Private Tales Fallen from grace..

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane inclined her head in a sign of gratitude for her words intended to ease her guilt somewhat, but they didn't help the feeling she still held in her heart. She should have done something like she had done years later when it was one of her men who had faced the same punishment. His crime had been far worse and had warranted death but she couldn't help but still wonder whether death was kinder. Especially when she saw the scars. It made her own back ache at the memory of where the knives had cut so deep into her flesh as her captors had searched for the secrets of her wings in the hope to replicate them. They hadn't wanted to remove them, though a wrong flinch of their hand could have done so, they had merely wanted to study her like an insect.

She turned away, wings pulling tight against her back with a subtle tremble.

Instead she focused on the kettle which was now whistling away to let her know it had done its brewing. She reached into the flames and pulled it out, fire dancing over her skin playfully, before she turned and poured two cups full to the brim.

"Do you take milk or sugar?"

 

[Lailah]

Lailah watched the woman remove the kettle from the flames as though they were lukewarm and her brows rose with intrigue.. "Oh.. Yes please." she smiled softly and held her palms out to be warmed by the flames, their flickering light reflecting in her stormy eyes..

"They don't hurt you at all?.." she asked as she dragged her gaze from the hearth to look up at her.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

"Nope," Caliane lifted one shoulder and wing in a shrug and let them both drop as she handed over the cup and then sat down on a footstool with her own. She blew onto the steam more out of habit than necessity. "Fire doesn't bother me at all, it just kind of..." she scrunched up her nose like a bunny might. "Tickles? I guess it the best way I can think to describe it. I would notice if I was on fire for example, but it doesn't leave behind any marks. My clothes on the other hand..."

The redhead turned a subtle shade of pink across the tops of her cheeks and bridge of her nose.

"It's the cold and ice that hurt. I can't get it out of my bones and it can make me quite ill."

 

[Lailah]

Lailah took the tea gratefully and blew the hot steam away before taking a few careful sips as she listened to Cali explain. She couldn't help but think of the fire that she'd watched tear through the bordello, and how much better the outcome might have been if she had been there. A woman who could walk through flames.

She offered a small smile over her cup and gave a single nod.. "Hm, I can never seem to get the cold out of my bones either.." her shoulder shrugged and she sighed, staring down into her tea. It was impossible not to think of home whilst in Caliane's company, and it'd been something she'd avoided thinking of at all over the past few years. She didn't want to ask, but it was like an itch that she had to scratch..

"When you say it's different now.. What do you mean?.." she arched a brow but avoided the woman's gaze.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane paused mid sip. Lailah's question had caught her off guard considering how well talk of home had gone earlier. It also made her pause because it was a difficult question to answer though she supposed it was probably easier to answer to another Avariel rather than an Outsider like she had attempted to do with Erën. After a moment she took another sip of her tea and begun.

"They're not so inward looking now," her words were slow and careful. "Since..." a dark look crossed her face for a fleeting moment and her wings drew a little tighter against her back. "Since I left Thyasari I've been trying to show them how far we've fallen by closing ourselves off. How our rules are out of date, archaic. That we're being left behind whilst the world advances in so many ways...!" real passion filled her voice as she spoke. For a moment she stared into her cup and then a shy smile lifted the corners of her lips.

"Of course, I know it's not perfect here but... but they've conceded that there is a need to change. They're planning on reopening the doors."

 

[Lailah]

Lailah stared at her with a slow, subconscious nod. She could hear how strongly she felt just by the tone of her voice and she believed she meant it. It was true, especially to her, that their way of life was outdated, but she had no intention on ever setting foot back in her home city even if they allowed it. It wasn't like she could get there so easily anymore either. Her grey eyes were glassy with tears but she pulled in a breath and blinked them away.

"Good.. I'm happy for you. You're a good person, Cali. I was too quick to judge." she frowned, clenching her jaw as she thought of her own parents. She wouldn't ask about them. She didn't care.

