Fable - Ask It's The Ground That Kills You

[Lolani]

Rickel was busy trying to make a list of all the damages on the ship and what they would need to repair them. She could not help but hear her Captain and mumbled under her breath.

"We might already have one if you paid people worth a shit."

If this wasn't one of the few airships that he could get on as a pilot, she would have neem long gone...She would have taken Sabine with her...maybe Karnage.

"What are we going to do with the ship? Or are we just going to leave this crashed cloud for any random person to find?"

"By the way, how much money do we have. They would need to use a good chunk to get everything they would need."

Karnage Sabine Roger Fairweather

 

[Sabine]

"Thinkin' you said you'd be watching the sky, Cap'n." Sabine reminded their wondrous leader. Tone gentle enough to think she might have been talking to an invalid.

Her head rolled slightly as she glanced towards the ship, lips thinning. "Well."

Sabine remarked.

"I don't reckon' we have to worry about anyone stealin' her." There was absolutely no way that anyone was getting The Icarus off the ground. Least not without a weeks worth of work and a rather large chest of gold.

Plus, she doubted that many people in this area of the world were particularly learned when it came to repairing airship. Fuck it had taken her and Rickie three months to learn how to move the damn thing. "But, maybe we throw a 'lil foliage on her, eh?"

A shrug rolled over her shoulder.

Then she turned her head as Karnage called out. She beamed at the great big lug, waltzing over in a slow stride.

"Good job, big guy." Sabine said, patting the Shark-man's massive bicep and motioning for the others.

 

[Karnage]

Karnage resisted from clapping his hands together and instead fiddled with the large beaded necklace around his thick, leathery neck. He angled his head this way and that way, listening to each individual. Captain was going to retrieve his lucky, handy-dandy saber, lil Rickie mentioned money and lil Sabby came up with a wonderful plan to hide their ship.

“If Weeze needs da monies,” Karnage said, holding up a single finger to signal it was his time to speak now— something he had picked up from his time working for his mafia-boss “father” (and if someone spoke when his finger was up then Karnage got to squish their head in!!!)— “then do Weeze do the wrestlin’ of arms tricksy?” He asked. He was of course referring to that one genius plan they had set up months ago during a harvest festival of some town with a long-winded name that Karnage had forgotten the moment he heard it.

Who came up with the plan was also something Karnage had forgotten, but it was a good one! Arm-wrestling the shark man! He had arm-wrestled humans, elves, orcs, a strong man, a stronger woman, and a minotaur! The best part was they had used a large pile of fool’s gold to actually gather some real coin! Of course the moment some eagle-eyed mage pointed out the reward for beating Karnage wasn’t a reward at all they had been chased out… but at least they had been chased out richer than when they first entered!

Karnage’s nostrils flared for a moment in delight of the pleasant memory and then he nodded his head at the two smaller women.

“Weeze hide da ship first, yah?” He said as if it had been a afterthought, and without much more thought, he bent over, ripping two large handfuls of flowers, tearing out the roots as well so that showers of earth fell from his gray fingers. With a serious look he threw the freshly murdered flora, dirt still falling down, and threw it at the ship.

 

[Roger Fairweather]

Roger came out of his quarters, green mug in one hand, saber in hand (and mind woefully concerned with the awful mess inside his room that he'd have to cajole someone else into cleaning up later). Came out right as Karnage suggested hiding the ship.

"Yes. Of course. Wily scavs all around Arethil, you know. How could anyone just steal things without asking?"

He kept a perfectly straight face saying that.

"Hmm. So. Best way to camouflage the ship in our present environs. Hmmmm...I've got it! How about we throw a 'lil foliage on her, eh?"

Roger went waltzing down to the deck of the Icarus, and by the time he was there Karnage was already tossing fistfuls of the local plantlife aboard, showing incredible initiative (remember to take away Sabine's raise and give it to Karnage later; why, the least Sabine could've done was come up with a plan to hide the ship).

"Excellent work, Karnage! A few hundred more and the Icarus will be practically invisible!"

