Private Tales Brothels and Broken Things

[Lexi Quinzell]

As the well wishers filed out into the living room Lexi gave a relieved sigh and shot Cassian a thankful smile then sank back into his firm chest. His presence brought more comfort than the small circular motions in her back did for it wasn't the physical pain that troubled her. It was the fear. Lexi was not naïve, childbirth was a dangerous thing for both mother and child. Until now she hadn't allowed herself to fully believe she was about to become a mother and as such had held off the panic. Now... now that dam threatened to break.

"Cass... if anything... if anything goes wrong, you save our little girl. Promise me."

 

[Cassian]

"Don't." Cassian said as calmly as he could, despite how her words shook him.

"Nothin' is goin' to go wrong. You'll get through this, and you and our daughter will be absolutely fine." he assured her, his chin dipping to rest against her shoulder as he continued with his gentle massage.

He closed his eyes, as though that might stop the flashing memories that darkened his mind or the dying screams of his mother. That would not be Lexi.. "You're too strong for that..." he rumbled at her with a kiss to the slope of her neck..

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi said nothing. What could she say? Fear gripped her heart in its vice and squeezed without a care but she knew his would be worse, that this moment would be clouded by the memory of the mother he lost. But the weight of his hope, his belief in her, weighed heavy on her shoulders.

Another spasm of pain had her gripping his hand hard enough to turn her own knuckles white.

"Distract me with something... Please..."

She wasn't sure what Cassian talked about for the next few hours as the contractions got steadily worse to the point she could no longer sit still. The audience in the livingroom had swelled with anxious folk waiting for updates and she was pretty certain there were more outside. She silently thanked Farah for keeping the inside to the strictly necessary. When her nightdress was slick with sweat and she felt as though she could bear it no more, she relented to letting the doctor come through.

"Well, the baby is coming," he announced in his dour voice.

"No fucking, shit! Why is he here?" she snarled. "I could have fucking told myself that."

"No, Commander. I mean, the baby is crowning. I'm going to need you to push."

 

[Cassian]

He told her stories of his childhood and the gypsy tales his mother had told him. He told her how much he loved her, and pondered over what their daughter would be like..the adventures they'd have, and how no boy would ever be good enough for her. He stroked her hair and mopped her brow, he held her hand and let her squeeze until his fingers were blue, but he would not so much as grimace.

There was some relief as the doctor was finally allowed into the room, and though he couldn't help but snort at Lexi's initial response, the colour drained from his face when he said that it was time..

Fuck.

He stared at her blankly for a moment, the sound of the doctor clearing his throat bringing him back into the room. "Right.." Cassian nodded, his heart pounding in his chest as he reached to take Lexi's hand. "You can do this, Lex. Just breathe.." he said, unable to control his own fucking breathing.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

"I swear to god Cassian if you pass out on me right now..."

He definitely looked as pale as he had that day. The doctor also looked a little concerned though he cleared his throat and returned to whatever it was he was doing down there. Lexi tried not to think about what that entailed too hard, she was certain she'd never be able to look him in the eyes every again that was for sure.

"Now, Commander if you could-"

The contraction beat him to it.

What happened next was something those gathered in the livingroom would talk about for many years to come with a mix of amusement and residual fear. The string of curses, threats, and profanities even resulted in the young nurse the doctor had brought with him to leave in tears. Near the end Lexi was in tears herself but eventually the sound of a crying infant filled the room.

 

[Cassian]

He wasn't ready to see Lexi in such pain. The swearing, yes, but he certainly wasn't ready to see her cry. His heart pounded hard in his chest, coursing pure adrenaline through his veins as he sought any way possible to take her pain from her, but nothing would work. He stroked her hair, kissed her brow, let her sip water, let her squeeze his hand until he was certain his fingers were broken and tried as hard as he could not to pass out each time the doctor spoke of the process.

It was terrifying. All of it. And he never wanted to do it again, even if it meant celibacy.

But the moment he heard their daughter cry his heart stopped and he looked at the bloody, wriggling little creature in the doctor's hands and let out a breath he'd been holding. With the relief came his own tears and his knees buckled under his weight. He knelt by the bedside, still holding on to Lexi, still staring between her and their daughter as the doctor cut the cord and cleaned her off.

"You did it, Lex.. You, are fucking amazing." he laughed and leaned to kiss her temple.

