Private Tales Momentary Bliss

[Gaage Eberwhit]

For the first time in quite a while, Gaage was actually looking forward to staying in one place and doing nothing today. Sure, the life of an exile was one that tended to be exhausting, with a seemingly unending list of tasks to perform for 'the greater good' or whatever their motive was. Still, whether he believed in the cause or not, he found getting out and finding a good fight was much better for his sanity than moping around over his situation, especially considering he's the one who'd gotten himself into the mess in the first place.

It probably helped that he'd stopped shacking up with other exiles wherever they were posted, and he rarely returned to Gilram anymore. No, he had his own little spot now, one where nobody with a respectable amount of brain in their skull bothered him without damned good reason. Sure he had to deal with assignments; the occasional messenger or mandatory meet-ups with some of the others, but they knew that if he wasn't with them, he was probably here, at this little cottage in the forest. Of course, if you told him that he'd be living out in the woods alone a year ago he'd call you an asshole and claim it'd drive him crazy, and sometimes it did.

That's why he'd invited her.

His reunion with Ysobel had been an unexpected one, but it had brought more clarity to his mind than he'd had... ever. One night with somebody he truly cared about, who he didn't have to fear would leave him behind had put this entire conflict into a much broader perspective that he hadn't viewed it from before...

Gaage Eberwhit didn't give a fuck about this war.

The city of Vel Anir had trained him to kill, and made it his duty. Even as an Initiate, he'd never had any grand visions of a higher status-- He was right where he'd wanted to be. When he'd left, he'd done it because somebody else offered the same thing, including somebody to love. It hadn't lasted long, but when it was all said and done, Eberwhit didn't feel as though he'd been left any worse off over it.

Ysobel's love made him realize that it wasn't just about him, though. He'd been a selfish prick his entire life. He'd left his two best friends in her and Zael over nothing more than a fickle-hearted woman and the promise that he wouldn't have to change. How had that hurt them? Ysobel... she'd grown into someone strong, but the mental wounds he'd inflicted had pained him to witness. Zael? He still wasn't sure. Would he have been able to ground him a bit? Maybe stop him from losing his shit and getting himself into trouble? Gaage didn't know, but the questions he'd never asked himself before now kept him awake at night.

He'd always sought to be left to do as he pleased, but it had become clearer and clearer that such a dream would never be so long as the people he cared about most were so deeply involved in what he wished to escape. There were still people counting on him. Chasmine, for all of her coldness, had asked him to be somebody she could depend on. Ysobel leaned on his love. Zael relied on him as a brother. Eberwhit couldn't bring himself to let them all down again.

So he'd remain, for now.

Today would be a day for one of those three, the scrappy blonde woman who'd snatched his heart not too long ago. She'd sent word that today was the best time to meet, and Gaage had kept himself busy all morning to quicken the time until her arrival. A bit of sparring with a loaded sack of flour hoisted to the ceiling of his home, tugging the bones out of another fresh kill from the woods to sharpen his magic and have something ready to cook, and a bath to wash off the sweat from the aforementioned tasks.

Now, he waited. Nerves clawed at the back of his thoughts as he leaned against the thick wooden fence he'd built around the property, a mug of ale from the hefty barrel he'd bought from the elves about a week prior nursed in his hand as he took odd swigs of it. He hadn't told her about the house in the letters... it was meant to be a surprise. A safe place for the two of them. Somewhere they could be alone, and be themselves, without their respective allegiances breathing down their necks.

Hopefully, she'd see it as such, otherwise, this could be a short night, instead of a fun one.

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Ysobel had taken her time in responding to Gaage’s letter, pondering over what she could possibly write. So many things had changed since their first meeting and, truthfully, she was unsure if she should have followed the map he’d attached. Especially since her last sleepover with Lumen, Ysobel had been feeling very, very lost.

It wasn’t that she no longer loved him, no. Anyone could see right through her. It was impossible to not know who was on her mind every hour of the day. Rather, certain developments on her end had changed the course of her life. Their lives, maybe. It all depended on this meeting.

Speaking of Lumen…

Ysobel didn’t know whether she hated her or if she was grateful for her best friend’s overly-observant nature. (And lack of ‘keeping her trap shut when no one asked for her opinions’). It didn’t really matter. In the end, and all but confirmed by the sheaf of sprouted barley she kept in her cloak’s pocket, Lumen had been right in her assumptions. Of course, Ysobel said nothing to anyone about her condition- especially not Lumen. Surely such news would not bode well for her.

The initiate’s secret relationship with a traitor to Vel Anir? Probably not her best look.

An initiate conceiving a child with a traitor to Vel Anir? Probably worse.

Eventually, when she had finally summoned enough courage to respond to the letter, she had decided to tell Lumen only she had told her she was leaving on a different day and swapped the map Lumen had snatched from her with one leading somewhere in the opposite direction to buy some time. It was unlikely Ysobel would return any time soon, if at all.

