Private Tales The Price of Defiance

[Sadie]

Sadie’s eyes went wide, the air catching in her throat as she tried to gasp. “Prince Lorcan?” She echoed, words nearly breathless. “King Midir?”

She looked back to Nikolai like he had just casually mentioned that they were going to have their tea with the gods. “You are not serious, are you? That Lorcan? The one..ohgods. Is he here right now? Are you friends?”

There was no hiding in the way she straightened a little, or how her voice pitched slightly higher. “Are we going to meet him?” She was star struck. And equal parts nervous that, if he was there and if he was a friend of Nikolai’s, that they may be adding yet another person to their growing list of people to run from.

And then, because the universe- and Nikolai- had a cruel sense of humor, he decided to mention flying. Immediately, she tucked her wings in tighter, wincing as the movement pulled at the barely scabbed membranes. Fortunately it was not enough to tear them open completely again.

Who knows how Nikolai may have reacted when she assaulted his senses with her scent again.

Her fingers curled around the strap of her bag again, twisting it between them as she mentioned what may have been her most pathetic confession yet.

“I can’t fly.” She muttered, voice low as if the water around them might tell the world her secrets. “I never learned. And even if I could…I mean, look at them.” She huffed a quiet, bitter laugh.

The shredded remains of what may have been graceful were ripped and scarred, aching with every shift of her shoulders. “Unless your Prince happens to be a healer or a miracle worker,” She added, “I think we should stick to the boat.”

 

[Nikolai]

Nik raised a brow, his smirk deepening as she gawked at him like he’d just announced they were about to dine with the gods themselves.

"The one...?" he echoed, feigning ignorance. He knew exactly which one she meant. Lorcan had a reputation, a name that carried weight far beyond the Autumn Court’s borders. But here, on Endora, they knew him for who he truly was.

"I have very few friends," he admitted with an easy shrug. "But yes, Lorcan is one of them." He let that sink in for a moment before adding, "And yes, we’ll most likely meet him. He’s probably already aware we’re here."

Her reaction was almost amusing enough to distract him from the sharp jolt of regret that hit when she flinched, her wings tucking in tight. His gaze flickered to them, and he sighed through his nose. His fault, he knew. Had she had a family who had lived, they would most likely have taught her how to use them.

"You know," he said, tone turning oddly conversational, "the Autumn Court has the highest population of Puca. They make up most of the army. Fierce warriors, male and female. Years ago, males used to have the wings of females clipped, but… that’s punishable now." His jaw tightened slightly, before he forced his expression back to neutrality. "There may be healers here who can fix them."

He studied her for a beat longer, watching the way her fingers twisted around the strap of her bag, how she curled in on herself.

"They hurt?" he asked, quieter this time.

The boat slid smoothly onto the shore, black mist unraveling from its edges as the hull kissed the glittering white sand. Moonlight turned the cove into something almost ethereal. Nik stepped out first, boots sinking into the cool grains. Then, without hesitation, he turned back, reaching for her hand.

 

[Sadie]

I have very few friends.

The words lingered. Heavy and unexpected. Something in her chest twisted at them, at the way he said it so nonchalantly. Like it didn't matter at all. Like it hadn't mattered for a very long time. And maybe it shouldn't have, not to her certainly- the girl who had been closer with a quill and ink than to any other being. She didn't know what it said about her, that she felt sad for him, but there it was. An ache she didn't want to feel and couldn't shake. It was pathetic really. He had more friends than her, so why did his loneliness seem to weigh more.

She kept her eyes on the water, let those questions pile up in her head instead of spilling out. She wanted to ask about the prince. He is friends with a fucking prince. About how this place, like something out of a dream, existed. But she kept her mouth shut. Something in her didn't want to ruin it.

The word puca made her ears perk when he began talking again. Made her wings twitch slightly. She tipped her chin toward him as he explained the brief history, the population, the clipped wings. Gods. They clipped their wings. The thought made her stomach churn. She swallowed hard and tried not to let the image burn itself into her mind. "That sounds...horrible..." She said softly. When he mentioned healers, her eyes darted to his face like she hadn't been sure that she heard him right at all. He wasn't offering, not exactly. But he wasn't not offering either.

Maybe she had hit her head somewhere along in the leylines, because Nikolai was being strange.

Do they hurt?

Sadie winced as her wings shifted again, stiff and heavy. It wasn't even the sharp pain anymore. Not really. It was melting into the dull kind that never left. The kind that soaked into your bones until it became you. She had stopped noticing it until he noticed and made her feel the pain all over again. "Not always..." She answered. Her voice was low, eyes on the sparkly, glowing sand as they approached. "Well, yes always. But you get used to it."

The boat stopped. Her breath caught in her chest. The shore was lit by the moonlight, but the sand itself...glittered like the stars had fallen and scattered themselves along Endora. Fine, shimmering, beautiful. Her mouth parted slightly in surprise, but no words came out.

And then, without letting her mind catch up to her body, she was taking his hand. She didn't mean to, really. It was an instinct. A reflex. Like searching for something comforting when you are about to die in the ocean. Her fingers slipped into his as he helped her over the side of the boat, bare feet sinking into the warm sand.

"Oh!" A soft gasp left her lips. They didn't have sand in the Winter Court. Not as far as she had ever known. "It's..." She looked down at it, toes curling.

Heaven. She thought, but didn't say it. Instead, she just exhaled and looked up at him, something soft and awestruck in her eyes. "Where are you taking me?" She asked, a little quieter than expected. Almost a whisper.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai frowned as she admitted to the pain, his expression unreadable for a moment. Consideration flickered over his features, something dangerously close to concern.

His gaze dropped as her feet sank into the glittering sand, watching the way she stilled, how her breath caught in quiet wonder. And then it hit him—she’d never seen sand before. Never felt it between her toes. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, and he huffed a quiet, amused breath.

"It’s… sand," he finished for her, as if the word itself should have been obvious. His fingers loosened from hers, letting go with a flicker of reluctance. He became acutely aware of the contrast—his skin, cold as shadow, hers warm, dainty..soft.

She asked where he was taking her, voice softer than before, almost hesitant. He opened his mouth to answer—

But then he caught the movement in the trees. A raven perched itself on a low-hanging branch, feathers ruffling in the moonlight. Its dark eyes fixed on them, unblinking.

Nik’s lips quirked.

