Private Tales Keeping One’s Promises

A private roleplay only for those invited by the first writer
It was so very hard to keep her eyes open, but she fought he fatigue and clung to him like he was the only tether she had to life -- and in a way, he was. But he was speaking so quickly.

"My heart?" she blinked. It took her mind a full moment to understand before the weight of what he'd told her sank in. Her heart. He hadn't found her heart. She pressed her eyes shut and she took a long, shaking breath. Her heart was gone. She would be going soon, then. There was no way to hold back her tears, to keep in the awful fear that came out of her.

But he was hurting, and she couldn't let him hurt. Gathering as much of her strength as she could muster, her hand blindly found his face and she opened her eyes to look up at him.

"It's alright. Please... don't cry." Shuck offered him a small smile, giving his hand as much of a squeeze as she could manage while the fingers of her others attempted to wipe away his tears. "You'll be okay. You'll have each other."

He insisted that she take his heart, and she shook her head. "I'm sorry." She tried to hold his gaze. "I don't' know how. And if I did, I still wouldn't take it from you."

// Joseph Meier //
 
Joseph couldn’t stop crying even if he wanted to. He felt like his entire soul was cracking in half. He didn’t want to lose her...in the past few months he had fallen more and deeply in love with her than anyone else. She had even surpassed his affections for Camilla. He cried openly, leaning his cheek into her hand and holding her desperately. “Where the fuck is Trahaearn?” He growled. “He would know how to help me give it to you...I can’t lose you. You’re my soulmate. You are the other half of me. I can’t imagine life without you or our child. I need you here...I want you to watch her take her first steps and protect her first boyfriend from me cracking his skull open.”

He kissed her palm. “Please. You can’t leave me here...” his voice cracked and he sobbed. He needed her. He put his hand on her cheek and stroked his thumb over her skin. He held nothing but love for her. She had sacrificed everything to give him a daughter. “I did this to you..”
 
Shuck shushed him gently, freeing her other hand to pull him toward her. Her kiss was soft, reassuring.

"We did this together," she replied firmly. Her silver eyes were clear but her lids were so heavy, and her arms were starting to shake from holding her hands to his cheeks. "I wanted it. I still want it. More than my heart... More than my name..."

He was hurting, and her chest tightened around something that wasn't there. Shuck took a deep breath. She could feel her energy failing fast.

"Joseph, you will not give me your heart," she whispered, shaking her head slowly. She felt the tingle in her mouth, the telltale burn of a command. "You wouldn't love me or the jahïl. You have a family. You have friends... You need your heart."

She felt the tears welling up, felt anger at herself for denying him so unfairly with the careless words share in a moment of passion. But the thought of him doing something reckless scared her more than even death. Shuck bit back a sob, hiccuping softly. Her hands slowly dropped from his face, lying over the swell of her stomach.

"I've forgotten a lot, but... I know I've caused a lot of trouble. I'm sorry. Please let me give you this one last thing. Let it settle all that's owed between us." She spoke slowly, each word drawn out more unsteady than the one before. She didn't want to say it to him, but she was afraid that the moment she stopped talking would be the last thing she ever said to him. There was so much she had yet to tell him, things she was forgetting. What were they?

// Joseph Meier //
 
Joseph leaned down and kissed her, putting his forehead against hers. He felt that command, and for a moment he was angry at her. Why? He could give her his heart, he could let her truly love their daughter...if only she hadn’t spoken those dreaded words.

“There was never anything owed between us. I gave you everything, and I gave it gladly.” Joseph told her quietly, kissing her again. She still drew breath, but he knew it was likely the last time he would see her alive. “Our baby will know everything about you. You may have forgotten, but I never did.” He told her. He saw his journal on the nightstand. Had she chosen a name?

He squeezed her hands and settled them against her belly, letting her slip back into sleep. He cried for a while, touching her and kissing her. It hurt to see her there, without that soft smile she gave him upon awakening or those friendly kisses of good morning. His heart was breaking. He put his hand on her belly, taking a deep and shaking breath.

“I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me...and I’ll never let our little girl forget you.” He whispered to Shuck. He stood and took his journal, settling down on the floor by the end of the bed. He opened to the list of names, smiling softly at the ones she’d listed. She had been thinking about names. He ran his fingers over the page.
 
She closed her eyes and leaned into his kiss, reluctant to pull away. This was the last time. She knew it, and that realization alone set her close to solving again. She didn't want to leave him, didn't want to say goodbye.

But she was tired. The energy that had kept her this long was dwindling, and her eyelids were heavy as stones when she looked up at him again.

"You know," she whispered with a soft smile. "I can't say it, but you know." She had been clinging to the hope of saying those words to him, ached to say them now when he needed them the most, but she gave him what she could.

And with that and nothing more, she sighed, a soft smile on her lips as she closed her eyes ans began drifting back toward the nothingness of sleep. She was forgetting things -- something important, but it didn't matter. He was with her. He'd take care of their baby. He would be happy again. It was enough.

// Joseph Meier //
 
He knew. It was right there in her letter even if she couldn’t say it. He cried over her entries, anger filling him at the descriptions of Volker and sadness at the parts where Shuck’s memory began to get spotty. She needed a heart and her name, and he had neither to give her. Adriana...it was the perfect name for a girl. He wasn’t sure about naming a boy after himself, but hearing her reasoning he would respect her wishes. He stared at the words ‘I love you’ on the page, barely able to see them through a haze of tears. He didn’t want to leave her. She was so faded now. He wanted the Shuck who danced with Heinrich and awkwardly ate pastries with Oscar back. He wanted the woman who had faced down a child-eating horror and lived without a scratch. The woman who fought naiads in a way that would have made Gerard beam with pride. He missed her so much his heart burned with it.

He carefully folded the letter and returned it to his journal. Their names were chosen. Adriana or Joseph. He would love the child all the same if it were a boy...but somehow a girl seemed more appropriate. He put his hand on her belly, leaning down to kiss her. He adored her, and always would. There was something in the journals that bothered him, and he needed to take care of it.

His family seemed to know. They were quiet and said nothing. Elda quietly headed into Shuck’s room. She had to prepare for the baby to be born without the mothers help...if she lost this baby now, Joseph would never be the same. She took a deep breath and called Phoebe and Alice into the room. She would need to provide as much support magically as she did medically. This was woman’s magic, and not for the sight of men. Not even the father.

Joseph’s mind was on something else. He headed directly toward the stables, his brow furrowed in anger. “Is it true?” He demanded of Volker, who had just finished with his horse. “Get away from her.”

“She is tired and had saddle sores that needed tending to.”
Volker said. The mere fact that Malta wasn’t afraid of him showed how tired she was. “Is what true?”

“Did you fucking kill foals and harass my family?” Joseph growled.
“Yes.” Volker didn’t lie. After so many years with the fae, he wasn’t sure he could. He was expecting the punch though. He grabbed Joseph’s wrist and twisted it up and around, jamming it up behind his back. “You are a very bad combatant.”

“Let me the fuck go!” Joseph snarled. “What happened? Tell me what happened!”

“She took over my contract. I am bound to her now as Trahaearn is.” Volker shrugged. “It was the only way.”
 
The ride back from the gravesite empty handed had not been fun. Especially after Joseph had decided to make off with all of the alcohol they had and blaze a trail back without them. Surprisingly a good thing though. It had allowed the warlock to think without having to worry about sharing his ideas of how to give Mal a heart.

Aside from that, Ellis had been a wonderful companion for keeping warm on cold nights and had been a welcome comfort with rewrapping his bandaging. They had bantered by camp fire, and rode at a varying pace to keep the horses from breaking.

Once they had come within a day or two of the house though, Trahaearn had begun to try and reach out across that mental link that Mal had finally stumbled upon. When he reached out to her though, it was like yelling into the void. Not even his own voice seemed to echo back as he began to frantically think on all the bad possibles that could have happened.

She couldn't be dead or else he would be. She had used magick, enough to age him quite a bit which worried him greatly. Just what had she done that had needed so much magick?

He didn't try to think about it as the drew upon the house, his ire rising as he remembered that Volker had made himself known just shortly before they had left. If that shitbag had done anything to her and was waiting for them all to come back, the house would likely not be standing by the time Trahaearn was through with the other pact bound.

