Fable - Ask A Rock and a Hard Place

[Jace]

"I knew we should have gone with cake."

Jace stared wide-eyed with the rest of the group as Wren exploded in an icy shower over the presentation of the dress. He didn't know what deco- whatever was but he mentally added it to the list of things never to say to a woman. It was a very long list. So long that he had in fact begun to write it down in the awkward handwriting of someone who had only snatched a lesson here or there for letters. Petyr had tried once or twice but he was more interested in teaching the lad other, more practical things. Either way it seemed paramount to use his lacking

Nobody spoke and the silence stretched on like a widening maw. Well, he was no coward. Clearing his throat a little he turned his attention to the motherly faun.

"S'not just us canvassin' the join' - I saw several of Sissy's lo' loi'erin' 'round the marke'," he very studiously sipped his tea. "I'd say we're gonna 'ave to move quick before someone else tries it."

 

[Artemis]

Once everyone had their tea, Artemis retreated silently, moving like a shadow between the shadows and shouts in the room back to her perch on the edge of a small table by the window. An eye out to watch their backs and an eye in to watch the room as the warm tea curled down her throat. The boys always seemed to focus on Wren and give her a hard time, though, she imagined more than half the time they had good intentions.

Well, maybe not half, especially when it came to Varo.

The assassin was certainly wise enough not to get in the middle of it.

A gentle clear of her throat as she lowered the cup of tea.

"Patrols change every two hours outside. Inside every three. Mostly guardsmen. There's a magical barrier on the uppermost windows."

A glance to Itch.

"Sewers might be the best way in."

Folk rarely thought about protecting from beneath.

 

[William de Courcey]

Blissfully unaware that the others were awaiting Wren's reaction with bated breath, William presented the dress with Jace. The explosion wasn't long coming.

Wren's voice was dangerously calm. The way the sea could be before a storm. He started to have misgivings as she corrected him in that same strange still voice. He didn't even see the blade coming. There was a sudden flash and then it was sticking out of the table, having gone right through the dress.

William's mouth open and shut. He didn't know what to say, especially with Wren's glare still on them. He wilted, wishing the floorboards would just open up and swallow him.

"Sorry" he managed to squeak, wisely retreating to the wall, not turning his back on her for a moment.

 

[Irari]

“Wren.”

With everyone’s focus on the impaled dress in the middle of the room, Irari had slipped from her perch and materialised next to the statue of ire that might’ve been a woman once. The faun laid a hand on her elbow – because she couldn’t reach the shoulder – and calmly waited for the enforcer to meet her gaze.

For all her unassuming stature and size, Irari had a way of leveraging presence that belied both.

With the matter settled, she turned her dark eyes to the rest of the band. It was time.

“For the reasons given in evidence, we need to move quickly. Preferably tomorrow night.” Sissy’s hounds sniffing around the bank, the impeding meeting with the Merchant Council, and their own looming debts. This was no time to dally and put in place plans B through Z.

When things went wrong, they would adapt on the fly, as they always did.

“Varo, you will take up the part of a distant relative to a noble family from Oban that recently died out. In perusing your newfound inheritance, you stumbled upon an ancient deed from the bank,” she gestured to the document in question, aging next to the fireplace as they spoke, “and thus came to see what they had left for you in their lockbox. It refers to their previous archival system, but the deed is dated enough that it would track. Once you’re inside, take note of any security measures and find out where the chest is being held.”

The last thing they wanted to do was burst out of the wrong sewer pipe. “Wren will accompany you as your bodyguard.” In another life, her role might’ve been that of a wife, but Irari didn’t quite feel like dying of a stab wound.

“Jace and Itch are going through the sewers in the afternoon, immediately after Old Thalir closes for business hours. There will still be clerks filing paperwork for an hour so on the upper levels, so the magical and regular measures won’t all be in place yet. Time yourselves to the patrol change immediately after the fifth bell, when the bank closes – perhaps your small friends could help in this regard, Itch? The guards should be more relaxed in daylight, and there should still be enough noise on the streets above to obscure your work.”

Nodding once to the youngest pair of the group, she turned her gaze on the two shadows. “William, Artemis, your job will be in the evening, and you’ll have to be the most careful.” A faint furrow appeared between her brows. This was the riskiest part of the plot, but it would pay dividends it they pulled it off well. “Make the heist obvious then. Pilfer other items besides the deeds as well – there should be plenty of jewelry in the lockboxes in the lower vaults. Most importantly, make like Remi’s and Sissy’s men. Leave a few sloppy traces pointing to their dens and plant the stolen effects there after you get out of Thalir.”

