Private Tales Recovery

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella was brought home in the night from her ordeal of being a hostage. The first thing that she did after hugging her parents to death, before hugging the house staff and then out of exhaustion, she collapsed into her bed. She didn't bother to get changed, all that she wanted was her soft bed. How she missed being home. And being safe.

Morning came and went. It wasn't until the afternoon that she awoke. But she didn't stir. She didn't want to. Lest she discover that it was all a dream.

Her feet were blistered from all the walking that she had done. Bruises were on her arms, her jaw and her legs. It was a rough ordeal, but at least she got to keep her dignity.

Myrcella's nose caught the smell of food, her favourite dishes. A mere second later a knock came to her bedroom door. "...Come in..." Hopefully it was her favourite butler.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus entered the room on her permission. Ever since her safe return she slept and he brought her food on occasion if she should wake up and find herself hungry. This was one such errand and he was relieved when he heard her voice invite him in.

He opened the door holding a covered tray of food and stepped inside. "I am pleased to see you're finally awake, mistress! I have the afternoon meal prepared. Chicken pulled from the bone prepared on a hot grill and seasoned with savory herbs, with a garnish of vegetables stewed with the broth of the chicken."

He placed the food on the table and removed the lid, a cloud of steam was unleashed and mouthwatering smells filled the room. "The Lord and Lady requested that you eat first before I present the desert selection."

While Myrcella slept he would sometimes stare sadly at her battered state, but he decided to wait for her to awaken before tending to her.
So now Titus picked up the wash bowl, a couple of towels, and rolled up his sleeves. "If you like, I can tend your cuts and bruises while you eat, if you would permit me, mistress?"

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella slid herself up on the bed, allowing for the pillows to support her back. She smiled with relief that it was indeed her favourite butler entering the room. And with a delicious lunch as well. "That sounds and smells wonderful. I'm starving. I only had one small meal a day on my journey." That's how she tended to relay the story of her kidnapping. She called it a 'journey'. It sounded better and didn't stir up as many emotions. In truth it was very hard on her and it would take some time before she could feel brave enough to venture out of the house again.

She licked her lips as Titus Phane lifted the lid from the tray. And just as she was about to prepare herself to get started on it, he offered to tend to her wounds. At first she wasn't so sure, but then again Titus was bound to be gentle with her. He'd probably be beside himself if he ever harmed her.

"Yes you may. Is the water warm?" As well as food, Myrcella had been craving a hot bath or something to sooth her weary muscles. "And am I to eat BEFORE I know what dessert is?"

 

[Titus Phane]

"Yes, the water is warm."
He kneeled down and listened to her exclamation about the dessert and smiled chuckling, "They simply want you to eat real food before I bring in the sweats, Mistress. All the staff missed you very much, so the cook outdid himself."

He looked down quickly at the mention of her being missed by all, those words nearly broke his professional demeanor and he fought down the emotional outburst that threatened to sour the mood.

He lifted her right foot and rested it on his knee, placing the bowl of sun warmed water on the floor, he stopped, unwilling to remove her stockings without her expressed permission, "By your leave, mistress?"

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella was relieved to hear about the water. And what's more, she was pleased to hear that she was missed. Yes she had pulled pranks on some of them while growing up, but it was all for fun. Now she wondered if she had maybe taken some of them for granted.

"I missed you all too. There were many times when I had wished for at least one of you to be with me." Yet she was alone and had to survive by her own wit.

She nodded as he asked for permission to remove her stockings. "Yes you may." Myrcella knew that Titus Phane would be gentile with her. He always was. She reached over for the bowl of chicken soup and began to eat it carefully, so as to not spill.

 

[Titus Phane]

With a nod he gently reached up and began peeling her torn and damaged stockings down off her feet.
As she began eating he dipped her right foot in the warm water and used a wet rag and the water to gently but firmly scrub her feet, paying careful attention to the blisters and callouses on the bottom of her foot, he made sure he cleaned between the toes and didn't neglect any part. At the same time he cleaned her foot he also gently massaged it, using his hands to work the bad memories out of her through the very sole of her foot.

He draped a dry towel on his knee and placed her foot on it, taking the towel and drying her foot before placing both foot and towel down on the floor. He then took her left foot and began the process again, paying close and gentle attention to every bruise, scrape, and blister.

