Fable - Ask Don't try to Follow

[Meredith]

Dearest Sable,

Do not follow me, for I know you'll want to. You and I, we've been through a lot together. You made me feel safe, and brought me peace. At least, there was peace. I've realized that I'm unimportant, unneeded here at the academy. Really, to anyone. I don't know what I'll do, but that matters little. What matters is that you take care if yourself, help Noel. There's nothing for me anymore, and you deserve more. Do not follow.

-Meredith


Nervous hands held the note in her hand, but determination kept her focused. Meredith had loved him from the time he first held her, but she couldn't continue to hold him back. Quick footsteps brought her to his room, and she slid the note under the gap of his door. She bit her lip and turned on her heel, desperate to make her departure.

Before she knew it, she was sprinting across the courtyard, breaths escaping her in tiny gasps as tears ran down her pale cheeks. She knew she would break his heart, but she was nothing but a crutch. Hopeless, useless, weak. Those words repeated over and over in her mind, and drove her onwards.

Meredith hadn't even realized where her legs had carried her. Pale cheeks grew even more pale as she slowed. This is where they died. The forest was silent now, but she could still here the echo of death as she walked through the trees.

Fingertips scraped bark as she aimlessly walked, the ghosts of the fallen clutching at her heels. Her mind became dark, her face grim. She should have died here, maybe she still should. Deeper she went, her mind wandering to deeper, darker places. Her broken body at the bottom of a cliff, poisoning her water...the more she thought, the more she walked, the clearer her path seemed to become.

 

[Henk]

"It's haunting, isn't it?"

Amongst the trees that Meredith wandered, not all souls that echoed through the foggy air were those of the departed. Another voice, one very much alive carried to her from another. A wraith haunting the field of bloody battle? A ghostly apparition of her own crumbling psyche? Either seemed plausible.

The manner in which the figure shrouded in a deep green cloak and hood looked in her direction, however, was no trick of the mind. "I've thought about it every night ever since it happened. I'm sure you have too. That helplessness... it's not something you forget easily." It was the voice of a man, his face hidden with shadow, that sympathized with her.

It began to step forward, boots sinking into the soft soil where grass grew over scorched earth and pools of blood and bone. The remnants of the battle had begun to heal over, and soon there would be nothing to suggest a tragedy the likes of which haunted both of them had ever occurred in this forest.

"And... for a while I blamed myself." He slowly lowered to his knees on the ground, running a hand over the fresh grass. "Like I could have stopped it all if I'd just tried a little harder. Like it was my failure. But it's not, and I couldn't. There's nothing either of us could have done, Mer. The failure lay with the Academy, with the Proctors."

The figure's other hand slid up to his hood, pushing it from his head. Henk likely looked a bit different than Meredith had remembered him, but then Henk had been on a journey of his own for some time now.

"I'm glad you're okay, Meredith."

Meredith

 

[Meredith]

Meredith stopped short as a voice filled the void of her reverie. Her green eyes searched around her, fear clutching her chest. In her panicked search, her gaze lit upon a figure before her. His face was covered, and she instinctively took a step back.

Yet, his words held her from straying too far. An echo of her own thoughts spilling from his lips. He kneeled to the earth and she stepped closer, curiosity overwhelming the fear. Everything he said, it was how she felt. She had been absolutely useless. She couldn't help Noel, Sable had been so distraught, and Zael...

A sighing breeze toyed with the hem of her simple white dress, her red hair covering her face for a moment. When it settled, her green eyes were staring into the haunted gaze of..no. "Henk?"

Her voice was a coarse whisper, seeing him was a jolt to her psyche. "I thought you were gone..dead." He looked different, he spoke differently. He was changed, as they all were. "You could at least fight Henk. I..I did nothing. I was useless to everyone else. I should have died here."

Henk

 

[Sable Pembroke]

...Shit...

Sable hadn't been right since the survivors of the Graduation had returned. His mind was plagued with torturous fragments of fleeting memories that didn't make any sense to him. Self doubt flooded his thoughts at all hours, and his nights had been sleepless at best and nightmare ridden at worst. Something had to give soon. Something needed to change.

He crumpled the letter in his fist. This was not the change he needed, nor wanted. This was one more mistake to add to his list of recent failures. Neglect. If he hadn't been so wrapped up in himself, he would have--should have seen the signs. He packed what things he'd need for a short trip and got going as soon as he could. He wasn't certain where Meredith might be headed, but he had a pretty good guess.

---

She couldn't have left that far ahead of him. Sleepless nights and everything. He remembered the sound of the paper shuffling underneath his door. He should have gotten up sooner, maybe then he wouldn't have had to chase her out this far.

Sable sighed. He was no tracker. This chase might have been for naught if Meredith wasn't headed back for the place that everything had gone down. He'd taken only light armor and one of the spare weapons from his collection, an arming sword. With his maul and plate armor destroyed by Noel, he'd still been waiting on the requisition for replacements. He was lucky that those were the only things he'd lost that day. If he lost Mer, too, he didn't know what he'd--

Voices. Up ahead. Sable broke into a sprint, lantern shedding its guiding light through the dark of the forest around him. He was right after all, about everything!

