Private Tales The Price of Defiance

[Sadie]

Sadie’s eyes went wide, the air catching in her throat as she tried to gasp. “Prince Lorcan?” She echoed, words nearly breathless. “King Midir?”

She looked back to Nikolai like he had just casually mentioned that they were going to have their tea with the gods. “You are not serious, are you? That Lorcan? The one..ohgods. Is he here right now? Are you friends?”

There was no hiding in the way she straightened a little, or how her voice pitched slightly higher. “Are we going to meet him?” She was star struck. And equal parts nervous that, if he was there and if he was a friend of Nikolai’s, that they may be adding yet another person to their growing list of people to run from.

And then, because the universe- and Nikolai- had a cruel sense of humor, he decided to mention flying. Immediately, she tucked her wings in tighter, wincing as the movement pulled at the barely scabbed membranes. Fortunately it was not enough to tear them open completely again.

Who knows how Nikolai may have reacted when she assaulted his senses with her scent again.

Her fingers curled around the strap of her bag again, twisting it between them as she mentioned what may have been her most pathetic confession yet.

“I can’t fly.” She muttered, voice low as if the water around them might tell the world her secrets. “I never learned. And even if I could…I mean, look at them.” She huffed a quiet, bitter laugh.

The shredded remains of what may have been graceful were ripped and scarred, aching with every shift of her shoulders. “Unless your Prince happens to be a healer or a miracle worker,” She added, “I think we should stick to the boat.”

 

[Nikolai]

Nik raised a brow, his smirk deepening as she gawked at him like he’d just announced they were about to dine with the gods themselves.

"The one...?" he echoed, feigning ignorance. He knew exactly which one she meant. Lorcan had a reputation, a name that carried weight far beyond the Autumn Court’s borders. But here, on Endora, they knew him for who he truly was.

"I have very few friends," he admitted with an easy shrug. "But yes, Lorcan is one of them." He let that sink in for a moment before adding, "And yes, we’ll most likely meet him. He’s probably already aware we’re here."

Her reaction was almost amusing enough to distract him from the sharp jolt of regret that hit when she flinched, her wings tucking in tight. His gaze flickered to them, and he sighed through his nose. His fault, he knew. Had she had a family who had lived, they would most likely have taught her how to use them.

"You know," he said, tone turning oddly conversational, "the Autumn Court has the highest population of Puca. They make up most of the army. Fierce warriors, male and female. Years ago, males used to have the wings of females clipped, but… that’s punishable now." His jaw tightened slightly, before he forced his expression back to neutrality. "There may be healers here who can fix them."

He studied her for a beat longer, watching the way her fingers twisted around the strap of her bag, how she curled in on herself.

"They hurt?" he asked, quieter this time.

The boat slid smoothly onto the shore, black mist unraveling from its edges as the hull kissed the glittering white sand. Moonlight turned the cove into something almost ethereal. Nik stepped out first, boots sinking into the cool grains. Then, without hesitation, he turned back, reaching for her hand.

 

[Sadie]

I have very few friends.

The words lingered. Heavy and unexpected. Something in her chest twisted at them, at the way he said it so nonchalantly. Like it didn't matter at all. Like it hadn't mattered for a very long time. And maybe it shouldn't have, not to her certainly- the girl who had been closer with a quill and ink than to any other being. She didn't know what it said about her, that she felt sad for him, but there it was. An ache she didn't want to feel and couldn't shake. It was pathetic really. He had more friends than her, so why did his loneliness seem to weigh more.

She kept her eyes on the water, let those questions pile up in her head instead of spilling out. She wanted to ask about the prince. He is friends with a fucking prince. About how this place, like something out of a dream, existed. But she kept her mouth shut. Something in her didn't want to ruin it.

The word puca made her ears perk when he began talking again. Made her wings twitch slightly. She tipped her chin toward him as he explained the brief history, the population, the clipped wings. Gods. They clipped their wings. The thought made her stomach churn. She swallowed hard and tried not to let the image burn itself into her mind. "That sounds...horrible..." She said softly. When he mentioned healers, her eyes darted to his face like she hadn't been sure that she heard him right at all. He wasn't offering, not exactly. But he wasn't not offering either.