"God of Storms, here my plea as I pray to the that you would grant me the powers that you have so graciously given me these millennia to further protect those that I hold dear to my heart. That-" Trahaearn whispered as he pushed his mount into a hard gallop. He had to get there now. Had to see Mal and know Volker hadn't played some devious game to catch them all. Had to know how Mal was.

The world slipped away as he prayed quietly, finishing his prayer as he rode straight up to the porch and dismounted smoothly from the side. Lightning formed a crown above his head as his whole body churned with raw power. It fed him energy as he stormed quite literally into the house, his long white hair dancing as electricity arked from one strand of hair to the next. One of the brothers, Gerard he guessed moved to stop him, making the sad mistake of grabbing his arm as lightning danced into his body.

"Move mortal." Trahaearn's voice bellowed with rage as the man dropped. The surge of energy enough to drop even any fae that he had ever tangled with. It had been one of the reason his close quarters fights had left him unscathed. Most never dared touch the warlock after he had cooked an attacker that had managed to take hold of him.

He took to the room that he had guessed they would put her in, Elda, the woman who had cared for him was with Mal. He stated at her for a long moment, his eyes not human as the blue energy within him began to fade away with the sight of Mal on the bed.

"What happened?" his voice was calm with her, as much as it could be with the rage still riding him.



Elda wasn't able to tell him everything that he had wanted to hear, and it wasn't shortly after he had come in that Joseph had found his way in also. Likely hearing the thundering hooves as he and Ellis had rode in. He had calmed, and the energy had dissipated after finding no other outlet than him. His nerves sang as the last few crackles tingled along his spine. It always came with a cost using his magic like that, he wouldn't be able to feel anything for the next few hours, but he had been prepared for a fight.

Always cautious, rather than dead had payed off in the past. Old men tended to be old for a reason after all. Especially in a business like he was in. Once the ill feelings were spent, grief took over as he learned just how bad Mal was.

The question of why he looked as he did came up, and he gave as much an explanation as he cared to give. About how his life was tied to hers, and that his aging was a terrible sign. He shook his head, unable to will away the tears that began to well up at the thought of her dying now. At how much effort had been wasted on the venture to Selmi's grave.

Once those emotions were spent, he left the room, finding Gerard to apologize and explain himself. Thinking that Volker was playing some game had thrown him into a fit, and until he had known it was her own doing, no one was going to stop him. With that settled, he set off to find Mal's belongings silently.

He hadn't seen her bury the item he was after, and he very much doubted she would idly toss it aside as a mortal would. So the damned thing was likely still-AHA! As he had thought, the oak leaf was delicately set into her bag. Pocketing the bundle, he thought about his next course of action and avoided Volker as best he could.

His preparations nearly complete, he bid Ellis good night and informed him that he would be resting later. Telling the man he felt restless and wanted to stay up a bit longer, he waited for everyone to leave the kitchen as he nursed a finger of human whiskey. The burn felt good, but it was no where near potent enough to inhibit the task before him.

Leaving the house, he found a chicken and ended it's life quickly. A small knife working it's way quickly into the body and separating the heart from it as he wrapped it in a bundle of cloth before pocketing it as well.

Volker kept a watch of him as he traveled the yard, entering the house once more and listening. Small movements, most denoting restless movements in bed or preparations for bed. Waiting a few more minutes, his steps were deathly quiet for someone as warmly dressed as he was. He listened intently for any sign that Joseph was still awake.

Hearing none, he stepped into the room he was in with Mal, and approached him first. Summoning the last magick that was available to him, he cast a heavy sleep spell over the man, hoping it would give him enough time for what was to come.

He gave the silver skinned woman he loved a once over. She looked peaceful to him, even with the belly she now had. He despaired for a moment to think that she was so close to death, and that he had so little time to act as he scooped her up and strode out of the room. He did his best to bundle her up to ward off the cold, but he needed to act quickly and did not have a lot of time to spare. Carefully ducking in and out, he was quickly upon the porch as Volker approached him.

He gave the man a stern look, feeling the bond that tied them to the woman he held, before looking down at the bundle he had in his arms. She had been an idiot for doing such a thing as making a pact with Volker, but it would benefit her later to have a man such as he in her service.

"I'm getting her a heart. I need you to make sure no one follows us from the house. Non lethal means of making sure they all stay put, and no permanently disabling injuries. We'll be back when it's done. Keep an eye to the north." He informed him before beginning his walk.

It was a cold journey, even with all the layers, and would have been a lot easier if he could have just drug her as a dog. As it was, he kept the majority of the layers to the outside, pressing her body close to him to try and keep her warm.

The thrumming he felt was at it's strongest as he laid her out in the snow. Pulling the bundles out of his pocket, he set the oak leaf on her chest before placing the heart on top of it. He was silently praying to any god that this would work as he took a steadying breath.

"Alba, Alba, Alba." Trahaearn spoke almost like a chant, his knees against the cold ground as he sat back on his heels and waited. He didn't know just how close the spirit was, and didn't have any idea if it would even appear in time to help. His worry was eating at him as he waited, his focus almost entirely upon the woman before him.
 
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Ellis had changed during their ride. He had enjoyed Trahaearn's company at night, and had talked long into the night with the man. His infatuation had only been stoked by the close time together, but even he recognized that the closer they drew to the house, the more distracted Trahaearn was getting. He was bound to Shuck and had a mistress to attend to, and since their mission had failed, the outcome was not going to be good. He quietly took the gelding once Trahaearn dismounted, but that was going to be slightly more difficult with the man's display of power. The gelding shied and reared at the sight, and when Ellis moved to grab the reins he bolted. Ellis' own mount wasn't dealing with the sight well either. Ellis cursed and turned the mare to go after the gelding. It was either he run her away from the sight, or get bucked off and have two horses to find in the snow.

Gerard took being zapped quite well, but Elda didn't. "What in the hell is the meaning of this?" she snapped at him. "We have a gravely ill woman in the house who could give birth at any moment and you're downing my strongest son. Get ahold of yourself, Trahaearn!" She glared at him, but couldn't tell him much other than Shuck was going downhill fast. Gerard took the apology, if stiffly. They understood that Trahaearn was Shuck's, but the aging was definitely a shock. Even Ellis was starting to get worried at how haggard Trahaearn looked.

Joseph was miserable. Trahaearn needn't have put such a strong spell on him. The man looked like he hadn't eaten in days, and the several empty bottles of whiskey around the bed told Trahaearn everything he needed to know about the man's mental state. Joseph was curled up in bed next to her, his hand in hers and his other over her belly. He had been mourning her, refusing to leave the room or do much other than drink, cry, and sleep.

Predictably, when Trahaearn tried to remove her from the house Volker met him. The other human was cautious, but still had a pair of blades out in case the warlock meant her harm. Volker could sense she was dying too, but men on a drowning ship tended to drag others down with them. He listened to the other man, and sheathed his weapons. Maybe. "If I feel her die, I will come to you." he warned. As far as he was concerned, his duties were to the child after Shuck died. At the very least, to get her into the arms of her father before he expired.

So Volker waited. Patiently, just inside the barn where it was cold, but warm enough that he could keep a eye north as Trahaearn had said.
 
For weeks he had been waiting, watching. He felt the thrum of the earth beneath him, the turning of the world back toward the light as the deepest part of winter came and went. He had stood by, waiting to see how this life of hers would turn out. She was so gentle, so sweet. Her mouth was of honey and flowers rather than ichor and thorns. At long last she was standing tall, moving ever closer toward that dark glory that she would wear like a mantle, resuming her throne of shadows and wickedness.

But she was so far away now. He had stared into the void, wondering if she'd return, and knew the quiet answer to that question:
perhaps. It was beyond his hands. He had interfered once, only because he'd been too late finding her. This life had given her another and she'd been too soft, too dependent to withstand losing him. Watching from the riverbank, doing what he could to keep her from further harm, trailing them slowly...

It was all the more he dared do. Interfering with fate was dangerous, even for fae such as himself. He risked much watching her, a great deal more by slipping his hand into the fray. Neutrality had to be maintained. Any more and he would be tipping the scales and threatening her future. Fate gave and fate took, and his meddling could cost her greatly.