"Meredith! Mer, I--" He cut himself short as he broke into the clearing. There she was, resplendent as ever, red locks blowing gently in the night breeze. His gaze shifted and there was him.

"...You." He addressed Henk, voice dripping with venom. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

 

[Henk]

"Stop it."

It was a short snap that interrupted Meredith's self-loathing. It was a picture he knew far too well from looking into the mirror every morning, and Meredith was far too pure of heart to deserve such a curse. Henk's eyes scanned the empty field, humming lowly, choosing his words before he continued. "You did what you were able. In the end, you stood by your friends until the end."

Far more than could be said of me.

Henk swatted that thought aside. No more pitying himself, he'd promised. That wasn't who they needed. Who she needed. "They're all hurting, just like you. I'm certain your presence is far more comforting than you realize. They need you now, more than ever." It sounded hollow to himself, having left the way he did. Still... "If you didn't have a reason to remain, you would be gone. It's really that simple."

Before another word could leave Henk's lips, a sound in the distance caught his attention. Something moving through the grass. Something quick, but also heavy. Quickly pulling himself to his feet, Henk moved both of his hands under his cloak to grasp the handles of the weapons hidden underneath.

"...You."

Damn it. Sable. Really should have seen that coming.

If looks could kill, Henk would be eviscerated almost instantly. The vitriol in Pembroke's eyes caused him to draw back as he questioned him on his motives. He'd always considered Sable a comrade in arms. To see him with such hate in his face was... Upsetting.

Did they all loathe him so?

Maybe he couldn't come back after all.

"I'm paying my respects, Sable. I never got the chance to."

His eyes briefly glance over at Meredith.

"And telling Meredith not to make the same mistake that I did."

 

[Meredith]

Meredith flinched as if Henk had struck her. His words were sharp, and caused her to withdraw slightly. Fresh tears threatened to fall, and she wiped them away with a delicate hand before they could. The wind stilled, and she could almost hear her own heartbeat.

Henk still kneeled before her, she could run now, take him by surprise. She didn't desire help, his words of wisdom. She wanted release from the hurt that infected her soul. She narrowed her glistening emerald eyes as he spoke. They don't need me, I'm nothing but a ghost in their presence.

Before she could give her bitter, resentful reply, the approach of another paused the conversation. Henk stood, and they both waited. Sable. She cursed under her breath, she should have known better. If Henk hadn't stopped her..well, she wouldn't be here anymore.

Meredith skirted Sable's gaze, unable to look him in the eye. She took a step back from the two of them, then another. She was feeling trapped, and trapped animals run. "I told you not to come Sable." Her voice was devoid of emotion, her hands clenching her clothes.

Emerald eyes looked at Henk briefly, then at Sable. She could feel the tempo of her heart increase, another step backwards. "Don't blame him Sable. He's not the one that caused all of this." A pitying look on her pale face, and then she broke. "Just leave me alone, both of you!" With those final words, she spun and fled. She couldn't do this. Not now, not ever.

Sable Pembroke Henk

 

[Sable Pembroke]

Teeth ground against each other as Sable's jaw set, his expression somewhere between anger and disgust. Sable didn't see a comrade-in-arms in Henk now. He didn't see a peer anymore. He saw a coward and a deserter. More than that, he saw one who didn't even have the decency to choose a side.
"Shut up." Sable spat, volume not at his full, booming capacity but clearly beyond the realm of "calm." "Count yourself lucky I wasn't looking for you. If you really cared you would have followed the rest of us back to the Academy; you spit on their sacrifices with your 'respects.'"

He had more to say to Henk. Whatever gods may have been, did he have more. Henk wasn't his priority right now, though. Whatever contrived justifications he was trying to make for his choices would have to wait until later. Sable was here for one reason only.

"I know what you said, Mer." Sable replied to her, voice immediately much more calm. He had no quarrel with her, not now nor doubtably ever. He could not bring his anger against her. "I'm not blaming Henk. I'm not blaming you either. No one is, I--"

He was cut off by her before he could finish. She ran from him. She just didn't understand, that was all. She had to hear what Sable had to say, then she'd get it. Then she'd know i̵̲̦̪͘t̵̝̮̔̌ ̶̡̣͉͂̚w̶̨̱̌a̸͖̯̔̅ș̸̪̖̽n̷̛̺̓̽'̶̛̮̋̋ť̶̡̗̅͋ ̵͕͑͐m̵̹͎͂y̷̧̛̔̍͜ ̴̧͇̦̀ḟ̵̻͇̩͊a̷̱̮͛ṷ̶̒ḷ̶͖̙̐̽t̶̨̛̪̾͆ͅ.̷͙̫̓ͅ
"Hey! Meredith, wait!" He shouted after her, arm outstretched.
Not even thinking, he conjured a wall of amber light to block her path.

