"Duct Tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
-One of the Oprahs
"Oh boy, this sure is a crummy juncture"
-Me, for no reason at all
"What do you call a caffein addict without coffee? Depresso!"
-Some dumb comic I saw
"Why the heck is your signature so big?"
-Literally everybody at congress, to John Hancock
-Literally anybody who reads this, to me
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