She was fading, and he could do nothing for it. That looming
perhaps was dwindling by the day, by the hour. The clurichaun had given them the clues, and they only needed to find them. He waited patiently, silently watching for the moment the warlock returned. He would know what to do, surely. If he didn't they would all be surely lost. The little one, reckless and angry with the world, was forbidden from it. This now fell squarely on the shoulders of her silver one.

And he came.

Hidden in the shadows, he watched them pass. Following after them as the warlock carried her toward the ley line, he kept his distance. The ceremony was flattering, and it satisfied the formalities he needed to intervene. Clever, this one. But it was the name, spoken like a prayer, resolute into the frozen air, that made his breath draw.

The winter forest was quiet by night, but it was not silent. The trees overhead groaned and the steady wind hissed as it wove through their branches. The few leaves that still clung to their arbor bodies rattled, a million voices that seemed to echo the name back to the warlock.
Alba. It was the sigh of the forest, the primordial heartbeat that flowed from the ley line into those ancient trees.

A hush fell over the small draw, the trees, and even the wind, quieting. He didn't disguise the sound of his approach, the crunch of snow and the swish of leaves and grass robes. Clouds of warm breath billowed out of the elk skull, mingling with the antlers and branches that rose overhead. The glowing green orbs of his eyes pierced the unsaturated night, fiercely bright and green as saplings.

"You called?" His voice was the crunch of fallen leaves, the whisper of the winter wind. "And you've brought an offering. What is it you seek, warlock?"

He knew the answer, only asked out of formality. He was rarely summoned, most knowing a fool's errand when they saw it. But the man who turned to look at him was desperate -- Alba saw it in his eyes, in the way he curled his shaking hands into fists.

// Joseph Meier // Trahaearn //
 
The area around him was silent, as everything tended to be in winter. The change in temperature, lack of food for wildlife, and distinct lack of insects always made the dark and cold nights eerie. It didn't help when absolutely every sound suddenly ceased in the clearing around him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and the entirety of his body shivered while goosebumps rose promptly behind the shudder as he felt, rather than heard the approach.

It wasn't shortly after his shudder that he heard snow crunch, the primordial sense of shock at something dangerous drawing near making him jump as he caught sight of the spirit that approached. He knew well the skull that bellowed with steaming breath, the robe of foliage and piercing eyes that went along with the entirety of this great fae.

He had been warned only once about casting any kind of remark toward it, and threatened with imminent death should he touch it. Which made his summoning the thing all the more concerning in his own mind.

"I did." Trahaearn affirmed quietly before explaining. "I seek assistance." The tremble of his voice hard to keep out as his eyes darted to Mal before returning to Alba.

"She needs a heart, and I would give her mine. But I do not know how to do it." The last part of his words containing the hint of despair in them as his hands shook. He swallowed hard as he thought back to the time she had returned without a heart. He hadn't questioned the lack of a heartbeat when he had finally been allowed to lay his head upon her chest. Had not dared to bring it up after Selmi had been stolen.

Now though, he wished he had. With everything that existed in him, scolded himself for not pushing the matter. For not finding out how she had done it.
 
"Assistance..." He tasted the word, stalking slowly closer but keeping a wide berth. Rounding the pair, he looked down at the woman laid carefully the decaying leaves upon the forest floor, a bed of death in the hopes of finding life. She could have been sleeping, her head turned to the side and her expression softened, hands folded over the rise of her belly. It was a vision of beauty, only enhanced by the dark fingers of death that reached toward her.

"She is maiden, mother, and crone," he mused as if he hadn't heard what the man had requested. "New and clean in this life, yet aged and wise in another... and now a vessel of new life."

Alba had come closer, moving as slowly as the passing seasons. He lowered himself beside her and an arm extended from beneath his robes of moss, grass, and leaves. It was dark as freshly turned soil, but the veins on the inside of his wrist glowed with the same green light as his eyes.

"A jonquil born in the dead of winter. Too soon and too late. She'll freeze and wither; she was never meant for this season." His voice was gentle and his dark fingers touched her face affectionately, pushing a stray lock of hair from her brow and curling to trace the line of her cheek. He was silent for a while, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest.

"I know how to do it,"
he said suddenly, broken from his thoughtful trance. He stood and his glowing eyes watched the warlock from the dark recesses of the skull. "But it is a great feat of magick -- one that does not come free. You ask a great deal of me. Are you willing to pay my price, Trahaearn?"

His response was, as expected of a desperate man, cautious. But he
was desperate -- an animal with its foot caught in a snare that would chew the limb free before it allowed itself to die. A hum of consideration came from beneath the skull.

"I want to see it. The child," he said, his hand emerging from beneath his robes to gesture toward the sleeping woman at his feet. "You will bring the child to me in its second summer when the oaks are dark and full. I wish to look upon this yellow rose when it is blooming."

// Trahaearn //
 
The spirit spoke the word, walking in an arc around them before looking to Mal. Alba gazed at her for a time before speaking his thoughts, leaving Trahaearn silently wondering just what he wasn't seeing that the spirit was. It approached slowly, painfully slow in Trahaearn's opinion. Lowering to Mal's side, he bristled as fingers touched her face and pushed away a loose lock. The words made little sense, and the tracing touch of it's hand only added to his confusion.

His knit brow loosened a bit at the sudden revelation. A small gleam of hope in a bleak and darkening world, one that in one sense was ending for Trahaearn. The next words were not a surprise, but it dealt a blow to that hope he had felt briefly. Nothing was ever free when it came to the fae, and he should have expected to have to pay for such a thing.

"No magick is ever free. Name your price." Trahaearn spoke quickly and carefully. It was well known that everything with magick had it's price in one sense or another. Whether a price to be paid by the one asking, or the one doing the magick.

There was always a price.

Silver eyes stared at Alba for too long when the price was named. It almost sounded like a joke, and the mention of a yellow rose confused him for a brief moment. A heavy breath came from him before he remembered watching the delicate trace of her cheek by the other fae. He had guessed for a long time now that Mal had some connection with Alba, but if the implications made by the choice of flower were true.

Shit.

What exactly had he done in asking for help from this one? He very much doubted either Mal or Joseph would be keen on allowing him to make off with their child, even if it were to save her life. Perhaps he should have just let them both pass into the void rather than stir up all of this trouble. Then again, what if the child went with her? He gave himself a small shake to will away the thoughts.

He very much wanted to argue against the price, but he knew a losing battle when he saw one. Alba did not have to ask for him to bring the child forward. This fae had claim to everything Mal owned, and vice versa. He couldn't deny Alba the child, especially since it sounded as though he simply wished to watch the child.

If that wasn't the only intent, Trahaearn would destroy himself to try and stop whatever came of it.

With a resigned sigh, he swallowed hard before looking up to the fae.

"Where will you be?" Trahaearn wilted before the Alba's price. It was hard to argue against a fae, never mind when they had claim to your benefactors soul.
 
He watched the man struggle. Though he remained still and silent as the night around them, Alba's eyes glittered, green stars in the darkness. Trahaearn was a sensible fellow; he'd taken Malice's warnings and had kept his distance, and his hesitation told him plainly that he had some sort of understanding of this cost. With good reason, her warlock fought an inner battle with reason and pride.

But, just like that animal in the snare, he would sacrifice a great deal to survive.


"I will be going away soon, but I will return. Here will do nicely. " Alba gestured to the draw, a small valley between hills in the forest. "You will know when; I will leave you signs, at which time you will bring it to me."

After a beat of silence Alba turned more fully toward Trahaearn. "Is there a problem, warlock? Are your reservations greater than her life?" He waved his hand toward the black shuck very certainly dying between them. "Because you know what I am?"

Raising both hands, palms up, he presented himself for inspection. "She warned you once, didn't she? After you followed her into the wood that night, disobedient as you always were." There was a note of disdain in his voice, but the light in the skull revealed nothing.

"You've been wise to avoid me these years. I'm bound to her and time is of no consequence. I will wait through eternity for her. But there's nothing binding me to you."
He took a step around Malice, then another as he moved closer. "You've undermined her. You've betrayed her trust. You've cut her down at every turn."

