Completed Vintage Dwarven Wine

[Seredic]

"And here we are."

Seredic took out his map, his dark blue eyes scanning the small red circle he drew. "Maaran," Seredic tried to pronounce the name properly to little avail. He has never been to the Savannah before they say that Halflings melt like an Ice cube when exposed to the hot sun which is kind of ironic considering that his kind enjoy sunny days. But the heat was tolerable compared to the Savannah Sun, the rays bore down on Seredic as though he was blasted by a fire spell summoned by some mage. He was wrapped in white linen with his face covered in a red scarf. Seredic looked like a child mummy waddling his way through the desert it was rather embarrassing. "Good thing I'm the only one here," he said.

Seredic was wondering aimlessly in the desert for about a week. His food supply began to thin and soon he was eating stale beans from Elbion. The water supply remained good though since Seredic was conservative on how much water he drank. "Three cups a day," he said to himself "though I did cheat myself a few times."

All this traveling was lonely for Seredic, in order to cheer himself up he often sang though admittedly Seredic wasn't good at it:

“Far over the misty mountains cold To dungeons deep and caverns old We must away ere break of day To seek the pale enchanted gold. The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,
While hammers fell like ringing bells In places deep, where dark things sleep, In hollow halls beneath the fells. Far over the misty mountains cold.”

Seredic had been traveling on the road for about 3 months now. The Halfling saw nothing but sand and wildlife. None of them held his interest though. Seredic stubby legs began to ache again from all the walking. Growing up in the plainlands , Seredic never had the opportunity to travel far until now. The Wine of Destiny, that's what the angel in his dream called it. She said it was his destiny to make it but she did not tell Seredic where to go only to follow his heart.

Bah! That's the tripe you find in cheap children's novels! Unfortunately that's all he had to go by and it was leading him to Maraan. During his stay in the Hanged Man at Elbion, Seredic over heard a Blue Orc tell a story that the Dwarves during the Age of Wonders created the perfect Wine one that can last essentially forever. When the Dwarven Kingdoms began to collapse, the ingredients to make such wine was lost to history though archeologists speculate that some they may lay dormant in the Savannah some where.

The free town of Maraan appeared on the horizon and a smile formed behind Seredic's brown, thick beard. The Dwarf found himself almost running to the first town he saw despite the ache that formed in his legs.

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Goddamn it was hot.

"Kill me..." said Scythe, laid back and groaning.
"No, me first..." said Nyght, laid back and groaning.

Around them laborers worked to load carts with the stuff the Philanthropist wanted. These same laborers glancing at them with a mix of grumbling annoyance and amused smirks at seeing outlanders unable to cope with the heat. Ugh. Easy for them to do, with their judge-y eyes and shit-eating smirks. They all made terrible life-choices, living in a desert. Yeah, sure, maybe they were born into one, their parents having made similarly terrible life-choices, but under what obligation were they to fucking stay in this sunbaked hell?

Scythe and Nyght were half-sitting, half-slouching against a palm tree in a warehousing district of Maraan, some inferno of a town in godsforsaken Amol-Kalit of all places. They both had their coats and vests off, the top halves of their fine white linen shirts unbuttoned for ventilation and even still, with that and with being in the shade, splotches of sweat soaked through. They leaned their bodies toward one another, shoulders and heads touching. Each with a big fan purchased at at local bazaar, Scythe's in his right hand and Nyght's in her left, fanning away, sharing the meager breeze generated by both.

Sure, this was easy money but fuuuuuck. The damn Philanthropist had one of those nagging worries of his about his little venture here in Maraan, convinced that something might happen to his goods. Hate to ruin the surprise, but nobody really cared about dyes and whatever the fuck a lapis lazuli was. Send in Scythe and Nyght for security in Maraan. Hey. Guess what. They'd been here for about a week now. Saw two of these little caravans leave the city--bound for the portal stone in the north--with its guard detail just fine. Nothing of note. Imagine that.

Worse, all this sweating was incredibly draining. Too tired to fuck, too tired to drink, too tired to even watch other people gamble away their fortunes. All they wanted to do at the end of the day was take an extended bath and go to bed dripping wet.

Easy money. Sure. But damn were they being tortured under the gruesome Kaliti sun.

"Hey," said Nyght.
"Hey you," said Scythe.

One of the laborers stopped. Looked at them. He held a crate with some funny markings scribbled on the side. Scythe and Nyght lazily looked at him down the noses of their upturned heads.

"Notice anything suspicious?" said Nyght.
"Tell me how suspicious," said Scythe.
"Anything anybody should give a shit about?"
"My shit refuses to leave my ass. I blame the food."
"No? Nothing? Keep up the good work. Doin' great."

The laborer shook his head and went back to his business.

Yeah, there wasn't anything going on. Just the Philanthropist getting all riled up over nothin' again.

 

[Seredic]

From Seredic have gathered, Maraan was one of the few cities in the Savannah that's under the domain of the Empire. It's a humble trading town home to a diverse population of Humans, Elves and Blue Orcs but what makes Maraan special is that it has access to many trade routes from Elbion, Vel Anir and Fal'Addas whoever controls Maaran controls the trade of the Savannah. Maraan was also popular among Professors traveling from the College of Elbion as at least two of the routes lead to Portal Stones.

Serdic was surprised to see Maraan independent he'd thought once the new King: Gerra was done with his conquest in the south, he would capture Maraan in order to dictate the trade routes in the Savanah. Maraan however remained neutral during his expansion. The town may be a medium sized town but it highly values its independence and way of life.

"They remind me of my people," Seredic thought. "All we halflings care about in life are song, cheer, drink and smoking pipe weed. What happens outside of our holes is of little interest to us." But if an outsider threatens our us we will rise up and defend our homes. We Halflings may look meek and mild but when the worst happens we gain the courage and heart to defend those we love."

Home..... It was miles away now Seredic remembered Fairbarin: one of the largest Halfling communities in Arethril. Fairbarin was a hilly land with grassy fields, sparking blue rivers, an abundance of fragrant flowers which bloomed bright. Sally's favorite flowers were the tall Sunflowers which Merry Proudfoot grew in his garden annually. Seredic can already hear the children running on the grassy plains laughing sashaying about. Sally always loved children and couldn't wait to have their child play with them.....