None of this was made clear in the letter she sent back to Gaage. Her normally barely legible handwriting was even worse as she smudged it with her tears while writing. All that could be read now was that she would see him on a certain date signed with an “I love you.”

A day later, she would leave just before sunrise and continue her travels.

---

A house in the Falwood made Ysobel a little nervous, admittedly. She had never really thought good or bad of elves until her mission, her first with Gaage, in these woods. A shock went down her spine, memories of the blade in her side flooding her head briefly until the house on her map finally came into view.

And then…him.

She nearly fell off of her horse, trying to get down before running straight for him and slamming her body into his with a silent embrace lasting several minutes.

A voice muffled by his chest could be heard, "I've missed you."

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Gaage had probably read over Ysobel's last letter a dozen times trying to make out what the hell she was trying to tell him, but the girl obviously was having a rough time, and he didn't blame her for that. He was pretty certain she'd promised to show up though, so whatever was eating at her, the two of them could face it together. That's how that cheesy couples teamwork shit worked, right?

The booze was enough to dull his nerves over the whole situation, and he hadn't even drunk much of it yet. That being the case, he set the half-empty mug on top of the fence post right about the same time he heard the hooves of a horse trodding down the path and out of the woods into the clearing where he'd set up shop.

Eberwhit raised his head, for a moment dreading what he'd see. A messenger from Gilram? A local elf getting too curious? He was in a foul mood as it was waiting like this, he was liable to crack any skulls not attached to his girl.

No, as soon as he saw that blonde head of hair all but launching herself from her horse and sprinting towards him he knew he was worrying too much. Gaage leaped over the fence easily, a smile splitting his face as he opened his arms and caught her as she fell into them. All that anger and frustration seemed pretty fucking trivial as soon as he had her with him again, and his arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her close.

"Missed you too, Yoh... Glad you came."

Pulling away, Gaage quickly brought his face down to kiss her, one he aimed to make last. He'd been deprived of it for far too long, and he doubted she felt any different. Already she'd brought that warmth to his body that had driven him half-mad the last time they were together.

Get yourself together, Eberwhit. You have all damn day.

Breaking the kiss, the redheaded exile turns to look behind them, his smile turning to a shit-eating grin as he nods toward the cabin.

"Remember that surprise I told you about? Ysobel, meet Casa de Gaage."

 

[Ysobel]

In her head things had gone a lot differently. For one, she would stroll up casually and dismount the horse like a civilized woman. And she certainly wouldn’t sprint full speed straight into the man whose body was more brick wall than human flesh from how hard Gilram had him working. Like really? What the hell was going on with the exiles? Mystery man Gilram had them building houses now? And. For. What.?

Second, she had not prepared for the kind of kiss that made her head spin. All of the feelings she had lingering around, waiting since their last meeting came rushing into her heart. The feeling of his arms wrapping around her, pulling her tight. Gods she missed him. At least he pulled himself away before Ysobel could pull herself up and wrap her legs around-

Remember that surprise I told you about? …

"Eh?"

Oh right, surprises.

He’d see a muddled look on Ysobel’s face as he moved out of the way to show off the cabin. What the hell is a Casa-day? Caeso de? She would ask herself, looking back and forth between the cabin and his cocky expression. Admittedly, it took an embarrassingly long time before it clicked.

He. Built. A. House. For. HIM!

Gaage. Eberwhit! Himself!

Not Gilram!

The confusion shifted to an excited smile. “This is so much better of a surprise than I had.” She pulled on his hand in an attempt to drag him towards the cabin with her. “Does this mean no more running? No more hiding? I can write to ONE ADDRESS without worrying it won’t get to you?” Her words came at a mile a minute. “And I don’t have to worry about you fighting poor normal people in street fights for money? Or getting arrested? Or captured and interrogated by less kind dreadlords?”

She turned to face him, excited tears in her eyes, as she approached the front door. She couldn't be more proud of him. “Is this really all yours?”

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

For his part, Gaage wouldn't have had the reunion any other way. The hasty spring into his waiting arms, the fervent kiss they melted into like it was the easiest thing in the world... those were little things that drove him crazy over her. Nobody before Ysobel had ever acted so deliriously happy to see him. Not Delany, and certainly not Niamh, for the brief period that fling had lasted.

She made him feel like he mattered. That was intoxicating.

Still, the way she stared up at him with a mixture of unreadable emotions in her eyes after they finally pried themselves apart worried him a bit. Something had happened; Yoh was never good at hiding when something was bothering her, and she wouldn't be doing the wounded puppy face if everything was peachy and shit.

Before he could ask what was up, what he'd told her finally seemed to dawn on her, and she all but squealed in delight, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer to the small little cabin. It wasn't all she made it sound like, gushing over what a life improvement it would be for him... just a few rooms cobbled together with a basic understanding of architecture from a few books he swiped from a library in Fal'Addas.

He wasn't particularly proud of it, but... seeing how happy it made her made him reconsider a bit.