Doing this for his mistress felt like the first thing he did right since her disappearance. When she first went missing he was among the first to lead a search party, but to no avail. His skills of tracking were good, but even he could not follow where the trail led and eventually he lost them. With a heavy heart he was forced to turn back and wait for a miracle.

There were two soft dripping sounds as his tears fell in the water, he took in a shuddering breath to try to regain control but it didn't help and he let the tears flow freely. He kept his head bowed as he continued to wash her feet, trying to dry them while his own tears kept wetting them again.

His voice was a sob and a whisper. "I prayed... Every day... For your safe return, Myrcella."
The use of her name was so uncommon for him, but he didn't have the will to take it back. He was overcome by the joy of knowing she was finally safe and the boy only a year older than her spoke, his professionalism unable to express the joy in his heart.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Oh yes, Titus Phane was as gentle as she thought he would be. Myrcella ate her soup slowly, leaning back against the pillows even more so as he massaged her feet one by one, cleaning them very carefully.

But then she felt him shudder and....was he crying? She sat up a bit and heard him as he spoke her name. It was so informal, yet the emotions he bore along with his words were enough to justify his misstep in protocol. "Well your prayers worked. I am home and I am safe. I may not have been able to come home assoon as we'd of wanted, but with each passing day, I was treated less harshly. Maybe that was due to your prayers too. So...thank you very much for that." And she meant every word. If he was praying for her, there had to be some sort of magic or miracle as a result. "All that I could think about was getting home."

 

[Titus Phane]

He set her feet down on the towels to dry and he looked up at her, his eyes glistening. His voice was full of emotion but he kept it at an even tone above a whisper, "Mistress... I should have been there by your side. My purpose was to be there when you needed me... and I wasn't!"

He bowed his head again, he was still knelt before her, the tears had stopped and now he felt only shame, "I had one job... And I failed the most important part... I couldn't even find you."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Oh no. He was blaming himself! Myrcella set the bowl of soup aside and then leaned forward so that her face was closer to him and he could see her eyes. "I'm not blaming you for what happened, Titus. It was unexpected. The point is that you tried to find me. The point is that you cared enough to do so."

She let out a sift breath as she tried to think of what to say to comfort him. "Did you look after my family? Were you there to take care of them when they were worried? Because if you did than you did what I couldn't. And it's what I would have wanted you to do."

Myrcella looked out of her window for a brief moment. "And when I'm comfortable enough to go outside again, I'll want to have you with me. I don't want to be out there...alone." She knew that it was going to take some time for her to get over the trauma.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus looked up, his wet blue eyes met her beautiful green, "When we returned from the search I never left their side... It took all three of us to console your mother and your brother wouldn't sit down for even a moment. Your father worried night and day and it was all I could do to keep myself and the staff on task."

He realized that he had taken Myrcella for granted. He knew all about the dangers of being part of a noble family... But it never occurred to him that anything bad might actually happen to her. He hardened his resolve as she paused and looked out the window.
He wouldn't allow this to ever happen to her again. He already trained every day, but he decided to double his training regime, he wanted to be ready, and he would see to it that he would be there if it ever happened again.

"I will be by your side mistress. I swear that if it is at all possible, I will protect you from ever having to face that ever again!"

He seemed to regain his composure and stood up, "Now. You may want to finish that soup quickly so you can see what the cook made for you!"

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella gave Titus Phane a warm smile. He looked after them, just as she had hoped. It was better than to have him chasing them down. People died by the daggers and arrows of her kidnapper when they tried to free her. She tried not to think of their heads on pikes set around their camp.

"You're a good man. Such loyalty will always be rewarded." Maybe she'd give him one of her paintings. Or even make him a new one. That is when she felt the desire to pick up a brush. No doubt Titus would encoursge her to do so.

The change in subject was welcomed. Myrcella had forgotten about dessert! She picked up the bowl of now warm soup and began to eat it, almost slurping. Almost. Any split second that she did, Myrcella giggled. "This is the best soup that I've ever tasted."

 

[Titus Phane]

"I am glad you like it Mistress. Eat it all, you're going to need your strength. I'll inform a maid to get water running for a bath."