Maybe she had hit her head somewhere along in the leylines, because Nikolai was being strange.

Do they hurt?

Sadie winced as her wings shifted again, stiff and heavy. It wasn't even the sharp pain anymore. Not really. It was melting into the dull kind that never left. The kind that soaked into your bones until it became you. She had stopped noticing it until he noticed and made her feel the pain all over again. "Not always..." She answered. Her voice was low, eyes on the sparkly, glowing sand as they approached. "Well, yes always. But you get used to it."

The boat stopped. Her breath caught in her chest. The shore was lit by the moonlight, but the sand itself...glittered like the stars had fallen and scattered themselves along Endora. Fine, shimmering, beautiful. Her mouth parted slightly in surprise, but no words came out.

And then, without letting her mind catch up to her body, she was taking his hand. She didn't mean to, really. It was an instinct. A reflex. Like searching for something comforting when you are about to die in the ocean. Her fingers slipped into his as he helped her over the side of the boat, bare feet sinking into the warm sand.

"Oh!" A soft gasp left her lips. They didn't have sand in the Winter Court. Not as far as she had ever known. "It's..." She looked down at it, toes curling.

Heaven. She thought, but didn't say it. Instead, she just exhaled and looked up at him, something soft and awestruck in her eyes. "Where are you taking me?" She asked, a little quieter than expected. Almost a whisper.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai frowned as she admitted to the pain, his expression unreadable for a moment. Consideration flickered over his features, something dangerously close to concern.

His gaze dropped as her feet sank into the glittering sand, watching the way she stilled, how her breath caught in quiet wonder. And then it hit him—she’d never seen sand before. Never felt it between her toes. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, and he huffed a quiet, amused breath.

"It’s… sand," he finished for her, as if the word itself should have been obvious. His fingers loosened from hers, letting go with a flicker of reluctance. He became acutely aware of the contrast—his skin, cold as shadow, hers warm, dainty..soft.

She asked where he was taking her, voice softer than before, almost hesitant. He opened his mouth to answer—

But then he caught the movement in the trees. A raven perched itself on a low-hanging branch, feathers ruffling in the moonlight. Its dark eyes fixed on them, unblinking.

Nik’s lips quirked.

"Evening, Prince," he murmured, dipping his chin.

 

[Lorcán]

The raven cocked its head, watching for a moment longer before it spread its wings and launched from the branch. But it never touched the ground.

Instead, its body twisted, shape unraveling like ink dispersing in water. The shift was seamless, elegant—one moment a raven, the next, a Fae male stepping from a cloud of black smoke.

Tall, broad-shouldered, dark golden eyes gleaming in the moonlight. His presence had a weight to it, in the way he carried himself and the way he studied his guests for a moment before dipping his chin in greeting to the female.

He looked to Nik then, a grin on his lips. "Nikolai," he said, grasping him into a bear hug, ignoring all formality. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Finally taking me up on that offer?" he smirked. "And you brought company." he said, turning to Sadie, his brow quirking as he shot Nik a glance that said 'very pretty company..'

"Welcome to Endora, Miss?..."

 

[Sadie]

"I know what sand is," She rolled her eyes, her lips twitching into something that nearly- nearly- resembled a smile. Her words came out, lightly exasperated but softened by the breath of laughter that came with the almost-smile. That was real, too, surprising even herself. "I just didn't know it could feel this...nice. Or look so pretty."

She shifted slightly, the bag slipping on her shoulder, wings rustling softly. The moment Nikolai let go of her hand, she nearly lost her balance. A slight teeter made her toes curl into the sand and her arms flew out just in case. But it wasn't just the footing that was wrong. She missed the steadiness of him, but she was not ready to admit that. She hadn't realized how much she had come to rely on it.

And then his voice changed- something in the air shifted. She tensed, eyes snapping up to the tree where he glanced. For a second, she was sure one of her creatures...nightmares...had followed her and that something horrible would leap from the shadows and tear this beautiful place apart.

But it wasn't that, no.

It was worse.

Evening, Prince.

