Private Tales Shadows of the Absent

[Bliss]

Her dormitory room, thankfully, was tidy. She was lucky enough to secure a single room, to not share space with another as she had in the past 3 years. Her bed was made, the books and parchment pieces were in neat piles upon the small table she had. Even the wardrobe that had it's doors wide open showed off an organised affair.

Bliss cleared the throat and stood to the side to let in Calixtus. He had been to her door before, plenty of times, but each time she hid her room. It wasn't always this tidy.

"Get in." Her hand grabbed his arm and hurried him inside. The door opposite from her own opened and Bliss gave a smile to Owen. "Afternoon. Bye." And she shut her door on the mildly confused face of her neighbour.

Bliss leaned against the back of her door and stared at Calixtus.

"You would tell other people to not believe any rumours, right?" Of course he would. He was a Blodwyn, and her family were lower on the merchant families hierarchy. Pushing from the door, Bliss crossed to the space upon her rug that was clear. She sat down, opening the book she had borrowed unofficially from the library and began to carefully flick through it's pages. "Flattering as it would be, I do not have time to entertain such gossip." She reasoned.

 

[Calixtus]

Calixtus entered without hesitation, though his eyes swept the room with the sharp, cataloguing attention of someone accustomed to reading spaces as easily as faces.

The neatness seemed to surprise him; he had expected clutter, books stacked in unstable towers, half-finished notes, perhaps a forgotten teacup. Instead, everything was… precise.

The moment Owen appeared, Bliss all but shoved him inside. Calixtus raised a brow but stayed silent. Only when the door clicked shut and Bliss leaned against it did he look back at her fully.

Her question, however, earned a slow blink.

"I do not often care what students whisper. Nor do I waste my breath correcting every ridiculous assumption they cling to."

He moved closer to her chosen spot on the rug but remained standing for a moment, arms folding loosely.

"If anything, the rumour serves us. It gives you a reason to be seen with me today. And if it keeps prying eyes from asking questions…"

He tilted his head ever so slightly.

"Then let them think I am the object of your sudden and overwhelming affection."

That faint smirk appeared again. The one he wore when he knew precisely what he was doing.

"Perhaps I wouldn't mind such a rumour," he said. "Yes, quite, perhaps I should stoke this instead. Unless you can convince me otherwise?"

 

[Bliss]

Bliss stared up at him as if he had suddenly grown an even larger head that grew without any more air being blown into him. She snorted before it rolled into a laugh. Shaking her head at him, she watched him long enough to see that crooked lip of a smirk. "Oh, you were being serious?"

She scrambled to her feet, scowling at him. "What if I don't want people to think that I fancy you?" Her own folded arms were rigid, defiant. "You aren't simply... my type."

Her cheeks flamed. This was ridiculous to even think about, and even worse that she was having it with Calixtus of all people.

She knew that it did not matter in the end. Despite her not wishing to be seen or known she was tutoring him at the start, students still saw them. Even Maester Blodwyn made it slip once before. There came a time she began acknowledging it to keep from people thinking they were spending time together for any other reason.

Yet that truth never stopped some of her peers from badgering her about romantic intentions she or Calixtus had for each other.

"We could admit we are friends that like to hang out. I can't convince people to think I am in love with you!" She laughed derisively, but it came out weak.

 

[Calixtus]

Calixtus regarded her for a long moment, head tilting slightly as though he were reassessing a puzzle piece that stubbornly refused to fit the expected pattern.

Her laugh, weak as it was, did not escape him. Nor did the heat in her cheeks.
He straightened his cuffs, a familiar grounding habit, before looking back at her with a steadier gaze. He didn't know why but the phrase not my type caught him off guard.

"As for being your type," he continued, a faint edge of dry humour returning, "I find that observation largely irrelevant. Attraction is not required for rumours to thrive. Proximity and convenience are quite enough."

He stepped back, deliberately giving her space, as though to underline his point.

"Friends who like to hang out does not explain late hours, secrecy, or borrowed books wrapped in pink covers," he added mildly. "It invites questions. Questions we do not have time for."

"For example..."

Even in the circumstances with his missing brother, he managed to smile.

He turned and grabbed the edge of her headboard.