"I'll.. wait another little while, and I'll get going. I can't be gone too long." she sighed and drank a little more tea.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Cali tucked a strand of red hair behind her pointed ear with a timid smile. She had heard the compliment a multitude of times but she had not grown arrogant from hearing them. Each time it caused a warm feeling to brew in her heart and add strength to her convictions that sometimes the people who claimed they didn't need help, needed kindness the most.

"It's entirely up to you," her shoulders lifted in a shrug and she took another sip of her tea. "I can put your name on the door too, if you need to come back they'll just let you through," for a moment she ran her thumb along the rim of her cup, debating the words in her head. Eventually she looked up.

"Lailah are you... are you in trouble?"

 

[Lailah]

Lailah's lips pressed thinly at her offer and she gave her a mute nod. She never knew if or when she might need the sanctuary again, still the thought that she would be dragging trouble to yet another door terrified her. Regardless of how many times she was told that the Bordello hadn't been her fault, it quite simply had.

She was mid sip as Cali posed her question and her eyes rose to meet her gaze. She had an overwhelming urge just to burst out laughing at how utterly fucked her life was, but if she started she might never stop, and just keel over and die in a fit of manic hysterics. "How long do you have?.." She cleared her throat and clenched her jaw instead as she gave a firm nod and dropped her gaze back down into her tea. She had no reason to lie to the woman, she'd already been exiled, she no longer fell under her people's responsibility and laws...what more could they do to her?

"After I was thrown out, I came here. I had nothing, I was starving and I slept on the street for a week or two..maybe longer." her head shook with a frown. "I was wandering one night and a fight broke out between two rival groups, I got involved." she ran her fingers into her hair with a huff. "I calmed them and broke it up, and I took away the pain of those that'd been hurt. I was taken in, shown gratitude, given a room with a warm bath and bed and all the food I could eat.. but I was kept on a tight leash. I was so fucking naive, I told them everything that I could do, they started using me to cause people pain for information. Alvaro, 'La Puta Madre'.." Lailah's eyes rolled. "I didn't realise how dangerous he was, but he liked having me around, and I soon realised that I wasn't really a guest at all. So I learned to play the game." Lailah told her shamefully.. "Made him believe that I wanted to be his, that I was his.. When I'd built up enough trust, I stole some money and paid for my passage out of here. The next week I turned up at the docks, and the ship was gone. I tried to run." she laughed and rubbed at her face.

"I was given a chance to make back the lost coin that I stole.." Lailah continued with a sigh. "I convinced some of the men to put their money down on a fight. It should have been a sure thing, but the idiot threw the fight." she smirked affectionately and shook her head.. "Then things just got worse, Van, the human who threw the fight, helped me out and took me back to the bordello." she glanced up to make sure the term wasn't being met with any sort of judgement. "Just to lay low." she added with a nod.

"They were like his family, the girls, and they made me feel the same. Alvaro's men soon came looking, said they'd burn the place and everyone in it if I didn't go back. Still they hid me, but I couldn't stay. I went back, and a week later they burned it down anyway. I was dragged along for the show, they dragged the girls from their beds and killed them in front of me. I stopped one of them.." she paused and flinched a little at the memory. "I killed him.. They beat me so badly for it that I couldn't get out of bed for weeks." she swallowed and wiped at the tear that had spilled onto her cheek.

"I was in a really bad place, Cali.. I couldn't live with the guilt. He had a healer watch me, every time I tried to make it stop.." her head shook and she groaned in frustration. "I wasn't getting out of it so easily, she healed me, forced me to eat, anything I tried was hopeless... So I started to gain his trust again, I got myself back on my feet, started working.. climbed back into bed with him and thanked him for letting me see the error of my ways." her head shook slowly, holding down a wave of nauseous guilt that came with sleeping with the man who'd done such horrible things.