"There we are. A healthy baby girl.. Congratulations, both of you!" the man beamed as he settled the babe in her mother's arms.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Why hadn't her mother warned her more? She had never felt so... vulnerable. She had become the pain at some point and now her whole body seemed to thrum with it, but the exhaustion was worse. Lexi could barely lift her head from the pillow and her vision blurred from tears and sweat and a light headedness that made her woozy. It was as though hearing the baby's cry was a sign she could just... stop. That she'd done this most important thing.

Lexi looked down at her daughter who still didn't seem real and her arms shook with the effort of holding her. If she could just... close her eyes for a moment...

"Take her, Cass... I just... need a... moment... I'm okay," had to reassure him. Didn't want him to...

The doctor pressed a hand to her forehead and checked her pulse as her head lolled to the side.

"She's OK," he nodded, looking somewhat relieved. "She just lost a lot of blood, it was a hard labour. I'll stay until she wakes to be sure, but I think the best thing to do is give her rest. Enjoy the alone time with your daughter," he cracked a smile. "I think everyone is dying to meet her out there."

 

[Cassian]

"Lex?.." he frowned at her and looked to the doctor with a look of panic on his face as he lifted the crying infant into his arms and swaddled her.

"No." his head shook. He wasn't leaving her here like this to celebrate their daughter's birth without her. The doctor's assurance only did so much to ease his worry. He could see that she'd lost a lot of blood, he could see that she was exhausted, and he wasn't about to leave her side. They were supposed to share this moment, he wouldn't have it alone, or with anyone else.

"Do what you need to do but I'm staying here. They've waited this long, they can wait until she's awake." he said insistently. He had barely looked at the child in his arms yet, but a tiny hand pressing against his chin drew his attention to her perfect little face, eyes still closed as she protested her birth to all the world.

"Hello." he laughed under his breath and lifted his hand to hers to press a gentle kiss to the tiny fingers which wrapped around his finger, metaphorically and quite literally. His throat ached as his heart splintered in his chest.

"Your mother needs a little rest, kid. We're just gonna wait right here for her, 'kay?" he rumbled, gently rocking her. She stopped crying, seeming to ease with the movement and sound of his voice as he spoke to her. "My name is Cassian. But you can call me Dad. Your mother calls me Cass, or when she's angry she sometimes calls me by other names, but you aren't to repeat those.." he murmured, keeping an eye on Lexi as he paced by the bed.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

The Doctor hesitated as though hoping Cassian might change his mind then gave a reluctant sigh and went about his work. The nurse returned red-eyed whilst he was performing his stitches and she dutifully cleared away the several bloodied sheets and mopped the rest off the floor. The murmuring outside was anxious but whatever the nurse said as she was passing through seemed to ease them and, miraculously, none intruded on the couples space.

With surprising gentleness both medics washed as much of the sweat as they could from Lexi's body and even helped to dress her in a new bed shift. Every few minutes the Doctor checked her vitals and murmured something to the nurse who jotted down his mumblings.

Minutes ticked by into tortured hours before the babe suddenly began to cry again, hungry.

Despite how deep a sleep Lexi had been in the cry roused her and turned her head slowly towards the pair with a small frown.

"Is she.. okay?" her words sounded almost slurred and she struggled to sit herself up.

 

[Cassian]

She didn't feel real. For some reason he hadn't quite anticipated how tiny she would be, nor how quickly or violently his paternal instincts would kick in. The bond that his own father had never quite managed to find with he or his siblings, was instant with her, and it was something that put his mind at ease.

He whispered to her, telling her stories until she fell asleep in the cradle of his arms, and he pestered the doctor every so often, only to be told the same thing again, and again. Yes he was sure Lexi was okay, no she wasn't in pain, yes, she would wake up...

Cassian startled slightly at the sudden cry and stood from the chair he'd settled into, returning to the gentle rocking motion, gently hushing until Lexi's voice grabbed his attention. "She's great." he answered, taking the babe to her with a growing grin.

"Take it easy, love." he murmured, perching himself on the side of the bed to face her, his hand settling on the side of her head and he leaned to press a kiss to her head, with every bit of relief and love and gratitude he felt.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Every part of her body felt as though it were on fire and it only got worse as she tried to move. Almost immediately the doctor was by her side, rearranging pillows to help prop herself up when her muscles failed to do it for her. He didn't say a word, but the tightness around his eyes said it all; she'd come close to death. Taking a shuddering breath she took hold of the still crying bundle, using a pillow across her lap to prop her arms up.