"Oh bliss!" he called out as he started to thump it against the wall. "Not...so...ungh...fast!"

 

[Bliss]

Bliss felt the blood drain from her as Calixtus made quite the racket. Anger boiled inside her once he raised his voice. She launched at him, wanting to wipe that smile away from his stupid face. "You...!" She seethed, pulling at his arm to try and tear it from the headboard but he held impressive grip.

She only made the situation worse.

Bliss added to the noise, her grunts and growls of frustration to pull him away from her bed of all places. "Stop it!" She hissed.

She hated that he was right. No matter what walls she began to build, he only repurposed the bricks to throw at her glass windows.

Her fists curled around his arm and one at his chest, wrinkling the shirt he wore. Defiant blue eyes stared up at him. "You're an idiot." Her tongue could not produce anything else more scathing.

 

[Calixtus]

For all his composure, Calixtus had not accounted for Bliss launching herself at him with such single minded fury.

Her grip was stronger than he expected. The sudden weight against his chest, the sharp pull at his arm, the bed frame protesting beneath them all combined into a perfect loss of balance. His hand slipped from the headboard.

The world lurched.

They went down together.

The mattress caught them with a soft thump that felt obscenely loud in the quiet room. Calixtus landed half sprawled across her, one arm braced beside her head, the other still caught in her grip. The bed gave another traitorous creak and then stilled.

For a heartbeat, neither of them moved.

He was painfully aware of everything. The warmth of her beneath him. The way her breath hitched. The faint scent of parchment and herbs clinging to her hair. Her hands still fisted in his shirt, close enough that he could feel the heat of her palms through the fabric.

Slowly, very carefully, Calixtus looked down at her.

Her blue eyes were wide, defiant moments ago, now frozen in something closer to shock. Her face was flushed, not with anger alone.

His own breath had gone strangely shallow.

"That did not...help," he murmured before he could stop himself. The humour was gone from his voice, replaced with something quieter. Something uncertain.

Realising the position they were in, he stiffened. His ears burned.

The faintest pause followed, then more quietly,

"Are you hurt?"

 

[Bliss]

She should feel embarassed, to have lunged at him with unsure footing or even that last, desperate yank of him that he stumbled. Bliss was winded the moment he landed on her, but was quick to push himself up to look down at her.

Her scowl was quiet and menacing.

Because the moment his voice softened, and he asked how she fared, she was staring into his eyes that looked to her un equal softness. He was pretty. He was unfairly handsome, and with all her might she wanted to deny it all. Bliss had focused on her studies, focused on herself and becoming a Maester that she didn't take time to have fun or deviate from her plan.

Her scowl withered, replaced by somethind sad. Her brows furrowed.

"I..."

It was hard. It was hard to remain indifferent to him, to fight against even the suggestion of faking their affection for one another. Shr wondered what it would be like, to be seen on the arm of Calixtus.

And yet, there were things left to be done.

Bliss cleared her throat. "We should... get back to our work. Find the spell and use your blood to track your brother." She made no move to push him off her, knowing she would miss the press of him. He was a warmth she never felt before, and she was seldom to let it go now.

 

[Calixtus]

Calixtus should have moved.

Every sensible instinct told him to pull back, to give her space, to let the moment pass and return to the problem that had brought him here in the first place.

Instead, he remained where he was. He hovered just above her, caught by the way her expression shifted.

The scowl faded. Something softer took its place, something unguarded.

He saw the hesitation in her eyes, the conflict she tried and failed to hide. It struck him then how close they were, how little separated them beyond his own restraint.

Her warmth seeped through the space between them, steady and real.

When she spoke of returning to their work, of blood and spells and duty, he almost smiled. Almost.

"You always do that," he said quietly. "Run back to what you understand."

Before she could reply, before she could retreat behind reason or resolve, he leaned down. It was not rushed, nor particularly bold.

Their lips met.

The kiss was brief, uncertain, and warm in a way that stole the breath from him. A mistake, perhaps. A lapse.

But it was already done by the time he realised his hand had curled into the blanket beside her, steadying himself.

He pulled back just enough to look at her again, his forehead still close to hers. Whatever confidence he usually carried was gone, replaced by something dangerously honest.