"Fuck!" Seredic fought the stinging tears that formed in his eyes furiously clutching on his traveling stick. It was hard thinking about his home without thinking of his love: Sally. Seredic could already see her soft features, her curly brown hair which bounced up and down when she laughed. Her beautiful singing voice that was majestic and alluring that Seredic gets paralyzed when she sings. Seredic loved Sally and he now he lost her.

"Halt!" Seredic could see a guard wrapped in yellow clothing pointing a long spear at his face. "What is your business here midget man?"

"I believe the correct term is Halfling my good man." Seredic removed his hood revealing a old and weathered face. His beard was messy and his hair was strew all over all in all Seredic looked as though he just drank a gallon of wine and just woke up. Oh wait.....

"I come seeking the location of the ancient Dwarven Wine," Seredic said. "Legend has it that the ingredients lie somewhere in the Savanaah. Your town has a Library that contains history of the Savanah. I like to go study in your humble library."

"I apologize Halfling," the guard said. "Elbion has been hit with a horrific fire a few days ago. Flaming beasts emerged from the fires and have been running around the city killing everything in sight. It is Maraan's policy to vet travelers until we receive word that the crisis is over. Please follow me to the twin arches

Seredic didn't have time for this. He was hungry, thirsty and just needed to go to the library. "How we skip the line." Seredic said taking out his coinpurse. "I mean all this vetting is rather pointless what refugee would flee to the desert? It'll be like a Fish fleeing to the land to avoid a Shark."

"I'm sorry," the guard said. "There's not much I can do."

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

There. Another cart loaded up and the camel pulling it smacked on the ass for good luck. Outta Scythe and Nyght's hands now. The regular caravan hands handled the travel to the portal stone. And god-fucking-speed to 'em, Scythe and Nyght sure as hell didn't want to trekking around any more than they had to.

Well, to be fair, they did have a little more walking to do. The Philanthropist wanted them to escort his goods out of the city. Whatever boogeyman the Philanthropist was concerned about apparently lurked around Maraan proper. Which made some sense. Hardly any places to ambush anybody out in the damn desert. That, and well, some Empire-something-or-another providing a measure of order and security. Ya know, like Vel Anir. Raiders and bandits generally just stayed the hell out of their territory. Fuck, Scythe and Nyght would too if they were still with their raider buddies. Too damn risky. Less militarized regions were always easier to score a big haul in. Pickpockets, pro thieves, schemers, backstabbers, swindlers, all those though, they could still do their thing in the city if they were careful. So, funny enough, the Philanthropist's goods happened to be safer outside Maraan than in it.

So Scythe and Nyght had gathered up their crossbows and slung them over their shoulders and slung their vests and coats over the straps. Not exactly ready for a fight. But who cares, not like anything was gonna happen. That random guy they asked who probably don't know shit said so, and that was good enough for them.

Scythe and Nyght trudged along behind the camel-drawn cart and the formation of local caravan hands beside it. Still fanning themselves. Goddamn, where was an enchanter when you needed one? Enchant these sumbitches with some ice magic, fan some honest-to-Gods-of-Good-Times cold air for fuck's sake.

They walked the cart all the way to the Gates of the city. Good. After this was done they'd be free for a few days before the next shipment of crap came in from all around Amol-Kalit and gathered up into a nice and tidy load and put on a cart bound for the portal stone and Alliria beyond.

A little wave to the caravan hands and the driver of the cart as they went through the arching gate and the open portcullis.

"Don't go too fast," said Scythe.
"Watch out for scorpions," said Nyght.
"Drink plenty of water."
"Make smart choices."
"Don't forget to wipe."

There were a few people coming into the city. Some got in easily. A few others were being harangued by the guards. Good to see they were still as uppity as when Scythe and Nyght had arrived. Maybe even a little more so as of late. Fuckin' lawmen.

See. Look. Right there. Givin' that halfling over there a hard time, like a buncha pricks. Goddamn, just let the little bastard in already. Alright. Know what? Time to screw over the lawman. Scythe and Nyght didn't really care if that halfling was here on peaceful, legit business or if he'd come to burn the whole place down, but fuck that one guard in particular. Mess with his head a little.

Scythe and Nyght approached the guard and the halfling he was holding up. And they, despite the miserable state of sweating their asses off, adopted an amicable, grinning familiarity.

"Hey~~ buddy~~, glad you could make it!" said Nyght.
"'Bout time too. Fashionably late again? Oh you!" said Scythe.
"Well, good news, you ain't missed much."
"Whole lotta nothin' goin' on right now."
"But a job's a job, am I right?"

Then, to the guard:

"He's good. He's with us," said Scythe.
"Maybe he'll motivate our sorry asses to get some work done, eh?" said Nyght.

Knowing, conspiratorial, winking glances to the halfling, timed precisely when the guard wasn't looking.

 

[Seredic]

Seredic and the guard looked at the pair of twins who were standing uncomfortably close to the guard. The Halfling frowned seeing the humans babble on something about being fashionably late or something. They talk astronomically fast that it was hard for Seredic who is a very good lip reader to keep up. "Do you know these...… gaggle of quacks?" the guard said while more guards came from the right side riding on Camels. "What's going here Amenhotep?" One of the guards said dismounting his Camel.

Amenhotep was about to speak but the humans continued to talk fast and loud. They were twins judging by their identical appearance and they were helping them to get through the gates. With the way they were constantly winking at Seredic it seemed so by why? Possibly mercenaries since Seredic saw Crossbows slung over the shoulders. It was good thing Seredic bought a lot of coin with him. "All non residents are to report to the Twin Arches." the guard near the Camel said. "Unless you're here on official business."

"I do!" Seredic quickly tossed a coin to the human boy in hopes that can play along. Halflings were lightning quick despite most of them being rotund in shape. "I am business man! Who collects Wine of all flavors! And these are my body guards! Who were supposed to wait for me at the gate!"

