Fable - Ask An Offer They Can't Refuse

[Jazat Mar]

Jazat, as a rule, didn't dislike anyone really because he never saw anything he did as being personal on any real level. It wasn't personal when he killed someone as a mercenary because he was just doing a job; it was personal for whoever had hired him to do the killing, sure, but what did that have to do with him eh? They weren't paying him to get personally invested in a situation, they paid him to end a situation. No one ever thought that the knife that cut through someone's heart had issues with the heart.

But this time it was a little different since he was his own boss.

He was waiting in the Reach of Allir for two people he had never met but who had been in touch with him via an intermediary. They knew they were going to be part of a heist and that they could gain money and enchanted items from the job going well. He knew that one of them was an Orc Mercenary (a profession and a people he had a lot of familiarity with) and one of them was a bodyguard maid.

Yeah he was still waiting for the punchline to that last one because he was still 90% certain that it was a joke.

Waiting on a hilltop waiting for them at dusk... sounded like the beginning of a romance novel. Which was probably why it already felt like the perfect recipe for something to go wrong.

Ipatiy Kozlov Gurash Gloomrunner

 

[Ipatiy Kozlov]

Today was a big job, one that would require her to be 100% thief, a job she usually avoided but the payout was just to good to pass up. Besdies it was all the way out at the Reach of Allir, far away from her usual workings grounds. It was doubtful any word about her involvement in such a raid if things went south would make it back home, more so with her change in attire.

Gone was her usual maid attire, replaced with a form fitting dark purple and black suit with long gloves and a hood to hide her face if need be. Strapped to her belt being several small pouches filled with varying items to aid in the upcoming job. A scabbard rested among them, holstering a short sword along with a few more smaller throwing knifes tucked around her wrists.

Breaching through the bushes her eyes laid upon the employer for this escapade, herself giving a small nod to the man. "I suppose it is safe to assume this is the meeting point"? A quick look around showed she was the first to arrive, which to be honest made sense considering who the other member of this 'crew' was. Orc's weren't really considered to be fast.

Jazat Mar

 

[Gurash Gloomrunner]

Gurash arrived on the hilltop some few minutes after the human. It was quite a feat that he hadn't taken longer. He knew the Allir Reach well, and knew of an out of the way tavern where traders would stop while making their way across the Reach. A few pints, and some turmed down offers to guard caravans later, and he waa on his way to the meeting place.

The warrior came in his standard heavy, tribal armor with one gigantic spiked shoulder plate and the other shoulder (as well as half of his body) completely uncovered. And carrying his usual array of additional armaments. His massive, single sided axe was strapped to his back beside his greatsword. From his skull emblazoned warbelt hung four other blades. They were wide cleaver style swords that would be more like short swords to the tall, muscular mercenary. But they would have been heavy weapons for the average human or elf. Conveniently, these swords doubled as additional leg armor while sheathed. Additionally, a spiked mace, and a smaller (for Gurash) hand axe hung from his belt as well. A human sized short sword was tucked in to his right boot to function as a bootknife for the oversized fighter.

The green tone of his skin was much obscured however, as he was wearing a tribal hunter's warpaint. In the not too far off Uzogrish Forest of his youth, this meant a dark paste applied to the body in patterns that would show only splotches of green skin and make one blend in to the woods at night. And thanks to a VERY helpful merchant's daughter at the tavern, his back was patterned in this way as we'll as his front. Still however, his unnaturally white eyes almost seemed to glow as dusk came nearer to darkening the area.

He came from the clearing, not making any great effort to conceal his presence in the forest. And shortly before he arrived, the smell of alcohol did. Jazat's agent would have been assured by the orc himself, and his former employers if any effort was made to question them, however, that somehow this mercenary did indeed seem to function extremely effectively while drunk. As he came to the top of the hill and stood before the human and dark elf, regarding them each in turn for but a moment, he his right fist slammed into his left palm excitedly.

"So," he asked unceremoniously in a gruff, deep voice, that almost sounded like a low growl was mixed in with his words. "When are we getting to the good part?"

Ipatiy Kozlov Jazat Mar

 

[Jazat Mar]

Well he got half of what he was expecting.

He had been expecting a giant orc that looked the part of the savage warrior and he expected a thief who was a maid. The giant orc he got in all his big, green, glory but he was a little bit confused about the other one. She clearly was not a maid from what he could see. He snorted in amusement.

"They said you were a maid - should have known they were yanking my chain." he said, amused, "Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting but was is it wrong of me to have expected stockings?"

He waved once to the Orc.

"Sup big-un." he greeted the other mercenary jauntily, "We need to kick up a fuss yet. Get the Rangers out of their cosy little fort chasing ghost stories while we raid their pantry. So what we need to do is cause something too big to ignore..."

Jazat was honestly open to suggestions but he had an idea.

"There's a caravan of alchemical supplies heading on down the road - if we can stall them, one of us can rig the alchemy ingredients to blow up, giving us enough time to get to the fort. Anyone got issues with the plan or explosions?"

Some people liked their ears undamaged after all.

Ipatiy Kozlov Gurash Gloomrunner

 

[Ipatiy Kozlov]

The Orc was, well, an Orc, she hadn't meant many before but this Gurash person fit the stereotype to a T. It was hard to know if he was dressing up for the job and putting on a show or if the spiked armor was just everyday appeal. Regardless if they needed any buildings brought down to the ground or a large distraction he'd do quite nicely.