"Yeah, I suppose it does mean all those things." He laughed, raising an eyebrow as she nearly wept over the revelation. She was... awfully emotional. For a moment, alarms rang in the back of his head, but he dismissed them. It had been a while since they'd seen each other. "You're wrong about one teensy little detail though, Yoh, nothing major... but I'm gonna correct you anyways."

The exile stepped forward, bringing the hand that wasn't held tightly in hers up to brush some of the wayward blonde locks from her brow. Eberwhit's face brightened, eager for the full reveal.

"It's all ours. To be together in. No more hiding in taverns and inns. Here... even if it's just for a little bit, we can be normal. Doesn't that sound fuckin' sweet as hell?"

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

“-I mean I didn’t even know you were learning the Elvish language considering…you know…everything we’ve spent our lives training for but I guess it’s good to know some of their words. Gaage’s ‘casa’ house! I love it!” Ysobel had never been the best at letting anyone else get a word in when she was excited, but something he said had shut her up.

It’s all ours.

Tears breached her wide eyes and she just stared at him in silence for a moment.

“O-ours?” Her words were merely a whisper.

She was overjoyed in her assumption that this was for him, but for both of them? She was…happy…but feeling faint. “Ours…” She repeated herself, more thoughtful than the overwhelming excitement she seemed to burst with a short while ago.

She was happy. Over the moon. But worried all the same.

How long had he been planning this? She wondered. Just for the two of us. ‘Ours’ certainly didn’t refer to the new addition. Her thoughts continued to race. How would he react when two became three?

Even the blind could see that she was completely and absolutely head over heels for him. But as she was now realizing, she knew very little about him other than the fact that they loved one another deeply. She didn’t know his thoughts about children or if he’d even wanted a family especially after his own betrayed him.

It wasn’t like she could just ask what his plans for the future were. Last time she did, he blew up on her in the middle of the city and then he let her leave in tears while he went and did god knows what with god knows who. What a shit show that was. True, they were not together and she was only asking about his plans after graduation, but who was to say this was any different in his mind?

Doesn’t that sound fuckin’ sweet as hell?

The blank stare that accompanied the color draining from her face shifted into a small but genuine smile as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around torso. She hoped to him it would seem like a hug, but really she was only trying to steady herself.

“I love it.” She tilted her face upward. “I had a rough ride, can we go inside and maybe eat something and sit down?”

Gaage Eberwhit

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

He was never good at reading women, not even Ysobel. The myriad of different looks her face went through as she mulled over what she'd said to him was either confusing or concerning, and he honestly couldn't say which. She seemed happy, a smile on her face as she repeated the operative word, 'ours'. But at the same time... she didn't? There was something else there, something he couldn't put his finger on.

Honestly, it kind of scared him.

Gaage winced. Too much? True, they'd only been doing... 'this' for a few months, but he felt a hell of a lot stronger for her than anybody he had before. If you asked him, he loved her. If you asked him what love was, though... well, he wouldn't have a very good answer for you. It wasn't something he understood yet. Not really. It just felt right. Wasn't that enough?

They didn't teach this shit back at the Academy.

Seemingly in her own haze, Yoh hugged him. Rather, she fell into his arms. Despite his worries, his arms came up to wrap around her as his smile returned. Right, she needed a tour, some grub. Maybe that would make her feel better. If something was wrong with her, she'd tell him, obviously. Probably just snacky, which sounded like her.

"Y-yeah." He grinned down at her. "Let's go get something to eat and catch up, yeah?"

He kept an arm around her as he opened the door and took her inside. It might have been a bit much to call the interior of the house amateur, but it clearly wasn't finished yet. Gaage seemed to be in the process of stripping bark off of the walls and smoothing them out, but he'd only done the bedroom and half of the main room the two of them now walked into. There wasn't anything covering the planks of bare wood on the floor just yet, so he'd tossed some rugs over the most walked spaces.

Probably the most notable think was the lack of a table. A few comfy enough looking chairs had been placed around the main room with an empty space in the middle, and tucked against a wall was a small table with three legs, placed on its side so it wouldn't topple over.

"Only got it started about a month ago." He explained as he led her to a seat. "It's a good workout, cutting wood. So I thought I'd make the furniture myself too." He seemed to swell with pride at that fact, before looking over at the propped table. "Turns out getting legs to equal length is a bitch in the ass."

Once Ysobel sat down in the well-cushioned chair, Gaage slides over to the cupboards in the small kitchenette across the sitting area, grabbing a few things and turning his head behind him to look back at her.

"You like jerky, Yoh?"

 

[Ysobel]

“Thank you.” She noticed him stuttering, but she was oblivious to his feelings. Like him, she was never good at reading people. Probably why she really only had one friend and a handful of things that never worked out.