Seredic frowned. "You lazy bums!" he shouted. "Why were you late?! I was wasting this poor Amenhotep's time while you laze around like the slackers you are! I should have thrown to the pits and be fed to the Jackals!"

Amenhotep chuckled. "They belong to you?" he asked.

"Indeed!" Seredic said with pride.

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Hot damn their hands--specifically Scythe's body's hand in this case--could move fast when money was involved. Scythe caught the coin with his left hand and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Sorry boss," said Scythe, raising his palms apologetically toward the sky.
"Little side job. All done," said Nyght, raising her palms apologetically toward the sky.
"Just mistimed it a bit."
"Only by a few minutes."
"But we're here for ya now."

Amenhotep. More like Amen-get-fucked. Him and his lawmen buddies. Hey, at least the halfling improvised well enough to pull a fast one over on these saps. Damn it always felt good to roll a ruse right over the top of some lawman's thick head and him bein' none the wiser.

Almost had him. Amenhotep just needed to fall for the story. And why the hell wouldn't he. They put on a good enough show, didn't they? What'd Amenhotep know about their 'business', huh? Nothin'. Also, choke on Scythe's body's sweaty raider sack, lawman. This one's for the lads.

 

[Seredic]

"You see!" Seredic said smiling pointing towards the twins. "These unusual rapscallions have been a pain in my arse for weeks! Always distracted and always full of excuses! As soon as we're with my task I'll fire them!" The Halfling stepped closer to the two humans. "You hear that?!" He yelled. "You mercenaries I definitely hired are going to be fired!"

"I wouldn't worry about that my little friend," Amenhotep said slowly drawing his saber.

"Oh?" Seredic made eye contact with the guard making sure trying to read what he was going to do despite the fact that the sword in his hand made Seredic nervous. "Why is that?"

"Because you're under arrest."

Seredic's mind went blank for the first time in his life words had failed him. "A-Arrested?!" Seredic sputtered out. "What is the meaning of this?! I've done nothing wrong!"

"There has been reports!" The guard who was on the Camel said. "That there were twins who was causing trouble in the marketplace. Even blew up a merchants supplies at Maraan we have eyes of a hawk and the ears of a Rabbit. These twins under your care have been quite the trouble makers."

Seredic gave a quizzical look towards the twins. Of all of the bloody people to with, he had to ally with common criminals! But there may be a way out of this......

"Since you are the admitted care taker Halfling," The guard said. "You are held responsible for them and you will join the twins in Sand Cells where you'll eventually be sent to the Gallows to hang. That is if you don't die of dehydration during your stay in the cells."

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

They said it once, they'll say it again: fuckin' lawmen. They were just raiders and highwaymen with the blessing of the local monarch, yet they had the damn gall to pretend like they weren't. Here they were, tryin' to string Scythe and Nyght and this halfling up for some shit they didn't do. Yeah. And they'd get away with it if they could.

If.

Also, pffft. Caretaker? Under the halfling's care? What the actual fuck, that was patronizing. Lawmen. Pieces of shit to a man.

Scythe and Nyght each casually shrugged off the coats and vests draped over the shoulders of their bodies, let them fall to the sand. Expensive clothes, those. But if this thing was going to blow, they had to be ready. Crossbows, swords, whatever it took. They weren't being taken in alive, especially for some shit they didn't even do.

Well, they were just tryin' to have a spot of fun, and look at that. Forgot all about the heat and the sticky sweat making their linen shirts cling to their respective bodies. Maybe the Philanthropist's nervous naggings were right after all; maybe it was the fucking lawmen they needed to be worried about this whole time. Corrupt motherfuckers, most likely.

"There've been reports, he says," said Nyght.
"What. Like we're the only twins in the whole damn city. Fuck off," said Scythe.
"That wasn't us, numbnuts. Check your damn proof. We got alibis out the ass."
"Did you not just see us escorting a cart outta here? Peacefully, I might add."
"Look. You can still see it. There it goes out there in the distance. Bye-bye, cart!"

They didn't give their ground, but their right hands went to the straps of their crossbows as they talked. Lawmen wanna throw down, let's throw down. But for once in their life, Scythe and Nyght were innocent of the shit they were bein' accused of. Heh. Makes for a good story to tell around a tavern.

Time to find out how it ends, though.

 

[Seredic]

"WAIT!" Seredic could feel the cold, sharp steel of Amehtop's blade against his flesh. What they were going to cut his throat and get it over with? After spending weeks stumbling around in the hot desert this is how he'll go out? Killed for a crime he did not commit along with two people he didn't know? Surely the people of the Savannah are capable of seeing reason but of course based what they're doing now Seredic was very doubtful but he had to try.

"Maraan is a big town!" Seredic focused his gaze on Amenhtop the Halfling was scared out of his wits. It was pretty obvious with Seredic's quivering lips and shaking body. He almost pissed himself but Seredic held it in an effort to try to remain calm but that was waning fast.

"You mean to tell me that out of all of the people in that city!" Seredic said regaining confidence. "That my employees are the ONLY twins in town?! That is insane! Where I come from, people provide proof of their misdeeds! Where are theirs?"

"We've had witnesses who pointed them out," Amenhotep responded. "They were wearing black leather jackets like these twins."

"Witnesses lie!" Seredic growled. "Or they misremember things and even resort to basic assumptions! How do these witnesses know that they were twins?! Did they give a physical description of the suspects?! What other evidence do you have besides the eyewitnesses? Seriously! What town guard would arrest a group based on scant evidence anyway?!"

"Enough!" One of the guards said throwing up his hands. "Gag the Halfling and shackle him and his workers!"

"Why?" Seredic glared daggers at the guard. "Am I making sense?"

It was the last words he said before Amenhotep shoved small towel in his mouth. The guards removed Seredic's belongings while also bounding the twins. "Take them to the cells!" Amenhotep ordered.

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Witnesses, huh. Funny how the lawmen didn't have any witnesses testifying to them sittin' on their lazy asses the past week. In the same spot by the same palm tree. Repeatedly. But that's what they did, lawmen. Played by the 'rules' until it didn't suit them, and then just discarded 'em if they had to.