He stepped outside for a moment and wheeled in the tray table heavily laden with a selection of fruits and desserts and presented them to her. "What we have here is a variety of fruit flavored Ice cream with cherries and a garnish of flavored gelatin. Also present is a fruit laden chocolate cake. And this masterpiece, which the cook claims he got the recipe from the elves, is ice cream in an edible wafer bowl with assorted berries."

He regarded the sugary display, "Don't feel the need to eat all of it, it wont go to waste if the maids have any say in the matter."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

And she did eat all of the soup. Every last drop, giving iut a satisfied sigh right along with it.

Titus Phane soon came in with the treats and when she thought she was full, just the sight of those treats made her hungry again. "Ohhh...." It was almost as though it was her birthday. It seemed as though the cooks had celebrated her return. Oh she felt so special after this.

Myrcella set the bowl aside and then fetched a spoon from the tray. She then started sampling each dessert. Of course she couldn't possibly eat it all. But she wanted to try them in any case.

"These are delicious. They've really outdone themselves." The cold treats gave her a bit of a chill. Her bath was being drawn. Soon she could be enveloped in warm water to soothe her muscles.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus let her eat her fill as he busied himself with his other duties. He drew the curtains fully and allowed the full noon sun to enter the room. He retrieved her slippers and slipped them on her feet before taking the damp towels and placing them on the cart to be taken to the dumbwaiter. He took the dishes from her soup and placed them on the cart as well.

As she ate all she wanted he took those dishes as well, "Your bath should be ready soon, Mistress. As soon as you're ready I would encourage you to spend the rest of the day with your family. We all missed you and it's not fair that I be the one to take up your time."
A maid entered the room, "The Mistresses bath is ready."
Titus bowed to Myrcella and turned to leave with the cart. Before he left he turned back for a second with a warm smile, "Welcome home, Mistress."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella indeed ate her fill. She wanted to eat all of the treats, but knew that it'd only upset her tummy.

She nodded at the suggestion that Titus Phane made about her spending the say with her family, but some small part of her felt too ashamed to. She got kidnapped, and all while going to give her horse his bedtime snack. She was alone and the hunter took that as an advantage. There was a lot of shame in that. She didn't want to hear any scorn from it.

But she couldn't let such feelings stop her from getting coddled by her Mother. Maybe now she'll stave off of talking about Myrcella getting married anytime soon.

She looked to the maid as she came in, letting her know the bath was ready. "Thank you." Myrcella got to her feet, giving Titus a warm smile too. "I'll see you again soon." As she followed the maid to the baithing room, she found herself feeling drawn to the butler's kindness in a way that she hadn't felt before. Perhaps the warm bath would sort her out.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus delivered the dishes and towels to their designated areas. He had already done the majority of his chores and his duties didn't require his immediate attention at the moment. So he took the opportunity to change clothes and walk out into the woods. He found a fresh game trail and followed it for a ways into the woods.

He walked to clear his head and calm himself down. He needed to get his heart and thoughts in order for the sake of everyone who relied on him. Of course he was attracted to his mistress, he was from the start when he first came to work for the Bochanan family, but it simply wasn't appropriate for him to see himself with her even in fantasy.

If he wanted to continue working for the Bochanan family he had to keep a professional relationship with everybody. His parents relied on the money he and his sister sent them monthly. This was the best paying job available for a commoner like himself and he needed to get his priorities straight if he were to continue to support his family here.

He walked quietly through the woods for a while, occasionally picking up a stick and testing it for suppleness. When he found a satisfactory stick that was about as tall as he was he drew his knife and carved it down to shape. He withdrew a length of string from his pocket and secured it to the carved notches he placed at each end of the bow. He tested the raw bow by drawing the string back. It had a good pull on it and it didn't break at full draw. He looked at the bow and found himself thinking of Myrcella again, how he would have used a bow like this if it meant protecting her or bringing her home.

He stepped off the game trail a little ways and stopped at a patch of moss. He set his bow down, knelt in the moss, and began to pray fervently for guidance, "Lord... My life is torn. I feel guilt no matter which way I turn. When I look at my mistress I feel as if I am betraying my family... When I put my head down and hide myself away for the sake of my family I feel as if I am betraying myself and my mistress. Give me your guidance, give me your strength, because my strength is insufficient."