His voice was casual as ever. Sadie froze, her stomach flipping. Prince. Her face went bone white. When the raven transformed before her eyes, graceful and unnatural, she stared, barely breathing, as the smoke drifted away. And revealed a male. No. Not just a male. A tall, golden-eyed, commanding Prince Lorcan.

Wide-eyed, she dropped into the worlds most clumsy and pathetic attempt at a bow, so fast that the bag nearly slipped entirely from her shoulder. The warmth of the moment with Nikolai had evaporated into pure mortification.

And she stayed bowed, unsure how long was appropriate, even as he welcomed her. When his voice didn't carry mockery or disdain, only curiosity, she swallowed hard and finally forced herself to answer. It was a little too soft, a little hoarse.

"S-Sadie," She stuttered, still bowed. Still not looking up. Gods. Am I supposed to do something with my hands?

 

[Nikolai]

“For a time, at least, yes.” Nikolai answered Lorcan, his tone light, but there was something guarded beneath it. His gaze flicked toward Sadie, who was—oh. Still bowed.

He blinked, then smirked.

It was a sight, really. Her shoulders tensed so tightly she might snap in half, wings rustling in uncertain, jerky movements. He was fairly sure she was holding her breath.

His eyes met Lorcan’s and something unspoken passed between them. A moment of mutual amusement.

Nikolai shrugged, and let the moment stretch just long enough to be uncomfortable before nudging her side with his knuckles, his voice edged with dry amusement.

“You can breathe now, Ilith..”

 

[Lorcán]

'You can breathe now, Ilith..' A dark brow quirked as he looked between them.. Interesting.

Lorcan grinned, stepping forward and clapping a firm hand against Nik’s shoulder. “I’m honoured,” he said smoothly, the warmth in his voice genuine. “Anything you need, for as long as you need.”

His golden eyes flicked toward the pretty Puca still locked in a near-tragic bow. He exhaled a laugh, shaking his head slightly before clearing his throat.

“Please, Sadie, there’s no need for that,” he said, voice rich with amusement but not unkind. He tilted his head, watching her with open interest. “I promise I don’t bite,” he added, voice light. Then he paused, glancing at Nikolai with a knowing smirk. “Well. Not unless invited.”

Nik let out a quiet snort and shot him a flat look.

“But I appreciate the impeccable manners all the same.” His lips quirked into an easy grin, though there was curiosity behind it. She was clearly overwhelmed, and he didn’t miss the way her fingers clenched at the strap of her bag like a lifeline.

"Manners I see our friend here is still without.." he commented pointedly about the heavy looking bag, cutting Nikolai a look.

Lorcan offered the female his arm. "Come. We can talk whilst we walk, and you can tell me how you managed to drag him here."

 

[Sadie]

Sadie felt the soft nudge of Nikolai's knuckles against her ribs and startled slightly. She hadn't realized that she was even holding her breath until all of it rushed out of her lungs in a shaky exhale. Her face went up in flames at the realization. Gods. Not again.

The same humiliating warmth bloomed over her cheeks, spreading down her skin like fire. Just the same as it had when she had clung onto Nikolai's chest on the terrifying boat ride. She straightened stiffly, wings giving a little flutter as she lifted her chin. She caught a glance between the two males and didn't miss the glint of amusement dancing behind their eyes. Her gaze darted warily between the two, but she forced herself upright once the Prince had told her there was no such need.

When she finally looked at him, her eyes widened. Something about biting made her breath catch in her throat and her head snapped towards Nikolai with an alarmed expression. Was Lorcan also an Ail'thain? She seemed to be asking, fear creeping through her as if Nikolai had lied to her in order to bring the poor little sheep straight into the lion's den.

But she said none of it aloud.

"Oh, n-no...I'm alright..." She said quickly, giving Lorcan a firm little shake of her head. Dark brown waves fell over her shoulders at the movement. "No biting necessary. Really. Please."

She flinched when Lorcan extended an arm, her heart skipping a beat. Not because she was flattered. Not entirely at least. But rather, it was because no one had ever offered an arm to her alike that. It was something she'd read about in books. Courtesies of the courts. Highborn males and females. Books on manners Eluin once told her that she lacked. It was so...elegant.

