Private Tales An Answer After Dark

Perhaps he had let down his defenses, allowed himself to act and speak without the constant antagonism and paranoia that ruled so many of his thoughts and movements. It wasn't a conscious choice he'd made, but being around somebody who, despite his own internal protests, he could no longer deny he felt a kinship with.

Illyria was, in so many ways, like him. She'd had nobody for so long that she didn't know how to allow herself to be cared for. All of Crux's relationships were out of convenience, purely superficial and skin deep. He'd never had a problem tossing away those whom he no longer had use for, nor did he allow the weight of others to drag him down.

Yet here he was, tugging Illyria out of her forest to fight alongside him. Why? He'd claimed it was for her, that she should feel obligated to defend her home.

That was a lie, of course.

Crux had brought her because he didn't want to walk away. Not yet. What little shred of humanity he'd buried deep inside of himself had grown fond of her, and letting her go would mean returning to the lonely, empty life he pretended to revel in. As she flipped onto her back, Crux continued to run his hand along her back, his fingertips drawing lines against her skin as she spoke.

"When living becomes surviving, some things start to matter less..." He would mutter to her, watching her eyes as they scanned her pillow. "There was a time... when all I cared about was surviving. I'd been born to slaves, grew up a slave, escaped an inhospitable land... all that mattered was making it over the next hurdle, seeing the next sunrise."

Crux thought back to their first meeting, the words she'd spoken that had enraged him so.

"It matters not what I want, only that I have lived contently and happily. A luxury many would strive to achieve, no?"

"It frustrated me, when you said it didn't matter what you wanted. Because it does. You didn't live in those woods for all these years for somebody else. You did it for you. People like you and I survive in spite of isolation, not because of it."

Illyria rose and turned away from him, slowly removing the shirt and vest she'd been so uncomfortably confined in. For the first time, Crux didn't see Wolf-Girl. He didn't even see 'Illyria'. Crux looked upon the pale canvas of her back now, and saw a woman, red-blooded with flaws and imperfections, with desires and dreams of her own.

Crux sat up in the bed, and slid closer. His arms wrapped around Illyria from behind, pulling her gently back against his chest. His chin rested in the crook of her neck, and for the first time, he held her close.

"We don't need these people, and it doesn't matter what they think of us. The only time I'll give a damn about anybody is if they make me feel my own heartbeat. The way I feel it right now."

In an almost hesitant, unsure movement, Crux tilted his head and pressed his lips against the side of her neck, muttering against her skin.

"And I told you... anybody wanting to throw you back to the wild has to go through me."

Illyria

Even if his lips had touched upon the side of her neck that pumped the blood through her body, Crux knew he wouldn't feel the steady beat of her heart. How could he, when his own rhythm echoed in his ears like a drum in an empty hallway? The cocktail of emotions, so many he'd never felt before, was a drug to his mind as Illyria turned in his arms to face him, her body bare, but not in the way it had been before. The vengeful slave with a cold heart and callous mind no longer saw the shapeshifter as a creature of the woods, foreign and unlike him. Now, he saw a woman, beautiful and blossoming at his touch.

It wasn't the first time she'd made him feel this throbbing in his ears. He'd felt rage when they'd met, when she'd so carelessly tossed aside her own self-worth after he'd saved her. He'd felt invigorated when she'd come to his rescue, giving him a chance to continue his selfish crusade against the world that had wronged him. Tonight, as Illyria pressed her lips to his neck softly, it was not rage or excitement that drove his heart to thrum in his chest, but nervousness.

Never had he cared for someone the way he was realizing he did for her. Never did he desire another person's touch upon his skin with such need. As her lips slowly left his flesh, only a cooling heat remaining in their place, his head tilted and his breath stalled as his skin grew warm under the air he shared with her. Gods above and demons below, he craved her so. That raw, unfettered need was what frightened him, what made him wish to retreat into the cold, uncaring shell he'd wrapped himself in for so long.

Not tonight.

Tonight he would not retreat.

As Illyria drew back and waited for him to act, Crux moved a hand up to the smooth, pale side of her face. His calloused hand brushed away the ebony locks that hung over her piercing emerald eyes. There was an energy in her gaze, something so powerful and glimmering that he'd never felt before. It drew him in more than any magic he'd ever taken into his person before, but he didn't wish to steal it from her. No, this energy he wished to bathe in with her, together.

"The only one who ever has..." Crux muttered. "It's always you, when I feel this way."