"I am aware," he murmured, voice lower now, "that this could complicates things."

A pause.

"But perhaps pretending it doesn't is better than pretending we don't want it right now."

 

[Bliss]

Don't do it. It was all she could think of the moment his head dipped lower and lower. Don't do it.

But Bliss stayed. She let out a small gasp as his lips met her own, and her lashes fluttered as she watched his eyes close. It was something that lingered, as if he was not sure if this had been a good idea to begin with.

Her stomach was doing somersaults.

Her heart grew erratic with rhythm.

Bliss did not want to be involved with him like that... but this kiss was growing on her. Her lips tingled, as it often would with a first kiss. She liked it. Perhaps it was soft... because Calixtus needed this comfort.

And when he pulled away, her eyes opened to see him with a strange look.

What would it mean if she was being courted by him? It would not last, she knew. The Blodwyns were prestigious in Elbion society, and she hailed from a family that worked with stone. She had aspirations, his own brother idolised by her in terms of wanting to achieve such great efforts to the arcane study.

She began to ask herself why did she care?  Why could she not accept something to simple as he had just said?

Well... at least she cared.

"Calixtus..." Even the sound of his name on her lips felt like an admission. "I worked hard to get where I am... I cannot help but think if we ever became... anything... I feel as if no one will see me for the dedication I have held for so long." She bit her lip, keeping an unwavering stare into his own gaze. "If you just... need to be comforted right now. I understand that... but I don't..."

Her hand still grasped the front of his shirt. A small tug, that was all she needed to bring his face back closer to her.

Just this once.

 

[Calixtus]

He listened. He often afforded people token attention when they spoke to him. He was hardly thinking clearly in the moment.

But with a quiet stillness in the room he listened. Ambition, legacy, the weight of being seen as more than a name or a novelty. He knew those pressures intimately.

It was perhaps the only language that could resonate with him.

Her tug on his shirt drew him closer again, close enough that her breath brushed his cheek.

"This is not about comfort alone," he added, quieter still. "Though I would be lying if I said I did not need it."

Just this once.

He closed the distance again, kissing her a second time. This one was less uncertain, shaped by the tension they had both been pretending did not exist. It was desperate.

When he finally drew back, his forehead rested briefly against hers, breath unsteady.

"Whatever this is," he murmured, "it does not diminish you. But you will need to be quiet," he warned as his hand went for the hem of her tunic.

 

[Bliss]

She stiffened, but Calixtus moved slowly with her. He gave her time to shoot him down, and that she appreciated, but... curiosity made her feel strangely. Flattering, that Calixtus sought her out to help him find his brother. That he wanted this with her...

"Just this once." She voiced the thought that kept running in her mind. "It does not need to... be anything."

Bliss was struck by how someone could look to her the way he did now. With softness and slowly unfurling vulnerability... it was why she knew she could be the same now. This version of them both was nothing known or old. It was new and unsettling, but it was safe to explore that side here.

"You still get on my nerves." Bliss blurted before pulling him back in for another kiss. She was learning to navigate them slowly, and by the instruction of his lips, she began to meet his rhythm. A kiss was new, a kiss spurred on emotions she never felt. Bliss figured this was how it always worked. She accepted this, was open to the distraction this would give, although her nagging need to get back to the task at hand kept nagging at her. "Can we at least do the spell first? It will need time to work... and while we wait..."

This time, her hand flattened against his chest and pushed him up so she could see him.

 

[Calixtus]

"The spell...first..."

Calixtus looked down at her incredulously. Bliss Gradimir was caught in the throes of passion. She was giving in to an itch that needed to be scratched.

And she was scheduling it in around magic.

"Fine," he said.

He was rarely so short of words. Calixtus moved away. His hands did not. As she started to draw herself back up, fingertips traced a long, exploratory lined down from the corner of her jaw.

"The book is on the floor," he told her.

 

[Bliss]

Bliss knew her cheeks were bright red. She was not sure if it was his fingers trailing at her neck or the looming event of them...

She cleared her throat. "Right... well..." Getting up from her bed made the wood creak, and she crossed the few steps to the book on the rug and came to kneel. "I need the map and your blood."