Well, the halfling tried. See, there's the difference. Honesty. Ain't no bullshit with raiders. We're takin' your shit, you know the deal. Lawmen? They could be accusing of one thing but really taking you into custody for another reason--a shadier reason--or accusing you of something that never fucking happened. Like now.

Soon as the one lawman said shackle, it was go time. Scythe and Nyght each tossed away the fans in their hands and unshouldered their crossbows with feverish quickness and dashed to get a few paces' distance from the small group of guards in their near vicinity.

Simultaneously they turned and raised their crossbows and aimed; Scythe's trained on Amenhotep, Nyght's trained on one of the camel-boys. Didn't shoot. Yet. It wouldn't be long before more guards on the opposite end of the arching gates took notice of the commotion.

"Easy now, fellas," said Scythe.
"We ain't hangin' for somethin' we didn't do," said Nyght.
"How 'bout you boys just stay there."
"And we'll keep walking back this way."
"And everybody 'cept the halfling has a nice day?"

They were backing up slowly, away from Maraan proper and out toward the open desert. Sure they didn't have any supplies, but they could just jog and catch up with the Philanthropist's cart and fall in with all them. Sure they were leaving their coats and their vests there on the ground by the front gate of this rubbish city, but they could buy new ones. Sure they technically had a job to do, but fuck it, wouldn't be the first time they had to abandon a contract. Yeah, it'd piss the Philanthropist off if his shit got nabbed on account of them bailing early, but they wouldn't be around for him to yell at if they were too busy swingin' pretty from the Maraan Gallows.

Just supposed to be a bit of fun, but...uh...things escalated. And Scythe and Nyght sure as hell weren't here to, one, be taken into a fuckin' jail and hanged, or two, take on the entirety of Maraan's rotten guard force. Bad place, bad timing for the halfling it seemed. Damn does that suck. But he let himself be taken, and Scythe and Nyght would be godsdamned if they let that shit happen to them.

They kept backing away from the guards, inch by inch, hands on crossbow triggers, ready to fire if they had to.

 

[Seredic]

Seredic was absolutely flabbergasted at what these twins were doing. Instead of going with the guards quietly, they placed their hands on their crossbows looking as though they were ready to kill. A stupid move! They were in the city surrounded by guards. Even if the twins somehow escape, they'll be persecuted as outlaws and since Maraan is an important trade city between Elbion and Vel Anir they'll draw a lot of interest.

Amenhotop noticed what the twins were doing as well. "What is it with you outsiders and your inability to come quietly?" he snorted reaching for a small whistle buried in his robes. Holding the whistle to his lips, Amenhotop began to give a short blow emitting a loud but small noise. Seredic's eyebrows rose up in fear as behind the twins were multiple guards running towards them equipped with longbows.

More reinforcements came on the rooftops as well aiming their bows and arrows at the twins head. "Do you surrender?" The guard asked smugly.

"Now there!" Seredic said to the twins hastily. "I suggest you do what do what the man says, I don't want my employees to be human pincushions. You're no use to me dead!"

What Seredic wanted to say was: "Please stand down you fucking idiots." They tried to help the Halfling and Seredic was trying to return the favor. These twins better not fuck it up.

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Hell, that was a quick response to that whistle. Were these lawmen planning this? What kind of mess did the Philanthropist throw them into? Fuck it. None of that mattered. They needed a way out. Concentrate on that.

Scythe and Nyght went back-to-back as the longbowmen filed out from the gate and circled around behind them; Scythe's body aiming back toward the halfling and Amenhotep and the gate, and Nyght's body aiming out toward the open desert of Amol-Kalit and the longbowmen.

"Puh. Surrender, he says," said Nyght.
"Eat our sweaty asses," said Scythe.

The halfling seemed content with being jailed and hanged--on some trumped up charges no less--but Scythe and Nyght sure as hell weren't. So those were their two shitty options: surrender and definitely die, or resist and possibly not die. Easy choice as far as they were concerned.

"We ain't doin' shit that man says," said Scythe, watching with a vigilant eye down his crossbow.
"Have fun swingin' from a rope, halfling," said Nyght, watching with a vigilant eye down her crossbow.
"That's not gonna be us."
"Maybe we like being human pincushions."
"All the better if we get to die free."

As they talked, Nyght's body held her crossbow stock-to-shoulder and level with her left hand, but she surreptitiously slipped her right hand from the trigger for a moment and took hold of the small clock pendant hanging about her neck. Their little gift from Greldyrn Il Farrick. She stuck her thumbnail inbetween the top and bottom closed halves, ready to flip it open. And with that she moved her right hand back to the general vicinity of the crossbow trigger.

Long shot? Sure. Had to be quick enough. Had to watch those fingers on the longbow bowstrings. Feel that unmistakable tension in the air reach its boiling point, that crackling tingle of shit's about to get bloody. Scythe's body would still be in a hell of a lot of danger, but moving targets were always a bitch. And wouldn't it be hilarious if these guards ended up shooting some of their own men?

All they really had to do was get the hell out of this surround, run out into the open desert, and catch up with the Philanthropist's cart once they got clear from the lawmen. Dodge some arrow barrages with Lady Luck and Grel's help. How far would these lazy bumfuck lawmen even chase them before they just flung their hands up and retreated back to their rubbish city?

One thing was for a damn sure: they weren't going to jail, and they sure as hell weren't going to the gallows.

"We didn't do it," said Nyght.
"Your move, chief," said Scythe.

And Scythe and Nyght stood their ground. Kept their crossbows up and aimed. Nyght's thumb quivering with anticipation.

 

[Seredic]

If Seredic wanted to die, It would be in his own home with a belly full wine and a slice of chocolate cake next to him. The Halfling never expected to die based on the stubbornness of twin humans surrounded by archers. "It's not so stubbornness," Seredic thought. "But utter stupidity. As I written one of my reviews never underestimate the unpredictability of stupidity."

Seredic had to think fast, Amenhotop raised his hand signaling the archers unleash their on to the twins while deepening his Iron Dagger on to his throat. Seredic imagined that he would have his throat in conjunction of Scythe and Nyght being turned showered by arrows. Closing his eyes, Seredic tried to rack his brain thinking of something, anything to at least save his life.