He was close enough to reach out and take a lock of his silver hair in his dark clawed fingers. The clouds of his breath billowed around the warlock's face, but he bravely stood his ground. Trahaearn was tall, but Alba loomed over even Malice. As great as an oak, he bent toward the human-turned-fae, the skull tipping like a curious dog.

"Yet here you are." A rumble as dark as thunder rolled out of him. "Before you answer, you should know what it is you ask." A single claw traced a line down his neck and across his clavicle before it tapped over his heart.

"A heart must be freely given, and you must carve it out by your own hand. It will sustain you, but its absence will not make you any less mortal. You live and die the same as if it were still in your chest. If it is destroyed, then so you die. Mortal wounds will most certainly still be mortal wounds.

"You will not dream. You will not love. And, most importantly, it can never be returned to you."


Alba watched him, tapping his chest once more.

"Now tell me, Trahaearn: do you love my wife enough to give her your heart?"

// Trahaearn //
 
Alba would return, but it would not be for a while. He would give clear signs to the time he had returned, something that Trahaearn would be unable to ignore. The moment's pause caused Alba to question him. The disdain in his tone a clear sign that Trahaearn's presence had not gone unnoticed.

He bristled at the words the fae spoke, standing in some futile attempt to make a show, but kept his silence. It would take nothing for him to anger Alba and for Trahaearn to lose this opportunity. He took the words, though it didn't make him happy to have Alba poking at him.

His mouth opened for a moment, as Alba cut him off with a claw tracing a line on him. He listened, fully aware the Malice had once had to listen to the same words. Then the last of the conditions were made clear, and the finality of all this was very plain.

He would die doing this for her. His eyes went to the claw on his chest for a brief moment. His thoughts swirling before the words of the deal he had made with Malice came to his mind. As I need, rang in his ear as if he had heard it just yesterday. The slow draw of his breath clearing away the doubts and worries that suddenly plagued him.

"Yes." He informed the spirit. "She can have my heart."
 
Yes. Of course he did. Alba nodded. "Then the deal is made."

He seized Trahaearn's arm suddenly, clasping his forearm and his claws piercing his skin. There was a flicker and bright green brambles of light coiled around their arms before vanishing into nothing. Releasing him, Alba backed away.

"You'll need this." One of his hands reached into the opposite sleeve and withdrew a knife made of wood. "Ash," he explained, holding the knife out by the blade for the warlock to accept by the handle. If he knew anything at all, he'd know that ash wood was sacred to fae, that these blades, though wooden, were powerful. When he had taken it, Alba produced a second and began to walk around Malice.

"The process is simple: I cast the circle, you cut out your heart, and she cuts open her chest to receive it. I will link the magick between you, and it will be finished."

Alba gave Trahaearn a measuring look when he pointed out that Malice could not cut open her own chest in this condition. He held out his hands and gave a mock bow. Reaching up, he grabbed the skull and removed it. "Fortunately, her husband is present."

The face beneath was that of a man with dark skin and black hair, cropped to his shoulder and the locks at the temples gathered and fastened back. His eyes were a piercing green that glowed faintly and his brow was drawn. Alba's youthful features belied his great age. He threw off his robes, revealing the sleeveless tunic and black breeches he wore beneath. His feet, like his hands, were blackened, clawed, and inhuman.

Alba drew his wooden blade and cut perpendicular to the glowing vein in his arm. He began walking a circle around them with Malice's sleeping form at its center, his mouth moving as he muttered a spell in Faerie. His blood dotted the snow and leaves, a crimson ring which he finished with all three of them already inside

"Do not leave this circle, or your life and hers will both be forfeit," he warned. The stern expression on his features never once shifted as he worked silently. He placed his hand over the wound for a moment, and when he removed it the blood was still smeared on his arm but there was no sign of a wound or even a scar. Alba pointed to a point next to Malice.

"Kneel there." There was no room for disobedience in his tone. Without looking at Traheaern, he took the shuck in his arms, sitting behind her so that her back rested against his chest. His movements were slow and gentle. Alba's eyes softened, his brow relaxing as he took a deep breath. He simply held her for a moment, her head resting on his shoulder as he looked over her features. After so many years, she had hardly changed. She looked older, yes, but even the fae were not truly immune to the passage of time. But in sleep all of the hardness had gone out of her.

Very slowly, he laid his hand over her eyes and kissed the back of his fingers.
"Ugi, shu ä läpïkäd," he whispered, a remark intended for only her but very likely overheard by the man seated beside them. With a great sigh, Alba used the knife to rip a slit in the front of her dress and waved the blade at Trahaearn, encouraging him to do the same for himself.

"I hope you were not fond of that clothing," he remarked dryly. He folded Malice's hands around the handle of the blade and raised his hands, palms up, and looked skyward. His eyes, more vibrant than emeralds, glittered.

"You'll need to be silent. You may scare away the help."

And without explaining that, Alba snapped his fingers. There was a giggle in the draw and the wind resumed. It danced along the leaves and pulled at Trahaearn's silver hair with playful fingers. Six tiny figures, no taller than a hand was long, appeared around Malice. Bodies of smoke and air, they were hardly figures at all. Curling and dissipating in a constant cycle of rebirth, the shapes of torsos, hands, and faces came and went. Giggling, and chattering, they danced along Malie's body, touching every part of her they could reach, before turning to Alba.

"What does our Father require?" they asked in unison. They spoke in Faerie, their voices high and clear, eager and excited as if they had gathered for some joyous occasion, not over the body of a dying woman.

"My wife requires a heart. This one offers his. Do you remember how to keep the circle?"

"Yes, Father!" And with a chorus of giggles, the sylphs danced over her body to join hands, forming a ring over Malice's heart. There was a whisper in the draw as they rose over their heads and drifted apart, magick glittering between their mercurial hands as they fell back to stand at equal intervals on the circle of Alba's blood. When their feet touched it, their bodies turned to bright green flames. Their voices were one as they began to whisper, a spell heard but the words just beyond understanding. Perfectly in sync with one another, they began a light, twirling dance around the trio.

Alba put his hands over Malice's, cradling them affectionately before he poised the blade above her, guiding her to do it when she couldn't do it herself.


"Begin, warlock."

He didn't wait for Trahaearn. His mouth was set into a stern frown and his upper lip trembled as he sank the blade into her side. Angling upward, it slipped under her ribcage and pierced her diaphragm. Blood flowed readily over their hands, hot and slick. Malice's face didn't change, but she took a deep, ragged breath. The sylphs screeched, their bodies flickering violently as they struggled to maintain the magick that sustained the lives within.

Not wasting any time, Alba turned to Trahaearn and held out his hand for his heart.

// Trahaearn //
 
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With his words, and sudden clasp of his arm, Trahaearn could not help but look up at the fae that towered over him. It would have been an easy thing in the handful of times for Alba to have ended him swiftly. He had no doubt the spirit still held such feelings even with his assured death, or perhaps was content knowing that he would pass upon Malice's return. The pricks into his arm did not make him flinch, but they did not feel pleasant by any means, but the deal was finalized with that small action.

The presentation of a knife made him grimace slightly, but the explanation of the material made his eyes dart up to Alba's. Ash had been the option for his sword handle, but being that it was already made of iron and held a silver edge, he let it be. He had given Malice the benefit of being able to at least throw away the item if need be by letting it be hickory instead. Now it seemed these powerful items were to be used in a ritualistic sense.

Explaining the process made him draw short as he watched the spirit circle Mal.

"She slumbers and cannot raise her own hand. How will she do this?" He didn't want to sound like a fool, but he apparently had been uninformed of some hidden ability or condition that would aid them. The words sent a shudder through him, confirmation of what he had only guessed at.

Her husband.

Trahaearn wasn't entirely surprised by the youthful appearance, since even Mal had been able to somehow hold onto her own features for such a long time. Had she not used so much magick, his sudden aging wouldn't have made him so conscious of the other. This wasn't the time for personal woes he scolded himself as he watched him work, the blood in a circle around them. Enclosing them in some kind of spell as he was told of the consequences of leaving the prepared area.