She took advantage of the arm around her, keeping herself steady until she felt like she could walk on her own again. She was grateful to Gaage for that, and equally grateful that she didn’t think he had noticed her changes in mood or…whatever this was. Not even the clear skies seemed to take notice of her cloudiness.

“Only a month? You don't say.” She raised a brow, taking in the view as she took her seat. It wobbled slightly, but he had worked hard so she wouldn’t laugh. “You’ve done a wonderful job, Gaage. And it’s done wonders for your body-” She cupped a hand over her giggling mouth as if to stop herself from hitting on him. She was nowhere near ready for his- their bedroom tour. She had some information she needed to know before they fucked each other silly.

Deep conversations were a rarity with Ysobel. She always claimed she wasn’t interested, but mostly she was afraid of finding out things she didn’t want to know about herself or others. Time to avoid such a thing had run out. There were things about Gaage she needed to know. And things about her that Gaage should know.

She never believed Gaage was a bad person. No. Even after all he had done to betray his people. Still, he was an undeniable hot-head. Just like her. She would admit, though it did hurt her to talk about, that she had lost control before and she had hurt other people. Ysobel didn’t know if it was the same for him.

“Can I ask you something? A lot of things actually.”

You like jerky, Yoh?

Their voices overlapped, but she caught the word jerky. Perhaps even worse, she caught the smell of it. Of course, he had offered her the one food group she’d been avoiding since all of this started. Her stomach stirred. An all too familiar feeling began to creep up her throat and she knew it was too late to fight it. Her eyes darted around for any type of vessel she could get to quickly, but she didn’t know where anything was in this fuckin’ house.

Not again not again not again. Fuck.

She whispered, “I’ll be right back,” as she stood from the chair and bolted out the front door. Around the corner of the house, Ysobel was hunched over and vomiting into a flower bed. At least the rain would wash it away. She couldn’t have said the same for his pots and pans.

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

For a little while, everything seemed back to normal. It seemed his theory that Yoh was hungry or just overwhelmed had some merit then, which was a hell of a fucking weight off of his back, that's for damned sure. Once she'd sat down, she began sounding just like the Ysobel who'd swept him off his feet, metaphorically anyways, in that tavern a few months ago.

Jerky wasn't the only option he had to eat, and a few more cans were placed alongside the packages of dried meat strips he'd made from scratch a few days ago. As he looked over everything to make sure it was all still good, the compliment over his physical condition wasn't missed. He snickered, tucking that comment away for use in... oh, he'd give them an hour before they decided they needed to get physically reacquainted with one another.

"Let your food settle and I'll do some wonders to your body too, Yoh." He quipped back at her, but by the time he turned around to give her a smug grin to go with it, she'd launched herself from the chair with quickly muttered words and flew out of the house like she'd seen a fire.

After taking a quick look to make sure there wasn't a fire burning down the building and he'd somehow missed it while thinking of plowing his girlfriend, he dropped the food on the countertop and followed her trail. And what a trail it was... Eberwhit saw the thin trail of upchuck from just outside the front door to where Ysobel stood now, unloading her stomach into the flowers.

Alright, scratch that, something was going on. And she was just going to have to fuckin' tell him.

"Ysobel... you okay?" Gaage's hand reached out to rest on her shoulder, worry creasing his face as he ran his palm across her back comfortingly, until she was ready to stand straight again. When it looked like her sudden sickness had passed, he tilted his head, brow furrowing as he pursed his lips.

"You're not telling me something. With all the shit we've been through, I don't want any more secrets or regrets."

He'd already found enough regrets to last a lifetime. If he was serious about this crazy woman, and he sure as shit was, they needed to cut the crap and be clear about shit.

"Out with it, Yoh. I promise I'm not leavin'."

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Breathe in…Breathe out…In…Out…In… oh!

The hand on her shoulder startled her. Her body stiffened at his touch. She hadn’t heard his approach. She nodded, but didn’t respond immediately. Not until she had finished wiping the vomit off of her face with the back of her hand and turned to face him.

She was quiet, letting him speak, or rather demand answers from her. Her bloodshot eyes scanned his face as he did so. She wanted to trust that he wasn’t lying. She wanted to believe he would keep this promise, but she wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.

He wanted to know everything, so she’d tell it all.

Carefully, she reached into the pocket of her cloak and pulled out the sheaf of sprouted barley. She would place it into his hand and close his fingers around it while she talked.

“I’m not going back to the Academy,” She began with the statement that broke her heart to say aloud. “Of course, I didn’t know about this…place. I didn’t intend on forcing you to house me. I’ll work. I’ll join you...and Gilram...if you’ll still let me when I finish what I have to say.” Her strained eyes met his for a moment before locking onto something behind him. “Or you can tell me to leave. I won’t hold it against you.”

Another deep breath and she continued. “I’ll be honest. I am realizing now that we don’t know anything about one another. I don’t even know your favorite color, hobbies you have, what your life was like before you were taken into the academy.” True to her nature, her voice increased in speed the more she talked. “My favorite color is blue, I love writing, and I lived on a farm with a million brothers and sisters.”

