to her, they were telling her off for something. "Uh... Thank you... My father picked it."

"Ah sure, born an' raised," he said proudly... As if living his whole life in this backwater slum was something to be proud of. "Ma' used ta work the classier side o' town but... Well, she ain't around no more." By 'classier side of town', he meant a relatively high paying brothel just outside the Shallows. And by 'not around no more' he meant dead of whatever disease she picked up working there. Still, that wasn't the best topic for polite conversation though. "I learned ta take care o' myself pretty quick though. Manage ta stay outta the worst trouble. Key is ta find 'igh up places ta sleep. The cutthroats an' vampires an' organ harvesters an' that, they always stick ta the ground, so if ya can find yerself a spot in the rafters, they'll walk right past ya an' wun even know yer there." Not that Charity needed that advise. By the look of her, she certainly had her life better put together than him. "'Ow 'bout you? Where ya from?"

"Used to live here. Its where I spent the first few years of my life. Now I live upstairs at an inn near the Raven Club. You should go there sometime. Lots of drunk idiots to scam and lots of loose coin on the floor. Plus, I'm sure Ogden would give ya all the rum you could drink! Anyway... The Outer City isn't much better than the slums but its still a step up."

Finally the man returned with their food. Charity immediately downed half her ale before diving into meat and potatoes. She hadn't realized how hungry she was and before she knew it, her plate was nearly empty.

"Hey kid what do ya say we go back to the market after we're done here and see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into?"

 

[Urchin]

"I'm really two people. Ya never know where I'll be!" Charity said jokingly. "Nah. Really it was just some mild illusion magic I learned from my moth- I mean... A very kind lady who helped me get my life in order. Just made something that looked like me and had it chase you down."

At that revelation, the boy's eyes went as wide as saucers. "No!" he gasped in pure amazement. "Ya can do magic? Like, proper magic? Fer real? No bloody way! Can I see?" he begged. "I mean, I can make coppers appear behind someone's ear an' guess what cards people are thinkin' of an' stuff, but it's all just tricks. Ain't real magic. Can ya make summin' appear outta nowhere? Just summin' little, like a butterfly or summin? Please?" the boy was more excited than a child at the circus at the prospect of seeing real magic before his very eyes.

"Uh... Thank you... My father picked it."

"Well, 'e picked good. It suits ya," Urchin told the woman happily. "Charity means like generous, dun it? Like folks what give stuff ta people what ain't got nuthin'. An' here ya are buyin' me dinner. I'd say it suits ya to a tee."

"Used to live here. Its where I spent the first few years of my life. Now I live upstairs at an inn near the Raven Club. You should go there sometime. Lots of drunk idiots to scam and lots of loose coin on the floor. Plus, I'm sure Ogden would give ya all the rum you could drink! Anyway... The Outer City isn't much better than the slums but its still a step up."

"Raven Club, eh? I think I 'eard of it. Will definitely drop by. Maybe I'll see ya there sometime. We could play a few 'ands o' cards or summin'. Promise I wun beat ya too 'ard, but I warn ya, my poker face is unbeatable!" Oh yes, a wonderful idea. Playing cards against a woman who was skilled with illusion magic. No way that could possibly go wrong.

Something she said grabbed his attention though. Charity had mentioned someone called Ogden. Ogden... Ogden... That name sounded familiar. Where had he heard it before? ... Oh well. No time to think about that now, the food was here! And when the food arrived, Charity learned the one and only trick of how to keep Urchin quiet. The lad ate like he was completely famished and didn't say a word until his plate was completely empty. Once all of the food was gone, he used his small mug of rum to wash it all down before rubbing his mouth with his sleeve, satisfied as a boy could be. "Thank ya Miss Charity! Yer a peach, ya really are. I ain't had a proper 'ot meal like that in days."

"Hey kid what do ya say we go back to the market after we're done here and see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into?"

A devilish little grin spread across the boy's face at that suggestion. "Well, there's always so many nice things ta find on market day," he said approvingly. "What ya 'ave in mind?"

 

[Crasius Ardmoire]

"Besides, it's good to know that there's at least one guard out there who's looking out for the little people."

Crasius scuffs the rust off his helm with a polishing rub of his flowing crimson cape, finally having cooled down enough to return the hardy bit of equipment to his head after tying back his hair. "Well. . .I can't pretend I'm the only person looking out for the common folk — but I like to pride myself as unbiased when it comes to protecting the citizenry. You flatter my character, Miss Honey." The young guard takes to re-doing the straps to fasten his head guard into place, once again becoming an iron-clad and faceless paragon of law.

"Well, save some room for the murderers and child beaters, but yes, that would be nice, wouldn't it. If only the rest of your kind was as diligent as you the streets would be a safer place to walk at night."