"Evening, Prince," he murmured, dipping his chin.

 

[Lorcán]

The raven cocked its head, watching for a moment longer before it spread its wings and launched from the branch. But it never touched the ground.

Instead, its body twisted, shape unraveling like ink dispersing in water. The shift was seamless, elegant—one moment a raven, the next, a Fae male stepping from a cloud of black smoke.

Tall, broad-shouldered, dark golden eyes gleaming in the moonlight. His presence had a weight to it, in the way he carried himself and the way he studied his guests for a moment before dipping his chin in greeting to the female.

He looked to Nik then, a grin on his lips. "Nikolai," he said, grasping him into a bear hug, ignoring all formality. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Finally taking me up on that offer?" he smirked. "And you brought company." he said, turning to Sadie, his brow quirking as he shot Nik a glance that said 'very pretty company..'

"Welcome to Endora, Miss?..."

 

[Sadie]

"I know what sand is," She rolled her eyes, her lips twitching into something that nearly- nearly- resembled a smile. Her words came out, lightly exasperated but softened by the breath of laughter that came with the almost-smile. That was real, too, surprising even herself. "I just didn't know it could feel this...nice. Or look so pretty."

She shifted slightly, the bag slipping on her shoulder, wings rustling softly. The moment Nikolai let go of her hand, she nearly lost her balance. A slight teeter made her toes curl into the sand and her arms flew out just in case. But it wasn't just the footing that was wrong. She missed the steadiness of him, but she was not ready to admit that. She hadn't realized how much she had come to rely on it.

And then his voice changed- something in the air shifted. She tensed, eyes snapping up to the tree where he glanced. For a second, she was sure one of her creatures...nightmares...had followed her and that something horrible would leap from the shadows and tear this beautiful place apart.

But it wasn't that, no.

It was worse.

Evening, Prince.

His voice was casual as ever. Sadie froze, her stomach flipping. Prince. Her face went bone white. When the raven transformed before her eyes, graceful and unnatural, she stared, barely breathing, as the smoke drifted away. And revealed a male. No. Not just a male. A tall, golden-eyed, commanding Prince Lorcan.

Wide-eyed, she dropped into the worlds most clumsy and pathetic attempt at a bow, so fast that the bag nearly slipped entirely from her shoulder. The warmth of the moment with Nikolai had evaporated into pure mortification.

And she stayed bowed, unsure how long was appropriate, even as he welcomed her. When his voice didn't carry mockery or disdain, only curiosity, she swallowed hard and finally forced herself to answer. It was a little too soft, a little hoarse.

"S-Sadie," She stuttered, still bowed. Still not looking up. Gods. Am I supposed to do something with my hands?

 

[Nikolai]

“For a time, at least, yes.” Nikolai answered Lorcan, his tone light, but there was something guarded beneath it. His gaze flicked toward Sadie, who was—oh. Still bowed.

He blinked, then smirked.

It was a sight, really. Her shoulders tensed so tightly she might snap in half, wings rustling in uncertain, jerky movements. He was fairly sure she was holding her breath.

His eyes met Lorcan’s and something unspoken passed between them. A moment of mutual amusement.

Nikolai shrugged, and let the moment stretch just long enough to be uncomfortable before nudging her side with his knuckles, his voice edged with dry amusement.

“You can breathe now, Ilith..”

 

[Lorcán]

'You can breathe now, Ilith..' A dark brow quirked as he looked between them.. Interesting.

Lorcan grinned, stepping forward and clapping a firm hand against Nik’s shoulder. “I’m honoured,” he said smoothly, the warmth in his voice genuine. “Anything you need, for as long as you need.”

His golden eyes flicked toward the pretty Puca still locked in a near-tragic bow. He exhaled a laugh, shaking his head slightly before clearing his throat.

“Please, Sadie, there’s no need for that,” he said, voice rich with amusement but not unkind. He tilted his head, watching her with open interest. “I promise I don’t bite,” he added, voice light. Then he paused, glancing at Nikolai with a knowing smirk. “Well. Not unless invited.”

Nik let out a quiet snort and shot him a flat look.

“But I appreciate the impeccable manners all the same.” His lips quirked into an easy grin, though there was curiosity behind it. She was clearly overwhelmed, and he didn’t miss the way her fingers clenched at the strap of her bag like a lifeline.

"Manners I see our friend here is still without.." he commented pointedly about the heavy looking bag, cutting Nikolai a look.

Lorcan offered the female his arm. "Come. We can talk whilst we walk, and you can tell me how you managed to drag him here."

 

[Sadie]

Sadie felt the soft nudge of Nikolai's knuckles against her ribs and startled slightly. She hadn't realized that she was even holding her breath until all of it rushed out of her lungs in a shaky exhale. Her face went up in flames at the realization. Gods. Not again.

The same humiliating warmth bloomed over her cheeks, spreading down her skin like fire. Just the same as it had when she had clung onto Nikolai's chest on the terrifying boat ride. She straightened stiffly, wings giving a little flutter as she lifted her chin. She caught a glance between the two males and didn't miss the glint of amusement dancing behind their eyes. Her gaze darted warily between the two, but she forced herself upright once the Prince had told her there was no such need.

When she finally looked at him, her eyes widened. Something about biting made her breath catch in her throat and her head snapped towards Nikolai with an alarmed expression. Was Lorcan also an Ail'thain? She seemed to be asking, fear creeping through her as if Nikolai had lied to her in order to bring the poor little sheep straight into the lion's den.

But she said none of it aloud.

"Oh, n-no...I'm alright..." She said quickly, giving Lorcan a firm little shake of her head. Dark brown waves fell over her shoulders at the movement. "No biting necessary. Really. Please."

She flinched when Lorcan extended an arm, her heart skipping a beat. Not because she was flattered. Not entirely at least. But rather, it was because no one had ever offered an arm to her alike that. It was something she'd read about in books. Courtesies of the courts. Highborn males and females. Books on manners Eluin once told her that she lacked. It was so...elegant.

She looked at the offered arm, then at the bag that Lorcan was clearly suggesting Nikolai hold. Then, without so much as a second thought, she shoved the bag straight into Nikolai's chest, a little more forcefully than she intended with her shaky hands and frantic, beating heart. "Thank you." She said quickly under her breath before stepping forward and accepting the Prince's arm.