Rustling came, and from underneath her bed, rattling against boxes before shooting out to unfurl and lay flat on the rug beside her. The map showed Elbion and the land surrounding, reaching the Empire and the Anirian Territories. The Savannah crept in too, where Bliss placed the book and began looking for the page. The chapter on stars and orientation, she recalled, had a spell of tracking. It's earliest days had been used to help create star charts.

"Here." She beamed, glad to have found it and turned to look up at Calixtus with bright eyes. "You're next." She patted the space beside her, inviting him to join.

 

[Calixtus]

Calixtus watched her rise from the bed with that telltale flush staining her cheeks. It was delightful, really, how easily she betrayed herself.

He permitted a slow, appreciative smirk to curve his lips as she knelt on the rug. The way she bent forward to retrieve whatever was needed from beneath the bed presented him with an unobstructed view of her backside, the fabric of her trousers pulling taut in a manner that drew his gaze lingeringly, unashamedly.

Exquisite, he thought, the word drifting through his mind with lazy approval. For all her determination to carve her own path which admirable, in its common way, she possessed assets that even the finest Blodwyn lineage might envy.

He moved then, with his usual deliberate grace, lowering himself to the floor beside her in a fluid motion that brought him close.

As she beamed up at him, bright-eyed and expectant, patting the space as if he required an invitation, he settled onto his knees, gloved hand brushing lightly against her thigh in the process.

"How generous of you to summon me to your level, Gradimir," he murmured.

His eyes flicked from the map to her face, then downward again as she shifted, explaining the spell. Without haste, he reached out, sliding his hand along the curve of her backside in a possessive, unhurried caress. His fingers traced the shape of her with deliberate appreciation before dipping lower, slipping between her thighs with bold intent.

His touch was firm yet teasing, a spark of challenge in the way his thumb pressed just so, testing her reaction even as his expression remained composed, one eyebrow arched in mild inquiry.

His insolent hand lingered, but he offered his left, palm up.

 

[Bliss]

His hand surprised her, but in the way he moved made her only freeze in place. She wanted to tell him not now but Bliss was sure she could ignore him. Calixtus was bold and persistent, but she did her best to continue. "Right, give me your hand."

Her eyes did not look up at him as she reached for his free one, pulling it to let the palm face upwards. A quick murmur of a spell as her finger ran across it, a not too deep cut forming and blood pooling. Her gaze watched him now. "Doesn't hurt too much?" She asked as she guided the hand to drip blood onto the map.

Once a considerable amount dripped onto the map, she placed her hand over his and murmured a spell to heal.

"You're not going to distract me from this." Bliss reached for him roaming hand from behind her, catching his wrist. "Behave." She warned lightly, but an amused smile twitched onto her lips.

 

[Calixtus]

Afaint hiss escaped him at the sting.

“Pain?” he echoed softly, voice a low drawl. “Hardly. One grows accustomed to far worse in the Blodwyn nurseries.”

His gaze held hers as the crimson drops fell onto the map, dark against parchment. He tilted his head just enough to let a strand of dark hair fall across his brow.

When she pressed her palm to his and murmured the healing incantation, the warmth of her skin against his sent a pleasant flicker through him. The cut sealed neatly, leaving only the faintest pink line. He flexed his fingers once.

That had actually stung more than he would let on.

Then came the gentle rebuke. Her hand closed around his wrist, halting the slow, possessive glide of his fingers along the curve of her backside and higher between her thighs.

Calixtus let her take his hand without resistance. One final press to draw a hiss from her lips and he placed his hand back at his side. His eyes glinted with wicked amusement at the twitch of that smile she tried to suppress.

Yes he thought to himself. This would just be scratching an itch.

“Behave?” he repeated, the word rolling off his tongue like velvet soaked in honeyed scorn.

“My dear Gradimir, you wound me. I was merely… expressing scholarly interest in the contours of your concentration.”

“Very well,” he conceded with exaggerated magnanimity, lifting his chin in that imperious way of his.

“I shall endeavor to remain the picture of decorum.” A pause, and the smirk deepened, sharp and challenging. “For now.”

His gaze flicked to the map, then back to her face, lingering on the flush that still coloured her cheeks.

