Private Tales Things We Lost In The Flames

A private roleplay only for those invited by the first writer

Teagan Monroe

Former Officer of the Troop - Current Amnesiac
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Gerard and Teagan had spent three amazingly wonderful day at her home in Alliria before they decided it was finally time to go back to the guild. Three days of being wrapped in each others arms, sleeping in, not worrying about their responsibilities. It had been great. Neither of them really wanted to go and they had spoken for hours about their plans to take an early retirement. Would they actually do it? Probably not, but it was nice to have that fantasy to sustain them. They loved each other and they loved the guild. They had gone around and around about who could take over. Teagan, of course, worried most about what she would do if they went through with it since the guild was all she had ever known. So many questions and they had not come up with many answers.

They had procured another horse before leaving Alliria so they rode separately, side by side. Teagan had been unusually quiet this morning as they had packed up and started their journey home. "Gerard, maybe we should just put all this talk on hold for now. We cannot deliver news that we lost so many archers and then say bye. That is cruel." She looked down sadly and sighed. She knew they would never leave.

As they grew closer to the guild house, an uneasy feeling fell over Teagan. Something wasn't right. It smelled weird...off. She looked over at Gerard to see if he noticed it too. "Something smells funny," Teagan said. "Literally."
 
The time the two of them had spent together at Teagan's secret home undoubtedly helped Gerard rest his wearied heart and mind after the lingering threat of the Lindwurm seemingly had been pushed away in his mind. He was, of course, relieved he could find someone to share his life and extensive experience with, and with someone who could keep up with him mentally and physically, too. For him Teagan was a bit of a dream come true.

Yet thoughts of those dreams swiftly turned to nightmares as they made their way through the city streets towards the Brotherhood guildhall and a smell wracked his senses with an unmistakable and horrid scent. He was all too familiar with the power of fire and its destructive tendencies, yet at first he passed it off as perhaps something else, some other building somewhere having caught fire instead. But as they drew nearer and nearer to the guildhall, his heart grew heavy with anxious visions and he kicked his horse into a quick trot. It couldn't be, right? There's no way, no one in their right mind would attack a guild full of archers... yet his mind was heavy with thoughts as he drew closer and closer, having forgotten Teagan in the moment to try to get to the site as quickly as possible...

Teagan Monroe
 
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Teagan spurred her horse forward after Gerard. She had finally placed the smell and horror filled her at the same time they came across the remains of what used to be the guildhall. It was a pile of still smoldering black ash.

"No no no no no no..." Teagan jumped from her horse before she had even stopped trotting. She ran towards what was once her home. The place she was born and raised. The place where most of her memories took place. It was gone.

She felt the bile rising in her throat and she covered her mouth. Where were the members? Oh no...she thought. It was still morning so the guild had been attacked overnight. The archers and their families were asleep. She couldn't bring herself to walk closer. She knew.

"Gerard..."

Gerard Montefort
 
Gerard found arrived at the somber scene of the burned-down guildhall and remarked upon it with a philosophical inquiry only someone who dealt in death could feasibly ask, and that question was: How much more death will I see before I see my own? He knew Teagan wouldn't take this well, and, judging by the nervous foot stamping, neither was his horse. Something about the event seemed surreal, as if somehow he was watching himself see the charred remains of both he and Teagan's life's work rather than being the one to see it. He could handle small amounts of bodies, but this was a tragedy on a scale he hadn't seen too many times before in his life, minus some of the wars that had happened around Erethil that he and the guild had taken part in. But this... this was personal. And far too tragic to simply push down like he had every other death he'd ever seen.

There were city guards roaming around here and there, perhaps investigators trying to understand what had happened. Gerard was a good tracker, sure, but he wasn't familiar with the causes and methods of such large fires. Was this all just some terrible accident, he wondered, or was it something more nefarious? Maybe they would know, but right now he couldn't stomach the thought of picking through ash and cinder to look for clues he didn't know how to find.

Then there was the matter of Teagan, his dear Teagan, who he could already hear struggling to handle the sights, the sounds, and maybe worst of all, the smell... What could he really say to her in a moment like this? He wasn't eloquent, or even a well-spoken man... So, he put his hand on her shoulder, gently, for reassurance, hoping it might do something but knowing full well her will was strong and whatever she did next, there was likely little he could do to stop her.

Teagan Monroe
 
Teagan felt Gerard's hand on her shoulder. It felt far away and she felt no comfort from it. No comfort from him in this moment. Everything she had ever known was gone. Everything but Gerard. They were here, alive, because they had taken their time getting back to the guild.

She just stared into the remains of the guildhall while everything else faded away. Her eyes roamed over the distruction and she finally lost it when she saw a small charred hand. The Officer of the Troop of the Brotherhood of the Bow fell to her knees. She sat back on her heels and screamed.