"Actually," She spoke to the Prince, correcting him. "Nikolai dragged me here." And somehow, even with her face still red and her wings still aching, Sadie almost smiled.

 

[Lorcán]

"I'm joking, Sadie," the prince laughed quietly, the sound warm and genuine. He didn’t miss the flicker of panic in her expression and softened his teasing just a fraction. "I think my mate would be quite aggrieved were I to go around biting pretty females. I assure you, you're quite safe here." He smiled at her, careful now, wanting to put her at ease.

'Nikolai dragged me here..'

"I see," he murmured, casting a glance back at Nikolai. If Nik had ‘dragged’ her here, then it was likely for her safety. That, in itself, was interesting.

His lips curled into a smirk. "Well. Any friend of Nikolai's is—" He paused, then tilted his head with exaggerated thoughtfulness. "Actually, I didn’t realise he had any other friends." His voice was just loud enough to ensure Nikolai heard, and he didn’t bother to hide his amusement.

Nik let out a low, unimpressed sound behind them.

Lorcan chuckled but didn’t press further. Instead, his golden eyes swept over Sadie once more, taking her in properly now. The wariness in her violet eyes, the delicate flutter of her wings, the way she carried herself—not quite like a court-trained noble, but not entirely wild either.

"Where did he steal you from?" he mused, studying her with quiet curiosity. "You are not of the Autumn Court."

"We have many Puca here. A vast encampment on the mainland, some of our best warriors. And here on the island as well," he added, watching her carefully. "If you get sick of Nikolai’s company, I am sure you will find many friends among them."

"You will visit the city, yes?"

The question wasn’t entirely a question—it was a hope, woven in the easy cadence of his voice. He led them forward, guiding them through the cove and up the worn stone steps that cut through the forest path. The scent of moss and night-blooming flowers filled the air, the sounds of rivers and waterfalls mingling with the soft hum of crickets.

Fireflies danced in the darkness, golden sparks weaving between the trees, casting a warm glow against the thick canopy above. Even in the night, Endora pulsed with life.

Somewhere behind them, Nikolai exhaled, slow and measured, as if the weight of something unseen had settled over him. But he said nothing.

Then, as they emerged from the forest onto a high cliffside, the world opened before them.

The view stretched wide, breathtaking even in the dark. Below, Lake Azura gleamed silver beneath the moonlight, its vast surface broken only by the reflection of the city beyond it. The heart of the island pulsed with life—warm, golden lights scattered like fallen stars, music and laughter drifting faintly through the air.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" he asked with pride instead of ego.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai grunted as the bag of books was shoved into his chest, the weight of it forcing him to adjust his stance. The very same bag of books she had insisted on bringing despite his protests. And now, she had the audacity to dump them on him as if they were his burden to bear.

He could have burned them where he stood. The thought flickered idly in his mind, an easy solution. Yet… she trusted him not to. Curious. Or just naive.

Rather than start that particular war, he huffed and slung the bag over his shoulder. His gaze stayed fixed on Sadie as he trailed behind her and Lorcan, his eyes narrowing slightly as the prince offered his arm and she—without hesitation—accepted.

Even when Lorcan mentioned his mate being aggrieved, the tension in Nikolai’s shoulders didn’t ease. His jaw remained tight, unreadable. So would hers. The thought came unbidden, sharp as a blade. Mated or not, Nikolai wasn't blind to how attractive a male Lorcan was. He was everything Nik was not, full of life, warmth, living his life out in the open instead of slinking into the shadows. Lorcan lived in the light, walked openly in his own lands, loved freely. Free. Once upon a time, the prince had been different, but now? Now, he was a changed male. Nikolai supposed he had his mate to thank for that.

A muscle ticked in his jaw.

"I expected more tension, given the impending war you've caused," Nikolai remarked, his voice low and edged.

Lorcan stiffened slightly. "Caused with good reason," he countered without hesitation.

Nikolai hummed but said nothing.

"War will not touch Endora," Lorcan continued, a quiet promise woven into the words. "It is to be a safe haven for those who cannot fight… But tonight is not for talks of war." A pause. Then, smoothly, "We have a new guest."

Nikolai didn’t miss the glance Lorcan cast back at him, nor the subtle way he released Sadie’s arm as he turned toward the house perched atop the hill. A beautiful thing, bathed in moonlight, overlooking the glittering sprawl of the city below.

Lorcan gestured toward the stone steps leading up to it.

"All yours."

 

[Sadie]

Sadie's hair prickled along her scalp when Lorcan mentioned his mate, and though she offered a strained smile, she very deliberately chose not to comment. She didn't know what had her back straightening quite so sharply. Perhaps it was the idea of mates altogether. Or of how easily he spoke of it, lighthearted and confident, when she and Nikolai could hardly be in the same room sometimes without starting a war. Or perhaps it was the fact that she could feel his gaze burning into her from behind.

The coldness on her ribs where Nikolai's hand had nudged her still lingered and she was left grasping for her own composure as Lorcan turned his attention to Nikolai once again. Her eyes flicked back to where he lingered when Lorcan teased him over his apparent lack of friends and again, Sadie was left wondering what the flicker of emotions was. Sadness? Maybe. Or a strange sort of sympathy. She didn't have the right to pity him when she was worse off.

When Lorcan asked her where she had been stolen from, she straightened a little, her voice soft with that little hint of a nervous stutter still present. "I'm from the Winter Court. That is where I had been living and working before he..." She nodded her head towards Nikolai, then gave a slight rueful smile, "suggested a change of scenery."

Because what actually should she say? Yes, they were friends. But what were she and Nikolai other than mates? Did she tell him he'd originally kidnapped her? Broke into her workplace and burned her work? Saved her life only to almost kill himself or her? What was the appropriate amount of oversharing for a Prince?

So she didn't say any more of it. Not unless he asked. She didn't tell him that she was the only Sindarin Puca there, or how she'd never learned to use her wings because of it. Didn't tell him how she was treated like a disease, avoided, unwanted in almost every aspect of her life. Didn't tell him that Nikolai killed her family and couldn't bring himself to kill her too, dooming her to the life of failure and neglect.

She wasn't sure she wanted to unpack any of that. Even with herself.

Prince Lorcan mentioned encampments filled with Puca warriors. The idea was lovely- having others like her. Friends, even. But she couldn't picture herself among them. Not when they were likely trained. Females beautiful in the ways that mattered. She would stand out just as she always had. She was just...frail. Small. Unremarkable.