"I told you, I need to be at work tomorrow. No time to rest," she joked. Her attention drifted to the child in her arms and any thought of work vanished. She was still crying but a gentle touch to her cheek quietened them to whimpers. "Hey, you."

All the fears seemed more real now. Here was a child they would be responsible for. Every single fuck up. She swallowed nervously.

"Are you hungry?" Saints let her not fail at this. The nurse tip toed forward and with her gentle instruction, Lexi was able to maneuver her daughter into the right position to latch and she let out a sigh of relief when she began to drink.

"Have you told my parents?" She glanced up to Cassian. They would be the most worried.

 

[Cassian]

At the mention of work, Cassian gave Lexi the most unamused look that he could muster, and had he not been as besotted as he was by the sight of her holding their child, he might have offered some argument. He looked at them both in awe, his hand pushing Lexi's hair back from her face.

"Marta let them know you and the baby were alright, and that you needed some time to rest.. I didn't want to let them meet her without you." he told her quietly. "You had me scared for a while there.." he admitted with a weak smile. Now that she had woken up, perhaps he could relax a little. They were both safe...

"I love you so ff--.. so damn much." he whispered, pressing another kiss to her cheek, and another more gentle kiss to his daughter's head. "Both of you." he added with a grin.

The nurse, Marta, cleared her throat.. "Once the little one is settled, and you're feeling up to it, I'll fetch your parents in, Miss."

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi leaned into the press of his hand but never took her eyes off their little girl. Her heart ached with the sudden onslaught of emotions she felt for this tiny human who until now had been nothing more than a promise. She nodded absently to his comment about making the others wait; holding her now made her realise she would have been jealous if another had met her first.

"I was scared too," she admitted. She still was. Even after bonding the Demi God to her she had not felt this close to death. The doctors glance confirmed it. "But we're okay," she said to comfort herself as well as him and looked up to press a kiss to his cheek.

"We love you too."

Lexi waited for the child to finish and settle back down before nodding to the nurse.

"We need a name still," she murmured as the nurse attempted to form an orderly line outside.

 

[Cassian]

"Aye.. You're okay." he breathed, his cheeks dimpling with the smile that grew on his face the moment she told him they loved him.

"Well, Maverick is most definitely out.. But we can save that for her middle name.." he smirked at Lexi and looked down at their daughter..

He had been thinking of his own mother a lot, lately, in particular the stories that she used to tell he and Remy when they were children. His favourite, had been of a girl, so beautiful and lovely that no shadow could touch her, and men and monsters who's hearts had been consumed by hatred each fell at her feet and wept for forgiveness. He would tell her that story..

"How do you feel about Daphne?.." he asked hesitantly.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi snorted at the suggestion once more of Maverick and the noise made the girl squirm in her arms; the commander took that as sign she also detested the name. Cassian's second suggestion however smoothed her scowl and she stared down at their baby girl thoughtfully. She didn't know the context for where he had gotten the name or she would have loved it even more, but this baby had been his dream more than hers as much as she loved her. It seemed right he chose the name.

And as long as it wasn't Maverick...

"I like that," she smiled and glanced up at her fiance, when her smile grew more. "Daphne Quinzell-Hart."

"Lexi!" her mother rushed not long after into the room followed by Christopher who clapped Cassian on the back. Tahlia was more focused on her daughter, cupping her cheeks and kissing her forehead. Lines of worry were grooved into her face. "I was so worried."

"Is this the little troublemaker then?" Christopher asked, beaming down at Daphne.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian beamed when Lexi spoke their daughter's name for the first time, her full name, and his name. He leaned to kiss her but jolted at Tahlia's voice and looked up with a prideful smile at his future in-laws. He stepped back to give Tahlia some space with her daughter and nodded at Christopher.

"Ah, so that's what you call me.." he smirked. Ah the dad jokes that were yet to come.. "Oh, you mean this one.." he laughed huskily and slapped the man's back in return.

"Meet your Granddaughter. This is Daphne." he grinned.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

"Mum, I'm okay. I promise," Lexi said softly whilst her father spoke with Cassian. Tahlia looked far older in that moment than she had ever seen her and now, holding Daphne, she understood why. That love between a mother and a child would never go away. Not even when they were grown. She squeezed her mothers hand and pressed a kiss to her cheek to reassure her and then nudged her attention to the girl in her arms.