Her thin lips twitched into a fine smile. “And I’ll make sure the watch knows where to look in the morning.”

 

[Varo]

Varo listened to the plan carefully.

Much of his life had been spent in ignorance, not quite knowing everything and never bothering to actually find out. He was a noble, a man of means and wealth. Back home most people had simply given him what he'd wanted.

After his...incident that had all changed of course. When he'd run way from home and sought out his own path things had changed more than he'd ever thought.

In that time he had learned lessons, and one of those lessons was to listen.

Sure it was not always his first instinct, but with Irari at least he knew when it was time to shut up and pay attention. As she mentioned his part in the plan he looked over at Wren, smirking for just a few seconds before he pointedly glanced back towards Irari. "That works."

He said.

"Though I don't think we should be forthcoming." That sort of information shouldn't be volunteered. "Keep them guessing unless they ask."

For all they knew Wren could be his bodyguard, lover, whatever the fuck.

 

[Wren Kingsley]

Wren fell quiet for a moment, much owed to Irari's calm intervention. The men could be fucking idiots, and two of them had already started off her day terribly. As William apologised and backed off however, there was a wave of guilt and she let out a quiet huff.. "Fucking hell." she murmured quietly to herself.

She listened to each person as they spoke as the plan was quickly formed, her eyes shifting from speaker to speaker. Irari's plan earned a nod of approval, but she shot Varo a look of mild irritation at his smirking. "Oh you don't think it'd be believable for me to be your bodyguard?" she snorted. "Rather I put on the pretty blue dress and smile and be a good wife?.." her eyes rolled.

Her attention returned to Irari without awaiting a retort. "I left two of Sissy's men in the alley behind the market square. Started the rumour that Remi's boys were off their territory smashing kneecaps." she winced a little. "Should keep them busy for a bit. They'll be a bit out of pocket too." she snorted and her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug as she sipped at her tea..

"I have a few things to do today, then we can iron out the plans.." she arched a brow with a glance to Varo.

 

[Varo]

Varo looked offended. "You can pass as anything you want."

There was a flicker of annoyance across his features, as though he didn't quite appreciate the fact that she would make an assumption like that.

Wren was terrifying in her own way, but that didn't meant that she had a right bully people. Especially him. Though in all fairness he had seen her naked. Lips thinned for a moment as he chewed his inner lip, and then he spoke up again. "It's best they assume rather than know."

He bit off.

"If they think you're my wife then they won't think you're dangerous. If they think you're my bodyguard then they won't expect you to bat your lashes and distract a Guard while I swipe something. If they think you're a random whore then they won't look when you grab a key off a guards waist." Varo wasn't the smartest of the crew, there were a lot of things he missed out on, but this he knew. "It's about giving ourselves options."

The young man said grumpily. "Not putting you in a pretty blue dress."

Then quietly he added. "Even though you'd look damn beautiful in it."

 

[William de Courcey]

Irari intervened before she could be an eyewitness to several murders. Any worries about his potential fate were washed away with the proposed plan. His eyes widened as Irari explained, they were going to make a move much sooner than he had expected. They weren't going to waste time with contingencies either, it was all or nothing on this throw of the dice.

He winced at Varo and Wren's role, that would be an interesting discussion. His own role caused him to blink in confusion "Why are we making it obvious?" he blurted out, this wasn't making any sense at all at all. Irari went on though, elaborating as to the why. They'd be able to nab what they wanted but they had to be sloppy. "What sort of traces should we leave?"

He groaned at the information that they'd be forced to give up most of what they'd rightfully stolen. It made sense but still...he wasn't sure how he'd give up jewellery he had in hand. "So we need to get past the guards in the bank and then make sure Remi or Sissy's thugs don't catch us. Piece of cake" he declared, his voice sounding more confident than he felt. He wasn't sure whether himself and Artemis should feel complimented or singled out for getting the tough job.

 

[Jace]

Jace shot Itch a grin as they were dubbed partners in crime for the day. The two had done more than their share of missions together in the past both with this group and before, when it had been Petyr calling the shots. He knew his rhythm well and, unlike a few of the others, the rats didn't bother him one bit. He even had his own favourites - not that he would dare ever tell Itch in case she told the rats. He didn't fancy waking up to a small army eating his face off. He just had one, small question...

"Wha' exactly... are we doin' once we ge' in there?" he scratched his head thoughtfully and glanced back to the faun. "If Wills an' Arty are doin' the actual thievin' are we just a distraction? Or d'yer wan' us to be lookin' around too?"