Still, she managed a grateful nod. "I'd love to see the city."

They crested a hill and emerged from the tree line and the sight stole her breath. She nearly lost her balance as her wings fluttered and pulled slightly at her back, catching in the night breeze. Sadie approached the ledge of the cliff instinctively, eyes wide and full of wonder.

"It's beautiful." The city glowed beneath the moonlight, delicate and shimmering. A dream carved from stone and autumn leaves. Her fingers pressed against the stone ledge as she leaned forward just a little, heart fluttering at the view. The lake...she had never seen anything like it. It seemed each new thing Nikolai had given her would be a first. A wonderful first at that.

She didn't draw her eyes from the view, even as Lorcan and Nikolai began to speak of war. That word turned her stomach, sour and bitter. But when Lorcan said that Endora will not be touched by it, she didn't say a thing- but something cold curled beneath her ribs. Coward. Some part of her thought bitterly. Easy to call a place a haven when you hide from the was you started.

But the judgment didn't last long because as Lorcan turned toward the path, Sadie's gaze shifted. Her breath caught. There, nestled atop a secluded hill and bathed in the moonlight, was a house. A beautiful thing of pale stone with wide windows and flowering vines curling along the edges of its wall. It overlooked everything.

And it was now Nikolai's house.

She blinked, steps halting for a second as that registered. The weight of the gift settled in her chest. The thought that someone had cared enough to give Nikolai something. Anything. Not from demand. Not forced. Given. And not just anything. A home.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai had felt the weight of pity from somewhere, and he shoved it aside before it could settle. He didn’t care for pity. He didn't care for friends. Friends and family had a way of leaving—one way or another. They always did. And each time, it only made him more bitter, more resentful. Life was lonely, and he was used to it that way.

He let his gaze drag over the house, unreadable. The silence stretched just long enough to become notable before he finally muttered, "It’s white."

 

[Lorcán]

Lorcan’s smile widened when Sadie expressed her interest in seeing the city. "Excellent." He nodded approvingly, clearly pleased, but it was the way she looked at the house that had his grin turning into something warmer. He beamed.

"I'm very glad you like it," he said, watching her take in the sight. Then, with an amused quirk of his brow, he added, "Our friend Nikolai here saved my life. It's the least I could do."

'It's white..'
Lorcan snorted. "In keeping with my decor, My Lord," he teased. "I think you’ll find the basement to your liking."

Nikolai arched a brow but didn’t ask. If the prince thought he would be pleased, then it was likely dark, quiet, and far from the world. Good.

"I’ll be around for another day or so," Lorcan continued, stretching. "Maeve and I have been extending the city, setting up housing for those unable to fight when the time comes, but I’ll be needed back on the mainland soon enough. Maeve may remain here—if I can convince her to. The Summer Court Princess is here as well, with her companion. Should anything go awry and my dear cousin succeeds in murdering me, well…" He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "I’m leaving Endora in her kind hands, with the aid of my brothers."

A pause. Then, with a playful gleam in his eye, Lorcan looked at Sadie.

"I’ll leave you both to get settled. It was a pleasure to meet you, Sadie." His smirk turned wry. "Take care of him, won’t you?"

The wink was entirely unnecessary.

Then, without another word, his form warped into shadow and smoke, reshaping in an instant to the sleek black of a raven. With a single beat of his wings, he was gone, disappearing into the night sky.

 

[Sadie]

"Saved your life?" She blinked, her gaze drifting slowly back towards Nikolai, brows faintly furrowing. The words weren't accusatory. Not even skeptical for once. Just...surprised. Nikolai hadn't struck her as the type to save anyone. Kill them? Yes. Kidnap them? Also, yes. Threaten them? Absolutely. Grumble and sulk like the darkness incarnate? Daily. But saving someone else- especially someone like him...a prince...royal... That was...different.

She turned back to face the house, studying the structure again. The white stone, that Nikolai seemed to not like, glowed faintly under the moonlight, casting the entire place in a soft, pearlescent hue. "It really is beautiful." She murmured, the words genuine and aimed at Lorcan. "Just like your city...All of Endora, really."

And it was. It really, really was. She didn't mention how foreign it felt though. The brightness, the openness of it all. It was such a contrast to Nikolai's shadow stained manor, where even the air felt dark. And compared to the crooked, forgotten thing she had once called her home...this may as well have been a castle.

Still, her voice softened further as she added, "I like the white. It is different."

Lorcan mentioned a Summer Court Princess and his return to the mainland. Her stomach twisted. SO. Even more royalty were here. How absolutely not intimidating at all. She could only hope that Lorcan was the only one brave enough to befriend Nikolai. Sadie's lips pressed together. Her expression didn't reveal what her mind whispered. Things she didn't want to acknowledge. War caused with good reason to him, she was sure. But was running from it justified? Was that what leaders did? Lead all of the most vulnerable to one location in hopes that they may remain undiscovered.

What if this place wasn't a glamored secret? What if they were waiting to slaughter elderly, the sick, females, and children? Was that what leaders did? Stir the pot and hide in a pristine little haven?

She didn't say it. Her thoughts were hers alone, but the flicker of disapproval in her eyes may have said enough.

And then Lorcan turned a bright, knowing gaze on her. Take care of him, won't you? The wink that followed may as well have set her on fire for Sadie turned scarlet, blinking furiously as she ducked into another bow. This one, worse than the last somehow. Her arms stayed awkwardly pinned to her side and she nearly tipped over from her wings forcing her weight forward.

She didn't move, not even as the rustle of feathers cut through the air and the sharp gust of wind brushed past her. "...Is he gone?" She whispered after a moment. When silence answered, she peeked one eye upward and confirmed that the raven was nowhere to be seen. Then finally she straightened herself.

Still refusing to look at Nikolai, she gathered what little remained of her dignity and turned towards the steps leading to the house. "I'm going to check out what's inside." She said frantically.

Sadie didn't wait for him, but gods...she could feel him trailing behind.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai didn’t flinch when she looked at him with that quiet, stunned expression. He saw it. Heard it. Felt it. And for some reason, that gnawed at him more than it should have. Of course she’d be surprised. What was he to her but the monster he was? Why wouldn’t she doubt he had a scrap of decency in him? Why would anyone think he was capable of anything other than destruction?

