Journal Sister Lavinia Montacute's Journal of Prayers

[Lavinia Montacute]

O great Sunfather, I come to you with a weary heart. Everywhere I turn, I see your people's minds corrupt with greed, pride, vanity, and envy, rather than full of your light and love. I confess that I too have had my pride wounded in your service and that I envy your Priests and Priestess of the Solar Choir. I have lied, and pretended, convincing myself that I was doing it all in your name, when really I was doing it for myself. Do not let me fall as so many others have, instead lift me up with your blessings and help me to see your light in all things. I ask for your forgiveness not only for myself, but for all those who have failed you or strayed from your path. I pray that wrath does not consume me, and that I can be your heavenly example of light on earth.

Mother Francesa punished me for speaking out of turn. I had merely proclaimed Sister Cristina vain for taking great care in her outward appearance, rather than her inward appearance. "You self-righteous pig! Just because you were born with beauty does not give you any right to berate me on my sins," she had screamed.

"The Sunfather blesses as he wills, and he wills us not to focus on mortal matters such as outward physical beauty. It is the beauty of the soul that matters," I had replied, doing my very best to stay calm and not snap at her like she so easily sank to the temptation to snap at me.

Mother Francesca decided it best to punish both of us, and would not let us pray at the grand altar in the center of the abadía to call on your blessings. Since the incident I have made peace with it, and, Lord of Light, I ask you to bless Sister Cristina with your presence, so that she might be enlightened to your calling and her sould beautified.

I also must admit Sister Cristina's insult struck home. Was it out of my place to declare such things of her? I have no right to call her out for her sins, since I have sinned just as much if not more. It was on this that Mother Francesca delivered her sermon. She did not mention my name or Sister Cristina's, but those who had witnessed the incident gave us furtive glances.

I do feel that vanity is perhaps the most prominent sin among your people, alongside pride. We have grown to confident in our abilities and power has caused us to lose sight of what is truly important.

Blessed Lord of Light, I ask for your forgiveness for your people.

 

[Lavinia Montacute]

O great Sunfather, where have you gone? You have left us in darkness, with hardly any warning. The only light now comes from the red glow of the moons and the silver glow of the stars. Where is your warm, golden light? I wonder if this is naught but another challenge from you; that we must be your warm, golden light in such a dark world. Perhaps this is the true state of the world without your interference, without your marvelous and illuminating love.

Your cathedral is abuzz with what's happening. Magic, both inherent and divine, is acting up. I can no longer rely on the fire you have blessed me with, or the strength I receive from worshiping you. Ships have been lost at sea, and I have heard reports from coastal villages that strange creatures have washed up on shore. Unidentified and strange creatures from the depths of your oceans.

I ask you for guidance, Lord, and I ask for light, in this time of darkness. The first day of darkness we burned through a good bit of our supply of candles and lanterns and such, and now we must ration light- there are always shadows waiting around each corner. What dark ages are we in, in which we must ration light? Help me to light the world from within, in this time of darkness.

Blessed Lord of Light, I ask for your guidance for your people.