Private Tales Recovery

[Myrcella Bochanan]

"Come in."

Myrcella turned the page in her book, not really glancing up just yet. The light from the fireplace caused the shadows to dance across her features. She was at an interesting part of the book, a story on a Knight and a fair maden that was taken hostage by a horrible King. She had read the story before, but now afrer her ordeal, she could relate to the story a bit more and see it in a new light.

Finally she looked up to see Titus Phane walk in. Myrcella smiled brightly and set the book down after placing her velvet bookmark on the spot where she had left off.

"Is it tea time already? How wonderful."

 

[Titus Phane]

"Indeed, Mistress. As you requested."
He brought the tray in and placed it on the table beside her, pouring her a hot cup of tea and serving it to her.

"Were you enjoying your book? I would hate to interrupt you." He continued to prepare for tending to her feet. Fresh bandages were ready and he took the wash basin and towels once more before kneeling before her.

"How would you like for me to begin, Mistress?"

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella took the tea in hand, her eyes studying him for a moment. "Thank you." She gingerly took a sip of the hot tea, being mindful not to burn her tongue.

At the request of Titus Phane tending to her feet, she nodded. "Please do." Myrcella glanced to her door to see if there were any of the maids nearby, but there wasn't. Still, she found herself keeping her voice lowered. "Has anyone been talking about us? Did anyone see us kissing?" It was a lovely first kiss. Much better than she had expected. She wondered if it was like that for her parents as well. Did her Father look after her Mother this well? Hopefully so. Myrcella felt very fortunate.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus began gently unwrapping the bandages on her feet. Even bruised and blistered they looked beautiful to him. He tested the water before putting her feet in it, it was cold so he used a little bit of his magic to warm it up to a pleasing temperature, even though doing so made him cringe slightly.
"I have been keeping my eyes and ears open. I don't believe the servants are aware. And if they were, I imagine they would have informed your parents by now. I think we are safe."

He dipped her left foot in the warm water and slowly began to wash and massage her feet, being gentle but paying close attention to her blisters and bruises, using his hands to relieve any pain. He reminded himself that he could use magic to heal her bruises and blisters and ease any pain, he knew that it would be far more worthy an occasion than just heating water... But he reasoned that he would rather tend her pains with his own hands. To him there was something artificial about magic that just wasn't the same as doing things with your own hands. It had less feeling to it, less emotion, less sincerity.

He toweled off her left foot and then began again on her right foot, washing and soothing her foot with his hands. He glanced up and met her eyes while he worked.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella breathed a sigh of relief. At least they were safe for now. She closed her eyes as Titus Phane worked on her feet, not at all aware that he had any magical abilities. His touch and gentle workings were soothing enough.

"Thank you for this. You can't imagine how helpful it is. Especially after having such harsh treatment. It's good to know that kindness still exists."

One thing was for sure; she regretted some of her past actions or words towards people. Now she vowed to be less of a snob towards them and more appreciative. Maybe that was the lesson to be learned from all of it. Maybe it was the only way it'd get through to her.

Myrcella looked down at Titus to see him looking up at her. "Will you join me for tea after? Or is it too much that would give us away?"

 

[Titus Phane]

He smiled, "I would be honored to join you for tea, Mistress."
After he was done washing her feet he got the salve and bandages from the tray. He took her left foot and began applying the salve to her injuries, allowing the cold spreading gel to further sooth her. The he took the roll of bandages and began to gently wrap her feet once more. Once he was finished he washed his hands and put away the bandages.

Then he stood up and moved a chair to the table beside her. He poured another cup of tea and made sure she had enough as well before sitting down facing her.
"How are you feeling, Mistress? I can't help but notice, but you seem worried."

He sipped his tea obediently and managed to not make a face. He could understand why his mistress or anyone likes tea, but he simply couldn't bring himself to actively like it or appreciate it.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella smiled as Titus Phane decided to join her for tea. She watched him while he worked so delicately on her feet. Such care was something that she was looking forward to every day.

She then took her cup of tea as he finished with the bandages and snuggled herself in her chair a bit more. Her fingers wrapped around the warm cup, she took a sip.