Oh, brilliant idea! He looked to Rickel. She knew about the cloud-smoke-camou system thing that Sabine in her incompetence had activated.

"Oh, Rickie~! Why don't we replace our old smoke system with one that uses plants instead? We'd be practically invisible! I know because I just said so!"

Rickel Sabine Karnage

 

[Lolani]

Rickel just watched incredulously as the two men began throwing grass and dirt all of the ships. They were doing very little for the actual camouflage, and even worse it was making the ship dirty.

She wanted to yell at them but stopped when the Captain asked his question. She stopped and stared at him as a realization came over her. It was one that she had had several times before, but she always just shooed away until it came back up. This man is an idiot.

"You want us, a flying ship, to have camo consisting of grass and dirt?... A little counterproductive for us when we are in the air...You know, the place we actually want to in."

She looked over to Sabine for some bit of help when dealing with these two. It always felt like she was losing brain cells if she spoke with them too long.

"Let's just go...Please."

Sabine Karnage Roger Fairweather

 

[Sabine]

Sabine too, found her brain cells beginning to howl in furious alarm. "I…ah."

Her lips snapped shut as she decided any answer to the Captains 'plant camouflage' system suggestion would be unduly rude. For a brief moment she wondered if it might be better to leave the man behind, maybe show him some shiny rocks on the cliff he could entertain himself with.

At least Karnage had a certain…innocent charm about him.

But half the time Sabine wondered why they even kept the Captain around at all. Though each time she was about to suggest throwing him overboard, the man somehow miraculously manifested a lead on some treasure. Usually a pile of gold, but sometimes parts for the ship or even designs for it. The man seemed preternaturally lucky in keeping those around just happy enough not to kill him.

"Yes'm, Cap I think it best we…just head on. The Icarus will be dandy." She stepped over toward Karnage. Patting him on the shoulder before he ripped a tree from the ground and threw it at the ship. "Letsus see what's down the road, eh big guy? Might have you doin some wrestlin' down the line."

They had, after all, next to no gold left.

Not after the last set of repairs.

 

[Karnage]

Karnage, oblivious to the tension mainly because the Captain was smiling, clapped his large hands together twice, causing little puffs of dirt to emit from each loud clap. And it was quite a good thing that Sabine had motioned it was time for them to move on, because throwing a tree would be right up his alley— after all, one couldn’t deny that the mast did look like a tree trunk so why not have two tree trunks!

Did that make sense? It did in Karnage’s grapefruit-sized mind. So without much hesitation, he lumbered after Sabine, walking extra slow and extra careful so that he wouldn’t barrel into her. Didn’t want the nice one to go splat!

“The wrestlin’ be a goods idea.” He said, swinging his head around for a moment, getting a much more detailed idea of their bearings. In the water he could sense things much easier, on land however, his range was less and some ideas were so blurry he could hardly distinguish such things. But the path, especially as they continued to follow it, became more clear and clear.

As the four sky pirates would continue, cresting up a rather large hill, they would see the smallest, tiniest village either would have ever come across. Was village even the right word? There was no more than four little quaint cottages surrounded by what only could be plots of dirt used for farming and harvesting. Karnage sniffed.

“Cucumbers.” He said with a growl. He hated cucumbers!

 

[Roger Fairweather]

Ah, so his council of advisors wanted to shelf the new camouflage plan. Stellar idea, it did need a little more fine tuning, and they could always revisit it later. Besides, wasn't it high time Sabine earned her cut of the spoils, anyway? And Rickel too, what did she do exactly? Why, if they made themselves useful and overhauled the camouflage system, he'd take all of Karnage's cut on the next score and split it between them (after the Captain's fee was taken out, of course).

"Off we go, then!"

A nice brisk walk. Good for the soul, and also for stretching out one's weary legs after being cooped up on a ship for too long. Also, a hero needed his exercise, don't you know? The Icarus wasn't going to save itself from destruction!

Up the hill.

And there was the quaint little village down the ridge.