"WAIT!" Seredic yelled desperately. "What if we search the city for the criminals?!"

Amenhotep's glared at the shaking Halfing before forming his hand into a fist. The archers held their fire for now their nocks loosening just a little bit. "You will?" he said pushing his blade even closer to Seredic's throat. "You are all eagle eyed guards!" Seredic said. "To the point where you can signal out my clients as the only twins in the city. But there is a chance that you might have overlooked something! Just give us until sundown to find culprits and I'll gurantee that we'll turn them to you!"

Much to Seredic's relief, Amenhotep removed his blade from his throat leaving long red cut across his neck. It was only scratch against his skin the Halfling was thankful that it wasn't his arteries getting sliced. "You have until sundown halfman," Amenhotep said. "All of the exits will be locked down and if you fail, you will all hang."

"Thank you!" Seredic said smiling from ear to ear. "We will find them and they will have justice!"

"Go!" Amenhotep pushed the Halfling to the exit leaving him with the twins.

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

The halfling tried a questionable gambit: What if we search the city for the criminals?!

Scythe and Nyght stayed hyper alert and ready. There was no way that was going to work.

That just worked.

...No fucking way. What a mad lad, the halfling, but that shit actually worked. Hell, they oughta buy him a drink for that one, Scythe and Nyght would've never dreamed of trying a ploy like that. And these bumfuck lawmen were so incompetent and lazy (Scythe and Nyght conveniently ignored the irony of this latter accusation) that they would actually let some random foreigners do their job. Foreigners who--by their own admission via the continued threat of hanging--they did not know for sure to be innocent of that crime. And they were just going to let them back into the city. Unsupervised. Free rein, at least within the walls. Fuck, Scythe and Nyght figured they ought to actually blow up some merchant's supplies, if not to teach these lawmen a lesson than solely for the hell of it.

All the exits on lock down. Yeah. Sure. Big obstacle there. Especially if said exits were secured by these same saps.

Scythe and Nyght, still laboring under a heaping helping of incredulousness, slowly lowered their crossbows. They thought momentarily that it had to be a trick, that no one could be this dense, but there it was: Amenhotep dropping the knife from the halfling's neck and pushing him back inside. And while Scythe and Nyght could still try Plan A, running like hell away from the archers and the city proper into the open desert while taking heavy arrow fire, this plan bought them some time and also extricated them from immediate danger.

And they had absolutely no intention of actually looking for these supposed criminals. Fuck that shit. It was obviously easy as hell to lay low, given that said criminals--if they even existed--were still on the loose; Maraan was a big enough city. And there were plenty of creative ways to ditch the city, lockdown or no lockdown. Hell, the town itself would riot if these numbnuts kept the lockdown going for too long, and then the lawmen would have bigger problems on their hands. This was going to be cake.

Scythe and Nyght may have lowered their crossbows, but they didn't sling them over their shoulders. Not yet. Nyght's body still held the charmed clock pendant in her right hand. They gingerly walked back toward the gates of Maraan, Scythe's body bending over to pick up both of their coats while Nyght's body maintained a wary watch, and they stalked after the halfling.

They spoke low enough to keep their words between themselves and the halfling.

"Hey buddy," said Scythe.
"Quick thinking," said Nyght.
"Well, good luck."
"Nab any two saps you find and turn them in."
"Yeah, how the hell would these apes know the difference?"

They walked along, back through the portcullis and returning into the city proper, for the moment. Pretending for the time being to be a good boy and a good girl.

 

[Seredic]

"Now wait just a minute!" Seredic called out to the twins just as they were walking back to the city square. While he was extremely upset with these idiot twins for nearly ending his life, he needed them. Seredic only bought himself some time, the guards were up on the rooftops keeping a close eye on the trio. No doubt that they are seeing if Seredic will fulfill his end of the deal by sundown. Of course they doubted his ability to track them since for some odd reason they were convinced that Scythe and Nyght were the only twins in Maaran. Since Seredic had absolutely no idea where to look and is unfamiliar with the merchant town, he needed protection

"I saved your lives!" Seredic growled. "After you nearly had me killed the moment I stepped foot in this city!" Not wanting the guards to eavesdrop on the conversation, Seredic motioned the twins towards a back alleyway where they were concealed by the darkness.

"Now I'm not sure that if you two are guilty." Seredic whispered. "And I don't care, what matters is that you're lives are linked with mine! If the real culprits aren't caught by sundown, then we'll all hang on the scaffolds. And to be honest I want my death to be a little less kinky."

Seredic remembered reading the ways that people pleasure themselves back at home. A popular method was by a hanging, it was a favorite amongst human men. Seredic once passed by an execution during his trip to Alliria and saw thief grinning from ear to ear. He shouted at the executioner that he couldn't wait to die of ecstasy while being wrapped around the noose. Since then, there were laws that administered that if a man should die by hanging then he should be castrated first.

"That is if I'm not castrated first," Seredic grumbled. "So I propose that we work together and I know what your kind of people want."

Seredic was blessed with a skeptical and analytical mind, when he's not snarking he's observing the people around him. Scythe and Nyght are easy people to read. They were mercenaries by every since of the word, ones who wear their emotion on their sleeves and are eager to sell out for a bag of coin. They're they type who can powerful friends or a plain nuisance, it depends on the price. Throwing a bag of coins to Nyght, Seredic leaned on his traveling stick. "That's 500 coins in that pouch," Seredic said. "Stick with me and you'll receive 500 more. I came to Maaran to look for a beverage. I've tracked it down to the Savannah If you protect me, I'll pay you not only the other half but promise you lands and all the pleasures that a mercenary desires."

Seredic nods. "First we must clear our names," he said. "The guards are watching our every move and I quite like my privacy so let's get this out of the way."

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Scythe and Nyght waited for just a minute. Really more out of curiosity than anything. They knew they were going to be fine, no doubt, but the halfling--that'd be funny. He could think on his toes, so he had that going for him. Shit, they didn't want the lawmen to win and for him to be swinging from the gallows, but at the same time they weren't going to risk joining him on the noose crew if it really came down to it.