Already Titus was reading her, somehow able to detect her own thoughts. Or maybe it was her face giving it away. "I am feeling better. But yes, I'm a little worried as well. Over many things; about us, about going outside, even about going riding. I just have to take it one day at a time, I suppose." Regardless of what happens, she'd just have to accept it.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus got an idea, "Mistress... If you are scared to go out in public... What if you started small? I would be honored if you would ride with me tomorrow around the estate."

He didn't know if maybe it was insensitive to ask her to go out after she just said she was scared to, but he thought that maybe since it's with him she would be more comfortable. Perhaps with another servant present just to assuage any suspicions if any existed.

Probably the one thing he couldn't relate to was lasting emotional or spiritual pain. For him non of that was permanent and maybe it wasn't for her either... But he remembered a time when people he met in his travels would call him cruel for telling people with wounds like that to simply realize they aren't permanent and move past them. Sooner rather than later.

It was long ago, but that is a wound he still carries and a memory that rose unbidden to his mind. The sting of distrust when all he wanted to do was help. He could still hear them, their condescending voices full of rage... "What do you know!" "you are just some backwoods hick!" "You have no right to tell her to move on! You're no physician!" "How could you make light of how she feels! What she went through is horrible! don't you feel sorry for her!"

The voices went on in his mind and he grit is teeth in spite of himself and his countenance darkened, almost glaring in rage at his own memories as they played out, dancing in the reflection as he stared into his tea. Like demons dancing around a fire in his heart.
Could those people really think him so insensitive? How could they truly have believed he didn't feel bad that anyone would have to be raped or mistreated or abused or emotionally scarred? He did... HE DID! nobody should have to feel that pain be they man, woman, or child and NOBODY would say otherwise, ESPECIALLY him. His inner voice almost screamed back at the demons in his mind.

What wasn't right was why this was coming up now... Of all times... While he was trying to offer his mistress some sort of therapy for her own fears. He shook himself and tried to recover, but some darkness lingered in his eyes even though he relaxed his face.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella's eyebrows lifted as Titus Phane suggested a ride together. TOGETHER! It could be one of their first days of proper courtship! Maybe they could go on a picnic or something! Oh that would be lovely.

While she started to daydream about it all, Titus seemed to have changed a bit. It was like he got colder. He too was losing himself inside his head, but he seemed to have gone into a much darker place. Just what he was thinking, Myrcella didn't know. But it gave her cause to concern.

She reached out and placed her hand on top of his that held his cup, moreso in a bid to catch his attention. The last time that she had done so, he removed her hand. Whether he was to do it again or not, she didn't care. Myrcella wanted to draw him away from his current mood.

"I'd love to go on a ride with you. We could make a day of it. I'd be more comfortable to have you by my side. A Knight does need to be excellent at horsemanship, you know." And he was determined to be her Knight in hopes that it'd make it easier for her parents to let them wed. And right now she really wanted them to.

 

[Titus Phane]

Her touch seemed to bring some stability to his thoughts. He looked down at her hand on his, kind and gentle, soft and reassuring. He smiled and his eyes glistened with contained tears of happiness. He placed his hand over hers and held it tightly.
"Yes... I suppose you're right, Mistress."

He set his cup down and held her hand in both of his, counting her fingers between his and lacing them together. Her hands were so soft and delicate, just touching them was a privilege. His own hands were not so soft. Toughened by hard work and hardened by intense training. He looked her in the eyes and just let himself get lost in them.

The hardness faded from his eyes, softened by her touch. Some of the things he had seen in his life and the people he met since he left home had left their mark on him... And sometimes they surfaced to remind him of the injustices of the world. He had been out on a limb for the longest time, just doing the best he could with no support of his own... But Myrcella's touch seemed to bring some of that stability back.

"I suppose a knight shouldn't get caught up with himself... Thank you, Mistress."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella smiled as Titus Phane didn't remove her hand this time. Instead he seemed to encourage her gesture and to her surprise, he had interlocked their fingers. Just that alone seemed to chase off any doubts that he was hers and she was his. They weren't yet married, nor had they shared anything more than a little kiss, but it didn't matter. They shared a want and need for eachother that seemed deeper than anything physical. Why else would they both risk so much for it?

