LFG Beware The Wrath Of Dragons~

[Gallar Ahamkara]

"Your end is written in fire and ashes~" - Gallar​

Evening everyone, i figured i should throw up a plotter for my new character Gallar. She is my 8ft Warlord Dragonkin with a passion for war and fire, classic elder dragon who can potentially sleep for days, can never eat her fill and has an unhealthy obsession with gold and treasure. Her bio can be found here for those of you wanting to read up on her. But yeah, i am down for friendships, rivalries, enemies, quest, and ect. Feel free to hit me up on discord or on this thread ^^

 

[Vigil]

Hmmm. Naming oneself after a "Wish Dragon" and seeing as how she is Dragonkin, I would like to have a thread at some point with Vigil and Gallar.

I will abstain from a vote so far until the biography portion is somewhat filled in though.

 

[Gallar Ahamkara]

Hmmm. Naming oneself after a "Wish Dragon" and seeing as how she is Dragonkin, I would like to have a thread at some point with Vigil and Gallar.

I will abstain from a vote so far until the biography portion is somewhat filled in though.

Bruh, low key i was writing it and half way through i was like 'i want a burrito' and it all went downhill from there.

 

[Hath Charosh]

A curved beak gilded, glimmering in its satiating garnishments of mannerly offence, acerbic syllables sure to scorch (the salt in a weeping wound) and appall, though bandage with liquid honey. There is a predatory charisma which exudes from every encrusted aperture; a miasmic allure, a tyrannous magnetism which alike moth to flame, only fascinates to burn.

I haven't a clue what this means

It's all very flowery and a few plainly written paragraphs to summarise the character would go a long way towards making the page more informative for people would quickly want to know more about the character.

What are the downsides of the character? What are her weaknesses?

How does the magical reflection attack work within the laws of magic if she doubles the power of every return? Does this drain her quickly?

Did you draw the image by the way? Really nice work if so!

 

[Gallar Ahamkara]

I haven't a clue what this means

It's all very flowery and a few plainly written paragraphs to summarise the character would go a long way towards making the page more informative for people would quickly want to know more about the character.

What are the downsides of the character? What are her weaknesses?

How does the magical reflection attack work within the laws of magic if she doubles the power of every return? Does this drain her quickly?

Did you draw the image by the way? Really nice work if so!

This is really more of a LFG thread my dude, for stuff about her actual bio i'd suggest DMing me or something to keep this thread free of clutter. But thanks for the advice~

 

[Vigil]

A curved beak gilded, glimmering in its satiating garnishments of mannerly offence, acerbic syllables sure to scorch (the salt in a weeping wound) and appall, though bandage with liquid honey.
This is a covering that is "honey" or golden/bronze in color, covered in symbols that have some kind of runic, or magical effect, or just because it means something to the wearer. "Scorch" meaning its darkened, or blackened akin to the Gold/bronze cloth that is used as a "bandage" on the wearer.

There is a predatory charisma which exudes from every encrusted aperture; a miasmic allure, a tyrannous magnetism which alike moth to flame, only fascinates to burn.
Predatory or "Dominating" presence that is shown from every Aperture or "Hole/opening" in the clothing. A feeling of wonder, or needing to look upon the person with such a "magnetism" or powerful effect. symbolized with "Moth to flame" even if the sight harms, or could cause harm to the user.

Bruh, low key i was writing it and half way through i was like 'i want a burrito' and it all went downhill from there.

I know that feeling man. lol I might PM you in a bit.

 

[Gallar Ahamkara]

A curved beak gilded, glimmering in its satiating garnishments of mannerly offence, acerbic syllables sure to scorch (the salt in a weeping wound) and appall, though bandage with liquid honey.
This is a covering that is "honey" or golden/bronze in color, covered in symbols that have some kind of runic, or magical effect, or just because it means something to the wearer. "Scorch" meaning its darkened, or blackened akin to the Gold/bronze cloth that is used as a "bandage" on the wearer.

There is a predatory charisma which exudes from every encrusted aperture; a miasmic allure, a tyrannous magnetism which alike moth to flame, only fascinates to burn.
Predatory or "Dominating" presence that is shown from every Aperture or "Hole/opening" in the clothing. A feeling of wonder, or needing to look upon the person with such a "magnetism" or powerful effect. symbolized with "Moth to flame" even if the sight harms, or could cause harm to the user.

I know that feeling man. lol I might PM you in a bit.

Well look at that, my mans read between the lines and broke it down. GG my dude, i keep forgetting how overwhelming my writing style is on most sites i go on i forget to tone it down, especially for bios i write which really should be simplified lol.