"All I could think about was getting to Van, I knew where he lived, he was the only person that I could trust. I didn't think he'd want to set eyes on me ever again.." she sighed. "So one night after I'd soothed Alvaro to sleep I ran him through with his own sword and I ran.. So, yes. I'm in trouble." she concluded and drank down the rest of her tea.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane felt the blood drain out of her face as the story went on. Every time it seemed to reach its peak Lailah divulged some other, more sinister thing that had happened to her in the wretched tale of her life since leaving Thyasari. This man, this Van, Cali found herself loathing with all her heart. If the other avariel hadn't of finished him off she wasn't entirely sure she wouldn't attempt to go and do it herself right this very moment. Once she had finished speaking, the redhead could do nothing but sit there for quite some time. Mostly it was shock that these things could have befallen her; she wasn't as naïve as she had been when she had first left the hidden city but it seemed there was so much more she still had to learn about the Groundings. The rest of her silence stemmed from the fact she didn't exactly know what to say. Looking into those greying blue eyes, the colour of a brewing storm, Cali was almost certain any pity would be dismissed or thrown back in her face. Anger would get her nowhere - it wasn't like she could demand Lailah's return home - and she doubted such a course of action would be met positively anyway.

"Lailah... I..." her hands fisted in her lap and then her shoulders slumped and her head bowed. She wanted to weep. "I will help in anyway you want me to," she looked up at the other woman, her deep forest green eyes clashing with the storm sky gaze across from her. "Stay here tonight, we'll get some food in you at least."

 

[Lailah]

Lailah grimaced slightly as Cali reacted. She wasn't entirely sure why she'd just spilled the story to her but she wished she could breathe it all back in and swallow it. She didn't want pity or charity. Perhaps it was a friend that she needed, but she realised that offloading like that wasn't entirely fair.

"Sorry.. I bet you wish you never asked.." Lailah laughed awkwardly and set down her empty cup. She already felt warmer and she offered a small smile as she offered yet more kindness which Lailah felt she had lapped up enough of.

"You've helped me enough Cali. I.. Perhaps, another few hours and I'll head home when it's dark. I wouldn't want to worry Van too much.." she told her and bit down on her lip to fight a smile. "I've been doing better, lately.. I just shouldn't have come this close to the city." her head shook with she sighed deeply.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane chewed on her bottom lip and fidgetted with her hands. She wanted desperately to insist she stay with her but she wasn't sure that would go down too well. After all, she wanted the girls mother even if she was a few centuries older. In Thyasari she could have pulled rank and made her but they were far, far from home.

Not that Caliane would ever feel comfortable doing such a thing even if they were home.

With a sigh she nodded, perhaps a little glumly for a brief moment, and then the smile was back.

"But you didn't say no to dinner!" She hopped to her feet before Lailah could protest. "I have food from Home... Kritel sausages, ori bacon, eagle eggs..."

 

[Lailah]

A warm smile broke her stoic expression and Lailah laughed quietly under her breath.. She had been about to insist that the avariel not go to any more trouble than she already had, tell her that she had enough food, or that she wasn’t hungry. But the offer of food from back home was too nostalgic and tempting to pass up. She bit on her lip and audibly groaned..

“Careful, you might have a regular dinner guest..” she grinned.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane laughed at the idle threat as she moved over to the little kitchen area that was jammed into the two rooms. It was definitely not built for people with wings as she clearly had a little difficulty manoeuvring round the tiny space most people would have no problem with, but she didn't complain, or mutter, or look at all as though it bothered her one bit. One might have even gone so far as to think her a happy little house wife the way she went humming about her business.

"The food is why I keep coming back to Alliria - there is so much to try!" she exclaimed, looking up with wide eyes before putting the sausages and bacon on to fry over the flame. "Chocolate is my favourite."

 

[Lailah]

Lailah missed her wings. She couldn't help but stare at Cali's and had to sit on her hands to prevent herself from trying to touch them. She'd never quite got used to being without then. She was far too light and her balance had always been a little off, but at least she could now walk without falling over.