Teagan screamed until she couldn't scream anymore. The city guards were probably staring at her as she screamed and cried. This was her fault. She didn't know how but it was her fault. She had did something wrong. She was in charge of all these people and she had failed them so completely.

Gerard Montefort
 
He wished he could have broken down like she was. He wished he could even shed a single tear for the men they had lost, and all the work they had built. And, he wished he could in any way lament the centuries of progress that had been undone overnight by some unknown entity or force. Maybe someone did this; maybe it was just really, really bad luck. Either way, Gerard couldn't do much more other than stay atop his horse, looking vacantly into the ash and cinder, the only remains of their former lives.

Who knew what they would do now. Most of their gold was likely lost as a result of this as well, and Gerard had been looking to retire soon, but it would seem those plans would have to go on hold. It was over for the Brotherhood, it seemed, unless they tried to rebuild from nothing, a task so monumental he couldn't even fathom it now, especially with the doubtless ruined reputation they would likely have after this.

Still, seeing his lover and former second-in-command in such anguish was too much for him to bear.

"Teagan!" he half-shouted. His voice was stern and commanding, yet faltered by his following words. "Let's... Let's go home," he said, riding up to her and offering his hand. All they had now was each other; that would just have to be enough, even though it was all they had now.

Teagan Monroe
 
Home.

Teagan didn't have a home anymore. This was her home. The other was a house, an escape, a vacation...this was her home.

Her home was gone.

She slowly turned her teared stained face to Gerard and saw his hand. She didn't move though. She just stared at the pile of dark ash and cried some more. He would have to drag her away. She wouldn't leave...she couldn't. She had already betrayed their trust so much already and she deserved to be dead with every single one of them.

Teagan slowly got up to her feet and started to walk towards the smoldering remains. She wouldn't let them stay here alone. She would join them. She took her dagger out of it's sheath as she walked closer to the remains that held her people.

Gerard Montefort
 
The effects of sudden shocks and traumas to the human psyche was something Gerard was all too familiar seeing. Someone's brother in arms might be struck down by a stray arrow or spell, and the survivor would break down in the middle of the battle, incapable of continuing the fight after so drastic and tragic. But this was different. The loss was incalculable, more than he could understand in the current moment, or maybe even in this lifetime. And Teagan was bearing that loss as well.

He followed her slowly, dismounting his horse and walking softly behind her. They might have looked like a funeral procession. Then, before he could react, she'd drawn the knife.

What is she thinking?

His thoughts grew heavy as he wondered if the day had yet more life to claim, and he wondered if he could even stop her should she try to do something with that dagger...

Teagan Monroe
 
Teagan felt like she was in a trance as she stepped into what was left of her home. She would end it here. She would stop the pain and the guilt. She couldn't though. As she stood there with her dagger drawn, she couldn't end her own life. She couldn't do that to Gerard.

Gerard.

She turned around and looked at him helplessly through her tear stained eyes. She put the dagger back in its sheath and threw herself into his arms. She cried into his chest. She shook and screamed and tried to hit him but he held her too tight.

"Why?!" She cried over and over and over.

Gerard Montefort
 
Seeing her like this was too much even for Gerard--well, that and he'd always had a soft spot for her. He was more than grateful she put the dagger away; he could only imagine what she'd been thinking to do with it, but he suspected it was nothing good. He held her tightly, as a few tears solemnly made their way down his own cheeks, letting her scream and get out whatever feelings she had.

Of course, he worried what he would do once they had a chance to get away. It was always his way to deal with things later...

Finally, after she'd had a moment, he spoke to her, softly.

"Teagan, I... We should go. We can hire someone else to investigate it... this is too much... we should go somewhere safe, somewhere away from this..."

Teagan Monroe
 
Teagan and Gerard finally made their way back to her - their - townhouse. She didn't remember the journey or walking up the stairs or changing her clothes or crawling into bed. She just knew that laying in bed, crying is the only place she wanted to be.

Teagan was not sure how much time has passed. She vaguely remembered getting up to relieve herself and Gerard bringing her food but the rest of the time was filled with sleeping and crying.

Teagan was broken.

She didn't know that life was worth living anymore. She had her townhouse and she had Gerard. That was it. Everything else was gone.

On whatever day it was - she had lost track of time completely - she made her way downstairs to find Gerard. They needed to talk.

Gerard Montefort
 
For days he spent time just making sure Teagan was attended to--it seemed she was unable to do much other than eat, and sulk, if you could even call it that. He'd stay by her bedside when she was asleep, but the toll of the fire weighed heavily on him as well. His book, his life's work about archery and its art--was now gone. So, he did what he felt he had to do, even though it seemed impossible, and started writing anew.