 

[Henk]

There was nothing in Sable's eyes, those furious orbs that seemed to skewer him with resentment and hatred, that Henk hadn't felt about himself in the time since last they'd met. That rage was misplaced when directed at the 'deserter' when the true harbinger of Sable's sorrow had been the people they both had served. Gilram, while far from innocent, hadn't killed any children that day.

That had been the Proctors doing. The audacity to fault Henk for not wishing to return home after an event like that...

"Do you think I don't know that?" Henk snapped, unable to stop himself. "You think I don't know how it made you all feel? I've lived with it ever since, felt the same anger you feel now every time I see my own reflection." It was his own self-loathing that Henk desperately sought to discard before he allowed himself to return. How could Sable understand that? "I didn't kill those Initiates, Sable. My crime is being weak. Crucify me for it if you must, but you know as well as I that your anger with me is far better served elsewhere."

Meredith had heard enough, voice shattering as she fled from the both of them in another fit of anxiety. He felt his scarred face fall. It hadn't been the time for an argument, and he'd allowed his frustration to get the better of him.

A flash of light and a cry from Sable, and a bright wall blocked Meredith's path.

A sigh left his lips. Perhaps he'd been hoping they would leave him here to stew in the guilt that Sable had dredged up. Slowly, Henk moved between the two of them ignoring the danger of placing himself into the path of an angry Sable, a hangdog look about his face.

"Meredith. If you run away now you can never take it back. All that it brought me was guilt and self-reproach. But you have those here who need you. Not for your abilities or your prowess..." Henk cast a slight glance towards Sable. "...But for your heart. One that's bigger than any of ours."

Now, the opposite end of the coin.

"Sable. I'm sorry. Watching what happened that day, it broke me in a way I didn't know I could be broken. The Henk that left that day wasn't fit to be an Initiate, a Dreadlord, or even a Janitor. I would have died than burdened you all with the self-pitying, self-fulfilling prophecy I'd become in that moment."

Teeth bit down on the inside of his cheek.

"Soon though, I plan on returning to you all, if you'll take me. When I do, I swear I'm going to make up for everything. I... I have a plan, I just need time."

 

[Meredith]

Sable's voice had fallen on deaf ears, it was the wall of amber light that stopped her in her tracks. She had her back to the two, her hands clenched into fists, her breathing ragged. The wind began to pick up, whipping her hair into a frenzy of red. A halo of fire amidst a darkening sky. She listened as Henk spoke of his time spent running from what happened. As she listened, the angrier she got. She was mad at everyone, including herself.
Angry at the ones who left, angry at the ones who stayed. They should have all stayed together, that's what family does. They weren't family though, were they? Just tools to be used.

As Henk spoke, tried to reason with her, she grew angrier still. The wind grew angry with her, the trees bowing with the fury of it. She wanted Henk's words to sooth the roiling pit in her heart, but her mind wouldn't allow it. The people she had cared about most, didn't really care about her at all. Not even Sable. Not anyone. The rest of his words, she drowned out, she'd had enough.

She whirled to face them, her palms bloodied from the nails embedded into her skin. Emerald eyes flashing angrily, her hair spilling out behind her in the wind. She was angry that Henk had to be the one to find her and talk with reason she wasn't prepared to accept. She was angry at Sable, how dare he stop her from her own self destruction when he wasn't there when it started.

"How dare you stop me Sable. HOW DARE YOU!" Her eyes filled with angry tears that she furiously tried to blink away. "You weren't there when I needed you after, why are you here now?" They were words she'd regret later, but she was hurting too much to see the damage she was causing to someone she truly loved. Her gaze moved to Henk, and she shook her head. "Heart doesn't matter, being useful does. If they truly needed me, they would have been there. I am worth nothing."

Henk Sable Pembroke

 

[Sable Pembroke]

For a few moments, Sable was a simple, burning, monument to rage. Nothing more than a mindless slave to his basest instinct, an incredible feat in and of itself that he was able to complete the incantation that would conjure the wall of light he'd used to halt Meredith's path. He was deaf to everything but the ringing in his ears and the frustration in his heart.

Then Meredith screamed at him. Sable released the tension in his jaw and his arm pulled back; he glanced at his hand as the fingers curled, the strength in them gone as regret hit him. Meredith was right. Once again, Sable wasn't there when it mattered. He never was.

Not for Zael. Not for Dorian. Not for Chasmine. And certainly not for Meredith. He knew exactly how she felt because he felt the same: worthless.

"I'm...sorry. Just go." All the fire in Sable's voice was gone, replaced by cool quiet.

Sable turned on his heel and began to trudge back. His eyes would meet Henk's for only a moment, but the pain and resignation in Sable's would be visible.

"It doesn't matter, Henk. Nothing ever did." He replied to him. Henk deserved a deeper response. He deserved all the prose Sable had learned from his books. At least he deserved some of the fervor Sable had when he'd approached, but...Sable just couldn't bring himself to say what needed to be said.

Shoulders slack and head hung, Sable walked away.