The hand at her cheek slid behind her head; Crux wasted no more time on words that he hardly had an explanation for. To delay another minute would be to torture himself more than any day of slavery or loneliness he'd endured before. Finally, he would grant himself reprieve. In her lips against his own, his hand atop her breast, feeling for her own beating drum, and in the sigh he let escape him into her mouth, ages of need for what he couldn't find leaving him in an instant.

Illyria

When the light of day finally found its way through the single window, back into the room that Crux and Illyria now shared, it was a dawn unlike any he'd experienced before. The warmth of the sun against his closed lids did not fill him with loathing and misery as it had for so long, the call of the birds outside did not feel akin to a reverie summoning him to another day of mere survival.

Today, this dawn brought Crux no fear. Today, his sleep was dreamless and peaceful. Today, he woke with a woman in his arms who'd quelled the raging fire burning in his heart, if only for a while.

Those sullen eyes slid open, looking down at the beauty of the forest nestled snugly into his chest, her breathing still slow and deep as she slumbered against his skin. Only a day ago her very existence had puzzled and enraged him, owing in part to his own feelings that he could not decipher. This morning, he could scarcely imagine being without her.

Crux had never been a believer in fate, but it seemed to obvious to ignore that some force had brought him this strange girl, Illyria. That she'd come to his rescue in what should have been his end. That she'd shown him affection in a way he'd never experienced.

Maybe someday, he'd navigate his own pride and thank those fates.

But for now, there was a world beyond their front door that awaited them. Dangers they'd pledged to face, places they'd deigned to travel, and a home they sought to save. Crux knew now, more than ever, that he couldn't do it on his own. It would have only ended in his demise.

In his arms was a living, breathing salvation for his soul. He only hoped he would be able to use the chance he'd been given.

"Illyria..." He whispered into her ear, his palm gently stroking her cheek. "Wake up..."

He'd a feeling there would be no such trepidation leaving this place as there was entering.

Illyria

Only once Illyria's eyes were opened once more did Crux truly feel a hesitant tug on his heart. Too close, a voice said. He'd allowed her too close to him, and now she wouldn't see him as what he was, as the dangerous freak he knew himself to be. She would put herself in danger for him, would allow her feelings for him to lead her astray...

It was the same spiel he'd given himself a dozen times over. This time was different, though. He wanted to trust Illyria. If there were any eyes that he wished to look through the shell of anger and fury he'd encased himself in to see his true self, it was the jade pair that stared back at him now.

"Perhaps I overdid it..." He murmured back to her, knowing she'd have had it no other way. As he spoke, the hand that ran along her cheek grew warm against her skin, leaving a pleasant tingle against her flesh as he tucked his fingers under her chin and pulled her lips to his. Through his touch, through his kiss, he rejuvenated her with another surge of the energy she'd offered him the night before. It would be akin to a shot of adrenaline.

Breathlessly, he pulled away, his own body aching now as it remembered the exertion he'd placed upon it in the name of satisfying the sleeping beast he'd awoken inside of her. Running his tongue slowly along his bottom lip, he smirked. "But if it's any consolation, that's the most anybody has ever gotten out of me before"

Crux's arms reluctantly began to slide away from Illyria's body, but he took solace in knowing that this wouldn't be the last time she was his. Sitting up on the bed, he gave his arms and neck an experimental roll, ensuring he wasn't too cramped before standing up and moving to retrieve his clothing.

"This place doesn't do room service, so if you want to eat, you'd better get your stunning little ass up and throw something on." He peered down at her, his eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly. "Unless you'd rather I bring you something."

Even he surprised himself with that offer.

Illyria

It was somewhat of a shock to Crux, how nonchalant Illyria acted, especially after the outburst of emotion they'd both experienced only the night prior. As she reluctantly rose from the mattress and began to dress herself, he felt that nagging insecurity, that fear of opening himself return.

Had that... meant anything? In Crux's mind, what they'd done had felt far more significant than a particularly rough toss in the sheets. Perhaps he'd allowed his need for companionship to cloud his judgment, and warp his view of reality.

More concerning was the fact that he suddenly cared so much about what she thought of him. Something had changed last night, and Crux felt his face tighten in frustration as he realized he wasn't entirely sure what that something was.

Illyria was prepared rather quickly, and the sound of her boots on the floor broke him from his thoughts. This wasn't the time to mull over his emotions. The facts of the situation remained the same: They were on a mission, and Illyria was his partner. They had a schedule to keep.

