Recent content by Kazaban the Mad

Cortosi Coast From cliff that overlooked waves that toiled, vessels that struggled, and unseemly things that lurched from cresting ocean, were the spectators three gathered. One squat, bulbous in stomach, enrobed in crimson velvet with golden trim, patted their stomach in light drum beats. The...

"Well as birthday presents go, that was a kick to see my abode explode, but no cake? I'll have to give you a firm B minus," Kazaban said, perfectly conversational despite the recent circumstances. "Now, to find the next tower to take over," Kazaban said, stroking their beard as if that might...

Air rushing, robes a flutter, hands outspread as if to increase drag, hair streaming as a screaming Kazaban was ejected prematurely out of the now aloft tower by Jester direction. The tower itself was a blazing yet spluttering thing, the angle far too low to gain true altitude, yet the speed...

Memory failed to serve as levers did their toil, through clanking cog and whirling arcane component set to spinning did they do the Jester's random whim. The cabinet smashed against the wall, and became aflame for virtue of the remains of the bauble. Heavy clanks and rumbles emanated from the...

The friction grew too muchly for palm now near glass smooth for the spinning top bargain bin ball of bluster. With a pained scree and a shaking of the hand did the orb spiral from flesh contact into the air, and fell to the ground with a dull and heavy thud-tha-thud-thud. Kazaban continued to...

"Yes, red means dead! Red means dead! How observant you are! You have eyes to see your doom! And a gem to uh, whatever, doesn't matter, red means dead!" Kazaban said, flittering eyes between his own orb and the blue gem swirling with far more power than Kazaban's own recent bargain buy. The...

Kazaban lurched as if pulled by rope towards the new prospective customer, his previous scathing exposition of what had been rendered completely forgotten as he embraced his role to provide succulent dog to as many people as possible. The mimic cart behaved itself for the moment as the tubular...

The postulation from the jester placed the wizard into bolt right position, rising as the animated dead, as if his spine had been electrified and jerked upright. He pointed finger at his guest and lifted his head back as he brought scathing word to bear. "Oh if it's a laugh you want, I'll grant...

Kazaban blinked three times in disbelief. His rage was spent in small part by his expulsion of magic, his breathed a ragged breath in as he summoned the will to continue the diatribe. His head began to pound, his fingernails now cracked from the expulsion. "You," Kazaban hissed and looked at...

"Spoken like someone without a shred of understanding about shriekomancy! Prepare to ride the green lightning as I demonstrate I reveal the true nature of your reality! Become as dust, become sizzled in my frying pan of magic! Gyah!" Kazaban whirled upon the spot as he reached the threshold of...

Kazaban drew up the sleeves of his robes, which slipped down immediately after the gesture. His eyebrows twitched, his face contorted, his eyes became narrow. "There is little I cannot do once I set my mind to it, there is nothing I can't do! Why I can turn the heavens to hells and the hells...

Blustering rage erupted into the wizard's frame as his face did sneer as if greeted by the smell of dead fish that he was insinuated to stock. The gall of it. "I do not stock fish, I do not stock fish you great mass of bells, you pantomiming rhombus of ruinous prattle! I stock terror and in...

Without missing a beat Kazaban screeched, "Drop it on your thick head, you tomfoolering block head! Kazaban would batter any door he pleases, from any height, from any vantage! Why the other day I hefted my battering ram into hot air balloon and dropped it upon an idiot fish man who deserved to...

Kazaban jumped back slightly at the befuddling reply with a little unwitting outburst of, "Ooo!" Kazaban looked around as if he was now handling contraband and rubbed his hands together and hunched in conspiratorial musings. "No ribbon, no wrapping, just a tap tap tapping! I can't stand the...

The tower stood in defiance of gravity and the trappings of structural integrity, all crooked and stumbling blocks of stone amassed in column that could hardly be called stable. The wind did threaten to bring down the entire thing in a mass exodus of cohesion at any point, yet, the tower never...