Like I would leave now he yelled in his mind, but the warning was still kept in mind. Idly he wondered just how that had been found out in order for the warning to be needed. Perhaps an initially willing party before the seriousness of the situation had struck them completely? A price for even using the magick in the first place if the ritual were to be cut short? Shaking the thoughts away, he again scolded himself for letting his mind wander away from the task at hand.

He knelt where he was told to, and acted ignorant of the words Alba spoke to her. Mimicking the cut he had made in her clothes, and followed quickly by that act were giggles, and a warning about scaring away the help.

The forms appeared in front of him for a moment, and his mouth opened but no noise came forward. His shock at hearing them address Alba was plain on his face. For fucks sake, a unicorn, wisps, and tamed sylphs....he silently mused. He had nearly seen everything at this point in his life.

The dispersed and danced around them in equal spacing around the circle encompassing them, the tingle of magick filling the area as Alba ordered him to begin. Even being around as long as he had been, he had truly never given proper thought on how to remove his own heart. He copied the placement, and guessed the place that Alba had cut.

For being a wooden blade, it had a sharp damned edge on it. Even some of the finer blades he had held in his time hadn't been this sharp. It sliced him open easily, and the pain left him sucking a breath. He cut upward further and felt blood spill. He struggled to not double over from the sudden shortness of breath he felt as the knife fell away from his hand.

It was a struggle to get his arm into his own body, and after an unimaginable amount of pain filled struggle. He felt the object of his desire at his fingertips. It thrummed with life, beating against his hand and not offering any kind of ease to grab. His first attempt to remove it ended with him biting back a yowl of pain as his hand slipped and an ungodly kind of pain wracked him. His own arm inside his chest the only thing keeping him from falling forward. But he couldn't stop the small whimper of pain that had filtered through as he tried to gather strength once again.

Damned it all, everything hurt.

He couldn't breath properly, and his second attempt found purchase as he gave a testing tug. His eyes watered and his vision blurred for a moment when he did so. It only took him a moment to ready himself as he violently ripped it from it's home. His hand trembling as he removed the still beating thing. It pumped uselessly in his hand, blood flowing in what seemed like a river from his side.

Somehow, he wasn't dead yet.

The world felt distant though as he handed the heart, his heart to Alba.
 
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The sylphs screeched again when Trahaearn whimpered. Their flaming green bodies trembled and flickered, threatening to peter out as he pulled out his heart. Alba grit his teeth. The magick in this circle was delicate, and now wasn't the time for any weakness. The tapped the power of the ley line beneath them, and there was a rush of energy within the circle. The sylphs stabilized, continuing their steady dance.

Trahaearn offered his heart and Alba took it wordlessly. Whether by wit or good luck he'd chosen to summon Alba. Had he not pursued this path, he'd have been unable to find the help he sought in another. Malice was unconscious and would remain so without this heart. His privileges as her husband were, realistically, few. But this... In this, he could be useful to her. Even if Trahaearn never told her, she would have to know when her name was returned to her.

Grimacing, he folded her hands around the heart and raised it to her lips. It was still beating steadily, though accelerated. That was to be expected. Trahaearn was experiencing a great deal of pain -- he
had just carved out his own heart. The only reason it was still beating and that he had not yet died was the circle of sylphs who pranced and twirled, humming their eerie song and casting shadows haphazardly across the draw.

Alba gently slipped his hand and the heart into her chest cavity. He paid no mind to the blood that dripped from his elbow. There was a warm, empty nest where her heart should have been. Magick, dark and familiar, encased it like a lover's embrace but didn't protest when his hand intruded.

"Je nab ge. Dïzäs nab wänäs. Etïräʒo nab boʒo. Üimos she nab shu gufï pïfol she iwu."

Alba's voice was low and quiet, but the magick in the circle rose once more. Their hair lifted as though suspended in water, and the blood that fell from their bodies floated, buoyant on the air. His eyes flashed green, and the sylphs gave a joyous cry as they came to a sudden halt before their voices rose in unison, screeching the same chant.

Bird to air. Alba could feel the magick in her chest reaching greedily toward the hear. Root to soil. He released his hand, and when he began to withdraw it remained within her, tendrils of flesh and magick latching on. Child to breast. Pulling his hand free, he pressed down on the wound as she drew another deep, shuddering breath. Give it to her and keep him close. The sylphs raised their arms skyward and their sudden silence was palpable.

"Ükaet she ïʒo wupawug. She klüusï ïʒo wupaza."


Let it be finished. It cannot be undone.

Malice tensed, her back arching and her head snapping back. Her eyes flew open, black and empty. There was a crackle of electricity in the air as Trahaearn fell to his hands and knees. The sylphs repeated the words with a riotous cry, their bodies blazing one final time as the spell was sealed. The shadows cast by their dying flames rippled, coalescing toward Malice. The ring of blood began to consume itself, catching fire under the sylphs, and they scattered.

Borne of air once more, they flew around the trio. Thrice each, they shoved and wriggled their way into the wounds the ash knives had made, giggling and fighting each other to be the first inside of their bodies. Both Malice and Trahaearn inhaled sharply, involuntarily, their wounds pulling shut and burning with green embers as they were cauterized by magic, and when they exhaled again, the sylphs fell out of their mouths.

And then there was darkness and silence in the forest once more. Light slowly crept back into the circle, moonlight illuminating the draw once more. The sylphs were gone, but a gentle breeze rose around them. The blood ring was naught but a circle of charred leaves floating in puddles of melted snow, and the air stank of burnt flesh. The chicken heart was missing, but the blood-soaked oak leaf, vibrant and green, laid beside Malice, who lay still and quiet in front of Trahaearn. But the spirit who had held her a few moments before had gone.


// Trahaearn // Joseph Meier //
 
Joseph felt like his world was shattering. He laid on Shucks bed, his head buried in her pillow. He drank up her scent, touched little strands of hair she’d left on the covers. She was being taken away to die...she’d faded too long, and right before their child was born he’d lost her. So much waiting, so much loving. He remembered curling up at night with his palm spreading over Shucks belly and telling the little one about his or her uncles and aunts. How he’d teach her to ride on the meadows and let her nick sweets from the pantry.

That was torn from him. Their child was going to fade, just like her mother. He understood why Trahaearn had taken her. Joseph couldn’t have beared to watch the last light blink from Shuck’s eyes, and their babe curl up and grow still inside of her. It wasn’t fair. Shuck was the one woman he’d truly loved with all of his heart. Even Camilla he’d had to learn to love. Shuck had always been in the corner of his heart, he’d just had to walk into a graveyard to see it. She had his heart in her hands the moment she’d pulled him out of that river. And now she was gone. His world was cracked in half and the one he loved most was dead and had taken their child into the next world with her. He didn’t know what to do without her. He wanted to rot here. He wanted to drink until he couldn’t feel any more...

But he had to see her body before she was put in the ground. He had to kiss her one last time, and smooth his fingers through her hair and pretend for one moment he could see that bright smile light up her eyes.

He stumbled up and staggered out of the doorway to her room. He reached the front door and opened it, glaring at Volker. The man wouldn’t let him leave. “I’m going to see where he’s buried her.” Joseph sat. “Try to stop me, and I’ll kill you.”

Volker looked st him blankly. He could feel the connection getting weaker and weaker. “You aren’t able to kill me.” He told Joseph. “You’re drunk. Trahaearn told me to keep you in the house. Go back inside.”

“Fuck you!” Joseph spat. “I want to see her. Before he puts her in the ground.”

Volker sighed. He could feel...something happening down their connection. Something alien and strange singing along their bond like vibrations down the blade of a knife. He didn’t know what to think. He’d been asked to trust Trahaearn and trust him he would. Slowly, silently, that light blinked out. Shuck was dead...but only for a moment. Volker snorted in surprise, and took off at a jog in Shucks direction. Unsprisingly, a black shepherd with one bad foot kept easy pace with him. He had broken his promise to Trahaearn, but he’d also told the man he’d head toward them if Shuck died.
 
Involuntarily, lightning had danced around him as if to ward off some attack that went unseen. The world was far away for a brief moment, the three invaders both painful and yet distant all at once. It made him wince and shiver from the odd feeling of air that suddenly filled his chest. With a outward gust of breath they fled from him and his chest heaved as if some great force had been expelled.