“Though I confess, the sooner you locate my wayward brother, the sooner we might dispense with all this tiresome… restraint.”

He was afraid. Genuinely afraid for his brother. It was much easier now to cover it with bravado. She had seen the heart of his vulnerability.

 

[Bliss]

She felt foolish to have discouraged him, having liked the attention he paid her. Bliss turned back to the page, a finger tracing the line. An old language, one that sounded it came from the Empire, flowed effortlessly from her lips.

Without Calixtus distracting her, Bliss was able to chant her spell over and over. The blood spread, to all corners of the map before swirling about. She watched it for a minute, watching Calixtus' blood move and search.

"It will take time..." She looked to him, the pink in her cheeks returning.

Bliss stared at him again, taking in his facial features. Her hand came up to brush back the strand of hair that fell into his face. "This will work, Calixtus. We will find him, and we will return him home." She gave him a smile that promised it all.

 

[Calixtus]

Calixtus did not pull away from her touch. If anything, he leaned into it, eyes closing briefly as her fingers brushed his hair aside. The bravado he wore so easily had slipped somewhere onto the floor with the map and the blood, leaving something quieter in its place.

He exhaled, slow and steady, and looked down at the shifting red lines with a furrowed brow. The sight unsettled him.

"I know," he said at last, his voice low and sincere. "If anyone can do it, it is you."

His gaze lifted to meet hers, lingering there. The faint colour in her cheeks did not go unnoticed, nor did the way she held herself, poised between resolve and something far more fragile.

For a moment longer, he let the silence sit between them. With everything going on it took him another few seconds to realise why she had trailed off. His hand flew to the buckle of her belt. They had time.

 

[Bliss]

Her hand snapped to his reaching hand, her eyes wide as surprise filled her. "Uh..." she panicked, but did not push him away. "If we are... you know... maybe we should..."

Bliss moved and got up, desperately trying not to be awkward and yet nerves filled her. She could not help but feel as if the timing was not perfect but it felt good to be seen the way he saw her now. Not only did he appreciate her assistance on finding his brother, he also felt comfortable to show some vulnerability towards her. That sort of treatment did things to her. It made her want to be his chosen comfort.

She grimaced. "I've never... I don't know how this goes."

The back of her legs hit her bed, the small size enough to sleep one. Bliss stared at him. "Can you... just... lead me a little until I get comfortable?"

 

[Calixtus]

Her eyes found the map, to the pinpoint of blood. She froze, brow furrowing deeply. “Should we… tell someone? How are we to leave classes and leave this region?”

"We tell no one except my family," he said firmly. "Not yet."

He crouched beside the map again, studying the pulsing point with narrowed eyes.

"Raising an alarm now would only alert whoever holds him. They made it inside the college far to easily."

It would also tarnish their reputation. Something else he could not allow.

"We go ourselves. Tonight. I have a private portal key at the Blodwyn household."

It did not occur to him that Bliss would be able to make portal keys quite trivially.

"We will take a carriage and one of the family butlers."

He began gathering their scattered clothing, passing her tunic to her with deliberate care.

"You need not come," he added quietly, meeting her eyes. "This could be dangerous. But I would rather have your mind and your spells at my side than any sanctioned escort the College could provide."

A faint, crooked smile touched his lips.

"Pack light. We leave within the hour."

His gaze returned to the map, the pulsing mark a silent demand.

"Emrys is family," he said, voice softer now. "And we do not leave family behind."

 

[Bliss]

"Wait." Her hand shot out, catching his arm before he could leave the room. "I... I think we can tell one of my brothers. If you say this might be dangerous, then I would like to ask Ronan to accompany us. He attended the College about the same time as your brother..."

Ronan also excelled in magical arts of offense and defense, employed to keep enchantments thriving over Elbion. He was the eldest of the Gradimir children, and twelve years older than Bliss, but she trusted him the most.

"I like that you have faith in my ability but I am only in my fourth year of studying. There is so much more I need to learn and I would hate to do wrong... do you trust me to reach out to Ronan? Have him meet us...?"

Bliss stared up at Calixtus, a softness in her eyes. She still wanted to go, to help him, and was ready to help in whatever way she could. Her hand flexed and squeezed his bicep. "Or we could ask someone in your family."