"Daphne, hmm?" Christopher repeated and leaned down with a great, beaming smile. "That's a beautiful name."

Tahlia nodded in agreement.

"Can we...?" Lexi nodded and gently passed the small bundle over to her mother, whose face lit up with joy. Christopher moved around the bed to join his wife.

"Well, now we are old, eh hun? Grandparents." Tahlia sniffed but she didn't stop smiling.

 

[Cassian]

Cassian watched with a slight ache as Lexi's parents fawned over their granddaughter, his dimple appearing as his lips kicked up into a smirk. He sighed and climbed onto the bed beside his fiancee, his arm wrapping around her to pull her gently close to him.

"You doin' okay?.. Can I get you anythin'?" he asked quietly. "You're gonna need a few days' rest, Lex. Please don't argue with me on it. I thought I was gonna lose you.." his brow furrowed and his stomach churned over once again at the thought.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi thought about lying. Briefly.

"Exhausted," she admitted instead and rested her head against his shoulder to join him in watching over her parents coo over the child. She and Cassian might as well not exist as Daphne wrapped them round her little finger. "I'm exhausted Cassian, and I... well I don't think I could look at reports even if I wanted to," she sighed. It was a battle in itself to stay awake now but she knew others needed to know they were well.

"I'll tell Kain he's in charge for the next few weeks. Holding her... It's made me realise what I could have missed if something had happened."

 

[Cassian]

His arm tightened around her, holding her close to him and pressing a kiss to her head with a deep sigh.. "She's safe, and so are you." he nodded, reassuring himself of that fact.. "Kain can handle the work, Farah can too. You've nothin' to worry about.."

"I'm sure your parents would be happy to show her off to the others if you want to rest.." he murmured.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

"Mm."

There was still plenty to worry about in Lexi's mind, but now she had something more to worry about. She had Daphne. It was a feeling she had never expected nor experienced and she needed time to figure out how that fit in with the other lives she was responsible for. She shove that concern away. For now, today, she would merely enjoy the simple fact she and her daughter were alive and well.

"No, people need to see I'm well. And I could do with a bath," she laughed softly then winced at the stab of pain. "Plus, I don't want to miss this. Look at their faces," she nodded.

The nurse had elected to let in Kain and Alec next, the latter had turned up with a tiny teddy.

 

[Cassian]

“Take it easy.” Cassian scolded gently, noticing her wince. “I’ll warm the bath.” He told her with another kiss to her head before getting up to greet Kain and Alec with brotherly hugs that meant more to him than they likely realised. Cassian paused in the doorway, looking in on his family for a moment as they cooed over their daughter..

‘Lucky bastard, Cass.’ He thought to himself with a grin before disappearing for a short while to ready a warm bath and re-light the candles he’d set out for her earlier.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

The queue to see the baby seemed to go on forever. Eventually, Lexi allowed Cassian and her mother to help her from the bed and into the bath so she could clean what the doctors had been unable to. Tahlia waved Cassian back to his child and promised to stay with her daughter lest anything happen whilst she was alone. Finally, bathed and put back into a clean bed, most of the visitors had retreated to give the family time. Tahlia and Christian spoke in low murmurs in the other room but otherwise, the small family were finally alone.

Lexi scooted down in the bed with a yawn, Daphne bundled up in her arms.

"How did we make something so perfect?"

 

[Cassian]

The sense of calm and contentment that settled over him was ataractic. His arm wrapped around Lexi as she held their sleeping daughter. He had never been happier in his life as he was in this very moment.

His cheeks dimpled, and he gave a low rumble of a laugh at her question. "Well, her mother is pretty perfect, but I'm not so sure about what I contributed. Poor lass will likely wind up havin' flat feet like mine or somethin'..." he smirked.

"She looks like you.." he sighed, settling down beside her, his knuckle gently grazing the child's cheek. "I love her so fuckin' much, Lex." his head shook.

 

[Lexi Quinzell]

Lexi gave a quiet laugh.

"Really? I thought she looked more like you," she mused, gazing down at their daughters face. "I know what you mean... I didn't think I could love like this. But if something threatened her... I would tear the world apart, Cass. And that scares me," because she could. Or at least the deity in her mind would certainly try. The constant battle with her raged on in her mind even now. If that thing sensed Lexi had a weakness as big as Daphne...