He could feel it getting late and he needed to return to his duties soon, "I place myself into your holy hands. It's in your sons name I pray, so be it."
He closed his prayer and stood to go, he recovered the string from his homemade bow and followed the tracks back to the mansion. As soon as he returned he went to his room to change back into his butler uniform. Then with a slight sigh he returned to his duties as Butler to the Bochanan family.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Oh that bath was heavenly! The warm water, the bubbles, even the milk added to it to make her skin all soft and smooth. Myrcella felt as though she could lay there forever. And whenever the bath started to feel a bit on the cool side, the made would pour in some freshly heated water.

During that time she thought of everything that happened. Her kidnapping was all part of a plot with other kidnapped victims to start a war among the nobles. What purpose that would serve, she had no idea. And she was still trying to puzzle it out.

Her thoughts would dwell on Titus Phane for a time and it made her feel...special. He made her feel that way. He went out of his way to do so. Was he like that with all of her family? She'd have to ask them, maybe. Not right now though.

Once Myrcella was way past the raisins for fingers and toes stage, she got out of the bath and had her maid help her dress.

By the time that Titus returned, she was in the art room that her and her brother would frequent. A paint brush was in her hair, tucked in behind her right ear, and another was in her right hand, while her left held the pallet of a variety of oil paints. A canvas sat on a tripod and her subject for the afternoon was a vase of wildflowers. It was a good way to pass the time, and was something that calmed her.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus was going about his duties when he came upon Myrcella in the art room. He had attended to her parents and brother for a bit while she took her bath and had also finalized the menu for the evening meal with the cook. When he inquired the aids told him where Myrcella was and so he decided to attend to her for a bit before dinner.

The door was slightly ajar but he knocked lightly on it anyways to let her know he was entering. He brought the tea tray with him as he walked into the room, "I trust your bath was pleasant, Mistress? I brought some tea in case you felt in the mood."
He placed the tray on a side table and admired the canvas and artwork. To his eyes she seemed to make the painting come to life and vibrancy as she put color and imagination together on the canvas, "That is beautiful, Mistress... It's good to see you pick up your brush again."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella didn't jump as the knock came. Titus Phane knocked so quietly that it didn't give her a small fright. Maybe he knew of her phobia to remain indoors. Even when her mother offered for her to go shopping, she refused, despite the fact that going to look at and purchase beautiful things was one of her favourite things to do.

"Yes it was lovely, thank you. I feel much better. Tea would be perfect." She set down her brush and pallet, neglecting the one tucked behind her ear. A smile graced her face as he seemed to admire her work. "Thank you. I thought that it was a good way to pass the time inside. Would you join me for tea?" That was probably inappropriate for her to ask, but right now she wasn't focused on protocol.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus was slightly stunned by her request but since it was a suggestion by his mistress he felt compelled to do so. He poured her some tea, serving it to her before he poured himself a cup and seated himself close by to continue looking at the painting. He sipped the tea and grimaced internally. He personally didn't like tea or very many hot drinks, actually having a preference to especially cold and refreshing water like one would find in a mountain stream over many other common drinks. But he didn't let his discomfort show.

He felt a little awkward sitting down with his mistress without a maid or one of her family present. He had made it a moral point to not do anything that would raise unfounded questions about his intentions... But she had also been through a very traumatizing experience and he simply did not have the heart to bring protocol as a barrier. Especially if she needed to talk to somebody, sitting down in private is the best way to properly console a person in distress.

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella took the cup in hand and had a sip as she sat down. For a moment she said nothing. At times she glanced to Titus Phane, only to redirect her gaze to her painting. It was difficult to figure out what to say. Her mind was drawing a blank. She just wanted him to be near her, tending to her. The washing and massaging of her feet earlier was just so wonderful that she wanted more of that.

"This tea is nice. And so is everything that I've had since I got back. I wasn't sure if I'd ever get home again. It was frightening to not know what was going to happen or who I was being taken to. I tried to escape a few times, but it never worked. Others came and whether they meant to rescue me or if they were just passing by, they were all killed. All of them. Just the thought of Father or my brother coming to the rescue scared me. I didn't want them to die with the others." She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't think that I ever want to leave home again, Titus." Was it wrong to feel that way? Probably. But right now Myrcella didn't really care.