I saved your lives!

Scythe and Nyght giggled. Couldn't help it.

"Pffft, we almost had you killed?" said Scythe.
"You got it wrong seven ways into next week there, buddy," said Nyght.

Nevertheless, Scythe and Nyght followed after him into that alley. See, the halfling knew the score. Cities were just a cornucopia of walls and doors and corners and hiding places of all kinds; just too easy to give 'em the slip.

Now I'm not sure that if you two are guilty.

"We're not," they said together. They weren't even bothering to try and hide their mind-merging. Didn't much matter, and they were already worked up from that ordeal at the gate and had let their usual routine slip, so fuck it.

He seemed so dead set on the hanging thing being unavoidable, this halfling. All Scythe and Nyght knew was that these dumbfuck lawmen couldn't hang who they couldn't find. And these buffoons hadn't managed to catch these supposed criminals--again, if there even were any--so they figured their own chances were astounding high.

Then the halfling changed the tune of the song. He produced a big-ass pouch full of--holy shit, full of five hundred gold. And there was more. How the hell did that little bastard lug this shit all the way across the desert? Hell, this fucker so rich why didn't he bribe his way out of the incident at the gate. Eh, they supposed he was bribing his way out of it now. Better Scythe and Nyght gettin' rich than some lazy lawmen running a racket.

Scythe's body kept the pouch. And since they seemed in for a bit of walk (at least until sundown got close), both Scythe's body and Nyght's body tied their coats around their waists by the sleeves. Tucked their vests into their belts.

"One question," said Nyght.
"How do we even know there are 'real culprits' to catch?" said Scythe.
"And what are we supposed to do?"
"Go around blindly accusing any other twins we find?"
"Frankly, we find that offensive."

They grinned in a way that suggested they, in fact, did not find it offensive. Hell, like they thought of before, if those incompetent lawmen didn't even know who the hell they were looking for, Scythe and Nyght and the halfling could just nab some other unlucky travelers who happened to look mostly alike and turn those saps in. Heh, how could it be proven one way or the other? Shit, the apparent witnesses of the initial incident only seemed to know--or guess, or just flatly make up--that the 'culprits' were twins.

Fuck, that seemed like credence towards the Philanthropist's worries that someone--or some group--was out for him and his financial venture here in Maraan. And, you know, Scythe and Nyght by extension.

But he fucking worried all the time, and Scythe and Nyght had been here in Maraan for a good six days and nothing suspicious or outright bad happened at all. Not until today. But all this mess could just be purely unrelated.

Whatever. Play the game. Maybe earn themselves some extra coin in the process.

 

[Seredic]

Based on the way that the twins emphatically denied the accusation, Seredic assumed their innocence in whatever trouble that was raised in the marketplace. Either that or Scythe and Nyght are very good mummers. "We don't know," Seredic said turning on his stubby heel exiting the alleyway. "Which is why we investigate, interview witnesses and look over the scene of the crime. Perhaps there are some things that the guards overlooked?"

Seredic wasn't keen on playing detective but Halflings are excellent at observing and putting together clues that are otherwise too subtle for other races to spot. It made him wonder why haven't any Halfing ever started a private eye business? It would be easily lucrative. "So my compulsive companions?" Seredic said as they approached the marketplace. "What brings the two of you here in Maaran?"

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Scythe and Nyght watched the halfling go for a second. Briefly considered just fucking off and going with the original plan of laying low, with the added benefit of having a fat sack full of gold coins for doing nothing. But they followed after him. Couldn't hurt to play the part for a while. That hot ass sun wasn't going anywhere soon; and damn if these days in the desert city didn't feel longer than anywhere else on Arethil.

Maraan, like every city of comparable size, was an absolute bustle of activity during the day. People going up and down the streets on their daily business, some just lounging around and watching the odd trio go on their way, children darting around and their emphatic shouts of play, and all over the ceaseless din of various conversations--this one especially so the closer they got to the marketplace.

What brings the two of you here in Maaran?

Scythe and Nyght were brought out of their dual glancing about for shops with, hmm, useful things. Ropes, hooks, changes of clothes to look decidedly more local. Little things. Handy for later, maybe.

"Easy money," said Scythe.
"But a boring guard job," said Nyght.
"But this has been fun, huh."
"Samantha Blair, by the way."
"And Samuel Blair."

They thought about using their old raider names. Fuck it, you know, they were already "in trouble" with the damn lawmen. But...eh. No real need. And what were the chances that they would come back here anyway, with their tarnished real names? Maraan was like an ox's ass: hot and shitty. So to hell with contracts out here after this.

They followed along with the halfling's lead.

 

[Seredic]

"Samuel and Samantha?" The Halfling mused as the walked through the bustling crowd. There was gust of wind which carried grains of sand with some of it getting into Seredic's eyes. "I don't like sand," Seredic grumbled wiping the sand that got in his eye. "It's warm, rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

But Sally..... Sally loved sand, she always enjoyed the Ocean and sinking her bare feet into the sand as she watched the gentle waves tickle her emerged toes. Seredic remembered always taking her to a grotto a few miles a way from Alliria. It is said that it was once a bathing area for Mermen and Mermaids. Based on the oceanic language that was carved into the stone, it was very likely. Outside of the grotto was an ocean that had the perfect view of ships going in and out of the Allirian ports. Sally would pull Seredic towards

Seredic always wondered why Sally liked the sea, Halflings had a terrible relationship water. The common cause of death for Halflings was drowning and besides the islander Halflings who reside near the Akiva sea, the average Halfling has the swimming skills of a fat Dog. The Halfling snapped back to reality. There goes Seredic again with his memories of Sally and reminiscing, she's dead that was something he told himself for eight years now. The fact that he still hasn't gotten over death is starting to become distressing to him.

"Here we are!" Seredic looked at the blown up stable with debris placed everywhere. To the right was a man sobbing over the burnt down area blubbering that he lost everything.

"And there's our first suspect!" The Halfing beamed. "Perhaps we can ask questions of him!"

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Huh. Well. Didn't like being on a first name basis, this halfling. Fair enough. They could come up with a few sparkly nicknames for him if push came to shove. And it seemed the pushin' part was already over.