"A lady can't let herself be caught up either. A lady always must keep her composure and grace, sometimes seen more often than heard." Her eyes held his gaze, as if she was reading his own. "But I suppose that we'll both create new definitions for our roles." Titus wouldn't try to keep her quiet like some of the noblemen would. More than likely he'd be encouraging her to speak her mind when she wanted to. He respected her enough for that.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus looked longingly into those eyes. He wanted to hug her and kiss her... But in his heart of hearts he felt... No... He knew that was wrong. If he tipped his hand for the desires of his flesh he stood to lose too much. His love for her was more than just the desires of his flesh as a man...

But how did one know he was in love? For some that is not a question so easily answered. Was it a feeling? The Messengers have a parable saying "The heart is deceptive above all things, who can know it?"
Was it an action? Did one experience love by what one did or how one acted towards another?
Some say if you love someone you must let them go... But did that always work?

For Titus it was far more simple, simply from a passage that described the traits of the God he believed in. While he stared at and massaged her fingers he recited the passage in a whispered voice.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends..."

When he was done it was like he came out of a trance. He held her hand up and pressed it to his lips.
'Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends'... And he was willing to jump in front of an arrow for her. He was willing to be put to the sword for her sake. But always he would be patient, he would bear and endure all things for her... And even if their love could never be, his love for her would never end.

He finally spoke to her directly, "You are the strongest of all of us, Mistress. 'So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.' And of all of these... You have love, Mistress."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella raised a brow. Not at Titus Phane massaging her fingers, but moreso in curiosity at what he was whispering. The words themselves were familiar, but the passages weren't. Still, it made her reflect on how she used to be compared to how she was now. And what it took was for her to be kidnapped and to learn what cruelty was...

He kissed her hand and for a moment she thought that he'd do more. Myrcella even leaned in slightly in anticipation of it. Yet Titus continued to speak. Perhaps it was some kind of prayer; she wasn't certain. But the words continued to pour out of him. She didn't really mind though as she found herself admiring his voice.

Yet as Titus spoke directly to her, telling her that she was the strongest, both of her eyebrows raised in surprise. "How could I be the strongest? Others have love too; like you, my mother and father, my brother and sister...I'm no different than them." She wasn't anyone special. She was merely a nobleman's daughter.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus looked back up into her eyes, "You are the strongest... Look what you have endured. No nobleman's daughter could go through that and still maintain a love for the people and world around them... A regular noble girl would be broken from such an experience and shut themselves from the world."

He gently twined and clasped his fingers with hers and held them there. "But not you, Mistress. You have changed... I can sense a stronger spirit residing within you that maybe you have not realized yet."

He put out his hand to caress her cheek, sliding down under her chin, "How can I prove it to you? How can I show you that with just a little faith you could move mountains? Break free of any shackles, tear any bars asunder, overcome impossible odds?"
He leaned forward, allowing himself to come dangerously close to kissing her on the lips again. His voiced lowered to a deeper whisper. "How can I convince you?"

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Titus Phane had such faith in her. He could see something within her that she couldn't. In truth she felt more like a deer; beautiful, fragile, timid in the outside world and prey to many.

But he saw her differently. And for a moment she wished that she could see what he saw, look upon herself through his eyes. Yet that wasn't possible.

As he caressed her cheek and drew so very close to her, Myrcella held her breath to hear him whisper. She wanted to kiss him desperately, to feel his lips on hers once again and maybe for longer than the kiss they shared earlier. But she didn't want to be caught by a maid either.

Myrcella squeezed his hand and spoke just above a whisper herself. "We'll go out for a ride as you suggested. Together we can face my fears and maybe I can believe that the world isn't so bad out there."

 

[Titus Phane]

She agreed to the outing, that made him happy. She was willing to try it.
He smiled and whispered, "You wont be disappointed, Mistress."