"Look at all of these generous donations just waiting for us!" Roger exclaimed, throwing out his arms as if hugging the village from afar. "I love quiet villages, they're so complaint! And how tough could denizens of the Spine be anyway? Louts probably can't even swim. Heh, go easy on 'em, Karnage, you might destroy their fragile pride!"

Karnage was rather good at arm-wrestling, wasn't he? It was as if the shark-man had two other sharks for arms! Fearsome stuff!

Sabine Rickel Karnage

 

[Lolani]

Rickel followed along with a sigh, just thankful that her ship was no longer getting assaulted by airborne trees. The walk itself was nice at first seeing as Rickie was an athletic young woman who did enjoy walks and a little bit of exercise, but then she remembered something incredibly important to the situation. She absolutely hated the woods. It only took one big bite to remind her of that.

She perked up a bit when the other said they spotted a village, so she hurried to the front of the group to get a view, and then instantly deflated. It was four cottages and they were all clearly farmers. They weren't going to be finding even close to enough money. Hell, they would be lucky if they got enough money to pay for Karnage and the Captain's eating habits. While Karnage ate more, Captain always seemed to pick out the most expensive things on the menu.

"We're going to be stuck here forever at this rate. Karnage, hurry up and do whatever it is you are doing and then let's move on."

Karnage Sabine Roger Fairweather

 

[Sabine]

They were easy going, as far as pirates went, but they were still Pirates.

Sabine had never liked the crews that murdered and maimed for no real reason. There had to be a point to the violence. Smashing someone over the head until their brains burst out didn't make much sense when that noggin' was holding a heck of a lot of information.

"Right!" Sabine said in agreement with her companions. Head slowly swiveling for a moment as she turned to regard the four houses.

"Karnage, my Darlin'." She said looking up at the hulk. "Mind rustlin' us up someone to talk to?"

The engineer asked. "Put a lil' fear in 'em."

Sabine very highly doubted that the people here had much of anything, but they probably knew somebody who did. Besides, it was always best to offer up a strong opener to the conversation. Being friendly didn't really get you no wheres.

"MONSTER!"​

A voice broke out from the field suddenly, a man looking to be about the Captain's age. His eyes bulged open, and he pointed at Karnage. Shouting in either shock or warning. "Oh, a volunteer."

She remarked.

 

[Karnage]

Karnage kept walking, being a step too fast for everyone else but he couldn’t help it that he had the longest and biggest legs of the group! And so off he led the group, his family, making sure that they were safe from all the encroaching cucumbers. Nasty little things, they looked like snakes and tasted like fresh water. Yuck. Who wanted fresh water?

Suddenly, he stopped, and looked over at Rickel as she spoke.

“Wut is meez doin’?” He asked her, quite genuinely. He had forgot. The cucumbers had distracted him. And just in time to remind the shark man was good ole lil Sabbie. He swung his large head over to her and nodded excitedly. “Yeh, Meez can goes and do some smashin’.” Karnage said and then looked over at Lil Rickie. “Meez go scarezies and then weez go… scarezies some more.” He placed his thick hands on his hips, about ready to say something else until he heard a shout.

He looked over. A decently tall man with a rather rotund belly that matched the shape of his bald head. Karnage growled, his lip curling up.

“Hey!” He shouted, beginning to charge towards the villager, “Youz says sorry to lil Rickie right now!” Obviously the scary one was Rickel, look at that sour face!

 

[Roger Fairweather]

"I've got this, I've got this!" Roger was quick to reassure his wavering crew, flapping his hands off to his sides in gesture for them all to calm down. By the many masts of Teth, where would they be without him? "And yes, Rickie, Karnage is right, stow that scowl right now!"

Why, she'd scared the ever-loving Astra out of the poor farmer! Karnage was quick on the uptake there, assessing the situation flawlessly and demanding an apology for his fellow crewmate (ah, but was there a way to reward him while also taking all of his cut on the next score? Maybe he could pay the sharkman in teeth. His own teeth. That he shed all over the place aboard the Icarus. Call it a bonus even, ooo, lovely).