Breathe.

“I don’t even know if you had siblings or…or…” She pointed towards his hand, closed around the sheaf. “Or if you even want children in the future.” She wasn’t convinced he would understand what she was even referencing with her frantic rambling and finger pointing. “Gaage...I think I am pregnant."

Gaage Eberwhit

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Oh.

It was funny, the way reality could smack you in the face with the force of an Ogre's fist with a single word. Oh, he'd been listening, to every word Ysobel said. None of it had made a bit of sense though. Staying with him? Leaving the academy? Working for Gilram? None of it was why they'd arranged this meeting and she knew it. He'd asked why she was being so fucking weird, and it seemed like she was dodging the question.

Until she wasn't. And then, nothing she'd said before that magic word mattered.

Pregnant.

Gaage looked even more flustered than she did, the color draining from his face as he took a step back. They... well yeah they'd been meeting up and messing around but... he'd never thought about... His face was unsure what to do, what expression to make. Ultimately the one it settled on was pursed lips and eyes to the ground as he processed the news. Well, process was generous. He accepted it, but it would be long before it fully settled in.

"I..." He started, and trailed off, a confused look washing over him as he looked over to the side, at nothing, his arms suddenly unsure of what to do, crossing and uncrossing as he struggled to speak-- his tongue felt like it was tied in a goddamned knot. "Y-you have a kid? My kid?"

Yes, you dumbass, that's what she just said.

A hand came up to his face, and he let out a long sigh to try and get his shit together. "Well... Shit Yoh. I didn't mean to... I didn't know..." The hell was he supposed to say? 'Aw sweet. Let's go inside and get that little sucker comfortable, only a few months before we have our little political-criminal!' This wasn't something they could brush over, or ignore. It was gonna happen, and it would change everything.

Ysobel... she didn't want to go back because of the kid.

He'd gotten used to the sting of guilt since he'd left and it came right back to bury itself in his gut. Who gave a shit about how he felt? He was flipping Ysobel's entire life had been flipped upside down because of him. Nothing would ever be the same for her, and it was his own damned fault for being a horned up bastard.

Quietly, he stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly to his chest and tucking his face into her blonde locks.

"Okay." He finally spoke with an even voice, a low, comforting tone. "It'll be alright, Yoh... I promise. Let's go inside and talk about it."

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

Gaage looked worse than Ysobel felt. The nausea and guilt couldn’t compare to the look on his face as the color drained and he stumbled back. Poor thing appeared as though he had seen a ghost. No, it looked like he would have preferred that over visit that Ysobel had now soured with her news.

Ysobel had never been good at gently delivering bad news.

She let him try to speak, listening to the scrambled, awkward combinations of words he put together. Questions. Apologies. She understood it- the apprehension and all of the feelings that must have been flooding his mind. Unlike her, he didn’t have to process them all alone within the dark walls of the Academy. At least he had her here to comfort him.

However comforting the presence of the person who was actively ruining your life could be.

“It’s alright.” She made an attempt to calm him as he pulled her close. Did she believe her own words? Absolutely not but she could feel the guilt in his voice as he tried to speak. “You do not have to apologize, Gaage. This is not your fault.”

Half-true. It takes two to tango.

But Ysobel had the choice to drink the tea Lumen brought her and she chose not to. Instead she abandoned them, all the same as she had screamed at Gaage for doing. She made the decision not only to change the course of her entire life, but bring him down with her. She was an awful person for that.

On the other hand, he deserved to know.

Did it justify everything she was doing to the pair of them? Perhaps with time, she would have an answer.

Let’s go inside and talk about it.

She nodded in agreement, letting him lead her back inside to talk. She took off her cloak and tossed it aside before taking a few steps back toward where they were before. The food was still out. Her stomach was still churning at the thought of it. He hadn’t given her a tour of the small cabin but fuck it, she was gonna have to find somewhere else to talk unless he wanted all of his plants to be covered in vomit.

“If you want me to leave, I will.” She started off on a cheery note, taking a seat on the edge of his…their(?) bed. “I know you are busy. I don’t want to intrude in your life if you won’t let me. I am being completely serious. If you let me stay…if you want me to stay, I will work. I will work for Gilram or whoever it is until I can no longer do so. Just tell me what you want.”

Gaage Eberwhit

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

It was an odd situation, where both of them felt they were truly at fault, when really they'd both fucked up. He'd apologized, then so had she, and they both looked fuckin' miserable for it. But really, Gaage wasn't sure exactly how he felt about the situation. The haze he was in as he walked back inside with the mother of his child tucked in his arm was a confusing concoction of emotions, so entwined he couldn't single out any of them in particular.

How long had she known? Surely a while. Likely she'd intended on spilling her guts metaphorically before she'd spilled them literally. If he'd had an inkling of what this little get-together was actually about... he'd have probably been a smidgen more mindful about things. Something to be said about girls and dramatic reveals, he thought with a smirk that broke through his dazed stare as Ysobel sat on the edge of his bed. It was a nice, bed; he'd been sure to get one with enough room for the both of them.