He couldn't stop himself. Her face was so close and her lips so inviting, and he could even see the willingness in her eyes. He leaned the rest of the way in and kissed her. It wasn't a deep kiss, but it wasn't a peck either. He pressed his lips against hers and just enjoyed the feeling. Chills ran up and down his spine. He moved his hand to gently cup the back of her neck and hold her close, her hair cascading over his hand. But he remained, as always, gentle.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

He did it again! Titus Phane was kissing her! It was as though he read her mind. Or maybe they shared the same wishes. Regardless his warm lips on her own made her body tingle. It only made her want more of it. As he cupped his hand behind her head, Myrcella leaned into the kiss all the more. Her eyes closed as she seemed to drink in every sensation of it.

And it felt...amazing!

Letting go of his hand, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she chose to deepen the kiss. Always though she kept an ear out for one of the maids. They had to keep a close eye on the hour, for soon she'd be getting help to change into her nightgown. Titus shouldn't be around for that.

Still, she wanted to savour every wonderful second.

 

[Titus Phane]

They were kissing... It was a hundred times better than when they kissed before! She put her arms around his shoulders and pressed them both into a deeper kiss. Titus began to grow confused, he couldn't tell who was who anymore. He couldn't tell where his lips ended and hers began. He felt his desire mounting inside of him and he began to lean forward, standing up from his seat and gently pushing her back in hers. His muscles tensing in his passion and desire to hold her against him.

Oh God he loves her! In his minds eye he could see himself kissing her, holding her close, touching her, kissing her neck and...
His own rational mind broke the illusion, sent it crashing down into dust. He realized what he was doing and he was at the very brink of going too far and committing a terrible sin. A sin against her, her family, himself, and his God.

He suddenly broke the kiss with a gasp for air. He put his hands on her shoulders and... he didn't push her away, but more like he pushed himself away from her, breaking free of her arms around him. Not abruptly or harshly, but with the utmost care for her. He blinked hard, clearing the fog of his passion from his focus.
"Forgive me, Myrcella. I nearly... lost..."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Oh it was like magic! Her heart fluttered in her chest as their kiss deepened. Just his touch sent goosebumps on the skin of her arms, yet she felt herself growing hot at the same time. That and she just wanted to melt in his arms.

Titus Phane pushed her back in her chair and she made no move to resist.

But then he did. Titus broke the kiss and stood up, taking in the breath that he couldn't have before. Myrcella understood, but in her mind it was just that neither wished to be caught.

"It's alright. That kiss will be enough to last me for some time. It was wonderful....Thank you." If this was love, she couldn't wait to have it every day.

 

[Titus Phane]

She forgave him, said it was alright. But he knew what he was about to do and it wasn't that simple. But he smiled anyways and took her hands in his again one more time.
"Please be patient with me Myrcella. It wont be like this forever, I promise."

He released her hands and stood up just in time when a knock came on the door. His heart leapt at the sound, and he quickly gathered the used dishes and made it look like he stayed busy. He wiped her lipstick off again and looked at her a final time.
"Goodnight, Mistress. I do hope you feel better soon."
He knew she wasn't sick, but he spoke for the benefit of the maid on the other side of the door to explain why he was alone with her.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

"I will be patient, Titus. I promise." Good things come to those that wait, or so the saying went. And that's what this was. A good thing. Myrcella just had to convince her family if that.

The knock at the door came abruptly. It was a good thing that she wasn't holding her tea! Titus Phane was quick to recover himself. Taking his cue, Myrcella nodded. "Yes, thank you. With your help, I'm sure that I will."

As he had left, the maid walked in. It was time for her nightly routine. She got to her feet and turned around so that the maid could undo her dress and corsette. "Titus must have been a healer in a past life. He is so gentle when treating my wounded feet. I can already be on them longer and with less pain."

"That's good news Mistress."

The maid did her work quietly, all the while Myrcella was plotting. "Tomorrow I'm going to try to go out for a ride on the property. I'd like to have you and Titus to ride along with me as my attendants. We'll make a picnic out of it, so long as I don't panic."

"Yes Mistress. I'll be sure to have the horses ready. Does her Ladyship know of this venture?"