She looked at the offered arm, then at the bag that Lorcan was clearly suggesting Nikolai hold. Then, without so much as a second thought, she shoved the bag straight into Nikolai's chest, a little more forcefully than she intended with her shaky hands and frantic, beating heart. "Thank you." She said quickly under her breath before stepping forward and accepting the Prince's arm.

"Actually," She spoke to the Prince, correcting him. "Nikolai dragged me here." And somehow, even with her face still red and her wings still aching, Sadie almost smiled.

 

[Lorcán]

"I'm joking, Sadie," the prince laughed quietly, the sound warm and genuine. He didn’t miss the flicker of panic in her expression and softened his teasing just a fraction. "I think my mate would be quite aggrieved were I to go around biting pretty females. I assure you, you're quite safe here." He smiled at her, careful now, wanting to put her at ease.

'Nikolai dragged me here..'

"I see," he murmured, casting a glance back at Nikolai. If Nik had ‘dragged’ her here, then it was likely for her safety. That, in itself, was interesting.

His lips curled into a smirk. "Well. Any friend of Nikolai's is—" He paused, then tilted his head with exaggerated thoughtfulness. "Actually, I didn’t realise he had any other friends." His voice was just loud enough to ensure Nikolai heard, and he didn’t bother to hide his amusement.

Nik let out a low, unimpressed sound behind them.

Lorcan chuckled but didn’t press further. Instead, his golden eyes swept over Sadie once more, taking her in properly now. The wariness in her violet eyes, the delicate flutter of her wings, the way she carried herself—not quite like a court-trained noble, but not entirely wild either.

"Where did he steal you from?" he mused, studying her with quiet curiosity. "You are not of the Autumn Court."

"We have many Puca here. A vast encampment on the mainland, some of our best warriors. And here on the island as well," he added, watching her carefully. "If you get sick of Nikolai’s company, I am sure you will find many friends among them."

"You will visit the city, yes?"

The question wasn’t entirely a question—it was a hope, woven in the easy cadence of his voice. He led them forward, guiding them through the cove and up the worn stone steps that cut through the forest path. The scent of moss and night-blooming flowers filled the air, the sounds of rivers and waterfalls mingling with the soft hum of crickets.

Fireflies danced in the darkness, golden sparks weaving between the trees, casting a warm glow against the thick canopy above. Even in the night, Endora pulsed with life.

Somewhere behind them, Nikolai exhaled, slow and measured, as if the weight of something unseen had settled over him. But he said nothing.

Then, as they emerged from the forest onto a high cliffside, the world opened before them.

The view stretched wide, breathtaking even in the dark. Below, Lake Azura gleamed silver beneath the moonlight, its vast surface broken only by the reflection of the city beyond it. The heart of the island pulsed with life—warm, golden lights scattered like fallen stars, music and laughter drifting faintly through the air.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" he asked with pride instead of ego.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai grunted as the bag of books was shoved into his chest, the weight of it forcing him to adjust his stance. The very same bag of books she had insisted on bringing despite his protests. And now, she had the audacity to dump them on him as if they were his burden to bear.

He could have burned them where he stood. The thought flickered idly in his mind, an easy solution. Yet… she trusted him not to. Curious. Or just naive.

Rather than start that particular war, he huffed and slung the bag over his shoulder. His gaze stayed fixed on Sadie as he trailed behind her and Lorcan, his eyes narrowing slightly as the prince offered his arm and she—without hesitation—accepted.

Even when Lorcan mentioned his mate being aggrieved, the tension in Nikolai’s shoulders didn’t ease. His jaw remained tight, unreadable. So would hers. The thought came unbidden, sharp as a blade. Mated or not, Nikolai wasn't blind to how attractive a male Lorcan was. He was everything Nik was not, full of life, warmth, living his life out in the open instead of slinking into the shadows. Lorcan lived in the light, walked openly in his own lands, loved freely. Free. Once upon a time, the prince had been different, but now? Now, he was a changed male. Nikolai supposed he had his mate to thank for that.

A muscle ticked in his jaw.

"I expected more tension, given the impending war you've caused," Nikolai remarked, his voice low and edged.