To this he'd chuckle, amending; "Yes, yes. All sordid sorts have their place waiting for them in the prison cells. After all what kind of message would it send if they were allowed to roam free?" Crasius takes a cursory look around the market place, before returning the amber glint of his helmet covered gaze to Honey. "Stealers, killers, rapers; I can tell you, we usually have no issue meeting arrest quotas."

"As for what I have to deal with, I got used to it after the first month. You can only see so many poor souls drained of all their blood or mutilated beyond recognition, before it no longer sickens you..." Crasius would tighten a gauntleted fist as it hung by his side, hand shaking slightly in righteous anger. "...instead, it makes your blood boil."

 

[Honey]

"As for what I have to deal with, I got used to it after the first month. You can only see so many poor souls drained of all their blood or mutilated beyond recognition, before it no longer sickens you..." Crasius would tighten a gauntleted fist as it hung by his side, hand shaking slightly in righteous anger. "...instead, it makes your blood boil."

"Oh dear," Honey muttered to herself. "I've gone and soured the conversation haven't I? And we were having such a nice chat too." Good thing he wasn't a customer, or the boss would be having words with her. After all, it was her job to help the clients forget about the troubles of their daily life, not remind them of it.

"Well, I certainly don't envy your job," she admitted, despite the fact that her own occupation was far from a walk in the park. "I don't think I'd ever be able to do that kind of work. I don't have the stomach for it. Softer than a poppet, my mother used to say. I'd brake down in tears if I saw so much as a dead dog on the wayside." Of course, that was a long time ago. Honey had to toughen up a lot since those days, in order to survive.

She considered changing the subject to something more pleasant, but then she remembered that she wasn't working and the man she was talking to wasn't a client, so it wasn't up to her to distract from his troubles. Besides, in her own experience, it often helped more to get all the unpleasant stuff off your chest every once in awhile. Somehow she doubted the other guards in the city made for particularly good listeners.

"It must be a thankless job," she thought out loud. "All those horrible sights you have to deal with. And everyone blaming you for the crooks you haven't locked up instead of thanking you for the ones you have. You certainly pulled the short straw, getting stuck with the likes of us," she joked, gesturing to the people of the Shallows. "I'd wager there's more criminals in this sordid little city than you could lock in your prisons if you fit ten to a cell... Well, if I ever hear any gossip about anyone nasty, I'll be sure to look you up. I know most folks here don't talk to the guards out of principle, but there's a small handful around here that the whole city would like to see behind bars. Like that Wendigo that's been prowling the docks for one. He got one of our girls just last week, so I'll be sure to let you know if I hear anything about him... or her. No one really seems to know." All folk seemed to know of that case was that the beast had taken possession of a local butcher (previously a completely harmless and well liked fellow) and turned him into a mindless, flesh eating cannibal, turning his butcher knife against the innocent of the city. Of course, when caught, the butcher had been hung for his crimes, but it seemed that before his death, the wendigo who had possessed the butcher had abandoned his former host and found a new victim. Since then, more mutilated, half eaten corpses had been appearing around the city, with the population having know way of knowing if the creature possessed only one victim or jumped back and forth between many.

"So, where could a girl find you if she had any tips she wanted to give?" Of course, she wouldn't dare raise a hand against organised crime in the city, but the senseless killings of a monstrous beast, she doubted anyone would be sad to see go. "You can find me down the docks at the Siren's Song most evening's if you're ever looking for any leads. Or if you're off duty and just looking to unwind. I play the lute there most Tuesdays nights, so I shouldn't be too hard to find. I'd advise against wearing your uniform though. I doubt the crowd there would take too kindly to guards on their turf. You get all kinds of card and dice games there, though I'd really appreciate it if you didn't cause a big stir over some trumped up unregistered gambling regulations, if it's all the same to you. Cheap drinks, cheap rooms and cheap women. Rent by the hour. I'm sure I could fix you up with a nice girl if you like. What's your type?"

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

Charity giggled as Urchin ate. He was stuffing the food in his face like he hadn't eaten in a hundred years. She felt a bit sad as she remembered her younger days of having to go long stretches of time without any food, and wondered if the boy had anybody to look after him.

Pushing her uncharacteristic worry for the boy out of her head, Charity finished her food. A sly grin spread across her face as Urchin asked her what her plan she had in mind. She leaned in close to him and spoke softly. "Okay kid, here's the plan. We're going to back to the marketplace. It should be busy enough for us to go unnoticed. And we're going to have ourselves a little competition. Whoever can steal the most expensive item without getting caught wins. And the loser has to pay for dinner!" This was going to be the easiest thing she had ever done. There was no way in hell that this brat could out-do somebody of her skill level!

After they finished eating, Charity led the boy back to the marketplace. "Ready?" she asked excitedly. "Okay then! Ready... Set... GO!!" she yelled and ran off into the mass of people gathered in the square.