"No, not as of yet. But I'll inform her in the morning. I'm sure that she'll be pleased." Myrcella, now free from the confines of her dress and corsette slipped into her nightgown before climbing into her bed. Once the maid had gathered her laundry and left, she closed her eyes and began to imagine what tomorrow would bring. Hopefully it'll all be good.

"

 

[Titus Phane]

As Titus delivered the dishes to the kitchen and completed his remaining duties of the day he thought long and hard on what he had decided to do. He would have to become dedicated. He would have to find a mentor. And he may even need to give up his duties as a butler for a time depending on what needs to be done. He also needed the permission of Lord Bochanan to pursue this path.
And first and foremost, he needed to pray. When a single man... a young man alone in the large world with dangers and darkness at every corner... Couldn't go on any further... He needs a God that is bigger than all of his problems.

Once his chores were done he went out into the garden alone before bed. He liked coming here when he couldn't go into the forest. It was private and peaceful and he could pray uninterrupted. He went to a bench and knelt with his elbows on the seat and his hands clasped together. He bowed his head and closed his eyes as he laid all his burdens at the feet of his God.

As he prayed he reflected. Some who belonged to other religions couldn't pray like this, at any time they desired and under any circumstance. Or without the guidance of a holy ordained priest. He knew of clerics who could call upon their deity for magical abilities and special blessings, but even those came at a cost from the follower. But one of The Messengers could pray to their God at any time and lay every problem or concern at his feet, as if every single person who believes in Him is already a high priest. And he will never tire or not have the time to listen to his children. He consistently WANTS his children to talk to him, even though he already knows every word they will say, are saying, or have said in the past, he still desires to hear His children speak to him.
The Messengers were like holy priests without being ordained, like judges without being elected, like kings without royal blood.

Titus was religious, but he never considered himself particularly so. This was just the life one led when serving the creator God of the world. So he prayed, because he wanted to speak to God and God wanted to hear from him. And he especially spoke to God of Myrcella, asking God to bless her and to keep her safe in his hands.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella slept well, her dreams filled with joyous scenes from her childhood, and some that were made up. But overall it was a good night.

The morning had her up a bit earlier than her usual. Perhaps the thought of going out for a ride with Titus Phane had a part to play in it. Regardless she was eager for the day to get started.

Myrcella slipped out of her bed, dragging some of the covers with her and wrapping herself in them. Then she went over to her door and opened it. Seeing one pf the maids sweeping, she smiled a little. "I'm awake. Could I have my breakfast and tea please?"

The maid was a little shocked at seeing her up and about, but she nodded quickly and set her broom aside before she alerted the kitchen staff.

Closing the door, Myrcella walked over to her window and pulled back the curtains to see what kind of a day it was. The skies looked pleasant. There were some clouds but none were threatening rain. Good!

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus had spent most of the night in prayer. When he went to bed he slept peacefully till the early dawn of morning, when he was accustomed to waking up. He dressed and began his morning routine, bringing meals to the rest of the family and seeing to the Lord and Lady of the house to see of any plans being made that he should be aware of.

He was about to go about some other minor chore when a maid informed him that Myrcella was awake and in need of breakfast. This was a surprise. She normally slept much later than this and he expected her to sleep even later due to her recent experiences... But perhaps she had grown after all.

Since it was his duty he collected the tray of food to be brought to Myrcella and made his way to her room. As was his habit he lightly tapped on her door. It seemed to be his signature that let everyone know it was him on the other side of the door.
It may have been the first time in years that he was able to bring her breakfast. Two eggs fried in the grease from the bacon and a garnish of freshly sliced apples on the side that were sprinkled with cinnamon.

He awaited patiently on the other side of the door.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella was eager for the day, eager for the ride and picnic for lunch. She was deep in her wardrobe, going through the various gowns that she had in hopes of finding something perfect for the ride, something that'll make her look beautiful for Titus Phane. He deserved to see her at her best, didn't he?

His knock was heard, causing Myrcella's heart to flutter. She smiled as she exited her wardrobe, fixing up her hair while she walked. "Come in!" She wasn't sure if he'd be alone or with one of the maids. But that was surely his knock. Hopefully her parents didn't have plans for her that would disrupt her own.