Letters To Hanuman

[Visha Sofka]

To Hanumanuama, damn it this isn't

To Hanumumanuma, damn it, I got it wrong again

To Hanabanana, damn it, now I'm just hungry

To Hanu...man?

I actually have NO idea if this letter is even gonna reach you. I was telling the courier to just not be a bitch and he was all like, who are you and what are you even talking about? Anyway.

I have two important questions!

1) Where did you get the extra arms? NO REASON! Asking for a friend.

2) Can you teach me to set my hair on fire? Okay, wait, hold on, shit, let me write that better. Can you teach me to have fire for hair? Or was it a halo of fire above your hair? HOW DID YOU DO THAT??

Sinsairily yours,
Visha


PS, tell Khurash I know where he's ticklish!

Hanuman

 

[Hanuman]

(The lettering is neat, written on paper of extremely high quality.)

(The courier was the same, and he looked all too ready to be done with this correspondence.)

Visha,

The Warchief is a busy individual, and were it up to me, the contents of your letter would not have ever been brought to his attention. Alas, it is my responsibility, and he has seen it fit to respond.

He does not have answers to your questions at this time, but the courier should deliver to you a seal. Consider this an invitation.

(The courier did, in fact, hand her a small emblem. A flat piece of silver with intricate engravings. If Visha looked close enough, she would see a decapitated head.)

Should you ever find our company, presenting this will guarantee you safe passage through our camp where you may consult the Warchief.

Regards,
Idrix Vale, Quartermaster of the Dead Men

 

[Visha Sofka]

To Hanuman, or Mr. Idrix Vale? Who the f--

I have two one two better questions this time!

1) Where are all mah orcs at?

2) Where's the body? I was looking at the silver coin or whatever and I peeped at it really close and I saw the head and at first I was like, "Ha, ha, look at that dummy, he was probably talking shit with his only two arms-having self" but then I figured, wait, what if this is half and the other coin with that guy's body is the other half and I'm supposed to combine them or something. Oh wait. I got your letter right here. Says...presenting this will guarantee..... Oh shit I get it now. Disre--

Also don't tell Geladryxie I fucked that up. And don't tell Khurash either.

*2) Can I have a hint where the Dead Men are at? I checked every cemetery in Alliria and came up short. In retrospect, that was probably dumb. But what's a good guessing game without a bunch of bad answers?

Sinsairily yours,
Visha


PS, this is TO YOU, Idrix! Yeah, it is your responsibility to bring this to the Warchief's attention, BITCH! So get on it!

Hanuman