And ikr? I got my burrito, started watching netflix and like ten minutes later i was like 'why am i even alive rn?'

 

[Kjaran Mak Aodha]

Welcome to the site Gallar Ahamkara .

I'd agree with the above point about the language being quite flowery for a biography. It was the first thing that struck me when reading the bio. If you're in a Chronicle and someone is clicking in quick to double check something before they post to you; they're not going to haul out the dictionary to hunt for words like "eidolon" , "penumbra", or "erymanthian".

I'd recommend making her a bit more rounded. No character is perfect and their flaws or weaknesses are usually what make them interesting. So far I can see she does have that obsession with gold but not much else. Even Achilles had a weakness.

As for the bio and lore, you'll have plenty of time to flesh that out on the site. I hope you enjoy your time here and be sure to check out the threads with LFG and the open threads marked with a "Chronicle" prefix.

 

[Gallar Ahamkara]

Welcome to the site Gallar Ahamkara .

I'd agree with the above point about the language being quite flowery for a biography. It was the first thing that struck me when reading the bio. If you're in a Chronicle and someone is clicking in quick to double check something before they post to you; they're not going to haul out the dictionary to hunt for words like "eidolon" , "penumbra", or "erymanthian".

I'd recommend making her a bit more rounded. No character is perfect and their flaws or weaknesses are usually what make them interesting. So far I can see she does have that obsession with gold but not much else. Even Achilles had a weakness.

As for the bio and lore, you'll have plenty of time to flesh that out on the site. I hope you enjoy your time here and be sure to check out the threads with LFG and the open threads marked with a "Chronicle" prefix.

I'll say it again. This is a LFG for plotting not a character critique. The points above have been noted and are on my to-do list. So please, avoid cluttering this thread please.

 

[Kjaran Mak Aodha]

Gallar Ahamkara the first thing visible on this thread is

"What Do You Think Of Gally?"

I would suggest removing that then if you don't wish people to answer the question or "clutter" the thread.

 

[Gallar Ahamkara]

My dude, see those bullet points above with the option to fill in the bubbles?

Pick one.

Additionally while i don't mind critique, i would be more accepting of it if it at least came with a 'aside from these issues i'd love to throw x character at her~'. Ya know?

 

[Salogan]

What Kjaran and Hath have brought up don't really fall into your bullet point list. And I think they are actually just trying to help (it's pretty helpful they took the time to highlight a specific insert and indicate what their issues were).

Either way, I'd be interested to see a fleshed out species for dragonkin. I took quite the dive through the species and there are many impressive entries, I'm sure yours would be one of them as well.

My guy is mostly stuck in the area surrounding Alliria, not sure how your 8 ft lass would do navigating the narrow streets. But considering that Sal has a good deal of experience with looting gold and riches, they might share in that interest, though differ in their perceived route towards obtaining it (he's into the life taking business now). But as Vigil stated, I'd also enjoy reading a biography for Gal.

 

[Gallar Ahamkara]

What Kjaran and Hath have brought up don't really fall into your bullet point list. And I think they are actually just trying to help (it's pretty helpful they took the time to highlight a specific insert and indicate what their issues were).

Either way, I'd be interested to see a fleshed out species for dragonkin. I took quite the dive through the species and there are many impressive entries, I'm sure yours would be one of them as well.

My guy is mostly stuck in the area surrounding Alliria, not sure how your 8 ft lass would do navigating the narrow streets. But considering that Sal has a good deal of experience with looting gold and riches, they might share in that interest, though differ in their perceived route towards obtaining it (he's into the life taking business now). But as Vigil stated, I'd also enjoy reading a biography for Gal.

Like i said my dude i don't mind them trying to help but this IS a LFG thread. Its meant for plotting and such. In my experience when a thread gets off track and begins discussions such as character criticism it just derails the entire thread which i was trying to avoid. I would of been more accepting of it if they at least threw some characters at me like 'yo, she looks cool so far but you should add this and do this! Aside from that here is my boy Mercenary Guy, they should hit up a tavern and party!'

Then i would of been like 'aight we out here lets do it, and i'll work on that soon.' But clearly that was not the case lol. If the concerns were that big my mans could of at least sent me a DM or something ya know? I dunno, maybe i'm just fried.

Anywho, I actually already have stuff for her race written and ready to go. But i was told i should RP it and flesh it out IC before making a wiki so i was just waiting a bit to get her situated. But i'd be down for meeting your buff boi, did you have anything specific in mind for a meeting? Salogan

 

[Pern]

If she's ever in Elbion and has need for a Blacksmith, Pern is happy to oblige.