He wasn't really writing about archery though, he found. Instead, he was recalling memories. Darker places from battles and other areas of his life that he wouldn't want to say aloud. Places he secretly wished he was in, because it felt like maybe there he would at least have some control over the situation, instead of having it stolen away like with the fire. Anger, sadness--the emotions blended together and he couldn't tell what he was really feeling anymore. But he was feeling it, and it was shaking him to the core.

A few days had passed, and he didn't register at first Teagan's footsteps as she came down the stairs to the living room, where Gerard had stoked a fire and was sitting on a chair, writing with a small cup of ale next to him on a small table. In a moment, he looked up, eyeing Teagan but saying nothing. What could he even say?

Teagan Monroe
 
"Hi," that was all Teagan said as she crossed the room and took a seat on the couch near Gerard. "I'm sorry for the last," she closed her eyes and tried to recall a number. "I have no idea how many days, but I am sorry." She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them like she was creating a safety bubble for herself. Safety was a lie.

"I would be lying if I said I was better but it is time to stop sulking and do something. Find the people who did it? Kill them? I don't know," she looked over at her love and just sighed softly.

"We should have been there with them, Gerard. Maybe we could have saved them..." She was lying to herself now. There was no saving anyone. They would be dead and so would everyone else.

Gerard Montefort
 
He listened to Teagan's words with some sense of curiosity, but also the empathy of being in roughly the same place emotionally, mentally. How could he comfort her when he himself felt so lost? It seemed a herculean task to him, even as his new writings felt more and more like the ramblings of a man possessed than that of the greatest archer who ever lived. He thought maybe he should reach out to her, but the distance seemed too immense.

"We could track the ones who did it," he said, sullenly. "But what more could that bring but more bloodshed? We've both seen our fair share of killing..."

He paused for a while before continuing, his words hanging heavily in the air.

"...And to think, I was about to retire..."

Speaking grew more and more difficult, and he was choking up now. While Teagan may have been getting better, he'd been slowly getting worse as it was getting more impossible to deny all the negative emotions he'd been suppressing, if only for her sake. He left her with one pointed question:

"Would you really be happier if you'd died with them?"

Of course, the question wasn't about the question. What he was really asking, was "Was the guild more important than us?"

Teagan Monroe
 
"I wouldn't be in pain right now," Teagan mumbled softly. Of course she did not really wish that she had died with them but it was easier to make herself think that. The two of them had to start over now. Start over from scratch.

"We don't even know who to go after so unless someone claims the attack, we are stuck. We just have to...start over..." The words hurt. They hurt so much coming out.

The real question on her mind was what was going to happen with her and Gerard. They had been so happy and then bam the world was ripped out from under them. Gone. Everything they had.

"I have enough money to last us a few months without having to find work but it won't last forever," Teagan stated the obvious. "I suppose the only thing we could really do is mercenary work. Well, I could sell my body..." She cracked a small smile. The first smile in what seemed like forever.

Gerard Montefort
 
It could have been for any number of reasons that their guild had been destroyed. They'd made many enemies in many wars, and even without considering that, they could have just been the target of someone looking to make some coin... Actually, he remembered that he should really check with the city guard, as they would know any remaining items would belong to them. Perhaps they wouldn't be so penniless. It was a fain hope, but it was hope...

Mercenary work? After everything? His mind recoiled from the thought of them gearing up again to fight. He didn't have it in him anymore, not after the Wurm, and not after this. Still, he couldn't help but chuckle at her joke, crude as it was. She seemed to be recovering, at last.

"Haven't we both sold our bodies enough at this point?" he asked, slyly pointing at their previous careers. It was certainly possible for them to become mercenaries again, but...

"I think at this point I'd rather help a grocer than bring myself to fight again," he said, somewhat ashamedly. It was a warrior's pride that was perhaps the most prone to injury. But the stress of it all had really affected him...

Teagan Monroe
 
Teagan had unfolded herself out of her little cocoon of sadness and was sitting on the couch like a normal human now. "I cannot see you as a grocer," she chuckled. She loved him though. He loved her. They could figure anything out as long as they were together.

"Come here, my love," she said and held out a hand for him. She just wanted to feel normal with him again. Just for a little bit until they needed to figure out their new reality. "We can talk about serious things later. I just need you right now. I know I have been terrible and I am sorry."

Gerard Montefort
 
"I cannot see you as a grocer,"
"I suppose commanding a vegetable cart has much less authority than a guild of mercenaries, granted, but when you see the way those cabbages march, you'll change your mind." He said, grinning.

He reached his hand to hers, his eyes understanding.

"We can take as much time as we need, Teagan," he said. "There is... it is strangely freeing, to be without the guild. Perhaps in some way we needed this time..."

He pulled her closer, if she'd allow, for an embrace.

Teagan Monroe
 
Teagan snuggled into her love and she actually felt happy for the first time since the attack. She flinched when he mentioned that this may be what they needed.