He gave a grunt in answer. Low. Dismissive. Like he didn’t care. Like it didn’t matter. It didn't matter.

But then her eyes lingered on the house, her voice soft and sincere as she called it beautiful again, and this time the words felt heavier. More than politeness. More than obligation. She meant it. And for reasons he couldn't quite put into words, that mattered.

Endora was warm, even in the cool of night. The earth smelled alive here—loamy, floral, fresh. There was no ice on the wind. No true winter darkness. It was brighter, more open, and everything in him tensed with discomfort at the purity of it.

But she liked it. And because she liked it, he found himself not hating it quite so much.

She’d spent too long in that cursed manor of his, in the shadows and silence. She deserved…this. Whatever this was. A clean slate, maybe. A chance to breathe.

Lorcan’s voice pulled him out of the spiral, and Nikolai’s brow arched as the Prince listed off his plans like he wasn’t just casually handing the safety of an entire city over to a Summer Court princess and her ‘companion.’ Interesting, he murmured, mostly to himself.

Then came the wink. The words. Take care of him, won’t you?

Nikolai huffed sharply, his chin ducking as if to hide the flicker of amusement that touched his lips for the briefest second. He watched the raven vanish into the sky in a swirl of smoke and feather, the last of Lorcan’s presence trailing behind him like a smirk.

“He’s gone,” he confirmed dryly when Sadie asked, his voice still edged with the ghost of a laugh.

She didn’t wait. Of course she didn’t. She was already halfway up the steps, flushed and frantic, clearly doing her best to forget her own awkwardness. Nik watched her a moment longer than he should have, then adjusted the sack of books on his shoulder with a sigh and followed.

The house stood like a pearl nestled in a cradle of gold and crimson—trees in the full bloom of autumn circling its perimeter, their leaves dancing in the night breeze like whispers of flame. Waterfalls cascaded gently down smooth stone terraces, their music a soft, endless lullaby that filled the air. At the front of the villa, a wide, still pool of crystalline water reflected the moonlight like glass, its edges kissed by mist.

The villa itself rose three stories tall, pristine white and carved with delicate detail. Arched windows lined the facade, their frames wrapped in flowering vines that glowed faintly under the stars. The voile curtains billowed softly in the night air, like breath—weightless and slow-moving, as if the house itself exhaled peace. Light flickered within, gentle and golden, like the warmth of a hearth untouched by smoke or ash.

It was grandeur without ostentation. Luxury without arrogance. A stark contrast to the looming darkness of his home in the Winter Court. Where Nikolai’s manor was carved from shadow and silence, this place was built of sky and stillness.

As they stepped inside, the change was immediate—palpable. The air was warm, fresh with the scent of lavender and something faintly citrus. Everything was light. Soft. The decor minimal and intentionally placed—plush seating in creams and blushes, pale woods, high ceilings, and no sharp corners. No armour hung on the walls. No dark tapestries weighed the rooms down. It felt like a place made for breath, for softness. For healing.

Even the silence inside was different. Not hollow, not oppressive. Just…quiet. Gentle.

The floor beneath their feet was pale marble, veined with silver. A staircase curved gracefully to the next floor, its banister wrapped in vines that looked too perfect to be real. Somewhere, deeper in the house, water trickled faintly—another fountain, perhaps, or a stream that wound through the floor like a secret.

And through it all, the moonlight streamed in from every arched window, catching on glass and silk and polished stone, casting dappled patterns on the walls and illuminating the faintest shimmer of magic that laced the air.

It was beautiful.

And completely, irrevocably not his.

But it was hers now.

And maybe that made it bearable.

 

[Sadie]

She hadn't realized how long she had been holding her breath for until her foot hit the last step and gentle wind brushed over her bare shoulders. She looked up then, not at Nikolai, not at the house, but at the quiet haven that surrounded what was his. Given to him by a friend whose life he saved. This was a different Nikolai than she had met months ago.

Gods, this place was stunning.

Autumn trees rustled quietly like soft sighs all around her, branches heavy with golden, orange, red, and yellow leaves. A breeze carried their scent all the way up here- earthy and sweet, spicy, warm, and safe. The grass under her feet, where stone became scarce after the had veered off path, was deep green, soft and carefully manicured, but still so uncurated and natural with the wild flowers and leaves falling on it.

She wandered from the pathway and found herself at the edge of one of the shimmering pools.

"I bet it looks even more beautiful in the daylight." She commented absently, kneeling down beside it.

The water was perfectly still, and in it, her reflection greeted her- eyes wide rimmed and red, her cheeks flushed from travel and embarrassment, cheeks hollow from too many nights refusing herself food or sleep. Her hair, dark brown waves once brushed with care and styled, fell limply around her face, tangled and windblown. Her nightdress...stolen...floated around her like a mist. Light. Pale. Innocent.

It was all so...out of place.

She looked like she didn't belong here. Not in a land of silk and light and the sacred quiet that flooded this place. Not with dirt and blood still caked underneath her fingernails. Sadie's throat tightened. "I look awful." She whispered to the pool, her voice raw and unsure. Of course it didn't answer back, but it didn't need to anyway.

For the first time in what felt like forever, there was nothing pressing in on her. No eyes that knew more of the truth about herself than she did watching her. No chains. No threats of the darkness clawing at her every breath. She wasn't locked in anywhere. She wasn't running. She wasn't pretending she was unbothered or unharmed or anything else.

She was here. And she could breathe.

Sadie inhaled slowly, a soft tremble to her chest as tears burned at the edges of her vision, gathering up behind her eyes like a storm ready to burst free. Her lip quivered and she bit it.

She tried to stop it. Really, she tried.

She bit the inside of her cheek and blinked hard, fisting her hands in the grass before her.

But the weight of everything- weeks, months, the nights, the pain, the fear, the nightmares, him, it pressed in all at once and a sob broke through her chest before she could stop it. And then another came. And another. And then she was on her knees beside the pool, arms wrapping tightly around herself, tears sliding freely down her cheeks as she bowed her head and cried.

Silently at first.

And then, not.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai had followed her in silence, the sack of books still slung over his shoulder like it weighed nothing, though it somehow felt heavier now. He didn't rush. He never did. But his steps slowed the moment she veered from the path.