She smirked though as she watched Cali busying about. Lailah had similarly enjoyed such domestic tasks of late. She enjoyed taking care of people, another thing they seemed to have in common.

"Chocolate is good." Lailah agreed. "I prefer lemon tarts.." she mused and pulled in a deep breath with a sigh at the smell of cooking food. "I've been living by the sea. There's only so much fish I can eat..It's why I stopped by the market." she shook her head and rubbed at her face, realising how foolish it was to put her life on the line for the sake of some bacon and sweet breads.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane paused.

"I have not heard of this lemon tart..." she stopped what she was doing and strode over to where there was a list on the wall. It was crammed with row upon row of tiny little writing. Some were crossed through with red ink but the majority was still left to be checked off. She scribbled lemon tart at the bottom with a smile then went back to cooking.

"Sometimes we need a change of scene and are willing to take it despite the cost," she sighed softly and cracked the eggs over the pan. "I know it is not the same but I feel that way when I leave Thyasari... especially after I nearly died in Bhatharik," she winced at the memory. "It would be safer to stay and just accept what I have but ..." a slight shrug.

 

[Lailah]

Lailah watched the woman scribble another item onto her list, her lips twisting in amusement that she would keep such a list at all.

She was feeling more and more relaxed in the woman's company as each minute passed, she could almost feel her tension and worry ease. Lailah was used to looking after others, and it'd been a long time since she was looked after like this. Her mind drifted to her mother, but for once it was a fond memory rather than a bitter one.

"Hm." she nodded slowly as she listened to her. Lailah didn't have the choice to stay in Thyasari, but she wondered whether she would ever have left at all if she hadn't been thrown out. "I always felt safe there.." Lailah rumbled in response and pushed herself to her feet to rummage in the basket of foods she'd picked up. Some of the items were bashed from their turbulent journey, but she lifted a small wrapped up parcel and set it on the kitchen counter with a smile at her as she opened it. Lemon tarts.

"You can cross them off of your list too.." she sighed and leaned, watching her with curiosity.. "What happened to you at Bhatharik?.." her head tilted.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane's eyes widened at the sight of the lemon tart and she almost forgot about the food she was cooking in favour of the delicious treat; she had always had a troublesome sweet tooth. With a heft amount of self discipline she managed to not pick the tart up and take a bite but instead continued with the fry up, though every now and then her eyes slid to the yellow dessert with a subtle biting of her lower lip.

The question of Bhatharik made her scrunch up her nose as she finally dished up the plates of Avariel cuisine. She handed one plate to Lailah with a knife and fork and then motioned to the tiny table out on the little balcony. It felt better to talk about her near death experience with the sun on her face.

"There was a... monster. Some people call it the Amalgamation," she tucked a piece of hair behind a pointed hear and sighed. "It was created by some sort of witch with twisted magic and it was about to destroy the city. Myself and a few others heard about it and went to try and help..." flashes of the death and carnage flittered across her mind as she put a bit of fried eagle egg into her mouth. "Nothing but fire seemed to give it pause so... the two men I fought with made an opening at the back of its neck and I kind of..." she made a motion with her hand of falling and then an explosion.

 

[Lailah]

Lailah's grey eyes widened slightly in admiration of the meal set down to her. She breathed in the enticing smells of it all with a small smile on her lips that sounded an involuntary 'mmm' as the breath escaped. She listened to Cali's recount of the battle with a frown of consternation as she ate, her gaze lifting from her meal to see the motion she made with her hand.

"I.. You.." she stuttered and paused in confusion, a piece of bacon not quite reaching her lips before she lowered it back to the plate. "How are you still alive?" her brows rose incredulously.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane rolled a shoulder and wing in an imitation of a half hearted shrug as she pushed the food around on her plate for a moment. Her gift over fire was known in Thyasari but not quite the working mechanisms of it. People knew she controlled fire not that there was a ... entity... a physical personification of the element of fire itself that lived inside of her.

