Fate - First Reply A Shark Man’s Thankful Turkey

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Karnage

Shark Outta Water
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Karnage was stroking the neck of the turkey with his large gray, leathery hands, being as careful as he could be to not hurt it. The big bird was afraid, and rightfully so, having almost died.

“Give me back my bird.” A man demanded, pointing his cleaver at the broad shouldered shark-man.

Hmm.” Karnage hummed. “No. Birds are friends, not food.” He decided immediately and the turkey gobbled in agreement. “This mah friend now. His name be Freddie, short for Frederick.” The Allirian scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Fine, you forced me to do this. Guards! Thief!



OOC: Another holiday writing challenge, this time no post can be longer than 100 words and this thread will end in 10 days from now on Dec 1. I use wordcounter.net! Just some lighthearted fun, expect some humor and silliness c:
 
There appeared to be a little — disagreement.

Kaisa peered at the goings on from across the street, where she had been quite well just minding her own business, buying a bag of barley, some corn and whatnot. That was, before the yelling for guards had begun.

A theft? A crime of compassion, rather. She’d marched on over before she could stop herself, waving her fingers at the sharkman.

“ You ought to run, friend. If you want to keep your friend. “ She stated in a sharp smile, glancing past him where the turkey’s apparent rightful owner was yelling.

Karnage
 
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The turkey turned its head pitifully to Kaisa, giving her the cutest eyes that a turkey could give. Another hero. The turkey hadn’t had such good luck since they had been young, playing ball with his father. Karnage gave another heavy pat to the turkey’s neck. He ruffled Freddie’s feathers.

Me like lil lassie’s idea.” Karnage said, his voice echoing around them just he sensed the guards appearing. “Youz run, me fights.” He said serenely, handing Freddie to Kaise. “Don’t worry, I catch up later.” The turkey gobbled.

Kaisa
 
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She almost dropped her groceries as the turkey was suddenly handed over, to her arms that dared not deny it. The avian eyes were met with a look that was equal parts sympathy and bafflement.

The latter was not helped by the fact she was being given orders — a thing she detested rather passionately and would’ve promptly laughed at, had not something even more preposterous been suggested therein.

“ Fight? “ She hacked out, disbelief rife upon her face. Not so much for that she doubted him being able to, just—

“ Isn’t that rather extreme? “

Karnage
 
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The bag of barley caught Karnage’s attention. With a slight bend in his knees, he lifted up the bag of barley. It wasn’t heavy to him but he knew if he swung it just right that it would surely knock out the guards.

Aye.” Karnage agreed with a nod of his head, turning his back to Kaisa so he could look over his shoulder at her. “But Freddie’s special. Aren’t ya, laddie?” The turkey gobbled and moved its bald head back and forth in a bird-like nod. “Youz eats him, youz break me big heart. And I smoosh you.”

Kaisa
 
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Quite unconvinced. Indomitable, even.

Her face scrunched up a little to the part clarification part threat, a weary sigh dying in her throat. She bettered her grip on the bird, watching the sharkman heft the bag of grain.

“ Alright then — I believe I’d do much the same to whomever wished to eat someone I cared about. “ Granted, the list isn’t very long. A conclusive nod bounced her curls and she turned heel at once.

“ You better come find me. “ She spoke over her shoulder, bejeweled index pointing as she accelerated into a run.

“ I want my barley back! “

Karnage
 
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The action would commence as soon as Kaisa would run away, turkey in her arms. Karnage would roar with delight, although calling it a roar was too kind as it was more akin to a raspy screech, poised with the sack of barley and ready to attack. When Kaisa was far enough, the turkey would grow quiet, as if listening to the sounds of the brawl.

You must help me.” The turkey would say finally though it were impossible as his vocal cords and long neck should only warble. “I’m not a turkey. Well I am, but also not.

Kaisa
 
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Suddenly, the bird spoke. Damn her luck.

“ Excuse me? I am already helping you — “ She hissed through a huff of a breath, keeping her voice down just in case she was imagining it all. “ But alright, let me just get us out of here. “

A glance went past her shoulder to check if they were being followed. So far, appeared not. She groaned at the prospect of being seen like this, disheveled with a talking turkey—

A quick turn saw them into a narrow betwixt blocks. Another turn and she set the turkey down, panting.

“ So — You cursed or something? “

Karnage
 
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Back on the ground, the turkey fluttered its wings as if it had been quite uncomfortable held against Kaisa’s chest. It was better to be against her than the brute that had saved him in the first place.

I am. You see my tale of woe comes from a woman named Kalle, that I may have stood up and left her sitting in the cafe for a few hours. Just so happened she was a witch and turned me into this. Only true love’s kiss can break it.” The turkey looked at Kaisa expectantly. “I need you to kiss me.

Kaisa
 
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The turkey explained, with enough detail for Kaisa to catch her breath and therein elicit a chuckle. It was with some fondness, like she was recalling a memory.