Of course it was a bit rude of the farmer to go so far as to call Rickie a monster, but that just opened the door for a little squeezing for humble reparations after the parley was done.

Roger sheathed his saber and held up his hands in peace (green mug held up there too, as it were) and stepped ahead of the group. "Ahoy and salutations, friend! Don't mind the unseemly appearances behind me, we mean you no harm. We've merely run into a trifle of trouble! Would you mind a wholesome chat?"

And, well, if he did mind, why that was just free license for Sabine to practice her tackling technique, for Rickie to step on the sorry bloke, and for Karnage to coax out that apology a little more actively.

Rickel Sabine Karnage

 

[Lolani]

Rickel grit her teeth at the comments from the shark and her Captain. She forced a thin smile to her face, the only thing making that possible was the lovely images in her head of hanging her Captain from the shoulder with one of her hooks.

Just who were they calling monster? It was obviously Karnage, but they had the nerve to call her a monster. She would be sure to make the next ride very bumpy when both of them went to take their naps...If she did heavy turn in the airship and the Captain fell off. Was that her fault? She was sure Sabine wouldn't blame her.

"This is ridiculous."

What were they going to do? Extort these farmers for their potatoes. That wouldn't be any profit. Karnage would eat them all before they even had a chance to sell any of them.

Sabine Karnage Roger Fairweather

 

[Sabine]

The farmer, of course, was utterly scared shitless.

Within half a second of Karnage speaking up his eyes went wide and his mouth went dry. He heard the massive shark-man call out, his steps shaking the ground as he began to charge. Then the Captain spoke up, his voice offering a fair-weather conciliation.

Sabine, for her lot, was just laughing.

Behind the others she had broken out into a wild fit of giggles as she watched the farmer probably quite literally shit himself. A part of her knew it was cruel. Mean beyond compare, but she never got tired of watching people quake in terror at the big lug.

"No! No! Please Don't eat me!"​

The farmer called.

"I didn't! I'm sorry!"​

The man's arms were waving wildly, clearly trying to get Fairweather to call off Karnage.

"I'll do anything! A chat yes, please a chat. Just...just don't eat me okay?!"​

He demanded in a panic.

 

[Karnage]

Karnage, for the briefest moment, felt something just click inside his brain. A thought, one powerful enough to override his instincts. Something that spoke volumes over the smell of fear that radiated from his prey— FROM THIS VILLAGER (and his poop.) The Kamu stopped in his tracks, his arms still outreached and poised to grab the man. He sniffed, and then turned his head to look back at the captain. Because there was something that the captain said, something that made Karnage stop dead in his tracks.

Friend.

This was a “friend?”

While Karnage understood family, the word having such power over the sharkman more than anyone could ever know, friend was a strange word he had picked up on the land. From his first father. When someone was a friend… well, they weren’t family, but they were close to family. And Karnage wouldn’t ever hurt his family. Because hurting friends meant family cried.

And unfortunately, Karnage couldn’t beat the shit out of sadness.

“Meez won’t eats youse, youse mah fr… fren now.” Karnage said, and then without a second though, he gently, very, very, VERY gently, reached out one large hand and gently patted the bald head. “Issa won’t talk ‘bout youse not bein’ potty trained. Meez potty train meself, Meez tells youse secret later.” He whispered to the man.

Without another thought, Karnage picked up the villager— despite his protests— and threw him over one thick shoulder, walking back over to the captain and the others before setting the frightened man down.

 

[Roger Fairweather]

Sabine's giggling was, of course, dreadfully infectious. Captain Roger Fairweather of the Icarus (as formidable a pirate as there ever was!) struggled to keep his expression from cracking open into a jeering grin. Oh a genial smile was fine. Preferred, in fact. But his lips were rocking around as if his mouth were a sack and a small animal was fiercely trying to pry its way out.

"It's not..." Roger started to say. He covered his mouth with a fist, had to compose himself, and tried again. He said to Sabine, "It's not funny!"