"Luck, Gods," her lips lifted in a half smile. "My magic... sometimes I wonder myself which one it was. I just remember waking up on the side of a mountain with my friends with no memory of the past three weeks. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth that's for certain," she popped a forkful of food in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

 

[Lailah]

Lailah frowned at her answer and nodded and returned to eating.. "I see.. Well, sort of." her head shook. "I've never seen magic like that." she commented and swallowed before glancing up at the woman.

"You're very brave, Caliane." her lips curled. "I can't even fight my own battles never mind take on an Amag..Amalagmam.. Monster, like that." she laughed under her breath and her cheeks flushed a little rosier. "My brother taught me to shoot, but that was just for fun. I've never been much use.." her brow furrowed and she shrugged.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane smiled at the compliment but in truth she had never considered herself very brave. The simple fact was that people had needed help and it seemed... well it was incomprehensible for her to even think of not helping. The comment about her own shooting abilities however won a little laugh.

"I was a part of the Hunters back home and I can tell you there is not much difference in hunting a rabbit to hunting a person or monster or however you would like to describe them. You still need that focus, that quiet in your mind and to force everything out," her wings shuffled as a breeze blew through her feathers. "A conviction that what you are doing is a job that needs doing always helps in my mind."

 

[Lailah]

Lailah's eye glazed over and she stabbed her fork into a piece of egg and pushed it around on her plate. She'd killed three people now, and even though they were considered 'bad' people, each time she'd taken a life it seemed to peel away another piece of her soul. There was an undeniable burn of anger in the pit of her stomach as Cali spoke and she failed to bite the thoughts back.

"Like the conviction I had in my mind when I shoved a knife into that brute's neck? There was no doubt in my mind that it needed to be done. He murdered my brother in cold blood, If there's no difference between rabbits and people then why was I mutilated and cast out of my home and you still wear your wings?.." her head tilted.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane's eyes softened as Lailah spat her question. She didn't take it to heart; it was not she who had passed that judgement though she had been guilty in not speaking up. It had also been a sentence that she had had to carry out on one of her own men. Her fork toyed with her food again as she thought carefully over her words.

"Because, for some reason, we like to place the lives of our own kind above others. We like to think that we are more than animals, better than humans. The Avariel have become so ... guilty of that, I believe, in their time away from the world and we are not. We are no better, our life means no more," she took a breath. "Most people would have at least thought of doing what you did even if they will not admit it."

For a while she was quiet and then.

"It is why I help people," she raised her eyes to Lailah. "To try and... balance the books. To make up for what we have turned a blind eye to in our arrogance over the years."

 

[Lailah]

Cali's answer somehow managed to quell the rage she felt before it could build any more, but her eyes were glassy simply from speaking about it and her gaze fell to her plate once more.

"I will never not hate them for it.." she admitted in quiet bitterness. "They offered me no forgiveness nor a hand when I needed it." her head shook. "They're not my people any longer, they made that quite clear to me that day." her brow furrowed, realising that she was talking to one of those 'they' but she knew now that Cali had her own thoughts on the matter and that made her different in Lailah's mind.

"I spent my entire life helping people. That was how I used my gifts.. If I could use them for myself my life might be a whole lot different.." she muttered spitefully and shovelled another forkful of food into her mouth to shut herself up.

 

[Caliane Ruinë]

Caliane was quiet for a while after Lailah was finished speaking. It was understandable of course why she felt such a way but she knew how anger could eat at a soul and destroy it. Fear and anger was what brought many people down from their pedestals and turned them into a creature that was hard for even their closest to recognise. She popped a mushroom in her mouth.

"The reason I left Thyasari was because of Hunter - human hunters, mages - they wanted to understand how Avariel got their wings. They tortured and mutilated me - never cutting them off but close enough to it over and over again. I think they hoped to somehow... replicate it. In humans. I hated them for a long time, like you. I was angry with them and I thought I understood why our ancestors had shut us off from the world. But I found the anger began to consume me and I didn't like who I was because of it or how it was beginning to impact my life."