“If you want me to leave, I will.”

Eberwhit raised an eyebrow, leaning back on his dresser with his arms crossed as she began to make pleas, bargaining with him before he'd even had a chance to speak. In typical Ysobel fashion, she ran at a mile a minute, as quick as the lightning she held control over. Her words were troubling, but the speed with which she spoke them made him smile and relax. Baby on board or otherwise, she was still Yoh.

And when she finished, he'd figured out what he wanted to say.

"Of course, I don't want you to leave, you damned goof." He muttered, standing straight and uncrossing his arms as he stepped closer to her. "I built this whole fuckin' place hoping we could stay in it together, but..." Gaage paused, reaching to pull a small wooden chair that sat against the wall over, and sitting across from her. It was an interesting reversal of roles from the last time they'd had a 'serious' chat in a bedroom, but that irony was lost on him. "...I'm not asking you to work for Gilram. I can't let you betray your friends over this, Yoh. Over me."

Leaving was a desicion Gaage had replayed in his head almost every night. Some nights he wished he'd stayed, others he agreed with the choice he'd made. But Gilram? He never should have gotten involved in his business. Whatever that guy was up to, it was bad news.

"If you insist on leaving the city, and I understand why you would..." he continued, with a nod towards her stomach. "I don't want you to also take up arms against all the people you care about back there. Exile is one thing, but treason is another. I don't want that for you. I don't want that for... well, our kid."

Biting his bottom lip in thought, Gaage leaned forward, bringing a hand underneath Yoh's chin to tilt it up so he could place a kiss onto her lips. He spoke quietly, softly to her.

"The only thing this changes is I have two people I want to protect now. I still love you, and it's gonna take a lot more than a little runt to ruin that."

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

She always spoke as though she were trying to give someone whiplash with her frantic words, but when she was done she finally fell silent giving Gaage the chance to speak up. Of course he rejected her offer to work with him. In any other scenario she would have rolled her eyes and ignored him, but now he’d be met with a pleading look as he leaned in close.

“It’s too late for that.” She commented dryly, halting any further progression of their closeness for the time being. There was still too much to say. “And I know you’d never ask for that, but it is a choice I made. Let me come with you. I’m not just going to sit around and dust the house all day, Gaage. I’ll go insane. And forget it if you’re going to suggest I work with the elves.”

She leaned backward and sighed, shutting her eyes while she thought of what to say. She was embarrassed, feeling hurt that he didn’t want her working alongside him. A pang of worry came with fleeting thoughts of Delaney and her uncertain fate.

She didn't think he killed her, but bringing it up would certainly give the impression that she believed it. Truly, she wished that were the case. The death of Delaney, as morbid as it may be, would have brought her some relief. Even the thought of her dying at the hands of the man she loved was more comforting than the thoughts of her looming in the shadows...somewhere...

Ysobel was afraid of being alone.

Or rather not being alone.

“As far as anyone knows, aside from Lumen, I might as well be dead. I can’t go back there after this. This kid’s existence is an act of treason, surely. So what am I supposed to do? Disappear for a year and show up with a kid who's got your bright-ass hair and hope no one asks any questions?” She paused. Something clicked.

“I didn’t want to leave. I don’t want to run. I don’t want to fight my family.” I have no choice. She locked eyes with him and leaned forward, grabbing his hand and placing it over her stomach. “But I have a new family to protect. So let me. Please. That's all I ask of you.”

Gaage Eberwhit

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Gaage hovered there as she layered on her reasonings and pleas, his eyes traveling from face, down to her ever so slightly misshapen stomach, and back up again. His back found his chair again, and a low sigh spilled from his lips. Once again, Ysobel surprised him. Not with her reasonable logic-- she was pretty sharp, despite his teasing-- but with how well she'd communicated those feelings.

There was no confusing those words. No getting lost in them.

"You're right." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and holding the sides of his head in his hands, as if that would make this any easier. "It... It ain't fair of me to expect you to sit on the sidelines, to do nothing while everybody else is out there fighting for -something-. I'd go fuckin' crazy if it was me." He acquiesced, skimming over the elf comment. That may or may not have been his next suggestion...

"You're my girl, but you're a grown fuckin' woman..." He slid his hands to his lap and trained his amber eyes on hers again, managing a little smile. "You can make your own choices as to what's best. I sure as hell didn't ask you before I made my choice, did I?" It was spoken with subtle bitterness, aimed both at his own brash decision and the results of it. His departure had led them here, had led to her having to make this awful terrible decision she was now forced into.

He had to own up to that.

Ysobel reached out and gripped his hand, pressing it against her gut as she put her foot down and stood her ground. Eberwhit nodded, pulling his hand away gently and standing from his seat.