 

[Titus Phane]

Titus listened, holding his cup idle in his hands. He tried to put himself in her situation, like his father had trained him to do since he was young. The mind is a powerful thing. Even if he wasn't a girl, he can imagine the vulnerability that his mistress might have felt. Being physically weaker than a man who would just as soon kill someone than avoid them entirely. Even though he had considerable skill he can imagine himself as powerless to stop the things happening around him... And what was worse is that he could imagine the fear that she felt... that his family might come to save him and meet the end of so many others before.

He shuddered as this exercise of the mind brought him understanding of how she felt... but also helped him form encouragement for his mistress, "Mistress... There is no way one could ask you to live with what you have been through... It shouldn't have been you when it happened... But it was." He took a deep breath before going on, he hoped that what he was saying was the right thing to say, "Mistress... the rain falls on both the good and the evil. We wish it never happened but what can we do to change that? I don't believe you were kidnapped because you deserved it, not for one second..."

Titus really hoped that he was saying what she needed to hear and he looked at her meaningfully as he came to his point, "Steel is tempered through heat and pressure, and us as humans are sharpened by conflict. I believe that this happened to you because God knew that you were strong enough to handle it as a test and become stronger because of it."

He let out a sigh as if he held his breath through his whole speech and he set his cup down.
"What noble woman could say that she had been through hell and conquered it? You had seen pain and death, it wasn't fair, but what can you learn from it that no other lady could learn in a lifetime of ease? What do you know now that you didn't know before?"

Titus shook his head and stood up, "Forgive me mistress... I'm out of line. Disregard my words. It's only the foolishness of a commoner... I have no right to assume that I am qualified to console you."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Myrcella listened quietly as Titus Phane gave her his wisdom on her whole experience. Was she stronger now because of what she had endured? Right now she didn't really think so. All that she wanted to do was to stay home, stay inside.

But that was letting her fear get the betrer of her. She wasn't always scared during her kidnapping. Instead she was searching for ways to lessen the bindings, to make things more comfortable for herself, and even to make her kidnapper see the error of his ways. And it worked! In the end it was her kidnapper that alerted the authorities to the other victims and have them all rescued. If she had just acted as a frightened little girl, then she wouldn't be back home now. She'd probably be in a cage.

As Titus stood up, Myrcella stood up as well and placed her hand on his that held the tea cup. "Please don't go. If I didn't think that it was your place, I wouldn't of asked you to join me. Your words help me, as does you're insight. I am being silly for wanting to stay indoors. Maybe even selfish..."

 

[Titus Phane]

She touched his hand and his heart leapt in his chest, his eyes widened from the shock but all he could think to do in that moment was freeze. She asked him not to go, told him that his words held meaning to her. He stood up in the first place to avoid crossing a line. But here she was, her hand on his telling him... No, pleading with him to not go.

Her touch drove thought completely from his mind, everything was a complete blank and he just stood there stunned, his mouth fallen open a bit in his dumbfounded state. After a moment a thought finally entered his mind, "Stop". He didn't know if he said it out loud, or very loudly in his head, but the words were directed to himself. He slowly placed his other hand over and gently removed his hand from under hers.

His thoughts and rational mind began to return in a slow trickle. After holding her hand for a moment he let go and sat down once more. He didn't know how to rationalize it in his mind so he said the only reasonable thing that came to his mind, "I apologize, Mistress... I am confused."

 

[Myrcella Bochanan]

Stop.

....Stop.

That's what both of them did. Both Titus Phane and Myrcella almost froze in place. Her breath held in her throat as she waited for...well she didn't know what exactly.

He took hold of her hand and for a moment she thought that something might happen in her favour. Yet it didn't. Instead he just removed her hand from his and then obeyed her wishes for him to stay. Is this what rejection felt like?

"I'm sorry." Her words were spoken just above her breath as she tried to reconcile her thoughts. She did wrong by him, she crossed the line. It wasn't as though anything could come of this anyways. She was a young Lady, bound to run a household of her own when married; and he was her family's butler. Anything coming between them would be forbidden.

"I hope you'll forgive me. I won't do it again. I suppose that I'm still just recovering from what happened." Myrcella sipped her tea, her shoulders slumped somewhat as she felt heavier than before.