"Maybe. I love you, Gerard. I love you so much and I am happy we still have each other. I just...worry."

She did have to agree that all of this was weirdly freeing. It was the first time in her life that neither of them had to worry about anyone else. "So what do you want to do with our new found freedom, my love?"

Gerard Montefort
 
"So what do you want to do with our new found freedom, my love?"

I... I don't know.

It wasn't really a thought he'd entertained, not much anyway. He thought it might be a good time to finish his book, when he'd retired, but that was about the extent of it. The guild really was his whole life, and Teagan's too, he suspected. 3 days had not been enough time to answer this kind of question, nor was it enough to realize that this was their new reality, whether they were prepared for it or not.

"I love you too, Teagan," he answered, still taken aback by her question. "I don't have an answer for you. This isn't the kind of thing you prepare for... But if you've got an idea, I'm certainly open to suggestions."

It was all kinds of awkward and uncomfortable, to be sure, as he admitted that for once he didn't have a plan. Maybe, with just a little more time... maybe then he'd have one.

"How much do we have saved, love? Perhaps we should go somewhere, maybe try to enjoy ourselves instead of dwelling on it."

Teagan Monroe
 
Teagan didn't have any ideas. She was still at a complete loss on what they would do next. She was hoping her knew but it seemed her was lost as well.

She looked at him when he asked about their savings and suggested they travel. Yes, that would help them. Wouldn't it? Gods, she could only hope so.

"We have enough for a few years, Gerard." She had mentioned the savings before but she had never specifically said how much she had...they had. He had never asked before. She had actually already done the calculations before the attack because she was curious with their talk of retirement.

"Where do you want to go?"
 
The question of "What will you do now?" hung heavily on Gerard's mind now, as Teagan confirmed that they couldn't simply stay here and try to recover for the rest of their days. It was still too soon to take action, he thought, but all the same, it was a thought that lingered and stung every time it was brought back to the surface. And he could only guess how Teagan was going to deal with the situation long-term. Like joining another mercenary company and risking her life again for coin, which was a thought he couldn't stomach even the slightest right now. Not after the Wurm. And not after the fire.

Traveling would only do so much, too. This home bound them to Alliria; it didn't make sense to take up lodging elsewhere when they already had something here. They could perhaps travel to ease their minds, but wherever the destination, it would all lead back to Alliria, in the end. But perhaps a trip could clear their minds a bit. He stroked his chin, pondering where of all places he would even like to go at a time like this.

"Perhaps we could visit Elves in the Falwood," he said, at last. "There I'm sure we could shoot and test ourselves against their finest, and see how we stack up..."

It wasn't the only option, though, of course, and he knew Teagan might not be eager to shoot again, despite claiming she might do mercenary work.

"Or we could visit the Empire. Maybe Vel Anir has some interesting sights to see as well. Whatever the case, I think it would be good for us to get away..."

At least, for a little while, he thought. He rubbed Teagan's back softly, awaiting her response.

Teagan Monroe
 
The last that Teagan wanted was to touch a bow. She needed some time away from her beloved weapon. The weapon that held her heart as much as Gerard did. She sighed before she shifted so her head was in his lap and she was looking up at him with her legs stretched out on the couch.

"I don't know. I will go anywhere as long as we are together. I have never traveled to just...travel." She pulled his hand around her stomach and threaded her fingers into his. "I will go wherever you want to, my love."
 
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Gerard stroked Teagan’s hair gently as he thought of where they might go, or what they might do. There were strange lands beyond Alliria, and he didn’t know how many of them would be inviting for a pair of humans such as themselves. No matter where he could think of, though, it seemed there was archery. The elves, and the nomads to the north, too. The hunters of the Spine. It seemed that tradition was everywhere. Well, maybe she wouldn't shoot. But Gerard’s mind was set.

"Then let's be off tomorrow, and head to the Falwood. I have heard Elves are welcoming hosts, and their realm is a peaceful, safe one. Perhaps we may rest there for many days or weeks, then travel again."

He waited to hear her response to his proposal.

Teagan Monroe
 
It had been two months since the attack. Two months since Gerard and Teagan had left Alliria and headed to Falwood. The Elves were, indeed, welcoming hosts. Teagan had given a large amount of money for a quiet home they could stay in. It was simple and beautiful. It would be perfect for a newlyweds on their honeymoon.

Everything was lighter in Falwood, everything but their spirits. Teagan no longer wanted to end her life every second of the day but she was still not doing great. She had taken to going on long walks everyday. She would be gone for entire afternoons sometimes. She didn't know what Gerard for up to when she was gone and he had never wanted to go with her. She had never pushed him on it either.

Today she had spent the majority of the day laying on the bank of a lake. The sun warmed her at the same time the cool breeze kept her cool. It was really perfect out. She had thought about heading back to the house a few times but she hadn't gotten the will yet.

Gerard Montefort