Her observation of their living battering ram was halted when Jazat greeted them both, his comment on her attire casing a little confusion. "... I am a maid", the response was blunt, "what did you expect me to come wearing my usual white a frilly blouse and skirt"? Wait? could she get more money for wearing it? "Would doing so and putting on stockings thus showing you my thighs be incentive for a slightly larger cut"?

Money was money and Ipaty wasn't all that concerned on how she obtained it. As for the plan it was simple enough, though she felt it could do with a little more. "If we are going to use explosives we can also use them in the distraction". "Though our friend here is quite large he is only one person, that may not be enough to draw away the garrisons attention".

In regards to the merchant she wanted a little more information, "are they alone? do they have an escort? Stalling them for too long may arouse suspicion, perhaps an accident happens and were are their to help... maybe my maid uniform could work better in this regard".

She had come more planned for a classic break in and grab operation, but maybe some infiltration was in order.

Jazat Mar Gurash Gloomrunner

 

[Gurash Gloomrunner]

Gurash waved back, but merely grunted in response to the greeting. He would have said words. But he opened his mouth and a grunt came out. As well as the smell of alcohol. And garlic.

But the orc wasn't just drunk, he was also in the state of forest mind. Less thinking. Less time being wasted. More bite. Bite in the words. Bite in the actions. Bite in the spirit. Forest mind. The ancestors had seen fit to bless him with it this evening.

The dark elf laid it all out and the human woman said her piece, or part of it, before the young, drunk orc couldn't help interjecting. "I might be willing to part with some of my cut in exchange for a private show like that. You know, if they're nice thighs..."

Between the unnatural whiteness of his eyes, the warpaint on his face, and even yet bestial tone with which he spoke, it would be incredibly difficult to tell if he was serious or simply making a mercenary's jest. Even non-orcish mercs tended towards the crude and vulgar when it came to humor.

And then she started with all kinds of logistics, and ideas, and strategic inquiries. And after that he spoke again.

"You know something? As many ale kegs of fun as it would be to butcher the entirety of the rangers stationed in this place, I think I'd have more fun getting to the gold before or at the same time as Little Miss Loot-hungry, over here. So I vote for for the big boom kind of distraction, myself.

"I'm pretty sure the caravan will have an escort, though. No one survives on these trade routes without a hired sword or some kind of protective enchantment. Merchants get smart to that kinda thing. The ones who live and succeed, anyway. They know. The highwaymen don't notice them, there are plenty enough local predators to worry about."

Ipatiy Kozlov Jazat Mar

 

[Jazat Mar]

... so it wasn't a joke and one of them was literally a bloody maid? This better not turn into some 'comedy of errors' type production because they had a comedy set-piece character in their merry little band. He titled his head to one side slightly.

"When I was told you were a thief maid... yeah... actually yeah, I honestly thought you might come wearing it." he admitted with a small shrug before looking her up and down, listening to Gurash' comment before pointing to the Orc, "Man has a point. Would need to see if the thighs are worth paying for first."

Mostly joking.

Big boom distraction it seemed had their vote - he could appreciate that.

"Yeah they've got some hired help in the form of some mercs - no one I know well enough to warn so I don't give a fuck if they die." he explained, agreeing with the Orc mercenary, "Enchantments are usually too expensive but not out of the question - I've got mage training so I'll be the one to actually prep the ingredients to explode as to how to get them to stall..."

He grinned.

"Maid - wear the outfit. Gurash - think you can chase a scantily-clad maid woman into the open road and make it look convincingly like you want to get your rocks off?" he grinned wider, "That's the distraction that stalls them - they chase you off Gurash and Ipatiy can thank them before moving on. You do that and I'll have enough time to prep the explosion from behind. Sound good?"

It sounded fun to him.

Ipatiy Kozlov Gurash Gloomrunner

 

[Ipatiy Kozlov]

Even if the words had been a half jest the look on Ipatiys face that that of quite series deliberation. It wasn't as if it would be the first time, a many past employers she served were a little lecherous and the prospect of some easy money for a simple show wan't that bad a deal.

"I accept your proposal and I can say with confidence that my body is in peak physical shape", it had to be in order to pull double duty as a thief and actual maid. "I will need a minute to summon an appropriate outfit for said occasion and this coming job". Being a user of economancy meant easy access to weapons, clothing and other items on the fly, as long as one pays the right price. It was one of the varying reasons, aside form her gold lust, that Ipatiy was always out for more money.

As the two continued to talk about the possible escorts she reached into one of her pockets, fishing about for a few coins while mentally calculating the varying costs. Local fabric, commission time, transportation and all that other stuff that went into using her branch of magic. Before she could carry out the action it would seem their employer got quite the brand idea.

"Hmm, I will need to pull out my helpless damsel act don't think I've done that in a while, could be fun... perhaps they will give me something as well", another way to earn a few goodies. "I will be right back, need to change". Slipping back into the bushes Ipaty started her summoning, placing out the gold coins as a temporal like whirlpool sucked it away, in it's place a rather 'revealing' maid outfit materialized.

With time on the line she didn't waste any meaninglessly, quickly swapping outfits, hiding her old one and re-emerging from the nearby shrub now donned in the requested maid attire. A small twirl was done to give her employers a full 360 view before giving a small contemporary bow. "Ipaty Kozlov at your service sir, tis to your liking"?

Jazat Mar
Gurash Gloomrunner