"Alright. I'll... talk to Gilram. See if we can give you something to do. Just... give me a couple days, yeah?"

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

You’re right.

Of course she was.

When wasn’t she?

She knew she was right. All throughout her panicked ramblings and jumbled up feelings, she was still right and it would remain that way. Sure, she may humor him and any suggestion he had but, stubborn to the core, Ysobel was going to get her way in the end. With or without him.

She hoped he would choose the “with” option.

“I’m your girl?” There was a subtle shift in her mood. Her brows, upturned with concern now returned to their neutral position. The corners of her lips twitched. Big golden eyes looked to sparkle with the hint of excitement that brewed deep within her. She’d never been anyone’s anything (other than perhaps a nightmare), and now he was calling her his?

She did not notice the bitterness in his words over her own happiness as he pulled away and stood to leave.

“Not now.” She held onto the bedpost and leaned forward, grabbing the hand he pulled away from her. “There’s no rush. Just stay here with me for a while.”

Gaage Eberwhit

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

“I’m your girl?”

She said it like there was any question. Of course she was, wasn't she? For a brief moment, Eberwhit realized that maybe he should have defined them a bit more thoroughly before they'd gotten to the point of becoming parents. Another rookie mistake, he supposed, but at least this one he could fix.

"Yeah." He nodded, willingly taking her hand and letting her pull him down to sit on the bed beside her. "You are my girl. I wouldn't have made this house for us if you weren't." It wasn't so much a question of whether or not they were a couple, more a blunt declaration. "That's why I worry about you. Because..." Gaage shrugged, laying back on the bed with a huff.

"...I already lost somebody over this stupid war shit. I don't want to lose you too, Yoh."

It was a refreshingly honest admission-- Despite their relationship, the pain from Lennox's disappearance was still fresh. He'd loved her too, and she'd vanished into thin air. Opening up to Ysobel had been hard for that reason; what if she vanished too? Eberwhit wasn't sure he could go through all that a second time.

Slowly, Gaage slid his hand up her arm to rest in her blonde locks, turning his head to look over at her with a soft smile.

"As long as you're with me, I can bear just about anything, y'know?"

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

I already lost somebody over this stupid war shit….

There was a twinge of jealousy that Ysobel felt upon his mention of the ‘somebody’ as if there were any reason she should feel any sort of way about a situation that never involved her. Especially now, when he was confirming for her that she was his, and her alone. Whatever. She swallowed hard and wiped a tear that had been making its way, uninvited, down her cheek. Just another instance in which she was feeling too many things at once.

“I told you I’m not going anywhere.” She pulled herself closer and locked her arms around him. “I should be the one saying that I don’t want to lose you. You know I never left the academy. I really truly thought you were gone…”

She had never been quite honest with Gaage about her feelings. Any time she tried, the tears or the lightning seemed to beat her mouth and what she wanted to say had never gotten the chance to see the light of day. It was an unfortunate truth- and one that Gaage would know too well by now. She had never been quite able to handle her emotions. But he could receive a complete wreck of a woman or a girl so numbed to the world around her from the pills the academy had forced down her throat.

“It's hard for me to tell you how I feel.” Her voice was slightly muffled. “I know it is silly to dwell on the past, but I have loved you since we first met. Sitting in a cart traveling around the forest for crates of whatever the elves were stealing from us. You saved my life that day and you never had to. I don’t think any other initiate would have cared enough to try to carry an injured person back. Let alone wait four days to see if they woke up.”

Yes it was silly, but she was holding onto even her good feelings for far too long.

“I know you’ll think I’m crazy but I really wanted the first thing I saw to be your face if I ever woke up.” She looked up at him, a smile cutting through her tears. “I don’t know why you calling me an idiot made me love you, but it did. Maybe something’s wrong with me. I don't know. And I wish I could stop fucking crying but I just love you. Like...a lot. And the entire time you were gone I was a disaster. I made so many mistakes because I was hurting and you probably hadn't even spared a thought for me."

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Ysobel's words were bittersweet and double-edged, but Gaage listened to every single one of them as she slowly curled into him. They hadn't gotten into the details regarding her feelings for him before. She'd not expressed a word of affection for him until it had all burst from her in one passionate thunderstorm in that tavern room they'd reunited in. Now that she spoke so openly, it made Gaage too reminisce about their past.

He'd seen her as little more than an inexperienced, ditzy child when they'd first been inexplicably paired together on that mission to take out the elven smuggling camp. To even be stuck with her was an annoyance, a crutch. Being as cocksure as he was back then, he didn't see any reason why he'd need to be saddled with some random chick who thought she was as good as him.

But even back then, though he was loathe to admit it at the time, she'd grown on him over the course of their time together. She was brazen, but she backed it up with her actions; She didn't take a second to think twice before diving into danger to save his ass, even when it earned her a knife in the ribs.