She wandered, quiet and barefoot through the grass, and he let her—watched her, even as something strange and tight curled in his chest. He didn’t recognise the feeling, didn’t care to name it.

She stopped at the edge of the pool, and he paused, just out of reach, the cool night air brushing his face and tugging at his shirt. He could see the curve of her back, the slope of her shoulders, the trembling in her arms as she knelt.

And then—That sound.

It caught him off guard. A fragile, broken thing tearing through the quiet like a blade. Her sob. Raw and sudden and utterly real. He froze. One foot forward, and then still.

He wasn’t good with this. With feelings. With people. Pain, yes. Rage, better. But sadness? Grief? The sound of someone cracking open at the seams in front of him?

That was harder.

He told himself to stay back. Told himself this wasn’t his place. That she probably didn’t want him to see this—didn’t want him anywhere near her.

But his feet moved anyway.

Heavy steps across the grass until he loomed over her, silent, uncertain. She didn’t look up. Didn’t even flinch. Just held herself tight like she was the only thing holding her together.

Slowly—hesitantly—he lowered to one knee beside her. He reached out. Fingers brushing through her tangled hair with a gentleness he didn’t know he still possessed. Pushed the strands back from her face and cupped her cheek, thumb catching the edge of a tear as if it burned.

“Hey…” His voice was rough. Low. Like gravel dragged over velvet. He tilted her face up—just enough.

“You’re safe here,” he said, quieter now. “I’m not… This isn’t a prison. You can go anywhere you like. I won’t stop you.” He paused, frowning slightly. His thumb brushed along her cheek again, almost as if it had a mind of its own.

“This house is yours, Ilith…” The word was soft. Almost reverent. His hand lingered for a second longer than necessary. Then he stood.

The shadows seemed to cling to him again the moment he straightened. Taller. Colder. But he looked down at her, jaw tight, violet eyes unreadable.

And he stayed.

Just in case.

 

[Sadie]

Her sobs twisted into something worse. It wasn't just crying now. It was heaving, hiccupping, body-wracking sobs that she couldn't contain, couldn't make sense of. Her chest tightened like it was caving in, like someone had wrapped those ancient chains around her lungs and yanked them tighter and tighter until she couldn't draw a breath.

And when he knelt beside her, she didn't look at him. She couldn't even acknowledge him when his fingers ghosted through her hair, so careful and heartbreakingly gentle that it made her cry harder. Not out of fear or even sadness. She didn't know why she was crying. Not really. Maybe it had been for everything that still remained unspoken. For the moments of silence where she had needed someone and found no one. For the pain she had been tucking away into quiet places too small to hold it all. Or maybe it was the relief she didn't know she needed that came crashing in like a wave.

But when Nikolai touched her cheek, her tear-streaked face tilted up and her eyes found his. For once, she didn't flinch at his icy touch.

She just stared at him, violet eyes rimmed in red and lips parted, trembling. His voice broke through her haze with a word.

Safe.

He told her she was safe. That she could go wherever. That this place wasn't a prison. It was hers.

That name came again, Ilith. Softly this time. It did something to her, twisted around something fragile in her chest. And then he stood and warmth flooded where his hand had been on her face. She longed for the cold the moment it vanished. She sucked in a breath, still hiccupping between broken sobs. And finally, she spoke.

"I know you aren't keeping me prisoner, Nikolai." Her voice was raw, frayed around the edges and broken up by a quiet sob or sniffle. "I know that..." She inhaled again, shaking, and fixed her gaze on the water's still surface. On her own reflection that made her ache.

"This is the first time in....in so long...that I haven't felt trapped...and I don't..." Her voice broke and she swallowed hard. "I don't know what to do with that." She let out a broken, pathetic, almost-laugh and looked over to the house. "It's not mine. This home...I know that, too. It was a gift for you, not me. You don't owe me anything, Nikolai. You don't have to...to take care of me." She knew that, too. Knew so much, but had no clue what to do with herself.

But even as she said it, she curled into herself, arms wrapping tightly around her ribs again. And the sobs came back. Soft and miserable until that was all she had left. Crying. Still crying. Pouring out everything she had never allowed herself to feel.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai didn’t move.

The sobs were different now—more violent, like something was breaking loose inside her, tearing free from the corners where it had been shoved and ignored for far too long. It was the kind of crying that dragged the soul out of a person.

And gods help him, he didn’t know what the fuck to do with it. Except, listen.

Then she said his name, spoke it through those shuddering breaths, and it curled around his ribs and stuck.
It wasn't spoken with fear, not with rage or command. Not the way it had so often been weaponised in the past. But soft. Vulnerable. He hadn’t heard it like that in centuries.

And for one strange, stilled second, he was nowhere near this place. He was somewhere else enturely, his mother’s voice in his ears, lilting and warm, whispering his name like it meant something. Like he meant something.

He blinked himself out of his thoughts and frowned. His jaw tightened with a soft click as he inhaled through his nose, drawing himself back to the present. He let his quiet linger, gave her space to speak even as each broken word tugged at something brittle beneath his ribs. She hadn't flinched at his touch, hadn't pulled away from his cold, and somehow that made it worse.

A sigh escaped him, slow and shallow, and a faint, crooked smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth—tired and humourless.

“I wouldn’t know what to do with it either.. I'd probably lose my fucking mind.”

He shrugged, slow and casual, but there was tension still in his shoulders. His eyes lingered on her, her reflection flickering in the glassy surface of the pool like a ghost caught between worlds. She looked like she was trying to hold herself together with nothing but threads and breath.

So he said it again, quieter this time. No smirk now. Just truth. “It’s yours.” She hadn’t looked at him, but he said it like it mattered that she heard. Fae gifts were not a thing to be taken lightly, he knew, but he would not hold her to payment for this one.

“I didn’t want it. I only accepted the offer just now—for you.” He rubbed a hand over his jaw, briefly looking away. “This is the safest place I’ve got. At least until I’ve dealt with a few... things.”

The pause was pointed. He didn't elaborate. He didn’t need to.

“I know I don’t need to take care of you,” he muttered. “I didn’t say I was. You needed somewhere safe. I had it. I gave it to you. It’s not a big deal.”

His jaw clenched again as he looked at her. And for a long moment, he didn’t say anything.

Didn’t move. But his eyes—cold, violet, unreadable—stayed on her. Watching. Waiting. Just... there. Like a shadow that refused to leave.