"It's not a particularly long trip, but you're right in that we should be going." He nodded, closing his eyes and running a hand across his jaw, popping the joints as he walked to the door of her room. "Go on and head down to order the food, I need to grab my things from the other room and I'll meet you at the wagon."

In hindsight, paying for two rooms was rather wasteful, but at the time neither of them were particularly enthralled with the other's presence. Exiting out into the hallway, Crux crossed over into the next room and collected his bag, still sitting beside his bed where he'd left it, and scooped up the door key from the nightstand.

Careless... he'd left the door unlocked. Anybody could have come in here and liberated him of his belongings.

Illyria

While Illyria reveled in the memories of last night as she enjoyed her breakfast, Crux struggled with his own memory of their joining. He still sat in the room that had ended up being unused, perched on the foot of the bed with his belongings at his side. Try as he might, he could not muster up a hunger for food. No aches came to his stomach, and his lips would not parch.

He craved something else now. Someone else.

It hadn't been the first time he'd had a tumble with somebody in an Inn room. Crux had told Illyria as much the day before. Those were all disposable instances, however, a means to an end. He'd never slept with another for any reason other than to sate his needs and clear his mind. So why, even as he was satisfied and clear-headed, did he want more of her?

The heat of her skin as she'd laid atop him, the trembling of her body as she'd come undone under his touch again and again, the quiver of her voice as she'd called his name. They were all baked into his body, replaying in his mind again and again.

And it wasn't just the intimacy; it was her smile... that damned coy smile of hers. The way she so effortlessly fired back whenever he tried to push her, able to match him word for word. Her spirit, her unwillingness to bend or change herself for another's desires.

These were new feelings, and they were mortifying.

Yet his only option was to continue, to rejoin her and press on. To leave her now would not only be breaking his word, but would mean tearing himself away from whatever these bizarre sensations that had ensnared him so desperately were.

Splashing some water on his face at the basin, Crux headed downstairs with his belongings, quickly spotting Illyria as she finished her meal.

"Taking your time?" He grumbled, sliding into the seat beside her and gesturing to the juice with a look to the cook. He should at least keep hydrated. "I'm ready to go as soon as you're finished."

Illyria

Crux lifted the juice to his lips the moment it arrived, if not because he was parched then because it gave him an excuse not to talk. Illyria wasn't skilled with idle chatter, but she was still leagues ahead of him. Though he wasn't hungry, he still found himself poking at the bit of breakfast she offered him, eating small bites as he listened to her speak.

It wasn't until he caught the brief smile that escaped her that Crux's resolve waned. She pushed the smile aside, but still it had irked him. Illyria had lived in the woods almost her entire life, without human contact, and was now on a trip far from her homelands. Despite all that, all of the confusing feelings they'd dredged up together, she was making an effort.

What was his excuse?

"That's a good idea." He spoke through a bite of ham, forcing himself to participate. "There's no telling what will happen between now and our destination. I'd rather be prepared." He had more energy to give, should she need it, but actual food was better for the body. Raw energy lacked nutrition, a lesson he'd learned the hard way early on. "I... do hope that I didn't hurt you too badly."

Wolf-Girl was strong. Stronger than anybody else he'd met on his travels. Still, there was a strange concern in the back of his head. A desire for her safety. There was a long pause, a piece of egg held partway to his mouth as the awkward silence continued. Crux couldn't hold back the snicker of laughter, placing his fork back down and shaking his head.

"You scared me for a second. With the talons..."

Illyria

When the two of them were sitting and talking like this, not about their goals or their destination, but about themselves... it was easy to forget where Illyria came from, that this wasn't something she'd experienced a hundred times before. Then she started downing orange juice like it was the elixir of life itself, and even Crux felt his lips begin to curl in amusement.

No, this was all still foreign to her. She was only here because it meant defending the place she called home. And now... because of him.

At least, he liked to think he played some part in it.

"It's orange juice." He muttered through his smirk, bringing a wrist up to shield it. "Suppose I know what to buy you next time we stop for drinks." It still felt unusual, almost uncomfortable to smile so brazenly. Crux had spent so long disallowing himself to express such emotions that doing so, even to her, felt like a vulnerability he shouldn't be exposing.

"But... yeah." He cleared his throat as he finished his drink, drumming his fingers on the table as he waited for her to be ready. "I liked it too. It was... It was good."

Illyria