Lorcan stiffened slightly. "Caused with good reason," he countered without hesitation.

Nikolai hummed but said nothing.

"War will not touch Endora," Lorcan continued, a quiet promise woven into the words. "It is to be a safe haven for those who cannot fight… But tonight is not for talks of war." A pause. Then, smoothly, "We have a new guest."

Nikolai didn’t miss the glance Lorcan cast back at him, nor the subtle way he released Sadie’s arm as he turned toward the house perched atop the hill. A beautiful thing, bathed in moonlight, overlooking the glittering sprawl of the city below.

Lorcan gestured toward the stone steps leading up to it.

"All yours."

 

[Sadie]

Sadie's hair prickled along her scalp when Lorcan mentioned his mate, and though she offered a strained smile, she very deliberately chose not to comment. She didn't know what had her back straightening quite so sharply. Perhaps it was the idea of mates altogether. Or of how easily he spoke of it, lighthearted and confident, when she and Nikolai could hardly be in the same room sometimes without starting a war. Or perhaps it was the fact that she could feel his gaze burning into her from behind.

The coldness on her ribs where Nikolai's hand had nudged her still lingered and she was left grasping for her own composure as Lorcan turned his attention to Nikolai once again. Her eyes flicked back to where he lingered when Lorcan teased him over his apparent lack of friends and again, Sadie was left wondering what the flicker of emotions was. Sadness? Maybe. Or a strange sort of sympathy. She didn't have the right to pity him when she was worse off.

When Lorcan asked her where she had been stolen from, she straightened a little, her voice soft with that little hint of a nervous stutter still present. "I'm from the Winter Court. That is where I had been living and working before he..." She nodded her head towards Nikolai, then gave a slight rueful smile, "suggested a change of scenery."

Because what actually should she say? Yes, they were friends. But what were she and Nikolai other than mates? Did she tell him he'd originally kidnapped her? Broke into her workplace and burned her work? Saved her life only to almost kill himself or her? What was the appropriate amount of oversharing for a Prince?

So she didn't say any more of it. Not unless he asked. She didn't tell him that she was the only Sindarin Puca there, or how she'd never learned to use her wings because of it. Didn't tell him how she was treated like a disease, avoided, unwanted in almost every aspect of her life. Didn't tell him that Nikolai killed her family and couldn't bring himself to kill her too, dooming her to the life of failure and neglect.

She wasn't sure she wanted to unpack any of that. Even with herself.

Prince Lorcan mentioned encampments filled with Puca warriors. The idea was lovely- having others like her. Friends, even. But she couldn't picture herself among them. Not when they were likely trained. Females beautiful in the ways that mattered. She would stand out just as she always had. She was just...frail. Small. Unremarkable.

Still, she managed a grateful nod. "I'd love to see the city."

They crested a hill and emerged from the tree line and the sight stole her breath. She nearly lost her balance as her wings fluttered and pulled slightly at her back, catching in the night breeze. Sadie approached the ledge of the cliff instinctively, eyes wide and full of wonder.

"It's beautiful." The city glowed beneath the moonlight, delicate and shimmering. A dream carved from stone and autumn leaves. Her fingers pressed against the stone ledge as she leaned forward just a little, heart fluttering at the view. The lake...she had never seen anything like it. It seemed each new thing Nikolai had given her would be a first. A wonderful first at that.

She didn't draw her eyes from the view, even as Lorcan and Nikolai began to speak of war. That word turned her stomach, sour and bitter. But when Lorcan said that Endora will not be touched by it, she didn't say a thing- but something cold curled beneath her ribs. Coward. Some part of her thought bitterly. Easy to call a place a haven when you hide from the was you started.

But the judgment didn't last long because as Lorcan turned toward the path, Sadie's gaze shifted. Her breath caught. There, nestled atop a secluded hill and bathed in the moonlight, was a house. A beautiful thing of pale stone with wide windows and flowering vines curling along the edges of its wall. It overlooked everything.

And it was now Nikolai's house.

She blinked, steps halting for a second as that registered. The weight of the gift settled in her chest. The thought that someone had cared enough to give Nikolai something. Anything. Not from demand. Not forced. Given. And not just anything. A home.