He couldn't find the strength to get off the ground for a long while. Desperately trying to sort out what he was feeling, and not feeling in that same moment. The crackle faded after it gave him a small dose of the energy it had leeched away from him to manifest, and did not feel like nearly enough for the task that he had yet to do.

Thirty minutes of his effort had garnered enough to crawl forward and with heavy arms, cradle Mal. He held his head to her chest, listening as his heart beat within her. Relief should have flooded him, and when it did not, confusion should have taken hold. Instead, feeling disconnected from everything, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before summoning everything in him to attempt to stand. He didn't succeed the first time, nearly toppling forward with the effort, but managing instead to fall back onto his legs once more.

A heaving breath and a sliding step, he got one leg beneath him as he shifted her in his arms. Both legs under him, he began the trudge back south towards the house. The noise of the night around then seemed to fill the void in him. He felt the pain of his now missing wounds, felt his feet hit the ground and the weight of Mal in his arms. But he should have felt happy, relieved? Something instead of this mocking emptiness that had taken hold of him.

The last of his strength ebbed away as he cleared the treeline. The last effort he gave was to keep her cradled in his arms as he sank to his knees once more and blinked at the two figures that approached. The sound of his breathing filled his ears as he tried to speak when they came near.

"Heart... house....tired."
Was all the more he could manage between breaths before his head nodded forward and his body slumped. He was spent. He hadn't recovered from the ride back, and exhaustion had finally caught up with him. His mind slipped away, a familiar feeling after the attack from the other black shuck they had encountered. His arms were still tight around her as he fell unconcious where he sat.

Each of them was covered in blood, both with cut clothing and yet no wounds where the red stains seem to have originated from.
 
Volker saw Trahaearn staggering forward with Shuck in his arms. The smell of blood hit him when he closed the distance, and he took Shuck from the warlock. He could...feel her. She was warm and alive, and despite what had happened she seemed stronger than other. Volker put this thumb against Shuck’s jugular. She was alive. He looked up at Joseph, who was standing there staring at him. Questions filled the other man’s eyes and Volker quietly grasped his hand, bringing it to Shuck’s neck. Volker saw realization dawn in his face. Shuck had a heart. Shuck was alive. Volker moved his hand down to Shucks stomach.

For several heart stopping moments Joseph felt nothing. Then...a kick. A cry tore free from Joseph and he grabbed Shuck, holding her to his chest. Tears and sobs tore free from him. He wanted to hold her. He needed to carry her. He put his arms around her, grief and relief tearing holes through him. He wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t big enough. He shifted. Gerard put his arms under Shucks knees and around her back, bringing her to his chest. He was crying unabashed, his forehead pressed to hers as he began the walk home.

Volker moved to pick up Trahaearn. He carried him gently, and quietly mimicked Joseph’s gesture of putting his forehead to Trahaearns. “I know what you have done for her...and I thank you.” He said softly. He hefted Trahaearn in his arms and followed Joseph.

Joseph immediately went to the bath. The same bath they’d first made love in when the house was still new to her. He smiled gently as he lowered her into the warm water. He’d filled it to the brim. It would take the weight off of her, cleanse the blood from her skin. Joseph shifted back, sliding into the bath with her. He settled her on top of him, her back to his chest, and his hands in hers. He hadn’t stopped crying, his chest heaving and his cheek nuzzling against her. “I gave up on you...” he sobbed. “I’ll never give up on you again. I love you.” He washed the blood from her, and rested with her in the bath. The weightlessness of it, the sound of the water. He bent his head and kissed her. He pressed his lips to her, pouring every bit of his love into that small motion.

Ellis had screamed the moment Volker stepped into the house. He’d taken Trahaearn, and touched his fingers to the mans throat. He looked up at Volker, tears filling his eyes. “He is not dead.” Volker said quietly. “He gave his heart that another may live.”

Ellis didn’t say a word. He carried Trahaearn to the upstairs bathroom and bathed him, and put him back into the bed they’d shared together. Ellis curled up against Trahaearn, putting his hand against his lovers cheek. “I fell in love with you.” Ellis whispered softly. “Don’t leave me alone now.”

_________________________________________

Three days passed. Ellis barely moved from Trahaearn's side. He tube fed him rice and thin bone broth, trying to keep his weight up. He helped him urinate, as Joseph did with Shuck. They cared for their respective lovers, and for once Joseph watched Ellis change Trahaearn and bathe him. His brother really did love the warlock. He braided his hair, kept him smelling like rose soap, and dutifully changed his bedsheets each and every morning. It was the same love that had him sponge-bathing Shuck and tube-feeding her tea, massaging her throat to make sure she got down each little drop without choking.

Volker was a faithful dog. He couldn't get anywhere near the house without Gerard making it absolutely clear he wasn't welcome (reinforced with a crossbow out of knife-range), but he did settle close to the house in the fields. He erected a tent, settled himself in, and waited. Booker watched him from the window. He was still recovering from the loss of his leg, and was effectively bedridden. They watched one another, quietly, but they didn't need words to speak. Booker didn't blame him for what happened, even if he was hurting.

With three disabled people in the house, the Meiers were working around the clock. Booker was still somewhat independent, but he had to be helped down the stairs to get to meals, and couldn't get out to the outhouse by himself. Gerard and Holden helped with tube feeding, though both Joseph and Ellis preferred to bathe their partners alone. Elda was watching over the babe, every little kick and movement was a godsend.

On the third day, Shuck was stil unconscious when she went into labor. Without the mother's help, Elda needed the entire family to help.
"Get out. You can do nothing for her." Elda shoved away Joseph no matter how hard he tried to be in the room with her.
"I need to be with her!" Joseph snarled.
"You don't need to see her like this. Give her dignity. The moment the baby cries you can come in." Elda said sternly. Alice and Phoebe rushed in with towels, warm water, and extra bedsheets.
"Give off." Alice pushed Joseph aside.
"Figure it out." Phoebe added impatiently as she came in with a large bin of steaming water and rags.
 
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She first heard the hiss in the darkness, quiet and yet so loud that it was deafening. Something was tickling her face and when she reached up to push it away, grass tangled in her fingers. She opened her eyes to see, and the sunlight was nearly blinding. The air was hissing, and looking up she could see grasses waving in a gentle breeze. Bright sprays of crimson poppies flashed in sharp contrast against the deep blue of a summer sky, wobbling overhead on their long emerald stems. The scent of the flower sweetened the air, nearly masking the scent of salt, and the gentle sound of water was just beneath it all.

It was so peaceful, but where was she? Sighing, she didn’t seem to mind. Laying her head back into the grass, she closed her eyes once more and basked in the warmth of the sun turning slowly overhead. Bright, warm, and alone, she was content to lie there for an eternity. This place was so unlike the empty depths of her sleep. She never wanted to leave this place.

But she grew restless as the sun neared the horizon, taking with it that blissful warmth. In the distance, she heard a bell, and she sat up to look around for its source. There was nothing but meadows of grass and a rise, beyond which she could only see sky. Walking toward it, she stared in awe. The meadow fell away suddenly and, far below it, the waves of the sea crashed against the stone face of the cliff. Mist and brine drifted up to her, whipping her hair wildly about her face.

Except it wasn't her hair. She grabbed a fistful of the dark waves that drifted in front of her face and frowned in confusion. Why was her hair brown? Her eyes noticed, then, her hands -- calloused, masculine, and tan with a silver ring on the left hand. They weren't her hands, and as they held the hair, the color began to bleed from the tips, white swallowing up the deep color.

Dropping the hair she touched her face and felt the strange features -- a strong, straight nose; a high, broad brow; a stubbled jawline. Whose face was this? Why was it now her face??

Sudden pain in her gut made her double over, clutching her middle and her mind going blank from its confusion over her wrong body. A cross of fire lanced from her ribs to her hips and, after a few breathless moments, she was able to straighten. Looking down at her hands, they were both covered in blood. What was happening?