The rest was pure amusement over the concluding suggestion.

“ You are making some wild assumptions here, my good friend. “ Or being hideously hopeful. Cute. She flashed a smile that bared fangs, a coy tilt to her head as she stepped closer and took a knee.

“ But who am I to deny a bird in need. Worth a try. “

Reaching forward, she landed a peck on the turkey’s beak.

Karnage
 
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There was a pop like someone had just pulled the cork from a bottle, a soft sizzle like eggs on a hot pan, and even the faintest whiff of the arcane. Static sparked in the air but then fizzled out and the turkey remained a turkey.

I guess it does have to be true love’s kiss and it would be weird for you to love a turkey.” Freddie said with another ruffle of his feathers. “I might have to find that witch and kiss her, instead.” There was a haughty warble. “I’ve always been apologizing to ladies.

Kaisa
 
And hark! A whole lot of nothing.

Kaisa blinked, staring at the bird in mainly disappointment. She wasn’t proud of the feeling, a little alarmed in fact, just as she was for her surprise. Guess it would’ve been too easy, find true love by chance like this — some cosmic predetermination.

“ I’ve loved weirder things. “ Humming sympathetically, she gave the turkey’s bald head a gentle stroke and got up.

“ That aside — I do think we would benefit from finding your witch. “ Glancing about the surrounding narrows, she pursed her lips.

“ For a start. Have you a direction?“

Karnage
 
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The turkey shook its head, opening its beak to speak once more and to inform Kaisa of the bad news. If words did leave the beak, a victorious roar drowned them out, soon followed by some very long stomping and maybe an item or two toppling over. If there was ever a turkey that looked shock, it was Freddie in that moment, although not much changed about his face to begin with.

I thought he would’ve been more distracted.” Said the turkey.

Oooooohhhhh Freeeedddddiiiieeeee~Karnage’s voice echoed about the streets, “Where are youuuuuz?

Kaisa
 
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A bust that too, then.

One hand on her hip, Kaisa shifted her weight from one leg to the other and gave a disappointed huff of a breath. She had been of the mind to ask something else, but the words quickly evaporated at the tremor underfoot. And a familiar voice.

Her stare narrowed at the turkey’s remark.

“ It seems to me like you don’t want your rescuer to find us. “ She muttered, staring the bird down. “ Whyever is that? Sure you don’t want him to kiss you? The odds are— “

She trailed off, flashing a hideous smile.

Karnage
 
The turkey began to look nervous at Kaisa’s smile, suddenly unsure if he preferred her company over the towering shark. The shark had said he thought of birds as friends instead of food, but it was hard to trust the words of a shark when they had such sharp, pointy teeth.

Do I try it? True love’s first kiss?” He asked meekly. “His mouth is so big!

Karnage was getting closer.

Kaisa
 
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Kaisa quickly mustered her best impression of a wise old sage, nodding at the turkey’s inquiry with such encouragement she could’ve well been mistaken for a swindler. In some other life, she might’ve fancied herself a promising cart saleswoman.

“ Big, sure — “ She cocked her head and shrugged. “ But only physically and not figuratively, the amount I’ve heard him talk. I’ve found that a rather positive trait in a husband. “

Her curls bounced as she crinkled her nose and nodded, decisive and truthful.

“ What have you to lose in trying? You’ve already the perils of a turkey’s life. “

Karnage
 
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Too much information,” the turkey said curtly. If he was more expressive— or rather, if he could be more expressive— he might have added a playful wink to hint his sarcasm. His beak opened but the stomping of Karnage made him shut up. Strangely enough, Karnage knew exactly where to turn to find the two of them.

He held up Kaisa’s groceries. The sack of barley had a front tooth stuck to it.

Freddie! Youz not dead!” The Kamo sounded genuinely thrilled by the notion. “No gotta smoosh.” He dropped the groceries and held out his arms for the turkey.

Kaisa
 
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And there he was, the great shark of a man. Kaisa smiled wide, frightening herself with how genuinely she wore it.

“ No, indeed! “ She responded, approaching swiftly to relieve the man of her long lost sack of barley. The errant tooth stuck to the burlap was promptly picked out and pocketed, in case a day came she needed it.

She well might!

“ Smooshing prevented, what of a smooch instead? “ Her tone bright as ever, she stepped next to the reunion and regarded the shark like a mother might a suitor.

“ Freddie is cursed, beloved. A kiss breaks it, apparently. “
 
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Karnage blinked slowly at the woman, looking over her short dark hair and bright eyes that reminded him of a cat.

No smoosh… but…. Smooch?” Karnage asked, all at once unsure of what a smooch really was and if it would save Freddie.

Yes, a smooch! Purse your lips,” Karnage blinked bovinely once more. “Well I can’t do it, I have a beak! Just push your lips together then out and forward.” Karnage tried to do such a thing and the turkey sighed. “Can you demonstrate for the big lad? I know you’ve already done it before but he’s clueless.

Kaisa
 
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