 

[Sadie]

He had let her cry, let her fall apart as she needed to. And then Sadie's body sagged from the weight of it all, her arms loosened around herself and her forehead dropped to her knees like her body was finally giving out from everything that had happened. But even like this, collapsed beside the still water with tears drying, leaving streaks down her face, she looked ready to snap at the slightest wrong word. Fragile but sharp edged. Her soul stretched far too thin.

But there was something Nikolai said that caught her attention. Something that made her heart race from fear, perhaps. Talk of the safest place he's got until he's dealt with a few things.

She lifted her head slowly, unsteady, like the words alone had picked her back up from where she had crumbled. The rawness of her emotions was impossible to hide. Her face was blotchy and red, lashes wet, her mouth parted just enough to pull in a shaky breath.

It hit her, the pause after his words. The way he had said them. Made her stomach drop like a stone.

Sadie stared at him, eyes wide with panic flooding her hollow bones faster than anything else could have. Because suddenly none of this felt safe at all.

"Wait..." Her voice barely made it out. It was soft and hoarse, but grew stronger and sharp with disbelief. Fear again.

"Are you leaving me here?" It wasn't an accusation.

It wasn't anger.

It was terror.

She sat up straighter, hands fisting tightly in the fabric of her nightdress.

"Alone?"

Her voice broke on that word.

 

[Nikolai]

Nikolai stiffened as soon as he saw the panic bloom in her eyes. It wasn’t just a flinch—it was raw and soul-deep, the kind that wrapped around the throat and strangled without warning. And by fuck it caught him off guard so badly he almost took a step back from it.

She looked like she was about to break all over again. Not from grief this time, but from him. As if the very idea of being left here had shattered whatever fragile safety she’d managed to build around herself in the last few minutes. And for a heartbeat, he said nothing. Just stared at her, brow furrowing like he was trying to work out what exactly had gone wrong.

You’re safe, he’d said. And now she was looking at him like he’d just promised to abandon her.

“I…” he started, then stopped. He let out a breath, sharp and unsure, and glanced away with a frown knitting his brow.

“You’re hardly alone,” he murmured, but the words didn’t come out with confidence. Just tiredness. Confusion. “There’s an island full of people.” He gave a short, awkward laugh—one without any warmth behind it—as though it might soften what he was about to say.

“I’ll stay until you’re settled. But then—yes. I need to leave. At least for a while.”

There it was. Simple. Honest. It shouldn’t have felt like a betrayal. But the way she looked at him made something in his chest twist. Unfamiliar. Uncomfortable. The kind of feeling he had spent a long time avoiding.

He drew in a slow breath and tried to steel himself against it. Against her. “You don’t need me to look after you,” he reminded gently, echoing her own words. “Like you said.”

But even as he said it, there was something off in his voice. Something strained. Like he was trying to convince himself of it as much as her. He dipped his chin, eyes unreadable, and extended a pale hand toward her.

“Now come on inside,” he said, quieter now. “You’re cold.”

 

[Sadie]

Sadie's bloodshot eyes darted over his face, looked over every line, every unreadable expression, desperate to find some kind of softness there, some reassurance. Some sign that maybe he didn't mean it. That maybe he wouldn't really leave her here. Alone.

But she found none. Of course she didn't. Why would she?

She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, sharp enough that she tasted iron on her tongue. She used it to anchor herself, to stop herself from breaking down more like some pathetic, trembling thing all over again.

An island full of people? That wasn't comforting. Not to someone like her.

An island full of strangers was just a larger version of every place she had ever known. Surrounded by faces, by people who didn't want her. Who didn't trust her. Who didn't care if she lived or died. And the ones who did care? Well Eluin had cared...somewhat. He'd taken her in, under his wing. And look where that had gotten her.

And Nikolai had a point. She had said he didn't have to look after her. But hearing it tossed back at her felt like swallowing glass. She forced herself to stand at his command, her bones feeling far too brittle beneath her moonkissed skin. She nodded once, stiff and small. Accepting it.

Pretending she could accept it.

"Where.." She stumbled over her words, failing to force her racing heart to slow. "Where are you going?" She didn't look at him as she passed him, ascending the steps into the home that was too perfect. Too unreal. And gods, it was as beautiful inside as it was outside.

She slowed in the doorway, steps faltering just enough for her to drink in the sight. Just long enough to realize how utterly out of place this filthy girl was amongst the perfection. It was nothing like the heavy stone of Nikolai's manor. Nothing like the creaking, discolored and rotten wood of her own crumbling home- where walls let the cold in at night and the air always smelled of mold.

Here, the air was warm. Alive.

Moonlight poured through massive arched windows in every room, spilling silver across pale floors. The ceilings were high, stretching overhead with colorful, delicate glass lanterns that cast soft pools of light across the open archways and wide spiraling staircase.

There were no locked doors. No chains. No heavy shadows pressing in on her like a second skin. It was airy, open. It told her to breathe easy, but she didn't. Her feet dragged across the smooth floor, padding silently through a home made of dreams all for a man who had saved his friend. But her pulse thrummed louder with each step when she realized there were far too many windows. Too much sunlight would come pouring in. Sunlight which would kill Nikolai...

She paused halfway down the hallway and turned her head, voice raw with a question- a stupid question- sitting like a stone in her throat.

"Where do you even sleep?" she asked him quietly. Did he even sleep? She wondered. Where did someone like Nikolai, someone born of shadow and blood, belong in a place like this?

 

[Nikolai]

A muscle feathered in his jaw as he scented that tiny drop of her blood, his eyes narrowing on the way she chewed on the inside of her cheek, but he didn't comment.

He didn’t look at the house, either. Not really.

His eyes followed her instead—watched the stiffness in her shoulders, the way her feet moved hesitantly across the polished floor, how she looked like she was waiting for someone to tell her she didn’t belong here. Like she might turn around and bolt if he breathed wrong.

The house was beautiful. Open. Light. Serene. And she looked like a ghost wandering through it.

He set her books down gently on the nearest table, his fingers lingering a moment too long on the worn covers. Then he leaned against the edge, arms folding across his chest as he let the silence stretch between them.

Only when she paused and asked her quiet, cracked little question did he glance toward the windows, and then down the hallway like he was only just remembering where they were.