The sunset blazed violent pinks and oranges. The bell rang again, and there was a voice on the wind, whispering to her. The sea far below raged and roiled, and the wind was shifting violently around her. Her pastoral dream was fading quickly. On the horizon over the sea to the north, a dark storm was gathering.

Malice, the voices on the wind over the sea whispered. She took a step back from the edge of the cliff. She didn't want to go any closer, but she felt the calling in them. They beckoned her again, Malice.

She wanted to leave. Taking another step back, she had just turned toward the meadow again when another flash of pain burned through her. She fell to her knees, and blood was gushing from an unseen wound in her stomach -- a man's stomach wearing a man's clothing. The pain passed, but she had to go.

Staggering to her feet, she didn't get two steps before a hard wind pushed her back. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't take a step forward and found herself slipping back towards the sea. She could hear the waves clamoring against the cliff, reaching hungrily up toward her with each slam of their bodies on the rocks. An apparition formed on the wind in front of her. She was long and ethereal, hardly more than the wind itself, and she stared at her with empty eyes and a slanted brow.

It looked like her. Or, rather, what she was
supposed to look like. Her shifting zephyr body stepped closer. She reached toward the strange vision of herself, her long tan arms struggling against the fierce wind that was slowly pushing her toward that cliff's edge. Her image came closer, raising her hands.

"Help me!" she cried out to herself, but her voice was not her own. Whose was it? She watched as the zephyr smiled and suddenly those hands moved toward her. But not to grab -- to
push.

Falling through the air, everything went silent. She wheeled, turning away from the sight of the cliff rising away from her toward the sea that was rushing up to greet her. Helpless to stop her descent, her whole body went cold and she took a breath to prepare for the impact.




She awakened to pain and confusion.

With a gasp, she went rigid and reached out for something to steady herself. She felt as though she'd been falling, but why she didn't know. Wild eyes looked around, not quite understanding what they saw, and her lungs felt as though they were being crushed. She couldn't breathe -- not through the pain that was twisting in her abdomen. She saw three women didn't know but somehow recognized, the oldest of which turned to her with a strange expression she couldn't translate. Her chest felt as if something was beating on it from the inside, attempting to hammer its way free of her ribcage.

Where was she? Why was she hurting so badly? She wasn't falling, so she moved her hands instead to curl protectively around her stomach. Somebody was telling her to breathe, but she couldn't focus on that because through the gripping pain she managed to look down at her swollen belly with alarm. What...?

The wave of pain passed and the burning tension in her body relaxed. She sagged against... pillows? A bed. She was in a bed in a strange room surrounded by half-familiar women. She dragged air into her lungs and one of the women wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Joseph?" she gasped. "Where's Joseph? What's happening?"

She didn't know what was going on, and she squeezed her eyes shut against it all. Her memory was a disjointed jumble of things out of order. A wooden tub and Joseph's smile, her silver hands cupping his jaw as she leaned in to kiss him; a mangled boy, white as the snow around him, covered in blood and gore with the fear of death in his pink eyes; dancing in the arms of a man whose name she didn't know but whose face and hands she would have known as well as her own; standing on the hill overlooking a cemetery, her fur rustling in a warm evening breeze; Joseph's dark eyes meeting hers as they laid together in the dark, his fingers brushing the hair back from her face and adoration in his eyes. Dozens of small glimpses flashed between them, disorienting and random.

"I want Joseph," she whimpered quietly, her shoulders shaking. It didn't make sense. She couldn't piece together any of them to make a cohesive piece that told her why she was lying in some strange bed, her chest rattling, her lungs heaving, and her hands curled protectively around the telltale swell of an expectant belly. Tears burned in her eyes and bewilderment scattered her senses.

// Joseph Meier //
 
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The three women were completely and utterly startled when she sat up in bed. They couldn’t have looked more stunned if a corpse had suddenly popped back to life, but Elda recovered the quickest. She grasped Shucks hand in hers and turned her head to look at her with the other. “Joseph’s right outside, my love.” She said gently, calmly. “You’re in labor. I don’t know how early it is, but I tried to stop it. We can’t. We need you to concentrate, Shuck. Your baby is coming. I can’t let Joseph in here. The wards I’ve put up are for feminine energy and strength...I’ve called on every spirit I know. It’s up to you now.”

Elda gently guided her to sit up a bit, putting more pillows behind her back. They’d long since taken her clothing off, and the girls were expectantly burning herbs and looking at Shuck. “Come on. If you need to rise, rise. If you want to stay laying down, then lay down. You’ve got to start pushing soon.” Eldas tone was solid and calm. She was trying to lend strength to Shuck. She was being the rock that Shuck could cling to in the middle of this storm. “Come on dear. You’ve got to help your child. She can’t make it through this alone. She needs you. Reach out to her. She’s still a part of you. Tell her it’s alright. We’re here.”

Joseph was leaning against the door, chewing his fingernails until they bled. “Shuck, I’m here.” He called through the door. “Baby I’m here. Do what Elda tells you. I’ll come through soon as it’s safe. I love you.”
 
Someone took her hand in a firm grip and her face was turned to look at the older woman. Joseph was outside, she assured her, but he couldn't come in. Wards. Labor. Her baby. Shuck.

Memories clattered through her. She gasped, cringing against the pain between her eyes, though it was paled compared to the awful feeling she'd endured moments earlier. She and Joseph were having a baby. These three women, sitting at a table of men and children, erupting into chaos as she glanced nervously at Joseph. His eyes shifting from the others to her, his proud smile softened by the unadulterated love in his eyes as he looked up at her.

"Elda," she breathed, looking up at the woman. She'd forgotten her, but she remembered her now. Nodding obediently, Shuck carefully pushed herself upright with Elda's help and looked around at the other women. She struggled to remember their names. Turning back to Elda, she wiped at the tears on her face. She couldn't even remember how long she'd been pregnant, let alone why it would be too early. But she tentatively touched her belly and remembered the joy... and the struggle.

I'll wait. She had been waiting. Why had she been waiting? A heart. He'd brought back her heart!

Memories began to sort themselves out and, though she was tired and still in some pain, she was no longer as disoriented as she was before. She laid her head back into the pillows, her breathing slowed, and she ran her hand over her belly. Things began to make more sense, but there were still gaps. Joseph could have told her, but he wasn't here.

Looking to Elda as she instructed her, Shuck nodded. She sounded so calm and sure when Shuck was on the verge of terror and panic. She didn't know what she meant, or what she was supposed to do. Her life had revolved around death, not the welcoming of new life into the world. The natural cycle of things was not lost on her, but she hadn't really had the opportunity to witness a lot of births in her cemetery.

"I'm not sure..." She hesitated, continuing to touch her stomach. Trust. She had to trust these women she barely remembered.

And then there, through the door, was his voice. Her eyes brightened even as they glossed over, and her lip trembled. Her heart hammered once and an overwhelming weight forced the air from her lungs. It was difficult to breathe again, and the smile that broke across her face was accompanied by a hitched breath. "Joseph," she called. He was here! He couldn't be in the room, but he was still here. She could see him soon. And her heart, her heart, felt as though it was caught in her throat.

She could say it. She knew she could say it, but she didn't want to say it through the door. "I know." The first time she said it, she wanted to see it in his beautiful brown eyes. Pushing herself up, she ignored the stiff way her whole body moved and looked at Elda.

"I want to walk." She was restless as if something were coming. It felt as though she should have been somewhere other than here, and her eyes were a bit wild as she glanced at the window. No. She was here, and here she would remain. The wards around the room hummed and glimmered like soapy bubbles, a phenomenon that likely had to do with her Sight. Could Elda see it, too?

With some assistance, she was capable of standing and walking around. Her hips and her back hurt, for obvious reasons, but standing seemed more right than lying down. She still hadn't fully recovered from the pain that had awakened her, but she had Elda help her to the door. The wood was cold and hard, but he was on the other side. It was enough.

"I'll see you soon," she whispered, resting her head against the wood. She had waited, he had brought back her heart, and they were going to be a family now.

