Letters You suck Arkarnianna

[Arkarnianna]

Dear College,

It is me, your eternal servant who follows your holy light, Arkarnianna, I hope this letter is finding whom it may concern in good health. I would like to thank you for keeping me under your guidance, I would be lost without you.

I am writing to inform you that I found a necromancer in the Ixchel wilds who was heading north to some sort of beacon, or so he claimed. I sensed no such beacon, and put him down as per protocol, I think there might be something to the rumour though. He was not the only one I have found heading north in the last few weeks. I think there might be something going on.

I am also writing because I know that I am supposed to kill all necromancers, but does that really include toddlers? That child from Good Meadow was no older than three, there was no way he could have known the spell he cast was necromantic in origin, he probably didn't even know what he was doing. I took the tomb the spell was in and burned the house, but I was not unnoticed. The neighbours noticed the flames, and saw my cloak as I left. They know the child's death was not just from the fire, and I think they will figure out it was me through rumours if they ask nearby towns. I know I messed up, and I don't deserve any kindness, but please help me.

I know having to read the writing of such a lowly creature such as myself has been insulting to you, and my praise will never encompass your glory. I am your tool please use me as you see fit. Look with kindness on your servant, I beg you.

Your devote slave Arkarnianna.

 

[Arkarnianna]

Arkarnianna,

How could you be so useless, you are lucky we don't destroy a monster as retched as you. We have found some of the things in you letter disturbing. We do not appreciate these "thoughts" of yours. You are too dumb to have any useful thoughts, and I will ask you do not waste our time with yours. I doubt we need to remind you why you need us. If you continue to disappoint us we may no longer see you as worthwhile to allow following us.

I think you can understand our horror when you went so far as to question our orders! Have you forgotten your place! We have decides that we will require you to return to be reprogrammed at once! maybe this time you will be a somewhat useful tool, but if the past is any indication it is doubtful.

We also are annoyed, but not surprised that you need us to clean up, yet another of your messes. You belong to us, and we would appreciate if you didn't go and get yourself killed or injured.

Finally we will judge you as we see fit, with or without as much kindness as we see fit. We are glad to see that you still seem to remember how low you are before us however and that will be taken into account with you reprogramming. Remember how lucky you are we are willing to take you back.

From the great, powerful, beacon of light to those who are lost, and future saviours to all men, or as we humbly call ourselves, The College.