“The basement, apparently…” he rumbled, his voice low, almost amused—but only almost. He didn’t sound like he minded.

Then, after a beat, he added more quietly—less carelessly, and with none of the softness she’d been searching his face for outside..

“And I’m going back to see Eluin." He said it plainly. No apology. No sugarcoating. His jaw shifted slightly as he studied her expression, his arms tightening just a little across his chest.

“And find out who else knows about you.. And then I’m going to go see them, too.”

He said it the way someone might say they were going to war. Matter-of-fact. Measured. Inevitable. He didn’t raise his voice or puff his chest. He didn’t have to.

Because for all the calm in his tone, there was something in his eyes—dark and ancient and cold—that spoke of violence yet to come. That was where he belonged. Not here. Not in this dream-house filled with sunlit rooms and soft lanterns.

He belonged in the dark.

Nikolai didn't wait for any argument from Sadie. He didn’t look back as he wandered along the corridor, following a subtle change in the air—cooler, denser. Older. It led him to a narrow spiral staircase tucked behind a curved wall of carved wood and ivy-veined stone.

He descended.

Down.

And further down.

The air changed again. Not stagnant, not musty as one might expect from a place buried beneath the earth, but still. Steady. Calming, in a strange way—like descending into the hollow of a tree or the belly of some slumbering creature.

It should’ve been pitch black. But it wasn’t. A hearth burned low and steady at the base of the stairwell, casting flickering amber light across smooth floors. Around the room, delicate orbs of fae-light hovered gently in the air, drifting lazily like they had all the time in the world. They glowed softly in hues of golden sunlight, shedding enough illumination to reveal the basement was no simple room at all.

It spanned the full breadth of the house above it, stretching wide and open in all directions. The ceiling arched high overhead, ribbed with dark timber beams etched with curling runes. A sitting area rested at the heart of the space, complete with overstuffed chairs, bookshelves carved directly into the stone, and heavy rugs patterned with starlight and forest leaves.

But it was the bed that drew the eye.

A grand staircase rose gently from the living space and led to a dais, slightly elevated and ringed with low, glimmering candles. The bed sat atop it like a throne. Its frame was made of twisted darkwood and antler, shaped like growing vines frozen in time. The headboard arched in elegant peaks, carved with ancient script and inlaid with shimmering crystal veins. Heavy, silken drapes in deep midnight hues spilled from a canopy above, tied back with strands of silver thread.

Pillows. Layers of them, scattered across a mattress that looked impossibly soft, piled high with dark fur throws and pale linens that glowed faintly under the fae-lights, as though moonlight lived in the weave.

It was beautiful.

But not delicate.

It was unmistakably his. Tamed only slightly by the warmth of the hearth and the careful touches someone else had placed here, someone who had made a space for the monster in the dark.

Nikolai stepped off the last stair and took it in with a breath.

This would do.

 

[Sadie]

Sadie stood there, frozen, in the quiet corridor long after Nikolai had dropped her books and vanished down the stairs. The echo of his words still rattled her bones, rang in her ears. Going back to Eluin. To the people who know what she barely even understood about herself. He was going to kill them before they could find her.

Her stomach twisted, nausea curling hot and sour beneath her ribs. Not just from the idea of Eluin, but from the reckless, stupid fucking death wish Nikolai seemed to be carrying around like a second shadow.

"You're going to get yourself killed." She whispered into the empty hallway. Her words weren't angry. Weren't scolding. It was small. Raw. But he was already gone. And Sadie was here. Alone.

Her eyes dropped to the sack of books abandoned at the edge of the stairs. She bent, grabbing the strap, and slung it over her shoulder with more determination than the strength in her frail body. The weight of it was like a tether against the sudden, floaty feeling in her limbs.

This house was too beautiful. Far, far too beautiful for someone like her.

She wandered through it. Quiet, bare feet padded through halls and rooms she could barely comprehend. There was a kitchen so grand it could have been plucked straight from a palace, every shelf perfectly stocked, every surface warm and inviting. There was a dining room with a great beast of a wooden table. Easily long enough to seat twenty.

A study overflowing with books- shelves carved right into stone walls. The scent of old paper and earth curled thick in the air and instantly she was hit with the memories of Eluin's study and the last time she had set foot into another room with so many texts. The night she met Nikolai.

She left quickly and approached two heavy doors. She pushed them open to reveal a sunroom that spilled into an attached greenhouse that glowed faintly under the moonlight. Vines trailed from the ceiling and down the walls. She paused in the doorway, hesitating a moment before stepping through the threshold knowing full well that Nikolai would never walk this space in the daylight. It was so...bright. Alive. Too alive for him.

She reached into her bag, carefully pulling free the bundle of Ilithoré she had snatched from his gardens before they made it out. She hadn't even known why she did it at the time. Instinct maybe. Some foolish part of her wanting to keep a piece of the place she thought she'd die in.

She hung the flowers to dry on an iron hook near the window. Then, after a long moment of staring at the door, she left the greenhouse and locked the door behind her with a key she'd found on a worktable. She continued through the house. Upstairs, she found what could only be her room. Pristine. Perfect. Sterile.

A white bed with impossibly soft blankets, windows spilling moonlight across polished floors. It was beautiful in a way that made her chest ache. But it wasn't hers. It wasn't home. It wasn't anything to her.

She stood in the doorway for a long time, hands curling and uncurling at her sides, wings drooping like tired, forgotten things, before she finally turned and padded down the grand staircase. The faint flow of the hearth was the only thing guiding her.

And there, at the bottom, was Nikolai. A creature carved from winter and shadow was sprawled in the curve of the sofa like a weapon laid to rest. Even in sleep he looked dangerous. Uneasy. But it answered the question she had asked in her head. He could sleep. Sadie hovered at the edge of the room for a little too long and then without a word, she moved.

She didn't dare go near him, didn't dare lay in that ridiculous bed at the top of the dais. Gods, no. Not when the floor felt safer. She spotted a blanket, one of many excessive blankets on that excessive bed, and quiet as a mouse, she snatched it along with a pillow. Beside the bed, hidden by its enormous frame, she curled herself into a small shape. Near him

Not too close, but near enough.

Where the shadows felt familiar.

Where she didn't have to be alone.

She didn't look at him again. As she curled beneath the blanket, pulling it tight over her wings, her body finally began to settle. For tonight, at least, she wouldn't be alone.