Okay, the way Karnage picked the farmer up and tossed him over his shoulder was a bit funny. Did you see the way his head bounced off of the sheer girth of Karnage's hulking back? In one fell swoop the man went from being a farmer, a pillar of his community, to effectively a child's plaything. What a day for him.

He cleared his throat and stuck out his hand to the farmer. "Roger. Roger Fairweather! Say, friend, spare us a word or two on this hovel—HOME—this lovely home and village you have here. We're just a little lost, aren't we Rickie?"

Rickel Sabine Karnage

 

[Lolani]

"Lost as a Cerakinite in a church."

Rickel said as she looked over the poor man they were bullying. Maybe they could find where another, much large village was near bad. Then, they could actually get some supplies.

She could use some lunch though, so maybe Karnage could 'politely' ask for some food. Knowing the crew, K would keep playing with the man until he accidentally killed him or something. Then the Captain would just ignore it, as that was what he did to things that might be a problem. Sabine might help, once the laughing fit died down.

Rickie continued to fiddle with a hook at her belt that was also connected to a thing of rope also tied to her hip.

"Sorry, sir, but we really could use your help."

If K and Captain were going to be the nice, but also crazy side, then she would be the actually nice side. That would work, right?

Karnage Roger Fairweather Sabine

 

[Sabine]

Sabine took in deep, wracking breaths. Doing her best to pull herself together. A hand covering her face as she whipped her hair and began to settle slightly. She shook her head from side to side, coughing slightly as though covering a fit.

"I...I...sweet Kress..." The pirate said, covering her chuckles before finally drawing herself back up straight.

The farmer slung across Karnage's shoulder seemed now more perplexed than afraid. The terror was still there of course, it was hard for it not to be when a giant shark-man handled you like a child, but he seemed utterly bewildered by the crew around him.

"Y-you're in Farrun."​

He stammered out, looking as dignified as a sack of potatoes.

"West of the spine."​

"Farrun?" Sabine echoed with a frown, as if saying the word would somehow help her locate the city in her head. "That don't help us much, darlin'. There an actual city near?"

The Farmer turned his head ever so slightly, his features paling and eyes whispering a plea to make sure Karnage didn't hurt him.

"C-closest is Kerak Althrum."​

A loud groan escaped Sabine, head tilting towards the sky. "Dwarves."

 

[Karnage]

Karnage kindly set the farmer down as gently as he could. As gently as a bull could set down a china teapot, but effort and concentration must have worked because the man was unharmed.

Karnage listened to all the others and tilted his head.

“Oi, oi, oi.” Karnage said once Sabine said the single word that seemed to put the whole crew on edge. “Thems the hairy midgets?” He asked, looking around. He then slumped his shoulders forward. “Dwafes dun like Meez.” Karnage said, looking quite dejected.

 

[Roger Fairweather]

Thems the hairy midgets?

"Awfully hairy," Roger concurred. "And I am in no way jealous of those luxurious beards." Absolutely not. Just because the extent of his facial hair terminated precisely where his sideburns ended, his chin forever having been a desert of manliness, didn't make him jealous at all.

Roger placed his hands on his hips, entering into a moment's contemplation. Hmmm. West of the spine, eh? Seemed their course had gone slightly awry, that blasted thunderstorm from a couple days ago probably having a lot to do with it—weather was even more of a bother in the air than it was at sea! But here they were, and the target of their treasure-seeking intentions nestled in the peaks of the Spine would just have to wait. Tomorrow's problem, as a wise man once said! (That wise man was Roger, for any who might be curious.)

"Kerak Althrum..." Roger mused, tapping his (hairless) chin with a finger. Then he glanced around at his crew, disregarding the frightened farmer for the time being. "Who's the expert on dwarves among us? Is it you, Sabine? There must be a story behind that groan. Or, I say, could it be you, Karnage? Why aren't our stout friends fond of you? RICKIE! No need to be so shy, I'd bet a fraudulent gold coin that you've had at least one run-in with a shortstack before."

Rickel Sabine Karnage