Completed It’s The Great Pumpkin, Shiloh Albright!

[Shiloh Albright]

[A very short and zany thread for any character to jump in. A little spooky writer challenge: each post cannot be longer than five sentences and the thread will end in ten days from today no matter what.]

“Damnit, Mr. Sneezy, I told you it was newt’s foot not newt’s tail!” Shiloh Albright had on her signature all-black look, but had decided to throw a white sheet over her head with two small holes for her eyes before donning her black witch hat. She had wanted to play a prank on The Great Impasta 2 patrons that were having a dress up party that she wasn’t invited to— not that she could blame them, many of them were College students that had been in the crossfire of Shiloh’s antics one too many times— which involved turning them all into pumpkins. Instead, from her portable cauldron, the whole pumpkin used for the spell was beginning to grow bigger and bigger. She clutched her broomstick against her chest, ignoring the magical cat beside her that clearly wanted to tell it’s moronic master, “I told you so.”

 

[Vardan]

Vardan slunk through the streets of Elbion unmolested. Those he passed assumed his decrepit, skeletal visage was some sort of elaborate costume or festival illusion. Wherever he was going or coming from, he stopped on account of the cursed pumpkin.​

​

He gave it some consideration as it swelled and cracked the cauldron, thoughtfully tapping his chin before rendering his verdict.​

​

"Hnnnnnh, the unhappy working of an incompetent," he helpfully observed, "And now what?"​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

“What did you call me?” Shiloh turned around, pointing the end of her broom at the man who had paid way too much for a cheap spooky glamor. The pumpkin kept growing and the cauldron was too small too hold it, cracking and groaning from the pressure.

“I’ll have you know that I have this totally under control and—“ CRACK! The cauldron broke but the orange pumpkin remained unscathed as it kept growing bigger.

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

"Incompetent, nnh," Vardan repeated, "Thy meagre charms have conjured peril..."​

​

Still the pumpkin swelled, and the bowl of the cauldron finally snapping open to make way for it. Vardan only watch with the cool patience of someone without anything better to do - his previous tasks forgotten. Soon, he reckoned, he would have to get out of the pumpkin's way.​

​

He tapped his chin again, then his empty sockets settled on Shiloh, "Ah, thou shouldst control it, then - with haste."​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

“Ah, thou shouldst control it then with haste,” Shiloh mocked, if only to help ease the anxiety coursing through her. Mr. Sneezy had been quiet, regarding the skeletal man with bright green eyes before flicking her tail with a knowing yawn.

“I got it under control, watch this,” and with a spin of her broom and a fancy chant or two, Shiloh struck the growing pumpkin with the handle. It didn’t stop growing but instead turned towards Vardan, now with eyes, a nose and a mouth.

It opened its mouth and could say only one thing: “Papa?”

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

Long ago, Vardan had himself been a father. It tickled his rotten heart to be referred to as one again, though not in a way conducive to preventing what would happen next.​

​

Wisps of black fire danced at Vardan's fingertips as he raised his hands, silent working foul sorcery. Gnarled roots emerged from the underside of the pumpkin as four massive legs, even as it continued to grow - its face warped into a cruel, malevolent sneer.​

​

If there were any doubt as to his intentions, then it should be noted he cackled maniacally while this went on.​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

As Vardan laughed, so did the growing pumpkin, matching their pseudo-father note for note. The laughter was far less menacing, almost with a hint of childlike glee, but regardless Shiloh felt a frisson go down her spine.

“You’re making it worse!”

“PAPA!” The miniature-horse size pumpkin screeched, it’s voice echoing all around.

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

Vardan's laughter tapered off into a rattling cough, but he nevertheless clarified to Shiloh: "I have merely instilled it with new, dreadful purpose, my dear lambkin."​

​

The dreadful pumpkin-horse now rivaled the squat, homely buildings of Elbion's residential district for size. Perhaps it would grow further. For now, Vardan jabbed a finger in the direction of The Great Impasta 2 - a coincidence, of course - and commanded it to do his bidding.​

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"Go forth and wreak havoc on the living!"​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

“Yes, Papa— wreak havoc on the living, ah HA HA!” The growing pumpkin giggled and tried to move for the first time with the gnarled roots that Vardan had gifted it with. It’s first step was a shaky one, too certain and without proper skill so that it caused unbalance which had the pumpkin tip over onto it’s side.

“You can’t be doing this, you said for me to control it but you’re making it do evil things!” Shiloh protested as the pumpkin began to upright itself to try standing and walking again.

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

Vardan held up a hand, signaling his unsteady pumpkin-horse-child to stop and wait. He turned now to Shiloh, hands held up as if to surrender, and spread his bony fingers, "Art thou not a sorceress...? If thou shouldst desire to stop me... Then work thine arts, and writ thy will upon reality."​

​

He wiggled his fingers ominously.​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

Shiloh’s stiff shoulders were tight before slumping as she shook her head, supposing that the man with the cheap glamor had warned her to fix the mess she had made. She almost wished that the pumpkin had turned to her and imprinted, or whatever it was it had done, instead of the strange man, but that wasn’t the solution to the problem.

“Yeah, okay, I got it, I know a spell or two,” Shiloh said, resting her broom in the crook of her elbow and racking her memory for something to help.” Perhaps taking a page from the stranger’s book, she wiggled her own fingers as well before whispering a quiet chant.