Not that Jace particularly minded getting the easy job but if this was going to get them closer to figuring out what happened with Petyr then he wanted to do more than just open the doors for the more experienced criminals. He wanted to prove himself. He wanted to... well he wanted to make Petyr proud.

 

[Itch]

Itch chose to concentrate on her tea, a tight-lipped smile was exchanged with Artemis as the assassin handed her the cup, it was a smile that said, 'one day Wren will murder one of these boys and it will entirely be their fault'.

It was a very specific smile.

She let the steam warm her face as the heat of the cup embraced the girl's gloves, granting a soothing warmth into the filth of her hands. Her face twitched at the sound of sudden blade on table violence but Itch instead chose to stare into her cup of huckleberry-vanilla tea.

“Mmm, yes,” she agreed absent-mindedly with a sniff, eyes still lost in her brew, “sewers are always the best way in...”

The scabby vagrant finally looked up, cracking a wide grin as she looked back to Artemis.

“...unless there's an open door, that is.”

As predicted, Irari reigned in the madness and rattled through a well-thought-out plan. Itch briefly considered where they would be without the faun and then realised that all the boys would have most definitely been dead, or maybe just maimed. Yeah, probably just maimed. It would be a real boon for the local prosthetic industry, though.

Claude squeaked happily as Itch returned Jace's grin with authority. He was the best candidate to muck through the filth with her, after all, they'd had enough misadventures together to write a small book full of amusing anecdotes about them. Although sometimes she worried about...

“Frieda will be overjoyed to see you again,” she commented wryly into the rim of her tea before taking a small sip, “I'm starting to think that she's carrying a torch for you, Jace.”

Yes, Frieda was a rat.

 

[Artemis]

Artemis looked at William de Courcey, sizing up her fellow sleuther. Looking for cracks and chinks that might hinder their job. A silent assessment of a predator sizing up its prey.

Eyes slide back to Irari.

"This is...acceptable," she rumbled in a near purr.

Though her expression didn't show it, she probably enjoyed the exchange between Itch and Jace the most.

 

[Wren Kingsley]

Wren watched Varo as he mansplained to her, her emerald gaze narrowed, dangerous as ever, waiting for him to slip up like a snake under a rock. Her retort had been on the very tip of her tongue when he'd added his latter muttering, and she locked the words behind her teeth and swallowed them down, a bitter shot chased by shock.

Her skin warmed, more ashamed of her own speechlessness. She couldn't remember how to respond to compliments. Once upon a time in her pretty dresses she'd have rolled her eyes and snort at them rather than politely accept and curtsy gratefully, much to her parents' chagrin. Her eyes darted from face to face around the room before she stood, clearing her throat as she reached to pluck her blade from the splintered table and sheath it.

"Mh.." she nodded in apparent agreement to whatever the fuck they'd been talking about. "I'll be back in an hour or two." she murmured, and turned to limp from the house, fingers idly tapping on her coin purses.

 

[Varo]

It was time for the plan.

Varo had forgotten most of the plan, well, all of it that didn't pertain to his part of the job, but he was ready to fucking go. The suit he had picked out was one of the most stylish things he'd ever worn, his beard had been carefully trimmed, and his hair had been slicked back.

He looked good. No. He looked better than good. He looked like a man who owned half of Alliria and Oban to go along with it. His back was straight, his eyes were set forward, and he walked through the city streets with enough swagger than people stepped to the side as soon as they caught sight of him.

Wren was at his side of course.

She was an integral part of his part of the plan, something he remembered. There was no doubt that the others were in their place, or were getting ready to go there.

The plan was a good one, from what he remembered.

What he didn't remember of course were the exact details. He and Wren would go in first, find the location of the deeds, and then quickly report back to the others using a magic scroll that he and Jace had stolen a few weeks ago.

Jace and Itch meanwhile of course would make their way through the sewers, and from there before the Bank set it's ward into place would use another scroll to actually make it into the bank. Once that happened William and Artemis would barge into the bank and steal whatever they could, being loud and blaring as to frame their rivals.

While they did that, Jace and Itch would steal the deeds, proper sneakthiefs like.

The point was to create chaos and a trail leading away from them. It was a good plan, even though Varo himself had forgotten the half of it. "Let's go, Darlin'. We got an inheritance to get."

He offered Wren a smug smirk and stepped forward.

Wren Kingsley | Itch | Irari | Artemis | William de Courcey | Jace