Shuck walked away from the door with a renewed resolve and determination. The passage of time was strange, broken between pains that came closer together but grew shorter in length. Powerful and painful, she wasn't surprised she'd been snatched out of the abyss of death. But every time she felt like she couldn't do it, Elda and the women were there to encourage her, reminding her to breathe, to relax when the pain passed, and to hold her steady when she swayed. She screamed, she cried, forgot to breathe, and had vomited at some point. Whatever coherence she had managed early on soon faded as exhaustion rushed in to take its place. Shuck was tiring quickly, and her little one rarely kicked, but she could feel something coming closer.

When she felt it, however, the confusion and uncertainty melted away. She'd been too restless to lie down, but her legs had been too weak to kneel or stand. But they'd provided a stool, intended for this purpose, and when she carefully perched herself on it, it felt the most right. The room changed quickly. Shuck was no longer wandering, waiting for the pain to come and go, and she didn't need Elda to tell her it was time. She didn't know a lot, but her body told her what to do.

After what must have been hours of pain and dozens of contractions, the pushing seemed brief by comparison. It hurt beyond description, and her vision wavered more than once, but they were always there, reassuring her and telling her to keep going. She was so close; she had to keep going; she was almost there. And with one final push, she was.

Shuck sat back, slick with sweat and utterly spent. One of them -- she didn't even know or care who at this point -- was wiping the hair that clung to her drenched face back, congratulating her. There wasn't a wailing cry but a small whimper, a mewl of something small and delicate. And there, laid on her chest, it was. Shuck automatically put her hands up to receive whatever they'd given her. Panting, she opened her heavy eyes to look down at the babe on her chest.

It -- she was so small, but she was squirming gently. She was the color of smoke and fog, a soft silver as fair and soft as doves, with a faint covering of dark hair on top of her head. The veil of exhaustion parted and awe took its place. She laughed, unable to process the weight of the feelings that crashed over her. Tears came of their own volition, and she was content to sit back and hold her for a while. She delivered the placenta, the women cleaned them both up, and helped her and the little one into bed. The baby was quiet, making soft little noises as she was passed back to Shuck's eager arms. She was tiny, and had trouble latching at first, but the women were competent mothers and nurses, and soon enough her little one latched on.

"She's so quiet," she said softly as if speaking too loudly would disturb her. She hadn't looked away from her and her fingers roamed over her. Shuck touched her dark hair, the gentle point of her ears, her little cheeks. She stayed curled up tight in her little blanket, seeming as tired as her mother, but she was there and she was perfect. Everything had been worth it.

// Joseph Meier //
 
Joseph stayed right next to the door through it all. He heard her scream, and cry. He heard her exhaustion and the women encouraging her, giving her sips of water and letting her vomit. His family were good midwives and the wards were for luck and feminine energy. He didn’t dare disturb her. He smiled when she gave her customary response to his expressions of love. She was everything to him. He chewed his fingers when she screamed and listened for that cry. He needed to hear that shriek from those powerful little lungs. Instead he heard quiet.

Elda stared. The child was tiny. A fourth the size of the last child she’d delivered, an eight pound boy. She silently encouraged the little one to latch. They had a little trouble and for a moment she was afraid she wouldn’t. She had to. The little one was so small and weak...Elda heard a wheezing when she breathed. Phoebe looked down. Weak little ones like this were a coin toss. She couldn’t stand the idea of Joseph losing yet another baby.

“Shuck?” Joseph sounded scared. Elda quietly dismantled the wards and took Shucks hand.
“She is very small, and very weak. Handle her very gently, and nurse her as often as she’ll take. No going outside. She’s going to be very frail...and listen to her lungs. She doesn’t sound quite right.” Elda told her gently. “She has a chance, but you’re going to need to be strong for her.”

Joseph couldn’t wait until Phoebe opened the door. She and Alice bustled out of the room with the stained sheets and bloody rags. Joseph rushed in... and saw not a large healthy baby, but something out of a nightmare. Adriana was so tiny...she wasn’t crying but murmuring as she nursed. He hurried to Shuck’s side and kissed her, tentatively touching the little bundle he knew in an instant he would die for. He kissed the top of Adriana’s head, settling next to her in bed. He needed to be nearer to her but it wasn’t sexual. Elda smiled and left the room, and Joseph happily stripped and tossed his brace to the floor. He settled his head on the pillow and cuddled up to his lover and his child. “She’s beautiful. I hope she didn’t inherit my stature.” Joseph said softly.

He had to know. He gently pulled back the swaddling to see two perfect, chubby baby legs. He kissed each of her feet and smiled. He kissed Shuck. “I love you.” He whispered, staring into her eyes.

Joseph looked up at her. “Do you need more pillows? Water? Anything? I’d bring down the moon for you.” He kissed her again. “Trahaearn needs to see her as soon as you’re ready. Gods. We owe him so much. Ellis hasn’t left his side since we got back. I’d...like to have him be the godfather if that’s alright. You don’t have to give me an answer now.”
 
She had felt the quiet before she had understood it. Shuck hadn't minded it -- had thought it appropriate after the ruckus she'd caused. Lying back in the pillows like a sack of flour, she was ready for some peace while her body recovered. It had done something amazing, but at a great cost. Why, then, did the quiet feel so much worse when she heard Joseph call for her through the door?

Elda's sober warning, however, made her look up with wide, fearful eyes. She listened, even if she wanted to scream over the awful reality she was giving her. No! She'd worked so hard to keep her. They couldn't lose her now. Shuck looked worriedly back at her little one. She was so proud of her. It didn't matter that she was little and frail. Yet it hadn't occurred to her that something might have been wrong. Having never seen a baby this new, she hadn't even known...

"Did I do something wrong?" She was doing her best to hold back tears. Strong. She had to be strong for her. But when she looked up at Elda she was weak, young, and scared new mother who had no idea what she was doing.

She felt the wards dismantling, and she hastily wiped away her tears. She needed to be strong for Joseph, too. Not that she could remember why, but it felt important that everything seemed okay when he came in to see them. And she saw it on his face when he came charging in-- not quite disappointment and not quite fear, but some strange middling emotion as he took in the sight of her little one.

It didn't matter. It felt as though she hadn't seen him an eternity. Seeing him made her chest tight and her breath short. Her Joseph. He came to sit beside them, and she reached a hand toward him. She just needed to touch him, to make sure that he was real and not some dream her mind had invented to torture her. He was indeed real, as was the gentle kiss he placed on her lips. Shuck smiled proudly up at him as he looked down at the babe.

"It's a girl." She was lost in the sight of him looking down at their baby, that initial look of uncertainty more plainly one of worry and deep, fierce love she knew all too well. He wasn't disappointed, just... scared. Like she was.

Shuck laughed lightly, though the jostling made her body ache. She was smiling when Elda left, and she was only smiling more when Joseph stripped and climbed into bed with them. He was cool to the touch, but it felt good against her burning hot skin.

Taking a deep breath, she watched with a slightly furrowed brow as Joseph quietly peeled back the swaddling to look her over, slowly as if he were afraid of what he might see. It took her a very long moment to understand why, and her chest tightened strangely around a sudden light leaping of her heart.

He was checking to make sure she hadn't been born like him. The strange, agonizing gait of her heart was too much, and Shuck made a small, broken sound. "She's perfect." She was so proud. Why was everyone so convinced that something was wrong with her? Even if she'd been born with a foot like Joseph's, he was living proof that even small, misshapen things were still capable of great beauty.

And when he looked up at her with a smile and whispered those words, she felt it crash through her -- the unbridled love she'd known had been there but was just unable to truly feel. Her conviction had been right. He took the breath right out of her lungs, and she held his dark eyes for a long moment until she could muster her mouth to work.

"I love you, too," she whispered back. And she did. She felt it in the roaring of her pulse in her ears. She felt it in the giddy twist in her stomach. She felt it in the pride with which she held the offspring of their union. He was her everything, and she'd finally been able to say it. How long had she waited? It felt like forever.

Smiling like a fool, Shuck laid back in the pillows and shook her head. "I know. I'm fine, Joseph," she assured him quietly. However, she frowned when he named two people.

"...Who are they?" she asked after a moment's hesitation. She should have known. The change in his expression told her plainly how terrible it was that she had forgotten. "I don't remember a lot," she admitted. "I lost something, but you brought back my heart. It'll all be okay soon, right?"

// Joseph Meier //