The pumpkin gave a small scream in response, brightly colored polka dots appearing all over it’s hardened orange skin.

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

It took Vardan a long, painful, silent moment to realize that there was to be nothing beyond the polka dots. He walked the short space between them, then moved to flick Shiloh right between the eyes.​

​

"Art thou simple?" He demanded, "That cannot be the true extent of thy sorcery. Go again, afore my patience deserts me."​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

“Ow,” Shiloh muttered, rubbing the red skin between her eyes and now glaring at Vardan as he all at once insulted her but made her more determined to prove her wrong. It only occurred to her then that she didn’t need to shrink the pumpkin, and make inanimate, but to stop it in some way. Mr. Sneezy was laughing in the way cats laughed, and went to the lich, arching her back and rubbing her head on particularly well placed boot that was perfect for cheek scratching.

And so instead of focusing on the pumpkin, Shiloh began a different spell, this time involving a pebble on the ground beside her foot and levitating it up and above the much, much larger pumpkin’s head. She didn’t enlarge the pebble but instead increased it’s density exponentially— something useful if one ever wanted to make their boots heavier so they could sink to the bottom of the ocean— and then let it drop.

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

Vardan seemed to forget about Shiloh for the moment - he stooped over to pick up Mr. Sneezy and stroke him gently behind the ears.​

​

The pebble passed through the pumpkin-horse like a crossbow bolt through paper - causing it to wobble precariously before pitching over and smashing into the ground. The enchanted, polka-dot pumpkin cracked open against the cobblestone ground, spewing steaming, pumpkin viscera everywhere - its root legs began to wither and recede into mere stumps.​

​

"P-papa," the pumpkin-horse-child stammered through its death throes, "W-was I a- a good..."​

​

"Silence, gourd," said Vardan, and that was the last thing the pumpkin heard before "expiring" and beginning to recede to its original size.​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

“I feel kinda guilty,” Shiloh said as the pumpkin-horse-child sputtered their final words to Vardan. She looked over to the man, still not liking his costume, but deciding that it couldn’t be that cheap if he seemed much more adept to magic than she was.

“You could have said something nice to it at the very least, it thought you were its father!” The empathy was brief, coming from a self-centered notion of she herself being unloved by her own parents.

Mr. Sneezy rubbed her cheek against the sharp jut of Vardan’s jaw, purring loudly, before speaking, “It was a pumpkin, Shiloh, the lich couldn’t be it’s father.”

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

Vardan's skeletal jaw swung open and he held Mr. Sneezy up for close inspection - even in these magical times, talking pets were not terribly commonplace.​

​

"Fret not on thy guilt," Vardan chided Shiloh, eventually setting down Mr. Sneezy once he was satisfied, "It was thy desire to stop the aberration - relish such victory, methinks they do not come easily to one such as thee."​

​

Vardan produced (seemingly from thin air) a rusted brooch stamped with the faded symbol of his family and presented it for Shiloh to take.​

​

"Here, a reward for thy amusements."​

​

The brooch radiated sinister magic - wisps of black smoke occasionally peeling off of it.​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

Pitch black eyes regarded Vardan with a hint of suspicion that was soon gone from his words to only quickly narrow in indigence at his insult stated as fact. Before she could even try to come up with something witty, the man— lich? Mr. Sneezy was never wrong in her assessment of things— held out a consolation prize.

“Who are you?” Shiloh asked as she took the broach, far too intrigued by the item to worry about what repercussions could come from taking it, even if Mr. Sneezy seemed to struggle in hiding her chuckle.

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

"Vardan," said the lich with the same name, "It is thy pleasure, yes."​

​

He pointed to the brooch, "Crush the mark with thy heel in an hour of need, and I shall appear with haste."​

​

"Appear" was a very strong word and perhaps did not capture the intricacies of the enchantment. Still, a closer inspection would at least reveal it wasn't any sort of death trap.​

​

Vardan meshed his bony fingers together, "Now I must away - enjoy the festivities."​

​

 

[Shiloh Albright]

Shiloh regarded the brooch with unblemished curiosity, rubbing her thumb over the insignia to make sure it wouldn’t fall apart by the slightest touch. Vardan was correct: she would need to crush it with her heel. Putting the brooch into a pocket, she fidgeted for a moment before finding the tin of candy and hold it out to him.

“Then you can have this,” she felt indebted and perhaps didn’t understand how she had amused him— just as much as she didn’t realize that sour lemon candy would be of little use to the lich. She shook the tin to confirm and added a quick, “I already ate a few but there’s some left.”

Vardan

 

[Vardan]

It had been quite some time since Vardan had accepted tribute from anyone. His head titled slightly to one side and gingerly accepted the tin, giving it a shake as well for good measure. Confections rattled around noisily inside.

"Nnnh... Yes, this will do," he decided, "My thanks, dear lambkin."

He went from the alley - carrying the tin in both hands like an eminently pleased old person would - and trudged through the entrails of the pumpkin-horse-child like they weren't even there.

---​

The next day, there would be word of a terrible murder within the College of Elbion: a Maester of the Fourth Order bludgeoned to death with a candy tin. Small yellow sours had scattered haphazardly around the scene.

Rumors swirled that something important had been stolen, but the Foard of Maesters repressed the details and declined further inquiries.