 

[Urchin]

"Okay kid, here's the plan. We're going to back to the marketplace. It should be busy enough for us to go unnoticed. And we're going to have ourselves a little competition. Whoever can steal the most expensive item without getting caught wins. And the loser has to pay for dinner!"

Oh, this was going to be fun! Stealing was always a game to him, but never before had he actually gotten the chance to play the game with someone else and turn it into a competition. "Yer on!" he declared happily after finishing his mouthful. "Just wanna be clear, we're after one super expensive thing, right? Not a whole bunch o' little things?" Urchin was usually more of a 'whole bunch o' little things' kind of thief, but he was sure he could work something out.

Once finished with his meal, he followed Charity back to the market place.

"Ready?" she asked excitedly. "Okay then! Ready... Set... GO!!" she yelled and ran off into the mass of people gathered in the square.

Urchin beamed as he sprinted off in the opposite direction. While he was finishing up his meal, he'd already come up with an extremely wicked and dastardly little plan! While Charity was no doubt looking over jewelry, charms and expensive ornaments, Urchin headed towards a merchant trader from Elbion, selling intricate, hand crafted furniture of solid oak. Now, it would be rather difficult for Urchin to conceal a king sized wardrobe up his sleeve, but it wasn't the furniture he was looking at... It was the price tags! While Urchin couldn't read so much of his own name, he knew enough about numbers to know that the more zeros on the end of a number, the more costly it was. After examining a few items, the lad found an enchanted outdoor rocking bench that swung on it's own, regardless of the weather. Since it was clear that this shoeless little street rat didn't have enough coin to purchase even the most basic of his wares, the vendor took a broom and shooed the lad away, but by them it was already too late. Urchin already had what he wanted. A price tag with the price of 500 gold pieces written on it! Now, all he had to do was find any old piece of cheap tat, and stick the price tag on it. Then regardless of it's actual value, he'd have the most expensive item... Genius!

 

[Charity Briarthorne]

After the boy ran off, Charity mosied down the row of stalls. Stopping here and there, she tried to figure out how to win their little contest. Was the kid going to go for a bunch of little things? Maybe he would try to steal just one high value trinket. Who knew what was going though the brat's mind....

Well one thing was certain. Charity was going for a bunch of small things. A small bag of precious stones, or some jewelry should do the trick. She remembered seeing a jeweler's booth on the other side of the square and started to make her way over to it.

"OI! Guards! There she is!" a gruff voice suddenly shouted. "That there's the girl wot stole me valuable merchandise! Keep an eye out for her little helper too!" Charity looked and saw a short angry looking man emerging from behind one of the stalls. "Oh fuck!" Charity cursed and started running towards the exit of the marketplace.

Charity ran past Urchin as she was being chased. "The kid'll have to fend for himself. He's not my problem." She thought to herself. But something in Charity forced her to stop. She felt a sharp pang in her heart as remebered what it was like to be in his position. It almost felt like fate had brought them together.

Charity turned and held out her hand. "C'mon kid. We have to het out of here!"

 

[Urchin]

Urchin set about searching the market place for trinkets to attach to his newly acquired price tag. According to the rules of the little game that Charity had set, he was under the impression that they were only supposed to be stealing one item, and the item of the highest value would win. So, he was on the lookout for something that looked expensive, regardless of how expensive it actually was.

His initial instinct was to search for antiques. Ancient artifacts from the Age of Wonders and the Age of Expansion. Which these relics were essentially useless and the majority of them, folk couldn't even tell you what in the seven hells they actually were, they somehow managed to see for ridiculous prices, based soley on the fact that they were so rare and unique.

In the end, Urchin settled on some really strange, rusted metal contraption, that Urchin assumed was meant to be some kind of children's toy. A statue of a bird, with flapping wings and a long, curly tail. (It was in fact simply a corkscrew.)

Before he could try and sneak the item under his sleeve though, Charity suddenly grabbed him by the hand and started pulling him away. "Hey, I ain't finished lookin' yet!" he objected, but soon heard the shouts of the guards behind him, ordering them both to stop. "Ah, fuck, run!" he yelled, chasing after Charity and doing his absolute best to keep up with her.

 

[Honey]

Honey was rather enjoying her chat with Crasius, but it was sadly interrupted when some of the local market vendors started calling out for guards. Crasius of course, being on duty, turned to see what he was being summoned for when a young man and woman suddenly darted part the pair with a couple of guards on their heels.

"Uh... Apologies Miss, duty calls," Crasius said to Honey with an awkward bow before chasing after the pair.

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me," Honey muttered under her breath as she watched the chase ensue. She'd recognize that deep red head of hair anywhere and knew exactly who it belonged to. Could the boy not stay out of trouble for five minutes? Well, she supposed she should follow. If the boy managed to get himself caught, no doubt she'd be the one who'd have to bail him out... Again!