Also, not a fan of sand. Duly noted and agreed, especially on that last bit. Scythe and Nyght were continually mystified as to how little bits of sand always managed to get down into the cracks of their asses by day's end. And this wasn't just a one and done sort of deal, it was...yup, it was everyday they'd been here, memory serving them right. Talk about extra motivation for gettin' the fuck outta here, lawmen trouble or no lawmen trouble.

The halfling announced that they were here and...oh ho ho, hooooly shit. Some mad lad actually did blow up a...what the fuck was that anyway? A stable, they guessed, what with the partial remains of some stalls and some crispy, blackened hay still on the ground. Scythe and Nyght glanced around, each body looking in opposite directions and covering all of the visible marketplace. Hm. Yeah. Seemed like just that one stable was dinged. Talk about a serious fuck you. Or hell, for all they knew it was just a dumb accident; some good ol' College boy drinking too much and slingin' around a bit of wild pyromancy in the wee hours of the morning or some shit.

Heh, heh. The halfling. First suspect, he said. They liked this little bastard's gusto. Nab that cryin' sap over by the burnt-up stables and then nab some other sap who might pass for his brother and there they go. Free as free can be. Hey, buddy, bad news, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and your brave city lawmen gave us numbnuts the power to arrest your dumbass. You're welcome. Call on us anytime.

"Don't worry," said Nyght.
"We got this," said Scythe.

Plan. Here we go. Scythe's body will saunter on over, get the sap talkin', he'll say somethin' worth taking him in over for sure, and then Nyght's body'll come around and blindside his ass while he's distracted. Good.

Scythe's body, as per the ad hoc plan, sauntered on over beside the sobbing man. Hooked his thumbs into his belt and stood relaxed and staring at the burnt-up stables. He let out a short whistle. And, funny enough, they were suddenly struck by how awkward and difficult it was to strike up conversation in a fuckin' lawman-y way. Shit, if this was any other situation they'd be fine, but nooo, they had to be playin' Guardsman Friendly over here.

So, Scythe's body said the first thing that came to their mind to the man: "Goddamn, that sucks, huh."

 

[Seredic]

"Oh dear....." Seredic's hand slowly reached for his forehead as he began to rub his temples. "W-What?" The man said through his sobs slowly looking up at Samuel. Seredic wasn't the merchant but even he can feel sadness and confusion, it was a mistake to have two mercenaries interviewing people. They like to use their swords not their tongues.

"Excuse me good sir!" Seredic said approaching the crying merchant, he gave Scythe a look of repugnance . "Don't mind my friend! He's been dropped on the head multiple times as a child. It's to the point where the lad has the mental compacity of a ten year old! It's quite tragic really!"

Let the mercenaries do mercenary work, that was what Seredic had to repeat in his head over and over again. He did have a couple of Knights of The Fallen watch his vineyards from time to time. The mercenary Knights always had a soft spot for Halflings to the point where Seredic managed to pay half price for their services. Since the Knights of the Fallen were mostly Vel Anirians who for the most part saw Halflings as their kin, Seredic took advantage of their generosity.

Sadly the same cannot be said for other human mercenaries like these motor mouthed rapscallions. The twins will drain Seredic of his coin but given that he's been thrusted into a pit of snakes thanks to their antics, Seredic will need to rely on them. "Now Sam," Seredic said forcing a smile. "Why don't you help your sister go through the debris?"

"W-Who are you sir?" the man asked his patchy white skin gleaming against the Sun.

"Concerned citizens," Seredic said simply approaching the man. "We've heard terrible things that had happened to your shop." Seredic stared at the blackened rubble that was the man's shop. "It's a bloody shame."

"I've built meself," the man said wiping the tears off his eyes with is wrist. "I was just a man travelling from Alliria, trying to start a business. Came here with nothing but the clothes on my back and the loan from the Bank."

"The Bank of Alliria?" Seredic asked. "It just happens I have some dealings with them."

And by dealings, Seredic really meant that he has one of the largest bank accounts in there. The Bank of Alliria isn't the only Bank in Arethril but it is the oldest and most influential. Many Allirian bankers often go out of their way to provide Seredic with the best service possible. However given the circumstances, it's best not to rub his wealth in front of the poor soul. "Couldn't find a business in Alliria?"

"Well....." The man fidgeted and he began to gulp. "I-I can't, there's no way for me to start a business."

Seredic frowned. "What do you mean can't?" He asked. "Alliria is the second best city to start the business with the first being Elbion, why would a man travel miles to the desert just so they can start business? You know there you could've just settled down in a village along the Gold Road and started a business there?"

The man said nothing causing Seredic to feel a little awkward. "I pushed too much and I apologize," he said quickly. "What is your name."

"Ebert," he replied hoarsely. "I'm an blacksmith who creates and sells pots and pans for cheap prices."

"Ah," Seredic nodded. "So tell me Ebert? What happened that day that your store was burned?"

"I was just out drinking with my mates?" he said. "Until saw smoke coming from the market district, ran as fast as I could to see my shop burning. I've tried to put it out but I was too late."

"I see...." Seredic said looking at twins. "Did you catch a glimpse on who did it?"

"Two people," Ebert replied. "Couldn't get a good look at them because they were wearing hoods. But they moved the same like they were twins."

Seredic frowned. "twins," he said. "I don't think that's how it works."

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

This little shit. Pompous prick of a halfling. Yeah, sure, he'd gotten them out of doing the laborious lawman work, but still, what the fuck. They didn't normally mind an insult or two--okay, scratch that, it really depended on the amount of beer they had recently drank. Anyway, point being, they sure couldn't wait until they got into a scrap so they could leave that hairball high and dry. For a little bit at least. Ooo, or maybe swing a punch really wide and "accidentally" clip that wine-swilling, stool-sized, half-price garden hoe of a halfling right in the jaw. Oops.

Scythe's body smirked. Said, "Whatever you say, bossman."

Nyght's body came over, and they both went to the far side of the burnt-up stables. Got a little breathing room from the halfling and to let this irritation shit cool down a bit. Normally they'd be striking up an unnecessary conversation between their bodies, facing each other and gesturing and generally doing things asynchronously, but, again, fuck it. Too hot, too peeved for that shit.