When she woke up, things were different between them. He hadn't seen it before, but looking back it was obvious. She strived to be around him, pushed him to do new things, and stumbled over her words in ways she hadn't when they'd first met. If Eberwhit hadn't had his head so far up his ass, he'd have noticed.

"I was an idiot, Yoh." Gaage finally muttered, closing his arms tighter around her and resting his chin gently on her head. "I just liked fighting. I didn't care about anybody but myself, but when I got too cocky and you damn near died to save my dumb ass... I felt awful." Remorse hadn't been something he'd dealt with before that, the feeling of being at fault for something terrible. "All of a sudden I wasn't in control of the situation anymore. You were lying there bleeding out, and it was my fault for not listening to you. If you'd died... fuck, Yoh, I don't know if I'd have been able to live with myself over that. I felt like the biggest pile of shit on two feet."

Shaking his head, he tucks his chin to press a kiss to her forehead, one hand coming up to trail through her blonde locks as he gives a heavy sigh.

"When I left, it was because I'd promised that I would. I didn't want to. I never believed in Gilram's ideals or the shit he spewed from his mouth. I guess I... I guess I just didn't want to let somebody else down the way I'd let you down. In the end, though, I got burned anyways. The person I chose to trust didn't... no, she couldn't have loved me the way you do. I just didn't see it."

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

“I hope you don’t hold on to that awful feeling, Gaage. Don’t lose the person you are because of what happened. It wasn’t your fault and I hope you know that I would bleed out a million more times to save you… and if it killed me, I would find you in my next life.” She made an attempt to reassure him before contemplating his final thoughts.

In the end, she couldn’t find the words she needed to make him feel better about Delaney. She couldn’t bring herself to disagree with him, to give him the hope that maybe he was wrong. Maybe she did love him and she would be back. And Ysobel would be lost. Again.

Perhaps words were not the only thing she had to offer the man she loved.

In the midst of their shared emotional turmoil Ysobel moved silently, pulling herself from beside the redhead into his lap where she could look him in the eye. She placed one hand on either side of his face as she straddled him, refusing to let him look away from her. “You won’t let me down. I won’t allow it.”

…misshapen stomach…

She scrunched up her face and huffed. Her hands crept down from his cheeks to his neck where they tightened with a gentle reminder. “And if you ever say I am misshapen again, you won’t have the chance to let me down.”

 

[Gaage Eberwhit]

Yoh certainly had a way with extremes... even as she declared the vast lengths she would go to in order to be with him, to never leave his side, he wore a subdued smile on his face, leaning into her hands as she stroked his cheek and comforted him the best she could.

"Yeah, I know you would..." He muttered, tilting his head down to look at the space in between them if for no other reason than to hide the sheen of emotion in his eyes. "You're stubborn like that, lovin' a moron like me" He laughed as he spoke, shaking his head and resting his forehead against her. For minutes he rested against her just like that, his breath the only sound he made as her presence brought calm to the storms that plagued his mind.

Any lingering thoughts of Lennox were dispelled by the simplest touch of the woman in his bed. How could he even pay Delaney's name a second thought? Gaage had built this house for Ysobel, not her. He'd created life with Ysobel, not her.

No. This was right. It'd always been right. He'd just been too much of a dumbass to see it.

The change in position felt so natural that he moved with her on instinct, bringing his hands to her hips as she climbed up into his lap and straddled him. Her hands came to his cheeks and his gentle smile turned to a smirk tinged with that trademark cockiness she'd grown used to.

"You're hot when you threaten me, you know that?" He purred as Ysobel pressed his palms against his neck Gaage's own fingers drawing lines up the length of her back and resting on the back of her head, tilting it so that he could lean forward and press his lips to her nape, muttering into her skin. "Gods, I missed you..."

Ysobel

 

[Ysobel]

"I know I am." Her head tilted back as she felt the heat of his breath upon her neck. She shivered while he drew his fingers up her back, goosebumps on her skin. While Gaage may have had some new self-deprecation kink, Ysobel knew what she had to offer. And this new situation could be damned, she was gonna give him everything.

Once again, Gaage and Ysobel would find themselves caught in the calm before the storm. Illuminated only by the sun peeking past the heavy curtains she lay cradled in his arms. The silence disturbed only by the gentle breeze rustling the leaves and the pounding of her heart. The heaviness which loomed over the pair was broken by the palpable sense of comfort in their togetherness as though their fractured souls were mended by the simple act of holding each other close.

---

The morning sun began to paint the walls with a warm glow, inviting the pair to wake from their slumber. Ysobel stirred first, the blankets rustling quietly as she turned to watch him as he enjoyed the last moments of tranquility. As her gaze fell upon him, a tender smile crept up onto her face. For once she would bear witness to him without the weight of his responsibilities and his past upon his shoulders.

It was nice to see him so calm.

She crept closer, having tossed and turned out of his grasp sometime in the night. Her fingers grazed his cheek carefully before she leaned in to wake him, capturing him in a sweet, sleepy kiss. "Good morning..."