 

[Calixtus]

Calixtus paused at the threshold, one hand already on the door latch as her fingers closed around his arm.

For a long moment he said nothing, simply studying her. There was a flush still lingering on her cheeks, the earnest worry in those wide blue eyes. This was, he reminded himself, no time for feeling weak sentiment.

"Ronan Gradimir," he repeated at last, the name measured on his tongue like a foreign vintage.

A faint, dry smile curved his lips. "Yes, I know of him. Emrys spoke highly of his skill with offensive constructs, which was rare praise from my brother."

He feigned indifference, but inside he felt a sweeping wave of relief. He didn't truly know where to even start. Ronan might.

"I do trust your abilities, Bliss," he said quietly.

"Your brother is a sensible choice. I suppose he could be useful." A pause, and the corner of his mouth twitched. "And he is family to you. I understand the impulse."

He glanced toward the window, calculating.

"Reach out to him. Tell him only what is necessary: that we have located Emrys and require immediate, quiet assistance. Have him meet us at the old eastern postern gate in two hours."

He turned away and realised he had no idea what he would even begin to pack for this trip.

---

She would find Calixtus at the gate. He was not alone. Nor had he brought the family carriage.

Harlan, one of the family butlers had joined him. He wasn't dressed in the black and silvery livery of the household staff. He wore practical travel clothes and carried a straight sword at his hip.

 

[Bliss]

"Just... who is he, again?" Ronan towered beside her, having note facial hair and bulk to him than she saw him last. Bliss groaned loudly, her bag packed of just in case items that was beginning to weigh her on her shoulders. Her eldest brother had offered to take it from her, but the straps were too small on him.

"A  friend, you arse."

"So, friend or  friend friend?" He grinned widely, not at all worries he was getting on his sister's last nerve.

Up ahead, Bliss could spy Calixtus waiting. Another stood beside him, and she wondered how this plan was going to go. Folded and tucked into the pocket of her jacket, the map with Calixtus' blood still pin pointed where they needed to go. To keep from entertaining her brother's teasing, she punched his arm before they could be over heard by Calixtus and the other man.

When she was close, she gave Calixtus an awkward smile. Something changed between them in the last few hours, and Bliss and him barely had time to talk about it. "This is my oldest brother, Ronan. We were lucky he was in the city at all today..."

Ronan messed her hair before reaching out his hand to Calixtus. "Nice to meet you, mate. I was your brother's classmate when we attended the College, so anything to help Emrys." Ronan offered his hand to the other gentleman too.

 

[Calixtus]

"Harlan," grunted the butler.

He held out one hand and offered a firm grip. His hand had the calloused palm of a fighter.

"The young master was trying to slip away with a carriage..."

Calixtus rolled his eyes.

"...and I offered to lend him some help."

"Yes, yes Harland, thank you," said Calixtus sharply.

He had missed the message between the lines for Ronan: the little idiot was trying to set out and wouldn't have made it past the next village, I'm here to keep him alive.

They had not brought a carriage but a pair of horses.

Harland waited for Calixtus to do the polite thing. He did not.

"If the lady would like to ride and take the weight of that bag off," Harland offered her the reins.

 

[Bliss]

Ronan snorted. "Oh, she cannot ride a horse. Bliss has a slight problem where she cannot sit still for long periods of time."

She scrunched her face at her brother, but her face turned sheepish as she looked to Harland. "He's not wrong. I... I get anxious when I ride and of course, the horses pick up on that."

Her brother took the reins before pulling at the bag she carried. Bliss relinquished it to him. "I can conjure a carriage if you want, Blissy. Otherwise we will have to walk and... I don't think any of us want to make this journey longer than it needs to be."

Her eyes went to Calixtus. It just... happened, but the young mage stared for a moment, as if waiting for him to do something... but he did not. Bliss sighed, "Alright. I will ride with you, Ro."

Her brother smiled, busying himself by securing her packed bag to the saddle. "Two to each horse, yes? You two can take the lead."

Bliss reached into her pocket and pulled out the map, crossing the distance to Calixtus. "The map, if you... need it."