As the halfling kept up his chat with the "suspect," Scythe and Nyght just looked down at the ruined frames of blackened wood closest to their feet. Yup. Shit got fucked up alright. Now what? What exactly were they supposed to be looking for in this debris? Damn it, this was some more lawman type shit. If anything, Scythe and Nyght were the ones who'd be doing the burning down and blowing up, not investigating or whatever the fuck. Heh, you know, which was hilarious in a way. 'Cause while they normally would be the ones to do it, they didn't in this case and were blamed anyway. The one time. Imagine that.

Well, if anything, if the halfling did manage to doggedly uncover the asshole who got them blamed, Scythe and Nyght could punch that ballsack for puttin' them through all the trouble. So there was that.

In the meantime...they just sort of took turns between Scythe's body and Nyght's body meekly kicking little pieces of wood and broken stone back and forth. Accomplishing nothing. Other than mild amusement.

 

[Seredic]

Seredic can tell that the twins did not take his not-so-subtle jab lightly ah bah! They'll get over it! A few more bags of coins and they'll forget what he said. Samuel and Samantha are probably the types who will give a Dragon a handjob depending how much coin a person is willing to dish to them. Seredic is paying more than they deserve, if anything the two of them should be grateful that they're a bit richer and not having their necks on the nooses.

The Halfling ignored the little shove by Samuel the petty bastard turning his attention towards Ebert. His story is odd considering he traveled all this way to be a merchant. If anything the Savanah Desert is the third or fourth best place to be a businessman at least that was according to his recollections reading: Arethril Monthly. "What do you mean?" Ebert asked snapping Seredic from his thoughts.

"What I mean good sir," Seredic responded. "Is that just because two hooded figures move simultaneously doesn't necessarily mean that they're twins."

There was a fear in Ebert's eyes he tried to smile but he his legs were constantly shaking and his brown, linen pants has suddenly become darker. "Why are you so certain that the culprits are twins?" Seredic asked. "You seemed insistent."

"No sir Dwarf!" Ebert said shaking his head frantically. "It was just... just."

"I am a Halfling not a Dwarf," Seredic said. "It's okay we get mixed up a lot the best way to tell is to bring a Vel Anirian and have him spot the difference. If he winds up killing one of them that person is a Dwarf."

Seredic paused. "Okay that was an old joke," he said smiling. "But no offense it sounds like you're hiding something."

Just as he said that, a badge was uncovered near where Scythe and Nyght were digging. It resembled a Black Falcon and glistened against the sun.

 

[Scythe and Nyght]

Hey, this was actually kinda fun. Just kicking around random bits of detritus with no real purpose or goal. Relaxing in a way. Like breaking shit to feel better about something. Cathartic. Scythe and Nyght started to get into it. Kicking this piece of broken ass wood. Kicking that piece of broken ass wood. Kicking this--shit, that was a pile of ashes. Fuck.

Scythe and Nyght stepped away for a moment as the ashes in the air dispersed and settled. Then went back to it.

Scythe's body kicked a little burnt piece of wood. Nyght's body kicked a broken stone.

Scythe's body stepped back and kicked the shit out of a door hinge. Sent it flying! Nyght's body stepped back and kicked the shit out of some badge with a bird on it. Sent it flying!

Scythe's body kicked the holy hell out of a bucket that miraculously survived the fire or whatever and it went sailing and bounced off the wall of nearby storefront. They laughed. Nyght's body tried kicking the holy hell out of another piece of wood, a big ass one this time, and it went all of about one inch and both of them doubled over and hopped on one foot simultaneously.

"Fuck!" they said in unison. A string of profanity likewise followed.

Eh. They decided to cool it. Both of their bodies went back to the front of the burnt-up stable, each favoring that respective sore right foot. Fucking hell, just tryin' to make the best of a shitty situation and work off some ire. Still, not bad. They had imagined kicking Amenhotep and his lackeys in the balls for each little piece of debris, so they got something out of it.

Well, back to pretending to do something worthwhile. Fuckin' lawmen. Like it was so hard to search this shit and do their own jobs.

In this, they gleefully ignored any and all hypocrisy.

 

[Seredic]

Seredic felt a sharp, searing pain in the back of his neck. At first he thought an insect bit him fearing that it could be a Desert Beetle that is infamous for its poison stings that'll lead a victim to madness. The Halfling immediately slapped the back of his neck to try to prevent that from happening however the moment Seredic turned around he saw that what nicked him wasn't a Desert Beetle but a Black Falcon.

Specifically a badge resembling a Black Falcon, "It seems that these nitwits managed to find something useful," Seredic thought. "Even if they didn't even find the item."

"Are you all right good sir?" Ebert asked nervously reaching for his pipe in his pocket, he was still shaken from Seredic's questioning more fearful of him rather than the fact that his market burned down. Why? This strange day has already becoming stranger.

"Other than the lamentation of not finding good help in these trying times." Seredic said side eyeing the twins. "I'm rather chipper well other than the fact that I am sad for you. Everything that you worked for has been reduced to cinders. I trust that you have insurance on it?"

Ebert said nothing.

"No then?" Seredic shook his head in shame, it was always advantageous to get insurance though lately companies have been rather strict in taking customers since many are fond of committing insurance fraud. Seredic recalled a wizard who deliberately destroyed his business with an Earthquake spell so he can collect the coin. Many Insurance companies now have high interests rates for mages.

"Well I'm truly sorry," Seredic said taking out the Black Falcon badge and showing it to Ebert. "But a question, have you ever seen this?"

Ebert then became pale. "No!" he shouted. "You're with them are you?! All of you!"

Seredic was bewildered. "Why no?" he said slowly. "Who is them? Did they do this?"

Ebert began to blubber incoherently it was hard to make sense of it all. "This is a symbol," Seredic said. "I think you're hiding something Ebert. We're trying to help you and if you're not going to do so, we can't protect you."

The Halfling turned to Scythe and Nyght. "Isn't that right?" he asked the twins through clenched teeth.